A Way Beyond the Rainbow

In part II of our discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the topics of poor peer relations, social wounds, body image and the masculinity/femininity inferiority complex. We also go into the roles of society, media and culture, as well as the potential effects of separation from parents and negative events in-utero. The second half of the episode is dedicated to the topic of sexual abuse. We consider research findings, consider a personal account, and offer advice and take-home messages to survivors, their loved ones and the community at large.

Are feelings of inferiority and experiences of bullying associated with SSA? What roles do society and culture play in the development of SSA? Do events of sexual abuse and rape increase my chances of developing SSA? We will explore these and other questions in this episode.

*Trigger warning for victims and survivors of sexual abuse and rape. Episode also flagged for explicit content.*

Links to resources mentioned in this episode:
- The WHO Coronavirus Disease 2019 Main Page
- Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction
- The Battle for Normality: A Guide for (Self-) Therapy for Homosexuality

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In part I of a discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the extent to which genetics, temperamental predisposition as well as different family dynamics are associated with the development of homosexual inclinations. In addition, we talk about narcissistic parental relations and their impacts on children, the concept of defensive detachment as well as how homosexuality can be seen as a reparative drive. Is there a gay gene? Am I predisposed to developing SSA? What roles do my father, mother and siblings play in this? We will explore these and other questions in this episode.

*General trigger warning: Episode may evoke painful memories and emotional reactions.*

Links to books mentioned in this episode:
- My Genes Made Me Do It! Homosexuality and the Scientific Evidence
- Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach
- Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy
- Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction
- The Battle for Normality: A Guide for (Self-) Therapy for Homosexuality

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In this episode, my dear friend Sinan joins me to share his personal story. A journey from a place of complete darkness and devastation to a place of wholeness and peace.

*Trigger warning: episode includes vivid recollection of severe depression, death wishes and passive suicidal ideations*

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In the first part of this episode, I present some historical facts on changes within the psychological profession with regards to the classification of homosexuality. I also present some history about the gay liberation movement as well as popular misinformation circulating nowadays, with some scientific studies to disprove some of these misconceptions. Furthermore, we explore the palpable role played by media and pop culture in the confusion of today's youth, as well as the term "homophobia" as it is perceived today. In the second part of the episode, we examine the essentializing vs. non-essentializing paradigms and the difference between saying "I am gay" vs. "I have SSA", as we take a critical look at the notion of gay identity.

Links to some scientific studies cited in this episode:
- Health care problems of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender patients
- Effects of perceived discrimination on mental health and mental health services utilization among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons
- Sexual orientation disparities in the co-occurrence of substance use and psychological distress: a national population-based study (2008-2015)
- Embodying pervasive discrimination: a decomposition of sexual orientation inequalities in health in a population-based cross-sectional study in Northern Sweden
- Elevated empathy in adults following childhood trauma

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In this Q and A session, Aadam and I answer some of the questions and comments that we received by e-mail or came across on social media, with regards to the first three episodes, as well as the recent event that took place in Texas entitled, "LGBTQ+ Balancing Our Faith with Civil Rights" in which I was a speaker.

Links to sources mentioned in the episode:
- The Event at EPIC Mosque and Center

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In the second part of our two-episode series, Aadam and I continue the discussion on self-compassion, shame and vulnerability. In this episode, we talk about connection, shame, feeling worthy and a sense of belonging, vulnerability, and what it really means to be courageous, and then we tie all of these concepts to the struggle of individuals living with SSA. Do you believe you are worthy of love, connection and belonging? Is there a difference between the person you think you should be and the person you really are? Are you willing to remove your masks for a while and show your true emotions? These and other questions are addressed in this episode.

Links to sources mentioned in the episode:
Brené Brown's TED talk, "The Power of Vulnerability"
Brené Brown's TED talk, "Listening to Shame"
Brené Brown's Netflix special, "The Call to Courage"
Brené Brown's publications

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My dear friend Aadam joins me in a two-episode series where we discuss self-compassion, shame and vulnerability. In this episode, we talk about self-love and compassion, how these topics are crucial to our well being and growth, and the difference between shame and guilt. How do you treat yourself on a daily basis? What is it like with your mental chatter? Do you feel worthy of love? These and other questions are presented in this episode.

Links to sources mentioned in the episode:
Option B, by Sheryl Sandberg

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In this episode, I introduce myself and give an overview of the current global narrative, highlighting the scarcity of resources in Muslim communities to help individuals struggling with SSA and airing out some of the frustrations that most of us feel. I also give a glimpse into what the podcast is about, who the target audience is, and what to expect from this series.

Links to sources mentioned in the episode:
- Waheed's article
- Br. Yousef's article
- The Straight Struggle online group
- Susan David's TED talk, "The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage"
- Br. Ali's Strong Support foundation

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A summary of the goals of the podcast and a glimpse into the myriad of topics coming up in the series, inshaAllah.

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