BiggerPockets Real Estate Podcast

683: Why Expert Negotiators Love to Hear “No” w/Never Split the Difference’s Chris Voss


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Chris Voss is an expert negotiator. After going from a street cop to the FBI and later thriving as a hostage negotiator, he wrote the world-famous book, Never Split the Difference. This book has served as a masterclass in negotiation for almost every field of work, including real estate investing. Although many of Chris’s examples come from life-or-death situations, the same rules and tactics can be applied to real estate investing. That is exactly why Chris pivoted and started coaching real estate agents to become better negotiators.

But maybe you’re not an agent. Maybe you’re just trying to get your first or next deal done, working with a tough buyer/seller, and feeling like you’re making no headway. Chris has seen this time and time again. An overly aggressive buyer comes in, lowballs a seller, the seller then paints the buyer as the enemy, and the duo does a dance to the death ending in no deal done and frustrations at all-time highs. This is NOT the way to do real estate deals, and Chris has some advice that’ll help you change the way you (and your agent) get things done.

Chris goes in-depth on a few concepts, such as why “no” is actually what you want to hear, how to form “calibrated questions” that get you what you want, and why you’ll need to start using “tactical empathy” if you want to close deals faster. These are some of the same tactics that co-host Rob recently used to get a multimillion-dollar property, without much money out of pocket. No matter your skill level, number of deals done, or years of experience, this advice from Chris could catapult your investing to the next level.

In This Episode We Cover:

Reviewing key lessons taught in Chris’s classic, Never Split the Difference 

Why most real estate agents will work against their clients, instead of with them

Using overcommunication to develop instant rapport with a buyer, seller, or client

Tactical empathy” and why it’s a brilliant way to keep your opponent open to offers

Asking “calibrated questions” that make sellers feel safe when working with you

Building a negotiation scarecrow and making someone else (not you) the instant, uniting enemy

And So Much More!

Links from the Show

Find an Investor-Friendly Real Estate Agent

BiggerPockets Youtube Channel

BiggerPockets Forums

BiggerPockets Pro Membership

BiggerPockets Bookstore

BiggerPockets Bootcamps

BiggerPockets Podcast

BiggerPockets Merch

Listen to All Your Favorite BiggerPockets Podcasts in One Place

Learn About Real Estate, The Housing Market, and Money Management with The BiggerPockets Podcasts

Get More Deals Done with The BiggerPockets Investing Tools

Find a BiggerPockets Real Estate Meetup in Your Area

David's BiggerPockets Profile

David's Instagram

Rob's BiggerPockets Profile

Rob's Youtube

Rob's Instagram

Rob's TikTok

Rob's Twitter

BiggerPockets Podcast 260 with Chris

The Happiness Advantage TED Talk

Books Mentioned in the Show:

The Full-Fee Agent by Chris Voss

Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss

SKILL by David Greene

Connect with Chris:

Chris' Website


Click here to check the full show notes: https://www.biggerpockets.com/blog/real-estate-683

Interested in learning more about today’s sponsors or becoming a BiggerPockets partner yourself? Check out our sponsor page!

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