A lot of the time it's super hard to give ourselves what we need because we don't even know what we need, let alone that we're in need. We don't always have the awareness to know when to stop, pull back, or leave a  situation that is no longer aligned. Especially in a society where we're conditioned to "stick it out," just keep going, and push ourselves, it's easy to become disconnected from ourselves and have no idea how we really feel. I'm currently working on (and struggling) with this, so in this episode I reflect on past experiences where and how I'm trying to implement boundaries and "non-negotiables" to give myself what I need in my life now.

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As someone who grew up taking care of everyone else, I've always been terrible at recognizing my own needs and asking for help. It took me a long time to finally start committing to my healing and my mental health, so deciding to go to therapy every single week was a huge accomplishment for me. My story is not linear, and I learned so much in the process of finding the right therapist, going consistently for three years, and doing different types of therapy including individual and couples therapy. The intention of this episode is not to tell you what you should do, or claim to be an expert on any of this (I'm definitely not).  It's to share my own experience in detail and encourage you to reflect on yours whether you're thinking of going to therapy, trying to find the right therapist, wanting to get more out of your sessions, or are just curious.

In this episode I share:
 
- Why I realized I needed to go to therapy
- My struggles in finding the right therapist 
- How I knew when I found the right therapist and what we we talked about in some of my first sessions with her
- How therapy has helped me dig into my own childhood experiences and connect the dots in my adult life
- How it's helped me reframe the way I see the world and relate to myself and other people
- Why I think we can all benefit from trying talk therapy, and how it can be a first step in finding other forms of therapy that work for us
- Individual therapy vs Couples therapy 
- A ton of other stuff


Therapy Resources
 
Local in LA: 

https://www.theholdingspace.center/ 

https://www.drsamrader.com/source-code-psychology 

https://www.flowhousetherapy.com/ 

http://www.michelleharwelltherapy.com/#services

https://asktia.com/services/mental-health/

Online Services: 

https://cerebral.com/

https://www.betterhelp.com/ 

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@alexandra.cadiz
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Something I always try and remind myself is that the only difference between me and someone doing what I want to be doing is not that they are more talented or capable than I am — it’s that they decided to do it.  They believed in their intention, the why behind what they do and didn't let the how stop them. When I started Studio Cadiz (the architecture & design studio I ran for 3 years), I didn't have more experience, knowledge, money, connections or credibility than anyone else. In fact, I had very little of those things compared to other designers my age, but what I lacked in ability, I made up for in conviction and intention. To this day, I attribute it's success so much more to that than to being a good designer.

The paradox of confidence is that we so often  feel like we need to be the best in order to truly believe in ourselves, but we can't reach that level if we don't have confidence to begin with. So realizing that your confidence comes from your intention and not your ability is a huge unlock because it gives you permission to believe in yourself now, not wait until you're some perfect version of yourself because that doesn't really exist.

This episode is for anyone who finds themselves getting in their own way and sabotaging the thing that's really on their heart because they keep questioning their ability. It's for all my design babes, the freelance creatives and small business owners out there, or anyone trying to pursue something meaningful to them but keeps getting knocked down by self doubt. You will walk away from this episode feeling charged up and ready to just fcking go for it, I promise. 

References in the episode -
Lewis Howes Podcast
The Venice Project Photos

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Not gonna lie, the past few weeks have been brutal for me and I'm at the point in burn out where I don't even feel like a person. From the 1% of what I share of my life on social media, or the limited time I see people in social settings I might seem like I'm chillin' and have it all together, while on the inside I've low key been a mess. And you know what, that's just the season I'm in right now.

When you reach a certain level of success, or finally achieve the thing you've been wanting, sometimes it comes with unexpected stressors. In order to move through them you just gotta do what you gotta do. There is no shame in prioritizing your goals, your self and your pile of work if it's getting you closer to more sustainable freedom, comfort, joy, or whatever you really want and value in life.

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@alexandrascadiz
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Trying to find the words to speak about the heartbreaking and future-altering news we received on Friday June 24th that Roe vs. Wade was overturned and abortion will become illegal in many states across America.

Finding an Abortion clinic
abortionfinder.org
ineedana.com

Finding Abortion Pills
plancpills.org
heyjane.co

Finding Financial Assistance
abortionfunds.org
NAF Hotline 800-772-9100

Finding Legal Assistance
reprolegalhelpline.org
aidaccess.org

Glennon Doyle's Podcast: We can do hard things


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@alexandrascadiz
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Stay up to date on new episodes at...
@alexandrascadiz
@attunedpodcast

This past weekend I turned 29 and had a karaoke rager to celebrate. Going into the last year of my twenties has brought up all types of feelings for me so in this episode I discuss my thoughts on birthdays, getting older, then I dive deep into self love babyyyy. I recently had an experience where I was intensely fixating on a situation and just couldn't get past it. I talked about it with my therapist and my close friends, but it wasn't until one of my best friends told me "I know you're going to hate to hear this, but it all comes back to self love." In that moment I had the biggest unlock - I was fixating on things outside of myself in order to get a feeling that I can actually get all on my own. I just wasn't prioritizing myself enough to create the space for me to do the things that fill up my cup. Instead I was looking to other people and situations to give me that feeling, then blaming them when it wasn't available to me. But in the end, it's not about anyone else, it's always about ourselves.   

Stay up to date on new episodes at...
@alexandrascadiz
@attunedpodcast

In a continuation from last weeks episode, I dive deeper into overwhelm and break down 7 things to remember when you're feeling overwhelmed:

1. Stop gaslighting yourself
2. You can only do one thing at a time
3. Most things are not the end of the world
4. Everyone feels the same way
5. Don't let it live in your head, talk it out
6. Use the "and then what" strategy
7. Control is an illusion

Listen to the whole episode for in depth details and examples for each point. While my last episode was more of a riff on the general topic over overwhelm, this one is meant to give you tangible things you can walk away with and apply to your own life.

Stay up to date on new episodes at...
@alexandrascadiz
@attunedpodcast

Overwhelm is something that plagues me on the daily. I am constantly trying to keep up with a crazy schedule, scaling a business, so many different projects, friends, family, staying connected to myself and filling up my own cup, etc etc the list goes on. I know I'm not the only one and a lot of us deal with this constantly. Overwhelm comes at us from different directions - from the concrete things we need to do, to things happening in our relationships, to the emotions and feelings we have about those things,  and then the feelings we have ABOUT our feelings. It's a real fcking snowball effect. So in this episode I discuss ways to combat that and just riff on overwhelm in general. 

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@alexandrascadiz
@attunedpodcast

Growing up, your identity can be heavily shaped by your environment and the roles you play - things like your ethnicity, where you live, what you like and who you hang out with. That then translates into your adult life in the form of what you do for work, what  obligations you have, what car you drive, etc.  But none of those things are actually who you are. Your identity isn't anything external that you do, its more so about how you feel , your core character underneath all those labels - your essence. When I first heard that idea in therapy I was like, wtf, my essence??? Like, how I smell?? lol But now I really really get it, and I know that it doesn't matter if I'm an architect, an artist, a musician, a  podcaster, a third culture kid, mixed race, or whatever else. Those things don't make me me, what makes me me is who I am without all that stuff, and the same goes for all of us. 

The song I mentioned that I just released...
Eden

Stay up to date on new episodes at...
@alexandrascadiz
@attunedpodcast