AIN'T THAT SWELL

What not to do the night before one of the most historic days in professional surfing: take four times the recommended dosage of hardcore trance grade LSD and head to the last night of a three day trance festival titled "Conscious Convergence" held in a commune called "Wacky Woods." 

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We’re going off the deep end Swellians and who better to take us into the underworld of demons, drug addiction, jail cells, and redemption stories than Ain’t That Swell’s very own CORE SHAMAN, former Pipe Master and world number six, Robbie Page. A veteran of the Bellambi housing commission and a survivor of more horse shit than you can poke a pitchfork at, Paigey takes us on a spellbinding journey through Tour life, drugs, depression and redemption. He’s got his old mate, the Dunghutti Demon Destroyer and fellow Bellambi House product, Eddie Moran along for the ride. Eddie might also be the greatest Indigenous surfer you’ve never heard of…every bit as good as Paigey in his prime, Eddie was to chase the tour with his mate until he found out it was illegal as a First Australian to get a passport.
All of which is a precursor to our unofficial eulogy for the great hi-fi Hawaiian exponent turned Scum Valley’s Finest himself, John Shimooka. Rest In Peace, John. Much love to you and your family. Much love to the Swellians. Take care of yourselves and each other. Hmad.

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It was a stacked house back in April for a wild old night of ATS Live in the Cenny Coast Ice Rink. With a panel featuring all-star freesurfing icons Dion Agius, Creed McTaggart and Craig Anderson it’ a bummer that most of this ep had to be cut at the risk of endless defamation and litigation suits. Still it's worth trawling for nuggets like an 11-year-old Dion witnessing Dylan Longbottom get coned off his dial at the first recorded Apocalypse session, Iggy Pop’s opening line to all the surfers who attended his Billabong Pipe House gig, and the incredible story of what happened in the days following Noa Deane’s famous “Fuck the WSL” line at the Surfer Poll in Hawaii. It’s a glorious shit show and you’d expect nothing less from the NSW Core Coast heathens.

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Five world titles worth of knowledge break down the WSL grand final fantazmo fandango at Trestles, in the form of three time world champ, Michael 'Mick' 'Micktory' 'Eugene' 'White Lightning' 'Liquid Lightning' Fanning, Pauline 'Naughty Pauls' Menczer, and Barton 'Cosmo' Lynch. 

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We get the scoop from Gabe Medina's coach and Swellian iconoclast, Andy King, on his way back up the Trestles track, following a week of high fidelity shralping and high drama.

We get the lowdown on the unfolding Filipe Toledo drama at Trestles.

Nic Von Froth buries his face in the best bush since Dirk Diggler was getting around.

We go deep on the Albee Layer x Matt Meola Opus, Rainbows in the Rearview.

Swellian Questions, and more! 

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The most unbiased analysis in surfing history is about to be schvitttttssst straight into your third eye via the pineal gland, as ya boys Smivvy and Deadly break down the chances of the 10 World Championship hopefuls a week out from judgement day. Who will win? Spoiler Alert: MORGS WILL WIN! OUR SAL WILL WIN AND FEMME GOAT WILL IMPOSSIBLY WIN TOO! Get educated and get ready to bunker down for the big show. 

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The world's gone hmmmmmmmad! 

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We mighta taken out the womens and mens divisions in Mexico but did you see the core lord blood bath at the other end of the Tour rankings? The Big O, the Surgeon, the Gosford Grug, Olearyzy bra, all gone. Gone! GOOOOOOOOOOONE! The Punch Drunk Pikey and Rinsed Corn go deep on what might be the darkest day in Australian Tour History. We demand a ROYAL COMMISSSSSSSSION! Get off ya fat sack SCOMO!

We put our noses to the wind and smell nothing but fig jam and caviar coming from the End of the Road following a historic day of monstro death slabs at Chopes.
Plus, hear Smivvy perish live on air due to half a dozen poisonous tick bites in the bonus Swellian Talkback Ep glued onto the back of this one.

Hmmmmmmmmad.

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In 1974, three men set out on an epic journey in search of a perfect left in the West Australian desert. Their map was a beer coaster with a set of crudely drawn markings. They had enough supplies for a week.  

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Australian surfing's first ever Olympic Medallist Owen Wright joins the Swellians live from the Tokyo Games, fresh of winning the bronze.

Da Big O takes us on an emotional journey through one of the biggest achievements of his career, and the biggest spectacles in world sport.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!

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