An Evolving Man Podcast

 Today I talk about workaholism and childhood trauma. 

Why can't you stop working? 

Especially if you had experiences of childhood trauma? 

I also talk about the link to boarding school. 

Why is that many who have been to boarding school are workaholics? 

I talk about some of the techniques that we can use to start stopping. 

Now.

Take care, 

Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 What is the power of grief? 

What if you can't stop crying? Is this normal? 

How important is grief on the path to healing? 

Today I talk about tears and the importance of crying as we start to heal on the recovery journey. 

I share from the work of Pete Walker and Complex PTSD and from Dr Judith Herman and her book, Trauma and Recovery. 

Is it important to grieve? 

Take care, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Is it common for people who have been to boarding school to have suicidal ideation? 

And how many people have actually attempted suicide or taken their own life while at boarding school? 

Today I share stories from Richard Branson's autobiography Losing My Virginity, Sir Ranulph Fiennes' Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know and Roald Dahl' biography. 

I also share some quotes from Alex Renton and his book, Stiff Upper Lip and Pete Walker's book, Complex PTSD. 

If you are feeling suicidal then please do contact Samaritans in the UK: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ 
Or in the US: https://afsp.org/im-having-thoughts-of-suicide/ 

And for my interview with Charles Spencer: https://youtu.be/NJBGrRdgKm8?si=tXZP5K7rhat1THu3 

And for episode #91 with a paediatrician who I went to boarding school with: https://youtu.be/Aa8eicN-G0A?si=x4qbGcVmvcJI-wp6 

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

PLEASE NOTE: We talk about sexual abuse in this episode which some viewers may find triggering. 

Today's episode is with author Charles Spencer.

As I was preparing for the interview a line in his book really jumped out: "many of us left Maidwell with demons sewn into the seams of our souls."

What a heart-breaking and powerful turn of phrase.

One that I can really resonate with.

Today he talks about his childhood sexual abuse at boarding school, bullying, his sister, Diana, going off to boarding school and the impact of boarding school on children. 

And what about the path of healing - what are the therapies and exercises that he has used to start healing? A very touching and powerful testimony to the legacy of boarding schools. 

What does he think of under 13 boarding schools?

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Charles Spencer is an author, a broadcaster, a podcaster, a British peer and the younger brother of  the late Diana, Princess of Wales. He has recently published a memoir about his time at boarding  school called, A Very Private School.

Questions for Charles:
1. I would love for you to share what drew you to write your memoir? Why now?
2. When did you first start to realise the impact that your boarding school experiences had had on you?
3. When you think of Maidwell, what's the one word that comes to mind?
4. In your interview with Laura Kuenssberg you mentioned how your sister, Diana, said to your father when she was left at boarding school, “If you loved me, you wouldn't leave me here” How did your sister leaving for boarding school impact you?
5. “What we suffered was not just a separation from all that we knew and loved, but an 
amputation. ...it lacked the most important quality of a home: it was without love.”(P.9) 
How did it impact you, to be without love?
6. The physical violence. What went on at Maidwell regarding physical violence and 
discipline? (P.68) (P.87)
7. “To keep his abusive system intact, Jack relied on concealment, collusion and cunning.” (P101) Could you please explain?
8. Bullying. Could you please talk us through some of the bullying you experienced and 
witnessed? (P.189-199)
9. Sexual abuse. If you feel comfortable to share, what happened when you were 11? (P.206-216)
10. The political ramifications. How might the decision making of leaders who have been to these schools be affected?
11. “Fascinating aberration” (P.6) What do you feel about boarding now? Do we need to open a debate into this practice? Do we need to abolish early boarding? What are your thoughts?
12. Other topics to talk about:
1. Showing emotions or “blubbing” (P.62)
2. Abandonment (P.64)
3. “I had been sent away because I had somehow fallen short as a son.” (P.107)
4. Making yourself sick in order to get an adult to show me warmth and sympathy (P.108

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I wanted to offer a review of Charles Spencer's new book, A Very Private School. 

I spoke to Charles on Monday on my podcast which will be going live here on Friday: https://youtu.be/NJBGrRdgKm8 

It was a really great conversation where Charles was very open about his boarding school experiences talking about sexual abuse, bullying, corporal punishment, his sister, Diana Princess of Wales and the ending of early boarding school. 

Here I talk about some of the quotes and segments of the book that really stood out for me. 

For last week's podcast with a paediatrician who I went to boarding school with please find it here: https://youtu.be/Aa8eicN-G0A 

#charlesspencer #boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome #averyprivateschool 

Take care, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

PLEASE NOTE: We talk about suicide and sexual abuse in this episode which some viewers may find triggering. 

What was it like at Piers' boarding school? Today we talk to a man who lived in the same boarding house as Piers, the host of this podcast, for 7 years.

Today Dr William Verling, who is a consultant paediatrician, talks about what boarding school was like for him.

He also looks at it from his medical background – was there pastoral care, and safeguarding at this school?

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Dr William Verling is a consultant paediatrician who has worked as a doctor for over 20 years. He is the creator of a new app to improve patient experience, the founder of ParentMed, a training resource for new parents and the lead for Chill, Dorset, a not-for-profit organisation that uses cold water therapy to help people with anxiety and depression.

Some questions for Will:

1. I would love for you to share a little about what got you into the work you now do?
2. You work as the safeguarding lead for your hospital. With the information you now know what is your honest opinion about our boarding school?
3. If you were to sum up your boarding school experience in one word what would it be?
4. Could you please talk about your experiences of boarding school. What was the food, and environment like?
5. Could you please talk about the imposter syndrome. How does that relate to boarding school?
6. How has boarding school impacted you as an adult?
7. Others areas to talk about:
   1. Voldemort and the horcruxes
   2. Sackler and the empire of pain
   3. CH – death and grief
   4. CH – how emotions were received
   5. CH – bullying
   6. Duplicity
   7. CH – Rick's death. What happened?
   8. Physical and emotional neglect
   9. CH – paedophiles
   10. Leadership
   11. Self-hatred

#safeguarding #boardingschoolsyndrome #abuse #pastoralcare #boardingschool

To find out more about Will's work:

Parentmed: https://parentmed.co.uk/

Chill: https://chilluk.org/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Next week I am interviewing Charles Spencer on my podcast which I am really excited about.

Today I talk about the interview and his excellent new book, A Very Private School. 

To purchase a copy please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-A-Very-Private-School/dp/B0CKWD9Z6M/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3V69A41C2I6FX&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KaA-g5hp1wccFRcaTahrVm0PzjF8WjkORiLbDQLS7x_oEEqNtDhvQuMStb40qY6Km9SVXOSqLffeVOZbiknegzqzff4LnhjqqT54LsOyrmWdzYzvHXngOxwm3YJS5EuvoeIY9h1W6r5B3RSWEvIUVQ.7oesmfoNitXYIPxItTHs28QMgT0zTRdT6bLorSTjziA&dib_tag=se&keywords=charles+spencer+a+very+private+school&qid=1710925901&sprefix=char%2Caps%2C2312&sr=8-1 

Warm regards,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Charles Spencer's new book about his boarding school experiences has now been released. 

You can find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-A-Very-Private-School/dp/B0CKWD9Z6M/ref=sr_1_1?crid=320MHELEHEKLN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.81PdazFBg3A7AleHD-lYQrr8QZXqwIxFOeUQIONnMvaAHp1OOHjwnFPEdjHXdQsGwITpT_DRzoK2CZeOTQBf6pju9k8AlNsIdXDgeRRo2A2zAGIM2OTF9_Yos8wdiXjjj3tSuHppUsQHf2crCpWYHg.w7cW417aM6Ih1AMJTOvr17CVXDJUf89cXELsYnBtbPw&dib_tag=se&keywords=charles+spencer+a+very+private+school&qid=1710330302&sprefix=charles+sp%2Caps%2C262&sr=8-1 

On Monday of this week I came across this article from the Telegraph about a fellow pupil and how "it did him the world of good": https://www.telegraph.co.uk/columnists/2024/02/17/boarding-school-princess-diana-earl-spencer-maidwell-hall/ 

I also received an email from the wife of an ex-boarder last week. In it she talks about how her husband claims to have "loved boarding school". 

But has real difficulties with emotions and relations

So today I wanted to speak to those who loved boarding. 

I see there are 3 camps. 

1. The truth, they loved it and it was good for them. 
2. Denial, those that have suppressed or dissociated from what happened 
3. Betrayal trauma and the work of Jennifer Freyd. Many of us were betrayed at boarding school and it creates amnesia according to Dr Freyd's work. 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Dive into the intricacies of the Mother Wound with guidance from author, Dr Mark Stibbe. 

This video unpacks the keys about the Mother Wound. What is it? 

And what are its symptoms in adults? 

How does boarding school and the Mother Wound overlap?

Dr Mark Stibbe has been writing books since he was 16 and has clocked up over 50 titles. His PhD on storytelling was completed in 1982 and is published by Cambridge University Press. Lately, Mark has been writing novels in the magical realism genre. His novel A Book in Time was picked as the overall winner out of hundreds of entries in the Page Turner Awards. His latest novel is called House of Dreams - a Tudor ghost story once again in the magical realism genre.

Questions for Mark:

1. What does a mother’s love look like? And what happens when a child misses out on it?
2. What does the mother wound look like in relation to boarding school trauma?
3. Why do you think mothers permit their children to be sent away to boarding school and separated from them?
4. What can we learn from James Bond about boarding school survival and the mother wound?
5. What are some of the main symptoms of the mother wound in the lives of male and female boarders?
6. What kinds of insecure attachment have you personally witnessed in relation to mothers?
7. What resources are there from a faith perspective that might offer therapeutic help to a person with mother wounds?
8. What have you yourself experienced from this kind of healing from your own mother wounds?
9. What does your experience teach us about the part played by the human brain in the healing of mother wounds?
10. What place does forgiveness have when it comes to healing mother wounds, and how can a wounded person do that?

#motherwound #boardingschooltrauma #healingfromtrauma #boardingschool #jamesbond #skyfall

To buy Mark's books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Home-Last-Freedom-Boarding-School/dp/1910786411/ref=sr_1_2?crid=AZTEG7BGA20I&keywords=mark+stibbe&qid=1706004821&sprefix=mark+stibb%2Caps%2C103&sr=8-2

 A Book In Time: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Time-Winner-Turner-awards/dp/1399943359/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.fjcLo9ZiQYbYRoMfinYpKlkiBc2hP-CVV_iMxtu2XnE.HVDPTdOEi7BDfivXU7G51cEX2d8vXCmZS7HCHeIrZxo&qid=1709568876&sr=8-1

Mark's website: https://www.markstibbe.com/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

How does complex PTSD show up in people's lives? 

What are the symptoms if people have been through trauma as children or adults and are wondering if they have complex PTSD? 

Today I share some thoughts from Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD and I share some of the symptoms. 

I also talk about some of the examples from my own life and that of clients. 

I link boarding school syndrome to complex PTSD. 

Warm regards, Piers

 ✅ Subscribe To My Channel For More Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@pierscross/?sub_confirmation=1 ✅ Important Links: 👉 Website: https://www.piers-cross.com/ ✅ Stay Connected With Me: 👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anevolvingman/ 👉 (X)Twitter: https://twitter.com/PiersCross1 👉 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 👉 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/piers-cross/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/