Bad Movies Rule!

The first mailbag of September is here and the BMRmy showed up heavy.

James, Clint, and Ryan kick things off with Great Outdoors leftover emails, a Battlefield Earth marriage update, teen-vs-adult movie letdowns, and a Christmas movie rec that almost qualifies. Then the voicemails get unhinged: a raccoon-and-parasite survival story that takes a hard left into blood cravings, Deadliest Warrior identified at last, Toto singing the Gummi Bears theme, bear-wrangling movie magic, Reggie the Long Beach alligator, and a Kansas highway tire that nearly ended a family road trip.

Joe and Rachel take the night shift and rip through 15 packages. Movies pour in (Mannequin, the full Smokey and the Bandit run, Time Bandits, Yellowbeard, Gung Ho, Cooties, the complete Ash vs Evil Dead, Saturday Night Fever + Stayin’ Alive). Christian ships South African chips and wors from across the ocean. Someone gifts a factory-sealed Steven Seagal CD featuring “Alligator Ass” and “Talk to My Ass.” Joe gets a commissioned portrait and an Ace Ventura rhinoceros pencil sharpener. Jimmy White drops They Live, Phantom, Flash Gordon figures, a Packers Transformer, and Mass Effect N7 shot glasses.

Plus: the Patreon push toward 1,000 (calendar), 1,050 (host trading cards), and 1,100 (Bob care package + reverse mailbag videos).

Send your own:
[email protected]

The mailbag theme is on Spotify. Add it to a playlist and skip us if you want. We won’t be mad. Much.

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Patron Jim D hand-picked this one and the crew, so the pressure is on. Michael J. Fox turns into a basketball werewolf in the most 1985 movie ever made, and James, Joe, Bob, and Curt are here to ride the Wolfmobile straight through it.

We break down the free-throw panic, the locker-room “changes,” van surfing with sandpaper on the roof, the liquor-store keg heist, Seven Minutes in Heaven gone feral, a dad who is the cutest werewolf alive, a dance that invents “The Wolf,” and a championship game that somehow still has referees. Also: red rockets, Beavers, breakdancers who don’t go to this school, and whether Pamela actually wanted the wolf.

Plus Arnold recasts, the awards (intensity, trash-can performance, one-scene wonder, best supporting), and the official BMR verdict… which we will not spoil here.

Due to Jim D. Come howl with us.

We’re pushing for 1,000 patrons by October 15. Calendar, trading cards, and Bob’s care package are on the line.

Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule

Email Us: [email protected]

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105

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Douglas Tait has worn two of horror’s most famous masks and still answers to Sasquatch. The actor/stuntman/creature performer talks growing up on classic monsters, landing the final Jason scene in Freddy vs. Jason, doubling Michael Myers, surviving brutal suit days, and directing his own thriller Angel Baby. Plus Zathura practical effects, Grimm’s Zerstörer, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, and a few jobs so dumb he still can’t believe he cashed the check.

Find Doug at conventions and @DouglasTait on Instagram and TikTok.

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The mailbag is still going. We’re doing this till we’re 90.

James, Clint, and Ryan kick off with a quick tribute after losing Dolly Parton and Tim Curry in the same stretch — both at 80. Then it’s voicemails, emails, road-trip disasters, and the usual “please stop breaking the One Scene Wonder award” energy.

You’ll hear:

Day shift hands it to the night shift. Same chaos. Different voices.

Send more: [email protected]

Patreon.com/badmoviesrule

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John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998) storms the Bad Movies Rule table after Dwayne from Tennessee cashed in his Full Dudikoff pick. James Woods leads a Vatican-backed slayer squad that hunts bloodsuckers the hard way: cable-gun, Jeep winch, and enough F-bombs to bless a whole motel. First-time guest Luke joins James, Clint, and Dave as they rip into dirt-nap masters, a 48-hour “romance” that starts with a punch, a priest who won’t stay in his lane, and a plot that keeps inventing new vampire rules just so it can break them. Crosses don’t work. Garlic gets you bent over. And somebody really wants to know who got a boner. Grab a stake and hit play.

Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule

Email Us: [email protected]

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105

Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule

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Welcome to the Bad Movies Rule! Mailbag! James is joined by Ryan Mueller and Clint Busch for the day shift, then hands it off to Joe, Curt, and Bob for the night shift package opening.

We dig into emails and voicemails from Michael (catching up hard and recommending Double Trouble + Evolution), Johnny Golab (Alabama gator facts + the $2 Spear Hunting Museum), Phil/Barry (praising The Thing, requesting Vampires, and dropping the Paul Orndorff nearly-in-Rambo 2 story), Andrew from Canada (the ultimate “just send the damn email” PSA), Billy from St. Pete (new Discord energy), Jason from Ohio (owning the Toledo War manifesto and clearing the air), the Leeds, Alabama call, Joe’s “F*** Ohio” astronaut theory, Bill’s preview pet peeve (and James’s honest answer), Matt Mulholland’s PB&J alligator and Key West near-miss, Derek/Rick’s introduction + Bitch Slap recommendation, AA Ron’s Great Outdoors Intensity Award case and Weird Science connection, John from the UK’s Mean Guns pitch, DJ Campbell’s bat-in-the-bedroom story, and Matt’s nightmare Disney drive with an 18-month-old.

Then the physical mail hits: Mannequin 2, Class of 1984, Frankenhooker, Monty Python’s Flying Circus Series 1, Bad Channels, Cutthroat Island, Vision Quest, and more get added to the BMR Reacts pile.

As always, send us your stories, recommendations, and packages:

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This week the crew packs up the station wagon and heads for the Northwoods—except it’s California playing Wisconsin, because of course it is. John Candy and Dan Aykroyd star in this John Hughes-scripted tale of two families, one cabin, and a vacation that goes exactly as well as you’d expect when the uninvited in-laws show up with demonic twins, lobster tails, and a speedboat named Suck My Wake.

Expect water-ski disasters, raccoon home invasions, a bear with a very personal grudge, the legendary Old 96er, and more passive-aggressive Midwestern hospitality than any human should endure. Plus the usual BMR awards, fantasy football consequences, and far too many stories about actual family road trips that make this movie look like a relaxing spa weekend.

Grab a six-pack of hot dogs and settle in. The critics hated it. The box office hated it. We’re about to find out if the rest of us are just built different.

Email Us: [email protected]

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105

Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule

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Mailbag time, BMRmy. Full table for the first half, then the shift change. Packages get opened first: a handwritten letter and bottle opener from Joe, Highlander minis (Kurgan and Connor) all the way from England courtesy of Richard, and a massive restock of British sweets, mint balls, tea cakes, and more from Vicky in Leeds — plus a onesie and a very British sealed letter. James also has some big family news to share.

Emails and voicemails cover Bruce Campbell’s My Name Is Bruce, a whole batch of comedy and action suggestions, gator stories, the ongoing “should we do more comedies?” debate, Sam Neill recommendations, a Payback-inspired song from 25 years ago, Chuck Norris nostalgia, restaurant specials, and the usual unhinged fan energy. Ohio somehow becomes a whole thing. Keep sending stuff — [email protected] or (262) 757-8567.

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Something’s down in the sewers… and it’s not just the usual Chicago (or is it St. Louis?) nonsense.

This week James is joined by Mel and first-timer Rachel for a full scene-by-scene rampage through the 1980 animal-attack cult favorite Alligator. A little girl’s pet gator gets flushed, some extremely shady growth-hormone experiments go sideways, and suddenly you’ve got a 40-foot reptile treating the city’s underground like an all-you-can-eat buffet of discarded lab dogs, reporters, SWAT teams, and wedding guests.

Robert Forster is pure 1980 cool as the jinxed detective who keeps losing partners. Robin Riker shows up as the skeptical herpetologist (say that three times fast). Michael V. Gazzo’s eyebrows deserve their own credit. Henry Silva arrives ready to hunt. And the practical effects deliver exactly the kind of foam-brick, mannequin-leg, wedding-cake chaos we live for.

Plus the usual BMR mayhem: awards, Arnold recasts, personal alligator near-death stories from Hilton Head, and more sewer-level stupidity than any one movie should contain.

Patrons picked it. The Discord demanded it. We delivered.

Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule

Email Us: [email protected]

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105

Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule

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The crew is back with another chaotic dump of emails, voicemails, and physical mail. Bob’s chair gets roasted, an Over the Top arm-break memory resurfaces, Ohio tries to defend itself, and one listener drops a marriage crisis over Battlefield Earth.

There’s medical horror involving cameras where cameras should never go, racing movie rankings, Watcher Texas Ranger deep cuts, Van Damme impressions that sound suspiciously like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, a Spaceballs observation, South African snack promises, Danny Trejo intimidation stories, Transformers One praise, a very “Not Stallone” poster, Walt Disney’s mysterious final note, Hardy Boys suggestions, Death Proof talk, and a glorious Garbage Pail Kids card haul.

Plus the usual rants about comedies, Tubi, and the never-ending quest to keep the trash pure.

Hit play and join the mayhem.

Email: [email protected]

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

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