A Way Beyond the Rainbow

This is part II of a 2-episode series on marriage and celibacy, answering frequently-asked questions on the topics, with a focus on SSA-related matters.

In this episode, we focus on SSA-related questions within the context of marriage, and we address the topic of celibacy as a legitimate life choice. Is it honest of me to get married without telling my spouse about my SSA? What are some recommendations if I would like to disclose my SSA to him/her? If I had a same-sex sexual encounter before marriage and repented, should I disclose this to my potential spouse? What about a marriage where both partners experience SSA?

If I choose a path of celibacy, how do I fulfill my emotional needs? How do I deal with people giving me a hard time about being single? What if I get old and there is no one to take care of me? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:
- On Solitude
- On Desire: Why We Want What We Want 

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This is part I of a 2-episode series on marriage and celibacy, answering frequently-asked questions on the topics, with a focus on SSA-related matters.

In this episode, we address general questions and misconceptions about marriage. What are the legal rulings on marriage, and when would it actually be discouraged or haram? What if I am pressured by my family and/or community to get married, how do I deal with that? Does marriage "heal" one's SSA? How do I know I’m ready to be sexual and intimate with my spouse, if I’ve never had experience in that domain before? What is some general advice to establish compatibility with my future spouse? These and similar questions are explored in this episode.

Books on marriage and relationships from an Islamic perspective:
- The Muslim Marriage Guide
- Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide
- Before You Tie the Knot: A Guide for Couples
- Before the Wedding: Questions for Muslims to Ask before Getting Married
- Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage: Unlocking the Secrets to Ultimate Bliss

Books on marriage and relationships (general):
- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
- Mating in Captivity
- The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
- How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk
- ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer
- The Art of Seduction
- No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life
- The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Books on marital relations and intimacy:
- The Guide to Getting It On
- Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It
- Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations
- Like a Garment: Intimacy in Islam
- تحرير المرأة في عصر الرسالة - الجزء السادس

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In this episode, Chris joins me again from Melbourne, Australia, to talk about his own journey of healing, relapses and recovery, involving decades of therapy and being part of support groups, as well as findings answers and help in the fields of neuroscience, biology and functional medicine. He shares with us insights and wisdoms gained throughout six decades of life, after having left the gay lifestyle and sought a path of healing and celibacy.

*Trigger warning:  discussion involves sexual abuse, sexual addictions and behaviors as well as relapses throughout a recovery journey*

N.B. This episode is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers with any questions you may have regarding a particular medical condition, or if you'd like to know more about what is being covered in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- Broken Brain podcast episode: What If It Only Took 5 Minutes To Change Your Health? with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
- Amen Clinics - Leading US innovative psychiatric clinic using brain scans to help diagnose and treat psychiatric and other health conditions holistically
- Free 5-minute online brain health assessment from Amen Clinics
- "Straight & Narrow? Compassion Clarity in the Homosexuality Debate" by Thomas E. Schmidt
- "The End of Mental Illness" book
- The Institute for Functional Medicine
- Finding a functional medicine practitioner
- The End of Alzheimer’s - Dr. Dale Bredesen
- Step minus one workshop – the missing physical aspect of sexual recovery
- The functional medicine matrix

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In our last episode on support systems, Br. Ali Jaffery joins me again as a guest speaker and talks to us about the Mankind Project with its different services, like the New Warrior Training and integration groups, as well as a separate initiative called the Noble Man.

How does the Mankind Project help men in general with their growth, healing and masculine identity? What is New Warrior Training weekend, and what does it involve? How does the Noble Man deal with the feminine dimension, and what does the weekend involve? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- Mankind Project website
- New Warrior Training weekends
- Mankind Project's men's groups
- Celebration of Being website
- Noble Man workshops
- More about the Noble Man
- Workshops for Women
- Women's Immersion Weekend

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In this episode, Jeremy Schwab from the US and Alan Alencar from Brazil join me as guest speakers and talk to us about "Joel 2:25" and the international initiatives associated with the organization.

What does "Joel 2:25" stand for? How has "Joel 2:25" evolved throughout the years, and what are some of the services provided for individuals who experience same-sex attractions? How can one be verified and admitted into the different support groups available? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- Joel 2:25 webpage

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In this episode, Mr. Richard Wyler from the US joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about Brothers Road and the services offered by his organization.

How has "Brothers Road" evolved throughout the years from "People Can Change"? What are "Journey into Manhood" (JIM) weekends, and what do they involve in terms of bonding and healing work? What are other journeys offered beyond JIM? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- Brothers Road webpage
- Journey Into Manhood
- Journey Continues
- Journey Beyond
- A Woman Who Loves

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In this episode, Robert Gollwitzer from Germany joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about Homosexuals Anonymous and the 14-step program.

How are the 14 steps different from the 12 steps, and what do they entail? What is the focus of Homosexuals Anonymous, and how does it help individuals struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- Homosexuals Anonymous website
- Robert’s website
- Joe Dallas’s website
- "The Search For Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God's Eyes" by Robert McGee
- "Reconciliation" movie

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In this episode, Chris from Australia joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about 12-step programs as well as sexual recovery programs, like Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), among others.

How did 12-step programs evolve throughout the years and what do they entail? Who are "sponsors" and how do they support us with our recovery? What are some of the different sexual recovery programs out there, and how do they help us in our journeys of abstinence from sex, masturbation and/or pornography? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- "A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps" by Patrick Carnes
- Alcoholics Anonymous “Big Book”, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions
- SA, Sexaholics Anonymous webpage
- Same-sex lust recovery in Sexaholics Anonymous
- Sexaholics Anonymous White Book
- SLAA, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous webpage
- SLAA Signs of Recovery
- SAA, Sex Addicts Anonymous webpage

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In this episode, Br. Yousef Salam from Canada joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about the online support group Straight Struggle. 

How did Straight Struggle evolve throughout the years from the "Yahoo!" to "Discord" platforms? What are the services that the online support group provides? What are the demographics of members who benefit from such services? These questions and others are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- Br. Yousef’s article, “From a Same-Sex Attracted Muslim: Between Denial of Reality and Distortion of Religion”
- Br. Yousef’ podcast interview, “I don’t view this as an identity”, on the BBC Radio 4 series “Muslim Pride”
- Straight Struggle website (Discord platform)
- Br. Mobeen Vaid’s article, “Can Islam Accommodate Homosexual Acts? Quranic Revisionism and the Case of Scott Kugle”

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In this episode, Br. Ali Jaffery from the UK joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about his organization, Strong Support, which aims to help Muslims experiencing unwanted same-sex lust.

What is the mission and vision of Strong Support? What are the services that it provides? What are the demographics of members who benefit from such services? These questions and others are explored in this episode.

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

- Br. Ali’s podcast interview on The Muslim Vibe
- Strong Support homepage
- Study: “Barriers for Muslims with SSA in Accessing Support”

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