Today I am speaking with the founder of First Men, Sam Adams about practices for mental and emotional health.

We talk about rewilding ourselves.

What does that mean? And what does it look like?

We also talk about reconnecting with nature and how important being outside is for our mental well-being.

A really fascinating conversation.

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Sam Adams is the founder of First Men and Red Phoenix Rewilding which are companies that offer workshops and gatherings to create a more connected world, through rewilding ourselves and the planet. He has two decades of experience in the fields of land care, permaculture, and mental health. He belief is that our wounds can become our greatest gifts.

Some questions for Sam:

1. I would love for you to share about how you got into the work you now do?
2. Life is a journey. We need a map to find our way.
3. Problem = men are lost ('broken/traumatised/identity-lost/cultural orphans')
4. Solution = map
5. Nature provides that map. Reference points in each direction. 
6. The elements. Exploring fire/water/earth/air as metaphors for our personal psyche. Identity. Mental health. 
7. The compass points. E/S/W/N, above and below. We are in the middle. 
8. Knowing our relationship to all of nature, helps us on a healthy journey of life. What are some of the practices we can do in nature for our mental health?
9. Some of your stories and life experiences around nature
10. What are you seeing with men? Where are they stuck?
11. Some of the stories about the power of men and women in circle - Menfest and the Mankind Project.
12. The importance of emotions and dissociation

#rewildyourself #mentalhealth #natureawareness #mensmentalhealth #emotionalhealth

To find out more about Sam's work please visit: https://www.firstmen.co.uk or https://www.redphoenixrewilding.com

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Today I talk about control. If we have been through some form of childhood trauma the chances are we were controlled by others. 

If we went to boarding school then many of us had petty rules we had to contend with and lived in a very controlled environment. 

And as adults we can become controlling of others. 

This can be unpleasant in relationships. 

So what can we do if we are controlling? 

I talk about Buddhism's Four Noble Truth, meditation and a little exercise. 

Take care, Piers 

#childdevelopment #childhoodtrauma #control #trauma #boardingschool 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Dr Mark Stibbe has been writing books since he was 16 and has clocked up over 50 titles. His PhD on storytelling was completed in 1982 and published by Cambridge University Press. Lately, Mark has been writing novels in the magical realism genre. His novel A Book in Time was picked as the overall winner out of hundreds of entries in the Page Turner Awards. His latest novel is called House of Dreams - a Tudor ghost story once again in the magical realism genre.

 Mark’s hobbies include Lego - he is the official Lego reviewer for Sorted Men’s Magazine. He also runs a new YouTube Channel called ‘The Christian Storyteller’.

He lives in Kent with his wife Cherith and their two Labradors – Bella and Phoebe.

Questions for Mark:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you talk us through what drew you to write your book, Home at Last: Freedom from Boarding School Pain?
3. In the beginning of your book you talk about the link between Dickens' The Christmas Carol and boarding school. What was your insight?
4. You mention in your book that you feel that boarding schools are “orphanages for the privileged.” Could you expand on this please?
5. Could you please talk about abandonment, especially soul abandonment? In what ways did boarding school feel like abandonment to you?
6. Could you please talk about the physical violence you met at boarding school? How did that impact you and how did you learn to cope with this?
7. Could you please talk about the idea of the 'boarded heart'? What do you mean by this? How did you start to reconnect with your heart again?
8. How did this early experience impact you as an adult?
9. What helped you on the path of healing and coming home?
10. Other topics we could talk about:
    1. The cycle of pain: desertion, deprivation, disengagement and dependency
    2. Stages of recovery: revelation, restoration, reconnection and recovery.
    3. Attachment theory
    4. The importance of telling our stories
    5. Your most recent books: A House of Dreams, A Book in Time

#boardingschoolpain #healingfromtrauma #trauma #boardingschool

To buy Mark's books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Home-Last-Freedom-Boarding-School/dp/1910786411/ref=sr_1_2?crid=AZTEG7BGA20I&keywords=mark+stibbe&qid=1706004821&sprefix=mark+stibb%2Caps%2C103&sr=8-2

And to visit Mark's website: https://www.markstibbe.com/

For the David Cameron humming video: https://youtu.be/aETjM7dTWSM?si=VA7WEVL5QeMbGS5F

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I make some reflections about attachment and how it relates at boarding school. 

I have been reading Isobel Ross' new book called Almost Boys ( I am interviewing her next Monday). https://www.amazon.co.uk/Almost-Boys-Psychology-Co-ed-Boarding-ebook/dp/B0CRLF8M6L/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Q4B2UE3HXS3K&keywords=almost+boys+isobel+ross&qid=1706691785&sprefix=isobel+ross%2Caps%2C469&sr=8-1 

She talks about attachment theory and especially anxious ambivalent attachment. 

I also draw upon the work of Dr Diane Poole Heller and her book The Power of Attachment, Nick Duffell and Thurstine Basset's Trauma, Abandonment and Priviledge and Anne Power's work. 

I also talk about my new podcast with Dr Mark Stibbe which will go live this Friday: https://youtu.be/2G6ZezF4HE0 

Warm regards, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What were Tony Blair's experiences of boarding school like?

What went on at school and what did his teachers think of him?

Today I read some of the excerpts from the Tony Blair biography by John Rentoul.

I share some of the reflections of the teachers and also some of the events that went on during Tony's boarding school time.

I talk about how he was beaten by older boys and the housemaster and I talk about how he tried to run away.

I also share some of the reflections about what this means to us as the general public having leaders who have been through such trauma.

Warm regards,

Piers

 #tonyblair #trauma #boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome #iraqwar 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Boarding at age two and a half. Today I am speaking with Roger Sharpley who went to boarding school from the ages of 2.5 until 7.5 years old.

What was the impact for him in his life?

Why did his parents send him and his sister to boarding school at such a young age?

We also talk about the path of recovery he has taken.

We talk about Buddhism, Tai Chi, Qigong, meditation, therapy and singing.

A very heart felt and sometimes tearful podcast episode this week.

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Roger Sharpley is a retired homeopath. He originally worked in a seismology company before retraining as a homeopath. He went to boarding school from the age of 2.5 years old until the age of 7.

Some questions for Roger:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What was your boarding school experience like?
2. Why did your parents send you to board so young? What was the reason for it?
3. What was the reason you left boarding school at age 7.5? Did something happen?
4. What happened after you left school? How was life as an adult?
5. When did you start to realise that your boarding school experience had impacted you?
6. What are some of the tools that you have found to help you begin the healing process?
7. Could you please speak to neglect and the lack of food? How did that impact you?
8. Other areas to talk about:

• Meditation
• Tai chi
• Singing and being in a choir
• PTSD and how the symptoms show up in your life
• Buddhism
• The importance of a loving relationship
• The healing power of animals and pets
• The importance of finding a therapist

 #boardingschoolsyndrome #trauma #ptsd #abandonment

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What is the impact of taking a child age 13 away from their family for a year and putting them in a boarding school?

And during that year the child only sees their parents once for Xmas?

What would happen to that child especially if they were put into one of the top boarding schools in the UK, Westminster?

Today I am speaking with author Andrew Kavchak who shares his own experience of living away from his parents for a whole year at Westminster.

He shares his loneliness, how it felt like he “had been dumped in a foreign orphanage,” and how he struggled with his studies.

A really fascinating conversation. I also really recommend his book.

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Andrew Kavchak was born in Montreal and has called Ottawa home since the late 1980s. Andrew studied political science (M.A.) and law (LL.B.) at university and then joined the federal civil service to pursue a career in public policy. After a lengthy career in the bureaucracy he began writing books that are available on Amazon. Today we will be talking about his book, Westminster: Reflections of a Boarder.

Some questions for Andrew:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What drew to you to writing your book about boarding school?
2. In writing your book you talk about the history of boarding school. What did you learn about the tradition of boarding?
3. Having been brought up in Canada what was it like being in a British boarding school. How much of a culture shock was it for you?
4. What was the number one thing that stood out to you about boarding? Both positive and negative.
5. What was the long separation from your parents like for you?
6. You mention having a big emotional release after watching an interview with Nick Duffell. Could you talk us through that please? What happened? 
7. Other areas to talk about:

• How historically Public School boys seemed to have preferential treatment (P.73)
• What is the HMC and is it still in place? (P.79)
• The lack of privacy (P.103)
• John Dancy and Public Schools and the Future. I found what he wrote shocking. What was your response to his words? (P.106-109)
• Belonging and exclusion
• Abandonment and alienation
• How boarding school affected you
• Success and failure
• History and modernity

#lifeofaboarder #westminster #boardingschoolsyndrome #abandonment

To buy Andrew's books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Westminster-School-Reflections-Andrew-Kavchak/dp/B0BYR8PG12/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?keywords=andrew+kavchak&qid=1704370296&sr=8-1-fkmr0

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Touch is so important for #childdevelopment.

Last week I was reading author Andrew Kavchak's book about his boarding school experience:

"One of the features of being at a boarding school that contributed to my starting to feel like a grape drying on the vine and shriveling up like a raisin was the absense of any touching with another human being.

As the much-needed physical contact had vanished from my life I began to feel as though I was a Ieper."

Researchers, like Aikaterini -Katerina Fotopoulou talk about the importance of touch in human development.

Today I talk about the importance of touch and the lack of touch in boarding schools. How might that impact the children who are rarely touched for large parts of childhood?

#touch #trauma #traumarecovery #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In working with ex-boarders I see that we are so hard on ourselves. 

Our inner critic can be brutal. 

Today I share some thoughts about #selfcompassion. 

What are 3 ways of cultivating it? #compassion 

https://youtu.be/PhHJ_ZlaaMc 

For the film fundraising: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity#/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Wishing you all a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year. 

Here's to a year of healing and moving into wholeness. 

Today I was asked some questions by someone who was going out with an ex-boarder. 

She tells me: "My ex partner is a boarding school survivor. We recently split up and I really miss him. I feel like he loves me, but pushes me away. I am wondering if I should just give him space? 

1. He pushes me away so much, so the point where he has blocked my number. Then, once I find a way to talk to him again, he acts like he really loves me. 

2. Is there a way I can get him to open up and talk to me? 

3. How can I express my needs to him without him getting frustrated and giving up?" 

Today I offer some reflections drawing on the work of attachment theory and the work of John Bowlby, CG Jung and Dr Diane Poole Heller. 

Warm regards, Piers 

#boardingschoolsurvivor #attachmenttheory #relationships 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/