Baconsale

Believe it or not, Joel, Kent, and Zack have been hired as temps at a dating agency. Their assignment is to feed the submitted dating profiles into the high-tech D.A.T.E. machine and then notify the new couple. And on this episode of Baconsale, the eligible bachelors & bachelorettes are all single animated Disney characters. These are the ones who didn’t find love in their respective movies and want another chance at finding someone special. It may surprise you who is in our files, and what they choose to put in their dating profiles may shock you even more, but we hope you enjoy it as we debate if these set-ups will turn into a long-term relationship, if a second date will even happen, or if these lonely hearts will just end up ghosting each other.

 

Beep-boop-bop. Press play.

Just ignore our unusual haircuts as we review the movie Argylle, which was one of Joel’s most anticipated films of the year. Zack didn’t see this satirical spy flick, so he has some questions, and we’re going to do our best to answer them without spoiling anything during the first half of this BaconBit. Then, after Zack leaves, Kent & Joel are going to flip to the last chapter of the book and talk about all the twists, turns, and CG shots of a cat.

 

Press play, but please don’t look Kent in the eye.

Baconsale, the podcast that smiles back, has ranked chips before, but on this episode we’ve brought a laundry basket full of 21 different types of crackers so we can tier each one. We’ll first briefly discuss the history of these crispy snacks, and then we’ll share our feelings about Ritz, Cheese-It, Goldfish, Chicken in a Biskit, Saltines, Triscuit, Wheat Thins, Graham crackers, pretzels, and more. And we hope you play along as we take a crunchy bite into such topics as flavor and mouthfeel, so you can determine if you’re a cracker matcher, a biscuit buddy, or a cracker slacker.

 

Press play to get that buttery, flaky feeling.

It’s time for the traditional tabloid episode of Baconsale. Joel, Kent, and Zack have peered into the cracked, hard water-stained crystal ball once again to prognosticate about pop culture events for the upcoming year. But before we discuss the films we want to see and the ones we want to flop, we’ll dive into the drama, call for celebrities to make a comeback, and shrug our shoulders at People Magazine’s choice for Sexiest Man Alive. We’ll also be harvesting lots of low-hanging fruit, talking way too much about Taylor Swift, and swerving dangerously close to politics. Nevertheless, we hope you enjoy hearing our super-informed sports predictions as well as our catty celebrity chatter.

 

Press play to split a bowl of soup with Baconsale!

After almost a decade of Baconsale, we’re kicking off our tenth season in the best way we know how: talking about the movies we liked and the ones we disliked from the previous year. And, as an added bonus, Zack is playing this time (using Joel’s selection method)! After momentarily forgetting how to podcast, we’ll soon get back into our usual rhythm and repeatedly apologize to Kent, who apparently hates beautiful people. Joel is favoring documentaries and GIFs from 2023, Zack is playing catch-up on some fantastic films, and Kent just wants you to join him in the sun.

 

Press play to hear our top-bottom and our bottom-top picks!

Time after time, we end our seasons of Baconsale by taking a look back at the episodes we’ve done that year, and season nine is no exception. Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to throw some quick podcast stats & facts your way and then we’ll jump into our categories. We’ll introduce our favorite intros, talk about our many film tournaments, muse on some memorable moments, and reminisce about running gags. Listen as we share way too many honorable mentions, do hand-table dinosaurs, get a little giggly, and give a special award to the Baconsale Volunteer of the Year. It’s a lot of inside jokes (doo-dah), but we hope you enjoy this self-indulgent season finale as much as we did.

 

Like our episode images on Instagram (for Kent’s sake) and then press play!

I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, because there are a variety of genres on this Baconsale movie bracket. We phoned home to you, the listener, and asked you to submit your favorite family films. Very quickly we noticed some inconceivable matchups, some of which are going to get us into the biggest pickles of all time. Be prepared, there’s a chance that things could get sassy, especially after we get into the Sweet 16 (going on seventeen), but we just keep swimming as movies keep moving one jump ahead. You may call us les incompétents for some of our decisions and say that our choices were made by pure imagination, which is a tale as old as time. However, despite the minor hiccups, we hope at last you’ll see the light that not every family film can be super, that some of these decisions are heavy, and that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

 

Press play because, as our Aunt Lucy always says, fear does not exist in this dojo.

 

Hey, you guys! If you want to download the official bracket for this episode, run home to Baconsale.com.

The holidays are a busy time, with multiple events vying for our attention. Unfortunately Kent & Joel have both planned their separate Christmas parties for the same evening in the same cul-de-sac. So Zack now needs to decide which party he’s going to attend. But how will he choose? Well, that depends on the guest lists. Kent and Joel are going to take turns inviting characters from popular Christmas movies, such as Buddy the Elf, Ebenezer Scrooge, Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch, Kevin McCallister, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Some of the guests will help our chances of luring Zack in, some will hurt them, and one option will be left out in the cold.

 

Press play to hear some questionable Jimmy Stewart impersonations. And watch out for animal droppings!

Six years later.

 

A lot has changed since the last time Baconsale discussed documentaries. For instance, true stories are now more widely watched—especially the ones about murder, for some reason. The problem now, though, is that there are so many documentary and docuseries options out there that it’s difficult to know which ones are worth your time. That’s were Joel, Kent, and Zack come in. They’ve each brought five factual films to the table. Some are long, some are short, some will lift you up, some may pull you down, but we feel all of them are worth sharing with you, the listener, and we’ll do our best to stick to medium spoilers, at most.

 

Press play to count how many Taylor Swift references we can make in one episode.