AIN'T THAT SWELL

The World Title favourites went Hmaaaaaaaaad in Rio, removing the gloves for a good old face slapping bonanza upon the rest of the dreamers who make up the Woz tours. But who got the best waves? Who surfed the best heat? And who melted like a backwards-over-the-falls-White-Chocolate-special in the land of the anal flossing dot thong? Smiv and Deadly investigate as only pure tour nerds can.

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Come one, come all, come Steyne! Manly’s most famous and infamous Pub hosts Smivvy and Deadly 24 hours after Straya spear-tackled Scummo and his usless cronies into political oblivion at the Fed Election. And what a panel to help us celebrate. The Greatest of All-Time, 7 Time World Champ, Manly Royal and Swellian Queen Layne Beachley gets her grit right on alongside the newly minted Hall of Famer Joel Les Parko, and Brazilian Changaz-to-CT-back-to-Changaz cone pig sensation Joao Chumbinho Chianca. It’s here, it’s there, it’s everywhere, but mine for surf gold cause there’s a thick throbbing vein of it just waiting to get tapped. UTFS!!

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Join Smivvy & Deadly for a nauseating pro surfing deep dive and discover the ramifications of Grif and Steffy’s big wins in El Sav and what another near-miss for Toledo means for the Brazzo Storm as we train our lactating froth glands on final 3 events of the regular season. It’s pure tour nerdism at it’s nappy wetting finest! Bath in all its acrid burning glory.

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Lick your finger and stick it to the breeze, Swellians. The winds of change are-a-coming, as they say, and it fucken reeeeeeks! Indonesia’s answer to the Brazilian Storm, the rancid, disemboweling gut bomb is about to explode in the face of World Tour surfing and it’s not going to be pretty. 
We recount the skitz conings along Australia’s east coast and all across the Asia-Pacific. It’s cooking out there c**ts! The mighty St Mick of Penrith delivers yet another miracle to his sodden comrades. New York Times thinks it wrote the book on core all of a sudden. Full breakdown of a near-deadly Chopes boat wipeout, surf politics, Swellian questions and more!

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Stick ya hand down ya Reg Grundies after a scorpion behind the rock and feel the pride of pure Aussie Grit between ya fingers as the Changaz-Series-All-Stars-come-elite-CT-Head-Kickers take to the stage at the Miami Marketta for a classic Sunday arvo of yarn spinning deluxe. Post Margies but pre Snapper, Manly and G-Land, there’s no doubting Strayan surfing is in good hands with these hmaaaaaaad bastards! UTFS

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A mission to maxing Desert Point opens a window into the insane genius of asymetrical loon, Ryan Burch.  

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At last it's here! When the Goat comes to Ain't That Swell Live you know you're in for a magic night of pure surf yarn glory! Highlights including: The Greatest Sporting Victory of All-Time at this year's Billabong Pipe Pro, The True Story behind Goat's Eddie win, why he was forced to apologise to Mick "He's that Fucken Good" Fanning and so so so much more. It's real, it's raw, it's one for the ages Swellians, rip in!. 

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It's back to the mouldy old wormhole that is Deadly's garage for an ATS Classic that sees Smiv and Deadly tackle all the goings on from around the Oz leg of the world tour and the greater surfing universe, including Chippo vs Zeke, pro surfing's darkest day, the Woz v the WPS, Makua Rothman's run for office, the disconnect between the surf industry rolling around in piles of money and Matt McGillivray sleeping in his car, and why every Swellian should take a carrot to Our Sal's house at Gerroa and leave it on her front lawn in salutations to the Swellian Queen. UTFS! 

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There was more drama at Main Break than a day time soap marathon as the guillotine finally fell on the CT dismissing big names and rookies alike to the Challanger Series while elevating others to a glory run back-half of the season and a shot at the Woz finals. But it's really all about Jack Robbo, Bella Nichols, Neckbeard Florence and Gabriela Bryan who bashed, slashed and took flight to dominate the field in towering Indian Ocean swells! Warning: This is PURE TOUR NERDISM!

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The Children of the Corn tour - proudly brought to you by Billabong - goes deep into second belly button territory, the home of penile shrinkage, to unveil the truth at the centre of the corn.
Hold onto ya cobs Swellians! This one is a head spinning, thumbscrew rompahhhhh..

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