1- Twitter fight as news is fake news.
2- Unexpected high road.
3- Independence Is Un’merrikkkan.
4- Left vs Right, right?
5- We OD’d on Party Before solution.
6- Thou Shalt Not Steal, not even for a hobby.

1- CNN No.
2- Insult. Lie. Repeat.
3- Justice for "lady parts."
4- Healthcare reform is sick.
5- Just get a better job.
6- I don't understand.
7- We’re #1.
8- Deadly Stupid.
9- Goodbye and Good Luck, CP3.

1- 'Dem chickens done come home.
2- Outrage? No, just mildly upset.
3- Black Lives Matter. We will not go away.
4- Beauregard, this here black woman’s got some questions for you.
5- Are you 1%? Check your paystub here.
6- Ultimate Fathers Day gift.

1- Comey talks. We listen. Nothing changes.
2- It's tough to be president the first time.
3- Educated brainwashing (you got it, right kids?).
4- Green Cards made in China.
5- Ethics, now there’s a high bar, laying on the ground.
6- Don’t get sick, Ohio. We need your votes.
7- Fly 'em if ya got 'em. Damn that government control.
8- House what?
9- Captain Obvious goes to science class.
10- Nascar, here we come.

1- Thank you, Veterans.
2- BMW’s in a red state, stupid.
3- Obama’s Navy
4- Portland heroes: the silence was deafening.
5- Lets talk TREASON where’s that hangin rope
6- Nance’s Law
7- FBI means don’t fuck with them.
8- "Trump a complete Disaster," says the other orange guy.
9- Body slam to a win.
10- Racisms mixed with racists mixed with racists' history.
11- Tiger, you need Jesus.
12- R.I.P., Frank Deford. Thank you, Sir.

1- Another terror attack.
2- Goodbye, Nicky Hayden.
3- Pro Life for all Life.
4- Just got back from Middle East.
5- I promise not to keep promises.
6- Black lives still don’t matter.
7- The Elephant in the room is called Justice.

1- Showboatin' with big hands will get you fired.
2- Hey Russia, guess what I heard.
3- Putin says he’ll tell you about secret conversation with no secrets.
4- Russia Smussia, are my taxes going down?
5- Remember the good ol' days when a potato could bring you down?
6- Escape to the NBA.

1- Vive Le France!
2- Sally Yates owns Cruz.
3- Comey fired. Yeah, it was the emails.
4- Hiding in the bushes.
5- SNL can’t keep up.
6- Sorry, Swami. Condolences to Chris Berman.

1- 100 days of nothing.
2- Can we get that Constitution out of the way?
3- Pakistan is in me and out of me.
4- Boston Racist? Uh YEAH.
5- Apple, I just don’t have enough devices.
6- My FB advice is don’t take FB advice.

1- I need a "Where’s my Carrier?" app.
2- Let's go back to the 50’s.
3- Segregation and secretarial pools.
4- No Latinos, no Muslims, and just a few commies.
5- Reefer Madness.
6- You don’t need the internet that you’re using to listen to this.
7- Yoga: Exercise for heathens. You find God in church where he belongs.
8- I’m going to Pakistan.