It's a common - if painful - dynamic:  we want to share our pain with another in the hopes of receiving empathy, but their best move is to try and fix our pain by finding fault with something we've said or done.

It is so hurtful to be blamed for our own pain.  

In this week's episode, a caller asks a universally applicable question:  "What can I do when I share my pain with my spouse and he blames me for it?"

Highlights include:

• 2:50  If all I get is blame, why should I even try to have the conversation?
• 7:03  How to ground a discussion in a micro moment
• 10:03 Scripts that help "waking up" feel pleasurable and not painful
• 12:05 Doing the inner work necessary for successful conversations
• 15:15  A script for getting to "Yes"
• 22:54  "I'm not trying to change you."
• 24:24  The role of our defensive system

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

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