Basic Snitches

Chapter 5: The Order of the Phoenix - Adam knows French. Tara knows French...kinda.

Anyway, it's dinner time and Fred and George are immature (but fun) and Mundungus just sucks... (we really hate this guy) we love Tonks....then Harry asks the million dollar question - "So, how's my guy Voldy doin'? Anyone know what he's up to these days?"

Things get intense between Molly and Sirius and all the children except Ginny get some deets on what's up with the Order and what they think Cocaine Baby is doing.

As always, Lupin is amazing in this chapter...and don't worry, Tara still hates Snape.

Chapter 4: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place - Angsty Harry is here! But also, Ron and Hermione are AMAZING friends and they let Harry take out his frustration on them.

So Grimmauld Place is dark AF, and a bit creepy, so naturally, Adam wants to live there.

Except for the part where Mrs. Black just hangs behind a curtain waiting to be racist...

Anyway, we're excited to spend more time with Ginny in this book.

Also, are there wizard lawyers?

Chapter 3: The Advance Guard - We really wanted Tonks to guest star on this episode because she's basically just like us, but all we could get was Adam's attention whore of a dryer 🤷‍♀️

We discuss why Dumble made Harry stay with the dishrags for so long after everything that happens at the end of the 4th book, and who we feel may have been a better choice in planning Harry's removal from Muggle land.

Chapter 2: A Peck of Owls - Tara and Adam fail at clinking glasses. Harry gets lots of letters. Vernon is angry (also he eats mayonnaise from the jar so eww). Mundungus is the worst. Mrs. Figg is the best. Dudley is confused. Petunia knows things.

Chapter 1: Dudley Demented - WE ARE BACK AND WE ARE BACK ON OUR BULLSHIT!

That's right. Drinking and swearing and making stupid jokes...did you miss us?!?!?!?

We jump right into the action and angst filled opening chapter of Order of the Phoenix!

Dudley still sucks but we give him more credit than his parents...Harry is sassy AND bad-assy in this chapter and even though she's not mentioned within the chapter it is important to mention that pink bitch is the worst 🤷‍♀️

...just....ridiculous.

No, we will never get our shit together...

Well, we read 4 books. And this one was a long book. We're actual scholars and you should be impressed. Brian is back (because OF COURSE) and we go over some of our favorite parts of the book, hate on the movie more and begin to prepare ourselves for the pink bullshit coming our way...

Chapter 37: The Beginning - Tara has the good snacks.

Dumble is great in this chapter until he's not. Poliakoff gets justice; Hermione gets revenge. Draco is irrelevant and Harry just wants a little bit of humor in this fucked up world.

Hagrid is the best. ❤️

Chapter 36: The Parting of the Ways - The time has come...Adam finally gets to drink wine from Ashley's hands!!!!

We have another Ravenclaw in the house...and this one is a mom...who has lots of feelings...about mom things...and also about FMK.

Sirius clutches his pearls, PomPom is amazing, Molly Weasley moms so hard and Snape doesn't totally suck.

We love Fudge. The item. Not Fudge the person. He sucks.

Sponsor us, Fudge! (The item).

Be like Ashley.

Chapter 35: Veritaserum- In which we discuss the one scene the movie does well and over-analyze just how fucked up the Crouch family is...