A Way Beyond the Rainbow

With season 3, we begin a series of episodes that address different kinds of support systems and the ways they can help us on our journeys of growth and healing. In this episode, we address local support groups, including friends, family members and colleagues, and we answer some frequently asked questions. 

What are the different kinds of friendship with the same sex that one can cultivate, and what values do they have? Should I disclose my same-sex attractions to a close friend, and if so, how can I do that? What if I find myself attracted to a friend or member of my support group, how do I handle that? Should I disclose about my habits or struggles, bearing in mind that Islam promotes modesty and concealing one's sins? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

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In this season finale, my friend Amina joins me as a guest speaker to share with us her story, from same-sex relationships and marriage, being on “spiritual life support” as she calls it, and living the “progressive lifestyle”, to returning back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and changing her life for Him. 

*Trigger warning: the episode covers deep emotional topics like abandonment and divorce, as well as issues related to childhood sexual abuse*

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In our last episode on spiritual reflections, Hashim and I revisit the topic of repentance, and we discuss spiritual awakening, the characteristics of that station and some things to watch out for when we're experiencing the "highs" as well as the "lows". We also wrap up and summarize the spiritual themes discussed during season 2 of the podcast.

What is spiritual awakening and why is it temporary? How is it that a spiritual high is a test as much as a spiritual low? And how is this relevant in our individual journeys, particularly when dealing with same-sex attractions? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

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In this episode, Hashim and I talk about desires and shahawat: their different kinds, the wisdom behind them, and the many ways to help us curb them in our journeys, particularly for individuals who experience same-sex attractions.

Is it only Shaytan that whispers to us to inflame our desires? What are the different degrees of the nafs (self), and how are they relevant to our journey in life? What can be done individually and collectively to help us control our desires in a healthy manner? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

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In this episode, Hashim and I discuss the story of the people of Lut (PBUH) and reflect on many relevant themes, with a focus on our struggle as men and women experiencing same-sex attractions in this day and age who are committed to staying true to Allah and His deen. We tackle the topics of pride and remorse, the ways in which we may be similar to and different from the people of Lut (PBUH), how chastity is a cornerstone of our faith, and how grounding ourselves in Him and standing our ground for Him SWT is the way to go, inshaAllah.

If we were living in Sodom at that time, who would we be like? Why did God describe the state of the people of Lut (PBUH) as one of blinding intoxication? What are some practical lessons we can learn from this story that can help us in our journey, particularly in our current age? These and other questions are explored in this episode.

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This is a 2-episode series where my friend Hashim and I dissect the story of Adam and Eve, peace be upon them, as well as temptation and repentance and offer many reflections on how this story is relevant to us as men and women experiencing SSA.

In part II of this series, we talk about how to use Allah's provisions to repent and go back to Him, starting with remembrance and prayer, the importance of never losing hope or giving in to despair or shame and of reflecting on the mercy and love that Allah SWT bestows upon His creation. In addition, we discuss what may keep us from experiencing true submission to Him SWT on our individual journeys.

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This is a 2-episode series where my friend Hashim and I dissect the story of Adam and Eve, peace be upon them, as well as temptation and repentance and offer many reflections on how this story is relevant to us as men and women experiencing SSA.

In part I of this series, we go back to the origin of the creation of mankind: how God glorified man and destined him for greatness, how the devil lurks in the background and uses our desires against us, glorifying sin and temptation, and how Adam PBUH is a model for us in immediately going back to Allah SWT after falling into sin.

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In this episode, we explore together the concept of love for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, presenting the examples of two pairs of giants: David (PBUH) and Jonathan, as well as Shams and Rumi. Pure love between members of the same sex can be very profound, healing and uplifting, such that even poetry fails to describe its magnitude.

What was the kind of love that these two pairs shared such that its legacy still stands until this day? Were any parts of this love sensual or physical, or was this love spiritual and beyond? How can we cultivate this kind of transformative love? These and other questions are discussed in this episode.

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In this episode, we talk about gifts and talents, as well as Divine openings that come along with SSA. Whether spiritual openings, emotional intelligence or extraordinary talents across different fields, men and women with SSA have God-given gifts, which, when used wisely, can end up changing the world. 

We also explore some stories of men and women throughout history, among whom some had strong and platonic same-sex friendships, others had SSA and kept themselves chaste, while others, unfortunately, acted upon their desires -- from leaders like Alexander the Great and Emperor Hadrian and artists like Michelangelo and Tchaikovsky, to writers and poets like Emily Dickinson, Oscar Wilde and Virginia Woolf and scientists like Alexander von Humboldt and Alan Turing. We also examine the story of Ibn Dawud al-Zahiri, a Muslim scholar who himself had SSA and loved another man passionately, but kept himself chaste and lived a God-conscious life.

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In this episode, Aadam and I discuss the topic of attachments, fear of letting go, and sacrifice for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We dissect the story of Ibrahim, Hajar and Isma'il (peace and blessings be upon them all), looking at their trials from that particular lens. We also examine the statement of Tawheed (monotheism): "There is no god but Allah" from a lens of shedding all worldly attachments and redirecting things towards Him.

What are some things to which we are attached in this life, that leaving them would send us on a downward spiral? How does the statement of Tawheed involve leaving attachments and surrendering oneself? And more importantly, how does all this tie in with our experiences and struggles with same-sex attractions? These among other questions are answered in this episode.

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