AIN'T THAT SWELL

It’s a fully charged bolt of Pro Surf Nerdism fired straight from the Haleiwa toilet bowl deep into your Challenger Series-loving corn hole. Featuring Whacko Jacko Baker and Connor O’Learyzy Brah phoning in from Honolulu, a breakdown of JJF’s Haleiwa masterclass, a look at Swellian Queen rookie India Robinson’s meat hack domination, and a full review of all the new faces on tour and how they’ll fare once thrown to the lions! Leave ya surf culture at the door and pull on ya Kanoa Iga Rashie cause Blitzed is all about hooters and hate boiling in the cauldron of elite surf competition. 

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It's a Sensory Cornhole Blowout Deluxe! Smiv and Deadly ring in the festive season with a visual, aural, corneal schvitzing of hmaaaaad proportions! Featuring the winners and losers from Haleiwa, early season Backdoor cone-offs, the face melting wave carnage of Snapt4, Re-Pulse, Ethan Ewing in Mex and Stab Highway. Theres Goat Watch, Tulsi Watch and Reptile Watch, and don't blink cause Smiv is teeing off on the bourgeois brah with the electric car Elon Musk. Happy Holidays Swellians! 

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Abandoned by his mother at six, beaten and bloodied in brawls for respect at the beach and in the streets, an adolescence surrounded by drugs and violence, Jamie O'Brien might be at the top of the heap at Pipeline but it hasn't come easy.  

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All the stats and facts that matter as the Challenger Series climaxes at Haleiwa. 

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It’s been a checkered run that’s delivered former World Tour surfer Dustin Barca from Kauaiian street fighter to politics. More checkered than any politician you’re likely to find. The difference is he doesn’t hide from it. Nor is he ashamed of it. Jed Smith follows the Kauaiian hardman, turned World Tour surfer, turned MMA star, turned environmental crusader and would-be mayor, on his latest fight.

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They don’t come any more iconic than Albe Falzon. Born and raised in a tenement in Redfern, deep in the industrial heart of Southside Sydney, he went on to have arguably the single biggest impact on Australian surfing culture through his seminal surfing and counterculture classic, Morning of the Earth, as well as Tracks Magazine, which he founded with John Witzig and David Elphick.

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Join Smiv, Deadly and Mark "The Raging Bull" Occhilupo for the very last show of the ATS Up in Smoke Tour live from the home of the Big Banana, Coffs Harbour. Find out who bit a chunk out of Occy's board during his first session at Sunset Beach, why he and Munga didn't go for earlies during the iconic Pump! Reunion Island Sessions and the sorcery behind Cheyne Horan's failed World Title bids. It's a typical shit show but ya wouldn't have it any other way! Garn geddit India! 

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The Red Bull x WSL Big Wave Award winners are in and our man, Pete 'Condor' Mel, has taken out the Ride of the Year gong for his Mavericks Mondo Cone of Mortal Conequence. We thought it worthy of re-living. Here's his spine-tingling blow-by-blow account of a wave many have called the greatest ever ridden at Mavericks. 

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More grit than you could fill a Gina Rinehart neck-flap with in this Ain’t That Swell celebration of Australian surfing character. ‘Whacko’ Jacko Baker, ‘Geddit’ India Robinson, and Connor ‘O’Learyzy Bra’ O’Leary grit their cheeks and give it a full blown crack in the European Leg of the Challenger Series. No shore break is too gritty to rinse corn for these fearless warriors. Sack up and have a crack, Straya! Get behind these fearless sand gropers as they fill their stomachs with fire, their minds with glory and their cheeks with grit on the Challenger Series.
Koby Abberton does all pikies proud with his ingenious bamboozling of a bunch of Imperialist Pommy Jarheads on the SAS soap opera. A Mad Albanian Longboarder rips the boot in to inequality cue Fanning and FemGoat pile on! Smivvy’s Do’s and Don’ts of ripping rompahs, RIP Scum Valley’s Finest, Dean Cook, and so much more on this stoinker of a blowout that’ll have your tinnitus ringing for weeks. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmad.

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Join us live at the Bondi Bowling Club for an old fashioned schimozzle featuring a paralytic (and heavily redacted) Rod 'Kerrbox' Kerr, the charismatic journeyman and former world number two, Brad Gerlach, and the unflappable, iconic, iridescent '93 World Champ, Pauline 'Naughty Pauls' Menczer. Stick around for the impromptu freestyle from the mouth of a man who'd only seconds earlier eaten a cob of corn he'd sodomised himself with. If that's not a classic gag, we don't know what is. 

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