As surprising as it may sound, you shouldn’t tailor your boundary work to the diagnosis of a loved one. Working with hundreds of women over the years, I’ve found that women tend to be more focused on trying to figure out their loved one's conditions and diagnoses, and that's why I’m dedicating this episode to women.  In this episode you'll learn why digging into a loved one’s labels and conditions is ultimately a distraction from boundary work, which always starts and ends with you and your reality.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #81:

• I believe that all of these labels and diagnoses are ultimately distractions, and focusing on them isn’t helpful when it comes to creating your limits, standards, and boundaries.
• When we focus on researching diagnoses, it’s not just a waste of our time, but also outside of our circle of control.
• All of this applies even if you’re a licensed physician or mental health treatment provider (even me)! It’s not within your circle of control to veer into someone else’s lane and try to diagnose what’s going on with someone close to you.

Highlights from Episode #81:

• Vicki welcomes listeners to this episode that’s dedicated to women, and explains what she’ll cover. [00:39]
• When it comes to setting boundaries, how can it not matter that your spouse has a diagnosed issue or condition? [03:57]
• Vicki shares a couple of personal examples that illustrate her point about not spending your time figuring out a diagnosis. [07:55]
• When you research various conditions too much, it’s easy to start believing that you have them, Vicki points out. [10:52]
• We hear another reason why Vicki doesn’t recommend tailoring your boundary work to the diagnosis of a loved one. [13:32]

 

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram
• Mother Enmeshed Men (Ken Adams)
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 48: Relationship Boundaries with Mother Enmeshed Men (MEM)
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 9: Introduction to the 5-Step Boundary Solution
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 10: Knowing and Owning Your Reality (Step 1 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution)
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 11: Getting Your Needs Met (Step 2 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution)
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 12: Your Power Center (Step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution)
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 14: Taking Action! (Step 4 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution)
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 15: When Boundaries are Successful . . . or Not (Step 5 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution)
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 78: If I’m Triggered, Are You Responsible?