What I have realised is that up to know and all my life is this huge separation of me from others self blame and self discomfort. Wishing I was one of my friends (growing up). I've just labelled myself all my life. I am this, I am sensitive, its my upbringing, I was lonely, I wasn't the popular one, she, hated attention, wanting to fit in. It goes on and on.  Feeling I am abnormal,  that i have a problem, I can't do this or attend that and standing out like a sore thumb for fear of humiliation, ny secret being revealed.  Family and friends pitying me. This great importance of what i am. All of this concerns I, ME, SELF hugely and that's why it's such a huge issue in my life because I am looking for a reason, someone or thing to blame for my behaviour... like divorces parents, an anxious mum, so this is why I am the way I am. I an convinced I'm stuck with all of this. By removing ME removes blame and reason. It is very hard to do but I cam see its the answer.