Attuned

I think a lot of us  work so hard, beat ourselves up, compare ourselves to others and go crazy trying to achieve an abstract notion of success that doesn't even belong to us. The world gives us measures and we strive to hit them. But even when we do, and we get all the external validation we've been wanting, we still don't feel like we've made it. Why? 

Because it's someone else's definition, not our own. But in order to create our own, we have to truly see and know ourselves. We have to understand what we value, how we authentically operate, what fulfills us and gives us energy, what is in alignment. That takes time,  experiences, effort and self awareness. 

In this episode my guest, Tiffany Chao, and I riff on this subject and have a deep discussion unpacking success and the idea of popping off. We talk about everything from traditional measures of success and definitions of success inherited from our parents, to comparison, career success as an emotional trigger and success in relation to someone you're dating or a significant other. We share our own stories of times when the outside world would have seen us as "popping off" in our careers, but we still didn't feel good enough because we didn't truly see ourselves. Even just having this conversation helped both of us reframe and gain perspective, so I'm sure it will do the same for you too. 


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https://www.instagram.com/alexandrascadiz/
https://www.instagram.com/attunedpodcast/

Follow Tiffany at...
https://www.instagram.com/tiffanyapril/

I heard self doubt referred to as a bedfellow once - something that's always there, it never goes away, you just have to live with it. It's helpful to question ourselves and reevaluate as we grow and change, but when we are on a aligned path it can be the catalyst for an unnecessary existential spiral. You can have those days where you doubt and question every single little thing in your life no matter how well things are going and how much clarity you have. 

When I sat down to make this episode I was having one of those days. So I decided to record my stream of consciousness and show what it can look like in the moment - me trying to make sense of the doubt I was feeling. It's raw and vulnerable, and the intention of this podcast is always to zero in on specific moments. Not recollect experiences in big, sweeps that make them seem tidy. This stuff is messy for all of us and that's ok. That's how it's supposed to be. 

Even though self doubt can be messy, hard and suuuper uncomfortable, I think it is important to sit with it and allow ourselves to feel it, indulge in the fear of the unknown. But at the same time, its not helpful to give it too much power. So at the end, I share three extremely helpful things I do to pull myself out of the spiral when I've fallen too far in. 

If you've been feeling doubtful and questioning everything, this episode is for you. 


Article I referenced about "Fall Regression"...
https://annehelen.substack.com/p/whats-that-feeling-oh-its-fall-regression


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What even is Human Design??? That is the question of the day. 

Basically it's an archetypal system that draws on a combination of teachings including the chakra system and astrology to give you a snapshot of how your authentic energy works so you can learn to lean into your true nature and move through life with less resistance and more flow. The intention of Human Design is to free you from ideas, programming and thoughts that aren't yours and dial you back into who you really are. 

In this episode my guest, Xenia Viray, a Human Design reader and expert, explains what all that really means in a way that's easy to absorb and understand. She details the five energy types, plus gives an overview of each of their strategies, signature feelings and not self themes. Then she walks us through the parts of the Human Design chart and body graph from the profiles, to energy centers, to gates,  channels and more. 

For anyone who thinks this is "woo woo," don't write it off just yet. Human Design is often called the science of our energy, and can be just as helpful if not way more than the Enneagram and MBTI tests, or even the 5 Love Languages. It's not about placing you into an overarching general category but actually about how every single one of us is incredibly different and unique, we don't fit into one archetype, and that is our power. 

It's shifted my perspective, validated me in so many ways and has given me permission to lean into my true nature and operate the way I am authentically designed to, even if that doesn't fit with what the world sees as "successful" and "productive." This is such an informative and loaded episode and whether this is your first time hearing about Human Design, or you know it super well, there's something in this conversation for everyone to learn. 


Stay updated on new episodes and reach out at...

https://www.instagram.com/alexandrascadiz/
https://www.instagram.com/attunedpodcast/

Follow Xenia at...
https://www.instagram.com/mythsofcreation/
https://mythsofcreation.com/

Human Design Resources...
https://www.instagram.com/my.humandesign/
https://www.myhumandesign.com/

"Believe in yourself."

It's not just a concept or idea, it's an action. A constant practice. One that's not as simple as it seems. Believing in ourselves is complex because our minds are complex and incredibly nuanced. We can't just go from feeling like shit one day to truly and genuinely, 100% believing in ourselves the next. But sometimes instagram quotes, motivational content, etc can lead us to believe that the problem is just our “negative thoughts” so all we have to do is be more positive. But to me, thats an oversimplification and I don’t buy it. 

I think believing in yourself is a roller coaster, it’s not finite, it's deeply subconscious and there can be core emotional and mental trauma that block us from truly believing - not just negative thoughts. 

In this episode I break down the phrase and frame it in a way that gets to the root of what it actually means. I explain why it's so hard to do, what holds us back, and my rule of thumb for unraveling and overcoming those blocks. I share examples from my own story to show how we tend to believe in the parts of ourselves that are validated by the world, but not in the parts of ourselves that aren't. 

The intention of this episode is to encourage you to identify your blocks and do the work to remove them so you can get to a place of deep, subconscious worthiness, truly believe in yourself and realize that the things that you really want are within your reach. 

Stay updated on new episodes and reach out at: 

https://www.instagram.com/alexandrascadiz/
https://www.instagram.com/attunedpodcast/

We all know the phrase "Jack of all trades, master of none." My guest in this episode, Jessica Hu, challenges that phrase and firmly believes that she is a "Jack of all trades and master of her life." She rejects this limiting belief and instead embraces all her multidimensions, passions and skills. It's what gives her an edge, makes her different, unlike anyone else on this planet. And the same can be said for every single one of us. 

No one is just one thing. But the world has us believe that we have to be one thing, have a niche or single prevailing skillset in order to be successful, in order for people to understand us, in order for them to make sense of who we are and feel comfortable. It's scary to share your full, multidimensional self for the fear of not being understood and accepted. In this conversation we talk about why that is necessary, not only to free ourselves and be who we really are, but also to innovate, contribute something new to the world, and show future generations that it's ok to be more than one thing. Being multi-faceted doesn't mean you're unfocused or lost, it just means you’re HUMAN. 

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Follow Jess at...
https://www.instagram.com/imjesshu/
http://jesshu.com/

Shedding a past self can feel like a death because we’re leaving behind parts of ourselves that we had to be in order to be loved, accepted and safe in the world. Those parts can often be mistaken for our identity when actually they are childhood conditioning or control mechanisms. So when we evolve out of those behaviors and traits we can feel like a part of us has died. 

In this episode I use the 5 Stages of Grief - Denial & Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance to break down the idea of letting go of a past self. I use the identity and career shift I'm currently going through to describe how I experienced each of these stages and the complex process of releasing who I thought I was supposed to be, in order to accept and embrace who I really am. 

We can't go from jumping off the cliff and letting our past self go, to immediate acceptance. We have to process, we have to grieve, in order to ultimately forgive ourselves. Integrating who we used to be, who we are now and who we want to be, is essential to becoming whole. 

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https://www.instagram.com/attunedpodcast/

In a continuation from last week's episode, my brother, Andre and I discuss the AAPI Hate Crimes that occurred earlier this year. He shares two incidents in which he was targeted, as a half asian, half white mixed person, and we work through our thoughts and feelings around it. 

We also discuss micro-agressions, subconscious biases that contribute to upholding racist beliefs and white supremacy and the idea of owning your racial identity - not veiling it or dampening it down, especially in white spaces, because it's important to be our full selves and show the world that we are valuable and worthy. 

This episode is heavily based on our own personal experiences and we are not intending to speak for all minorities,  or the entire AAPI community. We simply want to encourage you to examine your own experiences and realize that they are valid. 

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https://www.instagram.com/mintidesign/

I've always struggled with my cultural identity and have been constantly hungry for stories of other people talking about theirs. About the specific nuances that come along with growing up in different countries, and being mixed race (half brown, half white). In this conversation my little brother and I talk about just that. Growing up in Singapore, America, the Philippines, Australia and Dubai, confronting our own asianness & the idea of being mixed for the first time at ages 5 and 6. Our struggles being proud of our Filipino heritage, especially encountering so much preference for whiteness even in Filipino Culture itself, and what its like being able to relate to people with either our white side or our asian side, but not fully fit into either group. We also talk about the unspoken hierarchy of of asian cultures in America, and many other things. 

This is part one in a two part series. Part two will be coming next week where we dive into the Asian Hate Crimes that happened in early 2021 and my brother's experience with one of them. If you’re listening to this and you’re mixed, you grew up in different places, or have a jumbled up cultural identity, I hope you’ll be able to relate and I hope you feel seen and connected. 

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https://www.instagram.com/mintidesign/

Imposter syndrome is sneaky and sometimes you don't even know when you're experiencing it because it's so subconscious. It shows up in the form of stories or phrases we tell ourselves in our heads, that make us small and contribute to feeling like a fraud. If we pay attention to what those stories are,  it's easier to identify when we're experiencing imposter syndrome  and separate our brain spiral from actual reality. In this episode I talk about my own personal version of imposter syndrome and three of the stories that always come up in my head. I break down the deeper wounds behind them, and share what I do to expand myself out of them so I can get out of my own way and keep doing the things I love to do. 

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When you’re coming out of a traumatic experience, relationship, or letting go of a past version of you, you don’t just become this beautiful butterfly overnight. You have to cocoon, you have to hibernate, you have to feel the pain of that loss. And for us that looked like depression. In this episode we break down a bunch of things surrounding depression including masking it with positivity or "healthy activities", guilt, existential thoughts, literally not being able to function, getting external support like therapy & medication, and more. Although this is a heavy topic we also talk about the importance of humor, taking your feelings with a grain of salt, and how to have a main character moment to really feel everything you've been holding in. If you're currently going through a hard time or coming out of one, we dedicate this episode to you. 

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https://www.instagram.com/attunedpodcast/