Conversations from the Heart

#64 - Stop Being Polite: How to Say the Disruptive Thing


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It's domination programming that teaches us the louder we raise our voices, the faster the other person will capitulate and join our side.

However, in order to affect real change, the key is to get others to care about what it is we're caring about.  And this is a much slower, longer, harder task.

In this episode, we talk with a caller embarking on a trip to South Africa, who is interested in showing up authentically to her traveling companions, without raising their defenses.  The ultimate goal?  To get them to care about what she cares about.  We discuss:

  • 1:44  How can I show up authentically around my husband's colleagues when we see the world so differently?
  • 3:34  One of the dynamics present is the devaluation of indigenous history and culture 
  • 5:55  How to step out of the old domination game
  • 7:43  Making the implicit explicit
  • 12:54  Empathizing with the other side
  • 16:37  The importance of expressing care
  • 18:45  It's enough to introduce a disruptive voice into the room

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off


For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

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Conversations from the HeartBy Yvette Erasmus

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