An Evolving Man Podcast

In today's video I talk about what is complex PTSD, complex post traumatic stress disorder or CPTSD. 

I draw upon the work of Dr Judith Herman, Pete Walker and Dr Gabor Mate. 

What is it? 

And what are the seven diagnostic criteria for Complex PTSD? 

I have been reading Pete Walker's book in more depth recently and have been struck by how similar boarding school syndrome is to complex PTSD. 

Reading the seven diagnostic criteria from the psychiatrist, Dr Herman, really helped me to make that connection. 

If you would like to me to talk more about complex PTSD please do let me know. 

Warm regards, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Tom Greaves is an actor and comedian. He made an award winning show called, Goodbye Uncle Fudgey which was performed during the Edinburgh Fringe in 2023. It will be touring soon showing in London in April. This comedy tells the story of the fall out from boarding school. Tom trained at the world famous Ecole Philippe Gaulier clown school. 

Questions for Tom:

1. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk a little about your boarding school experiences? How was boarding for you?
3. What was the impetus for you doing your show, Goodbye Uncle Fudgey?
4. How did people respond to your show?
5. What about your family? Your family play a large role in the show. How did they respond to your performance?
6. What is the importance of humour as healing?
7. How cathartic was it, writing about your boarding school experiences?
8. Could you please talk about shame and emotions?
9. Kairos and Chronos. What is the difference between the two? How have we lost touch with Kairos?
10. How do people find out more about your work and upcoming shows?

#humour #laughterasmedicine #comedy #trauma #boardingschool #tomgreaves

To find out more about Tom's shows please visit: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tom-greaves-a55baa23/?originalSubdomain=uk

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I wanted to offer some reflections about the mother wound and boarding school.

I share some insights I had from last weekend's boarding school retreat which we were filming for our documentary Boarding on Insanity. 

I talk today about how boarding school creates a mother wound. 

Our mothers are no longer there for us. 

I share some teachings from Joy Schaverien and other experts in the field of the Mother Wound. 

Take care, Piers 

#motherwound #trauma #boardingschoolsyndrome 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What does an educational psychologist who has spent 30 years in this profession feel about boarding schools?

And what were her own experiences of boarding school like?

Today my guest shares her personal and professional experiences of boarding especially co-educational boarding.

What does attachment theory think of residential institutions?

And have boarding schools changed? Are children getting good educations in these institutions?

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Morag Edwards has spent over 30 years as an educational psychologist and uses her knowledge of child development to shape fictional characters in both historical and contemporary fiction. She is the best-selling author of several books including her recent autobiography about her boarding school upbringing called, Almost Boys which is published under her pen name, Isobel Ross.

Questions for Morag:

1. I would love for you to share a little of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What drew you to writing your experiences of boarding school down? How has it been for you once the book was released?
3. Some areas I would love to explore (we will not be able to get round to all the topics...):
   1. How parents of boarding school children might “be uncomfortable living with a child's emotions.” (P.17)
   2. Neglect – “no one had responsibility for us apart from each other.”the lack (P.28)
   3. Boarding school and broken attachments (P32-36) (P.129)
   4. “No matter how securely attached to their parents, all children will feel homesick when they arrive at BS and must grieve according to their pre-existing attachment style.” (P.38)
   5. We are told that more securely attached children fair better at boarding school. Do you feel this is the case? (P.38)
   6. The separation between home and school and how that was for you. (P.43) (P.72?
   7. Crushing our feelings/ dissociation (P.46)(P.69) (P.75)
   8. Being told: “The only reason you're here is because your parents don't love you.” (P.48)
   9. Petty rules (P.50)
   10. The missing element of child development: “I propose that the missing element is a parent's capacity to know the child's mind.” (P.54-55) Please expand.
   11. Neglect: “Neglect of indifference in our earliest years can mean a child remains stuck with a developmentally young way of expressing emotions.” (P.57)
   12. “Our 'home' could never be a place of safety or relaxation.” (P.74)
   13. Bullying (P.82) (P.116)
   14. How the system has not changed (P.96) (P.107) (P.241)
   15. Sexual bullying and Fisherman (P.115-130)

#boardingschool #coedboarding #boardingschoolsyndrome #attachmenttheory #trauma 

To purchase Morag's book please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Almost-Boys-Psychology-Co-ed-Boarding-ebook/dp/B0CRLF8M6L/ref=sr_1_fkmr3_1?crid=29V35KQ0GWY2Z&keywords=isabel+ross+almost+boys&qid=1706967306&sprefix=isabel+ross+almost+boys%2Caps%2C85&sr=8-1-fkmr3

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Today I offer an update to the documentary Boarding on Insanity #boardingoninsanity.

I share some reflections about the four days of filming we are about to undertake in Somerset. 

As part of the film we will be filming 10 ex-boarders at a workshop. 

What is the impact of boarding on both men and women? 

What was the experience like for them? 

Today I share some of my thoughts about the retreat. #healingretreat #trauma #boardingschool Warm regards, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I am speaking with the founder of First Men, Sam Adams about practices for mental and emotional health.

We talk about rewilding ourselves.

What does that mean? And what does it look like?

We also talk about reconnecting with nature and how important being outside is for our mental well-being.

A really fascinating conversation.

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Sam Adams is the founder of First Men and Red Phoenix Rewilding which are companies that offer workshops and gatherings to create a more connected world, through rewilding ourselves and the planet. He has two decades of experience in the fields of land care, permaculture, and mental health. He belief is that our wounds can become our greatest gifts.

Some questions for Sam:

1. I would love for you to share about how you got into the work you now do?
2. Life is a journey. We need a map to find our way.
3. Problem = men are lost ('broken/traumatised/identity-lost/cultural orphans')
4. Solution = map
5. Nature provides that map. Reference points in each direction. 
6. The elements. Exploring fire/water/earth/air as metaphors for our personal psyche. Identity. Mental health. 
7. The compass points. E/S/W/N, above and below. We are in the middle. 
8. Knowing our relationship to all of nature, helps us on a healthy journey of life. What are some of the practices we can do in nature for our mental health?
9. Some of your stories and life experiences around nature
10. What are you seeing with men? Where are they stuck?
11. Some of the stories about the power of men and women in circle - Menfest and the Mankind Project.
12. The importance of emotions and dissociation

#rewildyourself #mentalhealth #natureawareness #mensmentalhealth #emotionalhealth

To find out more about Sam's work please visit: https://www.firstmen.co.uk or https://www.redphoenixrewilding.com

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Today I talk about control. If we have been through some form of childhood trauma the chances are we were controlled by others. 

If we went to boarding school then many of us had petty rules we had to contend with and lived in a very controlled environment. 

And as adults we can become controlling of others. 

This can be unpleasant in relationships. 

So what can we do if we are controlling? 

I talk about Buddhism's Four Noble Truth, meditation and a little exercise. 

Take care, Piers 

#childdevelopment #childhoodtrauma #control #trauma #boardingschool 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Dr Mark Stibbe has been writing books since he was 16 and has clocked up over 50 titles. His PhD on storytelling was completed in 1982 and published by Cambridge University Press. Lately, Mark has been writing novels in the magical realism genre. His novel A Book in Time was picked as the overall winner out of hundreds of entries in the Page Turner Awards. His latest novel is called House of Dreams - a Tudor ghost story once again in the magical realism genre.

 Mark’s hobbies include Lego - he is the official Lego reviewer for Sorted Men’s Magazine. He also runs a new YouTube Channel called ‘The Christian Storyteller’.

He lives in Kent with his wife Cherith and their two Labradors – Bella and Phoebe.

Questions for Mark:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you talk us through what drew you to write your book, Home at Last: Freedom from Boarding School Pain?
3. In the beginning of your book you talk about the link between Dickens' The Christmas Carol and boarding school. What was your insight?
4. You mention in your book that you feel that boarding schools are “orphanages for the privileged.” Could you expand on this please?
5. Could you please talk about abandonment, especially soul abandonment? In what ways did boarding school feel like abandonment to you?
6. Could you please talk about the physical violence you met at boarding school? How did that impact you and how did you learn to cope with this?
7. Could you please talk about the idea of the 'boarded heart'? What do you mean by this? How did you start to reconnect with your heart again?
8. How did this early experience impact you as an adult?
9. What helped you on the path of healing and coming home?
10. Other topics we could talk about:
    1. The cycle of pain: desertion, deprivation, disengagement and dependency
    2. Stages of recovery: revelation, restoration, reconnection and recovery.
    3. Attachment theory
    4. The importance of telling our stories
    5. Your most recent books: A House of Dreams, A Book in Time

#boardingschoolpain #healingfromtrauma #trauma #boardingschool

To buy Mark's books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Home-Last-Freedom-Boarding-School/dp/1910786411/ref=sr_1_2?crid=AZTEG7BGA20I&keywords=mark+stibbe&qid=1706004821&sprefix=mark+stibb%2Caps%2C103&sr=8-2

And to visit Mark's website: https://www.markstibbe.com/

For the David Cameron humming video: https://youtu.be/aETjM7dTWSM?si=VA7WEVL5QeMbGS5F

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I make some reflections about attachment and how it relates at boarding school. 

I have been reading Isobel Ross' new book called Almost Boys ( I am interviewing her next Monday). https://www.amazon.co.uk/Almost-Boys-Psychology-Co-ed-Boarding-ebook/dp/B0CRLF8M6L/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Q4B2UE3HXS3K&keywords=almost+boys+isobel+ross&qid=1706691785&sprefix=isobel+ross%2Caps%2C469&sr=8-1 

She talks about attachment theory and especially anxious ambivalent attachment. 

I also draw upon the work of Dr Diane Poole Heller and her book The Power of Attachment, Nick Duffell and Thurstine Basset's Trauma, Abandonment and Priviledge and Anne Power's work. 

I also talk about my new podcast with Dr Mark Stibbe which will go live this Friday: https://youtu.be/2G6ZezF4HE0 

Warm regards, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What were Tony Blair's experiences of boarding school like?

What went on at school and what did his teachers think of him?

Today I read some of the excerpts from the Tony Blair biography by John Rentoul.

I share some of the reflections of the teachers and also some of the events that went on during Tony's boarding school time.

I talk about how he was beaten by older boys and the housemaster and I talk about how he tried to run away.

I also share some of the reflections about what this means to us as the general public having leaders who have been through such trauma.

Warm regards,

Piers

 #tonyblair #trauma #boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome #iraqwar 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/