Sex With Dr. Jess

A Sexologist’s Guide to Kissing


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Kissing is more than a means to an end! If you want to take your kissing game to the next level, listen to this quickie episode and try out some of Jess’ favourite techniques tonight.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. 

Partial Podcast Transcript Below:

Kissing is apparently not a natural act - meaning that it hasn’t existed since the beginning of human time. I know that it seems to us that it’s a totally innate behaviour, historians and evolutionary researches suggest that it actually emerged from maternal feeding routines. In fact, many cultures have prospered without locking lips which serves as a reminder that kissing is an erotic art as opposed to a reproductive imperative.

From a scientific perspective — even though it’s not innate — it’s likely that kissing may have been found to find its way into the mating game eventually. Not only does locking lips result in a flurry of feel-good hormones that promote relaxation and bonding, but from an evolutionary perspective, kissing may help us to gauge compatibility and other attributes of potential mates through our olfactory system. One study revealed that women prefer men whose scents contain immune genes (histocompatibility complex) that are different than their own. Scientists believe that this instinctive desire for genetic difference serves the evolutionary function of ensuring stronger offspring. Accordingly, the degree of chemistry you experience when you first kiss, may be an indicator of compatibility measured by your nose as opposed to your mouth or other body parts.

Kissing also involves the swapping of saliva, which contains testosterone, and this hormone is associated with libido. In conjunction with other research suggesting that men are more likely than women to seek and initiate deep tongue kissing, this may explain some of the gender differences in perceptions of kissing: while men tend to utilize making out as a means to an end (sex), women view kissing as a barometer with which to gauge their lover’s commitment and monitor their relationship status.

However you view it, smooching plays a prominent role in seduction, romantic attachment, and sexual arousal. Unfortunately, in long-term relationships, we often stop kissing or push passionate kissing aside in favor of other forms of foreplay.  And while there is no universal hierarchy of sex acts, research suggests that kissing is not only good for your health but also promotes happier relationships. In one study, conducted by behavioral scientist Kerry Floyd, couples who were instructed to kiss more often reported fewer fights, greater relationship satisfaction, less stress and lower cholesterol in comparison to couples who received no instruction with regard to kissing. In addition to lowering cortisol levels (which reduces stress), kissing has also been linked with improvements to the parasympathetic nervous system, which is essential to sexual response.

Despite the mounting evidence that locking lips is good for you and your love life, mastering the art of kissing and keeping things fresh can be a challenge. So read through the following suggestions and techniques to learn a few new tricks designed to keep you happy, healthy and very much in love for years to come...

The Soft-Lipped Kiss

Some people believe that the world is divided into two types of kissers: soft-lipped and firm-lipped. But the reality is that our sexual style varies according to our mood just as our appetite changes from day to day. If your lover seeks romance and often needs help relaxing to get in the mood, slide your lips gently against theirs with only feather-light contact. Take your time and gently pucker their lower lip between yours allowing your gentle breathing to slow their breath rate and send their body into a state of deep relaxation.

Lip Lining
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Sex With Dr. JessBy Dr. Jess O'Reilly

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