Apocalypse Video

COMMAND COM
LOAD BIOS
MEMORY SETSYSTEM STATUS
OK…

SECTOR 2 - APOCALYPSE VIDEO
CARTOON DISCUSSION IN PROGRESS…

SUSPECTS: APOCALYPSE VIDEO MANAGER “DAVE” AND WASTELAND RULER “IMMORTAN HOOF”

DISCUSSION TOPICS DETECTED:
1. WHAT ARE THE APPLICATIONS FOR AN ENERGY SUCKING DEATH PLANT?
2. ROBO GETS A COLD
3. PROTESTORS IN OLD DETROIT NEED CATCHIER PROTEST CHANTS

DIRECTIVE 5:
RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE TO APOCALYPSE VIDEO WHEREVER PODCASTS ARE OBTAINED AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.

DIRECTIVE 6:
RETURN TO SECTOR 2 TO ENFORCE THE ROBOPOD WITH: THE BROTHERHOOD

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION – GOODNIGHT

Happy Friday the 13th, everybody! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for once I’m not the one who’s forcing the staff to watch a Jason flick. It appears that my co-host and favorite Shift Lead, Mike, has finally embraced the spirit of the holiday and taken it upon himself to force us into an obligatory screening of a Friday the 13th film. And not just any Friday the 13th – this time, Jason isn’t in three dimensions…he’s in SPAAAAACE!!!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we sharpen our machetes are fellow cinephiles and survivors of the Microsoft Conflict, Mike and Jackie.

Listen as we discuss how Friday the 13th devolves into SyFy Channel Original Movie territory; we ponder the fashion of 2455, which includes bare midriffs and wool tank top/leather pants combos; and finally, we argue over whether or not Jason actually piloted the spaceship to ram into the Solaris space station.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

That’ll do it for this year’s obligatory Friday the 13th episode. We’ll see you next time, back on Earth 1! Until then, sleep tight, campers!

Captain’s Log Stardate: 43745.2

With the unpleasant encounter with the Borg behind us, the Apocalypse Video Trek Cast takes a much needed vacation with Season 3’s Captain’s Holiday. I must admit, I am very interested in discovering the origins of the mysterious Risian Horga’hn – better known on our program as the Risian DTF statue. Here’s hoping we get some light adventure, a few pervy moments with Commander Riker, and some sexy escapades with everyone’s favorite bald captain…

I’m your host and Captain, Dave, and joining me as we get our Jamaharon on are Lieutenant Mike and First Officer Jackie.

Topics covered in this assignment include the overly insistent perviness of Commander Riker; we raise an eyebrow at the laughably bad Risian resort-wear; and finally, we delve into the onscreen (and off) romance of Patrick Stewart and Jennifer Hetrick (aka Vash).

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Let us know what your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation are and which ones you would like us to discuss in the future.

The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return as we try to unravel the mystery of Season 4’s Clues.

As manager of Apocalypse Video, I’ve had to deal with many things; roaming mutant hordes, nuclear fallout, occasional attacks by ptera-people - but never have I dealt with anything as fiendish and insulting as what I am presented with this week. And from my own employees nonetheless.

Despite everything I’ve done for them – a short eighteen hour work day, free mildly radiated popcorn, and a generous eight hours of PTO a year -- my staff is questioning my competency as a manager by having an OSHA consultant serve me with a cognitive assessment.

Let’s just say, if this test goes my way, I’ll be cutting that PTO policy in half…

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as I try to prove that I am, in fact, smarter than a 5th grader, are fellow cinephiles and fancy pants college graduates Jackie, Cody, and special guest: Janna (pronounced “Ya-nna”).

Listen as we discuss how John Kimble turns the once innocent Kindergarten class of Astoria Elementary School into a disturbing police state; we debate what the age cutoff would be for taking your kids to see Kindergarten Cop; and finally, we try to figure out exactly what the hell is going on between Crisp and his overbearing mother.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to bring my toy back to the carpet, post haste!

COMMAND COM
LOAD BIOS
MEMORY SET
SYSTEM STATUS
OK…

SECTOR 2 - APOCALYPSE VIDEOCARTOON DISCUSSION IN PROGRESS…

SUSPECTS: APOCALYPSE VIDEO MANAGER “DAVE” AND WASTELAND RULER: “IMMORTAN HOOF”

DISCUSSION TOPICS DETECTED:
1. ROBO AND LEWIS GO ON A DATE
2. ROBO’S CREEPY SKIN MASK AND CHIN-GUARD
3. ROBO INADVERTENTLY CREATES PASSWORD PROTECTION

DIRECTIVE 5:
RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE TO APOCALYPSE VIDEO WHEREVER PODCASTS ARE OBTAINED AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.

DIRECTIVE 6:
RETURN TO SECTOR 2 TO ENFORCE THE ROBOPOD WITH: PROJECT DEATHSPORE

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION – GOODNIGHT

Valentine’s Day may have been a couple of months ago, but I for one will not rest until I can watch romantic comedies again with my former human friend - now all powerful, all knowing A.I. - Chad. Surely there must be a film out there that will activate Chad’s newly installed emotion chip! Something funny…something late 80s…something…Rob Reinery…

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me are fellow cinephiles and hopeless romantics Ryan, Mike, and Jackie.

Listen as we discuss the magical de-aging effect of a hoodie, sideburns, and a wig; Billy Crystal shows us his legendary “sad face”; and finally, we break down Rob Reiner’s crazy successful six year run of classic films, before it all ended with 1994’s North.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the next show!

This is Dave from Sector 2…signing off. If you’d like to have what I was having, please send five dollars and proof of purchase to Apocalypse Video, C/O Orgasm Joke - 2820 E. Immortan Hoof Way - Radiation Valley, AZ 85204.

COMMAND-COMLOAD BIOSMEMORY SETSYSTEM STATUSOK…

SECTOR 2 - APOCALYPSE VIDEO
CRIME IN PROGRESS…WILLFUL AVOIDANCE OF CARTOON DISCUSSION ON CARTOON THEMED SPINOFF

WILL ISSUE APOCALYPSE VIDEO HOST “DAVE” AND WASTELAND RULER “IMMORTAN HOOF” A FINE AND FORCE THEM TO RECTIFY PROBLEM WITH A 12 EPISODE SERIES CALLED: ROBOPOD

SUGGESTED TOPIC DISCUSSIONS:
1. NO NONSENSE POLICE CHIEF
2. GUNS SWAPPED IN FAVOR OF KID FRIENDLY LASERS
3. 80S STYLE –WINK TO CAMERA– ENDING

DIRECTIVE 5:RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE TO APOCALYPSE VIDEO WHEREVER PODCASTS ARE OBTAINED AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.

DIRECTIVE 6:RETURN TO SECTOR 2 TO ENFORCE THE ROBOPOD WITH: SCRAMBLER

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION – GOODNIGHT

Captain’s Log, Stardate: 42761.3

The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast has returned to Season 2 of Star Trek: The Next Generation, only to find itself again at the whims of the omnipotent trickster: Q, who has hurled us thousands of light years into unknown space. What will we find in this vast, unexplored area of the galaxy? Benevolent creatures who just want to say hello? Or will we find a species of robot zombies that will later be used as the basis for a terrible, ultra-violent sequel series in the future…?

I’m your host and Captain, Dave, and joining me are fellow Trekkies Lieutenant Mike and First Officer Jackie.

Topics covered in this assignment include the safety hazards that a food dispenser in Engineering brings about; we learn more about Guinan, including her proficiency in Tiger Claw style; and finally, we pretend to care as eighteen red shirts bite the dust in Q’s final dastardly act as a malevolent villain, before transitioning into Season 3 and beyond’s lovable trickster.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Let us know what your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation are and which ones you would like us to discuss in the future.

The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return with Season 3’s, “Captain’s Holiday”. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to book my reservation on Risa and make sure my DTF statue is packed.

A word of advice for anyone practicing dark magic out there…it’s tougher than it looks. Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I may have been hasty in my decision to use the powers of darkness in an attempt to bring Chad back to life – but given that it resulted in us watching an old childhood favorite this week, I can’t complain too much. Aside from the hole in the roof caused by the freak lightning storm, I’d say everything turned out alright!

I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we decide to play God are fellow cinephiles Mike, Ryan, and Nick (aka: Immortan Hoof).

Listen as we discuss the existential dread of being torn from your world and forced to be a play thing for a dunce kid with a punchable face; we wonder what kind of child would actually want a Ferengi action figure; and finally, we get into what toys we would have brought to life when we were kids (Spoiler: they do NOT include anything from the Deep Space Nine toyline.)

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the next show!

This is Dave from Sector 2…signing off. And remember, never let your kids play God!

Before Mighty Morphin Power Rangers there was…Super Sentai Zyuranger!

I’m your host and Giant Floating Head, Dave, and joining me as we conclude our look back at the weird, wonderful world of Tokusatsu are fellow cinephiles and Great Satan worshipers, Ryan, Cody, and Lord of the Wasteland, Immortan Hoof (aka Nick).

Listen as we discuss a show that contains all of your favorite monsters, including Frankenstein, Dracula, and…Satan!; we wonder if a show as wild as this would have been able to air on kids television in 90s America; and finally, Satan takes a cue from Freddy Krueger as we see some honest to God child sacrifice in a show meant for children.

Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a childhood favorite you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the next show!

Saturday Morning Apocalypse will return…