AIN'T THAT SWELL

Straya rejoice! Nathan "The Hog" Hedge has been announced as the replacement wildcard for Gabby Medina at the OuterKnown Tahiti Pro kicking off in a matter of days. Ya boy Smivvy caught up with the insatiable tube pig to get his take on how to stuff ya face with endless vishnu at the End of the Road, who he thinks will make a fist of qualifying for the Rippy Woz finals under such extreme pressure, and how he won't give two hoots playing spoiler if the opportunity comes his way – a 10 point hole is a 10 point hole after all! Go the Hoggy! Go you good thing! 

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Is it just us or is shit goin’ turbo bat shit crazy out there? This ep Smiv outruns the highway patrol in an unregistered shit box on the way home from Splendour. Swellpocalypse hmaaadman Max McGuigan gives us the inside word on dragging corn at Ours on the backside. We drop in on Lobby O’Brien at ANZAC lodge, Huntington Beach, where our Changaz Battlers are sharing a couch, a fridge, and a single roll of poo tickets. Cal Robbo calls in from Chopes and cops an all-time rev-up spray from ya boy Smivvy to get him over the line and into the Woz finals. There’s Goatwatch, Tulsiwatch, mondo cones galore with Loz Towner and we finally out the low-down dog who left an un-flushable cork in the SW house dunny the night Sally Fitz came to stay. Garn, into it ya mutts!

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Born and bred in Byron Bay, Torren Martyn is the surfer and adventurer featured in the Lost Track series, which has taken him across Australia by car, New Zealand by motorbike, Europe, North Africa and West Africa by van, and now South-East Asia by yacht.

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For 23 years Chris Shiflett has been lead guitarist for face-melting stadium monsters of rock Foo Fighters, but did you know he also spends Christmas with Jack McCoy? That he shreds the gnar with Kerby Brown and Dean Morrison whenever the Foos are in Oz? That he wants JJF to call him into a wave at Pipe? And did you know his corn is sparkling even after the worst Cali summer in years? That's right, he's a hmaaaad Swellian Corelord of the highest order and Deadly got him on the horn to talk SB, Curren, Cali Punk, Foos, surfboards and his latest single Long Long Year, which is out today. Rip it into ya pack of filthy mongrels!

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Smivvy takes a trip to one of the most crowded prisons in the world to find out how Indonesian surf star, Agus Frimanto, ended up inside the day after the biggest win of his career.

This article was first published back in 2012. 

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From Fiji to Chopes and on to Hawaii the former El Nina Swell-a-palooza has been upgraded to a full-blown Book of Revelations end-of-days Swellpocalypse! Thankfully Smiv and Deadly are on hand to guide you through the swirling biblical maelstrom of Pacific Ocean power and onwards to heavenly conical salvation... or they might just call you over the falls on the set of the day to scorpion face-first into volcanic fingers of reef. If that's the case, at least there's enough limes in hell to keep those cuts from cutting infected. Grit ya teeth and squeeze the juice Swellians. It hurts so good! 

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Load up ya mayo guns Swellians, the Strayan charge towards the WSL Finals continues with a most dominant display of rail shamanism and lip destructivism at cranking-itself Jeffreys. No wall left uncleavered by his holy majesty Ethan Heeeeeeyeeeewing on his way to a famous debut win. Go on... Blitzed yourself.

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From the Smivvy Archives: The island of Bali is infinitely more complex and fraught with peril and perilous characters than most tourists ever get the chance to see. In almost three years of living there your boy Smivvy was gifted a rare and exceedingly raw insight into this island's unique blend of politics, corruption and old school tribal justice.

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He's the CT rookie sensation who's gone from creasing props in park Rugby League to folding Medina in Brazilian CTs and with only two events left in the regular season he's well positioned for a charge into WSL Finals. He's Callum Robson and he sat down for a quick catch up with ya boy Smivvy live from J-Bay to talk about motivation, form, and results post cut-off. Hmaaaaad!

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The Children of the Corn Tour Episodes draw to a close with an evening of skitz real talk from the impact zones of Australia's most brutal slabs. Be held down at The Right, feel the impact of bone on rock at Cyclops and immerse your frontal lobes in the healing wisdom of two beloved Australian lords of core. A must-listen for the ages! UTFS!

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