A Thousand Tiny Steps

As I give out MollyB awards and receive an award of my own, I reflect on what I'm doing in my life, how I'm working towards my goals, what my priorities are, and how I am adjusting to my life which is changing rapidly.

Key Takeaways:

[1:09] Life still carries on even if Molly is dead

[3:04] The story of Fanny Minot the person who I received the award in honor of

[8:36] Matt Bonner: a famous basketball player who also received the award

[9:43] Adversity in life, finding someone to blame, and looking at yourself

[11:52] Not fixating on the result as a measure of success

[12:36] You have to work hard all the time, you can't just wish for it

[13:48] Comparing yourself to others makes no sense

[15:47] You are as sick as the secrets you keep and self sabotage

[19:02] I want to go deeper into stories and not shy away from them

[22:02] Having to adjust to my life changing

Resources:

• Matt and I's speeches

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The Molly B Foundation

Jenn is a mortician who turned her life around. After dropping out of high school and working a low paying job that made caring for her children different she met her wonderful husband and got her GED. But when she got into her forties, she felt like she needed to do something for herself. So what did she do? Go to mortuary school, of course.

Key Takeaways:

[2:05] Dropping out of high school, but then changing my life in my forties

[6:40] Getting diagnosed with ADHD and how that helped me succeed

[9:15] How I got into mortuary school and what my classes are like

[14:46] People going to mortuary school because it's "goth and cool"

[17:23] The job is about compassion and having a lot of people skills

[20:33] My hardest classes, my internships, and the amazing story of how I got my job

[24:57] What school didn't prepare me for and the hardest part of my job

[28:47] My favorite part is doing body removals because I get to know the person's life

[34:05] What my schedule looks like and my advice for people wanting to do the job

[36:18] Going to mortuary school is the best thing I ever did, even when I wanted to quit

[41:08] This job has been life changing to me

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The Molly B Foundation

I'm tired of people telling me how to feel, how to grieve, when to grieve, and for how long. Many people project their emotions because they're uncomfortable, but sometimes people just need to sit in grief and not have it minimized.

Key Takeaways:

[0:44] Stop telling me how to grieve and projecting your emotions

[2:27] The memory chair

[11:51] Minimizing grief and the advice people give

[19:11] Being part of a Heart Warriors group and realizing I do belong

[20:56] Being understood in my grief and cleaning out the closet

[24:59] Think about what you're saying to people

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The Molly B Foundation

There has been drama in my town because the prom has been moved locations. This had me reminisce about my own prom, the things others remembered, the history of the prom in my town, and how it should be about bringing the community together.

Key Takeaways:

[1:45] The drama with the prom

[3:27] What I remember about my prom

[9:21] The prom moved to a few key locations, but it's kept shifting

[17:30] The history of the prom in my town

[20:05] My message to the kids who prom got moved

[23:32] What I think should happen with the future of the prom

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The Molly B Foundation

Brenda has achondroplasia, a genetic condition which impacts her bones, but she doesn't let it stop her from living an ordinary life. She talks about how it impacts her day to day, all the businesses she's owned, and how she's never know anything else so she doesn't feel that different.

Key Takeaways:

[0:43] Brenda's condition and how it impacts the body

[6:00] A controversial treatment

[9:09] Brenda's childhood

[14:52] Chronic pain, the jobs she's had, and how it impacts her day to day life

[22:12] Being an older mom, having a normal life, and being kind

[26:44] I'm not disabled

Resources:

• Little People of America

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The Molly B Foundation

When I met Marty in high school, I didn't know it would lead to a decades long friendship, but here we are. We got together to discuss running at Boston College, the drama that came with it, what new sports Marty has discovered, and how our life has changed as we age.

Key Takeaways:

[0:43] How I met Marty: be beating her in a race

[4:18] A love hate relationship, what unified us, and how we went to college together

[12:09] The trauma so many of us runners shared

[19:27] Marti moved and started a company, but then got injured

[23:28] Becoming a competitive cyclist and reconnecting on social media

[29:48] Finding a home in Arizona and the biking community there

[39:21] Contemplating old age and the stage of my life

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The Molly B Foundation

My friend Tim, is an extraordinary person who advocated for himself to get a kidney transplant - from a pig. With the help from his wife Karen, he prepared himself for the transplant, recovered, and is now living a better quality life. Although it is only a gap until he can receive a human kidney, it has helped give him and others on dialysis hope.

Key Takeaways:

[1:15] Tim's kidney failure rapidly progressed

[4:18] Tim put himself in the program to get a pig's kidney

[8:02] He wanted to quit dialysis, his recovery process, and what's changed

[13:26] The anti-rejection meds have their ups and downs

[15:55] This transplant is just a bridge to a human kidney transplant

[17:26] Karen, Tim's wife's, experience going through this

[19:33] Having no social life and people not wanting to talk about death

[21:17] Watching friends die, but finding hope and more time to live

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The Molly B Foundation

I finally went to the Boston Marathon again, contemplated more deep feelings of grief, and saw some old friends from the running community. I think I'm finally ready to join the running community again and get involved in things. In this episode, I really want to hit home that you do what you need to do to get through grief.

Key Takeaways:

[2:45] Going to the Boston Marathon again

[4:32] Losing your child is not the same as losing your parent or pet

[6:01] Making changes, seeing Joanie again, and how running saved me

[14:50] Not knowing your going to lose someone and my drug use

[19:58] The new fundraiser and memorial workout for Molly

[27:04] Do what you need to do in grief

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The Molly B Foundation

As we are upon 10 years without Molly, this anniversary hits especially hard. It makes me relive all the days surrounding it, what I was like, what happened, and the connections that I've found. In this episode, I go into what has changed over a decade and what still remains the same.

Key Takeaways:

[0:36] The doctors proving Molly was dead was horrific

[3:01] Going back to the Boston Marathon and not celebrating holidays

[6:01] Going further into my drug use and my guests

[9:57] Molly dying didn't change the same issues we had as a family

[14:36] Jack has always had a different version of the holidays

[17:34] Getting back to doing 100 burpees a day

[22:05] Battling my addiction to alcohol

[22:39] 20 years ago I met Kenny and 20 years later we would unplug Molly

[23:29] You don't realize what your last moments with somebody will be

[25:45] Having hope for the future

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Baylie's story is one of a night with friends gone wrong and how a series of choices lead to her death. From the police, to the hospital, to the investigation, to fighting to pull her off life support because she didn't want that was a rollercoaster. It was so much more traumatizing than it had to be. But it inspired Shawnee to start a foundation, advocate for college safety, having a will, and writing a book to make sure others know: this can happen to anyone.

Key Takeaways:

[1:48] Baylie going off to college as a pre-med student in neuroscience

[5:24] Going out with her sorority girls to have fun and switching to drinking water

[6:48] Baylie wanted to leave early, got stood up, and things went wrong

[12:23] She got hit by a car while we were thousands of miles away

[16:07] Her injuries, the coma, and the struggle to get the police to look into the crime

[23:49] Universities don't have to be transparent and report deaths like this

[27:03] Transferred to another hospital - and the first hospital missed something major

[31:47] Fighting with the hospital to pull the plug and being left with severe depression

[39:17] Creating the foundation and book about college safety and healthcare proxies

[43:42] Partnering with a will company and an app to keep people safe in rideshares

[47:11] I wrote the book to make a point: this can happen to anyone

Resources:

• Baylie's Wish Foundation

• Baylie's Book

• Trust and Will

• 3rd i

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