Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality with Charisma Freeman

Visualization is the key to making our goals a reality. Even if its just a weekend with no responsibilities. Dream your dream and visualize it. Every last detail. Gratitude is also important. We need to be grateful for every gift we are given. It makes our recharge time so much more energizing. Try it this week. Be grateful and visualize your dream.

About Charisma:

Founder of Charisma’s Caregiver Coaching LLC, aka Charisma’s Care, 15+ years of medical experience as a Registered Nurse and Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner, Disability Advocate, Special Needs Mom, Educator, Medical Curriculum Developer, Certified Life & Wellness Coach Featured on 11Alive News, GMA, FOCUS, etc.

As an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner & Registered Nurse, as well as a Holistic Health and Wellness Coach. My specialty in disability and elder care in my medical practice. I am a proud mother of two beautiful children who I’ve raised myself since divorcing shortly after my son with special needs was born. During the time, I fought the medical system tooth and nail to uncover my son’s true medical diagnosis, while pursuing my Masters Degree in Nursing.

As I write this, my daughter is preparing for college to study Forensic Science and my son is thriving everyday despite his rare genetic disorder, KIF1A. I’ve also cared for my elderly grandmother for years until her passing 5 years ago. For fun I am first and foremost a Band Mom for my daughter, I fell in love with hiking during Covid-19, and I love to travel the globe. You can learn more about our family travels as a special needs mom in My Journal/ Blog. I talk about how you too can travel the world with disabilities.

I share this information because I know what it is like to feel alone, confused, and overwhelmed. To be at your wits end and not know if you will make it another day caring for your loved one. I’ve pulled myself from the bottom back to the top creating my “New Normal” and work everyday with clients just like you to do the same. We are the forgotten generation and it’s unfair. I am working to change this one client at a time.

 I SEE YOU!

 YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

YOU ARE APPRECIATED!

Over 15 years of Medical Experience

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

 

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (00:01):

Hello, and welcome to another episode of educational. This is our fourth episode of our mini series, caregiver, happiness. We are, um, welcoming charisma back charisma. Thank you so much for coming back and for your time and doing this, this has been fabulous. You know, we started out talking about, um, about why we want to, you know, why have your, why pursue your happiness, who we are? You know, we, we wrote down because sometimes we get lost in the role in which we are in right now. So we talked about who you are. We've talked about setting some goals, and then last week we talked about visualization. So today we're going to talk about making our dreams and reality how we can make them come true. So with that, I'm going to turn it over to you.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (00:52):

Hi, thank you. So we are back for our final week. Um, you know, I hope we've learned some things we've done pretty deep. We've done some visualization. We wrote down some goals, some dreams, and, um, we've done, uh, the gratitude journal. So if that's something you like, hopefully you've continued on with that. I find it. If I do the gratitude journal in the morning, it makes me happy and some days I miss it, but you're not trying to catch it, catch up where I can, but just throwing those things in there some days, even if it's two or three times a week, excuse me, can make a big, big difference. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (01:28):

Yes. And we all have stuff even, uh, we have bad seasons in life, but there's still usually something that we can look around and be grateful for. So that's something, you know, I would challenge everyone to be able to continue on is let's just be thankful because there's always somebody that is a lot worse off. If we've got our health, our relationships, you know, we've really got it. All the other stuff is pretty trivial.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (01:53):

Yes, I agree. So that was your homework. You know, we looked at some things to dream and be grateful for, and you probably started doing that homework and you were grateful and you were going through, and then you got today two or three, and something happened something out of the ordinary. You know, you may have had to rush to the hospital, a bad visit with the doctor, a new diagnosis. You thought you picked up this medication, you forgot to pick up the medication. The news came out with something else on COVID, you know, it was just something. And you said, this lady is crazy. I go have time to write down a gratitude journal and write something down every day. I don't have time for that. What difference is that making? But you know, you do, you do have time and you should, because it doesn't take long when you jot that down, because now your stress levels back up, your blood pressure and your heart rate are backup your stress. You're overwhelmed because see, that was just a dream, right.

Terry - AGEUcational (03:07):

Was

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (03:07):

Just a dream. And a dream is just a dream. And now you have real life stuff to do, and you don't have time to dream. But the problem is that we as humans, we look at things in these large chunks, we look at big picture. We have to break things down though, because our mind doesn't, it doesn't take in things in that larger picture as much. I don't think the doctors, when they go to medical school or the attorneys, when they go to law school, they think about man, I gotta be, I gotta be 12th grade. And then I gotta do these four years and then let me add these other four years. Oh. And then I have to do these four years of residency, because if somebody thought about the fact that they got, they have to do 20 years, they would never start.

Terry - AGEUcational (03:54):

Right. Exactly. You would never throw in the towel

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (04:00):

That's that may have wanted it to be this. It was probably those extra 10 years that we, no, I'm not doing that. You know, but for the ones that went to law school, they say, okay, well, I'll just get my bachelor's degree. Let me just do these four years. Okay. Now let me go to the next step and get that degree. Okay. Let me do these couple of years. Okay. Now I'm done with that. So let me go to the next step and do that because you had your mind to really take it in. You have to break it all down. You have to break it down to the simplest form. You know, when I talk to my caregivers, a lot of times they're like, I just want a weekend. I don't want to lie. I just want a weekend. Can I just go to the mountains for a weekend? Can I go on a girl's or a guys trip? Can I go fishing for a weekend? And that seems so unreal. It just feels like, Oh my gosh, you know the idea of going somewhere for a weekend, you know, I don't have anybody to take care. You know, if mom and you know, I don't know about the medications, you know, I'll I'll, you know, it's just so nevermind. Forget it.

Terry - AGEUcational (05:09):

Yeah. Or your hands up again. Yeah.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (05:13):

And it happens a lot, especially with my caregivers. It's just, Oh no charisma. That's not possible. I know I can't do that. That we were just writing net down. That wasn't for me

Terry - AGEUcational (05:23):

[inaudible]

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (05:27):

It was because it's your dream. And that's why I had you write dreams. But I also had you write goals because goals are achievable. And one of the things we do is we break them down into smart goals. We make them measurable. We make them obtainable, but then we also have dreams and we can continue to dream. So let's start a little bit smaller. Maybe we're not, maybe we're not going away for the weekend. Maybe we're not going on that fishing. Let's just start with a hot shower or a bubble bath. How many times do we just want a tea? I just need 30 minutes to an hour to take an uninterrupted bubble bath. How do I get that done? Yeah. Yeah. Something that small. So what we do is we go through it. Our goal, our goal is a bubble bath, very, very small goal for a person that doesn't, that's not a caregiver.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (06:29):

And they're like, what do you mean? Your goal is a bubble bath. You know, you're listening to us, we're listening to you. And I thought it was under not the staff, but they're listening to us. And you're like a bubble bath, you know, but know that that's major a hot shower, a bubble bath that's major. So what, how do we get to that point? That we'll have that hour? Because we're thinking about the word. What is, uh, you know, I may go in there and in mom may fall, you know, she may slip on the rug. Oh, she may go unlock the door and get out the house. Oh, Oh my gosh. You know what? If she messes something up, man, what if she goes in the refrigerator takes out something she doesn't need to have and she's snacking. Oh my gosh. What if she has to go to the bathroom? All of these things are reality. And then we're like, you know what? No, I'm just going to jump in and jump out a quick five minutes. No, no, no. Don't do that because we still want to take this bubble bath so easily. We have to be committed. You need the finger.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (07:43):

I was just thinking that the other day that, um, the, you know, the five minutes that I jumped into the shower, that's when the phone rings off the hook and people are knocking out the door, trying to get in. I'm like there are 23 hours in 23 and three quarters, other hours in this day. And everything has to happen within this one 15 minute time period.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (08:04):

Yeah. Yeah. And it happens. But you have to change your mindset. You have to change the way you think about things. You would have to say, I am going to take this bubble bath. I am committed to taking this bell bath. It is going to happen. So now we need to break. Now what we need to do, we first have to commit to it. When, when is the best time of day to take the bubble bath? Maybe mom gets up at night. She, she has sundowners. Yes, she's on. She's on her spirit. All she's, you know, she's on everything for sleep. We have the transit on it. Doesn't matter what we give mom. We gave her Seroquel. She's not sleeping at night now. It's not happening at 10:00 PM. Mom turned on the old school radio with the turn table. She's listening to music. Well,

Terry - AGEUcational (08:56):

We can't do the bubble bath then. No, but

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (08:59):

Know that at 10:00 AM, mom is knocked out. She is going to sleep.

Terry - AGEUcational (09:05):

Now tonight, I may not be the average

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (09:07):

Time people do a bowl bath, but we're not really average people.

Terry - AGEUcational (09:11):

That's right. Yeah, that's right.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (09:14):

We don't live those lives. So maybe 10:00 AM is the perfect time to do the bubble bath. You know? So first find that day in time and stick to that, know that that's when you're going to do it. So, you know, mom gets up every night, we'll let her get up. We're going to have a good time. We're going to go in the living room and we're going to dance to whatever is the BGS Al green, whatever it is. We just not have a good time with that night because we know that once mom is not, we're taking our bubble bath. So the next day we have to put the precautions in place. So of course, typically mom will be sleep, but let's go ahead and put these precautions in place. So we want to make sure about the safety, you know, um, I always tell people if you're you, you have a parent or, you know, a child that gets up at night, put a bed alarm on their bed so that when they get up, you'll hear it. You know, you'll hear it going off. So you're not always getting up looking, Oh, we say she up. Oh, I thought I heard, no dad was the cat. Oh. You know, was that,

Terry - AGEUcational (10:20):

So do that.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (10:22):

Um, for me, I do, um, the, what is it? The Alexa, the one with the video, uh, you, you know, you can do Alexa and you can call them and you can see them as well. So, you know, out say Alexa Le uh, let me see such and such room, you know, so I can see them through the video, or you could do a baby monitor so you can hear them, you know, so you can still take that bubble bath, put that monitor in there. And you know, the only way you have to get up is if you know, there's an emergency or you know, something of that nature, but now you created those things that make you feel a little bit more comfortable about this, you know, and thinking about what worked in the past, you know, when she gets up, you know, like if you have a child will make it up, if they do well with the tablet, now, we don't always want to give them the tablet, but you know what, this one time I'm going to sit their tablet next to their bed,

Terry - AGEUcational (11:24):

Grab the tablet, because this is my one hour

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (11:28):

I'm taking. So I've had a patient. Gosh, I've had patients that, you know, they worked in, um, they weren't nurse for living. So they like to call out orders and write things down. So I would give them a tablet. I have one, she was a housekeeper. So what I would do with her, you know, they, Oh, she's always pulling the tiles in the washcloths down, you know, she's always pulling them there. And I said, well, give her four of 'em give her four washcloths. So she had the four wash thought. She had a little bag that we kept on her wheelchair and she would take her washcloths, fold them up neatly. And then we put them back in the bag and then she take her wash and then she was fine. Oh, Ms. Charisma, no, we need to give her medicine, know it all. We just need to give her some wash cloths, you know?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (12:23):

So I would ask the family, what does she do? And this is how I work with my clients. And that's why I tell people, I'm not just a coach. I'm a, I'm a nurse practitioner. I've been doing this for years. So I think about these things find, you know, if they were a carpenter, you know, maybe we don't want to give them a hammer, but I mean, some of them are so, so sharp that they keep these skills because they beat him so long. You get him some wood, some wood glue and something else and just keep him occupied. You'll be amazed.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (12:52):

Yeah. I had a story of a, um, it was a guy that actually, he was in, uh, a facility, but what, for a long time they fought him off. He would come in there and say, it's time for me to go to work. He'd be agitated. I'm running late. And they were, uh, basically shoo him away. And, uh, not, uh, uh, I guess just not, uh, you know, go with the flow with whatever he was thinking. And so somebody finally had a good idea. So what they did is they got a briefcase and a little hat and put it in the nurses station. So when he came in there it's time for me to go work. They gave him the hat and the briefcase, he picked it up and he would take off and he would walk around, you know, three or four, make three or four laps around the building inside of course. But, uh, you know, then he was home and he was it got it out of his system, finished with work. Yeah. But in time. Yep.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (13:46):

Hmm. But you have to think about it. Most people work at their jobs or at least doing their occupation 20, 30, 40 years, and then they get older and you just took their occupation away from them. Yeah. So I always ask my families when they say, Oh, mom, I'll do this. Dad won't do that. My husband won't do this. What did it, what did they do during the day? What was their hobby? What did, what kind of work did they do? You know, get, give them what, as long as it's safe, give them whatever they did. And you'd be amazed, you know, um, had a patient that used to SOA, close, worked in one of the factory, so, and things up. So we just got her a knitting set, got her some yarn, yarn is inexpensive. You get some yarn, the little crochet needles. And she would just go to work. Every time I saw her, she would have something new. Right.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (14:35):

I might've brought her, some, my pants, I needed him.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (14:41):

Right. But you know, those little tid bits of information, those are the things that are going to buy us some time. Right. You know? So once we do that, we got that baby monitor. We do the bed alarm. We, you know, put on their favorite show. You know, I think 10 o'clock prices right. Comes on. If you can't get a shot, if you can't get a shower, bath door prices. Right. When I tell you, it doesn't matter what patient I visit at seven o'clock when prices riders on that see me is on prices. Right?

Terry - AGEUcational (15:14):

Yeah.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (15:17):

You know, those different things doing when they're at bed, if your, if your loved one gets therapy, you don't have to be at every therapy session. You know? And I need, that's. One of those things we, we don't think about is that that therapist is trained maybe the first couple of therapy sessions. But after that, when they come see my son for therapy or I'm going on a walk, right. Let me take this time to go on a walk. And if you need me, call me, right. Because you can get in touch with me because you're a professional, you went to school for this. You have to be first aid, certified CPR certified. That's an hour of therapy that is already being paid for. That should be tough for me. Exactly. Whether I'm walking, meditating, bath, shower, talking, communicating, whatever. So utilize those names. So once we utilize those things, Vala bubble bath,

Terry - AGEUcational (16:22):

The needs, right? Exactly. Yeah. The preparation covered your bases,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (16:28):

All of those. Yeah. All of those different things. And now we can accomplish it. Did it take us a little longer? You know, we can't just jump in like everyone else. No. But once we can think it through and we can prepare ourselves, then we can do those things and then we can work up to those bigger things. So we can, you know, I brainstorm with you, I work through these things with you. Like what can we do? You know, because everyone's situation, isn't the same, you know? So what can we do to make sure that we can get this time for ourselves? Because as we talked about in the beginning, it's not just about happiness, it's about happiness. It's about your health. It's, you know, it's about just you as a person, you know, making sure that you're going to be okay, decreasing that risk for Alzheimer's, you know, decreasing your blood pressure, your heart rate, you know, maybe you're diabetic as well.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (17:25):

We need to make sure that you're taking time out to eat properly and do those things for yourself. So this is a, this is a big picture thing. It's not just, you know, Oh, just be happy. You know, charisma just said, be happy now it's not, it's not just be happy. It's so much more. So, you know, it's taken a bubble bath, it's reading over that gratitude while you're sitting in the tub. It's listening to those rain sounds honestly, on your soundtrack, you know, all of those different things, it's doing some of that visualization that we talked about earlier, you know, and we can do this with the small things. We can do it with the goals. We could do it with the dreams. Yeah. We just have to put the things in place so that we can dream so we can think bigger. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (18:15):

Yeah. And the first part of that is that thinking about it, you know, we, in order to achieve it, we have to think about it set out those steps. And I like also that you said about the little things, you know, we went for a walk in the other morning. It was a little Chris, but there was just a smell in the air. And I just tell him, Tara, I said, how lucky are we to be able to walk and just smell that freshness and that crispness, uh, you know, like being a kid again, it was amazing. It was small, but it was still, you know, something that we could take joy in invigorating.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (18:48):

Yeah. Yeah. And you just need to start somewhere and you build up, you know, I know we have some bigger goals and some bigger dreams that we want to accomplish, but we just take those small steps one step at a time and we'll get there.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (19:04):

Yup. There used to be an old saying or no questions. Like how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time? You know, when you run a marathon, you have to put one step in, you know, one foot in front of the other one step at a time. So, uh, that's the way that we can accomplish all, you know, whatever we want to accomplish, whatever those goals and dreams that we have. I think, uh, you know, this has been a great series, uh, not only for caregivers, but for just people in general. I mean, we know, you know, why is our happiness important to us? And part of that is that self realization, you know, who are we, what, and then who are we in? What do we want setting those goals and then visualizing them. We talked about you, can't ever, you can't get to the end of the journey. If you can't visualize how you're going to get there, we've set out some steps to do it. And then also, you know, just that finalization of realizing our dream and how rewarding it is.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (20:02):

Yeah. And you know, the last thing is just to make sure you have someone that keeps you accountable, you know, because a lot of times we do kind of give up on these bigger things and, you know, we're like, you know, just forget it, you know, I'm not going to try it, but you know, just having something that accountability, someone that you can talk to and you can say, and they'll say, Oh, well, you know, we can try it again. We can try it again tomorrow. Yeah. So, yeah,

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (20:29):

Yeah, no, it's very important. And uh, we can all reach out, find somebody, you know, to be that accountability partner. It makes a big difference. I love, you know, I'm thankful for Terry and my life because she helps me, you know, when things are looking bad and I'm like, I can't go on. She's like, you know, it's all right. We're going to, you know, we had a piece of equipment problem the other day. And it was like, ah, yeah. I mean, it was, it was kind of bad for a couple of hours, but, you know, she was able to kind of talk me down off the ledge and say, Hey, we're going to get this. Let's step outside with the dogs for a little bit, take a walk, clear your head. And you know, sure enough, we came back and, uh, things are better than they were before with this new piece of equipment. So

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (21:12):

No, anybody, nobody strangled me

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (21:16):

Having that partner to reach out to, and, uh, you know, it kind of gets it's, um, there's a lot of things that all go together that, that not feeling isolated. If you feel like there's somebody, you can pick up that phone and reach out to, it makes a huge difference.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (21:32):

Yeah. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (21:34):

All right, charisma. Well, thank you so much for this series. It's been awesome. Uh, before we go, please tell everybody, how can they reach out and get ahold of you?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (21:45):

Um, I'm on social media, I'm on Facebook, it's the gram charisma care also on LinkedIn. And then my website is charisma care.com. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (21:56):

We will put all that contact information in the show notes as well, so y'all can reach out. Uh, you've also got a lot of great resources on your website too. So reach out, check out her website. Um, it's, it's important. We've got to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. Can't drive that home enough. So, uh, our wellness as caregivers is, uh, it's vital because you have to think about if we run ourselves down and we're not around to take care of our loved ones, who's going to do that. So, uh, let's do all we can to, um, to improve our wellness and our health. All right, well, that's going to do it for this first mini series. I think it was great. We've got some good, actionable, uh, items that we've been able to take away each week. So we're looking forward and maybe we can talk charisma to coming back and doing one more for us.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (22:50):

Okay. [inaudible] all right.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality (22:56):

Well, that's going to do it for this episode. You can find us, of course, at www dot [inaudible] dot com. We're on all the major social media platforms and videos of these interviews will be up on our YouTube channel as well. So until next time, take care of yourself and take care of your loved ones. Bye.

 

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health with Joy Poskozim

Who would have known all the problems that can start in the mouth? It's really amazing to think our oral care can cause brain, heart, and lung issues. It's also a shame that we don't fund more dental programs for the elder. As we age it becomes much more difficult to get out to go to a dentist. Take the time to practice good oral hygiene and visit a local dentist.

About Joy

A 1999 graduate from NYU  College of Dentistry, Dr. Joy V. Poskozim  completed a General Practice Residency (GPR) in 2000 and started practicing general dentistry in Gramercy Park in NYC. 

Dr. Poskozim opened her own general practice in her hometown of Chicago in 2006.  She started practicing geriatric dentistry all over Chicagoland in assisted living communities, memory care homes, and those that have chosen to stay at home in 2008. 

"Dr. Joy" earned a Fellowship with the Special Care Dentistry Association (Geriatric Council) in 2020, and her CDP (Certified Dementia Practitioner) in 2021.

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (00:01):

Hello, and welcome to another episode of educational I'm Roy I'm Terry. So what we want to do is not only Chronicle our journey, but we want to talk to others going through the same journey. And we want someone to talk to professionals that can come on and help us all through this journey. And so today, uh, we're fortunate enough to have joy POS schism. Pascoes hope I got that. Right. So, uh, I'm sorry. Joy's is a 1999 graduate from NYU college of dentistry. She has also completed her general practice residency and 2000 and started practicing general dentistry in Gramercy park, New York. She opened her own general practice in her hometown of Chicago. In 2006, started practicing geriatric, geriatric dentistry, all over Chicago land in assisted living communities, memory care homes, and those that have to stay home in 2008, Dr. Joy entered a fellowship with the special care dentistry association, uh, geriatric council in 2020, and her CDP certified dementia practitioner in 2021.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (01:16):

Wow. That's an awesome resume joy. And I would like to, uh, also get, I got a couple of these, the initials after your name, the DDS doctor of dentistry, the F S C D fellowship the fellowship. Okay. And then the CDP is the, a certified dementia practitioner. So awesome. Thank you so much for taking time to be with us and welcome to the show. Welcome. You know, what really, um, it's a funny story. How we met, actually, it was on Instagram. I was looking through posts, but you know, what really stuck out was not only the ju the geriatric practice, but also that you take your practice into the communities and into people's actual home. I think that is such an awesome thing because transportation can become such a barrier, not only for dentistry, but for seniors and getting people, you know, really anywhere they need to go.

Dr. Joy (02:15):

No, it's absolutely true. And, um, you know, it, it doesn't really affect you until it hits your own backyard, so to speak. And, you know, with my, you know, it started with my grandmother and, you know, she needed a new, lower personal venture. And my, you know, I'm five 11. And so she's my height, my bills put a horrible sciatica going down her right leg and, you know, children and, and countless grandchildren eager and willing to help her, but she didn't want to move off her comfy chair or her easy chair or heating pad or in her public television. And she was good to go because she also wasn't eating, you know, she wasn't eating and she was beginning to lose weight and it was getting to the point that she really should not have been losing weight. We got to the point where one would say now failure, failure to thrive.

Dr. Joy (03:04):

Um, and so, and it wasn't like she was in any pain with her mouth. They said that she didn't have the proper amount of teeth to have a full diet. And so she was beginning to, you know, um, uh, have more liquids and, and, and we were really relying on that, ensure that I'm sure we're all familiar with. And unfortunately as great as insure is, is simply just not enough. And she actually began to grow tired of the flavors. So because she was using it all the time and which can also happen. So fortunately she was 10 minutes from my office. And so I went to her and made her a lower partial denture. And I remember inserting it on a Friday. I, and the great thing about making dentures and doing this, um, in someone's home is that it's all palliative. We don't need to worry about the teeth.

Dr. Joy (03:54):

We don't need to worry about any medications that they're on. All we need to worry about is whether or not we can take impressions so that we can use those impressions as templates to make the dentures. And I have to say 90% of the time, no matter what kind of, uh, medical, um, case a patient or a resident is, we're pretty much able to take an impression, especially if they've had dentures before, because there's that muscle memory there. Um, so anyway, we made her a partial denture and, uh, she went to church on Sunday and she went to see her ladies afterwards. And when she talked, you only saw her lower teeth. And when she spoke, she was so excited to be there. Cause she hadn't seen her women's Guild in a long time. They're like Janette, you've got your teeth back. And she said, well, you know, my granddaughter goes to people's homes.

Dr. Joy (04:43):

So if you need her, let her know I'm Lily unbeknownst to me. And so I get a phone call that Monday, someone took her up on her offer and, uh, and you know, said, can you do that for my grandmother, make a long story. Short went, you know, never really thought about it, but okay. Um, the story goes, she's, you know, stroke victims two years completely, you know, um, not speaking, uh, and they, they were noticing a smell from her mouth and to make another long story short, she had dentures, they were brushing for dentures twice a day. So once again, similar situation, fellow parishioner, wonderful family, countless grandchildren, eager and willing to help. This is not due to neglect. They just didn't know what they didn't know. And so, you know what, no, she didn't tell, she didn't tell anybody. She did very formal woman and very quiet.

Dr. Joy (05:38):

She was a widow at this point. So maybe her husband knew maybe the grandfather knew, but he has passed by this point. And no one knew. And I mean, the amount of caregivers that have seen her by this point, no one had learned to lift up the upper lip to see if there was a line there to show plastic or drop the lower lip to look for the same thing. Yeah. They were literally brushing her denture. Now, granted youthful injuries. Let me tell ya, she paid a fine, you know, she paid a guide price for those, for those Dentrix, but at the same time, no one knew. Yeah. And so taking those dentures out, you can imagine what was underneath. We had to get some medications in, involved in, I had to get the medical doctor involved because of some serious issues that were beginning to form underneath those dentures.

Dr. Joy (06:26):

Considering it had been two years and she was eating, she did not have a tube. She was eating so food, you know, she was able to consume food and it was, it was, uh, fortunately was a, um, a situation that could reverse. But at the same time could totally been avoided. If someone in that path of her getting better, had the wherewithal, the knowledge, the education on oral care, on what to look for in case someone does or does not have deanships. And that's what really created my advocacy. And my career trajectory took a complete 90 degree Jaron on promoting and taking care of seniors, especially as seniors who can't communicate with us, we're trying to find secrets to potential problems. Yeah. Problems.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (07:14):

That's awesome. I think that, uh, you know, not only that it changed your career trajectory and you're able to help these people, but, uh, the other thing I wanted to bring up quickly is the communication. We talk about that, uh, communication sooner rather than later, while it's a corny thing to think about, it's good to talk to mom and dad before they get in a bad position. Like what, uh, you know, do you have a pacemaker? You know, some things like you said, maybe, uh, we would know because they were in a hospital and had done, but like dentures. So make it go, the dentist, get that taken care of. And maybe a child wouldn't even know, or if they lived out of town, uh, wouldn't have been there for that. So there are a lot of reasons why it can happen, but I think we just need to stress. The communication part is not only for that, but, you know, for other things, medications, uh, so many things, but anyway, have the conversation, write it down.

Dr. Joy (08:09):

Absolutely. And also, you know, have your power of attorney now. I mean, if you are the loved one and you're the power of attorney, I mean, are you strictly medical power of attorney or are you medical and financial power of attorney, are you? And if you are a medical power of attorney, that includes dental. So that information has to be provided to the POA in order, um, in order to make sure that sound, um, sound, uh, adjustment judgements have to be made, you know, decision you need for someone for their loved one. Yeah. I had a situation where I was going into a, uh, an assisted, a long-term care community. Um, and, uh, she had, uh, early onset Lewy body dementia. So she was no longer communicative once again, notice order, ah, they were brushing her teeth, um, except they weren't her teeth. They were all on four, all on four implant supported dentures and it wasn't there.

Dr. Joy (09:04):

It was all on four implants, all on four implants. So she had a total of eight implants, four on top four on the bottom. Beautiful. Once again, nutraphyl work beautiful dentures. Um, when the, uh, when she was entered into the home, um, in order to handle it financially, they actually had legally divorced so that she could financially be in that home, which we hear quite a bit. Well, he kind of took the ha the ex-husband kind of took that to the extreme and kind of just fell off the face of the earth. And so no one, they were not able to reach him at this point and do not know how to get ahold of him as well as find out what's going on with her medical care, as well as her dental care. So once again, lifting up the upper lip, it's going to be a common theme, lifting up the upper left is what's going on.

Dr. Joy (09:56):

And it turns out that she did have these beautifully made dentures, and I had to show the caregiver, um, and then also to help show, you know, the next shift and then the third shift, how to take them in and take them out and clean them. And they can be cleaned and taken care of just like any other denture. But once again, we don't know what we don't know. They didn't know that she had dentures. And it turns out that the, she was actually became a ward of the state. So there was a guardian put into, um, uh, into place for her. The guardian knew, but the, but you know, they were trying to get ahold of the ex-husband. So it's, so I, you know, to make a long story long, there is so important to make sure that there's at least one person in your corner who knows what's going on, not just with your mouth, but with your eyes, your ears, the rest of your body. It saves so much time and money in the long run and could save a life. Yeah,

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (10:48):

No for caregivers. Um, maybe you could just give them a tip if you come in, somebody is non-communicative or if you just, if they can answer whatever the reason when they initially brush those teeth, what, what are some, you know, I guess it's simple, just lift the, lift their lips up and look, but they could probably take their finger and run on the gum line, or basically that's something that probably needs to be done sooner rather than later, just to make sure that somebody hadn't forgotten that they had dentures and, uh, you know, run into this, make a bad situation. Even worse,

Dr. Joy (11:23):

Well said, well said. Absolutely. So what I try to recommend is is if there's going to be somebody who, um, is going to be entering a home or is going to be staying in place, but now is going to be receiving care that an oral health assessment is provided. Now, there are, um, with the activities of daily living, um, there are unfortunately oral care is not listed specifically. So some places are better than others and some agencies better than others in helping to promote oral health care. There's also fear of being fixed. So that is another concern as well. So if someone is trying to take a look and they don't know how to do it right, they haven't learned the methodology in order to do that. So you don't get hurt. They're going to avoid this at all costs, or they, if they know someone who's gotten back or, you know, they're, um, they're just afraid of the mouth.

Dr. Joy (12:16):

In general. I was in a situation yesterday where, um, it was a stroke victim, minor speech. She was getting better. It had only been, it had been less than a year since his stroke. And, uh, upper denture had lost a bunch of weight. The denture no longer fit. And the daughter was at her wit's end because he really wants, again, cannot lose any more weight. So, um, contacted me great news. It was a great denture. It's a beautiful denture, but it's too loose on him. It literally was falling out. And what is kind of interesting is that the denture is actually resting on a page, Donald terminology here, buccal fat pads. So we're not only when we lose weight too. We lose weight in our bodies. We can also lose fat in our mouths. And so when that happens, there's no there's space. Now that fours between where the gums have receded or condensed on top of the bone and where the denture used to sex, we can rely on that.

Dr. Joy (13:12):

We can rely on the denture, we can rely on the partial denture. Um, and so that was an, you know, that is, you know, great news that, you know, they were able to do that. Um, but you know, fortunately for the family, everyone was on board. Everyone could tell that, you know, what was going on. And we were able, you know, I took the impression yesterday. We should have it back in about two weeks, but what I was also looking for for signs and symptoms of certain issues to be concerned about is dry mouth. The mouth can be incredibly dry and there's actually two ways the mouth can be dry. And that was by quality of saliva and quantity of saliva and a quantity. We noticed more often. And that's where anybody who can become dehydrated right, have become dehydrated. We're not producing as much saliva as we should be under normal circumstances.

Dr. Joy (14:02):

And so we feel dry. It's the quality of saliva that becomes a big deal for our seniors, because they may have some resting saliva in their mouth. They may be producing some saliva, but the unfortunate thing is it might be thick and Roby and maybe mucusy and, and not as clear as it should be. And it's not really doing its job. It's what is our saliva is supposed to allow us to help break down food so that we can swallow. What it also is supposed to do is help us speak and is, and also to help move things around in our mouth. So if we don't have a whole lot of saliva, the stuff that normally is, you know, floating through our mouth, you know, our oral bacteria and such, they'll kind of stick to the teeth and that becomes a problem. And as well, tongues can stick to the roof of the mouth and that could be a problem. And so I'm looking for, you know, for looking for dry mouth, um, I'm looking for what kind of, what kind of appliances they may have in their mouth. I'm looking for any discolorations of routine. I'm looking for swellings, I'm looking for Adam assesses. I'm looking for, I'm looking for pimples. Um, you know, these are the things that I'm looking for that can become a truly serious issue. That can be a hundred percent avoided it properly taken care of and have caregivers know what to look for. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (15:21):

Yeah. And I think that the, uh, you know, another reason we were so excited to get you on here is I don't think, um, most common people understand the magnitude of problems that can start in your mouth that can lead to, and I'll let you talk into this, but I know heart disease is a big one that it can lead to that. Um, also if you don't get your plaque taken off timely, that it can actually start rotting your job bones. I mean, anyway, I'll let you talk to them.

Terry - AGEUcational (15:56):

So this makes me love you even more

Dr. Joy (16:01):

Well. So it's kind of interesting. The term black is a general term and plaque in the mouth is, is bacteria bacterial poop because they're living things, they poop to bacteria, bacterial pooping steps that you could digest it. I swear to God. And I talk about this all the time. And even to littles, I have two little girls walking out of my office because not only do I go into the homes, I also have a brick and mortar. And by the end of the appointment, those two little girls who are four and six they're bugs,

Terry - AGEUcational (16:32):

That's hilarious. Oh my God,

Dr. Joy (16:36):

Got it. We got to start young. We got to start young. Um, but anyways, so, um, the that's what plaque is for the mouth. And that's where we're brushing twice a day. You know, I ask people of all ages, you know, why do we have to brush her teeth? And I'm going to have to say 90% of us don't know. And I wouldn't know if I hadn't gone to dental school, which is a shame, right? There's not enough information out there that's readily available that we actually want to read, you know, about oral care, right. Bacteria, bacterial poop, and excess, if they don't get digested. So there's, there's that plaque, right? I'm going to actually start with the brain because the plaque, the bacteria piriformis, ginger Vollis, um, that causes, um, oral bacteria of, or it's part is one of the bacteria that causes plaque.

Dr. Joy (17:26):

The main one can cross the blood-brain barrier and those with compromised immune systems, and now help trigger the plaque deposits in our brain can start, um, the plaque deposits that are synonymous almost with Alzheimer's right, be early onset, um, dementia, which is incredibly scary. Um, NIH, the national of health came out with this huge study that just came out last year, July of last year, that has proven this. It is, it is, there is research out there and now it has been defended that we now know that this occurs. So yeah. So piriformis, Jinja Valez horrible. Horrible is just, it's unbelievable. And it is what it is, but the bottom line is less plaque here, less bacteria, less bacterial migration to the brain. So that's number one.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (18:17):

No, that's interesting that you mentioned that because just this morning I was reading an article on audio and it said that people that have lost some hearing are 200% greater or greater risk to get all timers as well. So I just think it's interesting of these things that nobody's really ever talked, or I haven't heard about, you know, starting in the ears or starting in the mouth that can actually, uh, you know, I guess maybe exacerbate the Alzheimer's process. That's unbelievable. Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I just thought that's

Dr. Joy (18:53):

Not at all. No, this is the conversation. Absolutely. Um, the next one would be, I'm going to say the lungs so oral, so oral bacteria migrate, we'd be, I'd consider it. Um, I think, well, I tell my patients that is due to, um, overpopulation. They want to spread out there are still during the research on the why. Um, but suffice to say that 85% of bacterial pneumonia is oral bacteria. Wow. So yeah. Very small. Yeah, very scary. So the, the bacteria that decides to Trent, you know, to travel outside of the mouth can get into our lungs, wonderfully oxygenated, wonderfully moist, warm, great environment for them to grow and a great place for bacteria, for the bacteria to help create the pneumonia that can ultimately for those ones again, with compromised immune systems death. So yeah, so very scary. And then the third one would be once again, you know, we've got plaque in the mouth plaque in the brain, right?

Dr. Joy (19:56):

And now we've got plaque in the arteries, which can then lead to the heart. So for those that have certain heart conditions, um, it's not all her conditions for food, certain heart conditions they're required to prophylactically or before dental appointment take antibiotics. And it's called prophylactically because it's helped to prevent any issues. It's not that they already have an infection is to help prevent an infection. And it will be anything from amoxicillin it's one hour before, you know, if you're allergic to amoxicillin, it's another type of antibiotic, a broad based spectrum antibiotic that is taken beforehand before dental cleaning. And some of my residents, you know, will still be, you know, require this. It's not age dependent. It truly is a heart condition dependent. What can transpire and don't carditis endocarditis. And the endocardium is the inner layer of our heart. And if it's muscle layer of our heart and if it becomes inflamed, um, then we're looking at potential chronic heart disease, heart failure, um, and potentially once again, unfortunately death. So we, especially for those with, um, pacemakers and with stents, they really want to make sure that they prevent any bacteria or bacteria foreign bacteria for that part of the body to create, you know, a home or subdivision or community.

Dr. Joy (21:17):

Um, and so we're prophylactically providing this antibiotic for them. So that, that prevent, that prevents that from happening. So oral bacteria can penetrate into our brains, our hearts and our lungs, and even more reason why taking care of the mouth is a literally taking hero three vital organs.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (21:36):

Yeah. And the basics, I guess, even before we get that far off, is that a lot of people that, um, have teeth problem, it hurts them to eat. So like you were saying, they don't get the nutrition or they, uh, may be, if they don't have any at all, they can't eat solids. So again, getting the protein and things, they have to make adjustment. So this is such a serious, um, the mouth is such a serious thing that, and I know that, you know, this in a probably will set, set you off when I say this, but yeah, no, just that, just that, um, as we get older insurances, Medicare, Medicaid, it's different everywhere, but in general, we tend to pay very little attention to elderly's mouth health. And it's just unbelievable. I, I, you know, and it, I used to think it was terrible before, before you just told us all these other things about, you know, the, the brain and the lungs, but now it just, it's even more that, you know, we're missing a very big component here in providing care to our elderly, that we don't take care of this to ensure because it just, um,

Terry - AGEUcational (22:48):

To reactionary thing. I mean, it just, if it's, if you don't work on the preventative part of it, I mean, you're just reacting to however you take care of it. And it's an emergency situation by the time they see you.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (23:02):

Yeah. Well, and it's serious because of some of these things, the heart disease and the brain, for sure. They're not reversible. It's like once we let it get to a certain point, it's just too late to, to do anything about that. So anyway, I just, uh, it's amazing. I, I will say that. I mean, I'm actually speechless, you know, after hearing that one thing I was going to say are asking you about is my dentist recommended. So I've got the little cool flossing mechanism. I can't use regular floss for some reason. It just difficult, but I've got that the, um, it's got like the little horseshoe on it where you stick it back and do it's good. But, um, they were still finding some plaque on me. And so they recommended, I use this gum stick. It's the little, uh, it's just like a rubber toothpick almost, but even after you floss, then you do this thing.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (23:57):

It's been tremendous because I can't, this is gross sounding, but I can't tell you, like, after I, after I eat, but after you eat, you know, eat some popcorn and you go do the regular floss, I'm very surprised at the stuff that still comes out when you use the little gum sticks. It's like, so for all these years, you know, we think we've been doing enough, but, um, you know, uh, I'm a novice, I'll let you decide if people should use it. But I think it's a recommendation that people should know about it. It wasn't that I was opposed to using it. I just didn't know any such thing existed. And I think that's been a topic or theme that, uh, you know, me and you have had with Terry in our previous conversations as a lot of this stuff is, it's just, we don't know what we don't know

Dr. Joy (24:47):

Exactly, you know, with the case that I had yesterday with the relining of that denture. Um, she's a, she's a very holistic person. You know, she is very concerned about what, you know, she's putting into her own body, let alone into her father's body. Um, and so she had found these bamboo based toothpicks and she figured because it was bamboo, it was fine for the mouth. And I had to very politely for professionally and firmly say, no, absolutely not. Because unfortunately, even bamboo can, can splinter, right. He bites down on it because he's now watching TV and he's not paying attention to his daughter, or she gets distracted or whatever. He has six teeth left on the lower front teeth. So we're only really concerned about getting the spaces in between those front teeth, where we have the best access to. But once again, unfortunately, you know, he is, you know, he's not fully cognizant and he might not fully respond to her requests or, or commands if you will.

Dr. Joy (25:48):

And so I also had to recommend something very similar to what you're talking about, you know, a gum based product, a gum as the name of the company, Sunstar, um, company, where they made these amazing they're called interproximal cleaners. Interproximal in between the approximation of the, of the walls of the teeth, right. You've got this triangle area and we want to get in between there because our teeth are curved, right. They're not like they're like this, right. So we want to get up in there between the teeth and the gums. Why? Because that's where the bacteria live. I mean, we wanted to make it like it's a hurricane twice a day in our mouths every day we re, you know, when I made me want to make it, like, it's so disruptive for the bacteria that they come up to the surface, and now we are rinsing and spitting and, and, you know, getting rid of, you know, all that extra bacteria and plaque that we can see because we have to remember something and I have to remember it too.

Dr. Joy (26:41):

Bacteria is microscopic, right. So if we can do it, ideally is bacterial poop. So if we can see this stuff, you can imagine the trillions of bacterial colonies that have created this and how long it's taken to get there. Yeah. And I also too, it's, you know, this is a chronic condition, right? Gum disease is chronic. It's not acute. Meaning was, it's only happened in the last three to five days. That's a big problem. There's a huge similarity between gum disease and diabetes, because for the first, you know, few years, potentially, you're completely asymptomatic. You don't, you don't have any issues. You don't have any pain, you might not have any inflammation or you figure, you know, every once in a while you brush your teeth and it'll go away and you're fine. And all we add, the gums are Pinker again, and yam drinking more water, Woohoo.

Dr. Joy (27:29):

But if we're not consistent about it, then, then those things will begin to build up. And then when you do have pain and you, you know, I would be called in to take a look at it. This is something that I would have liked to have seen three years ago when this person was first decided to stay in place and with the first diagnosis of dementia. And when they first had an agency come in, you know, I, it would be very wonderful, ideal circumstances is that I'm called into right. So we've got the nurse practitioner coming in. Maybe we need some physical therapy and occupational therapy after a stroke case. Um, but we're also calling in, we're calling in audio and we're calling in dentistry because, um, we don't know what we don't know. And if these things aren't being assessed at the very least, um, then potential problems can occur.

Dr. Joy (28:21):

And I think that's a problem across the country is not just in one part is from East to West coast, North to South is being able to address all the cities, all the problems once again, to prevent problems. What's that old expression, a stitch in time saves nine. Yeah. Right. You know, you can nip it in the bud. Um, that's use another colloquialism. Uh, you know, if we can, if we can truly, you know, catch these things when they're small, so much easier to deal with completely reversible and a whole lot less expensive this man.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (28:56):

Wow. Yeah. And it's just something I know it gets harder as it, as it's a difficult to transport people. And I think that's the, you know, the beauty of your practice or part of your practice is being able to deliver that care to where they are. So I, I guess, you know, I would challenge people to let's, don't forget about this oral care, look out in your community and see what resources are available. There may be other traveling people, but, uh, the other part is find programs if you don't have it on your insurance, because I know that becomes a worry, uh, you know, people are running short on money when they get old. So, you know, eating and paying the rent or top of mind, we tend to let other things go. So, you know, reach out and see what resources are available, because I know that every profession has people that try to help other people that don't have the resources for their services. So I would say that you're going to be able to find something, but it's just a, I think the oral care is something we just can't forget about. Really. We should never forget about it. You know, we're, we're speaking to the, the elderly audience and their caregivers and adult children of course, but this is something that really from birth, you need to get on it and stay on it because it just, it can create a lot of problems for you, you know, even at younger ages as well.

Dr. Joy (30:18):

Exactly, exactly. Right. And you know, it starts at the, with your own dentist, right? And so you start asking questions from the own dentist, you know, and if the dentist doesn't have the resources, then it's usually what they recommend doing is contacting like a RP, you know, because that's across the country and they can be a very big help in, in, uh, finding resources, uh, for those that, um, you know, that require that kind of help because yeah, medivacs are fairly expensive, especially if they have to go up the stairs and then go down the stairs. I mean, I've had situations that prior to me, before them, they find me that they're literally calling the, the fireman in certain towns too. Cause you know, smaller towns to, to call the fireman, to come get the person, to bring them to a medical appointment or a dental appointment.

Dr. Joy (31:05):

Now this is of course pre COVID. This is before telemedicine has become so prevalent. Right. And tele dentistry. Um, but once again, you know, I had a patient who chose to stay in place, had her medical appointment. It was, it was telemedicine. So he's, you know, pretty much it's the phone, you know, and he's, he's got the, the daughter's got the phone and everything. Now, if he was there, he might've looked down her throat, but she chose not to open her mouth at that time. And, and the daughter didn't feel comfortable in touching her mouth. Yeah. So, you know, fast forward, I now have to, I pull out 18 from this woman. I mean, so yeah. So, you know, there's a wonderful thing about telemedicine. There's a great thing about teledentistry too, but it's, it's, you know, boots on the ground actually being there and, and being able to communicate with this person I leveled, I love, you know, eye to eye being at their same eye level and, and having that extra time to really communicate like we were just talking about earlier being, having that communication and those communication skills so that we can provide as much cure as possible during that time.

Dr. Joy (32:11):

Um, that is, that is absolutely huge, but yes, going to the dentist first, you know, asking for help from that dentist, you know, do you know anybody or have any resources? The great thing of now is that we've fed do have social media, right? Yeah. And so there are Facebook groups that we, we talk to each other all our time and in our closed Facebook groups. And so there'll be a post, you know, at some point, you know, saying, Hey, you know, we really need a, we need a mobile dentist or a house called that I noticed in Alabama, you know, who can help. And so then we have got our groups and we one person when we network all that stuff. And so their information is out there. It's just a matter of knowing who to ask. So those are the two things Dennis or ARP are great resources and trying to find someone in your area to, um, provide that type of world here.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (32:57):

Yeah. Let me talk about the misconception of, uh, you know, kind of getting back to dentures. Maybe there's a misconception that, uh, my mother has dentures, so she really doesn't need any oral care from now on I, and I would assume that is a very misconstrued misconception that even if we don't have teeth, if we have dentures, we still need to have our mouth looked at just to make sure nothing else is going on in there.

Dr. Joy (33:21):

Absolutely. Oh, I could not agree with you more. It'd be the problem is that if, if the dentures aren't being taken care of appropriately, so if, if the, you know, your grandmother was taking their denture for dentures in and out every single day, and all of a sudden she's not doing that anymore. And the dentures are being left in that is a problem. Um, and if you don't feel comfortable in taking the dentures out, then find someone who does feel comfortable in doing that. And hopefully a nurse practitioner, a physician assistant, a PA, um, a dentist, a dental hygienist who, you know, makes house calls will, will feel comfortable in doing that for, for your loved one, because you don't want to let them sit because it's stuff in their wool. Right. And get that thrush. Right. And what is thrush that is a fungal infection that wants to get is completely preventable if the dentures are being taken out every night.

Dr. Joy (34:08):

Um, and so it is, it's crucial that, I mean, even if they're sleeping during the day, you know, if they're having a morning nap and an afternoon, nap is perfectly fine to leave the dentures in, but not over night. And another problem that we see too, is that they'll take the dentures out. Let's say, because it's just, once again, muscle memory is ingrained in them. They'll take the dentures out, but now they're sitting on, you know, they're sitting on a table or something. We want to make sure that the dentures stay wet. The, the, um, the plastic, the acrylic that is used for the dentures are required to stay wet because, um, over time, if they stay dry, the material can actually become riddle and it can either a chance of fracture. So you really want to make sure that, you know, if when the gingers come out there and sitting in, if nothing else just water is fine, it doesn't, it could be tap water. It doesn't have to be distilled just regular, old water, as long as it's sitting in something. So that those, those, those dentures, the acrylic stays moist and, um, it's will be safer, uh, the next day for the dentures to go back in. Okay.

Terry - AGEUcational (35:10):

Well, we also, sorry. We always thought as kids, that Papa was just terrorizing us with his chompers and the, and the glass and the water, you know, just trying to make it, Oh, here you want some water. Okay. There you go. Now I know.

Dr. Joy (35:27):

Well, I mean, isn't that a great life lesson of what can happen if you don't take care of your mouth? I mean, seriously, you know,

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (35:34):

About that. Uh, what about the denture care? Is there, if you put it in the glass, do you, is there a tablet, a cleaner you throw in there just brush it or kind of what's recommended for that?

Dr. Joy (35:46):

Absolutely. So soft toothbrush, the acrylic is just as capable of, of getting, you know, having problems as, as the teeth do. So definitely soft toothbrush. Um, and then the tablets are fine. I don't care. What brand do you use? It's all pretty much the same as I'm going to be pretty much a former Bart carbonated soda. Okay. You know, and in a tablet form, I would not use baking soda. That's too abrasive for sure. Um, even the Arm-in-Hammer toothbrush or toothpaste, excuse me. Um, waterfall toothpaste. Great. For some people not good for dentures too. Abrasive also charcoal. The charcoal toothpaste has gotten to be very popular once again, not recommended or for dentures, partial dentures, complete dentures, not recommended for plastic teeth. Um, it's just too abrasive for them, but yeah, having them sit in, um, I have some patients too, um, that once again, they, they're trying to be more in a more holistic, less chemicals.

Dr. Joy (36:40):

Uh, one part hydrogen peroxide, just that typical Brown bottle of hydrogen peroxide that you can get at any pharmacy, right? One part hydrogen peroxide, two parts, water. Um, and that is a wonderful whitening agent, right. And as wonderful cleansing agents and what a blend is aseptic. One thing that I would not use is any alcohol based mouth finishes. Alcohol is a drying agent. I am totally pro alcohol. I just don't want alcohol. I don't want alcohol in my, in my mouthwash. Um, yeah, because it's going to dry out that plastic and over time can, once again, help it break. So you're like, well, gosh, you know, I had it, I kept it in something water is better than, than an alcohol-based mouthwash. And also just as an aside, a lot of the generic, like the target or the Walmart brand, or the Walgreens brand mouthwashes tend to follow the Listerine formula. And, and the Listerine is 26, 26 to 28% alcohol, depending on which, uh, flavor or which color you get. So, and not all Listerine products are alcohol based, but that being said, it is safer if you have the choice between a Listerine product and water, choose the water.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (37:53):

Okay. So what are some signs, uh, you know, we've talked a little bit about, of course pain, or maybe a smell coming from the mouth, but what are some other signs that somebody may need to seek immediate, uh, dental care?

Dr. Joy (38:07):

Absolutely. Um, an abscess or was, would be known as like a Whitehead or a pimple, um, on the inside of the mouth. So between the cheek and the teeth down in the gum, in that neck of the woods, okay. Usually not painful. So like a canker sore, or a cold sore that's viral. We know what causes that, you know, that'll go away. Eventually those things that are painful in the mouth when it comes to the gums, usually not so much of a problem is the ones that cause pain. Once again at the gum line that are things that we need to be concerned about, because what happens is bacteria has gotten in there and bacteria are smart until they're stupid. They get to a certain point where they can't breed oxygen anymore. Right. They need to breathe oxygen. And so they're trying to find a track.

Dr. Joy (38:52):

They create their own trapped to out to the outside where they can get some oxygen again, so they can start breathing. And, and so they'll also create this, like this capsule around them. So to stay healthy, once again, you know, you, you are their living organ, you know, the organisms, they, they, they're very adaptive. And so they will create this bubble around themselves to protect them. And that bubble is your abscess. And if you burst it, it's going to potentially be smelly. It'd be paused to have ooze. You know, it could be yellow, it could be Brene, it could be great. It could be Brown. Um, and, and one might think, Oh, well, I'll just have them rinse and they're going to be fine. And the answer to that is a big note because unfortunately, if we pop that thing, just like if we popped a zit, you know, I mean, I'm sure you've heard the horror stories of, you know, someone had to be hospitalized because of bacteria went internally and then the face blew up or around the eyes or whatever.

Dr. Joy (39:44):

Literally the same thing can happen in the mouse and going to also happen to mouth as well as on the skin is sepsis, right. Which is the infection of the blood due to bacteria, which once again, be can a hundred percent prevented, um, if properly taken care of. And we, if you see one of those, you know, those, those bubbles are those, those zits are those white heads inside the mouth. You don't want to touch it. You definitely want to call a medical care provider. Um, ideally a dentist, because then we can re evaluate, put on antibiotics first to help make sure that the infection stays local. And then unfortunately, whatever tooth that's assigned to it, then we would have to take the two. Yeah. The good news is once the tooth is gone, once the source of the problem is gone, that thing's not coming back, that absence is not coming back.

Dr. Joy (40:34):

The source of the problem is the tooth. Okay. So a lot of times, if that thing has been there and, and, and this can change depending on the dentist, but usually for me, if I find out that this thing has been there for about, for 72 hours or longer, I want to make sure this person has been put on antibiotics. Um, also usually they have a compromised immune system, even more reason for that, but I want to make sure that if there's any additional bacteria that's going around, I want that shrunk. I want that localized. I want a compacted. I want to get rid of all the extraneous stuff so that when I actually go in there and I do take the tooth, we don't have any post-op problems, you know, you're down the road. Yeah. So that is a very serious issue that we definitely want to make sure that we don't have, um, uh, that we don't have, period.

Dr. Joy (41:20):

Another problem is loose teeth, you know, especially for those that can communicate with us, but you don't want them choking on them. I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but it's happened, you know? So we want to make sure all of, you know, they'll fall out eventually. Well, yes, potentially, but they're not children. Yeah. You know, they're not baby teeth, you know, when a baby tooth falls out, the root has completely shrunk. We're looking at a, maybe a three millimeter. I mean, you know, quarter of an inch to a quarter, I mean really tiny little he's that can't cause a problem to anybody. Right. They're meant to keep us integrate adult teeth. That is not the case. When an adult tooth is loose, you've got a full root there you're, you know, you're yeah. You're looking at something that's going to be, you know, it could be, it could be choked on let's put it that way.

Dr. Joy (42:06):

And so we don't want to wait and see on that. That is another situation where the dentist really needs to be called. Usually antibiotics don't even have to be involved, but those teeth have to be taken. Cause we wanna make sure that the airway stays. Right. We want to make sure that we don't have a choking hazard. And unfortunately that can be, and that's my edit, take those aides out on that other woman, because they were horribly loose. Um, she wasn't closing her mouth. Right. It was, yeah. It was a serious situation. She's great. Now she's much, much happier now, but yeah. At the time it was pretty bad.

Speaker 4 (42:39):

What about chip teeth? I mean like chips for some reason. Yeah.

Dr. Joy (42:45):

Yeah. And you know, and that happens. That happens a lot, especially for those that are clenching and grinding. And for those that are on dementia medications, like the, um, government, um, yeah. Uh, you know, you have that horrible grinding that can occur. And the, and, um, you know, eventually teeth will chip, you know, I'll be honest with you. If it's not bothering them, I kinda leave alone. I can use a, um, a drum role-based, you know, drill bit just to smooth them down. And there's also handheld air driven, you know, um, high-speed hand pieces or drills to help smooth those teeth down. I don't like to take a tooth unless I really have to. Um, especially because it's so traumatic for the body and so traumatic for the system, uh, I'd rather be able to work with what we have and if it's, you know, based on a situation where, um, you know, I'll be perfectly Frank, if it was my own mother, she chipped a tooth. It's not sharp. She's still leading fine. She's smiling. She doesn't even know that it's occurred. Um, I'll leave it alone. You know, sometimes less is more, you know, if the patient is not aware where it's not affecting their, you know, their, um, self-confidence right. Um, and it's not really bothering the mouth or causing any problems or, or, you know, potential health hazard or a source of infection.

Dr. Joy (44:05):

I leave it. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (44:08):

A lot of things that we've talked about revolve around bacteria in the mouth. I think it's also, I'll let you reiterate the fact of that morning brush. You know, a lot of times we have the misconception or what I've been told anyway, is that, you know, our morning brush is not to really remove a lot of food particles. It's more to remove that bacteria that's built up overnight in our mouth is that

Dr. Joy (44:29):

I preferred after breakfast, after breakfast. Yeah. What we're trying to get rid of the junk that we haven't swallowed after a meal period. So if we can brush after breakfast and after dinner or slash before bedtime, you know, as per our lifestyle, that that's really the best thing, you know, if someone wants to their mouth out now, we'll see, this were those that have have dry mouth, right. What I'd recommend is, is an and I please understand, I am not sponsored by anybody by anybody, but, but Biotene B as in boy, I O T E N E Biotene. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful product. Y number one over the counter. So it's economical. Number two. It is swallowable all Biotene products are swallowable from the toothpaste to the mouthwash, to the gel, to the spray. I think they have lozenges. Now. They're all swallowable, they're meant to be swallowed why it's pH neutral.

Dr. Joy (45:26):

So I want to fit the tummy. Number two, it will help coat, not only the mouth, but the back of the throat, where if someone wakes up with chronic, um, dry throat, a sore throat, because they're not producing enough saliva, then the Biotene is a great product. Cause the way I tell people to do is to put it on their bedside table. And so they will have it on their bedside table and yes, water is important, but then you got pee 20 minutes later, let's be honest, you do a swig, right? And you just swig up the Biotene. That's not going to happen because the majority of it won't even reach her guides. It's coating the back of our throats and it, and it stays, it lasts longer than water. Water will evaporate, but this won't. And so I tell them to do a swig of it before they go to bed and do a sweep of that in the morning. So yeah. So when they first wake up and the great thing about it is it's got an additive effect. So the more often you're using it, the better it works. Okay. So, yeah, so that is something that I truly recommend. First thing in the morning, if someone has, you know, um, chronic bad breath or usually due to dry mouth, um, then doing a speak a bat is, is perfectly safe. Absolutely wonderful. Clear as the pallet, have some water, have your breakfast rush out here.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (46:36):

Okay. Awesome. So let's get back for just a minute. I know we need to wrap up, we're running long on time, but I have a couple of questions about the, um, well the, I guess the timing of care, if there is nothing wrong, do we still keep that on the same six months or as we get to a certain age, do we need to shorten that or LinkedIn?

Dr. Joy (46:59):

That's a great question. The American diabetes association recommends that, that patients get oral care oral exams three times a year, not just twice a year. And the reason why is because those that are diabetic, um, are more prone to oral health issues and they happen a lot faster. So, so those that are diabetic, it is strongly encouraged. And I see all my diabetic patients, regardless of how stable they are, whether they're taking insulin or not. Um, they are all being seen three times a year period. Okay. And, but other than that, for those that have teeth, even if they just have one tooth, there's still a source of a problem. I will see them every six months. Unless of course they need to be seen more frequently because it's too difficult for the loved ones and the caregivers to, uh, provide proper oral care. Yeah.

Dr. Joy (47:46):

And that happens even with the best of intentions that does happen. Um, and then, um, I also, for those that are completely edentulous, that are completely without teeth and that have dentures, I do strongly encourage for me to take a look at them once a year. Um, once again, it is a lot easier to realign a denture when it just starts to get loose. Yeah. Then in a situation like, like for example, for this particular stroke patient that I saw yesterday, he had this stroke in September, he's been slowly dropping the weight. It's only within the last month that they've noticed that he can't wear the denture perfect time for me to come in and help and help to, uh, you know, change that, change that outcome for them. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so those that have dentures, I still recommend having them looked at checked once a year to make sure there's nothing. And once again, not to get too gross, but nothing's growing inside the denture plastic was porous. Um, as well as, you know, there's nothing going on in the mouse. Uh, we want to make sure there's no where for sets. We want to make sure there's no, um, potential wounds because of the denture, just because it might be rubbing too hard on the mouth, the one that's. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (48:54):

And then the other question would be, so somebody that may be non-communicative, or that may not be totally with it, you know, if a caregiver is brushing their teeth, is there something that they can do they need to look in, or maybe even get one of those little mirrors? Or what do you recommend for those in the in-between in-between visits

Dr. Joy (49:15):

And in between visits? No, absolutely. You use the best you do the best that you can with what you got. Quite honestly, if you can, only, if they, you know, the first is punching and the only law this, then your brush, you only brush the front of the teeth. Yeah. If you can't get the inside, you can't get the inside. The, the effort has been made. So if you can, you know, a, a very common thing that we can do is that we're, if you run, if the person does, if they got curious slips, if you lift up the left and then good as your hand around, you can try all day right. On me or you can't. So if your hand is out like this or out like this, and now you can get the toothbrush in there and rush away. Right. Fantastic. And if it's 30 seconds over two minutes, if you've got 30 seconds, then that's a win, that's a win.

Dr. Joy (50:02):

So you do the best you can with what you got Waterpiks are very, are very nice too. Especially the, the, um, the handheld ones are waterproof. So if they're in, you know, uh, some kind of like a shower, you know, you know, being taken care of that way, or they can be brought in, so they're not creating too much of a mess. Um, water, Waterpiks the professional water, flour, oil flossers from water. Um, yeah. Water, fantastic products. Fantastic. To get in there as well. It can make some, a mess. Sometimes they don't really like it, but, um, that's another really great way to try to get in there. Uh, but once again, to be, do the best that we can just want to be consistent about it. We're trying twice a day.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (50:41):

Is it just water or is it one of their products that you use?

Dr. Joy (50:46):

Ray question. I really liked the one part hydrogen, one part hydrogen peroxide, two parts water. It's safe. It's effective. It's cheap. Okay. Gums, love it. Not anymore. Any, not any stronger than that though. Becomes too much of a good thing. So yeah. So one, one to two, one to two, one to two. Yeah. One part, two parts.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (51:06):

All right. One last question. And we're going to let you go. I promise. But two toothbrushes. I know there's been a big move to, uh, the battery and now they have a lot of rechargeables, uh, better. I mean, I know anything's better than nothing, but if we have, if, if we have the choice of getting the electric better, worse about the same.

Dr. Joy (51:26):

Great question. So, yeah. So 85. Um, so there was a huge study that went out, um, suffice to say toothbrushing with a manual toothbrush. We're not, we're usually brushing for a full two minutes, even over as opposed to, it only gets rid of the 70% of the Gunther in your mouth. So now you got to floss the other 30% dependent on floss, the electric toothbrushes it's been proven time and time again, since the late nineties that it gets rid of 85% of the Duncan. So yeah, so that is a significant difference. It's still a reliant on our flaws at 15%, I will say, however, that those that do have dementia and it doesn't really matter in this situation, what type of dementia they have maybe excluding Parkinson's. They, um, really don't like the feel of the vibrations in their mouth. They don't, you know, they're beginning to not even like being, having feeling water on their skin.

Dr. Joy (52:14):

Right. I mean, they're very temperature sensitive. There is, there's a, um, there's a, an avoidance and aversion to that. So as much as we would try to want to use the electric toothbrush, because it's so much more efficient and because it does such a thorough job, there's a really good chance that they're not going to want it, especially if they've never used one before. Right. They'll have nothing to be able to compare it to. They're not going to understand, unfortunately, so sometimes you're better off using something that they're familiar with, which is a soft regular toothbrush. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (52:42):

Well, awesome. Well, uh, before we go, any last parting words or anything else that you'd like the audience to keep in mind as we close up on that?

Dr. Joy (52:53):

Yeah. Um, if you have a loved one or you are a loved one yourself, and you are noticing, uh, an oral issue, chances are, um, it is a pretty common one. You're not the only one. So please feel free to reach out to me. I hope that you'll be, provide my information so that they can reach out to me the best way of email. The best way of getting ahold of me is by email. Um, and I welcome questions and concerns. I want it to be a resource. We'll give you a

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (53:26):

Chance to put all your, uh, your information out there. So what is a tool, um, something that you use may not be, uh, or related, but a tool or a habit. What is something that you do that really adds value to your day? Either professional, personal, um, like journaling or an app. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry.

Dr. Joy (53:52):

That's okay. My that's a really broad question. Why do I, well, now that the weather's getting better up here in Chicago, we are my husband and I are trying to walk more. Okay. Um, yeah, so I, I really, I miss walking. I lived in New York. I lived in Milwaukee, you know, never had a car walked everywhere, was forced to walk everywhere, loved it. My body loved it. Um, now that we live in the burbs and you know, I drive everywhere now and, and it's not, it doesn't feel good on me. You know, walking is so much better. So, uh, walking is, is something that helps, um, clear my mind and, and being, you know, being on a nature, we're looking forward to going camping. We love to go camping. So that's something that was the we're looking forward to doing. And I, you know, now that we're both getting, you know, I've been fully vaccinated and my husband will be vaccinated. Um, we're looking forward to doing that. And, um, this being one with nature. Yeah,

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (54:48):

That's good. We love, you know, taking that walk for me. It just, it really clears my head and it scares Terry when I come home, because I usually have a whole page full of ideas or things that, you know, I've thought about when I, when I've had a chance to really think and get, Oh my God

Dr. Joy (55:05):

Cameras. So I can take more. I take more pictures for my Instagram posts. And the last time I took my camera out, it was still too buried out here. I'm like, no, I want to spring. This is not spring. I'm hoping today. Maybe I'll see some green.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (55:19):

We have got some green starting to come up here. So it's not too far away. Not far away. Yeah. Well, Dr. Joy, thank you so much for taking time. And I know we ran way over, but it's been such an awesome talk and we appreciate it. So tell everybody not only, you know, kind of who you can help, how you can help them, but what you can do for them. And then of course, how that they can reach out and get ahold of you. Yeah.

Dr. Joy (55:44):

Fantastic. So yeah, Dr. Joy post goes in joyful dental care. I'm based in Chicago and I go all over the Chicago land area. However, if you need a resource and you're having a difficult time finding one, please feel free to reach out to [email protected]. That's joyful with one L [email protected]. Feel free to reach us at the office to at (773) 736-7767. But yes, email is the best way of getting ahold of me directly, even though it says office, that sounds very professional, but the email, the goes to me directly. So feel free. No, that'll be safe. You'll know that there'll be HIPAA-compliant and, and there will not be any, uh, problems with privacy. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Your Oral Hygiene Relates to Your Future Brain, Heart, and Lung Health (56:31):

And we'll be sure and put all that in the show notes as well for you. Excellent. All right. Well, thanks a lot. So y'all give Dr. Joy a call, especially if you're in the Chicago land area. If you have a loved one that can't get out, let's get everybody really need to start thinking about oral care. Um, it's so, so important for us to live. You know, one of our new phrases that we use as we don't want to outlive our wellness. And so, uh, getting the proper oral oral care will certainly help with that too. So that's going to do it for another episode of educational. Uh, I'm Roy I'm Terry. I need to go brush my teeth. Yeah. We're both going in there and brush our teeth. Now. I was just sitting here feeling bad hope you can find us, of course, at www.educational.com. We're on all the major, uh, social media platforms as well. And we are on all the major podcast platforms, iTunes, Google, Stitcher, Spotify. If we're not on one that you listened to, please reach out. We'd be glad to get it added. So until next time y'all take care of yourself.

www.joyfuldentalcare.com
www.ageucational.com

Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals with Charisma Freeman

We need to visualize our goals if we want them to come true. We have to see ourselves succeeding at whatever we want to achieve. Visualization can also be used as a stress reducer. Close your eyes and visualize your happy place. How does it feel? Cold or hot? How does it smell? What do you hear? This technique can transport you away for a minute

About Charisma:

Founder of Charisma’s Caregiver Coaching LLC, aka Charisma’s Care, 15+ years of medical experience as a Registered Nurse and Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner, Disability Advocate, Special Needs Mom, Educator, Medical Curriculum Developer, Certified Life & Wellness Coach Featured on 11Alive News, GMA, FOCUS, etc.

As an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner & Registered Nurse, as well as a Holistic Health and Wellness Coach. My specialty in disability and elder care in my medical practice. I am a proud mother of two beautiful children who I’ve raised myself since divorcing shortly after my son with special needs was born. During the time, I fought the medical system tooth and nail to uncover my son’s true medical diagnosis, while pursuing my Masters Degree in Nursing.

As I write this, my daughter is preparing for college to study Forensic Science and my son is thriving everyday despite his rare genetic disorder, KIF1A. I’ve also cared for my elderly grandmother for years until her passing 5 years ago. For fun I am first and foremost a Band Mom for my daughter, I fell in love with hiking during Covid-19, and I love to travel the globe. You can learn more about our family travels as a special needs mom in My Journal/ Blog. I talk about how you too can travel the world with disabilities.

I share this information because I know what it is like to feel alone, confused, and overwhelmed. To be at your wits end and not know if you will make it another day caring for your loved one. I’ve pulled myself from the bottom back to the top creating my “New Normal” and work everyday with clients just like you to do the same. We are the forgotten generation and it’s unfair. I am working to change this one client at a time.

 I SEE YOU!

 YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

YOU ARE APPRECIATED!

Over 15 years of Medical Experience

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (00:01):

Hello, and welcome to episode number three of our first mini series, caregiver. Happiness. We're going to welcome back charisma from Christmas care. Thanks for joining us again, charisma.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (00:12):

Thank you for having me. So this

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (00:14):

Has been awesome. So episode one, we talked about why pursue your happiness, uh, really who we are. And then in the second one, we talked about setting some goals and talked about, uh, happiness and the endorphin, uh, the chemicals that are released, there are four of them that can make us happy. So doing things like being kind, um, having gratitude, uh, all of those things, getting a little exercise, we need to do those things to help our happiness. And then today we're going to talk about visualizing those goals that we wrote down. And again, we encourage you to, uh, send a, uh, Instagram or a text or email, however you can reach out to, uh, send us, uh, maybe some of your goals or some things that we'd even be glad to hear. Some things that you're struggling with. Maybe we can provide you some, uh, thoughts on how to get around that. But anyway, I'm going to let charisma take it over here and talk about visualization.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (01:12):

All right. So last week, yes, we talked about our goals and gratitude and all those different things. So we kept a journal for a week, a gratitude journal. Hopefully we wrote some things down. We wrote down at least one thing that would make us happy. And we wrote down some goals. Uh, we wanted to dig deeper into those things that you've dreamed of doing that you may have put on hold or, uh, things that you never finished, you started, but you never got a chance to finish them, or even a dream as a child that you had that you never really thought you can accomplish. You know, when we're younger, we, you know, we want to be an astronaut and, you know, fly to the moon. Somebody actually accomplished that. I'm sure there are some people that became astronauts, but all of us did not become astronauts.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (02:01):

You know, maybe you wanted to dance that Julliard. Maybe you wanted to play the violin and never got around to it. You know, just whatever it is that you really thought about. So, you know, I just want you to dig a little deeper and today we want to just visibly visualize some of these things. So I want to take a moment. Have you close your eyes and just picture that dream? So where you are right now first, what does it smell like? There is it fresh cut grass? Um, do you smell the salt from the beach? What, what are the smells that are there with you now? The next thing, what do you, what do you see? Do you see the IC tips of the mountain? Cause you're going hiking. Uh, did you go to New York city and you see the statue of Liberty? Are you looking up at the clouds?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (02:51):

What do you see there now? What sounds do you hear? Are the birds chirping above you? Is it a ripple from, you know, is there a ripple there? Do you hear the sound of the stone that was thrown into the pond? And then lastly, what do you feel? Is it chilly air that's blowing through your hair? Is it sand in your toes? What is it that you're feeling here? And what is that emotion? Is it happy? Are you excited? Are you a little sad? Are you sad? Because you're so happy. You know, are you crying? What is that emotion that comes to you when you're in this place?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (03:37):

Now start to allow yourself to drift away from that happy place and come back with me back to this moment in time from this stage dream, you go open your eyes. And so it's not reality. It was just a dream yet. If you check your heart rate or your pulse, it slow down your breathing, it's slow down. It's not as rabbit rapid. Your body has relaxed. It literally feels like you were in the destination just based off of this simple vision. And this is one of the tools that I teach my patients. It's not all about, always about where we go and the money that we have and all of his time, just taking a minute or two to visualize that happy place.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (04:33):

Well, and you know what they say? You have to visualize it in order to get there too,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (04:38):

Right? Yeah. And that's the next thing.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (04:42):

Wow.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (04:45):

Imagine if you could actually achieve this goal and the effect that it would have to your body and to your mind and see your spirit, you know, it would just be so uplifting, you know, because when we don't do the things that we want to do or the things that we love to do, and we don't allow ourselves ourselves to have these experiences, a part of you just kind of whittles away, right? Because you're just there. And bit by bit it's, it's draining you, it's causing you to feel tired, empty, and sometimes even numb. But you know, when you allow yourself to dream and you let your imagination run wild without restraints, when you stop saying no to every experience, every time a friend calls you say, you want to go out for a drink? Well, no, I can't do that. Oh, okay. Well, we're going to go walk in.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (05:38):

Do you want to walk around a neighborhood? No, I don't have anyone to help me. Oh, okay. Well, you know, do you want to do such and such, you know, eventually our people start friends stop asking, you know, and then we get lonely. And then we wonder, we say, and I've caught myself saying this. I wonder why no one calls me to go out, you know, have I just, you know, and when you're in the thick of things with your, your family or your friend or whoever you're caring for, you don't really think about all of those things. But then when you're not in the thick of things, you just kind of looking around like, Oh no, one's calling me no one what's wrong. What's wrong with me? Right. It may have been the last week I was gonna say, I got some of those.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (06:34):

It was like that. I don't call them. I don't answer their calls because they may, uh, you may end up in jail,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (06:39):

Hanging out with them, got to be careful [inaudible]. But then, you know, just those little things, those little goals, those little dreams, you know, just getting away a few minutes. I have a client that said on Saturdays, he just goes to the coffee shop for an hour. That is his getaway. And that helps him with his sanity. Just those little things. We, you know, yes. Our job is hard and yes, what we do requires a lot of us, but we have to find a way to carve out those little things. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (07:24):

And it's going to be a little different for everybody. You know, I like, uh, picking up a book sometimes that can kind of take you away or calm you down, or even just taking some deep breaths or getting out for a walk. But, um, yeah. There's so many things that we can do to kind of get us in that place.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (07:42):

Yeah. And with the, with the epidemic that we've had with COVID, what we found is that even the people that weren't stuck in the house that are now stuck in the house had to find a way to make changes. You know, it's amazing the things we can do on YouTube, cooking show, yoga, exercise, you know, so many different things. So you want to allow yourself to dream and you want to let, like I said, look at imagination, run wild, you know, find out what,

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (08:18):

Oh, excuse me. I was just going to interject it. And it doesn't have to cost a lot. We found we are not real shift people, but we like food. And so we found a cooking class or Terry did that. Uh, it was free. It was online. It was about six weeks long every week they made, uh, you know, kind of a cool dish, but there's so many resources out there available. I just want to challenge people. You know, if you really have a passion, you can find something that even you can probably put participate from home.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (08:55):

Yeah. So, you know, that's one of the things that I really focused on our lights are focused on getting people to start dreaming, start thinking about those things. Again, it doesn't matter how old you are. It doesn't matter what your situation is. There's always a way that we can kind of work around those situations. And we're going to talk about that next week, you know, because it's a lot of things that make us say no as caregivers, but there's ways that we can work around those. So really start dreaming. You know, let's, let's kind of put our laundry list to the side of the things that we have to do because yes, we do have to pick up the medications. We have to go to the doctor, you know, the money. That's always a factor or lack thereof because you know, we're not all working or we're working part time or, you know, there's just different things that affect that the time and the energy, your health, uh, just having a decent person there that can help you, you know, so you can get away.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (09:53):

So those are things that, you know, we'll talk about, but right now let's just dream, you know, because it's, so children dream all the time, they have the biggest dreams, right? When you were a child, you had all of these dreams, all these things you wanted to do. But then as an adult, people don't dream. People ask me, charisma, how do you go hiking? And I'm like, I don't, I don't understand the question. You know, because it's something that I found during the pandemic that I wanted to do. I was losing my mind in the house. Right. And a friend said, we should go hiking, mess it. What?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (10:33):

I didn't hear you. Right. And she said, yeah. I said, well, I guess we can try it. And you know, I went with her because I had nothing else to do in the middle of a pandemic. And I fell in love with it. I found that I love hiking and I have hiked every weekend ever since. Wow. Understand my family knows. Yeah. They know that on Saturday, I need about an hour to two hours first thing in the morning because I'm going hiking. That's the only time I need is that time. And we found a way to carve it out, you know, before my daughter goes to work, we carve out that little time. And that is just my me-time. And sometimes if I don't have a sitter, I take my son, me the wheelchair now, and my son go right up there, right up a mountain that is wheelchair accessible that I can hike. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (11:38):

Awesome. Yeah. And I think the, uh, another good point there is we need to not be scared to try new things because had you not tried that you may not have found your love for that. And if we're physically able to get out and do things, uh, try some new stuff. That's that that'd be something good. We'll try some new things,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (11:59):

Try something new. Maybe if you can't go out with the friend that asks you to do something, maybe even ask them to come over, make sure to have a COVID test. [inaudible], you know, maybe even have that cup of coffee on zoom.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (12:19):

Yup. You can make it happen. All right, charisma. Well, we appreciate you again. Uh, so let's kind of put this together. Our first episode, we talked about, uh, why pursue your happiness and who you are. The second one we talked about, you know, some goals and then this third one, we've talked about visualization and you know, I'm going to tell you never too old to dream. I still dream. I still have a lot of things I want to accomplish. Some of my dreams may be a little out of my reach. I, I realized that, but you know, it's still, it's fun to think about, you know, what we can do with our life if we really want to. So, uh, anyway, next week, we're going to talk about, uh, the dreams, the reality of, I guess, achieving our dreams. Is that correct?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (13:04):

Yeah. It's turning those dreams into reality. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (13:07):

Okay. So awesome. Well tell people how they can reach out and get a whole hold of you in the meantime.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care Coaching (13:14):

All right. So I'm on social media, I'm on Facebook and Instagram and LinkedIn charismascare. And, um, my website is charismascare.com. All right,

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 3 of 4 - Visualization is Key to Achieving Your Goals (13:25):

Well, that's going to do it for another, uh, for the, uh, third installment of our mini series, caregiver, happiness, we look forward to, uh, you tuning in again next week for our fourth and final episode. So until next time, this is Roy Carey and you can find us of course, at ageucational.com. We're also on all the social media platforms, as well as, uh, the videos of this series will be up on YouTube as well. You can find us at iTunes, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, or other major podcast platforms. If we're not on one, you use, please let me know. I'd be glad to get us added until next time. Take care of yourself and take care of your loved ones.

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

   

How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy's Can Help You Age Better with Joi Abraham and Yadi Alamin

Do we make it complicated? Are we looking for big, complicated theories for why we have bad times. Like when we get sick, we blame the medical system. Um, the beginning of Asian medicine starts with a book called the yellow emperor's classic of internal medicine.

About Joi and Yadi

Yadi Alamin was severely ill in 2000. The medical drugs he was prescribed made him sicker and he contemplated suicide due to pain and emaciation. Yadi’s mother recommended he get acupuncture. Yadi got more than that.

He credits the acupuncturist for saving his life. Yadi learned Eastern Traditional Healing Arts and Exercise and has been helping people since his recovery. Charlotte Reflexology opened in 2012, and has grown since training Joi Abraham to work in clinic.

Yadi is the apprentice of 3 Master Acupuncturists,  a six-time Certified Reflexologist, and a Tibetan Medical QiGong Therapist. He has 18 years clinical experience in Traditional Chinese Medicine, No Needle Acupuncture, Reflexology and Medical QiGong for Serious Conditions.

Yadi was diagnosed with a potentially fatal disease at 24, and learned how to heal himself without surgery, drugs and a cocktail of herbs. His philosophy is simple “do what works, and do it often.” He has had clients recover from a host of ailments using QiGong, Reflexology, and food-based methods.

www.charlottereflexology.com

www.charlotteacubodywork.com

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (00:01):

Hello, and welcome to another episode of ageucational. This is Roy. So we are a podcast that we started to not only journal, uh, Chronicle our journey through aging, but also our parents and not, uh, you know, the situations that come up for them solutions that we may have. The other thing that we do is we do bring on professionals that are, um, you know, can help us through the aging process, can help us during the aging process and maybe even help us, uh, age, better do some things earlier in life. And so today, uh, we are blessed to have a couple of guests with us. I'm gonna let Terry and make the introduction.

Terry - AGEUcational (00:39):

Yes, we have a couple of practitioners from Charlotte Acu Bodywork formerly Charlotte reflexology. It's a unique alternative therapy based therapy clinic. Based in South park of Charlotte, North Carolina, they combine ancient Asian healing systems and modern technology to relieve pain, decreased stress, and help the body to heal their methods. They use different types of reflexology, Meridian therapy, and chigong using the three aspects to healing, diet, exercise, and manual therapy. They work with their clients to not only improve their health, but to enhance their quality of life. I'd like to welcome Yadi Alamin and Joi Abraham to the show. Thank you so much.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (01:24):

Hi guys. Thank you all for being with us and taking time out of y'all's day. We certainly appreciate it. And look forward to talking with you.

Yadi (01:32):

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens during this. [inaudible],

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (01:40):

I've had a rough start to this podcast, but thank you all for hanging in with us. And, uh, yeah, we just wanna, you know, kind of get, y'all's take, uh, we are interested, you know, in the Asian and Eastern philosophies, uh, because I think it's, it's more than just the, the medicine part. I think it's a general, uh, yeah, it's holistic his thoughts, you know, how we think and perceive and, um, you know, we, we were talking a little, we thought we had a really good conversation going as I'm going to kind of jump back in the middle and say that, you know, uh, you know, part of it we were talking about is just the stress of living and making things simpler. Uh, you know, we talked about, I had interviewed again for a different podcast and, uh, he had been to another country that lived very much poor than we do or what we consider to be poor.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (02:31):

But he said, the one thing that he noticed is that they were happy beyond belief with their very simple life and that he was just reflecting upon all the, you know, material, things that we think that we have to have to make us, uh, make us happy, which actually can probably add stress and take a lot away from our life in general. So we'll, we'll kind of jump back off in there. And, uh, Yachty was telling us an awesome story about some banana farmers. We, we can pick back up where wherever in that conversation that we need.

Yadi (03:05):

Okay. Um, before I say anything about the banana farmer, I was saying something yesterday on, on Facebook about how we're very complicated and we've tend to look for like big, complicated theories for why we have bad times. Like when we get sick, we blame the medical system. Um, the beginning of Asian medicine starts with a book called the yellow emperor's classic of internal medicine or a founding Dean aging. And the first question is it rude that people used to live over a hundred years? Um, why did they die at 20 and 30 now? And the answer was, they lost touch with nature, right? Like even in the story. And my joke was that, like, we only have conspiracy theories about like bad stuff, like when, when we get sick, but it's like those, the medical system, when the weather's bad, we go, Oh, they're controlling the weather, but when it's beautiful outside and it's sunny and there's a nice breeze, we never go, the people are enjoying bad things, but really it's a disempowering cycle that we just have to take control of ourselves.

Yadi (04:17):

And what you mentioned about, uh, psychological well-being or emotional wellbeing, physical wellbeing, these all take, uh, a piece of it, you know, and they're equally as important. It, it doesn't make any sense to be in the shape of your life, but you're depressed all the time. Right. You know, or we're on the simplicity of life. And I think you were talking about the story of the banana, right? So there's this, there's a guy in the Philippines, uh, who runs a banana farm. And his cousin from New York is visiting. And he's, he's like eating. Yeah. He's like eating a banana, go with, Hey, you can make millions selling these bananas. And the guy's like in his hammock sitting back like, mm, tell me about it. And he's like, well, you know, we reach out to the grocery chains and give them samples. We set up a distribution, uh, we have planes and trucks all around and we make millions. And the guy's like, yeah. Then what he's like, well, then we'll make all this money. And he was like, well, yeah. Then what? Since then we can do whatever we want. And the guy's like in the hammock,

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (05:33):

I think in the, uh, I I'll speak for me, I guess in the Western world that we, we tend to discount the, uh, emotional and mental health effects on our body. And I'll let you speak to that. But I am assuming that, you know, our emotional and our mental wellbeing, you know, can cause other problems that run throughout our body. I mean, I understand if, if you fall

Terry - AGEUcational (05:58):

Down a cliff and you break a leg, that's not much you can do about that. But like you said, if you're, if you're healthy, but you're depressed, then you're still not living your best life.

Yadi (06:07):

Right. You really need to be healthy. Yeah. There'll be a physical part of depression, which usually in Chinese, they call it Dan Kwan, which usually means when heat or hot phlegm. I said this the other day, every person I know who's under 30, who male, who has chronic ADHD or chronic gun anxiety, depression is losing their hair. So if you think there's no physical side of the emotion, it's not exactly, that's not the holistic view. A lot of times we've learned that the emotional it's physical, it's emotional for they're tied together. So a lot of times a physical ailment might be tied to an emotion that you've been holding onto or did not express. And it became physical at the time when it becomes physical, you're going to have to go through the body in order to release the physical element and the emotional imbalance as well. You can't just go through the emotional. So there's that, there's that line of thinking is like, if I just make myself happy artificially, then I'll just heal and it doesn't work that way. Right?

Terry - AGEUcational (07:19):

Yeah. No. And I, I feel, I feel like the older I get, you know, the more I'm being knocked in the head with that brick say he saying exactly that it's like, there are underlying issues here. You got to dig deep and you gotta deal with them. You've been pushing them away. You know, just anything, everything, not just the emotion.

Yadi (07:37):

Well, like, like Roy said, like if you fall and break a leg, obviously it's not, because you're not accepting the anger you have. It's because you fell and broke your leg. Right. But may have frustration when you couldn't move. When, you know, you were healing from a broken leg that now we're moving every move sets off that same chain of chemicals that you feel when you get angry. And it's like a chronic association with pain that you get angry with every time you have been. So not only is it pain, but it's also distressed, which is a waste of energy, which ultimately ends up becoming a very complicated pattern. And if you can do something visible and you can sort of get people to, um, to see how much energy they're wasting, uh, one of the clients I had, she was 49. I think she had terminal cancer and her husband cheated on her while she was going through the oncology.

Yadi (08:40):

And if you can imagine being scared to die, um, you know, not like a cute new, like, you know, someone is chasing me, but every day you wake up, like I'm dying, dying, right. And then this person you love betrays me. Her went so far off the deep end into, you know, her numbers, which were coming up and she was normalizing. This went off the deep end. There's no denying that when you're heartbroken or when you have, um, residual anger or you have fear, or you have anxiety that it's, it's using physical energy that you would need to heal, or you would need the function. It's just not an efficient management of your energy. Um, it, if you watched a horror movie, um, can you do deep breathing while you're watching a horror movie? Well, the music is like, I know some of us are living horrible. Like you had when I was a kid, uh, we were in the military. We never dealt with it, you know?

Terry - AGEUcational (09:50):

Yeah. And my dad was in the military, so I never dealt with it. I never dealt with it. He never dealt with it. I mean, Oh my gosh, so many things.

Yadi (10:01):

So the, uh, the beginning of the beginning of chain is just understanding that it's the process. It's not the thing itself that needs to change. If you have an infection, like a cold or flu, your body will get rid of it if it had enough endurance. But if it's burning itself out, because you, you know, you have some kind of physical element and you have the emotional on top of it, your immune system may not get what it needs because you're using it just to, you know, feel your emotion. It, I don't know if that makes sense, but everything requires energy. Right? Right.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (10:38):

Yeah. We take away our energy, that our body was meant to, uh, fight off diseases and, you know, we've got them placed. And I, I guess that kind of leads into a couple of things is, uh, first off is sleep is that we need to get enough sleep every night to repair our bodies and let it have time to heal. And sometimes that, if you're not feeling well, if you have a physical ailment or anything else that may need, it may be longer than that recommended time. I think we have to listen to our bodies to know how much time we need in any anyway, that's something that we're working on because, um, you know, the preparing for sleep, sometimes it's not, it's not just that the time that you feel like you have your eyes closed, but it's that preparing for it. So we make sure we have a restful sleep and we make sure that we sleep for eight hours and, uh, you know, that's in the bed. I think he, well, and I'm gonna let you answer this. This is more of a question, but we need to do this. We need to have that. I think they call it her circadian rhythm that we need to get into where we're trying to get in bed at the same time. We're trying to get up at the same time. And,

Terry - AGEUcational (11:50):

Um, going through the same rituals, the reading or whatever, you know, whatever you need to do and not being on the phone, which I, I just busted myself because I knew that's where he was heading. The Moonlight's bad for me. I need to read, sorry, finish your question. No, no, no, no. That was, that was kind of where I was going is that we, you know, sleep is probably going to be, you know, one of the bigger things that we need to tend to, or how that we can help ourselves to heal and to actually lead to wellness.

Yadi (12:21):

It's there, there are three pieces to figuring out if they're healthy. Uh, one of them is, can you fall asleep when you wake up? Do you have any, um, when you eat, do you feel energized and do you have, um, do you have energy during the day? Those are kind of the three factors. Can you sleep? Do you feel energized when you wake up? Can you eat? And do you have energy during the day? And it's thing, energy is kind of, it's a really vague description. Um, but think of it this way. Um, I sleep maybe five, six hours a night. Why? Because I know she gone because I know, I know my body, I keep myself very regular, but if you're the type of person who doesn't function well on five, six hours of sleep, you need more than that. And there are different constitutions like Jordan and I are built differently.

Yadi (13:16):

Yes, we have a different, um, you know, gate different, a different set of constitutional strengths. Uh, she is stronger in her water organs, like her kidney and bladder would be stronger based on her type. And for me, its lungs. Um, so I have a good reading during the day and she tends to get heavy during the day. And she needs like water needs to sink. And, um, long as basically metal and metal can be Sharpie the direction, but it's kind of the type that will dictate what you need to do. Most people need to go to sleep at 10:00 PM, need to get about seven to eight hours of sleep, but that's not everybody. Right. Right. Um, there's a lot that associated with sleep. And I've noticed that a lot of times people don't even give themselves permission to go to sleep. They're always, their mind is always going.

Yadi (14:09):

There's something else they have to do. They're thinking about what they have to do for their children, or what's coming up the next day. Like they don't ever get their brain time to turn off. And that is part of sleep, like preparing to go to sleep, also improve, you know, gaining that, to do list done, uh, doing what you need to do in order to feel like your brain can relax so that you can actually fall asleep. If you still have all of those things going in your head, you're going to have a really hard time. So that should be part of your preparation. That's making sure your brain can turn off so that you can get the sleeping. Yeah. So there's a secret because we, this is very, it's a logical little discussion where we need it X amount of hours of sleep. Um, but the secret is that you can get the same kind of rest and restoration without sleep.

Yadi (15:03):

Okay. Um, that's the secret. So, you know, at the top of the show, you mentioned she'd gone. Uh, 21 years ago, I was 117 pounds. I was doing all organic and I was sleeping maybe seven, eight hours a day. And I still, I kept getting sick. I got off my medications that I was given for an acute disease, which we talked about this on a different broadcast. Um, the thing is I wasn't healing, no matter how much sleep I got. And I was introduced to Cimmaron as a standing exercise where you standing, you know, mine was 45 minutes where I'm standing in a horse stance, my arms like this, to create that, uh, open circuit from my heart to my hands and my nervous system to my fingers. And not, not even having that much of an explanation guys, like I just did the work that my teacher told me.

Yadi (15:57):

And within three to four months I was gaining weight. It wasn't my diet. It wasn't my sleep. The secret is there's a state in between waking and sleeping. Some people call it the state of brain or the Alpha's thing. And that's what happens during this long exercise where it's technically where you're breathing as slowly as when you sleep and your mind is undisturbed, like when you're sleeping, but you're actually awake. That's the secret that, you know, a lot of people will hear it and say, well, I don't want to do some wrongs, raising my arms and floating like some kind of animal. But the secret is I can work 19 hours a day and not need as much sleep as somebody in I'm 45 years old, been doing this 20, 21 years. And the aging thing doesn't seem to be, you know, killing me. Like it's killing a lot of folks in this age group.

Joi (16:54):

We aged prematurely at one point and then we turned it around so we could reverse that. So we, we both aged at a, at a younger age than we probably should have. So using some of the things that he's talked about, we have changed that trajectory and we've been able to change our bodies to be younger.

Yadi (17:16):

You go on social media and you see like the person that 20, and then they show him at 60 and they're all fit and pumped up. And you look at them, I'm looking at the base. Are your eyes sunken in darker? What's the w what's the condition of your internal organs? Because being physically fit is very cosmetic. You have nice looking, you know, uh, shape, but what's, your organs are still just as old and festering sergeants that way as they have been. Um, and we're, we're saying that you can literally sleep standing up. There's a way to do it. And it has just as many restorative effects as sleep. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (17:55):

So now when you do she dong, uh, are you kind of, not only in a physical pose, but are you, um, kinda like meditate? Do you have to clear your mind and kind of keep it clear and do, um, I guess more of a meditation while you do it?

Yadi (18:10):

It's yeah, it's a really good question. It's it? You're just trying to focus on what you feel in your body. So instead of thinking, Hey, be quiet. Be still, you're just saying, am I grounded? Am I 50 50 on both feet? And my 70, 30 on both feet is my, the top of my head up is my chin drawn back. Do I have a pink pong space in my armpits? All of these little mechanics, there's no way your mind is going to go to like the Flintstones theme music, or you can't think, you know, you're not going to get distracted. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (18:46):

You offer, you have Checon classes. Don't you virtual Checon classes. Yeah.

Yadi (18:53):

Now we've taught in person here for eight years. Like literally hundreds of classes, uh, have a huge library of Chico, but yeah, the best way to learn as a person, like if you can take six months to go once a week and just train for an hour, you really get a sense of what's supposed to happen. Um, it's almost like if you take a tuning fork while a bunch of kids are playing piano and somebody plays the right note and everyone starts playing in the right team. Whereas if you just let the kids watch you through it and figure out how to play piano, it all sounds like chopsticks, you know, rap person preferable to do it in person. But you know, if you can't, for example, if you live somewhere remotely or you can't travel, for whatever reason, you can get some quality instruction online. That is part of why we created the library that we have so that we could get people introduced to this type of exercise. And then if they want further inspection one-on-one that can be arranged

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (20:04):

People that can't stand or maybe in a wheelchair. Is there any value to them still doing it without actually being a physically stand?

Yadi (20:13):

Okay. So we're all sitting right now, right? Yeah. Unless we're squatting on some weird thing to go sweat. Well, let's all do something together if it's okay. Yeah. So you don't have to be quiet. We don't have to meditate. All I want you to do is take your elbows, right. And keep them close to your ribs. And this is just like, you're doing an uppercut punch, just massage the rib cage lightly, just with shaping, just dragging it over the rib cage. Almost like you're doing upper cut punches and feel a little bit of warm across both sides of the ribs. So here's the two going apart, inhale, take a breath in through your nose and then exhale out of your mouth, keep doing what you're doing. And as you do it, you'll start to feel the expansion of your lungs when you inhale and the contraction as you exhale, your whole body warms up, which is very important. If you can't move around to get good blood circulation, that's all like a minute, right. Is anybody cold? No, no, that was great. I'm starting a fire. So it's a good passionate, the liver and gallbladder and the spleen and stomach. Um, it also helps slow your breathing down and make you more aware of your internal body. It just, something like that as an example, anyone can do to go home.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (21:42):

Okay, great. Yeah. And the breathing is another great thing to talk about because I know myself, I used to keep a, I had this list above my desk of things to do. And one of them was breathing and people would always be like, Oh, you got to tell yourself to breathe. And I'm like, no, I need to remind myself to breathe properly because it doesn't have to be stressed, but it can be intense. Like I was working on a project yesterday with the spreadsheet and some graphics and I found myself tensed up, not breathing in, you know, I just have to step back and say breathe. But then also to take those deep breaths, conscious breaths in and out. So is there. And my thing is, I guess it just gets more oxygen, but I'll let y'all explain about the value of the deeper, proper breathing.

Yadi (22:31):

Just the exchange of gases. Like there's CO2 and there's Oh, two. Um, the quality of your breathing can be measured by how long you can hold the breath out after an exit. So we can try that, like inhale, exhale it all the way out all the way out now don't inhale yet. And let's count the 30 mentally. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (23:07):

I gave up 15

Speaker 5 (23:10):

[inaudible]

Yadi (23:17):

Okay. 17. Okay. As you, as you felt the needed three, what emotions came up?

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (23:24):

Uh, not quite, uh, uh, well, I dunno how to describe it more anxious, like, okay. I really need to take a break. I'm drowning.

Yadi (23:35):

Exactly. Yeah. So, so a lot of times, um, Roy had to, um, to figure out how to breathe properly means you have to understand what your, uh, what's your underlying interest in. If you, if you don't feel like you have enough air and it's really not the case, you have plenty of oxygen. You can hold your breath for several minutes, like deep sea divers. It's a dream yourself, but what's happening is there's a lot of anxiety attached to breathing. Um, when you breathe out, that's when the diaphragm relaxes, the more relaxed the muscle is, the more it contents. So if you can get along a whole, the next time you inhale, you'll get saturated with that oxygen. Even if it took three second breath, it doesn't have to be very long. Um, but it's kind of counterintuitive as far as breathing. But the idea is that you take time and allow the oxygen to saturate you and allow the time, allowed time to get the carbon dioxide out.

Yadi (24:33):

Uh, instead of, you know, focusing on a deep inhale, whichever one does, and they do this thing too, which is kind of just sort of a shrug, but yeah, more so focusing on what you get rid of, which is very Eastern. Um, there's always, when you have a disease, that's always, what can you get rid of? Not what can you add to, okay. You know, if you had a cancer, for example, that's a growth of something that's abnormal. So if you start thinking, Oh, I have cancer. It's time for me to take organic honey raw honey time for me to take, uh, asking sampling, I'm going to take, um, Essiac team, whatever it is. Maybe that's not what you need to do. Maybe it's time to start cutting things out. Like for example, um, I need to breathe less during a minute, maybe focus on breathing three times a minute, instead of taking a breath, um, maybe focus on when I, instead of trying to pack all the, all the nutrients and eat enough for my body to feel satisfied, but not overwhelmed.

Yadi (25:38):

It's more about it. And believe it or not, you hit a good point because breathing is something we do all the time. It really teaches you about yourself. It's true. You know, um, going back to ADHD and anxiety, most of the people I know who have that have very short and sharp breathing. Hmm. You know, they, they constantly have congestions. So they, they have the green sharply to clear the airway. And when, when I tell them, Hey, hold the breath out. They go, and you can just really see what a person like on the inside.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (26:12):

Are you just like ADHD? ADHD? Yeah. No, that's, that's a good point. Cause I'm the same way. I just, you know, those short breaths probably too much to, uh, taken a lot of them like that. So that's interesting that there's a correlation between that, for sure. Yeah.

Yadi (26:31):

So, yeah. So if you, if you have ADHD now jumping in, like if you have ADHD and you're holding breath out, we have any other thoughts at that point, the grief. Right. So that's, that's a real meditation. Like everything has left me except for one single thought that is to take that next breath. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm not thinking about this feeling or my spinner or whatever. I'm like, okay, where's the next one?

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (27:01):

No, that's a good point. Cause, uh, you know, that's what I was thinking that whole time too. So that may, you know, cause when I try to meditate, uh, I have trouble turning it off and I'm always trying to redirect to, you know, focus on the breathing in and out and just how I'm feeling. But, um, that may be something I'll try. Next time is just to go ahead and exhale, get it out. And then that way I'll have one thought on my mind

Yadi (27:25):

It was breathing. We do it all day. So it's not like you can forget.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (27:28):

Yeah. Right, right. So, um, as we grow, we have more and more body aches, uh, for many reasons. But you know, people become where they don't get around as, uh, as quickly our balance leaves, you know, what are some things that, uh, we can take away from the traditional Eastern medicine that can help us with those things?

Yadi (27:52):

Well, can I tell you guys another secret? Yeah, sure. This may where tradition meets technology is 2021 answers to questions. Okay. Okay. If you look up the word shoot, she, as in, um, she won't, or she, as in, uh, acupuncture, you know, moving the chin, the, the weird sheet literally means air, right? And it wasn't that scientific. We didn't think of air as nitrogen or oxygen or whatever. It was just the breath. There's something that's kind of new. It's been around Asia for about 10, 11 years, which would help with everyone's aches and pains. And it uses breathing. You know, where I'm going, talking about molecular hydrogen. So we started talking about the pandemic, which it's impossible for you to miss. There's a pandemic worldwide. If you look at the number of deaths in Japan, you look at the number of deaths in Korea and even [inaudible] China started using the technology about two months in, they put people on hydrogen gas, inhalation instead of the ventilators.

Yadi (29:04):

Uh, this is H two gas, which the generators are very inexpensive compared to a ventilator. When a leader is 80,000 hours, these are probably 2000, but they're all over Asia. And even the elderly people, Japan has the most centurions. Like they have the most, a hundred year olds out of any country and their death numbers are like nothing because a lot of them breathe hydrogen or they drink the hydrogen into water. And hydrogen has a way of stopping inflammation, which creates pain, which creates the other, every other disease that's related to inflammation, arthritis, bursitis, tendonitis, right? Yeah. All of the, uh, inflammatory conditions. If you look up molecular hydrogen, that's the best. The reason we were able to re open then during the pandemic, we just, we got the message from the head of pulmonology, Rouhani, Dr. [inaudible] back in March on the BBC network. And he said, yeah, we're using hydrogen and people are being released in three hours, not weeks.

Yadi (30:08):

Wow. Okay. So I put all my patients on hydrogen when they come in and I do my body work on hydrogen. If you can't be here, look up molecular hydrogen. Or we have a site that I think is that it's not the answer to all your health questions, but it's the answer to inflammation, to chronic aches and pain. Even I have a lady that couldn't sleep for about five years. Uh, I put the tube in her nose, she fell asleep for the first time that night she slept. Um, it's, it's, it answers a lot of health problems. Uh, but the thing is it's accessible and anyone can get it. Uh, there's it's basically considered an inert gas. There's a, about 10 years in scientific research and it does have a correlation to cheap breath. And, you know, we had our own experience with hydro therapy and daddy has actually been working with hydrogen for many, many years. And so when we heard about this therapy that they were doing in China, uh, we said, well, we've already been doing that for several years. So we understand the process and can help other people to do this as well. So we come from, well, we started a couple of stories about how it changed our lives as well. The guy that introduced me to it was 88. This was back in 2004 and it was still working in his garden.

Yadi (31:40):

He's still alive now. So, and that was old store. So, you know, you have to think, I watch it older people do. I didn't even know it was hydrogen in the beginning because it was just a weird device that I bought for a hundred dollars. Now they're much better made and technology is improved, but yeah, please, if you, if we don't remember anything else, look up molecular hydrogen, there's a water tablets on Amazon that has nothing to do with me. It's not anything I sell. Um, there's bottled water with hydrogen in it. Uh, there are a bunch of different companies, but if you're looking for something to help you throughout your day, you can't get to my office. You don't want to learn. She gone. This is my way. This is the, it's like the three, uh, the three, um, information that you got here that might change your life. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (32:30):

You know, it's funny. Cause we were just talking about that the other day, Terry was asking about, uh, some hydrogen, hydrogen and dated water was the only water

Terry - AGEUcational (32:40):

That we were that was available to us. It was like a case of hydrogen, hydrogen eight or water. I'm like, I should've gotten it. It was gone by the time.

Yadi (32:50):

Yeah. I just think water is pretty. It was pretty awesome. She used to walk with a cane. She was able to, to walk again. I think we've told that story on different podcasts. Um, you know, she, she had a lot of trouble getting through the day. She had a lot of weakness in a lot of fatigue and one day it was a high, small day, high ground-level ozone day. And we had the wildfires from the mountains having to Charlotte. And that's not that we have in this area. So when that happened, air quality was terrible and I already had weak lungs. So the oxygen that I was able to get was very low and I have never, ever, even though I have been a flight attendant and have gone in low oxygen space, I had never had any cases that per proxy, but that one day I did, she had a credit card in your hand and almost I was looking for an excuse to pull the trigger on buying this $3,000 machine. They cost less now, but at the time it was three grand. And when you see somebody you care about that's in pain or struggling, just forget money, forget whatever I bought the machine. She went from being able to work one hour a day to working eight hours a day with no fatigue, no problems. Wow. And like, I, I, it's not anything else. It's not that it's not able to exercise.

Yadi (34:21):

That was family. You know, our own aging parents also do hygiene and it's helped my father tremendously. He's had high blood pressure. He had pre-diabetes and dermatitis. And the first thing that we did was put on my hydrogen therapy. And I remember, I remember he was not at, for only two weeks and he would do inhalation for an hour a day. And he was out there. You're blowing grass.

Terry - AGEUcational (34:55):

Wow.

Yadi (34:57):

And you know, no loss of energy or, you know, any 45 years, there's an experiment in hyperbaric, heightened, late stage cancer. And they were 50% successful in reversing terminal cancer. 1975. We have to search that in Google, but there's an abstract experiment from it's as old design. It's not anything new. It's just, now we can get it at, at home and we can get it at a price. That's a little bit more affordable for a lot of people.

Terry - AGEUcational (35:30):

Okay. Well, we'll check that out. We'll definitely check that out. One thing we touched on a little bit, uh, I just will kind of, um,

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (35:38):

Hit for a wrap up is our diet. And I know that's, you know, up there as important as our sleep and our breathing and everything else. So if we could touch on diet for just a minute.

Yadi (35:51):

Yeah. You know, you have to eat what fits you, your body constitution. You can't, there's no such thing as a healthy diet, too many people will go and say, well, I got cancer, but everything I eat is healthy. Well maybe not for, you know, like half the world is a yin type. You know, your body is cold. Your body tends to be heavier. And half of the world is young where, you know, you're more dynamic, we're more active, you're hotter by nature. And each one of us has a different set of rules that fit our NetSuite constitution. So if you know your constitution, you can eat accordingly to what fits you. I think, you know, as a general thing with diet, um, you have to stay away from what's the worst shotgun advice. Like everyone should take this vitamin. Everyone should take this thing. You're going to end up in a place where you have expectations, but there's no results. And then that's when people get upset because they said, Oh, this is what it was going to do for me. And it didn't do that. Right? So there's no, it doesn't work well. It doesn't necessarily work for your type. And you have to find the things that work for you. Even when, when people say drink, water, people go, Whoa, water with lemon water, with alkaline waters.

Yadi (37:08):

That's also based on your constitution. Um, so somebody was the other big thing was a tumor take tumeric tumeric draw. Well, that's not good that you have a hot nature because it's a hot rent. Um, take garlic, also a hot plant. Um, it makes some guys like, like garlic has an impact on the sex hormones. It's all, it's hidden in certain Eastern culture that, uh, preach abstinence. Um, so if you have, like, if you're trying to, uh, like amplify your libido, garlic might be the thing for you if you're not too hot natured, but it's good to know what your constitution is. You know, the foods I worked for me, but they're nothing like Joy's diet. And here we went through years where we ate according to whatever they knew, health information live, right. Feel terrible and not understand why. And that is part of the problem. You know, you eat these things and somebody else suggested, Oh, we're great. But if you don't know your type, you're going to waste a lot of time. There's juicing like drinking. That's terrible for juicing. If you have terrible salad, like, you know, everybody, if I eat a salad, it's nothing terrible cold. And I didn't understand why I hated valid if I warned that it was a little bit better. Um, now I understand that my body and not handle a whole lot of cold, raw food.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (38:43):

Interesting. So how do we determine our, if we're hot or cold?

Yadi (38:48):

Well, the shortest answer is to contact somebody who knows. That'll save you a lot of time. There's also a book called your union body type by Gary Wagman. Um, which if you can get through the book, it's, it's a little bit long, it's kind of technical, but it doesn't have some very good information. Yeah. There's a, there's a, um, an exam like the questionnaire, you fill out, figure out what your body type is. Um, probably the easiest thing is to contact us. And you're going to answer in less than a half an hour. Um, not, not as a plug, but I'm just saying there aren't a lot of people doing, um, constitutional assessment. Like a lot of people will say, Oh, you have arthritis, lupus. And it has this, the same advice for everyone. Oh, turmeric's not working take black pepper with the tumor is not very specific.

Yadi (39:38):

Right. Interesting that, um, in addition to the hydrogen targeting and working with your body type improved my health twofold, and those two things really made a huge difference with my energy levels, my digestion and sweetie, okay. I will say this, but as a general, we eat way too much. And um, I, I eat two meals a day and I have for like 17 years. Okay. There was an article today that said, uh, there's really no reason to eat three meals a day. Um, and I thought somewhere on Apple news or something like that. Okay. I thought that was interesting that they are doing that now.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (40:24):

And so do you snack at all? I'm like, I'm thinking two meals. That's all I, why?

Yadi (40:30):

No, no. It, after 12 hours, your body starts making the things that you want. That's those are the, that's the reason you don't age. Um, there were these guys that trained me, they used to wake up at 6:00 AM. They would eat, uh, 6:00 AM and eat at 6:00 PM, nothing in between. They were 50 and 60 years old. They were huge muscle bound. You know, a lot of them had no gray hair and it's that space in between meals that really gives them the body time to absorb what you ate. The book that we had talked about earlier, it says one of the reasons that we age more quickly it's because,

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (41:08):

And you know, and that's interesting because we, uh, you know, on our other program, we had a guest that we talked a little bit about fasting with, or we haven't aired it yet, but we talked to them and, uh, you know, that's the message that came out is this, uh, you know, eat five times a day. Small meals is probably more detrimental than, uh, you know, this fasting and the intermittent. And basically what the, you know, if you eat at six, six, you're, you're fasting, you know, twice a day almost, but it gives our body a chance to repair digest. And so, yeah, that's interesting. Very interesting. And so when you do eat, uh, kind of, do you just eat like normal portion sizes? Just like a little protein, a little vegetables.

Yadi (41:54):

Yeah. You have to have the fats, the protein, the vegetables. They should have a good balanced diet. I do a lot of, some vegetables, like a lot of seaweeds and things like that. Cause they have high moral content, which is good for me. Um, would probably be good for her.

Terry - AGEUcational (42:12):

I don't think you don't like green things. Do you, do you like green things salad, but I like them to be warm. Ah, okay.

Yadi (42:23):

So, um, Ross, not that great, but warm is, is wonderful. Warm is good. Okay. I think in fact, my father, uh, I feed him too many vegetables. I do like I do like,

Terry - AGEUcational (42:37):

Okay, okay.

Yadi (42:41):

Definitely make sure you get a fair amount of every kind of movie, you know, and, and just as a general thing, fruit may not be the most healthy thing. Like fruit, maybe something like, um, those, those sugars are really hard on your liver. And here's an interesting fact, the liver is the only organ that can actually break down. It's the same with alpha. So the liver can break both of those down, but it usually has a hard time with them at the same time, especially like, do you want cherries?

Terry - AGEUcational (43:20):

That's what I was going to say. Hmm. Don't have any fruity. So more appletini so mango margarita is really doing double duty.

Yadi (43:31):

They'll have like a burger in two donuts still alive.

Terry - AGEUcational (43:37):

Oh my gosh.

Yadi (43:40):

Uh, some kind of liver damage will eat a lot of fruit and their body is really having a hard time. Interesting. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (43:50):

Well that's great information again. Uh, we thank you guys for stopping by and talking to us. It's always enlightening and enjoyable speaking with y'all and, uh, you've given us some things to think about on the, uh, the hydrogen and then also this eating that's interesting breathing for sure. So, um, why don't y'all do this, uh, tell us how people can reach out and get ahold of you, you know, who are the clients that you can work with and then, uh, you know, what can you do for them? I know that y'all have some, uh, you know, it's better. Uh, if they're there in North Carolina y'all can do onsite, but if they happen to be across the us, how can they reach out and interact with y'all, uh, over the internet internet,

Terry - AGEUcational (44:33):

Joy's got something to say,

Joi (44:37):

Think we do have a online consultation. And if you get to our website, uh, Charlotte Acu bodywork. So that's Charlotte ACU B O D Y w O R k.com. You'll find that there, and then you can book an online consultation.com.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (45:01):

Okay. Awesome. Well, we certainly do appreciate it.

Terry - AGEUcational (45:05):

No, I was just going to say, this is awesome. We, you need, Roy needs an appointment. He'll do it online. I can tell him, got all the info.

Roy - AGEUcational - How Qi Gong and Other Eastern Medicine Philosophy’s Can Help You Age Better (45:16):

All right. Well thanks a lot guys. Of course y'all can always find us www.ageuucational.com on all the social media platforms, uh, uh, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, also this, uh, a copy of this will go up on YouTube as video. So you can look in at the, um, interview as we did it. And until next time, take care of yourselves and take care of you.

Terry - AGEUcational (45:42):

Thank you so much. We appreciate it.

 

www.charlottereflexology.com

www.charlotteacubodywork.com

www.ageucational.com

     

Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness with Charisma Freeman

Honesty is very important to self-care. Rate your happiness and rate your anger. Think about what relationships mean to you. How can we make changes that have the desired effect on where we hope to go. Increase that serotonin and the endorphins and increase the sense of euphoria. This will help us handle stress much better and lead to happiness.

About Charisma:

Founder of Charisma’s Caregiver Coaching LLC, aka Charisma’s Care, 15+ years of medical experience as a Registered Nurse and Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner, Disability Advocate, Special Needs Mom, Educator, Medical Curriculum Developer, Certified Life & Wellness Coach Featured on 11Alive News, GMA, FOCUS, etc.

As an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner & Registered Nurse, as well as a Holistic Health and Wellness Coach. My specialty in disability and elder care in my medical practice. I am a proud mother of two beautiful children who I’ve raised myself since divorcing shortly after my son with special needs was born. During the time, I fought the medical system tooth and nail to uncover my son’s true medical diagnosis, while pursuing my Masters Degree in Nursing.

As I write this, my daughter is preparing for college to study Forensic Science and my son is thriving everyday despite his rare genetic disorder, KIF1A. I’ve also cared for my elderly grandmother for years until her passing 5 years ago. For fun I am first and foremost a Band Mom for my daughter, I fell in love with hiking during Covid-19, and I love to travel the globe. You can learn more about our family travels as a special needs mom in My Journal/ Blog. I talk about how you too can travel the world with disabilities.

I share this information because I know what it is like to feel alone, confused, and overwhelmed. To be at your wits end and not know if you will make it another day caring for your loved one. I’ve pulled myself from the bottom back to the top creating my “New Normal” and work everyday with clients just like you to do the same. We are the forgotten generation and it’s unfair. I am working to change this one client at a time.

 I SEE YOU!

 YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

YOU ARE APPRECIATED!

Over 15 years of Medical Experience

www.charismascarecom

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness (00:02):

Hello, and welcome to the second episode of our first many series here on educational. Uh, we are, uh, gonna welcome charisma back. And last week we talked about, um, I guess we talked about the caregiver, caregiver, happiness, uh, what makes you happy? You know, talking about relationships and reaching out, and then also, uh, who are you, you know, sometimes with any job, but I think especially caregiving takes such an emotional toll on us. Sometimes we can forget who we are as a person. So, um, uh, you gave us some great homework exercises to get out there and reach out, make some contacts, but also to really put pen to paper and write down who that we are. So thanks for that great advice. And, uh, we're going to talk about goals this week. So how can caregivers set some goals for themselves?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (00:55):

Yes. So thank you for having me back on. So yes, we're going to talk about some goals and, you know, some dreams that we may have tucked away. So, um, this week we'll need to have a pen and paper or something. We can jot some information down on. Okay. So while you craft that last week, I did challenge you to define the roles that you play and, um, some things that bring value to your life. So I don't know if they're able to, uh, you know, message you on Instagram or Facebook. So, you know, maybe we can get some interaction, but it'd be nice to see some of the things that people may have come up with.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness (01:33):

Yeah. They can reach out to us on Instagram or of course, uh, you're at charisma care and all this will be in our show notes, but you are very active on Instagram. So send one of us a note over there. That would be awesome. Yeah.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (01:48):

Yeah. So today, um, I want to start off by rate anger. We're having you rate your happiness, um, and just be honest with yourself because it's just you there to see it. Uh, so what I do when I taught, when I have clients, we go through several different areas to rate where they are as far as they're happy. And then, so today I just want to pull out a couple of them. Um, the first one I want you to look at is your relationships. And I want you to rate this on a scale from one to 10. So with your relationships, where are you? One would be the least, you know, not, not happy at all with your relationships and how they are right now. And 10 will be the very most, you know, I'm, I'm great with my relationships. They're, you know, pretty strong and that could be friendships, family, any of those different things. So that's the first one, your relationships next. I want you to rate, rate your health and wellness. So, you know, one, my health is terrible, you know, I'm just going to be honest with myself. And my health is perfect. Um, I mean, I personally had an 80 year old that was still running the marathon that they do in Canada. So I would say that he was probably a two

Terry - AGEUcational (03:03):

That's awesome.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (03:04):

Yes. He ran it every single year and he was 80 and I came to do his visit and he was still running that marathon. Wow. And then the last one, yes, yes. And the last one I want to pull out is your attitude about life. You know, how do you rate that on a scale from one to 10? Where are you in your life? And just how happy are you in this place right now? Because as caregivers, our mood just kind of changes. So sometimes, you know, we're doing really good and then, you know, sometimes we're not doing as well. Yeah. So I want you to raise those and, you know, just look over that and take a deep breath and say, Oh wow. You know, this is where I am. So are you happy? You know, are you happy in your life right now?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (03:51):

Are you happy with your relationships? And if not, how can we make it better? How do you get to the point that you aren't pursuing happiness, but you're on a happiness pursuit, you know, you're making it your own. You're just, you know, whatever you're doing every day, you're happy with it. Yeah. You know, so the first thing we want to realize is that happiness really isn't based on a lot of outside influences, you know, a lot of times, and we talked about it last time. You know, we think that money fame, all of those things are going to make us happy. They really don't know. Um, what we actually find is that happiness is based on your mind. There are actually five brain chemicals that, uh, four brain chemicals that are responsible for your happiness, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, serotonin, I'm sorry, and endorphins. So those are the things that have to do with your happiness. And you know, at no point did, I mentioned anything outside outside of us,

Terry - AGEUcational (05:00):

Mercedes and BMW, didn't make that list.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (05:05):

You know, the people with the Toyota may be much happier. Um, you know, and the thing is each of these hormones work a little different. Uh, the dopamine actually works with your goals and your dreams. So when you're pursuing your goals and dreams, your dopamine is increasing your oxytocin. And that's called the hug hormone. That hormone comes out a lot of women after they deliver a baby. And that's why after you deliver the baby, they now, you know, back in the day and did it and didn't do it. But now they encourage skin to skin contact. So after even with all the stuff on the baby, some moms will say, no, give me the baby right away, because it induces Oxy, the, um, oxytocin. So, you know, so we call it a hug hormone. Cause as soon as you hug that chemical is released in your brain.

Terry - AGEUcational (05:53):

Interesting. Okay.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (05:55):

The serotonin is increased by social. Good. So when you do different things, when you write a thank you note, when you do the, when people were doing the pay, it forward, those things were increased in their serotonin and then endorphins, that's that sense of euphoria? That's that runner's high after you finish your workout. And you know, when you going in there and you're like, Oh my gosh, I do not want to do this workout. But once you were done, you were ready to go. We're starting today. That is the endorphins. And actually it is three times as powerful as morphine without the high. Wow. Okay. So going out for that morning, walk it that it increases and stimulates the endorphins. So, you know, what we can say is overall to stimulate these things, you strive towards a goal, you show a little kindness and you do a little exercise. No, those three things can make you happier.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness (06:58):

Yeah. And I think it's important to know that, you know, it's hard to find happiness in others or in things. And that, I think this is such an awesome point that could be made, you know, not only to caregivers, but to everybody is these four things that we can do. They will provide us really all the happiness and guess what? We're going to be making people around us happy too.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (07:20):

Right, right. That's contagious. Yes it is. Do you know when they started doing the pay it forward? Everybody started doing paid forward. Yes. I mean, it was, it, it wasn't a no to go to McDonald's and they say, Oh, your meal is already paid for about a Starbucks. Oh. They already took care of your coffee and see you love doing it too. Especially drive through. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to see them. I don't want to see them after though. I mean, I'm just like, yeah. You're like only in the drive through it's fun. Yes. So, you know, these, these things, the simple acts of kindness, the gratitude, the generosity, combining all of those increases, these hormones increases these chemicals. So the other thing that it does is when we're increasing these chemicals in the brain where now, um, decreasing and slowing down the aging process, we're decreasing the cortisol in your body, which, um, I had mentioned last episode, Oh, midsection that don't like to hold onto.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (08:57):

That's why when your stress goes up, your weight tends to go up and hold on to all of that stuff you want to get rid of because their cortisol level is high. But when we're decreased in the cortisol, we're decreasing, we're working on decreasing our stress because we're increasing our happiness. So it all works together. So some things that I want you to work on this week is a simple act of kindness. You know, whether that's pay it forward, whether that's, you know, now we wear masks, but if we're not wearing masks, we could smile at a stranger. You know, when people smile at strangers, even with the masks, my daughter, my teenage daughter told me people can see you smiling,

Speaker 4 (09:40):

See your app. I was going to say,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (09:43):

I said, yeah. I said, well, Nadia smile. That's my daughter. And she smiled. I said, I can't see it in here. I never noticed that. Can you know? So just smiling at a stranger or, you know, buying an ice cream cone for a child, or like we mentioned last week, sending that to that message via Facebook to say, Hey, how are you? Hope you have a good day. So that's just the simple act of kindness, an attitude of gratitude giving out that gratitude and that generosity. Um, so this isn't just for your family, your friend, just anyone that passes us by just being thankful saying, Oh, thank you for that. Oh, someone held open the door. Thank you. You know, when anytime, you know anything that's small or doing something for someone else, all of those things not only increases their happiness and makes them feel better, but it increases your happiness as well. You know, I have a special needs child. He has to wear glasses, getting glasses on a special needs. Child at nine is a much harder task than you would think it would be. So when he wears his glasses, I say, Oh, thank you for wearing your glasses today. You look so nice and he just starts smiling.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (11:03):

It's just, it's so easy. But when you think about even an adult, when you, Oh, thank you. Thank you dad, for, uh, putting on your shirt so nicely. Oh gosh, you look so handsome in that shirt today and it may make his day. Yeah. That's awesome. So yeah, just those different things. So do that simple at the time, that's at least one, you show some generosity just saying, thank you or spreading some happiness. And the last thing is a gratitude journal. So this has been thrown around a little bit, you know, especially this last year with everything we've had going on, but a gratitude journal is pretty amazing. And so what you do is every day you write one to three things in this journal and, and just three things that meant made you happy that day three things that you're thankful for. You know, you can start off small, but try to dig deep, you know, really think about those things. So write one to three things down every day for the next week until we meet. And then from there, we're going to go back and we're going to look at that because what ha, what we found is that when you have these things written down, and then you have a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, and you go back and read these things, you're increasing those chemicals again. Right. So you're happier.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness (12:28):

Yeah. Yeah. And when, when we're having that spell, uh, you know, when we have that spell of depression or anger or whatever's coming over us, it's, you know, we have to look around and I think that's a good point to make is we can look back through this journal to see all the things that we really have to be happy for. Maybe, uh, they may be something dragging us down right this minute, but the chances are, it's not going to last that there's, uh, the things that make us happy. They're going to be there for a while.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (12:55):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause sometimes, you know, I think I posted something the other day, the place that you are today was the place that you didn't imagine you would get to five years ago. Right. You know, it was the place that you wanted to be at, you know, you may have achieved something that you didn't think you would be able to achieve, but when you actually look back and think about it, you say, Oh yeah, I really did. I really did want that. Yeah. You know, my daughter's a senior. I pulled out my old high school yearbook and looked at some things and it said, I'm going to be a nurse practitioner and I'm going to have a house and a dog and you know, all these different things. And I said, Oh, I did accomplish that. It was really funny. And it looked at and spanking such and such amount of years.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (13:46):

But yeah. So the last thing that I wanted to talk about, um, that I want us to do is to take 30 seconds right now, just to write down some goals, whatever these goals may be. Um, anything that you may dream of at night, maybe you want to hike a mountain, maybe you're, you know, a younger caregiver and you still want to have a family. Maybe you want to go to the city that never sleeps. You want to go to Vegas. You know, once you get there, you don't have to tell anybody about it. You just want to go to Vegas. You know, maybe it's learning a new language. Maybe that's something you want to do or a weekend girls or guys trip. You know, I really want you to think about those things, some dreams that you have, and then next week, we're going to see what we're going to do with that next.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness (14:39):

All right. That's good advice. Charisma. I've already got my list already. Got my list going. All right. Well, thanks so much. Uh, so next week we're going to talk about visualization and we'll visualize these things that we've written down. So that's awesome. Uh, tell everybody how they can reach out and get ahold of you in the meantime.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (15:02):

Okay. So I'm on social media platforms, Charisma’s Caregivers Coaching, well, that's Facebook and LinkedIn and Instagram. And then my website is charismascare.com. Okay.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness (15:16):

Okay, awesome. Yeah. I'll reach out to charisma. She is the caregiving coach and she can help you through this journey so we can all make it through with our sanity intact. And she's going to show us how we can also be happy in the process. So we appreciate that. That's going to do it for another episode. That's going to do it for episode. Number two of our first mini series, uh, on caregiver, happiness. We're really excited. And again, charisma, we can't tell you how thankful we are for you coming on and doing this mini series for us. It's been great. So, uh, until next time I'm Roy, you bet. And Terry,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (15:54):

Sorry, Jerry. I'm all happy. I'm just watching your smile. You have a great smile.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 2 of 4 - Setting Goals to Achieve Your Happiness (16:01):

All right. You can find [email protected]. We're on all the major social media platforms, as well as iTunes, Stitcher, Google, Spotify. If we're not a one that you listened to, please reach out. We'd be glad to add it. So until next time, take care of yourself and take care of your loved ones.

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

   

Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver with Rayna Neises

It's a great idea as a caregiver to stop and take stock of what's really going on. Are you practicing self-care? Are you taking advantage of all the resources available to you? Sometimes we get so caught up in the care we are providing we lose sight of things that might be helpful to us as caregivers and to those we are caring for. Take a few minutes to reflect.

About Rayna

Rayna Neises understands the joys and challenges that come from a season of caring. She helped care for both of her parents during their separate battles with Alzheimer’s over a thirty-year span. She is able to look back on those days now with no regrets – and she wishes the same for everyone caring for aging parents.

Rayna is the author of No Regrets:  Hope for Your Caregiving Season, an ICF certified coach, the host of “A Season of Caring” podcast, and speaker who is passionate about offering encouragement, support, and resources aimed at preventing family caregivers from aimlessly wandering through this important season of life.

Rayna lives on a farm in southeast Kansas with her husband, Ron, and small pack of dogs. She is the baby of her family, but most would never guess that. She is a former teacher and enjoys crafts of all kinds and spending time with her grandkids most of all.

www.aseasonofcaring.com

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (00:01):

Hello, and welcome to another episode of educational. This is Roy. So we are gonna, uh, kind of multifaceted podcast. What we do is we're going to Chronicle our journey, not only of our aging sequence, but also, you know, how we deal with our parents. Um, Terry's unfortunately lost her, her father to Alzheimer's. So he, he was, uh, in the Alzheimer's around for about 12, 14 years, and finally passed. So she has got a lot of experience dealing with that, but also it's just the normal things that come up with parents that are aging is what really sparked us to do this. So it's, um, I'm going to be a little combination of us journaling, uh, uh, as chronicling our journey through this, as well as, you know, having guests come on the show and, um, professionals in this space. And so with that, I'm going to let Terry introduce our guests today.

Terry - AGEUcational (00:58):

Yes, we are so excited today to talk to Rayna, Neises. She understands the joys and challenges that come from a season of caring. She helped character, both of her parents during their separate battles with Alzheimer's over a 30 year span. She's able to look back on those days now with no regrets and wishes the same for everyone for aging parents, Raina is the author of no regrets. Hopefully your caregiving giving season. She is an ICF certified coach, the host of a season of caring podcast and a speaker who was passionate about offering encouragement, support and resources aimed at preventing family caregivers from aimlessly wandering through this important season of life. Reyna, thank you so much for joining us. We're so excited to talk to you today.

Rayna (01:51):

Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (01:54):

Yeah. And so, I mean this, the caregiving, I guess the biggest thing we usually start out talking about is the, uh, you know, communication. So like anything else so important, and it's so important to talk about communication. They, for, uh, this, for the emergency happens is to try to pre pre plan, talk about things, get, um, get your aging, loved ones, desires, uh, you know, if you can get them to write it down, that's even better, but at least Chronicle it so that when the, uh, you know, when emergencies do arise, everybody seems to be on the same page.

Rayna (02:38):

Communication be so tricky because none of us want to age. Right. And we certainly don't want to talk about getting to the end of our lives. So I think it is tricky and it is so important. I agree.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (02:51):

Yeah. And it's, it's a uncomfortable conversation, you know, I try to talk about with my kids and I get the, you know, still the hands over ears. Don't want to talk about this. And, uh, but you know, it's like, I try to tell them it's gonna make it easier for you guys in the end. And, uh, that, and also, you know, luckily my kids and I think Terry can attest that her siblings were, um, have a good enough relationship. It didn't become a thing, but the other part, we not only want to do what our parents or loved ones wish, but we just don't want it to tear a family of parties,

Terry - AGEUcational (03:26):

Not the rest of the family dynamics go into play.

Rayna (03:32):

It's really important that I have one sister and, you know, unfortunately for us, my mom was diagnosed at 53 years old with Alzheimer's. And so I was 16 when she died, was diagnosed and she was non-verbal within four years, I say three to four years. Um, she wasn't able to put her own words together and have a conversation about what was important to her. So when I look back on that journey with my mom, you know, we really didn't know what was important to her, what she would have wanted it to look like. My dad obviously was her primary caregiver and he was able to be her voice, but then seven years after her passing, my dad was diagnosed. And so we definitely sat down and had some tough conversations and really talk through a lot more because we realized number one, what it was going to be like. But we also knew my sister and I were going to need to be the ones to help make those decisions because you know, dad was able to do it for mom, but there wasn't anybody for him, but us.

Terry - AGEUcational (04:33):

Oh my gosh, you said you were young and your dad, how old was your dad? When he was diagnosed? He was 72

Rayna (04:44):

And he lived 14 years with the disease. So,

Terry - AGEUcational (04:47):

Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (04:50):

Yeah. So it gives you a perspective of actually having to be the person to provide care, you know, and that's such, even though your dad was there for your mom is still at such a young age that I can only imagine, you know, how you must have felt going through that. But what are some of the, I guess the top needs are, what are, uh, you know, what are caregivers lacking to give themselves? Cause that's usually what we talk about when, you know, people that care for others, they're so busy and focused to give to others that they typically tend to forget to give to themselves and take care of themselves, cut themselves a break about, you know, not getting everything done so well, you know, what are some things that you see that caregiver caregivers are kind of hurting themselves by lacking in some areas

Rayna (05:41):

Honestly, time to themselves is probably the number one thing that they don't have. And without taking time for yourself, you don't take time for reflection. And you know, my book is called no regrets and I've had people say, wow, that's, that's a statement. And I'm like, yeah, it is. But it's because throughout that caregiving season with my dad, I took the time to reflect what's working well, what's not working well. Why was I short with him today? Am I missing sleep? Did I have enough to eat? You know, really taking time to look at day by day, what's working, what's not working. What do I need to do differently in order to make this a better situation? And so it's not that I never did anything that I wished I hadn't done it's that I was able to correct it as I went through the process.

Rayna (06:30):

And I was really able to, by the time I buried him, reach that point of saying, you know, I wouldn't have done anything different in the big picture of things. So I think as a caregiver, really, you have to take time to ask yourself those questions. And that's where honestly, having a coach can make a big difference, because sometimes you can't even think of the questions to ask yourself. And so having an outside person ask some of those questions and help you really get to the root of where some of those struggles are coming from can make a big difference too.

Terry - AGEUcational (07:04):

Oh no. I was going to say, and that really is, is kind of all encompassing for everything, but the caregiving, I mean, if they don't aren't caregivers, um, they isn't there a higher percentage of them, um, going away before their loved ones do, because they don't, a lot of them don't take care of themselves. Right.

Rayna (07:27):

Right. So overall caregiving, 30% pass away before the person they're caring for. But when you get into Alzheimer's, it's higher than that, it's in the sixties. And I think that's partially because we have, you know, elderly taking care of each other. We have spouses taking care of each other. And so, um, we, we, we don't take care of ourselves a lot of times, unless somebody really does help remind us of those things, whether it be keeping doctor's appointments or getting the rest that you need, you know, as my dad progressed in his disease, he didn't sleep as well. And you are worried about them wandering and you know, there's so much more that has to be, you have to stay on top of that. You really do have to make sure you protect those things. So you look at how much rest you're getting, how you're eating all of those things. And, you know, I think as a caregiver, we get tired of hearing about self-care. I know what I didn't like to hear about self-care, but as a person, on the other side, I talk about it a lot because it does make such a big difference and it's not self care pampering yourself because that isn't realistic in the deep, in the depths of your caregiving. It is important to take little times to do that. It is.

Speaker 4 (08:35):

I agree, but that isn't all that there,

Rayna (08:39):

There has to be the daily, every day things. And I think it comes back to remembering what brings you joy and finding ways to bring that back into your life, remembering how your body functions that you have to have sleep. You have to have water, you have eat well, all of the exercise, all of those things.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (08:59):

Yeah. And that self-awareness is a huge component because I served as a, uh, a volunteer long-term care ombudsman here in the state of Texas for a long time. And, you know, that's what we would typically see is, uh, when there were incidents of abuse, whether it be physical or mental or emotional that, um, it was typically when there was short-staffed staff would have to double over maybe double over for weeks on end, just to try to fill the gap. And that's usually when these incidents happen. And, you know, I just relating that to even personally that, you know, when we get tired, our fuses get short, we things that we could normally tolerate irritate us. And so being sure that we get enough rest is very, very important.

Rayna (09:53):

It is. And it can be more challenging than you realize again, when you're caregiving, there's not consistency. Oftentimes the schedule is so inconsistent because of the person that you're caring for. And so those rituals that help us have good sleep, the rituals that we can develop to get to bed at a certain time and to do read before we go to bed or take a bath or whatever it is that helps you get ready to sleep, um, can be interrupted and then you can be asleep and they can be up for something and that's interrupted. So it really can be. Yeah,

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (10:29):

Yeah. This is where I think the, you know, the conversation that we have prior to, you know, getting in these situations with others because, you know, and, um, I'll let Terry talk more to this, but, you know, being able to ask for help, if you're in that, you know, unfortunately with, uh, people being spread out all over the country, not all the time or siblings, all right there to be able to pitch in, but when they are, it's such a big benefit to just get some relief, even if it's for, you know, going home and getting that good night's sleep. And, um, you know, I know that Terry has a sister that's in California and there's instances where, you know, through planning, she'll come in and stay for a couple of weeks to kind of relieve the two that live here. So, um, again, we get back to the communication and all that is that if you can have these alternative plans, but the other part to it, it's, um, we're struggling with this a little bit, but the, the asking for help is that it's okay as a caregiver to say, Hey, I need some help.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (11:33):

And, uh, you know, we need to try to talk our loved ones into being okay with getting non-family your outside help. That's so important.

Rayna (11:46):

It is. I'm always emphasizing with my clients and on our podcast team, you have to look at the team. And I, I love that you mentioned sister that's in California because I actually live 220 miles from my dad. And so I drove up and stayed with him in his home three days a week for two and a half years, and then every other weekend for the last two years of his life, because I was able to do that with my family and that worked for our family. It doesn't work for everybody, but at the same time, just because you're out of town, doesn't mean you aren't a part of the team. And so many times I meet long distance caregivers who don't even think that they're part of the team. So I do think it's so important to realize that there are all kinds of people on your team, the medical staff are part of your team, your family members, the guy who knows the grass, you know, getting that help and asking for the things that you need are. So,

Terry - AGEUcational (12:38):

Yeah. And you know, I have my other sisters here in the Dallas area and, um, we kind of both, you know, took mom and dad is like she said, okay, I'm taking dad. You're going to take mom. Well, now that dad's been gone for five years, I don't think that's such a great idea just for fun in my mind, you know, but my sister in, uh, California, she is, she is very supportive and she never questions anybody's, um, decisions or, you know, any, you know, if, and if we had an upcoming doctor's appointment for, for mom recently, she had a hospital stay and she, uh, she came up with a list of questions and she's like, okay, well, do you, you know, just, she helped in every way that she could, it really does take all of you to do it, but I know that everybody doesn't have somebody else to help with that. So, yeah.

Rayna (13:38):

Challenging and not everybody gets along. I mean, the truth is

Terry - AGEUcational (13:41):

Right.

Rayna (13:44):

And a lot of times, well, before our parents get to that older age stage, so it is challenging. But I think again, the communication becomes so important to make that person feel wanted and needed and to find things that they can do and feel like they're a part of it. So I lived, you know, away from my family. So it was like, I was home with my husband and kids on the farm three days, a week, three and a half days a week. And there were still things that needed to be done. You know, it was all on my sister when I was out of town. And so I learned, you know, I can make the phone calls if we need to find in-home care, or if we need to look for a different doctor, I was the one who did those things. So I think again, adjusting your perspective and making sure that you're including them. And I always say the key is invite. When we invite someone to dinner, we don't have an expectation. We aren't going to be all mad at them. If they don't come, if it doesn't work for them, right. We're just going to offer the invitation. Are you available? Can you help with this? And so if we stop inviting, then they feel like they don't matter. So if we invite without expectations,

Terry - AGEUcational (14:49):

Right, exactly,

Rayna (14:52):

No, you're right. I mean, you have to say what you need and if you don't ever ask for it, you can never get it. And so I think also then we have to realize outside of our family, and you mentioned too, just getting our loved ones to be willing, to take help outside of our family. But I think sometimes we sell them short and we don't offer different personalities and different people in activities that can be a part of our team. We, we took my dad to a day stay program and it was a memory care unit that had just people who came in during the day. And my aunt, his sister said, ah, he's not going to like that. No way dad loved it. He went the full four and a half years that he, in that we were caring for him and he loved it. We called it a social club ready to go to the club and visit the guys, you know? And so sometimes we have preconceived ideas. Yeah. Well, there were more women than men, but there was others, I guess that could be true at a frat house too. Right.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (15:50):

You know, I think that, you know, the day stays. I think it's good to talk about that for just a minute because, um, you know, so many of us, of a certain age, we have the memories of the old nursing home model back, you know, in the sixties and seventies when everybody was in the lobby and their wheelchair. And unfortunately, uh, it was just, uh, it was, there was no interact action and it was just a bad sight. Uh, it was sickening actually the way that, that, that all happened. But today things have changed so much. And, um, some of these, um, day stays. If you look around, if you have an option to choose, I know some that have very, um, in-depth programs, art programs, music programs, writing. I mean, it's unbelievable the options that they give them to, uh, you know, be a part of something, but also to kind of work their mind, work their bodies,

Rayna (16:53):

For sure. And like I said, that socialization, it seems so interesting. My dad was a very social guy, but one of the things he was extremely physically fit and most people were shocked, but in his eighties, he was still playing volleyball three times a week and going to the gym three times a week. And so we continued as many of those physical activities that we could as well. But some of them, he became really self-aware that he wasn't the same as he had been before. And so he started to give up, he actually played softball and traveled on a competitive team and into his late seventies. And that was one of the first things he gave up. And I was so sad and I said, dad, why don't you want to play anymore? And he said, I don't want to be that guy that doesn't, that's the weak link on the team.

Rayna (17:37):

And so, because these people had known him for so long, he couldn't be comfortable with them. And in this environment where there were, again, no expectations, he could walk into the day, stay and enjoy and be himself where he was in that moment. And it was okay. There was no expectation for him to be something else. And so I do think it's amazing all the things that they have planned and just that socialization and then has a family member, you know, it was a time for him to be safe, to be taken care of. And we also had the nurses and things on staff that we could run things by them. If we were trying a new medication, can you keep an eye out for any side effects? You know, it was just, our team grew significantly with them on the team. And so again, I just think looking at and really evaluating who's on your team, where are your holes and how can you fill those holes in a more creative way than just expecting family to do at all?

Rayna (18:34):

Because I think that's one of the reasons why family caregivers burnouts and are not doing as good of a job as they could is because they think only family can. And it's just not true. The team needs to be a large group of people with all kinds of strengths and weaknesses. And I've actually created, um, a quiz called the caring, caring quiz.com. And it lets you go in and learn your caring style and learn a little bit about who you are as a caregiver and maybe what your strengths are. Maybe some areas you might need some help on. And then through a series of emails that you get after taking the caring quiz, then you also get a chance to kind of ask your team members to take that quiz and see what their personalities are and possibly see what other types of people you need on your team.

Rayna (19:19):

Not to mention what tasks you're, you're you are responsible for and what tasks other people are responsible for. And are they a good fit? Because like all things in caregiving, we shouldn't do it all, you know, and we might not have the right personality to do that. And this is just, it is an act of love and it is so important, but it's somewhat like a job every day. There are responsibilities and things that you're, that people are counting on you for. And if that's outside of your zone, then you're probably going to burn out. So really thinking about your strengths and what you need to bring in for support, that's not in your strength can make a big difference.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (20:00):

Uh, we had a little, little freeze up there. We'll try and move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not sure. I might, we had some app issues here too, so we'll just, that's all right. W we'll be good. Um, so yeah, I think, uh, you know, the providing the encouragement kind of get back to that whole team, but I, I think that's a good, uh, yeah, the quiz is good because that way there are different people that are, um, yes, well, we all have our strengths and weaknesses and if we can kind of align those with the care that we're providing, uh, I think that's, yeah,

Rayna (20:44):

What's funny. I was talking to a client one day and she was saying by the end of the day, my mom and I are just it's, we're not jiving. It's just kinda tough. And I said, you know, she might be sick of you by then. She laughed. And she was like, well, and I said, well, you're it, that's all she sees. I mean, your husband's around in and out, but she sees you all day long. You're the one boss and her around, probably not that you're being mean, but you're trying to help. And I said, but she might be tired. You, you know, if you bring somebody else in with a different personality, they might just bring a different, you know, take to her day and she might be a little easier to deal with by the time you get to that point. So I do think different personalities really can help even the person we're caring for.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (21:27):

It's so important. Yeah. The, uh, the other thing is the, um, I think we have to put ourself in that position of now my child is, uh, typically it's our children, but now our child is the one that's trying to tell us what to do. And sometimes it's not just, it's not the advice that we're giving sometimes it's just that it's very difficult to think. And I think the other thing is that what I feel is it, um, it's not only that somebody is trying to influence you to do something or tell you what to do, but it's also, maybe it's the, um, the realization now that all of a sudden somebody is having to tell you things to do to help you. And I think that can be very difficult on the aging psyche, because, you know, it's just another reminder. It's like, you know, I don't need to wake up today and have another reminder that I'm getting old and I need help. And that's, unfortunately, I feel like that's what happens when we, even though we feel we're delivering a message, very encouragingly that will help the person. It's just the, what comes across well. Yeah, well, but it's just there. It's where they are in their mindset. That's like, I just don't really, uh, I don't need this. I mean, it's, I may need it, but I am, again, it's just a reminder that I do need it, which is not a good thing.

Rayna (22:55):

Well, even I think with Alzheimer's sometimes they don't need it. And that was one thing that we really emphasized with the people that we asked to help care for. My dad was only step in when he needs it, because today he might be able to pick up that toothpaste and put it on the toothbrush and brush his teeth. But tomorrow he might start to brush his teeth without toothpaste. So let him try and then step and say, Oh Bob, can I go ahead and put some toothpaste on there for you? You know, only offer when it's needed. I think so many times with people with Alzheimer's, we have a tendency to just assume that today is the same as yesterday, and that they're going to have to have help. I might as well just do it. And that doesn't leave them the dignity that they deserve.

Rayna (23:36):

I mean, all of us have egos and it is reality. And as much as we can honor that, the more that they are happy, the less combative they are, the less frustrated they are with life and only being a support. I was an educator. And so I always think of when you're trying to help a child, who's struggling, you don't tell them the word, you help them sound it out. You help them sound, make each sound. If they don't know this sound, you tell them the sound they don't know. And then if they can't hear it, you help blend it together. You know, it's small steps that you intervene and you offer support. You don't just come in and read it to them. And I think so many times with aging, we have, as soon as you just come in and do it all, instead of letting them do what they're capable of doing and assisting them where they need the help

Terry - AGEUcational (24:22):

Just to get it done, you know, we think we're just doing it because we're just going to get it done and make sure that it gets done and then go on. We're not taking everything into account.

Rayna (24:33):

Exactly. It's not a race, although it feels like it's an assessment,

Terry - AGEUcational (24:37):

Right. Everything we want today, it's like, everything's on demand, you know, right now, go through the drive-through and get it, get it, get it, get it, get, and then you get home and it's like, what, what happened today?

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (24:50):

Yeah. So, um, uh,

Terry - AGEUcational (24:56):

I was going to say, so it's, so you have a book coming out. When is your book coming out and tell us about, tell us about it.

Rayna (25:03):

Thank you. I am so excited about it. Um, so our, my book is our story. So it is heartwarming stories. As people have called it of our journey, as well as the practical tips of the things that we found as a family that helped us in helping both of my parents age. So the name of the book is no regrets hope for your caregiving season. And it is designed with practical tips and ideas mixed with stories. Um, the first half is about the caring process. You know, how to find the team that you need, how to honor your parents as you're caring for them as they age. And the second half is that yucky self care word. But some things that I found really did make a difference for me in helping me coach myself through it and how to really be able to look back with no regrets.

Rayna (25:49):

And so it will be in bookstores nationwide in June. Um, but right now I have some pre-orders available. So if you actually visit your major retailers online and pre-order a copy, then you can visit my [email protected] and I'm actually giving away a hundred free copies that are signed. So I still have quite a few left. So if you pre-order, then there's a little form on my website that you can just fill out that form and I will drop a signed copy in the mail to you. And you can, you'll have to, you can give one away as a gift when June, when she first gets here. So again, that's no regrets-book.com.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (26:30):

Yeah. Don't wait. Uh, even if you're younger and not in this position, right. This moment, don't, don't, um, don't put off, give it and learn it and read it and be prepared. I think that's a, you know, a part of the other message with the communication part is just preparedness. It's never easy. You're not going to be able to it's

Terry - AGEUcational (26:50):

And you never know what life is gonna throw at you either. I mean, you can play, you can be prepared to it to a point, but you need to have all the basic, you need to have structure at least, you know, to help.

Rayna (27:04):

I mean, those conversations, you're never going to regret that. And so even if something changes now is the time to do it, you know, having making the investment in long-term care insurance or making the plans and understanding how much those things are gonna cost, you know, really being able to have those conversations. It you're just not going to regret it. And the more often you talk about it, the less uncomfortable it is. And so I don't think you're ever too young to start having those conversations. I agree.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (27:34):

Yeah. And you can, there's other things that we can do. They don't always have to be the difficult subjects are the subjects we don't want to address, but we can weave into that other things. And, uh, there's, uh, there's other providers out there, but there's a, um, there's a service that we've signed up for. And it, what they do is they send a question to our moms every week and it gives our mom, um, you know, a chance to write things down. And it gives us a chance to learn about things. Maybe we never asked her or her to go more deeper into things that we know a little about, but excuse me, you know, those are things that you can recreate on your own. And so I think the other part of this is don't wait till it's too late to, to find out your parents' story or your grandparent's story, whether you have to, you know, interview them slowly like this one question at a time, or if they're still able to get them to, you know, write things out.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (28:30):

But, uh, I think the information that they can transfer to us is invaluable because there's still a lot of things that I, you know, I don't know much about my parents or my grand parents, parents, I know a little bit about them. So that was one, some of the first questions that I kind of queued up for my mom is to, uh, you know, tell us more about her grandparents, what they were like. So, you know, we can make these conversations a little less tense and a little less, um, undesirable by kind of weaving in some, uh, you know, some other things in there.

Rayna (29:07):

I agree. I think another way to broach some of those uncomfortable conversations is to talk about other people. So, you know, aunt Sally fell and she broke her hip. And when she went to get out of the hospital, she had to go to a rehab center. What would you want to happen if something happened like that? You know, that just naturally brings those conversations.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (29:26):

Right? Exactly. All right. Well, Ryan and, well, thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be with us. Uh, it's been a pleasure speaking with you, but before we let you go, so what is a tool or a habit? What's something that you do every day, personal or professional that really adds value.

Rayna (29:46):

I would have to say that self reflective part of me and that is through journaling, just asking myself some of those questions about the day, what was the best part of the day? What was the toughest part of the day? What do you want tomorrow to be different? And just taking the time to write those few extra sentences every day helps to impact me both in, you know, making new choices and in being able to be thankful for all the things that happened that day.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (30:13):

Yup. Okay. Awesome. Yeah. And we do have, even when our days go bad, we do have a lot to be thankful. So let's, don't lose sight of that. And I think the other thing that kind of bring up about caregivers is, um, as in life, is that we can tend to beat ourselves up for things we need to be. Uh, we need to be lenient with ourselves, give ourselves a break. We may have had 10 things on our to-do list today, and we got seven done, but we miss three. And, uh, sometimes we can spend our day kicking ourselves for those three that we didn't get done instead of celebrating the seven things. Or maybe you just happen to have a good conversation with one of your parents and through you behind, but let's celebrate those, um, you know, let's celebrate the good things that happened through our day. For sure. Yeah. All right. So if you don't mind tell us, uh, you know, the, um, the, uh, season of caring coaching, who are your clients and how can you help them? And of course working, they reach out and get ahold of you.

Rayna (31:16):

Sure. So most often I'm hired by professional women who are in that season of caring for their aging parents. And they're just feeling completely maxed out. You know, they have the family, they have their own home, and then they have their parents' needs on top of that and finding a way to be able to do it all well, um, can be really frustrating. So that's what we work through is what does it look like to be able to offer the support to your parents, that they need take care of your career, your family, and actually find time for yourself without the guilt, because that's a lot of what we deal with is that guilt side, um, and really be able to just work, work that together and develop the plans that they need to really find the way to do what's most important and be able to look back later and say, I don't have regrets.

Rayna (32:02):

I did, I did what needed to be done. So that's what most of my clients look like. And you can find out more about a season of caring at aseasonofcaring.com and I would love to have you pop on and just shoot me an email. If you'd like to know more, I have free support groups and opportunities for workshops. So I just want to be able to come alongside and support in that season. I've been there and it's not easy, but it is so worth it. It's one of, I interviewed a lady on a podcast one time that said, it's the hardest right thing I ever did. And I think that's, so

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (32:38):

I love the name too. I season of Karen that's. That's really good. Yep. All right. Well remember, it's just a season, I'm sorry

Rayna (32:49):

I say in the middle of it, you really do have to remember. It's just a season and your parents aren't going to be here forever. So that's what I want to encourage people to remember.

Roy - AGEUcational - Periodic Reflection and Evaluation Will Lead You To Be a Better Caregiver (32:57):

Yeah. And that's, you know, kind of another thing is even though, uh, it's not optimal, we still need to relish every moment that we get to spend with them. Sometimes it's not optimal, but, uh, it's better than the alternative. So take advantage of it for sure. For sure. All right. Well, that's going to do it for another episode of educational. Uh, course you can find us at www dot [inaudible] dot com. We're on all the social media, um, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and then of course a, uh, the video version of this will go on YouTube. Once the episode is released, excuse me, you can also find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Google, and Spotify. If we're not on a podcast platform that you listen to, if you'll send a note to me, I'll be glad to get us added to it. So until next time that's going to do it for Roy. You all have a wonderful day and take care of your loved ones. Thank you, Ray. Now we appreciate it. Thank you.

www.aseasonofcaring.com

www.ageucational.com

 

AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American's Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? with Terry and Roy

Interesting article this week Why Older People Managed to Stay Happier Through the Pandemic. New surveys over the last year show that the ability to cope improves with age. by Benedict Carey and published in the New York Times.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/12/health/covid-pandemic-happiness-age.html

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (00:15):

Hello and welcome to another episode of educational. This is Roy. This is I'm trying some new intro music there. So look for a little feedback if that's good or not. We'll see. Uh, anyway, we are going to bring a short episode, basically some, just a general what's going on in the news. Some articles that we had read earlier today, and, um, you want to start off, you want me to go right ahead? Okay. Well, what got my attention was there was a feed in my, um, LinkedIn and the headline was this conventional with the conventional wisdom that your happiness tends to increase as you get older has not changed much during the pandemic. Researchers have found even in April one of the darkest months. And this was, uh, April, 2020, one of the darkest months. Younger people were doing far worse emotionally than older people. And it, uh, basically this was pulled out of an article in the New York times by Benedict Carey.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (01:17):

And we will include the link in the show notes, but it's why older people managed to stay happier through the pandemic. And the article just goes on to say that, um, you know, in the beginning there was a lot of age-ism because it tended to, uh, COVID tended to attack older people first, and they got much sicker, much quicker and worse, but as this drug, the pandemic drug on some things came out, basically that, uh, people over 50 scored consistently higher and more positive on a wide variety of emotions. This was a study that looked at a thousand adults ages, 18 to 76, uh, across the entire country. And one point was made that, um, part of this could be the, to the fact that older people know and accept who they are and they are not, um, and not what other people think that they are supposed to become, which I thought that was a very powerful statement. You know, we talk about that a lot. Just, uh, you know, being, just being honest with ourselves, knowing who we are in a lot of situations, but also just being present, being present in the moment to realize, you know, what's going on, what we need to do to make it to the end of this.

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (02:41):

I, I th I mean, experience has a lot to do with that as well. You know, they're, they're thinking more about the workplace. I mean, everything is up in the air for everybody, but they're thinking more about the workplace, how they're going to feed their families. They've got little kids, they've got all of these other things happening around them. And, um, you know, they haven't had the experience to know that, you know, it's, it's, it's going to be okay, even though we all don't know it's going to be okay, you know, at some point or not another, um, that has a lot to do with it, I think.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (03:22):

Yeah, no, you're right. The, the, I'm not, I don't think it was the article, but in the comments that came around the article, I did notice that, you know, a lot of people were saying, well, the, you know, some of us older people that have lived through, you know, the financial crisis, good graveyard, remember back, you know, we've lived through an energy crisis. We lived through the, uh, you know, the oil embargoes. We lived through the, uh, you know, the oil booms and busts of course, around here. So, um, I guess that we take things a little easier and we know that we're going to make it through to the other end generally. So the, um, another thing that the, the, there were a lot of comments that follow, but some things that were said were, you know, putting aside stereotypes, it's all about skills and attitude and, uh, grace, uh, excuse me, and acceptance and gratitude. And this one comment, or was just saying that older people tend to practice that, um, acceptance and gratitude a lot better. So I, again, some things that we've talked about, uh, you know, even in our personal walks and things like that, just, you know, how thankful we are to live in such an awesome place that we do and get to experience the, uh, just the wildlife in our surroundings every day.

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (04:40):

Yeah. Nature is a huge part of our life. And yeah, I mean, that has just meant the world to be able to, to experience that and see the deer in the backyard and the ducks, and then all of them fighting over the food back there.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (04:56):

Yeah. Well, and that's, uh, you know, I think that us, especially, you know, we've talked a lot about the survivor's guilt that we seem to have flourished during this time it's slowed us way down and made us focus on the important things each other, you know, our life and doing things together. But then also, um, you know, I think it's, I think that we both tend to, you know, try to find those good things to look out there even, uh, I would love to be better. I know that, you know, we've had some equipment trouble and I've had a couple spells trying to get that thing up and working. I get that. So, uh, you know, in those times like that, that are trying is to really stop and think about, you know, what are all the great things that have gone so well today and you know, where all the grateful things, you know, in our life that we live in a beautiful place, we have shelter running, water, food to eat. You know, there are so many things around us to be thankful for all the time.

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (05:54):

Right. We don't need all the extra stuff. And then we've, hadn't been there, done that over it. Yeah.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (05:59):

And we have to also, I want to quantify that with saying that we've been fortunate. We haven't been touched by the virus. We haven't been sick that we know of. Nobody that we surround ourselves has been, uh, sick to the point of hospitalization. And I think maybe, um, I've, you know, I had a friend, a good friend from high school that we don't see each other a lot anymore, but he, I did see that he had a bad time and was in the hospital. And I think that you actually had somebody that passed that she went to high school with. So, but, but not that close, you know, not our close circle of friends or family that we have right now. So we have to always say that since we weren't touched by it, it's easy to, to recognize all these positives, if we had been touched by it, it, you know, it may be a different story for sure.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (06:52):

Uh, so anyway, a couple more things, another comment, or wrote that, uh, she works with companies that are in transition and she said that older workers always tend to cope better than the younger ones in that situation as well. Uh, another, um, Oh, this was another good point. It said that older people tend to work better at home at home. And so people being sent home, that's another reason why there's been a better outcome, but again, what, what I will say to that is that, um, maybe it's the distraction. I don't know, you know, if, if we work from home and we enjoy it, uh, you know, we like to be able to start our day with a little walk. Sometimes we can sneak one in at lunch and, you know, we always, you know, we're, most of the time we're there for our meal times, we have very set schedules, but, you know, you got to think about it. We thrive at home because of that stuff. But now if we had kids and you had kids at home that were running around that were too young for school, or because of the pandemic that you were homeschooling them now, you know, I can only imagine that it would be a huge, a bigger struggle for younger people in that position to, to work from home and be proud.

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (08:10):

Oh, yes. It's so many kudos to all those parents with younger kids with just with kids in school in general. Um, I can't even imagine how I would have been able to do that. I just, just thinking about it no way. Yeah. And I taught, I taught preschool and, and subbed for all ages and it was, uh, without the pandemic, Micah. Shh. I can't even, I just can't even imagine trying to do the virtual school online. I mean, just no idea. Yeah.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (08:45):

Well, and you know, how the connectivity and technology issues that we have even just producing this, you know, 30 minutes a week or what we, whatever we do. And if you were trying to do this for two or three kids every day, I can almost imagine that, you know, you just started full-time tech support, just trying to get everything up and running in the more

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (09:06):

Yeah. You become, you have to become technological even if, whether or not it's your forte. It is now.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (09:12):

Yeah. And one more thing I wanted to say on this as there was an article that came out, uh, or this was a S uh, a comment on the original article said that she had just seen a separate article and I'm sorry, I can't reference it. But, um, I did want to quote it and hopefully she was being truthful. It said that, um, it showed that the 55 plus group are the second fastest to adopt to digital and technological changes behind the 18 to 25 year old group. And the slowest, uh, group to adapt are the 30 to 45 year olds, which I was, uh, I was very surprised to hear that.

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (09:53):

Very surprised to hear that. I mean, I know my, you know, I'm texting and it takes both of my hands. I, you know, and I am slow. I have to spell everything out. I don't, I don't use many acronyms. I don't know what they all mean. I mean, it takes me a while, you know, just getting on a zoom call. Oh yeah. Oh, wait video on.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (10:17):

Yeah. I was just very surprised at that. I know, you know, our generation was kind of right on that cutting edge. Um, you know, it, when I went to college, the first go around, I always say, that's why, why I never made it through because of having to use a typewriter, you know, when you have to use a typewriter and you mess up and you have to start all over, if you're 10 pages into something it's terrible and, you know, always give, uh, I'm not sure who bill Gates or Steve jobs, but I give them credit for me being able to go back to school and finish my degree because of the word processor. I mean, I can blow words out, get them on a page and then go back and rearrange them. He doing spell check, you know, all of those tools were invaluable to me.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (11:07):

And so I think, you know, our generation was right on that, uh, dividing line. The digital dividing line is like, if you were interested in it and wanted to pick up on it, you know, we dove in and picked up on it, but there were some people that were still able to go, uh, you know, for long portions through their career and still not even have to pick up email. I mean, I know people that, uh, they avoided email spreadsheets, other documents, electronic documents, you know, well into the two thousands, just because it wasn't a ness, a necessity. And then of course it kinda got forced on them after a certain point. But, um, I would have expected that, that 30 to 45 since they grew up with this stuff that I would have, they probably would have been quick on the uptake.

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (11:56):

Yeah. I think I would think that it had a lot to do with the social, the social socialization in the workplace, you know, because if, if you do have little kids and you're going, you're going to work full time. You know, some people use that, that time, you know, walking down to the water cooler or go into the restroom or what go into lunch, down to the lunch room as a, as a time to make friends and, um, you know, socialize with their coworkers. And, uh, I think that may have a little bit to do with it as well.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (12:35):

Okay. All right. Did you want to talk about the, uh,

Terry - AGEUcational - AGEing Matters (12:39):

No. Well, I was just going to TA talk about the journal of American medical association. They, they also reinforced this idea that, um, the older, the older ages were able to, um, cope much better as well. I mean, this all has come out, you know, within the last month or so about all the, um, the, um, the articles are that the people that they surveyed, um, there were, you know, a thousand adults, 18 to 76 throughout the United States. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm going back to that other one. Um, yeah, the, um, journal of American medical association, they, uh, surveyed, you know, from 700 to 900 participants and broke them down into ages of 18 to 24, uh, 25 to 44 and, um, uh, 45 to 64 and the 18 to 24, this, the 18 to 24, they had a 49. They said that 49% of them, um, reported anxiety issues, 52% depressive disorders and 46% trauma or stress-related disorders. Whereas on the opposite end of the spectrum, the 65 plus 6% anxiety, 6% depressive disorder and 9%, um, TSR disorder and 25 to 44 year olds, 35% anxiety, 33% depressive and 36% TSR D so they just re they were reinforcing, you know, it's the social aspect as well as the technological. Um, yeah.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (14:44):

Yeah. And the, um, you know, it's interesting to you, I guess, to think about all these different things, you know, maybe it's the positions that we're in that, well, you know, first off we don't have a family to worry about. It's just, you know, the two of us, so we will. Yeah. And the dogs, so we'll manage to survive. If we have to go back to the Creek and, you know, fish for dinner, we'll, we'll be all right. But, but you know, uh, a lot of these guys, especially if they're in a food service, hospitality, those industries that were hit hard, and then now they've got a family, you know, it's not just them anymore, maybe spouse, kids. So, you know, I think they have a lot more on their plates maybe to worry about. I don't know. I think it's just, it's very interesting because, uh, you know, as we age, the one thing that becomes harder for us to tolerate is, uh, change.

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (15:40):

And so it's just odd that a couple of these studies have come out just saying that, you know, some of the older or handling the change and the disruption much better. So we just thought it was worth, um, worth doing a little mini episode just to get this out there and let everybody know. We'd love to hear our, uh, listeners comments. If you, you know, kind of, you can leave us your age and what, what, how you have felt, has it been, has this been disruptive, upsetting, do you feel like you've been calm and thriving through all of this kind of, what is your, um, what is the state of your emotion right now? Yeah, that's great. Yep. All right. Well, unless you have anything else, we'll close this out. I'm going to try to send us off with some music. All right. So, uh, again, you can find [email protected]. We are on all the major social media platforms, as well as, uh, the podcast platforms, iTunes, Stitcher, Google, Spotify. If we're not on one that you listened to, please reach out. We'd love to, uh, add it on. And also we will put a video of this up when, uh, when the episode goes live. So until next time, take care of yourself,

Roy -  AGEUcational - AGEing Matters: Research Shows Older American’s Coping Better During the Pandemic. Are you surprised? (16:56):

Take care of your family. Thanks for listening.

www.ageucational.com

   

Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? with Charisma Freeman

The first episode of a four-part series on caregivers, self-care, and happiness. We explore who you are. You are more than the role of a caregiver. We also want to explore why you should seek your happiness; this is not a selfish act but more a matter of self-love and self-care. To be the best caregiver, you have to take care of yourself.

About Charisma:

Founder of Charisma’s Caregiver Coaching LLC, aka Charisma’s Care, 15+ years of medical experience as a Registered Nurse and Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner, Disability Advocate, Special Needs Mom, Educator, Medical Curriculum Developer, Certified Life & Wellness Coach Featured on 11Alive News, GMA, FOCUS, etc.

As an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner & Registered Nurse, as well as a Holistic Health and Wellness Coach. My specialty in disability and elder care in my medical practice. I am a proud mother of two beautiful children who I’ve raised myself since divorcing shortly after my son with special needs was born. During the time, I fought the medical system tooth and nail to uncover my son’s true medical diagnosis, while pursuing my Masters Degree in Nursing.

As I write this, my daughter is preparing for college to study Forensic Science and my son is thriving everyday despite his rare genetic disorder, KIF1A. I’ve also cared for my elderly grandmother for years until her passing 5 years ago. For fun I am first and foremost a Band Mom for my daughter, I fell in love with hiking during Covid-19, and I love to travel the globe. You can learn more about our family travels as a special needs mom in My Journal/ Blog. I talk about how you too can travel the world with disabilities.

I share this information because I know what it is like to feel alone, confused, and overwhelmed. To be at your wits end and not know if you will make it another day caring for your loved one. I’ve pulled myself from the bottom back to the top creating my “New Normal” and work everyday with clients just like you to do the same. We are the forgotten generation and it’s unfair. I am working to change this one client at a time.

 I SEE YOU!

 YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

YOU ARE APPRECIATED!

Over 15 years of Medical Experience

• Nurse Practitioner and Registered Nurse
• Certified Life & Wellness Coach
• Special Needs Parent Mentor
• Proud Special Needs Mom
• Disability Advocate

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (00:02):

Hello, and welcome to another episode of educational. This is Roy. This is Terry. So we are chronicling our journey, not only through our aging process and things that we can do better for ourself, but we both have parents that are in the aging process as well. So we always have a new and developing and challenging situations that come up. And, um, in between, we also like to bring professionals in the field to you. Sometimes we don't know what we don't know, but sometimes we need to know where to turn when we, uh, when we need some help. And today this is going to be, uh, we're trying something a little new, we're going to do many series, and this is going to be like a four part series. And, um, what we're going to try to do is bring you some actionable items each week over this period for this particular topic.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (00:50):

And we'll see how it goes. And, uh, maybe we can roll more of these out as we go through. So, uh, today we are fortunate and a half charisma Freeman. She has been a guest on our show. We have a long episode, but we wanted her to come back because, uh, this caregiver and caring for ourself is so important. She is the founder of charisma care giver coaching, also known as Christmas care. She has 15 years of medical experience as a registered nurse, an adult geriatric nurse practitioner, disability advocate, special needs, mom, educator, medical curriculum, developer, certified life and wellness coach. She's also been featured on 11 alive news, GMA and focus. She has two kids. She got one heading to college this spring and her son has a rare genetic disorder. K one K K I F one, a autism and, um, uh, more, more alphabet soup. Uh, her hobbies include hiking, snorkeling traveling to different countries and, uh, real estate. So charisma, thanks for taking time out of your day to come talk to us. We certainly do appreciate it. Yeah,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (02:06):

You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (02:08):

And so what we're kind of going to focus on here, I'm pretty sure is we're going to focus this first series on caregiver, happiness, and it's so important, you know, as we all talk about taking care of ourself and, uh, we can't care for others if we're not caring or if we don't take care of ourself and, uh, anyway, very important. So what we're going to do, I'm just going to turn it over to you. We'll get started and I'm looking forward to it.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (02:35):

Alrighty. So, uh, yeah, like you said, we're going to talk about caregiver happiness and why you should pursue your happiness. Um, you know, a lot of times when we're caregivers and we're running here, running there and doing everything for our loved ones, we don't have time to take care of us and we're not really focused on whether we're happy or not. So, you know, some things I want to discuss is the benefits of being happy because not just, you know, having that smile on your face, but you know, it boost your immune system right now. We're in the middle of COVID. So we all can use an immune boost. So be happy. It boosts your immune system. It also, um, de suppresses obesity. So because, um, all of that stress is based deals with cortisol and all these different things. Um, and that hormone increases your risk for obesity. Um, and it holds onto weight gain. So happiness helps suppress obesity. It reduces heart attacks, um, and decreases your risk for Alzheimer's it re re reverses aging. And it helps you battle anxiety. And last but not least when you're happy, your loved one is normally a little happier too. Mama's happy, everybody's happy.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (03:56):

So there's a Harvard study that, uh, followed 714 teenage men over 75 years is the longest study that we know. And what they found was that they well, they were looking at their happiness and what they found was that things like isolation actually decreases your happiness. And not only does it decrease that, but it, it causes your physical and brain function to decline. So what they really found overall was that social connections were the most important factor of happiness. Even more than money set, social status, um, even more than, you know, all these things that we think promote happiness when they follow them, they found that social connections was the single most important indicator of happiness. So when we look at the pandemic and COVID, um, we mental health America, and someone named look at the health of different people, and they found that over 88,000 people had developed anxiety and depression between March and June of 2020, you know, and the suicidal ideation went up.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (05:13):

So by may the average number of people completing this survey with anxiety had gone up 370%. Wow. The number of people doing the depression survey went up 394%. And this was because we were in the middle of a pandemic. These people were at home, they were isolated. They were used to being out and about, but you know, what it really makes me think about is what about our parents and our grandparents? Yes. What about us as caregivers? We don't need COVID to be isolated. Right, right now they're typically at home by themselves all day. Every day. Yeah. But no, one's really screening us. No, one's screaming, screaming our elderly. Yeah. Um, so, you know, it's really important that we keep that in the back of our mind. Um, because it's not how many friends we have is not, you know, our kids have a thousand plus friends on Facebook, but this generation is more lonely, more depressed, more anxious than generations in the past.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (06:22):

Yeah. Yeah. You know, so it's not the quality of people. It's the quality of people, you know? Yeah. So when you're living alone, when mom is living by herself and she doesn't see anyone, or, you know, when someone, you know, and she doesn't know how to use Facebook, luckily with the pandemic, we saw everybody got a crash course. Yeah. But you know, that loneliness, it makes such a big difference and it, it's not only decreasing their quality of life, but it's decreasing their happiness. And so what they found with this study was that it with satisfaction of relationships at the age of 50 indicated that the person at the age of 80 would be happier and healthier. And if they were still attached to an individual at the age of 80, they were actually mentally sharper in less pain and healthier. Wow. That's so, wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (07:27):

We spent so much time trying to, you know, we talk, I've talked a little bit about this on my business show is that we are so busy pursuing goals, money, cars, bigger houses, all these material, things that sometimes we push our relationships aside. But when we get to that goal, it's like, then we realize, Oh, that bigger house didn't make us as happy at all, as we thought, and this is just a, you know, more proof of that, it's that the relationships that we build and we have along the way, those are water important.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (07:59):

Right? So that fame, that wealth, those higher achievements, I mean, they're nice. Don't get me wrong, but they're not going to make any difference about your happiness when you're 30, you're 50 or you're 80.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (08:12):

Yep. And when we talked about caregivers, the other thing I wanted to kind of point out is we think, well, they're with maybe they're with their loved one all the time. So that's a relationship. But so many of the people we care for are non-communicative that really, it's still, even though there's some physical body in the room, it's still very oscillating for our caregivers or can be

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (08:36):

Right. Right. And that, and that's all caregivers that's whether they're caring for children, whether they're caring for their parents, they're caring for, you know, their husband or wife that may have had a stroke or Parkinson's because a lot of times their cognitive, their brain function is not as good as it is with you and me. And I mean, when you're honest with yourself, you love your mom and your grandma dearly, but they're not necessarily your best friend. You know, you can't talk to them about every single thing. Right. You know, you, you, if you're watching an episode of friends on TV, you're not necessarily calling up your dad saying, dad, did you see this?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (09:21):

You know, it makes a difference. So social connections are really important. So, you know, we just want to make sure that we're fostering those. So one of the things that I want to say for this week is I want you to reach out. I want you to call somebody, call a friend, call, um, you know, someone, or, you know, somebody you may have seen on Facebook, like, wow, I haven't talked to her in a long time to a chat, a face-to-face chat, something like that. Just to say that you reached out because that's going to be so important, those friendships when things are up and when things are down, just having someone that you can talk to.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (09:58):

Right? Yeah. And that works both ways, not only for the caregiver to reach out, but if you know somebody who is a caregiver reach out to them, and it's interesting, you bring this up. I was listening to a podcast the other day about a guy he just started randomly sending out emails or people on his connections on LinkedIn. He would just say, hello. I hope you have a good day. And of course it surprised everybody. But he, he had, he said, you'd be surprised. The people that wrote him back and said, you don't know how much I needed to hear that this morning. And so we never know. So let's reach out. That's a good one.

Terry - AGEUcational (10:35):

I love that. I really liked that too.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (10:38):

I love that. And it's, it's such a simple thing. And it was one of, it's one of the things that I'm going to touch on, but I never thought to send something on LinkedIn or Facebook, you know, said that that's, that's really interesting.

Terry - AGEUcational (10:50):

Yeah. I think, did he say he did it through Facebook messenger? Maybe he just like picked,

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (10:55):

Yeah. He just picked some random people and just send it out,

Terry - AGEUcational (10:58):

Send it out to, and they just started up a conversation and he hadn't had one with him in a long time. So it was somebody he reached back into his bag of tricks and found them and reconnected.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (11:10):

Right. And I mean, with the internet, we can do that.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (11:13):

Yes. Yeah. That's the other thing too. I think we can take time to set up those electronic devices. It's sad. This came about, but when, uh, when COVID isolation in hospitals got bad, somebody had taken like orchestra music stands and set up tablets on them. And that way they could at least see their loved ones and have a little bit of communication. So, you know, there are a lot of things we can do to, uh, maybe we can't be right there with them, but you know, seeing somebody is a little bit better than talking to them. So there are a lot of different ways we can solve that.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (11:50):

Right. And I liked that. So the part I wanted to discuss is who are you? And what are you? You know, we are your mother, your husband, your grandchild nurse, you have titles, you know, firefighter, caregiver, but really who are you? And what defines you? What gifts do you have to offer the universe? When you leave this world behind, what legacy are you leaving? How will people speak of you? What will those two to three close friends say about you? And that's one thing that I really want to touch on in caring for yourself and finding your happiness, realizing who we are outside of that task. In that role we've been, been given as a caregiver. You know, it's a task, but it's not what defines us. It's, you know, it's the way that you complete the task that it shows, you know, the steps you take the investment of your time, your love and your compassion.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (12:46):

That's what really defines you. So when we, so my homework for you, because w we'll see you next week. So my homework is, you know, I want you to reach out to that friend. Like he mentioned, um, you can send someone a message on Facebook or something of that nature, but also want you to take time, to dig really deep and write down every role that you play, every role that you've played in your life. Maybe when you were younger, you were an athlete, or you are a musician, you know, what hats have you worn? Um, everything that you've done that may have added some value, because there's some times we do things and we don't realize how much value it adds. Yeah. You know, what are your hobbies? All of those different things, you know, the, the deep down and, you know, think man. Yeah. I did used to like to draw, I haven't drawn anything in years, right? Yeah. All of those things are so important. They make, they make us who we are. Awesome. That's it?

Terry - AGEUcational (13:51):

That's one thing. I mean, I, I like to read, I'd love to write, but I've put everything on the back burner for so long that it's been really hard for me to find that again. So, um, Roy has been great in encouraging me to read. We're trying not to be on our phones, you know, when we go to bed. So I have just been reading and I tried straight with non-fiction, but now I'm reading some fiction books and I'm just buzzing through them. It's being, I mean, it has been very helpful in finding my creativity and writing again, so.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (14:28):

All right. Awesome. All right. Y'all well, thanks so much charisma and F uh, again, tell us how, how can people reach out and get a hold of you where you can help them through their caregiving journey?

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (14:39):

Okay. So my website is charisma care.com. Um, and I'm sure you'll have that written somewhere. So you can spell that, then I'm on Instagram, I'm on. Um, and I'm on LinkedIn charisma scare. So everything is charisma scare.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (14:56):

Okay. And y'all go check her out on Instagram. She has a lot of great post off follower and lock-in lacking that stuff every day. Cause it's, uh, it's very, um,

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (15:05):

Um, very needed for sure.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (15:08):

It's needed. It's uplifting. It's very positive and inspirational. So y'all check it out. All right. That's going to do it for this first mini episode in charisma, correct me if I'm wrong, but next week, we're going to talk about goals and how caregivers can set some goals for themselves.

Charisma - Charisma’s Care (15:24):

Yes, definitely.

Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 1 of 4 -Who Are You and Why Pursue Your Happiness? (15:26):

Awesome. Well, thanks a bunch. Uh, that's going to do it for this episode of educational I'm Roy Terry. Of course you can find [email protected]. We're also on all the major social media platforms, iTunes, Stitcher, Google, Spotify. If we're not on a PA uh, podcast platform that you use, please reach out. We will get us added. So until next week y'all take care.

 

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

     

Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief with Charisma Freeman

Caregivers tend to get caught up in caring for others and forget about self-care. Caregivers of those with very high acuity will end up passing away before the person they are caring for approximately 70% of the time due to lack of self-care. Who will take care of you and your loved one if you get run down and sick? Selfcare is the answer.

About the guest:

Founder of Charisma's Caregiver Coaching LLC, aka Charisma's Care, 15+ years of medical experience as a Registered Nurse and Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner, Disability Advocate, Special Needs Mom, Educator, Medical Curriculum Developer, Certified Life & Wellness Coach Featured on 11Alive News, GMA, FOCUS, etc

I am an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner & Registered Nurse, as well as a Holistic Health and Wellness Coach. I specialize in disability and elder care in my medical practice. I am a proud mother of two beautiful children who I’ve raised myself since divorcing shortly after my son with special needs was born. During the time, I fought the medical system tooth and nail to uncover my son’s true medical diagnosis, while pursuing my Masters Degree in Nursing. As I write this, my daughter is preparing for college to study Forensic Science and my son is thriving everyday despite his rare genetic disorder, KIF1A. I’ve also cared for my elderly grandmother for years until her passing 5 years ago. For fun I am first and foremost a Band Mom for my daughter, I fell in love with hiking during Covid-19, and I love to travel the globe. You can learn more about our family travels as a special needs mom in My Journal/ Blog. I talk about how you too can travel the world with disabilities.

I share this information because I know what it is like to feel alone, confused, and overwhelmed. To be at your wits end and not know if you will make it another day caring for your loved one. I’ve pulled myself from the bottom back to the top creating my “New Normal” and work everyday with clients just like you to do the same. We are the forgotten generation and it’s unfair. I am working to change this one client at a time.

 I SEE YOU!

 YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

YOU ARE APPRECIATED!

Over 15 years of Medical Experience

• Nurse Practitioner and Registered Nurse
• Certified Life & Wellness Coach
• Special Needs Parent Mentor
• Proud Special Needs Mom
• Disability Advocate

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (00:00):

On hello and welcome to another episode of educational. This is Roy I'm Terry. So we are a podcast that we are going to Chronicle our journey. Of course, we, we both have aging parents and, uh, unfortunately Terry has lost her dad. He, uh, to Alzheimer's a few years ago. So she's been through that struggle and journey. And then, um, you know, from time to time, we are going to bring professionals on. And, uh, we're very fortunate enough today that, uh, charisma Freeman has joined us. She is the founder of charisma care coaching and, uh, charisma care. And she has 15 years of medical experience as a registered nurse, an adult geriatric nurse practitioner, disability advocate, special needs, mom, educator, medical curriculum, developer, certified life and wellness coach. And she's been featured on, uh, 11 alive news and good morning America and focus. So charisma, thanks for taking time out of your day to be with us.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (01:09):

Thank you for having me. Yeah, we are excited to talk to, you know, we have, um, we've just launched that we have a, at one episode that is out, but you know, we're excited to bring this message. We know that a lot of people, a lot of families struggle as a loved one's age. And then of course there's some of us that are, are aging as well. So we want to try to see what we can do for ourself as as much, but you know, that the caregiver is in a very unique position because typically if I'm not mistaken, it's usually the daughter-in-law that gets to carry the heavy load of caregiving for everybody. And then, uh, so not only does it make it hard on them, but a lot of times they have to leave employment. The caregiver does, they have to leave employment. So there's a financial burden, but then also with our truly, um, uh, truly the sickest individuals that we care for. Uh, I think the numbers are staggering that 70 to 80% of caregivers will actually pass before the person that they're caring for. So it's just a, it's a tough spot to be in. And so we're fortunate enough to talk to you and, uh, got a lot of great experience to kind of, uh, you know, give us some tips to help us through this journey.

Terry - AGEUcational (02:30):

Yeah. Can you tell us, go ahead.

Charisma - Charismas Care (02:36):

It is, uh, it is unfortunate that a lot of us caregivers do end up parents and before our loved ones, the ones that were taken care of,

Terry - AGEUcational (02:45):

It's just so important for, I mean, all around just for you to take care of yourself, but especially if you're a caregiver, I mean, that's the best way that you can give care is to take care of yourself. So you have some great tools to do that. Can you, um, can you talk about, um, what led you to, uh, to come out with charisma care and, um, you know, your personal journey, and I know it's a lot, but your personal journey, as well as your professional journey and how you kind of merged them together to do this.

Charisma - Charismas Care (03:23):

Yeah, of course. So, uh, I began my life as a caregiver, I would say pretty young, probably as a child, my grandmother, like a lot of our parents and grandparents had arthritis in her knees and, you know, I would sit with her and I would be sent to go get the witch Hazel out the out the cabinet that was before I think that was before even I see how it, I think they just had the blue rub at that point. So I wouldn't be sick to go get the wind. So, and, you know, I would rub it on her knee and I would tell her, you know, grandma, when I grow up, I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to be a nurse or I'm going to be a doctor. And, you know, a lot of times, a lot of us say those things when we're younger, but I actually did that. I did just that, um, you know, right after high school, I went straight into college into nursing school. Um, and over the years when I initially went in, I thought I was going to be a nurse midwife and deliver babies until my first experience delivering babies, that would do it. Yeah. It was not as glorious as I thought it would be. And, um, you know, over the years I gravitated towards actually hospice and I worked in the hospice syndrome industry and

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (04:44):

Yeah, I got, uh, I got to hand it to you there. That is, I don't know a lot about it. I do know enough to know that that is an emotional, uh, it's just an emotional stress of, uh, of a job because I know we, we get attached to the people that we care for. And in hospice, unfortunately, you know, they are typically at the end of their life. And so they're not with us that long.

Terry - AGEUcational (05:09):

No,

Charisma - Charismas Care (05:10):

I tell people, hospice as a nurse is more of a spiritual journey. You're not just treating the physical, you're treat in the spiritual part of a person you're treating their physical, you're treating their mental and emotional, but more than anything else, you're treating your family,

Terry - AGEUcational (05:28):

Right? Yes. That's a bigger part.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (05:32):

Yeah. I guess that providing that comfort to the family is definitely a big part of that job. I never really thought about that. Yeah.

Terry - AGEUcational (05:40):

Oh gosh. Yeah. My grandfather was in a, he ended up going to, um, a hospice care facility and Oh my gosh, they were amazing. They were just amazing there. They had it, you know, we were all falling apart at different times and they had it together and they just led us through the steps, you know, and it had to have been hard for them.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (06:08):

Yeah. And the other thing I know about hospice is that, um, you know, we typically tend to fight that off because you know, the stigma attached around it is that the end is near if you're going on hospice. So, uh, but I think that it could provide a lot of comfort to the families, but also, you know, ease the suffering of the patients themselves to, you know, as soon as your doctor recommends it is to just embrace it and, uh, try to get, you know, try to get into it if you can.

Charisma - Charismas Care (06:43):

Yeah. What I actually found, I worked in all different divisions of hospice. I was then hospice nurse for many, many years. I worked as an admission nurse. I've worked in the hospital for it. And what I've found is that really we don't refer our patients, people to hospice soon enough, what we do is we wait to the very end when the person is in agony, the pain can no longer be controlled. You know, they're extremely agitated, especially our dementia patients. By that time, they're just extremely agitated. It's so hard to get a handle on it instead of referring them a little bit earlier, because hospice is typically safe, they say six months or less, but sometimes we have patients that's on hospice for a year or so. Um, but if we can get them on there earlier and we can start managing those symptoms because it's more about symptom management. So if we can start managing those symptoms before mom loses 20 pounds, if we can get her when she lost those first 10 pounds or, you know, when her appetite is starting to decrease, you know, those things make a big difference. You, you treat the person, you're not treating the diagnosis in hospice. And that's what is so different from our typical medical profession. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (08:03):

And, and, you know, talking about that, getting in and, and treating their symptoms. We can, if I'm not mistaken, we can actually give a little bit more quality time for family members with their loved ones. Then like you said, maybe that they're suffering and they keep fighting against whatever, you know, whatever the struggle is. And, um, it can be, it can, that in itself can take a huge toll, not only on the patient, but on the family.

Charisma - Charismas Care (08:33):

Yeah. It's definitely quality of life versus quantity of life. And actually what studies have found is that patients on hospice care actually live longer than patients that are not on hospice care because they are receiving that regular care. I tell people, first of all, you already paid for the hospice service right through when you get it through Medicare, you already pay for it regardless of if you knew it or not. Right. So you pay for the nurse, the CNA, the social worker, the chaplain, the ability to do respite care, um, continuous care, you've, you've paid for it. So why not take advantage of all of these services that are available to you at the end of life? Because we all know that if it's nothing else that's promised that is the end of life.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (09:19):

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And there's a lot of, uh, you know, what I guess is called durable, durable medical equipment that can come along with hospice to make life easier. Well, I know like, um, um, you know, hospital beds and just other equipment that you can take advantage of to help make it easier on everybody as well.

Charisma - Charismas Care (09:39):

Yep. The over bed table, the, um, the high commode for other patient, um, we do specialty mattresses. If their wounds are bad enough, uh, you know, wheelchairs, all of those different things that you're searching for, it's all covered under that one house has benefit. Yep.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (09:59):

So the other thing that was interesting I thought is that, you know, you provide coaching to caregivers and I mean, this could be at any point in time, but you know, probably even just the sooner that people can get to you the better off they will be. You know, if they're starting to have to provide more and more care to, uh, family members, because there's, it's so involved. And there's so many things that we don't think about, but, um, you know, like check and mail trip and fall hazards and just, uh, again, we'll get back to the self care of the caregiver themselves is that sometimes they need the respite care and get somebody in to help them, even if it's just for a few days or a few hours.

Charisma - Charismas Care (10:45):

Yeah. And what I found over the course of my career, once I got into geriatrics and I just really loved it, but what I found is that a lot of time the caregivers, they weren't taking care of themselves at all. You know, they weren't making their doctor's appointments. They weren't managing their blood pressure. They weren't taking medications for anxiety and their anxiety was going through a roof. I would see them, I do a lot of in home visits, even now I visit my patients in the home. And most of the time the caregivers say, when was the last time you ate? Oh, I don't know. Maybe I had a Snickers bar. We think, you know, what was the last time he had a fruit or vegetable when, you know, do you stop to go to the bathroom? When was the last time you had a moment for yourself to just, just walk outside and breathe and they don't think about that.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (11:37):

Yep. Well, and I think the message, and, you know, Terry alluded to this earlier is what w what you have to realize as a caregiver, as you want to be there to provide care for your loved one. We know that, but you have to think about the, the, um, it's, it's a marathon, not a sprint. And so you have to think about if I may be here in the short run, but if I don't take care of myself, I'm not going to be here in the long run. And then who is going to take care of my loved one.

Charisma - Charismas Care (12:07):

Right. Right. And that's definitely a question I ask people, if you were to fall ill and ended up in the hospital tomorrow, what would happen to mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, grandpa, yeah. What would happen to them? Where would they go? Because we don't consider that. And we don't take the time to take care of ourselves and especially the natural caregivers. And you're normally the only person providing that care.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (12:37):

Yeah. And if you happen to be a mom or a grandmother, um, then now you have passed the caregiving torch to your children, and now they're not only caring for you, but they're caring for the, the loved one that you were caring for too. So we've just doubled down on, on that,

Charisma - Charismas Care (12:53):

Right? Yep. The sandwich generation. Yeah,

Terry - AGEUcational (12:57):

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And I'm S I mean, I know I'm guilty of it. I can recognize I sit back and recognize it. Now it speaking with you, especially that how important it is, you know, to take care of myself so I can make sure. And my mom's 80 S 86, 87, 86. And, um, she was in the hospital over in the, in the fall for, she was in ICU for a week and then in the hospital for a week, and then physical therapy and occupational therapy, all that stuff, you know, we were just going, we were just going, and, and we actually kind of had a plan. She's just ha she's healthy. So this was just something that came up where she ended up getting sepsis and all of that, but we just kept going and going and going. And I, fortunately my sister's close by, so she was able to help. But, um, you know, it's easy to say, but it's so much harder to do

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (14:00):

Well because people like, you know, like Terry, she would go over to her, mom's in the evening and stay all evening, stay up overnight and then come home and try to have a normal life during the day. And, you know, after, after a few days it was just not much more. And so, you know, one thing that we could talk about think here's a good transition is planning. Uh, we never want to talk about somebody getting ill. And, uh, but I think what I have found in my experiences because of lack of planning, there's a crisis happens. And then everybody is in panic mode trying to solve it. Instead of, you know, there are things that we can talk about pre crisis that will help in, uh, you know, I'll, I'll let you be the expert here and talk about that. But, you know, I think it goes from not only, uh, providers that we use, w who's what kind of medication are you on? Because the, not that they went to the emergency room, you know, Terry, uh, had a whole bag full of medicine setting in the emergency room, trying to cat catalog all the different prescriptions. And so she, you know, to me, those are things that we could do. Pre-crisis also, uh, she's fortunate enough. She has two sisters that they get along well, and we're able to coordinate the care, but there can be dialogue about, well, if something happens, who's going to do what and how do we work this out?

Charisma - Charismas Care (15:30):

Yeah, definitely. So one of the things that I offer on my website, um, charisma is care.com is I offer a free packet of information. Um, I call it your care coach guide, a caregiver's guide. And what that does is it documents all of those things you just mentioned until it documents. Who's the first and second emergency contact. Um, the medications that your loved one is on dosages, all of those things diagnosis. I have a list of the most common, like 50 diagnosis. Um, so it's checked box and some, you know, fill in the blank. I also, um, add on there. Uh, do you have a living well who, your power of attorney, uh, any specialists that you see, all of those things, you know, you can either save it on your phone or you can download it and have a paper form of it. And that way you have it with you.

Charisma - Charismas Care (16:29):

And when I work with clients, what I do is I basically fall under Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So basically Maslow's hierarchy says we have to take care of the basics, food, shelter, and water, until we can take care of the basics. I can't tell you the let's go do yoga 30 minutes a day, three times a week, because you're looking at me like I'm a crazy lady. So make sure you're eating, you're sleeping and mom and dad are taken care of. Right? So if you have, that's what makes me different than your average coach is that I like to kind of focus on the medical portion of it first to make sure they're comfortable answer any questions you have about that. Tell you how you can have that dialogue with your physician, or, you know, how you create your team, all of those different things. And then once we can figure all of that out then from there, we can start to build up and focus more in on you as the caregiver. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (17:29):

You bring up a good point about the powers of attorneys. Not necessarily will because that'll be after the fact, but the power of attorney, living wills and directives and all that, uh, somebody needs to know where those are, because I know a lot of people that take the time to have all of that, and then a catastrophe happens and then nobody can find them. Or we, you know, if they even know they exist, they don't know where they are. So again, good to, you know, let somebody know where it's at, but I, you know, I don't even know. Maybe there's a good spot to write down for somebody, you know, that you can, uh, it will trigger somebody, but definitely need to know where to go

Terry - AGEUcational (18:14):

Updated information as well. Nope,

Charisma - Charismas Care (18:17):

Exactly know where they are. Make sure it's been updated not 20 years ago, make sure it's been updated and have that conversation. A lot of people don't want to have that conversation, but you know, I worked in the ICU and it was always so difficult when we had the family. There's five different siblings. Only one of them actually took care of mom. Nobody actually knew what mom wanted, but the one sibling and all the other ones were against her. If it's written down, then we simply look, pick up the paper and say, well, mom said she doesn't want to be on life support. Right.

Terry - AGEUcational (18:53):

Well, the finding of the family dynamics really, Oh my gosh, they, they really come into play when you're talking about the parents, because everybody thinks each child thinks they know what that parent wants, you know?

Charisma - Charismas Care (19:07):

Exactly. Exactly. And that happens a lot. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (19:12):

Yeah. That was a, I relate the story all the time, but I was a, uh, volunteer long-term care ombudsman in the state of Texas for awhile. And so when I first started that, I thought we were there to protect residents from the big, bad communities and corporate providers. But what I quickly found out was we were there to protect them from their relatives and other family members. And they were the most destructive that, you know, people don't realize it, but you know, we have to put restraining orders on family members because we had a, a lady that would aspirate anytime that she had solid food. And so there was one sister that she would come over and take her out to the all you could eat buffet. And then she'd be sick for three days because she was, you know, coughing and choking up everything. Anyway, that's kind of graphic. I know. But the pro the thing is, is it gets back to if mom or dad, or if we, as individuals write down and document what we want, then there's no question. And we don't have to try to determine who is the, who's the best mind reader in the family that really knows what mom and dad wants.

Charisma - Charismas Care (20:23):

Yeah. And that goes for spouses as well, because the other caregiver that we find that, uh, is forgotten is part of the spouses. There are a lot of spousal caregivers out there too. Um, and they need to have that same conversation. Both of them should have, should do the, I, I tell people, Oh, you're going to celebrate, go out to dinner, take this power of attorney and go and do that while you're waiting on your mail to come to the table on Valentine's day together, make it a special occasion, and then we're done with it. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (20:58):

Yep. That's good. One other thing I wrote down while we, while y'all were talking earlier is a polypharmacy. I know that can be a huge, um, have a huge impact for older adults because they have different doctors. And, you know, unfortunately, sometimes they may seek out a doctor that tells them what they want to hear. So they may have gone to four or five people, but anyway, do you see that that is a big problem because I, my, my, my impression is that when you get a, um, prescription, you know, the pharmacist should be looking at all that. But what I found is that they don't always pick it up. So do you see that as a big problem? Or do you run into that a lot?

Charisma - Charismas Care (21:44):

Yes. Especially with my elderly population. Polypharmacy is a very big problem. So on the, um, packet that I told you about, I do have them list of medications, but I also have a list of herbal supplements because you will be amazed how many herbal supplements people are on. And that is part of our poly-pharmacy because those herbal supplements also interact with those medications. I also have them list their specialist, um, because of course in a perfect world, all the practitioners, all the doctors, all the specialists are talking, but they're really not in our world. And they're really not talking to use of the, you know, the, my chart in the medical documentation has helped, and it helps with pharmacists to see it, but you're still on so many medications, you know, um, one person is giving you Metformin for diabetes, and then the other person is finding that your kidneys are failing.

Charisma - Charismas Care (22:36):

So they're taking you off the Metformin and putting you on something else, but your doctor didn't know that. So now your diabetes is out of control because they need to put you on something else. So it's really a matter of gathering everything. So that's why you really need to one only use one pharmacy, please, if you use one pharmacy, you are more likely not to have the issues with your medications interacting because that pharmacist will know what's going on and say either write down all of those medications and herbal supplements and the, um, essential oils, because that has come into play now, too. Wow. So write all that down or Brown bag it, like we say, put it all in a Brown bag, bring it to your doctor and sit it on the table so they can just write them all out. Yeah,

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (23:24):

Yeah, yeah. And you might, if you don't mind, I just jumped into that without explaining what polypharmacy is. Would you mind just a simple explanation for the audience there?

Charisma - Charismas Care (23:35):

Basically, probably pharmacy is when you have more than three or four medications. So when you start to have different ones, they all have different interactions. So we need to sure that they're not causing different effects and different reactions in the body. And I mentioned Metformin because that's a big one.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (23:54):

Yeah, exactly. Okay. Um, so what are some other tips that, um, what are some other things that you can think about that, uh, we need to be sure and remind caregivers that they need to take into consideration.

Charisma - Charismas Care (24:11):

So when you're going to the doctor, make sure you have your list of questions. I put a actually put a little spot on there to write down those questions before, because when I worked in the clinic, I literally had five or 10 minutes to see you. That's why clinic life wasn't for me. But my ma goes in there for the first 15 minutes. She gets your information from you. By the time I get in there, I'm literally just there for what you said, you came forward, right. If you're lucky, I can focus on three things, but most of the time I can only focus on one or two. So if you have questions, I really need you to know them and just fire them off. Right. So write down, you know, those questions ahead of time and make sure you ask the person so that you're not like, Oh man, once you walk out, Oh, I forgot to ask her about this. Or mom fail. And you know, this happened, or man, I forgot, you know, we, we needed an order for that. X-ray yeah. So just make sure you write those down ahead of time.

Terry - AGEUcational (25:14):

Yeah, I do that. I mean, I, I I've just now started writing out questions because I'm so overwhelmed in all aspects of my life that I just, when I go to the doctor, it's like, Hey, I get there. And he tells me, you know, he tells me what's going on. And then I leave and I'm like, wait a minute. What about that? And that, and that.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (25:35):

Yeah. And the other thing is

Charisma - Charismas Care (25:37):

That you let them know about new things.

Terry - AGEUcational (25:39):

About what,

Charisma - Charismas Care (25:42):

About anything new, if there's been a fall, uh, injury, uh, I encounter patients all the time. When I come see them in the home, they're like, Oh yeah. I'm like, where's that bruise from? Oh, mom fell and hit her knee. And she couldn't walk for a couple of days. I said, well, did you let your doctor know? Well know when when's the last time you saw your doctor yesterday?

Terry - AGEUcational (26:04):

Yes. We had to go through mom's apartment and, and take it when she did physical therapy and occupational therapy, they would come in and we took, she had all these throw rugs. I hate it. I hate a throw rug. We had to take them all up. She's we hid them,

Charisma - Charismas Care (26:27):

Please take away the rugs,

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (26:30):

You know? And th that the fall in itself may not be bad, but I think a lot of times we don't realize the implications because, you know, one thing I'll say is, um, a lot of times people don't want to go where they can get a little more assistance because they think that they want to retain their independence. But when you fall, you break a hip and you don't recover. Now you've totally lost any and all independence. And then unfortunately, sometimes that can be the trigger for pneumonia. And then things just go downhill from there.

Charisma - Charismas Care (27:06):

Yeah. It's, it's been very often where I will have a patient as fall and, and then that will be their downward spiral and it definitely happens.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (27:17):

Yeah, it is. It's so important to, uh, you know, get out in front of that for sure. Uh, the other thing, I think that it's good to realize that you really have a right to ask questions. So if somebody is putting you off or not answering them fully, and I realize that, you know, doctors are, are crushed for time because they have a lot of appointments and they're moving through, but at the very least they should try to answer your questions or you, um, sometimes you can email the office and get answers, but don't ever don't ever hesitate or feel like that you cannot ask questions.

Charisma - Charismas Care (27:56):

Yeah. Yeah. And I tell patients, if you feel like you have a doctor and it's that person, you all just don't get along, or they're just not the person for, you know, that it's okay to look at, look for other doctors, there's a multitude of doctors out there. Your insurance covers 99.9% of them. Even if you've been with this doctor for 15 years, sometimes it may be necessary to see another doctor. And in that same token, it's okay to get a second opinion. Sometimes we welcome a second opinion, you know, because you may need that, that second opinion may say your loved one's life. That's right. So, um, definitely make sure you do that.

Terry - AGEUcational (28:41):

Yeah, my mom, uh, I keep going back to my mom. Well, that's my, that's my reference. Um, about five years ago, maybe, um, she was diagnosed. She had a fall and was in the hospital and one of the doctors there diagnosed her with, um, Parkinson's disease because she had some little tremors. So for about six months, she was on some medication. I can't remember what it was called, but whatever it is for, for Parkinson's and they gave her symptoms. I mean, the side effects of the medication gave her more symptoms of Parkinson's. We went to like three or four doctors and found one. He, he was like, he said, okay, just stare straight ahead. I'm going behind you. And he kind of pulled her shoulders a little bit and he's like, you do not have Parkinson's and I'm going to show you why. I mean, weaned her off of it. Nothing, you know, she has a little bit of shake, but not, not anything like it, it was just really frustrating after the fact, but so thankful that somebody found it.

Charisma - Charismas Care (29:53):

Right, right. Yeah. I can imagine it.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (29:57):

Yeah, no, we've grown up respecting the medical profession and doctors, but not, yeah. Not questioning and our being, uh, you know, being timid to ask a question or, you know, make them think we are questioning them. So it's good. And, uh, I think that Don, uh, most, uh, I don't want to say, I don't know how to say it, but most good doctors will welcome that second opinion, or they will understand why you feel like you need more information. They will not make you feel bad. So, you know, don't, don't hesitate to do that for sure.

Charisma - Charismas Care (30:32):

Yeah. Yep. Um, it's definitely necessary. And like I said, most doctors, if they're a good doctor, they don't mind you getting that second opinion. Not at all. Right.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (30:44):

All right. Well, we appreciate you taking time out of your day. The other thing I was going to mention is, um, you do offer an essential skills training course. So, uh, number one, I'll let you in a minute, you can tell us where we can go find that, but I think, uh, you know, people need to reach out and get some information from you. And then there's also this training course. That would be good. Uh, before we get to all that, I was going to ask you, what is a tool or a, uh, a habit or ritual. What's something that you do in your everyday life that, uh, just, it adds value

Terry - AGEUcational (31:22):

For you?

Charisma - Charismas Care (31:24):

Well, for me, I am a caregiver as well. My son has special needs. So in addition to managing my business and I still see patients and managing him and my daughter, I am a big fan of my, uh, Google calendar. If I did not, if I did not have my Google calendar on the phone, I don't know what I would do. You know? Um, I send, whenever we have something going on and someone has to be invited, I put their name into the Google calendar for my daughter. If we have a doctor's appointment, I put her email in and she knows she has an appointment. Things are color coded on there, you know, for my daughter's one color for my, for doctor's appointments, those are always in red. So I know that those are the doctors, or if they're little things, they're in a different color. So I made sure, and everybody knows if you're not in my calendar, you're not getting done. My daughter will put things in my calendar to make sure that it's done.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (32:28):

Yeah. And that's important. And the good thing about the Google calendar as it goes across all your devices where it, you know, it's not just one thing that's on your phone, but it'll go across your devices. And you said, you can share where, uh, other trusted people can put stuff on and put appointments on there as well. Trusted. I want to emphasize that

Terry - AGEUcational (32:50):

The kids might want to put pizza in there every once in a while. Right,

Charisma - Charismas Care (32:54):

Right, right. But I mean, you, one thing that I found with the Google calendar, if you loop use it long time, sometimes I can look, if I'm at an appointment, I can look back and they'll say, well, when was that surgery? And I can look back two years ago. Cause I'm like, I think it's around April. I can slide back two years ago in April and say, Oh, it was April 15th.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (33:15):

Oh, wow. Okay. All right. Well, thanks for that. So if you don't mind, tell us number one, who is your client, what you can do for them. And then of course, how they can reach out and get a hold of you. But also you may want to talk a little bit, um, about this, the essential, uh, skills training course that you've got.

Charisma - Charismas Care (33:36):

So the essential skills training course it's for the family caregiver. And what it does is, is a prerecorded course where I go through about 10 modules and we discuss things like feeding. We discuss transfers, bathing. Um, we discussed medication management and the reason why I created it, someone actually asked me for it because they were going through caregivers, especially during COVID and whenever they would hire a caregiver, the expectation would be that the caregiver was already trained, but rarely are the caregivers that we're hiring already trained. Whether we hire them directly, or we hired them from a company, we find that they come in here and they don't know what what to do. Right. So I created the trainings for that caregiver. Or if your family member's going to respite, or you're bringing in a family member, that's not typically here, they can take that training. It has questions at the end. If you want them to, you know, do the questions and they can take this training, it goes through all of these different modules. And then at that point, the only thing you really have to update them on are things that are very specific to your loved one. So you're not repeating the same thing over and over and over. And you know, that everybody knows all of the same information. So that's why I created that.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (34:58):

Yeah, no, that's a good point because everybody's a little different anyway, but it's good to just go through the specifics of your loved one and make sure, because a lot of people tell you that they cared or have cared for other people and may not be, may not be totally truthful, or it may have been somebody that had a little different diagnosis that needed different types of care. So now that's a good point to,

Terry - AGEUcational (35:24):

Instead of, instead of just assuming that they have, because they have the caregiver names, that's what they're applying for, whatever that they know what they're doing, they have to know. Well, you can't that you got to make

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (35:38):

Sure.

Charisma - Charismas Care (35:40):

Yup. And the CNS are the same because they may have worked with one client that didn't need any help with transfers or didn't have any feeding issues or any tube feedings or anything of that nature. So this just makes levels the playing field and make sure everyone's on the same page. And now, as far as who my client is my client, our caregivers. So I found that the caregivers they're, you know, they're not sleeping, they're not eating, they're not taking care of themselves. And I see that time and time again. And then they end up ill. They end up stressed out. They end up on all of these medications to help them manage this anxiety, stress, depression, you know, help up and nobody's leaving them. Nobody saying, okay, if we manage this part of your life, then that in turn will help you manage that stress and anxiety and you know, all these things and that caregiver breakdown that you sweep under the rug, because nobody really looks at us caregivers.

Charisma - Charismas Care (36:39):

So that's why I created the culture program. So I offer a coaching program. Um, my first call is always free. So we sit down and I do it via zoom or phone. And just depends on what your comfort level. We sit down, we talk about what's going on and where you are in your journey. And we can do coaching or some people who just do a call every so often where they just want to go over medicate medications, medical, jargon, just get an understanding of what's going on in their loved one's life. So I offer a little bit of both, um, in addition to the courses and probably some group trainings in the future, because I've been asked a lot about doing some group trainings as well, but I just want people to, um, have some help because like I said, I was, I'm a care caregiver. I care for my grandmother. And so she actually passed away. She passed away in hospice as well, or I care for her for you. Thank you. I care for her for years as well. And I mean, I always juggled so much and there was really no one caring for me.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (37:44):

Right, right. Yeah. And I think the other component that's impressive about yourself is that, you know, you do have the nursing, the nurse practitioner experience to go along with that caregiving experience. So that's a, you're walking the walk, not just talking. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great background. So how can people, uh, and we will put this in the show notes, but how can people reach out and get a hold of you?

Charisma - Charismas Care (38:10):

Okay. So, um, my website is charisma care.com and I make everything easy. Facebook is charisma care. Instagram is charisma care. So on Facebook, I do a Facebook live every Friday at 10 to 10:30 AM. And I talk about different topics. Um, we talked about, um, short term disability and FMLA lag and how you can utilize that to care for your loved one. Um, we talk about, um, having the documentation and what you should have, and they'll in your documentation when you go to your doctor's office and what you sh the documents you should request and the ones you can just toss. So all of those are on my Facebook. I'm working on getting it to my Instagram, but I do those every week. So they're on there for people to go take a look at. Um, so, you know, I'm just always trying to educate the public because this information shouldn't be hidden from us should be in plain sight.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (39:11):

Yeah. And that's a, it's a huge point that you make because, um, when, when crisis strikes, it's like trying to find the information. And the other thing too, is like, if you've got a month or six weeks to search and Google and call people, you know, you can find what you're looking for. But a lot of times, unfortunately when you have that crisis mode, it's like, man, we need this information immediately today right now, because that tends to drive up the stress even more, not only what event just happened, but not having all the correct information. Okay.

Terry - AGEUcational (39:43):

And sometimes you don't even know what information you need.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (39:46):

That's a good point. Yeah. We don't know what we don't know.

Charisma - Charismas Care (39:49):

Right, right. So that's what I put on there. And it prevents you from having to do extra tests and doing the same things over and over and a library, that stuff you can just request, you don't have to know where it is. They can just give it to you.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (40:04):

Well, charisma, we appreciate it. Y'all reach out to charisma and go over to the face of her Facebook page and watch some of these short videos. I know that they'll be very helpful, no matter where, uh, you know, what part of the journey you're in as a caregiver, uh, start earlier, don't wait to, to get yourself in crisis, reach out and figure out how to be, uh, not only the best caregiver for your loved one, but the best caregiver for yourself as well. Yeah,

Terry - AGEUcational (40:31):

Definitely. Thank you so much, charisma. We really appreciate it. It's been a pleasure. Yes, it has.

Charisma - Charismas Care (40:37):

You're so welcome. Thank you for having me

Terry - AGEUcational (40:40):

Doing good work. Yep. Yep.

Roy - AGEUcational - Does Caregiving for a Loved One Have You Overwhelmed? Learn Selfcare and Anxiety Relief. (40:42):

All right. Well, that's going to do it for another episode of educational. Uh, again, you can find us at www dot age, you [inaudible] dot com. We are on all the major podcast platforms, iTunes, Google, Stitcher, Spotify, and many more. If we're not on your favorite one, if you'll reach out to me, I'll be glad to try to get us, uh, get you added on. We are also on all the major, uh, social media platforms, Facebook, there's a Facebook group. We'd like to get some, uh, group chats going on there trying to, you know, uh, put whatever, whatever questions you may have put them out there. Somebody has been through or going through what you are trying to, uh, reach out and help as many people as we can also Twitter, Instagram, and a, um, the video of this interview will, once the episode goes live, this video will be up on YouTube for you to go to as well. So until next time, this is Roy

Terry - AGEUcational (41:38):

It's Terry. Thank you. Thank you.

 

www.charismascare.com

www.ageucational.com

 

A Scientific Look at Why We Age? Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help with Dr. Judy Ford

Judy Ford grew up in Sydney and studied Science at the University of Sydney. She obtained a first-class honors degree in Biology/Genetics in 1967 and a PhD in 1971. Her post-doctoral work in Embryology then 25 years in clinical cytogenetics motivated her research into the mechanisms of aging and the prevention of age-related diseases.

Because of the complexity of biology and medicine, people tend to become experts in one field. It is difficult to transcend fields and link (and make sense) of cross-disciplinary knowledge. Judy’s knowledge of genetics, cell biology, physiology, biochemistry, and public health have helped her make sense of the disparate research in aging.

Judy is now enjoying being semi-retired and writing and speaking on the research topics that most inspire her. Her current books are Why We Age and the Why We Age Workbook.

www.drjudyford.com

www.ageucational.com

Full Transcript Below

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (00:03):

Hello, and welcome to another episode of age UK national podcast. I'm Roy I'm Terry. So you know, this podcast, it's a, we've just started it here recently. And what we're trying to do is bring you information on aging. Uh, we're bringing you information for the aging themselves, for their caregivers, for adult children, and, uh, for some of us that are in the aging process to try to help us age better. So today we are fortunate enough to have Dr. Judy Ford with us. Uh, she grew up in Sydney and studied science at the university of Sydney. She obtained her first class honors degree in biology and genetics in 1967 and a PhD in 1971. Her post-doctoral work in embryo ology. Then 25 years in clinical site, cytogenics motivated her research into the mechanisms of aging and the prevention of age-related to see diseases because of the complexity of biology and medicine.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (01:08):

People tend to become experts in one field. It's difficult to transcend fields and link and make sense out of cross-disciplinary knowledge, Judy's knowledge of genetics, cell biology, physiology, biochemistry, and public health have helped her to make sense out in the disparate research in aging, Judy is now enjoying being semi-retired and she is writing and speaking on the research topics that most inspire her in her current books, she has are why we age. And she has a workbook while we age that the wine we age workbook that goes with that. So Judy, thanks so much for joining us today. And I must say your, uh, your, uh, bio ranks as one of the top with the longest hardest words. So far. Yeah. Yeah. And I even read through that a few times just to make sure I can see them. Oh, no, no. Well, thanks so much.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (02:13):

So, um, talk to us a little bit about, uh, you know, what got you to, what inspired you to write the wine we age and cannot kind of walk us through what that goes through, what that entails.

Dr. Judy (02:27):

All right. So why I was, well, I was in a spot, right? Why we age? Because I done a lot of research and I published quite a few papers over the years, but, you know, um, in the last 10 years of my employment, I was working as a, as a lecturer to PhD students, teaching them how to be better PhD students. And I, wasn't getting very many opportunities to do research and really these days to get people to really your research work, you have to write a lot of papers that are really almost on the same thing. So you, when you look at the literature and you look at papers by person a who's done very well. You see that actually there's a real, there's a, quite a lot of overlap between their papers now. No, I wasn't in a position to do that, but I had figured out, I thought, um, with the help of other people's data and all sorts of things, um, a lot of the mechanisms of aging that really weren't translating into other people's knowledge, you know, so I felt that in order to try and get my whole thinking together, I needed to write a book.

Dr. Judy (03:47):

And then I had to try and think who is my audience. And, and that is a little bit of a problem. So I think my audience, ah, for the, at least for the first part of the book, um, my audience is people who have some sort of science or health background who knows some of the words and the who, who appreciate the whole sort of genre. Well, I have to say that in the past year with COVID, everyone seems to be hearing all these huge words that I wouldn't dare to give people. And, and, uh, and I think there's probably at least a greater expectation that people will understand many of the words that I've been trying to sort of pussyfoot around and simplify. Right. Anyway, I was also asked to give some talks here to recall the university of the third age. And so those are a lot of the people who attend those meetings are people who have had various sorts of science backgrounds.

Dr. Judy (04:53):

And so I felt that they, they were people who would be able to understand this. Okay. But so the first part of the book, um, attempts to explain about cells and cell division and what actually happens in the aging process and why indeed aging is inevitable. You know, so we, we start as one cell and then now cells are going to divide the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times and various stages within our body will have millions and millions and millions of cells, some of which is, uh, destruct self-destructing every day. Um, and so basically then this is inevitable because we're going to run out of cells. Um, so that cells have a limited capacity to divide and that, you know, one day, one day they just won't be in the capacity lift. And, and in an ideal situation where we very, very healthy, um, we'll just be, uh, as a small, um, maybe probably smaller, um, this active version of ourselves.

Dr. Judy (06:13):

And then we will die in our sleep if we could avoid all those age related diseases. But the aging process is so, um, produces high levels of what we know is called inflammation, but this inflammation it's. So it's the thing that really causes our downfall. And so my book is a lot about how to reduce inflammation, but, um, so the first part of the book is, is the theory. And it's putting together my thoughts, um, my published work and would publish work of other people to create sort of a whole theory of aging. And then the rest of the book. Um, I actually looked at a website called, um, uh, I've forgotten the name of the website again. Um, it's the world statistics, um, and it's state of number 192 countries of the order of the countries in, in deaths. Um, so you know, which, which are the top, which is which country has the highest rate of deaths from cardiovascular disease and then which country has the lowest rate.

Dr. Judy (07:33):

And so from looking at that information and, and then just going in personally and looking at the lifestyles of the people in those countries and comparing it with what's already been published in the scientific literature. I have tried to figure out what I've been major, not, not probably the only, but the major courses and the major preventative things for each of these, um, top killers and, and make some suggestions of how, in addition to everything else, I say, how you might make your life healthier and more than you'll live longer, live longer in a better healthier state.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (08:22):

Yeah. And it's funny you bring up inflammation because, uh, you know, the more that we talk about this, these subs in the subject of aging, but also, you know, things that go wrong with this, with cancer and with other things, it, it all seems to lead back to, uh, inflammation is really a huge catalyst for most of the things that go wrong with us.

Dr. Judy (08:44):

That's right. And inflammation is coolers primarily. And so there are some other factors, but the primary cause is cells reaching what is called telomere limit now. So yeah. Be with her, I've heard about Lumeris. And so heard about people getting paid, not prizes for discovering telomerase. We've heard about some people spruiking telomerase is something you should take to extend your television, which I think is a seriously bad idea. Um, but so the, so we go back to basics the end of the day about chromosomes have got little knobs on them and these little knobs are telomeres. And when I first started doing genetics, um, we'd only just heard about telomeres. And we thought that they were to stop chromosomes from S ins from sticking to one another. Anyway, gradually over the years, it's turned out that the telomeres have an important role in the spacial elements themselves anyway.

Dr. Judy (09:58):

Um, but they also have an important role in DNA replication. And so every time a cell divides prior to that division, all the chromosomes have to replicate their DNA. And the kilometer is an essential component of being able to replicate the DNA, but in replicating the DNA of the process, isn't quite perfect. A little bit of a Tillman gets chopped off. And so you can only have so many pieces of your telomeres chopped off in any cell before that cell becomes defunct and can't divide it. Okay. And so, um, once the Chilean air is chopped off, that cell has two possible things that can happen too, can either undergo a process called apoptosis where it's self-destructs and all the sort of goodies, the elements of recycled, you know, breaking down a food and recycling everything. Um, but that's one of them, one of the processes, but the other process, which is probably the one that dominates, um, the cell becomes senescent.

Dr. Judy (11:17):

So it stays in the system unable to divide, unable to take up, um, the important sort of fatty acids. Well, it cannot take some, some elements of nutrition, but it can't convert. Water is a short chain, fatty acids into the healthier long chain fatty acids. And then the cell becomes senescent and in the senescence sort of stayed with a rigid membranes. It becomes highly inflammatory. And, and so then, um, the body is then concerned with trying to deal with the inflammation that's created by having all these stagnant sort of elderly cells. Um, and so I have to give one of my most important messages that this stage, and that is that it's really one of the most important components of so membranes, um, is the conversion through to, uh, like acid duress. Erica said to Elia acid. And I, like I said, is the major component of olive oil. And so all of these things that recognize the Mediterranean diet has been important. There are various aspects of the Mediterranean diet that are important, but probably the key element of is the high intake of olive oil. If you have, as you get older and they start swimming in all of them, I have, I have, I have at least two to two desserts perms, usually more like for every day of just more olive oil, just put on my vegetables at night. Okay.

Dr. Judy (13:19):

There was an elderly Japanese doctor. He wanted, he died a few years ago and he is like nineties, but in his late nineties, he was running up, um, you know, his food, 10 flights of stairs every day. And he's ruled by his olive oil. He used to sort of have a drink of every morning. So, you know, there's at least a case of one where, um, it, uh, yeah, but in theory, um, having a high intake of olive oil should be the one of the first steps to reducing inflammation, because it will reduce inflammation in the cell, you know, it'll stop it early in the process. And then there are lots of other things, um, that you then need to do to reduce inflammation. And that's, uh, that's a case of boosting up all your key defense enzymes that actually IO garbage removers. Um, and so that, that's, that's really, really important.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (14:26):

So on the, uh, I just want to touch on the olive oil for, for a, um, uh, for a non cooking individual will, uh, the question that for me is that does, does cooking with it break it down or is that still a good form or is it better to eat it like yourself to pour it over vegetables or something? Yeah.

Dr. Judy (14:47):

Yeah. Well, yeah, it's not actually a very good cooking oil anyhow, because it's, um, because of the temperature, which it sort of heats. So, um, it's, it's something to put on your salads, but you can just put it all, anything. No. And, uh, so, and it really, you must make sure he got the extra-virgin, um, and that it hasn't been processed. It needs to be, you know, cold pressed oil, but it good, really good quality. And then there are hardly have been some, you know, skiing scams going on in the world that's around with everything at school. So, but apparently in America and in Australia, we didn't have the best regulations on quality of olive oil, so we should be all right. But, um, maybe there are other people listening elsewhere who need to be careful. And, and it's very sad because some of the Italian oils are not as good as I should be because of some people wanting to make some money.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (15:56):

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So now the other, uh, the other thing I think that we talked a little bit about the a few weeks ago was didn't some of your research lead, uh, through Ireland when there a group that did some research. That was very interesting. Scotland or Scotland maybe.

Dr. Judy (16:16):

Oh, ah, all right. Yes, yes. Um, Scotland. Um, okay. So these are actually people who did the work. So when, so what happened to me was I was working alone, being revitalized premise zones and analyze cell division and doing a lot of work, um, in the reproductive area, really. So I was sort of, my first word was really, um, it was probably because of the work I was doing and I was very motivated to, to understand what it was that seemed to suddenly happen when women were 40, that guy's in a high risk of having a child with down syndrome or lots of miscarriages. And then shortly after that infertility. Um, so I was interested. I, I had a few years where I didn't do any research at all. And then I was given the opportunity to do some research one day a week, but I didn't have any laboratory to actually do any research.

Dr. Judy (17:20):

So, um, the only thing I can to me was to analyze other people's data. So I research went through and researched the literature. What have been recently to see whether anybody that at key changes in physiology that had the word hearing in that age group, um, in women, but possibly men as well. And so I, I came across, the only thing I could find, um, was this brilliant and huge study that was done in Dundee in Scotland, um, where they had taken, um, some, just a little sample of fat from adipose tissue in the upper arm of, of a very large number of people. And they tell you that a lot of data about those people. Um, and so they had published, um, you know, various graphs. And when I looked at them, I could see that they were huge changes that were occurring in fat metabolism.

Dr. Judy (18:31):

There were obviously starting around sort of age 40th. Anyway, I wrote to these people and I was very lucky, um, to get a response, um, from a person called, um, Dr. [inaudible], who I have not had the pleasure of meeting in person. And he was kind enough to say he had done the laboratory work and that, um, when he was able, was he was working in different places at this stage, in the same institution. I think he said that when he got back, he would try and find the data and send it to me. So with, um, the head of departments approval and with some removal of anything that I shouldn't have been aware of, um, I, I received data from all the women in the study, and then I was able to analyze it in a different way and, um, with the help of a statistician here in what she was doing.

Dr. Judy (19:35):

And, um, to discover that, in fact, what we were really looking at was, was changes in fat metabolism in each of the key, they called a mega groups of fatty acids. And you could see that what was happening was that there was, um, a reduction in the conversion through, in the, each of these fatty acid pathways. That was, that was starting at this time in middle-age, um, that was associated with reproductive problems. So from that was where I sort of then, um, was able to start looking at cells and, and being able to understand that this was really the key aspect of the key aspect of the underlying aging and how one thing was leading to the other, that sort of age fatty acid changes would have occurred that they were carrying within all the cells. And then these changes inevitably made the cells became inflammatory, um, and underwent senescence, I should say. But, um, going back to the earliest stages when I was doing tissue culture in the early 1970s, was it, you said [inaudible] was a guy called Haisley,

Dr. Judy (21:09):

Uh, when it was still a guy called Heidrick, I think I met him. I met him just a few years ago, um, at a conference, but he, he realized that if he took the cells of a young person and you put them in culture, they could live in culture first, you know, certain number of generations. And then if you took the cells of the child, baby child, and then an adult that in culture, in these stalls would last less time, the older the donor was. So the ones that the baby would last longest land by the time you took cells from sort of even a teenager, they weren't lasting a long time in culture. And he called this a phenomenon, then the Hayflick limit. But, but I was able to use his sort of knowledge from back then to realize that it was when cells were reaching this Hayflick limit, that they were becoming senescent.

Dr. Judy (22:17):

And then I was able to tie it in with the knowledge then that was around about kilometers and tearing the structure and sort of make sense of it all. So, um, in, in one way, I think why we age has got this theory together, um, in a comprehensive way now, I think is sort of able to be understood by, by both sort of, um, people who are in interested. I know that I know that some of my good friends to have come up totally through the arts faculties were not interested in reading this section in the book. They liked the other sections of the book [inaudible], but anyone who has a little bit of a science sort of bent, um, finds this disperse part very interesting. Um, but some people have have said, you know, it's not easy going, you have to read it with care and that's.

Dr. Judy (23:21):

Um, and so then yes, so because of all of this, um, I really want to change people's lives. And so that's why I then recently decided to create the workbook so that I could take the messages out of each of the chapters that I didn't think many people were actually taking home and then put them in the workbook. So it was possible to, to really understand what I was getting at. So I didn't want you just to understand the theory. I want you to understand how the theory could hopefully impact on you when a alive

Terry (24:00):

And the actions that you can take. Right. I mean, cause it's never too late to start working on trying to, um, you know, like with the olive oil and all of that stuff, right?

Dr. Judy (24:15):

No, well, I think, um, you know, it, the later you get the harder it is to make a big impact. So obviously if you're able to start earlier, you know, so if I could get people, but the trouble is people don't think about AGM play star. Yeah. Young people think they're immortal, you know, despite all evidence, the country, they think they get on him forever. Um, and that is really only when people stop nursing, you know? So I'm sort of thinking, well, probably not many people under 40 are going to take my shows with this book, but I would love the 40 year olds to really take it seriously because I think they could seriously change their lives, but really, you know, you really need to really is start, you know, a gut, however. Yes. Um, but, um, yeah, I think, I think even at my old age, um, Oh, well I think the message, there are many of the messages that are really important that every age, so, but yeah. Probably could have more impact if you took some of them earlier. Yeah. You might be able to stop and stop the arthritis and things if you started a bit earlier.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (25:38):

Yeah. So our message would be that, uh, contrary to your belief, you are going to grow old. So you might as well go ahead and plant plan for it early. Right. Right. So, uh, you did find some interesting information about one of my favorite things to have on Saturday morning. Wasn't uh, didn't uh, maple syrup. Is that, am I correct in that it played into your research somehow?

Dr. Judy (26:05):

Yeah. Yeah. I thought they syrup was important, so, okay. So in the second half of the book, you know what I'm using these worlds statistics, um, I looked at who in the world had the highest rates in various diseases. So in the case of stroke, um, the highest rates are in countries that have very, very high rates in fiction. So Indonesia, Sierra Leone, where they're, they're they countries where there's lots of flooding and there's lots of insect vectors and lots of infectious diseases, you know, and we all know that when you, when you traveled to those countries, you like, or you get sick. Right. So, so there are very high rates of infection. Now, people haven't necessarily associated stroke with infection that it's, it's definitely a factor. There are probably other factors. Um, but, but infection is, is, is probably one of them or is almost certainly one of them anyway.

Dr. Judy (27:16):

So what was the country in the world that had the lowest rate of stroke and even it's reasonably high, but the lowest rate of stroke is in Canada. Right. So in my thinking about countries, so how does Canada stand out from everybody else? You know, there's a lot of it has in common with, with Australia and we still have very high rate of stroke. Um, and, um, but the one factor that she may stood out was maple syrup. So I thought, okay, so maple syrup, um, now maple syrup has a reasonable amount of sugar in it. So we didn't want to eat too much maple circle. What is maple syrup having? It that's really good for you. And it turns out that it has two things. Um, one is, um, manganese and the other is one of the bigger vitamins. Um, and both of these are involved in some of the, um, she'll call them, um, the scavenging systems that, that, um, are getting rid of the inflammation. So I haven't really gone into what these systems are, but there are, um, three enzymes which are called superoxide dismutase enzymes, uh, and, and these superoxide dismutase insides rely on your having the right amount of some micro components of your diet. And manganese is one of these. And so the superoxide Disney chains that is most involved in strokes, um, relies on manganese and manganese is, is available in just about the right concentrations in a dessert of babysit.

Terry (29:16):

Oh, nice. So waffles, it is, it is tomorrow olive oil and maple syrup. I don't tell you about it.

Dr. Judy (29:30):

It's painful or sad, but I must admit, I believe my own rhetoric. So I've been, I've been having my maple syrup in the last year. There was this, I read the book.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (29:42):

Yeah. And I think you, uh, you did say you have to be careful. There has to be true, authentic maple syrup, not a factory retreat in order to have the right ingredients

Dr. Judy (29:52):

And look, these, um, these elements that we need. Um, the other cue, a couple of things, and Meg will magnesium as well and manganese, or we need for the function of these, these metallothionein signs, um, you know, the trace elements. So the things that are called trace elements, and one of the problems these days is that, um, with the reuse of soil and the overgrowth was agriculture, um, we're, we're, we're probably deficient in a lot of these trace elements. And then we, and that's why we're getting so much increase in the front. The reason for getting so much increase in a lot of diseases, but they are trace elements. So we don't want to take too much of them. So it's just getting it right. And that's why I think it's bigger. If you can eat foods that, that have, you know, enough of them in without sort of taking them as extras.

Dr. Judy (30:56):

So it's a tricky one and the other, um, them, my, my major, well, my major sort of, um, detoxifier is, um, a chemical called collusion silence, which is a glitter violence system. So we have these, uh, these other systems that work mostly through the mitochondria and energy systems and then sort of are very much cleaner. And then the real sort of total garbage collector cleaner is clearly the siren. And that requires, um, a lot of sofa. And so if you don't have enough sofa in our diet, then the sofa is taken out of our cartilage and that causes us to have osteoarthritis. Oh, wow. So, uh, yeah. And so when we look at, um, studies that are done on old horses, for instance, you know, old horses, like old people, um, get onto your arthritis. And so they've been able to show that the amount of sofa in the college is, is reduced by a good 30% or more because they're aging.

Dr. Judy (32:17):

So we need to have an intake of foods that have high amounts and so forth. Um, and unfortunately, um, the foods that we used to eat, um, a lot of awful, awful, awful eggs. So some of the foods have a lot of sulfur in them are eggs, awful, almost all awful. But fortunately for me, um, sea food, not fish so much some fish that, um, so, um, prawns, mollusks, lobsters, all those sorts of things. And I liked [inaudible] color shrimp. I liked to have them. I, I buy a small amount. I have them on Fridays and Saturdays. That's my, my porn core days of the week. I also take a supplement of sofa called MES M and don't ask me what that stands for when I was getting a bit wrong. Um, but that's a form of organic salsa. And you will know that, um, a lot of, uh, people have promoted taking glucosamine and chondroitin. Now they are also promoted because they are components of carpets that have sulfur in them, but they are very large molecules and they are reasonably poorly absorbed by the body. So the body absorbs, um, organic sulfur MSM, um, is a better, a better source of, um, sofa. It's also good, you know, to get, to get it from food, but I don't think you'd get enough food mostly to support these, you know, heavy legs.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (34:13):

Yeah. One thing too, that, uh, you know, we, we use ourself as there are a lot of apps or computer programs that we'll look at a lot of these micronutrients, like you're talking about. So, you know, my advice is always to, uh, you know, get a, um, get, just enter your food into these for a few days. It'll give you a really, yeah. It'll give you a really good view. And like, we've done, you know, we see where we are short on some micronutrients that we need to beef up. And usually it turns out it's, you know, in the greens, the spinaches, the kales, things like that, that have a lot of these good nutrients. So anyway, I just always recommend that way, you know, what your, your intake is, and it's always better to intake through the natural, through the foods. Yeah. And then, uh, you can always go to your doctor and show them what your nutrient levels are based on your diet. And then, you know, they can help you adjust that if necessary.

Dr. Judy (35:16):

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure where the doctors are. Oh, depending on him, you'd go to somebody. Who's a really specialist nutritionist. They probably quite good. Yeah. But I, I, I think that a lot of, you know, a lot of our everyday doctors probably don't know nutrition. I know when I, I mean, this is, this is probably an awful thing to say, but when I worked at the hospital, which I worked with naming, um, and I worked there for 20 years. And when, when you went at lunchtime and you looked at who was buying what, it was really quite funny because the people who bought the worst food, um, were the doctors. Yeah. They were buying all the fatty sort of pies and things. Um, and the people who were buying the best food were the scientists. And then, uh, the nurses were pretty old and, and in the days of smoking, you know, smoking by nurses and doctors was just amazing. So, um, I, I haven't, I, haven't got a really excellent view of, uh, of at least the past nutrition and behavior doctors might be all for now, but yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (36:43):

Yeah. And, uh, it's always good to, you can reach out to a registered dietician. I think they have a lot of the educational background for that as well.

Dr. Judy (36:51):

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're very motivated about freedom and also they're motivated about helping you get that balance, that move will work for you. So I think, yes, I think the dietician is probably the better option.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (37:08):

So I do have a question that what you talked about earlier, the, um, on the infection leading to stroke, I just wonder was that like an immediate reaction? Like I get the infection and then I have a stroke, or is this, that people that may have got some infection 10 or 15 years ago that makes them more susceptible to stroke as they get older? Was there any delineation in that, in the research?

Dr. Judy (37:36):

The question I go question, I look, there's an awful lot of research on stroke and I, I, I'm no expert, one thing I can tell you is that there is a strong association with dental health and stroke and susceptibilities of stroke. And so you've got poor dental health. You've got ragingly high numbers of Micheal organisms in your mouth, right. And of course, if you have poor gum health, those organisms get into your bloodstream. So, you know, so we're not necessarily talking about having something that's, you know, a one diagnosable infection we might be talking about having a very high, low of a variety of bacteria in your system.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (38:29):

Okay. Yeah. And you know, that's one where in the States that we are very deficient with the older population is delivering, you know, the proper amount of dental care. And like you said, it is, it's a place that, uh, you know, if I remember my science correctly, I think that, uh, heart disease can even start in your mouth as well.

Dr. Judy (38:55):

Absolutely. And I can add, you can definitely, because there are definitely some forms of cardiovascular disease that are caused by infection. Yeah. Look, it's, I think, you know, in Australia, um, we we've been there. We've got, we've had, uh, you know, uh, uh, uh, funded government funded medical system for a very long time. Yeah. And that's great in that you can go to the doctor, but it is not funding dental care. Right. It's very, there's a, there's a little bit of dental care funded now, but, and there have been some childhood dental programs from time to time, but, but we should be funding dental care because in many ways it's more important than funding medical care. The first level. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (39:49):

All right. Dr. Judy, well, we're going to wrap up, uh, we do appreciate your time very much. And so, uh, tell people how they can reach out to either yourself or, uh, if they want to pick up a copy of the, why we age or the why we age workbook, how could they do that?

Dr. Judy (40:08):

Right. Well, um, one way to reach out to me is to come to my website, uh, which is Dr. Judy ford.com now. Um, so that's sort of easy, easy to find. Um, I can buy the book, why we age, um, on either Amazon or on Google books or from me, they can have a signed copy, but I don't have an automated sort of purchasing system. They can also buy the workbook from me and I'd love to, but I have to post it to them. So I, you know, so I have to do it manually and I have to work past the, how much it would cost. But, um, I would love to love to hear from people love for them to buy my book, but sadly, why we age easily available on Amazon or Google books, but I'll probably put the workbook, um, up on those sites too, but I haven't yet the workbook has only just been completed. Um, I had some friends help me with editing it. Um, so it's really only in its final version in the last couple of days, but, um, I will, I will probably put that also on Amazon. Um, and then that's probably the easiest way through a lot of people to get the, I must say,

Terry (41:34):

Um, was that you sent it to me. And I was very appreciative of that because my P brain, my, my head is spinning with all of the scientific stuff, but I'm following you. I'm just being quiet because I'm processing, but I enjoyed the work bit, the workbook, um, it, it was easy, easy to understand for my late, late P brain.

Dr. Judy (41:59):

Yeah, it died put yourself down because you know, this is buried and there's a lot of heaviness. I, well, not a lot of heavy science, but it covers a lot of territory. You know, there's a lot of, a lot of inflammation in that. And that's why I decided that I could easily pick up the key points and put them in the workbook. And I was really pleased with the work that I thought, this is, this is, this is much more accessible and more likely when people actually get the take home messages and do something about it. But I think it's, it's got almost all the elements in it that you need to understand, you know, so I think that, uh, the why we are in the full book is, is great. If you really want to understand the whole concept of aging that I'm thinking about. Uh, but if you really just want to get the take home elements, then the workweek is good.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (42:56):

Okay. All right. And what is your, uh, can you tell us your website again and we'll be sure and put it in our show.

Dr. Judy (43:01):

Yes. So it's yes. Thank you. So it's just all one word, Drjudyford.com.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (43:09):

Okay. And it's Dr. R as a doctor spelled out.

Dr. Judy (43:12):

Yeah. [inaudible] okay. Cool. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (43:18):

All right. Well, Dr. Judy, uh, thanks so much again, great information. You all reach out and get why we age or, and, or the why we age workbook when it gets available. Uh, you know, it's good stuff to learn, just little simple things like the olive oil. And it also, uh, if you read the background, it also helps us understand, you know, why things happen to us, and then we can take better care of ourselves hopefully as the message there. So it spread the word. Yeah. All right. Well, that's going to do it for another episode of educational. Uh, we do appreciate it again. We are on all the major podcast platforms. You can look us, uh, check us out on iTunes, Google podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon, uh, all the major ones. If we're not on one that you use, please reach out. We'd love to add you also, we're always looking for, uh, you know, interesting guests, uh, professionals in the field, such as Dr. Judy, uh, if you are a senior that, you know, has, um, has a story about your aging process, if you're a caregiver or an adult child, you know, we would love to hear from you and see about airing your story. So reach to one of us, [email protected] or [email protected]. We'd be glad to talk to you.

Terry - AGEUcational (44:40):

So also, Judy, thank you so much. Yeah.

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (44:43):

So again, we, we are on, uh, we are www.educational.com all the major, uh, social media platforms, as well as this will go. Uh, when the episode goes live, we will have this on YouTube as well. So again, thanks ladies. Certainly do appreciate it. Appreciate your time, Dr. Judy, and, uh, hopefully we'll talk again very

Roy - AGEUcational - A Scientific Look at Why We Age: Learn How Maple Syrup and Olive Oil May Help? (45:09):

All right. Thank you. Alrighty.

www.ageucational.com

www.drjudyford.com