AIN'T THAT SWELL

As Tokyo’s five ring circus kicks into gear ya boys Smivvy and Deadly break down the chances of our much loved Aussie Olympic surfing hopefuls the Iru.. Ira.. Irudu… fuck it! UP THE GELATINOUS BLOBS!

The boys also deep dive into the not-much-discussed possibility that if successful, it’s the Olympics that could dismiss the WSL into the dustbin of history as a competitive comical side bar and not the other way around.

There’s a breakdown of “Carn Joycey” J-Dub Wilson’s top 5 career highlights in light of his recent announcement that he’s giving the CT the fuh-lick! And there’s updates on the current goings on in war torn Durban, an investigation on the recent furore suggesting Brazilian World Champ’s are bad for surf biz and GOATWATCH! Rip in! UTFS!

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A MENAGERIE of CORE Live from Bourgeoise (Byron) Bay ft. MOTE GOAT, Chris Brock, BY-GOAT, Danny Wills, Swellian Spirit Animal, Tom Carroll, Slab-Nerd-Cone-Freak ex-WSL Commish, Kieren ‘Chronic’ Perrow, and Lenno LORD, Jimmy ‘Taipan’ Wood

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The Battler from Baia Formosa and reigning Brazilian world champ, Italo Ferreira, joins the beating heart of the Brazilian Storm, Jadson Andre, LIVE from Narra De Janeiro.

What a story it is. From starting out surfing on his fisherman father's esky lid to dominating Gabriel Medina in a Pipe Master's Showdown to claim his first World Title, Italo is the quintessential done-good battler. A village kid at heart who never forgets his roots and brings his battler kin along for the ride, he's a Core Lord, King Pin, Cone Fiend, Fly Guy, Swellian Spirit Animal of the highest order.

And Jaddy....what more can you say about the man. The battler's battler, world tour surfing's most adored cult hero, born to parents who were 13 and 15 years old respectively, raised in poverty, leaving home on his own for Sao Paulo in his early teens, fighting his way onto the elite tour, beating Slater at his peak to win the Brazilian 'CT event, an aerial innovator who never got the respect he deserved, a decade plus swinging between the World Tour and World Qualifying Series, more grit than a mouthful of broken teeth. What an honour it was. Up the The Giant Killer Andre. Up the Fly Guy Ferreira. Up the Swellians. Hmmmmmmmmad.

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Join Smivvy on a warts and all journey through the House of Foo. In a moment of altruism that far outlasted his short but exceptional life, it was opened by the legendary Hawaiian big wave surfer, Mark Foo in the 1980s. It remains the only affordable lodging on the North Shore of Oahu today.

"I felt like I'd stumbled into some kind of nirvana. A nirvana of kitsch nineties surf iconography and a lifestyle preference that will never get old," - Smivvy.

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The catacomb of core has been prized open revealing the walking hellman himself, Chris Davidson. The North Narrabeen hmmmmmaniac joins fellow Rip Curl Search stalwart and Bonnie Hills World Tour battler, Darren O’Rafferty on the mike.

Occy makes his debut as the quiz master on everyone’s favourite gameshow, OCC or NOT!

Port Mac prodigy, Matt Banting, rounds out the show bringing us up to speed on his recovery from a radical run of injuries. 

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Hold onto your corn holes Swellians! Smivvy and Deadly have outdone themselves yet again, bringing together a panel of Australian surfing legends more steeped in sweet sweet oceanic glory than a bagful of puckered calamaris.

Thats right, Mick Fanning ("He's that fucken good!"), the Penrith-born, Ballina-raised, Coolangatta kingpin, and winner of three time world titles ("With a hammy on a screw") joins his old mate, 2012 World Champ, Joel 'Leslie Shnorkoss' Parkinson, and Dean 'Dingo lipstick' Morrison for a full blown fizzing froth-off for the ages.

It's Iconic. It's bubonic. It's turbo supersonic karrrrrrrronic. Rip in you filthy cone fiend core lord degenerates. This ones on us.

Are. You. Keeeeeeeeding. Me?!

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Two of Cronulla's favourite sons, Occy and Dog Marsh, join Cronulla's prodigal son, Dylan Longbottom for a hall-of-fame chron'd out froth-off of crontacular proportions. We're talking pioneering slab hmmmmmadman, stealing cars to surf Aussie Pipe, eighties tour shenanigans, tsunami survival stories, Shippies mayhem, Nazare wipeouts, Tahitian Roulette, and much much more!

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It’s with heavy hearts the Swellians take to the air this week. The program lost one of its own in the late great, Jack Macaulay, Gracetown’s finest, son of Dave and Lorraine, brother of Ellie, Laura and Bronte. In this mental health special, the boys go deep on the nature of depression and anxiety, and offer their thoughts on the various solutions. 

We also talk the Aussie leg of the Wozzle, and whether our countrymen have a snowflakes chance in a Trump rally of taking out a World Title in the next five years. There’s the synapse melting John John film, theories on why the Brazzzos are officially off their f**king heads good at the minute, Swellian questions, and much, much more. 

Take care Swellians. "Fully in, fully out!" - Wim Hoff

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Picture Albert Einstein, if Einey was the son of a hash-importing gangtser, who could also pack a ten foot nugs at Vooey and Pipeline. Now you’re beginning to comprehend the strange genius that dwells inside the battered cranium of Da Cron-Goat, Andy King. 

We’ve had some big names and ballsy characters on this program but Kingy takes the mull cake in this one. The new coach of Brazilian superfreakazoid, Gabriel Medina, delivers the crem de la cron in this absolute stoinker of a waffle. ARE. YOU. KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDING. ME. 

Not to be outdone, the Turtle Gang (Nikki ‘The Raging Bull Rainbow Serpent’ Van Dijk and Dimity ‘Shimmy Disco’ Stoyle) bring the caviar and disco biscuits to close it out. 

Pack one, pop one, rip one, sip one, strap in or strap on, Swellians, this one’s gonna tear you a newy.

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From impoverished Madagascar to a pair of Pipe Masters titles, the greatest Tahiti Pro victory in history, a Quiksilver Pro France baguette, and an all around unbelievable earthly existence, Jeremy Flores debut on Ain't That Swell is not to be missed.

The most hyped supergrom since Taj Burrow, Flores graduated to the World Tour in time to catch the tail-end of the golden age of professional surfing skulduggery. Feast on his tales of debauchery featuring the late great Andy Irons, brother Bruce, and Chris Ward, Nathan Fletchers Code Red mega-send, and much, much more. On the one and only Ain't That fucking Swell.

Are. You. Keeeeeeeeeeeeding. Me?!

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