Be It Till You See It

Brad and Lesley break down the interview with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, a sex educator and author who helps people move beyond shame and create healthy intimacy. They explore how harmful cultural narratives impact women, why communication matters more than technique, and how to reclaim your sexual choices as your own.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to make your own Pilates sandbag and what size cord works best.
• The impact of purity culture on women's sexual experiences.
• Why sex isn't static and how it evolves as you mature.
• The people-pleasing responses that block real connection.
• Dr. Celeste's four-part guide to heal any sexual challenges.
• The importance of prioritizing oneself and going at one's own pace.

Episode References/Links:

• UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/uk
• P.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagoland
• Cambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com
• Winter Tour Waitlist - https://opc.me/events
• How to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag - https://www.youtube.com/live/tn4yUcEQnnM
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture by Dr. Celeste Holbrook - https://a.co/d/3UimUKx
• I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris - https://a.co/d/38uINCk
• I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye Documentary - https://streamable.com/1ldz9c
• Episode 202: Jake Kelfer - https://beitpod.com/jakekelfer

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

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Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

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Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

People who came from the culture that she did, which was like raised in a super, super strict religious home in purity culture, and so when she got married, she, for, like, it wasn't like, you can't just flip a switch, right? So she was like sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad. And then she gets married, and all of a sudden, sex is good. 

Lesley Logan 0:19  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 1:02  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the freeing convo I had with Dr. Celeste Holbrook in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and then listen to it, and then come back and join us here. I'm gonna tell you right now. We talked about sex, baby. So you're gonna wanna listen to it. I also have her book. I'm so excited about it. We talked about a lot of stuff it. We went all places. Yeah, we didn't really talk about positions or things like that. We just, like talked about the things that people don't talk about.

Brad Crowell 1:36  

Actually, you know what you talked about more than anything else, was communication.

Lesley Logan 1:39  

Yeah, oh, yeah, we did. Oh, and, you know, what's really interesting, her book is so timely at the time we're recording this in my fucking Instagram feed, some stupid man decided to talk about stinky coochies. Oh, yeah. And your coochie needs to be Christian if you don't want your husband to cheat on you. The fucking bullshit that people lie to women about. Lie, just bold face fucking lie. 

Brad Crowell 2:05  

There's no such thing as a Christian coochie Go fuck yourself. That is insane. 

Lesley Logan 2:09  

It also, also, also, I don't care what you believe, it is never your fucking fault if someone cheats on you, it's never your fault. It's always about them. There's something going on there. It's not your fault. Period.

Brad Crowell 2:24  

Yeah, I was incensed after watching that video. And there's a special place in hell for that pastor.

Lesley Logan 2:30  

Yeah, there really is. And then I just listened to an interview about some girls who were, like, raised in a purity culture, and I forgot, I had forgotten a lot of the shit that I was, like, told and now and then I read, I've been reading her book, and it's like, holy fuck. It's a wonder, it's a wonder women anywhere are having actual sex that's not painful. So anyways, go read her book. Go listen to that episode. We're gonna talk about some good stuff in a second. I promise. I promise. I do think that the world does get better at some point. I do. I do. I have to believe in that. 

Lesley Logan 3:00  

Today is September 4th 2025 and it is National Wildlife Day. And on National Wildlife Day, hold on, I pulled up, oh. 

Brad Crowell 3:11  

America marks National Wildlife day every year. 

Lesley Logan 3:14  

No, no, no. Don't take this away from me. 

Brad Crowell 3:16  

On September 4th. 

Lesley Logan 3:17  

It's an opportunity for everyone to step back, take a deep breath and think about all that surrounds us. It is inspiring to consider preservation and conservation efforts that work to improve in the natural world, there remains so much to learn, as Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "In wildness is the preservation of the world." Okay, but we couldn't agree more, so let's take a closer look at this day. Yeah, go spend some time out in a preserve near you. We have a preserve near us. 

Brad Crowell 3:50  

We do, it's really close. 

Lesley Logan 3:51  

We actually have the wetlands. And then if we go up two hours, is a really cool preserve we can go camping at, people go fishing at, there's a fucking lake. 

Brad Crowell 3:58  

There's one lake right here, like, a couple blocks from us. 

Lesley Logan 4:01  

Oh, there is another preserve. 

Brad Crowell 4:02  

Yeah, like, literally in the city, this preserve. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 4:04  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So go find a preserve near you. You know, I know people like to get mad about the coyotes or the mountain lions that live there. They were there first, so take that in. And second, like it's, there's just something like, it's kind of cool that the way this wildlife that we live and go to a zoo. I mean, make sure it's a good one. But like, take it in, take in the wildlife. Because one, it's going away and. 

Brad Crowell 4:04  

I think the zoo would be the opposite of wildlife.

Lesley Logan 4:30  

Okay, maybe. But I bet you, I bet you, some of them donate to wildlife. Maybe. 

Brad Crowell 4:35  

I'm, you know. 

Lesley Logan 4:36  

Go camping. 

Brad Crowell 4:36  

They can be well intentioned. 

Lesley Logan 4:38  

So what do you want them to do? Go camping? 

Brad Crowell 4:40  

Yeah, go camping. 

Lesley Logan 4:41  

This wasn't very clear. So I guess take a moment to consider how you're going to preserve the wildlife near you and conserve efforts, like your conservation efforts. You know, can you stop putting plastic straws near you know, water, like the ocean and things like that. The turtles are choking, you guys, so. 

Brad Crowell 5:02  

Yeah, let's not choke any turtles. 

Lesley Logan 5:04  

No, it's so sad, it' so sad. I can't watch those things. So anyway.

Brad Crowell 5:07  

Our neighbor has a tortoise. 

Lesley Logan 5:08  

Yeah, Tortimer. 

Brad Crowell 5:09  

Tortimer the tortoise, the tortoise, Tortimer the tortoise, and he's like, 15 or something.

Lesley Logan 5:15  

But he's not even a desert tortoise. He's an African, something tortoise but. 

Brad Crowell 5:19  

Yeah, I can remember the name. 

Lesley Logan 5:20  

Speaking of preservation out here in Vegas, So the desert tortoise is about to go extinct. There's actually we're having some huge problems with them, and have enough space for them, because they actually need flat desert land to crawl on. And then, of course, flat desert land is what everone wants to develop because. 

Lesley Logan 5:42  

Was it extinct, or we're just destroying their habitat here? 

Lesley Logan 5:42  

We're destroying their habitat here. 

Brad Crowell 5:43  

Yeah, I'm not sure if this is their only environment. But, but, yeah, like the the Las Vegas Valley, you know, is expanding. They're expecting something like 400,000 people to move here in the next decade. And so they're, they're slapping together.

Lesley Logan 5:53  

The lack of rain is not deterring anyone so. 

Brad Crowell 5:55  

Well, they're slapping together all these expansions all around the city in, you know. And basically, they're driving out the they're changing the desert landscape, which is driving away the turtles.

Lesley Logan 6:03  

And the desert tortoise can't live near the mountains because they don't climb rocks. They just walk on the flat desert. Also, also, I learned this fun fact, you like, they have, they have territories, right? Like, you can't have two male tortoises near each other, and they need to have a burrow during the hot part of the day, and if they don't know the area, you just can't pick up a tortoise and, like, move it to another part of the desert. They got to know where to burrow. So anyways, these are important things to know, and so if you live in an area that's got some wildlife, maybe take it upon yourself to find out what's going on, and your local city council meetings, and who's trying to develop those areas, and yell and scream because it's really cathartic, and you can save a wildlife animal near you. We are we've been recently yelling and screaming to keep Las Vegas loud, so downtown loud. So, you know, it's fun. It's fun to be part of things in the community, to, like, take care of other people. Okay, enough about this day. 

Lesley Logan 6:04  

Coming up. Oh, like now we're actually. 

Brad Crowell 6:33  

Yeah, we're literally en route. 

Lesley Logan 6:51  

So we're in the U.K., by the way. 

Brad Crowell 6:57  

We just we just landed. 

Lesley Logan 7:03  

No, we've been here a day. We're in Scotland today. Yep, we are actually at the very top of Scotland. We're as far up as we can go. And because, that's because we're gonna take a little vacation, we're gonna see some interesting Scottish games, and then we're gonna drive all the way down to Essex, where we're teaching for two days The Movement Base. And there might be a couple spots left in the workshops, and then we're going up to Leeds to teach there on the weekend in September. So this is all happening in September, September 8th, 9th and 10th, and then 13th and 14th. Anyways, it's a Tuesday and Wednesday. 

Brad Crowell 7:33  

I don't actually remember the specific dates, but a. 

Lesley Logan 7:36  

And a Saturday and a Sunday and. 

Brad Crowell 7:38  

Go to opc.me/uk for the specifics. 

Lesley Logan 7:41  

Yeah, and don't miss out, because we're not coming back. Okay.

Brad Crowell 7:46  

Not anytime soon. Last time was two years ago, so yeah, you know, but yeah, we're never gonna be back. 

Lesley Logan 7:50  

No, we'll come back. Then we're gonna go home for two days, and then we're going to go to Pilates on Tour in Chicagoland. 

Brad Crowell 7:56  

Two days? 

Lesley Logan 7:57  

Two weeks. 

Brad Crowell 7:58  

Two weeks. 

Lesley Logan 7:59  

Two weeks. 

Brad Crowell 7:59  

Yeah, I was gonna say. 

Lesley Logan 7:59  

Two weeks. 

Brad Crowell 7:59  

Two weeks, we're home for two weeks. 

Lesley Logan 8:02  

We're home for two weeks, and then we go to Chicagoland, no, just three weeks. Chicagoland. And the time that we're recording this, we heard it was 75% sold out. It's probably changed, but I think there's, I think the early bird ends next week, if there's any room, and then we'll be in Cambodia. And the time you're hearing this, you've got a month, you can still sign up, you can still buy a plane ticket, like there's still time,

Brad Crowell 8:24  

There's definitely still time. I'm still having conversations with people, and there's there's room, so.

Lesley Logan 8:28  

crowsnestretreats.com

Brad Crowell 8:30  

PS, if you have ever wanted to walk around with elephants, we go to an elephant sanctuary at the after the retreat is over, it's an extra curricular activity after that we love to do, and so we always stay an extra day. And we also go to a waterfall, which is super magical. And maybe that's the thing that you're just like, really that excited, you know, that's what you want to do. So I just want to throw those out there that you can join us for those, in addition to the retreat. Go to crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com, and come join us.

Lesley Logan 9:05  

Yeah, and we're as we're, by the time we're recording this, we're also trying to lock in a day of teaching in Singapore. So my Singaporeans, hello, we are coming your way. And then we're gonna go see the botanical garden. So if you wanna walk around the gardens with us, you can. Then, December is our winter tour, and we're getting a ton of people asking us if we're going to Texas, and things like New York, and things like that. Yes, it's in the winter tour. So go to opc.me/events to get on the waitlist for that because if you're on the waitlist, you hear right away. And let me tell you, when we announce our tours, some cities literally sell out, especially on the winter tour. So because we've been doing the winter tour the longest, and people are really excited about it. So, opc.me/events. Okay.

Brad Crowell 9:43  

You're not wrong. 

Lesley Logan 9:44  

Before we get into. I know, I know. We went to bed after announcing it. Woke up, two cities were sold out.

Brad Crowell 9:50  

Two cities were sold out in less than 24 hours last year, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 9:53  

Okay, all right, Brad, we have an audience question to answer. 

Brad Crowell 9:56  

Yes, we do. 

Lesley Logan 9:57  

And actually, this is really for you. 

Brad Crowell 9:59  

Oh would you like to read the question? 

Lesley Logan 10:06  

Yes. 

Brad Crowell 10:06  

Okay. 

Lesley Logan 10:02  

@gp_pilates_studio, that's Greenpoint Pilate studio, hi, Allyn, on YouTube asks about How to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag video. Hey, Brad, what is the diameter, the diameter of the rope and cord, the paracord that we use? What's the diameter of it? 

Brad Crowell 10:16  

Okay. So this was on a video that we made, Lesley and I made called How to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag, right? And if you're familiar with the sandbag, it's the bar, and then there's the cord, and then there's the weights, and you can twist it back and forth. And so we actually made one our own, and we showed you how to make your own. So if you're interested in that, it's on YouTube. Great question here, Allyn, gp_pilates_studio on YouTube. So, it doesn't matter really what the diameter is. You don't want, like, you know, an inch thick piece of rope that would be just annoying and bulky. But what I used was just like your typical, like, cheapo bought it at the hardware store, nylon cord, you know, I think it was like 10 bucks for 100 meters of it, or something like that, you know, and they wrap it around that little h looking thing, and you just spin it around it, and it's like, you know, I don't know, like, there was no real diameter. It's just the smallest thing.

Lesley Logan 11:13  

Okay, I found it. I found it. Three-eights of an inch.

Brad Crowell 11:16  

Yeah, but, but honestly, if you get a quarter of an inch, it's fine, you know, I wouldn't. I probably, like, at a half an inch or an inch thick rope, it would just be annoying because you're twisting it around this, you know, it would, it would become like a spool, and that's just silly. So smaller is fine. The reality is, it just needs to support, you know, a pound or two pounds of weight, you know, so we're not, we're not trying to lift a house here. We're just.

Lesley Logan 11:39  

I'm pretty sure it's a three-eights of an inch one that looks like what we got. And also it, because I remember, it fits like, right through, if you just drill a hole we didn't get anything fancy.

Brad Crowell 11:40  

Yeah and I just, yeah, I just took a, you know, a quarter inch drill bit right through the middle, and then I just threaded that through. So as long as you can get the rope through, it's fine. That's really, you know, that all that matters.

Lesley Logan 12:00  

Yeah, I love it. So you can all make your own sandbag. We did it for the Accessories Deck, which is now shipping worldwide.

Brad Crowell 12:07  

Yeah. We actually did. We showed you how to build three different pieces of equipment. One was the push up handles. One was the the two by four, and then finally, was this one, this Pilates sandbag. So, yeah, great question. Thanks for that. If you have a question, you can text us at 310-905-5534, or you can submit your question or your win to beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions and we kind of need you to submit y'all so we have some wins to talk about on our Friday pod so let's go. Let's go right now. Pull out your phone, go to beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions. All right, that's enough of that.

Lesley Logan 12:50  

You know how easy a win is. This is my new win. So, I have been trying to figure I love my I love my red light mask and neck. And when I got them, I was using them really regularly, and we got really busy and and I've everything else, all my other habits were really good, but that one is has just been hard to fit back in. And I saw the dermatologist, and he's like, yeah, my wife uses hers every night. And I said, oh, when? He was like, before bed, and you know, so she washes her face and she use them. I'm like, oh, I can do that. And so I have done it four nights in a row, right before bed. I just put them on my face and I lay there. And you know, what's crazy is, like, I actually am getting some really good, deep sleep, like I'm sleeping really well. And I think it's that there's a time before I fall asleep that I'm just laying there waiting to go to sleep. So that's a win. 

Brad Crowell 13:35  

Like, it's on for like, 10 minutes. 

Lesley Logan 13:35  

Yeah, it goes off on its own. So even if I fell asleep with them, like, I wouldn't want to do that, but I could fall asleep with them laying on my face, and like, you know, yeah. See how easy that was. I just came up with a win on the spot. 

Lesley Logan 13:41  

That's a win on the spot. 

Lesley Logan 13:43  

You can do it too. 

Brad Crowell 13:46  

Yeah, yeah, I love it. Well, stick around. We'll be right back, because we're going to dig into this juicy conversation that we have with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, and also celebratory. It was really awesome. So we'll be right back. 

Brad Crowell 14:01  

Okay, now let's talk about Dr. Celeste Holbrook. PhD, right? Yeah, she's no joke. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sex educator with a PhD in health behaviors and a post grad emphasis in sexual behaviors. She helps women and couples overcome challenges, heal from shame, and create better, more fulfilling sex lives. Her new book, Missionary Position: A Slightly Orreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture, tackles the complex interaction of sex, religion and personal freedom. Celeste is known for her practical, down to earth approach that makes conversations about sex accessible and empowering and honestly, not awkward. But she's just really good at making it just, it's just a conversation. It doesn't have to be the silly thing. Some, for some reason it's like, it feels like we revert to sixth grade whenever this this conversation comes out, and it's like everyone like, hee-hee-hees in the corner. It's so weird, and it's and you might not be doing it out loud, but you're kind of cringing a little on the inside. She just takes that whole thing away and, like, you know, I mean, it was, it was, she's very matter of fact, matter of factly talking about having dildos in her social media posts, you know, like, oh, okay, yeah, there's that. But, but yeah. I mean, she's, she's not being like, risque or weird about her the conversation. She's specifically serving people who came from the culture that she did, which was, like, raised in a super, super strict religious home in purity culture. And so when she, when she got married, she for, like, it wasn't like, you can't just flip a switch, right? So she was like, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad. And then she gets married, and all of a sudden, sex is good. Like, that's not how it works in the body. And she had to tackle that. 

Lesley Logan 15:43  

Yeah, definitely listen to her first interview on the show, because it actually goes into that if and, and I think it's really interesting. I think, like, even if you weren't raised in a super like, if you, if I, if I say purity culture, and you don't think automatically. 

Brad Crowell 15:55  

That doesn't mean anything to you, right. 

Lesley Logan 15:55  

And you never had a ring on your finger that was turned one different way, and you were, like, betrothed to your father until, until someone's picked for you. Laugh. Had that ring, guys. 

Brad Crowell 16:07  

Not laugh. It's like a, it's like a sardonic shudder. 

Lesley Logan 16:11  

Oh, I know. Because, like, we thought that was normal. 

Brad Crowell 16:13  

Totally thought it was normal. 

Lesley Logan 16:15  

Did you read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye? 

Brad Crowell 16:16  

Yeah. Oh yeah. Josh, Josh something, right? 

Lesley Logan 16:17  

Yeah. I think he's come out and said everything I taught was wrong. I'm almost positive one of the guys.

Lesley Logan 16:19  

He got a follow up book and then I think he got, like, ostracized from the churches. 

Lesley Logan 16:26  

Yeah, one, one of the, one of the purity culture dudes, and I think it's kiss dating guy, goodbye guy has come out and said his book was extremely harmful, and he doesn't believe that anymore. 

Brad Crowell 16:36  

Joshua Harris. 

Lesley Logan 16:37  

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so thank you, Josh for doing that. But like, for the women who are listening, if you have friends in your life, if you weren't raised like this, who literally were told that like that is the worst thing they could do is to as to at all make a man lust. If you did anything that can make a man lust, you were causing him to go to hell. So you are, like, doing everything you can to, like, not be, not be attractive, and not be feminine, and then you get married, and you're supposed to just be sexy and have sex and, like, make babies. And, you know, Dr. Celeste and many women, they actually go through this painful experience with sex. And maybe you don't have that, but also you don't actually know, and she talks a lot about communication. How do you want to feel like you were never taught that sex could be something that you could enjoy? A lot of women are taught, not taught that you can enjoy sex. 

Brad Crowell 17:23  

I just went down the rabbit hole. He, 20 years after writing the book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris left the church he was pastoring, divorced his wife and made a document, a documentary about the repercussions of the book. Oh, I want to watch the documentary. It's called, I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. 

Lesley Logan 17:47  

Okay, well, we're watching that. That's tonight's show. The it's an eye and it's really interesting, because, like, I had a very interesting childhood where I there was definitely purity culture at the church, at the church camps I went to. My parents tried to do these things, and then also my parents would kick us out of the house so they could have sex. So, like, sex was a conversation that they had. My grandparents would talk about how they had sex a lot. So, like, I It's not like I I lived I knew that married couples had sex, right, so, but it's just the reason that I bring this up is I actually think a lot of women, whoa, you good? 

Brad Crowell 18:10  

Sorry, I found it. Somebody pulled it off of YouTube. He doesn't have the rights to it, and so it was on YouTube for years. I'm still down the rabbit hole, y'all. This is (inaudible) online. I went to his own website, and I found a post, a blog post, from May, so two months ago, saying, I don't know why they pulled it off of YouTube. It used to be here. Here's a link to it. That was on a pirated website. I don't know how long it's going to be available, but you can still watch it. So, very interesting.

Lesley Logan 18:54  

Love him. Okay, we do need to get back to Dr. Celeste. 

Brad Crowell 18:54  

Sorry, I'm focused. I'm in. Okay. 

Lesley Logan 18:57  

So I, I just, I'm really obsessed with what Dr. Celeste is doing, because I just know too many women who, whether or not you had a ring and you're were married to, like, dating your dad, until you were dating someone else, you were not offered the opportunity to understand that you could feel good during sex. Like, that's just very few people. Some, some people had brilliant mothers who were like hippies and like, told about that that is not, that is not most of my friends' experience. So, so one of the things, so, get her book, okay, you'll get her book. So she said American society tends to view sex in binary extremes, but it's rather a more nuanced middle ground. And we've seen this. You can see this in social media today. Like, people don't think that sex and gender are two different things. They are. Like, so, like what you're what you're attracted to, and like the gender. All these there's there's differences, and it's not so black and white, and everyone wants to make it like this is how it is, where sex is often placed on either end of the spectrum, either don't think about it or don't talk about it until a certain age or a marriage. And then that makes it really difficult. Because you know, most of the things, like, when you're a little kid, everyone asks, like, what do you want to be when you grow up? So you have your whole life to change your mind. You're like, I'm gonna be a judge. I'll be this. And you get to, like, explore and take classes and to do that. And when you're in this country, most people, like, don't do sex, don't have sex, don't get pregnant. And girls are also taught it's your fault if you get pregnant and there's something wrong, like you did something wrong. Yeah, if you get pregnant.

Brad Crowell 20:22  

Well, your shoulder straps were too skinny, that's why you're pregnant. 

Lesley Logan 20:26  

Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you're married. So now you should know, you should know how to do sex. You should know what, what to do, but no one let you talk about it. No one like, it's just a whole mess. It's a mess. It's a mess. So anyways, I really like, that's why she wrote her book. But she also explained, we are not binary people, as far as what we want to do in our sex life. And she said, like, she advocates living in the glittery middle, like, just like, you know, like, it doesn't have to, like, just because you liked it one way, at some point is like, another way. 

Brad Crowell 20:54  

So, just so that, like, we like, when we say binary, I think what she's what she's saying there is, it's okay for sex to change over time. Because the conversation you were having is like, you know, sex is, is different at different stages of life, right? When you're, you know, in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 70s, like, it changes, right? And so that's I, you know, I think that makes, that makes sense.

Lesley Logan 21:21  

And she so, she advocates for that glittery middle and, like, also, you know, exploring and, and it's, I think what's interesting is, like, she is so open to, like, helping you figure out what you want. And I have some amazing, interesting friends in this world. I have one friend who, like, has a partner who's a sexual, has a partner that she dates, but they date someone else, and then she prefers to have one other one. And I'm like, like, the 12 year old me is like, oh my god, what the fuck are you doing? Like, that's so weird. And then, like, the person who's like, gone through some work, done a lot of reading, I'm like, that is very fascinating. I don't like looking at my calendar that much, and that sounds like way too many. 

Brad Crowell 22:03  

It's a lot of scheduling. 

Lesley Logan 22:04  

A lot of scheduling. It's also a lot of testing, it's a lot of things. But she looked at me and she's, like, 10 years? Like, are you bored? So like, you know, it's really funny how we all have a different thing and she and Dr. Celeste is just like, advocating for, like, live in your glittery middle, understand that you're what you're gonna want out of your sex life is gonna change, and that's okay, and that's there's nothing wrong with you as it changes. Like, just explore that. And so she basically said you could decide what is best for you, and that right there is like the opposite of what purity culture and dickhead people in this country want you to think. They don't want you to think it's what's best for you. They want you to think it's what's best for the dick headed man they think you should be married to. Anyways.

Lesley Logan 22:05  

Tell me more about how you feel. 

Lesley Logan 22:12  

Fucking Christian coochie. That's never gonna leave my mind. 

Lesley Logan 22:36  

Yeah. Like, what a woman hater. Gross.

Lesley Logan 22:58  

That's the interesting thing. Like, I think a lot of, I think a lot of people in that world just don't like women. But it's, anyways.

Brad Crowell 23:05  

Yeah. Well, I mean, I was gonna say as a comment to that, you know, how do you get to the point, like, the reason I made the comment at the beginning was that it was mostly about communication. Is because, if you have been with someone for a long time, what does it look like to have that conversation of, like, things are changing and shifting in your sex life, you know? How is that? What does that mean? And, like, you know, I'm not talking about like, like, promiscuity. It could be that, you know, but, but, but maybe it's just simple things like, hey, you know what? Like, I want to make it I want to change it up, you know. Like, let's change it up today, you know, whatever, and but the communication is where I think it gets awkward, and hopefully, you know, with your partner, you have the the type of relationship where you can just simply have a conversation about it. 

Lesley Logan 23:55  

Also, I really, am I gonna take away your takeaway talking points? I really loved how she talked about the funny, like the faking the orgasm, is that in your section?

Brad Crowell 24:05  

My section, no, I was talking about how things changed over time. In fact, I even jumped ahead to it without realizing it myself. Fawning is really interesting, if you're not familiar with the definition. What is fawning?

Lesley Logan 24:16  

So essentially, like, there's flight, fright, fight, right? And I used to, when I studied biology, it was like, and fuck, like, some people, well, that's like, it's all part of the same part of your brain system. So that's kind of funny, but fawn is like, this, like, people-pleasing, or you've seen it in movies where the guy gets really mad and he hits her, and then she's like, oh, it's okay. Actually, that was my fault. I tripped into you. Like, they do this whole, you know, like, you're okay, everything's like, and acting like, really small and toss out like a little lamb, and then that makes a person, usually a man, like, calm down. Everything's fine. She talked about faking orgasms as a fawning response, as a people-pleasing response, and we talked, oh my, you guys have to listen to this, because she talked about, like, she believes in being honest, but also being kind. And we taught and like. 

Brad Crowell 25:03  

She said there was a difference between honesty and full transparency. She said she doesn't believe in full transparency, but she does believe in honesty, and she said people can use full transparency as honesty and be cutting and hurtful, right? 

Lesley Logan 25:20  

Because, like, because she also has, and this is an interesting thing. If you have been faking orgasms in your entire marriage, it's you can't always just blame your partner, because you never told them what it would take to please you, and so they're just doing what you have responded to in the past, you know? So it's a and I thought was really fascinating. So it's like, yes, be honest, like, hey, I would like to try something different that's no longer working for me. And so then it's not something that you're rejecting the other person or making them feel like shit, and you're also able to then start articulating what you want. And it does take practice. You're right. It's all about communication. It's such you guys have to go listen. If you have, you gotta listen, go, listen. 

Brad Crowell 26:00  

Yeah. And just to wrap that up there, you know, as things change over time, she said, hey, we mature as humans. Why wouldn't our sex life mature too? And it's important to allow our sex life to mature as we mature. It's the most helpful thing that we can do for ourselves. So, you know, I just thought it was really a topic that nobody ever talks about that's really helpful. So, yeah, there's a lot of room to allow ourselves compassion to grow as we grow, right? And then, you know, and that's like.

Lesley Logan 26:30  

Oh, you guys, I mean, when you get older, when you get older, like, your bones get brittle. So, like, there's going to be some positions that neither person, no matter what your gender is and who you want to have sex with, can do, like, you're gonna have to start doing sideways sex, because, like, you could fucking break your pelvis or a hip. So, like, just start getting.

Brad Crowell 26:49  

You could break it while fucking is what you meant to say. 

Lesley Logan 26:52  

Yeah, that too. But anyway, so just like, if, if this is a conversation that you are, like, already going, I don't know if I can have this. Read her book, follow her, because the more I do, the more I might able to go, oh, what an interesting thing that I haven't been able to articulate that was really helpful. Thanks so much, you know. So anyways.

Brad Crowell 27:13  

Yeah, well stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those Be It Action Items that we have with Dr. Celeste Holbrook. 

Brad Crowell 27:20  

All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Celeste Holbrook? She said, hey, I've got a four-part guide, and you should use it. And she maps it out in detail in her book, but high level, it's the analyst, the assassin, the healer and the explorer. And I thought, this is kind of cool. And she said, she said, it's like the archetypal woman. So the analyst helps you understand, what are we actually carrying around? Is the are these mental bags full of shame, full of neglect, full of fear, right? And then the assassin is taking what the analyst has found. So this is like a progression, right? So it's not just like you're only stuck in one it seems like this is a progression. So the assassin then is taking what the analyst has found and is just slicing through it, like deconstructing, you know, the, in her case, she's specifically talking about purity culture, and, like, all the baggage that we're saddled with from that kind of a thing. And then after the assassin is the healer who facilitates, like, she helping regenerate ideas about sex through, like, education.

Lesley Logan 28:34  

Yeah, right. Re-education.

Brad Crowell 28:36  

Yeah, gentle re-education about what is sex and what's okay. And, you know, like, why do we have this guilt around sex and, like, what, like, why does that even like, there's just a lot of history that blows my mind. Finally, we have the explorer, like, you know where you've kind of, after you've gone through some healing, you're now, like, feeling more confident, more willingness to, you know, be like, explore having sex, right? And you know that could be with your partner, with yourself, or whatever, you know. So, yeah, it's an interesting, like, progression out of.

Lesley Logan 29:11  

I think it's a cool idea of a process, because it it if you think, oh, my god, I have to figure all this out, or you might hear about the explorer part and be like, what the I you can't even wrap your head around that. It's because you got to go through the process. 

Brad Crowell 29:23  

Yeah, and I think it's great, because it really sets her up. Like, you know, she's she, she jokingly said a lot of my conversations are pretty boring, like, what? Because she's got clients, one-on-one, clients and, and it's not, they're not like, crazy, like, it's, it's not, it's not, like, telling, not story time. She's actually, you know, helping people go through the process that she created here. So it depends on what's, you know, part of the flow that you're in, you know, might just simply be analysis for a while, you know, and coming to terms with it. And then it won't be until you've come to terms with that you can move on to the next phase. And but what's great is that she has a process. And I think that's really cool. 

Lesley Logan 30:01  

Yeah, she also has a couple other things for you, which is something you can repeat. She said to, free to repeat, I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace. I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace. I think that is so important, no matter what the topic is, no matter what you're trying to be it till you see, like, if you got nothing out of this episode but that affirmation, great. And she also, we've talked about her being like a slow reader and like her writing and all that stuff. And she, she really learned to prioritize herself and appreciate being considerate and slow and thoughtful. Like, that's actually her prioritizing herself by her, not quite I'm a slow reader, but instead going, I am a slow reader, so I am going to be considerate and slow and thoughtful. That's how I do things. 

Brad Crowell 30:47  

Yeah and give myself the time and space to do that. 

Lesley Logan 30:49  

I thought that was so cool. Like, what a, what an amazing way to prioritize yourself is to, like, do the things the way you you need to do them. 

Brad Crowell 31:00  

Yeah and that's like, you know, across any element of life, it's not just, you know, around sex, so I think that's great.

Lesley Logan 31:06  

And then finally, she said, and this is for your sexual life, she said, where the goal for sexual choice is to be your decision, and not one manipulated by society or cultural values or religious values, and I think that is so important, because even if you aren't someone who is religious, but maybe your culture had a different kind of pressure, or a different way of seeing your body, or maybe you feel a different way with society. Your sexual life is your and choices are your decision, and not wanting to be manipulated by anybody else. So I think that's so important. I just fucking love her. I wish she lived closer. I want to have coffee with her all the time. 

Brad Crowell 31:43  

Yeah, she was a lot of fun to listen to. And also her story about how her book came to be, what a roller coaster. That was, how cool that, you know, that you were a part of it. I think that's pretty neat. 

Lesley Logan 31:53  

Honestly, honestly, like, this is like, you know, like, everything happens for a reason, like how we interviewed him two years ago. Jake. And I forget how Jake got to me. I actually. 

Brad Crowell 32:05  

I think he was connected through. 

Lesley Logan 32:07  

Somebody told no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's a Christian. Lori Harder friend, person, so somebody sent Jake to me. And then. 

Brad Crowell 32:16  

Jake Kelfer. 

Lesley Logan 32:17  

Yeah, and then, and then I watch Celeste stuff, but sometimes she ends up not in my feed because of algorithms. And that day, I just happened to not only watch, but like, actually turn, like, read the whole thing. And I was like, what's going on? I tap through. I watched every story, and I was and I was just like, call me, I got, so but, like, it's just like.

Brad Crowell 32:36  

Jake. Jake was interviewed on episode 202. 

Lesley Logan 32:38  

But this is how you, you can't this is something for me too, we can't worry, oh my god, what if I missed out on this? Because, like I had I was meant to watch her stories on that day, like I was meant to, because it could have been so easy for me to not pick up my phone that day and not watch them. There was a reason why I opened my phone up and I watched her stories. I do not watch that many people's stories, and it was because I was supposed to see them and introduce her to Jake. That was my whole goal. That was, like, the universe working for her. Universe was like, okay, Celeste, we're going to make sure Lesley sees it, because Lesley knows Jake, and you need to know Jake. Boom, it's done. And, like, she had to write the book. I love it. I love it. I love you, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, I love the book. You guys, go get it. I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 33:22  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 33:23  

Thank you so much for being you. Now. Go share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and go get her book. And go leave us a review, because we really appreciate that. And go be it till you see it.

Brad Crowell 33:34  

Yeah. And just one last time. Her book is called Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture. 

Lesley Logan 33:41  

I love it so much. I love it so much. 

Brad Crowell 33:44  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 33:46  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 34:28  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 34:33  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 34:38  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 34:44  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 34:48  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this empowering conversation, Lesley Logan welcomes back sex educator Dr. Celeste Holbrook to talk about her new book Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture. Together they unpack healing from harmful narratives, navigating seasons of change in your sex life, and discovering the ‘glittery middle,’ where you get to define pleasure, intimacy, and authenticity on your own terms.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to let your sex life evolve with every stage of life.
• The five-year journey and setbacks behind Celeste’s debut book.
• The four archetypes for healing and reclaiming sexual agency.
• Why faking orgasms is a “fawn response” and how to break the cycle.
• The freedom of defining your own sexual ethic in the “glittery middle”.

Episode References/Links:

• Dr. Celeste Holbrook's Website - www.drcelesteholbrook.com
• Dr. Celeste Holbrook's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drcelesteholbrook
• Dr. Celeste Holbrook on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DrCelesteHolbrook
• Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture by Dr. Celeste Holbrook - https://a.co/d/3UimUKx
• A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings - https://a.co/d/ibRaesY
• Fourth Wing Series by Rebecca Yarros - https://a.co/d/7Qhgk2R
• Ep. 202: Jake Kelfer - https://beitpod.com/jakekelfer
• Ep. 265: Daniella Mestyanek Young - https://beitpod.com/daniellayoung

Guest Bio:

Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sex educator, speaker, and small-town Texas horse girl who’s on a mission to make conversations about sex less awkward and way more empowering. With a Ph.D. in Health Education from Texas Woman’s University and a thriving virtual practice, Celeste helps people create lives filled with pleasure, connection, and confidence—starting in the bedroom. After years of struggling with pain and shame around sex, she set out to find answers no one else could give her—and ended up becoming the expert she needed. Today, she guides women toward pleasurable sex by helping them understand their bodies, claim their worth, and ask for what they want without apology.

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Resources:

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Episode Transcript:

Celeste Holbrook 0:00  

Expecting your sex life to look the same when you are 20 and 30 and 50 and 70 is not helpful for you, and so allowing it to mature as you mature is the most helpful thing that you can do for yourself, I think, when when it comes to your sex life.

Lesley Logan 0:19  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 1:02  

Hey, Be It babe, okay, this might be the first guest that is coming on for a third appearance. I think she won. I could be wrong, but I think she won. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is back. She's back. We're gonna talk about a couple of things. We're gonna talk about sex, we're (inaudible) we're gonna talk about her book. We're gonna talk about the journey that one goes on to get their work out into this world. And so even if you are like, I don't want to talk about the sex part, like, well, we should talk about the sex part. That's actually what we should do. But I want you to hear this, because I think it's so easy to hear people on a podcast go, oh, it's so easy for them because they got on a podcast, like, it's so easy, and you don't hear all the doors that get shut all the time. And I also am excited for you to hear like there are people in this world who just want to help each other out, and I think we need evidence of that. And I'm super, super excited that I get to be a cheerleader for amazing humans in this world like that. When I think about my, like, genius zone or something like that. Like, sometimes I think it's that I just get to cheer on people who are doing hard things and go, I see you, and you're doing great. And I can't wait. I can't wait. So guys, I'm gonna stop this, because we're gonna get right into we get right into it. And if you have this is the first time you're hearing about Dr. Celeste Holbrook, I really encourage you to go back to the first two episodes we did together. Go do the oldest one, then the second one, because I think you'll get a full picture of everything. We talked about a lot of good stuff. So she's gonna change your life. All right, here she is. 

Lesley Logan 2:31  

All right, all right. So you guys, we're just gonna get right into this episode. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is back. You guys, third time won't be the last time. I somehow have to have her on annually. I think, Celeste, can you tell everyone why you're back. Let's just get in. Let's just start there. 

Celeste Holbrook 2:46  

Okay, so I'm so excited, I can't even, like, contain myself. So I'm back because I have a book out, and I have a book really, truly because of Lesley Logan, because I have tried to publish this book for so long with traditional publishing, and I just got closed door after closed door after closed door for a lot of different reasons, which maybe we do and don't go into, I don't know, but Lesley reached out to me and was like, Celeste, I have this company. They do professional publishing. They're really great, and I just latched onto it, and I did every single thing that they suggested, and it was such a beautiful experience. So the whole point of this is I have a book, and I have a book because of you, and I want to aggressively love you today for encouraging me to do this.

Lesley Logan 3:38  

I am taking all that love also like this podcast, is why you have it, because I met that guy, because I interviewed him. And I have to, like, I'm not even I'll have to go back to the archives to figure out how I got this person, but I interviewed him, and I'm like, I really like this person. Like, I think he's great. Like, I've written a book, and I would have loved his help. Then, because I met him and had him on the pod, we had three of our clients use him, so I got to see from different perspectives how it was so when, and here's the thing, you were always on my feed, like, the algorithm would always, like, send you, and I like, just love all your stuff. And then it, like, kind of stopped, because I don't know that's how the algorithm works. And I happened to look at your stories, it was your stories, I'm pretty sure, and you were sharing this thing. And I'm not normally someone who's like, let me go in on the six minutes of a story. But I was like, I'm procrastinating. I'm in and so I was like, wow, what perfect timing this was, because I could have easily missed that whole section. And so I just want to, I'm just so grateful for divine like, I think that, like, there's divine appointments and divine interventions in a non-church way, guys, but we're meant to be in each other's lives and this book. Okay, so I guess, in case people don't know who you are, maybe we should do a quick like, who are you? Because we have new listeners, right? Hi, new listeners. You're going to want to go back to the other two. We're going to link them in the show notes. But can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? 

Celeste Holbrook 4:57  

Yes, absolutely. So my name is Dr. Celeste Holbrook, I am a sex educator, and I have a PhD in health behaviors with a postgraduate emphasis in sexual behaviors. So I help people, a lot of women and lots of couples, figure out how to make sex better, whether that is they are experiencing pain or they're experiencing shame from growing up in like, ultra religious household, or they just need, like, some help through menopause or through after having a baby or things like that. So I am your very practical sexual health help. That's what I do. 

Lesley Logan 5:38  

I love it the practical because, you know, like, I will say, having lived in L.A. and going to different sex shops, you don't look like the person who works the sex shop. 

Celeste Holbrook 5:48  

No, no. 

Lesley Logan 5:50  

Not to like, like to stereotype. But there's a, there would be a type that, like, works at the sex shop, and it's not you.

Celeste Holbrook 5:56  

Yeah, no, it's not me. And I just want to be super accessible, because not everybody wants to, like, swing from the chandeliers all the time. You know, a lot of people are out there just struggling to find the time to connect. Like, I cannot tell you how many times I have had a conversation about what to do with the dog in your bedroom when you want to have sex so the dog's not looking over at you or jumping on the bed, or, like, these are the practical applications that we are talking about in sex education in my consult sessions.

Lesley Logan 6:27  

Yeah, well, and because, because I think everyone's just so overwhelmed, like I saw something, and someone's stories, and they're like, went to their friend, their niece's like, soccer game, and she's like, looking around just like, no wonder no one's having sex. Like everybody is at the soccer game and they're exhausted, and then get the soccer game they're fighting about to do or you forgot the thing. Like, no, no answer. But nobody wants to have sex after this. 

Celeste Holbrook 6:53  

No, no. Why would you want to have sex after that? Exactly right. That's exactly right, yep. 

Lesley Logan 6:59  

So, so I want to touch on, like, there's a lot of different chapters, and maybe this is something that your book covers, but like, there's, you know, I think when we're younger and like, it feels like it's easier to do things, maybe, and then you get older, and like, there's more responsibilities and there's more stuff to think about. And like, it becomes something that goes away, and then your hormones change. So, in your book, do you cover, like, the journeys that were all going on, or is it more specifically for people from the purity culture, like, what? What were you excited to write about?

Celeste Holbrook 7:30  

Sure. So the book is called, I have the manuscript and printed out right here. It's called Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture. So I do take the approach of, like you growing up in a purity culture background, in, like, a high demand religion background, evangelical culture, things like that. But the book is in four parts. So like a four-part guide to basically healing, and you can apply these steps to any issue you are having in sex. So, yes, I do talk quite a bit about the effects of purity culture and how to overcome those effects. But it can, you can apply it to, you know, the trauma you had from a sexual assault. You can apply it to just the doldrums of being married to the same old penis for like, 20 years or whatever, you know, like you can apply these steps to anybody. So basically, there's four steps, and I have made them into archetypal women. So your first step is your analyst. She's like, the nerd she's looking at, like, okay, what are we carrying around? What does your backpack look like that you're carrying around? Is it full of shame? Is it full of neglect? Is it full of fear? Like she's the analyst. Your second archetypal woman is your assassin. She's she is taking what the analyst has found, and she is just like, slicing through it, right? She's your assassin. She's your inner assasin. She's your deconstruction, basically. Your third archetypal woman is your healer. So after you've done the work of understanding what's in your backpack, slicing out what needs to go, then your healer starts helping you regenerate your ideas about sex through a gentle reeducation. So we're relearning about some things that maybe we have always thought one way about. Maybe we're relearning about the idea of virginity. We're relearning the I about masturbation. We're relearning about what great sex is, right? The healer is our gentle reeducation, and then our fourth archetypal women woman is our explorer, and she's like, gonna try some new things. She's gonna go to the sex toy store, she's going to touch herself in a new way, and maybe, if that's too much, maybe she's gonna try sex with the lights on, right. And so these are the four women. They represent four steps, and within each step there are some really practical things that you can do to help move you to the next step. So you can apply this to any issue you're having in sex, and get to the other side where you're trying, you're you're now exploring, you're trying new things.

Lesley Logan 10:12  

I that's a way. I mean, well, like an archetype. I like that. And I've, you've been on my mind a lot lately, because society is quite interesting right now, like the trad wife situation. I'm like, that looks really beautiful. Like, I would love, like, I have white countertops. I'd love them to clean all the time. I'm certainly not capable of doing it. But I'm like, I don't know that. I think they're doing a really good job marketing a beautiful esthetic without realizing, like, all the stuff that comes with that, you know, like, all the religious stuff that comes with that, and how that can harm how we feel about our bodies. And I, I like, was raised in purity culture, and I didn't think it affected me. I'm like, I'm good. But actually, no, actually, I remember, like, I remember, oh, it does, because you're like, you think that you're like, oh, I'm on that. I'm that doesn't affect that like you, you start to realize, even if you weren't raised in church, just the way that public school systems have appropriated some of the modesty rules, like what you're told, what you can wear to school and and how thick this the tank top strap can be, and you can't be disruptive, even though the boys' pants are halfway down their legs, and I'm looking at underwear all the time. You know, I think that even for people who weren't raised where they're told, like, your father has you until you're given away to someone else, there is some level where all of us were affected by like, don't be a distraction. Don't, make sure you don't wear that so you don't look like a certain like you're not attracting bad people, you know, that kind of a thing.

Celeste Holbrook 11:44  

Yeah, I totally agree, Lesley. I think that there's very few people in the United States that have a great, comprehensive, inclusive sex education. I think very few of us. I think this is changing, and hopefully with, you know, recycle breaking next and next generations, but American society in general wants to put sex on either end of a spectrum. We want to either like, don't think about it. Don't talk about it. This is not for you until you are reaching a certain age or marriage or whatever, and then on the other side is like, why aren't you liberated enough to have all to do all these things you know, like, so there's these two, like, ends of the spectrum, and all of us really live in the middle. Yeah, none of us is really on either side at all, but we but it like breaks America's brain to try and think about, like, living outside of one of those two spectrums. So I talk about in the book about the non, about the non-binary. We are not binary people. As far as what we want to do in our sex life, and figuring out, how do you live in the middle area, which we often call gray, but I call glitter. Yes, it's the most fabulous place to live is in the middle, in this glittery middle, where you get to define your own sex ethic based on your value system, on your intuition, on your sex education, and you get to decide what works best for you. And maybe that is boundaries around when you have sex awesome, as long as it's your choice that's amazing. And maybe that is opening your relationship up and trying swinging or whatever it is that's awesome as long as it's your decision and not one manipulated by society or cultural values or religious values.

Lesley Logan 13:27  

Yeah, I think that's, I think I like to think about that even this thing, it's, you're right, it's America, it's people like, I'm in Pilates industry. And I said something the other day where I was like, well, you can say that, but it doesn't like, there's also the idea that we could prepare people for an exercise, right? And this person, like, went off on me, and I was like, so you need to understand that what you're mad about me is what you're doing here. Second, Pilates is not black or white. It's not this or that. It's a lot of gray. It's a lot of glitter, like glitter. It's like, because our bodies are different and where we are in our practice, where we are in our life, maybe what season we're in, maybe you're in a season of young children, it's going to be very different what you're wanting and ready for, and have the capacity to take on versus they're teenagers and out of the house and really don't care where you are versus you don't have kids at all. Like, there's all these different seasons. And I think we are like, oh, this is how I've always liked it, so this is how I have to keep liking it. 

Celeste Holbrook 14:25  

Yes, yes, that's so wise, Lesley, that's so wise. I think there are a lot of and we talked about this in our last on our last podcast together, a lot of the similarities between what happens in sex and what happens in like a Pilates, a workout space or Pilates space, as far as how we view our bodies and what we feel is like, right, or what we feel is appropriate, I guess, for our bodies like I should be wanting this, because that's what I did when I was 27 or I should be looking like this, because that's what I looked like when I was whatever, 30 or whatever. And I think there's lots of room to allow ourselves compassion to grow as we grow in our sex life, in our workouts and whatever, expecting your sex life to look the same when you are 20 and 30 and 50 and 70 is not helpful for you, and so allowing it to mature as you mature is the most helpful thing that you can do for yourself, I think, when, when it comes to your sex life. 

Lesley Logan 15:28  

Yeah, we'll keep talking about this, it'll come up. But I do, I do want to go back to like, the journey of this book, because this book has been in you for a really long time. And I think whether or not people want to write a book, you can insert goal, whatever your goal is, because you we will all in trying to get something out into the world or get something that we desire done, hit roadblocks. So you hit some roadblocks. Can we talk about, how many years of roadblocks? Can we talk about what you like, what kind of roadblocks you were hitting and, like, how did you keep going? Because quite honestly, I'm surprised you even told the story, you know what I mean, like, I'm surprised you didn't go, okay, well, that's that, the door, the door has been slammed shut.

Celeste Holbrook 16:12  

Yeah, yeah. And I really appreciate you asking this, because I know sex is really fun to talk about, but this is, like, my personal, like, lifelong dream is to have a book, and it feels really, I feel really seen when you ask about the process of it, and when I think about the be it, you know, be it till you see it, bold, executable. I think I'm getting this right, intrinsic, targeted, so I think about my word for this year was bold. So that was like, my like, I gotta be more bold. I want to say what I want to say. I don't want to be making myself smaller anymore. So the story behind the book, I have always thought about writing a book. I myself am a slow reader. I don't read very fast, and I for a long, long time I thought I was dumb because I don't read very fast, which is silly when I think about it now, but all growing up, I was slower than all of my friends reading. It was frustrating to read. And I've just, I like, I was still a good student. I still did all of the things that I needed to do, but I just, I just took time. I just took more time to write, to read all of those things, and I think in part, that's what made me get a PhD, because I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't dumb. Turns out, I'm not dumb. I just am. I need to go at my own pace. And so one of the things that you talk about a lot on the podcast is like, how do you prioritize yourself? I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace, like I can read as slow as I need to read, I can answer emails as slow as I need to answer emails. It's frustrating to me and other people, but at the end of the day, like it, it's honestly who I am. I'm just considerate and slow and thoughtful, and I've learned to like that about myself instead of hate that about myself. So the idea of writing a book was really, like tantalizing to me, but I had a lot of insecurities about my ability to actually do it. I'd written a dissertation, which is I, in my opinion, harder because it's boring. 

Lesley Logan 18:19  

Yeah, yeah, no, that's one of the reasons why I, like, stopped going to school. I was like, I can't write another boring paper.

Celeste Holbrook 18:25  

Oh, my God. Like, who's reading? Like, my mom didn't even read it. She's like, oh, congratulations. It's like, collecting dust, right? So I had done that, and so I thought, like, well, if I'd written a dissertation, it just take you just take a chunk at a time. I can surely write a book. So in 2000 and let's see 2016, Nate and I was like, Nate, I really want to write a book. I'm going to go to a writer's conference. So he's like, great, let's go. I was like, found one in Hawaii. He's like, even better, let's go.

Lesley Logan 18:55  

I love, I love when a goal and a tax write off can be in a place you want to go. 

Celeste Holbrook 19:01  

That's right, that's exactly right. We ended up getting a tent. There's like, these glamping tents on Maui that you can get, and it's just, like, really fun. It's like, on the beach, but you still have, like, sort of a bathroom, you know. But so we're, like, we needed to do it on cheap, because we were kind of broke, like, got these glamping tents, and I went to these writers conference during the day, and Nate did whatever during the day was at this writing conference, and it was through Hay House, and there was a contest. So if you went to the writers conference and you wrote a proposal, you could enter it in, and they were going to pick three writers to to give a book deal to, I would, and this is me being so sure of myself. Like, yes, I've spent a lot of time feeling insecure that about my reading and writing. But for the most part, my whole life, I have been, like, with no good reason, confident. Like, I'm just like, I don't know, confident.

Lesley Logan 19:53  

Yeah. I mean, that's cool. That's a great that's so many people don't inherently have that. I. And like to kind of have that and then use it is a wonderful, it's a wonderful thing. 

Celeste Holbrook 20:06  

Yeah, I just, I just was like, no, I'm gonna get this, you know, I'm gonna write this proposal. People are gonna love it. I'm gonna get this competition. Anyway, long story short, did not win any (inaudible). 

Lesley Logan 20:16  

Oh, I thought this was going towards you won. Oh, my God, she won. It. (inaudible) second look. I automatically just assumed you're gonna slay. So I'm just like, she won.

Celeste Holbrook 20:32  

This is about closed doors, Lesley. 

Lesley Logan 20:34  

Okay, that's true. That's true. 

Celeste Holbrook 20:36  

Yes. So I did not win. I was for sure I was gonna win, did not win, not even, like, a hello, right? So I was like, oh, maybe I need to work a little harder. So I had this whole proposal. My book was like, looking back, I'm like, I'm so glad that I didn't win. My book was called Sexual Wealth. 

Lesley Logan 20:54  

Oh, yeah, that's that's not you.

Celeste Holbrook 20:57  

It's not me. I was like, it was like, sex through finance, bro language or something. And I was just like, this is a terrible idea, but the spark was there, like, I really wanted to write a book. So that was 2016 I kind of held onto it, thought about it, kind of put it in a drawer for a while. In 2019 I got on a fairly large podcast with Jen Hatmaker, so she's an author, and she does a lot of work in, like the ex-evangelical space, or had started down that road. So I got on this podcast through just like pitching. I got on this podcast. It's pretty big, big podcast. And not long after that, a person from HarperCollins, like a division of Harper Collins, reached out to me and said, hey, have you ever considered writing a book? So the publisher reached out to me, which is very unusual. 

Lesley Logan 21:47  

That is cool, though. Yes. 

Celeste Holbrook 21:49  

Yeah, yeah, very unusual. Usually, you are pitching to publishers. So they heard me on the podcast, and they were like, hey, you know, we're interested in you submitting a proposal. I'm like, I'm freaking out. Like, this is so exciting, right? I realize I probably need representation, so I get a literary agent. I kind of shop around and get a literary agent. She's amazing, Rochelle, and I end up pitching my proposal. I worked it out, you know, I update it from sexual wealth to something else. I update it, I pitch it, and they're pretty slow. The publishing industry is so slow, you know this, you know this, so slow. 

Lesley Logan 22:24  

I have watched too many of my friends write books. I'm so great. I'm proud of all of them. But also the ones that have gone traditional publishing, it is slow, like molasses moves faster, you guys. That's, you know, like, just don't bet on don't hold your breath.

Celeste Holbrook 22:40  

Oh my gosh, it's the slowest process of all time. And so I was like, okay, I, you know, they reached out to me. So I'm here in my very confident space, like, oh no, they're gonna laugh. Yeah, they're gonna choose. They reached out to me. Why wouldn't they choose me? At this point, I have like, 1500 followers. I have, like, I have no platform, right? I still have a very small platform, but a bunch of really engaged, lovely humans. So I'm, I'm fairly sure they're going to choose me. Eventually, months and months and months later, they get back to me and they're like, yes, we want it is literally like, I don't know, six months later, they're like, we want to offer you a contract, and we want to go under contract, just small. It's a $20,000 contract. They're gonna pay me 10,000 upfront, and then 10,000 the book publishes. I was like, great, I have to pay out my agent too. So I'm I'm coming home with like, $8,500. I was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. Just to get one dime to like (inaudible).

Lesley Logan 23:36  

I mean that you got anything, because it's not, it's not always normal that even a first time writer gets anything until the book sells. So, yeah.

Celeste Holbrook 23:44  

Yes. So I was thrilled. I was thrilled. So I started writing my little heart out. They don't actually give me anything, a contract or anything, until my my my first draft is due. So I turned in my first draft and then they signed me. So I write the whole book without a contract. So submit the first draft. This is like March of 2020, so keep that in, put to context. Things that are. 

Lesley Logan 24:08  

Things are things are going on. 

Celeste Holbrook 24:10  

Things are going on. What's happening? So I get my first round of edits back. I'm still super excited. And then in July, my agent calls me, and she's like, I hate to have this conversation with you, but your book has been orphaned. Your editor left the company, and nobody else wants to pick it up. 

Lesley Logan 24:32  

No, no. 

Celeste Holbrook 24:35  

Yeah. So this is like, in the big scheme of things, like, it was the way it needed to work out, because they were already giving me feedback. It was the (inaudible) the imprint. And I'm not trying to slander any publishing industry, but this is just what happened to me, right? I was getting feedback of, like, oh, I don't know if you should, like, go that hard. Or I don't know if you should. You might alienate readers. If you talk about religion in this way, or, you know, this is you're gonna lose your Catholic audience. I'm like, I'm not trying to make the Catholics happy. I'm sorry. 

Lesley Logan 25:12  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I interviewed, I don't know if it was in my interview, but when I was talking with Daniella Mestyanek Young who wrote Uncultured, she was only allowed to talk about three sexual like, misconduct, things that happened to her, and not even the worst ones. They actually, like, got rid, yes, yeah, they were like, and you can only talk like they she had to. And she's been very vocal about it. She's like, because she was talking about God and all these things and like, like, yeah, you can't really talk about that. And then she was like, you know, saying that she got raped in military. And they're like, so we don't like, maybe we just do only one of those, like, very and so, and she was with a publisher, and she got published, but she it's a watered down version of her story, because apparently readers wouldn't be able to handle the true thing. And it's like, you know, like, we're, how are we supposed to change the world? We don't know what's going on. So anyways, yeah. 

Celeste Holbrook 26:02  

Yeah, I and I heard, I heard that kind of from different places, like, oh yeah. I had to, like, say this instead of that or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, that's a little bit happening to me. And I had written it with the understanding, like, this is for a still Christian audience. I understood this, it was with a Christian publisher. So I'm like, that's fine. Like, as a sex educator, you have to be able to be fluid enough to write to the audience that's in front of you. Like, when I go speak, sometimes I'm in front of really conservative audiences, and I adapt my language. That's fine. Like, that's okay to do. I'm still, I still feel helpful. I still feel like I'm pushing the envelope, but in a way that feels the most accessible for the audience in front of me. So I'm okay adjusting, but also like I didn't, I didn't want to water it down so much that I felt like it wasn't me. 

Lesley Logan 26:51  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Celeste Holbrook 26:53  

So anyway, lost my contract in July 1st of 2020, which was and that whole thing, the whole next two years was really difficult. My husband is an emergency medicine physician and it was just a real hard time in the family, family. 

Lesley Logan 27:09  

Yeah, no, lots, lots going on, lots of stress, lots of worry, lots. Yeah, you're afraid, yeah, you know. So like, you know. So we live where we live, and not everyone believe we're going through certain things. So that's even more stressful. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's a lot. The book, the book hit a wall.

Celeste Holbrook 27:26  

It hit it hit a wall, and probably had to find time. But I was, I was really, just really sad. Rochelle, my agent, was like, okay, we're just gonna, like, pick it back up. We have this proposal, we have a book written. It's, it'll be easier for another publisher to pick us up. And so we start, like, pitching to these other publishing companies. She has all these connections, you know, she's pitching, pitching, pitching, nothing's landing. I'm getting good feedback back. Like, you know, your platform's too small. That's fair. I started trying to grow it. You know, that's when Instagram was a little easier to grow. Now it's super hard to grow. But started growing it. I went from 1500 to 20,000 you know. 

Lesley Logan 28:04  

That's a big deal, because other 20,000 like, those are not bought, you know, like, yeah.

Celeste Holbrook 28:09  

No, yeah. And I'm a hard follow. I get that. I have, like, you know, dildos in my videos. Like, I get that I'm not an easy follow. It's not and I'm, you know, Shadow banned all the time, and I get all these notifications that my stuff is not being shown to new audiences. I get that. I get that I'm a hard follow, but that's what publishers want. They want you to have a ready-to-buy platform, which I get. They're trying to make money. But I got a lot of that feedback. I got a lot of, ooh, this is a little it's a little too much for us as a Christian publisher. Like, okay, I get that. And then it was kind of like this line for non, non-Christian publishers, like, we don't really, we don't really talk about religion that much, and then we're not really talking about sex that much.

Lesley Logan 29:00  

Right? So you're like, too much of the different things for the different people, that's really rough, because it's like, we'll never be everything for anyone, but to not feel like you fit somewhere when you have something to say, that's hard.

Celeste Holbrook 29:13  

Yeah, yeah, it is really hard. And I think it's what people needed. It's because it's, again, it's the glitter, it's the middle. Like, yeah, I don't fit into either of these spaces. I'm kind of like exploring the middle, right? So that was the feedback I was getting. And finally, we did that for five years, from 2020 to 2025 October of 2025 Rochelle had a call with me, and she's like, honey, I have nowhere else to go. I'm sorry. This has to be the end of it. Bless her. She she did the best that she had, and I am forever grateful for her. But that was it, and that was that's where we're caught up to, where you saw my story, and I was like, just sharing with my audience like I had an unhappy ending, and I'm gonna sit in my sadness right now and just tell you, like life isn't always hunky dory for a sex educator, for anybody, for you for me, and this is where I am right now, and I'm pissed and I'm sad, and the end, right? And then sweet Lesley shows up in my DMs, and she's like, babe, I have this great idea for you. I'm like, okay, so she you send me this information for this company I have a call with, I think Jake who you interviewed. 

Lesley Logan 30:19  

Yeah, Jake Kelfer. Yep, yep, yep. 

Celeste Holbrook 30:21  

I have a call with Jake, and let me tell you, working with them has been and I'm not getting paid for any of this right to for BIB, but working with them has been so healing, so much agency in the process. I got to say exactly what I wanted to say. I got to go at the pace that I wanted to go, like, it was just incredible. 

Lesley Logan 30:44  

So is this book, like a new book? It's not what you're pitching around. It's the glitter you really wanted to write. 

Celeste Holbrook 30:51  

It's the glitter I really wanted to write. Totally different. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 30:54  

Yes, oh, I love that. And also, like, so, first of all, you guys, did you hear five years? Five years and now we're going on, you know, like, so, yeah, five years and then now big. But here's the other thing, like going through all of those things, you got feedback and made tweaks and did these things. So then when you're writing the book that we're gonna all get to read, I can't even wait to read it. It's the best version of a book that could ever be, because it's really not your first book you've written so many

Celeste Holbrook 31:24  

You're so right. And over the course of the years, I changed, as we should. I hope I look back in five years and go like, yeah, I'm a different, new person from who wrote this book. But I was different, and I was more comfortable, like, straight up saying I'm not a Christian anymore. You know, I was more comfortable saying, like, is this a religious book? Yes, because we talk about religion. Do I identify as Christian? No, because of these reasons. Do I think we could learn some stuff from the Bible? Sure. Do I think we're going to talk about the Bible? Yes. I think we have to, because we're talking about purity culture. But I don't, you know, certainly not in 2020 was I willing to be like, yeah, I'm not a Christian, but so much stuff happened between 2020 and 2025, that just took me right on out.

Lesley Logan 32:10  

Yeah, yeah, no, I hear you on that. I and, you know, like, I have a brother in seminary school, so it's very interesting around here. And I had just said, you know, if, if, the if, all the Christians in the world actually did what Jesus said, like, we would have solved child child poverty and immigration and health care. And, you know, I've had a family member respond, well, if everyone just came to know, and I'm like, no, no, no, that's actually not what the Bible says. Here's the problem, I've read it so like I where I am in my life, which five years ago I was definitely not. Is just like I'm frustrated that a book, any book, has controlled people in such a way that's affecting even their sex lives, but also just lives, the lives of people who didn't even read the book. And so that's where, like, I get upset we don't have to have religious talk on this podcast. But that's that's just where, like, I'm coming from as a person with it. I'm, like, I have a really hard time with it, because it's not a loving world, and it with all the people who say they are, you know, believers. It should be. It should be a very loving world. So, so I think it's really I love. Thank you for sharing the story. This is great.

Celeste Holbrook 33:30  

Yeah, I totally. I just want to affirm what you're saying. Because I think the the main bottom line for me was it has harmed more than it has helped. Has it helped? Absolutely, there's some really beautiful ways in which Christianity has helped, but has it harmed more than it has helped? I absolutely believe, yes. And so for me, that was the final straw. Do I think Jesus was cool? Yeah. I think He was a radical non-white dude who did really amazing things that we can learn from, right? I believe he saved me from my sins. Not really, but, yeah, that's where I landed. And I was able to say this in in this book, which I would never have been able to do before. 

Lesley Logan 34:09  

Well, also, thank you for sharing it with us, because I also just someone like to see it's a really interesting thing to say, like my husband and I, like go like to say out loud, it's very I don't want to speak for him, because, like, maybe it was a different but, like, it's really hard to say out loud when you're like, I don't believe anymore, and you're like, you know?

Celeste Holbrook 34:29  

Right, it feels really weird. 

Lesley Logan 34:31  

Yeah, it does. But because it's such an identity that you're raised with, and I think going back to, like, that purity culture that your book is about, and by the way, everyone, like, I just want to say, like, even if you haven't been in that, it's, I think that reading about those things really helps me. It makes it helps make the world make sense to me. Like, I read Tia Levings book, A Well-Trained Wife, and I was like, oh, I get it now. I get why they're acting like this. I get why they're thinking this. Because, like, otherwise, you're like looking at people like they're aliens, and you're like, I don't understand. So I also think it can be really impactful to read just to understand, what are people thinking? What are they going through? Why is it harder for some people to have great sex, or want to have great sex, or feel comfortable having great sex, than for other people? 

Celeste Holbrook 35:18  

Yeah, I totally agree with you. It's so fun, interesting. Most of couples that I talk to, most of them are straight couples, heterosexual couples, and a lot of times, the woman in the partnership will, you know, talk about sex in one way, and the man in the partnership will talk about sex in a different way. And just like, I just don't get it. If it feels good, why wouldn't you want to do it? And so when we kind of like, deconstruct and explain, like, well, she's been taught that sex is dangerous her whole life, and so her nervous system feels on alert, even when there are good things in the future to come with that sexual experience. So to have to overcome this idea of fear and danger in your nervous system, just to get to the beginning of arousal is a whole different ball game than you who starts at arousal, and because it feels very regulating, like, I lean into arousal because it feels regulating as a straight man who's raised in America, and so like, just being able to, like, if you're a dude who picks up this book, It might help you understand the women in your life a little bit better, even if they didn't grow up in purity culture. Most of us grew up with the idea that sex is going to harm us. 

Lesley Logan 36:28  

Yeah, yes. Well, I mean, like, yeah, it's like, even if you weren't raised that way, you also, as a woman, were raised like, be fearful of any bad any man who's coming near you, walking up next to you, like, all these different things. And so it is very difficult to just like, let that go. It's not like, it's like, oh, it's Halloween. I can get Todd Kenny from a stranger now, like, this doesn't work like that. You know, like especially because it's like, your whole life these just little things that are being told. I think that's great for men to read. I think that's such a that's a, what a wonderful way to think about it, who this book could be helpful for? I want to take a brief detour, because you said something on your Instagram a bit ago that truly, like, blew my mind and also made so much sense, right? You said, if you're faking an orgasm, you're fawning, right? It's a fawn response. So can we talk about what a fawn response is? And that a little bit, because I think too many women do that. I only say that because I have friends who talk about it and I'm like, I mean, I just wouldn't just would be like, it's not working today, sir.

Celeste Holbrook 37:38  

Yes, yeah. I mean, I've done it when I was experiencing really painful sex when I first got married, because of vaginismus, because of purity culture, like I did anything to try and get out of the situation, right? So, so a fawn response is something that we do in response to something traumatic. When something traumatic happens, we go into fight, flight, freeze or on. So fawn is I'm pleasing you know this, this circumstance or person in my life, so there are no negative consequences, all right. So when we fake orgasms, and a lot of women have a lot of guilt around doing this, and this is why I posted that, because I want you to feel not guilty about this. I don't want you to do it forever, but I want you to understand why you're doing this. We fawn response an orgasm when we feel overwhelming pressure to have an orgasm when we feel overwhelming pressure to have an orgasm, it's coming from a fragile man who cannot handle or has put too much value on your ability to come as a validation for his ability to be great, right? I put too much pressure on your ability to be to come is a validation of my ability to be good or great. So part of the work has to become men saying like my validation is not wrapped up in her ability to come, without saying, I still can't give her pleasure. It's kind of, it's, it's, it's nuanced, but I really want women to understand when you're fawning, when you're faking an orgasm, you are essentially doing harm reduction. I don't want the negative consequences of his fragility, so I will fake it so I don't have to deal with that. That is easier for me. That is harm reduction.

Lesley Logan 39:47  

Right, right, right. And one would hope that a conversation or few could be had, like, here's what's going on and here's how I don't want you to feel and here like, yeah, that's probably where you come in. 

Celeste Holbrook 40:01  

Yes, yeah. It's a really delicate situation. I do have lots of times people come in and the female, the woman in the partnership, will be like, hey, you know, this is what's going on, and this is why I want us together to come but to sessions, but like, I don't know how to tell him, like, it's been years and I've been faking it for years, right? Okay, no problem. We don't have to. I don't believe full transparency is always kind. I believe in honesty. I don't necessarily believe in full transparency. Like, you can, you can be really unkind with full transparency, but you can still be honest. Like, hey, I really want to experience a little bit more sensation when we have sex. Can we work on some new techniques? Can I show you how I masturbate? Can we make it slower so I can feel something different? I really want to make my orgasm stronger, right? So we can be clear with what we want going forward without being like, you know what? I faked it for the last 12 years, right? Because that's on you for not for not saying something as well. 

Lesley Logan 41:08  

Yeah? Because that doesn't like, it can only be, it's not anyone's fault. But also, like, they can't change if they don't know, yeah. Oh, you're so brilliant. You're so amazing. Wait, when is the book coming out? When do I get to read it? When can I preorder, like.

Celeste Holbrook 41:23  

You are so cute. So it'll by the time this drops, it'll already be out, and we'll send links to to upload it, but it comes out on June 10th and so it's right around the corner. 

Lesley Logan 41:32  

Okay, well, I'm gonna pre I'm gonna pre order. I gotta or I'll order on June 10th. So we can make you a number one, Bestselling Author. We get whatever we get to do, so I can write my authenticated review. After buying it, all the things I can't wait. I'll take it with me on tour.

Celeste Holbrook 41:49  

Thank you. I'm so like, I just like, I'm cheesing so hard because I'm so excited about it. I reread it again this morning, just like as a skim to look at all the layout on the pages. And I'm just so proud of it. I'm so proud of it, like it finally is here.

Lesley Logan 42:07  

I have so many chills. I'm gonna cry. Okay, we're gonna take a brief break. We're gonna find out how people can find you, follow you and work with you. 

Celeste Holbrook 42:14  

Okay. 

Lesley Logan 42:15  

All right, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, where do you hang out? You said Instagram. Is there anywhere else? What links? What input handles? Where can they go to buy the book is it on your website, all the things.

Celeste Holbrook 42:25  

Yes, the book is on the website, but you can buy it the most easily on Amazon. If you do, please leave a review that would be really helpful. And you can go to my website to get into Pleasure Club. That's my monthly subscription where we have a sex ed session every month and a book club session every month we flip between fiction and nonfiction books, which is really, really fun. 

Lesley Logan 42:44  

Oh, fun. I know Brad and I got into the, of course, like everybody in the world, we got into the the dragon situation, yeah. Okay, every. 

Celeste Holbrook 42:52  

Fourth wing? 

Lesley Logan 42:53  

Yeah, yes. Fourth wing, the second one, the third one. You guys, we actually reread the first and second one to listen to the third one, we're going to go back through all three. Highly recommend it with your, with your partner. I think it's a great she writes good sex stories. They don't it's not super cheesy. So I really like them. 

Celeste Holbrook 43:13  

I love that. I think this revolution. I mean, people have been reading Roman ensembles forever, but I think it's really healing. I actually wrote about this in my newsletter this week. Reading sex scenes through a female lens is really, really healing and really helpful, because it it gives you the confidence to be like, oh, I can ask for that, or I can wait for that, or I can ask to slow down or speed up, or whatever, and I can expect somebody to listen and garner consent and all of those things. So reading sex scenes through the female lens or listening to them, I think, is very, very helpful. 

Celeste Holbrook 43:46  

Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I got distracted from your book club. So what's your website again? What's your handle? 

Celeste Holbrook 43:53  

So you can find me at Dr. Celeste Holbrook on Instagram, on and on YouTube, and my web, my website. drcelesteholbrook.com. I just had like a whole mind blowing, like I was thinking about sex scenes written through the female Iens and I couldn't I couldn't go back. Yeah.? So, drcelesteholdbrook is where you can find me almost anywhere. Dr Celeste Holbrook. 

Lesley Logan 44:14  

Perfect, yeah. Sorry, I have an ADHD brain. 

Lesley Logan 44:16  

I love it. I love it. 

Lesley Logan 44:18  

Bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us this time? 

Celeste Holbrook 44:23  

Oh, well, something we talked about already earlier. But the way that I am best executable is actually just to go at my own pace, even though it's slow.

Lesley Logan 44:32  

Yeah. Oh, I love that. I really do love that. And I also, you mentioned, like, the prioritizing of self. That's one of the ways you did it. I wanted to acknowledge like when you sat in your car and you shared that something had come to an end, that is also a way of prioritizing yourself, because you're feeling your feelings, and you're also letting people know that you're feeling these feelings, like we don't have to, like pretend around people, so just thank you for being you, and always for, you are always in the word gets misused, but you are so authentic and so authentic and just, I really feel like I've it's been so fun over the past five years to watch you grow with what you're doing and how you're educating people and how you're supporting people. And so I'm just so grateful to be on your journey. I can't wait to read your book. I'm so stoked for you. This is the coolest thing. And and you guys, how are you gonna use these tips in your life? Please tag Dr. Celeste Holbrook, send this to a friend. Here is the deal, not all friendships talk about sex, so one of the things you can do is just send the podcast or the book. You don't have to have the if you're not there yet, that's okay. But I think like, the more, the more women hear about all these different things that could be glitter, the more life we're living and the more fun we're having, the more we feel seen. So just thank you so much for being you, Dr. Celeste Holbrook.

Celeste Holbrook 45:53  

Lesley, you are the reason this book exists. I cannot thank you enough. Thank you so much for having me in your life and on your podcast. And someday, someday we will hug each other in real life.

Lesley Logan 46:03  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We will. It'll happen. I think this winter tour, I feel it in me. All right, you guys, you know what to do. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 46:12  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 46:54  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 46:59  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 47:03  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 47:11  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 47:14  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan is bringing you a quick dose of inspiration this Friday with three simple affirmations to say before bed, each one designed to foster gratitude, release negativity, and set a positive intention for the day ahead. You’ll also hear community wins from Ainsley that prove when there’s a will, there’s a way, plus Lesley’s personal win on how she embraced spontaneity. This episode is a reminder to make room for joy, connection, and possibility in your everyday life.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Three bedtime affirmations to inspire gratitude, release, and intention.
• How guided meditations can improve your sleep quality.
• Ainsley’s creative wins toward funding her goals and serving her clients.
• Why planning the “how” is key to making dreams happen.
• The surprising joy in saying yes to last-minute adventures. 

Episode References/Links:

• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• 3 Affirmations To Say Before Bed - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DH_tzyRuRwQ
• Mantra by Dr. Caroline Leaf - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIy9jd3MyZr

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:03  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:04  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:48  

Hi, Be It babe, how are you? Welcome to our Friday episodes, the FYF, the Fuck Yeah Friday, the inspiration station, the quickie hit that you need to remember that you don't have to be perfect. You're great the way you are, and being it till you see it is a process. Yay. I'm so happy you're here. So, I'm super, super excited, because I'm this has really inspired me. So it's something three things to say before you go to bed, and maybe this came across your feed, but if not, I'll put in the links below. All right. Number one, an affirmation of gratitude, thank you for all the blessings in my life, big and small. Number two, an affirmation of release. I release all negativity from today and welcome calm into my being. An affirmation of intention. I am ready to wake up as a magnet for abundance, peace and clarity. Let's say that one more time. This is the third thing to say before bed. I am ready to wake up as a magnet for abundance, peace and clarity. I will say I didn't put this as a win, but I recently started listening to meditations before bed, like these sleep meditations that are guided you have to find a voice that you like. But I do like listening to the abundance ones. I actually sleep so deeply. So anyways, I'm really, really loving it. I used to be like sleep music, and now it's not sleep music because my ADHD doesn't like certain sounds that are coming through. So anyways, all right, that inspired me. I hope you can use those. Again, the link will be in the show notes, so you can actually screenshot those and then put them somewhere before your bed, so you don't have to, like, look at your screen, because that'd be really great. Like, like, write them up on Post-Its. 

Lesley Logan 2:13  

All right, win of yours is something we do. So this one, we're gonna do a bunch from our lovely Ainsley, just because I she sends in so many and I love that Ainsley keeps sending them in. You guys, you can send your wins in to be beitpod.com/questions. You can put a question for the podcast, for us to answer or your wins. And I really do enjoy hers, because they're so thoughtful and from the heart. I also have known Ainsley for so many years, and it's just so fun to see how she has, how all these wins have helped her become who she is today, and how she uses these wins to just keep propelling new things. So she said, all booked into summer camp and day pass weekend, great lineup, and excited to fill my cup realize how close and April is. So I've been inspired to put some thoughts down for an end of May or June event, two new mat clients started up and signed up, and I got a beautiful message from a newish client saying how Pilates changing her life. She now feels alive again. And spring clean, totally inspired by a member here to clear out some clutter. I heard a new client of mine say sells preloved clothes. She popped around about and bought a chunk to resell and gave me 330 pounds for it. Could I have earned more doing it myself? Yes, but I opted to cherish the time and spend that time working on my business, instead. I am so grateful that she walked off with two big bags, and that money is going to go towards my Vegas eLevate trip. Where there's a will, there's a way, and she'll be back in August to buy winter. I've been asked to, by my clients to have some online classes for them to buy so they can keep moving when they are traveling. Exciting. Now I need to figure out the simplest way to do this. What fun wins. So many good ones in there, Ainsley. I mean, it's just really, what I love about you is that you don't go, oh, I can't afford that. Oh, I can't do that. You're like, no, I want to do this thing. I feel called to do this thing. How do I do this thing? Right? And I hear this, I'm not gonna include myself in that. I hear a lot of people go, oh, I'd love to do that, but, you know, maybe next year, or in two years, where I can't. And it's like you can say that. You can say, oh, I'll do it next time, but if you don't put a plan behind how next time is going to happen, you won't do it the next time. I know, I have the same events every single year, and I have people here who go, oh, next time, oh next time. And it's like, at the next time, I'm like, hey, you said next time, like, oh, I can't this time. How about next time? It's like, until you make a plan, you won't. So if there's a will, there's a way, and when you have a will, you plan the way. And so I love that you're like, I'm gonna clean up my clothes. And yes, I can make more money if I do it myself. But she'll do it. She's an expert at it. And so everyone wins. You win. You get time to work on your business, which can make more money, and then they get to do something. I love wins like that. So thank you, Ainsley, for sharing that with us, because I bet you inspire someone to clear out their closet and sell their stuff. 

Lesley Logan 4:55  

All right, my win. So this already happened, because I'm recording this before this happened, and I'm recording this before we leave on our tour, because I got to get ahead of these things. So this win is a couple months old, but I love sharing your wins that are older and my wins that are older, because we get to remind ourselves when these episodes come out, like, oh, I had that amazing win so long ago. Oh, I can do epic things. So I was like, oh, I'm so excited for June to be a travel-free month. I can't even wait. And my husband went on a camping trip, and he took the dog and, like, I had the house to myself, and he comes back and he's like, what days can you go camping? And as I call on all these weekends, and I was I said yes to a weekend. I said, yeah, I could do that weekend, but thinking, no way it's gonna happen, because it's like, in three weeks from when he asked and two weeks from when that weekend was coming to pass, he's like, hey, the boys can go camping that weekend. So we're gonna go camping that weekend. And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, I don't want to do that. But I also was like, had said yes, I'd go. And of course, I want to camp with these people. I want to be with my friends. So I am celebrating this as a win. I said yes to a trip with two weeks to go. I said yes to a trip with two weeks ago. And you know what, it got, if you listen to the wins at the end of this month, one of the things that I was like, okay, I'm gonna just say, I'm just gonna go and not go. You just go I can't, like, I'm gonna go. One, I want to see these people like, it's it's not easy when you're an adult, to spend time with friends, especially friends who don't live where you are. So I'm gonna go because then I could spend time with friends. Two, I'm gonna go because I can call it my reconnecting day to nature because there's gonna be, over those two and a half days over there, there's gonna be seven, almost 24 hours where I'm not gonna be on my phone for sure, so I don't have the tech time, but I get to go hiking, which is a win that I had recently. Like, hey, we can go hiking there. You know, it's a different place to hike and I won't get bored of going to the place we're hiking now. So I said yes, because there's all these different things about it, but mostly I wanted to be, I want to be a person who can say yes to things that are last minute, you know. And I know you're like, two weeks in the last minute. It is when you're planning a camping trip. It is when you're Brad and I, when you have to plan a ton of stuff, like to be able to go on a trip. We have to make sure that, you know, we're not affecting the eLevate calendar, we're not affecting the Agency calendar, we're not affecting the OPC filming calendar. We're not affecting, like, there's all the things, right? I don't want to work on a weekend when I'm camping. I want to be able to be off my phone. So I have to make sure that, like, one, I can leave early on a Friday, and two, that everything is done when I go. So I'm just so proud of myself. And so if you needed a win to know that you, too, like saying yes to doing something last minute, brilliant, brilliant win. Way to go. You slide. You should pat yourself on the back for that, because not all people do. Most people just say no, next time, no, next time, and then have no plan for it. 

Lesley Logan 7:35  

So, my love, what are your wins? I want to celebrate them. I want to shout them out here on the podcast. Send them in to beitpod.com/questions. You can also drop your questions for us to answer on the podcast on Thursdays, and send an episode of the Be It Pod that was your favorite to a friend. It's how this episode, the podcast grows, and we can't grow without you. Like, literally, I'd just be talking to myself. So show this podcast with an episode, or an episode you like, with a friend who needs to hear it, and you know what to do. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 8:05  

Oh, can't go yet. Gotta give you a mantra, holy moly. And I saved this mantra for you. I saved it for you, and I almost let it go. I'm what a habit I'm creating, which is not great. All right, so we're gonna, we're gonna get back on the wagon here with our mantras. And here is the mantra. I also put a link to this one because this one mantra came through on Instagram. It really inspired me. Your purpose is not the thing you do, it's the thing that happens in others when you do what you do. Your purpose is not the thing you do. It is the thing that happens in others when you do what you do. Your purpose is not the thing you do. It's a thing that happens in others when you do what you do. That's from Dr. Caroline Leaf. Brilliant, beautiful. No notes. Okay, now you can go and Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 8:57  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 9:40  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.r. 

Lesley Logan 9:44  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 9:49  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 9:56  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 9:59  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

From redefining “good” and “bad” habits to learning how empathy shapes teaching, Lesley and Brad recap their conversation with yoga teacher Anthony Benenati—founder of City Yoga, California’s first Anusara studio, and now leads That’s Not Yoga®. With over three decades of experience, Anthony has built a philosophy of meeting students where they are. Together they explore how ego, anger, and even curiosity can open the door to practice, and why the stories we carry and the language we use hold the power to shape growth. This episode invites you to pause, reflect, and ask: is this serving me?

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How Anthony's teaching shaped his philosophy of fitting yoga to the students.
• Brad's early yoga mishaps and how they reframed his view of the practice.
• Feeling like an "outsider" in Pilates and how sharing built deeper connections.
• Why empathy is the real skill teachers need in guiding students.
• Why desire, knowledge, and action are the non-negotiables for growth.

Episode References/Links:

• UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/uk
• P.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagoland
• Cambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com
• eLevate Program - https://lesleylogan.co/elevate
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• Anthony Benenati's Website - https://thatsnotyoga.com
• Guilt vs. Shame by Brene Brown - https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt
• Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/22NIHEI

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

There's a difference between saying something is bad and to lead to I'm bad, and asking yourself, is it serving me? If the answer is yes, fuck what people think. If it's a yes, and tomorrow it's a yes, and then the next week it's a yes, and then next month it's a no, then you make a change. 

Lesley Logan 0:22  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:05  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the authentic convo I had with Anthony Benenati in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you've missed out. 

Brad Crowell 1:16  

You definitely missed out. 

Lesley Logan 1:18  

I don't like to go around saying you made mistakes, but you did.

Brad Crowell 1:20  

You did. 

Lesley Logan 1:24  

You don't suck or anything, but, all right, before I get into that, today is August 28th 2025 and it is National Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day. And on this day, of course, it's gonna say Rainbow Bridge twice. So the death of a beloved pet, whether it's the family dog, a furry kitty, or something a little more obscure, is a sad occasion. Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day on August 28th is the day that we remember the pets that are no longer with us. Whilst the pain of losing a pet, you can't laugh while we're talking about dead dogs, babe, but we are laughing because Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day is a day we remember our pets. We got that from remembrance, you know, like we got it, okay, anyways. Whilst the pain of losing a pet somewhat heals over time, they're never forgotten, and today is their day. The day was founded by author Deborah Barnes as a way for people to share their memories of the pets that they have lost, whether it's a dog, a hamster or a snake, or, you know, anything in between. Oh, maybe this is the day that we maybe actually like say it. 

Brad Crowell 2:32  

That's what I was thinking. 

Lesley Logan 2:34  

Okay, well, do you want to say it?

Brad Crowell 2:36  

Yeah, I do. Also, I think it's great that it's in the month of August. 

Lesley Logan 2:40  

I know it's like we knew. 

Brad Crowell 2:42  

If you didn't know, Lesley and I have only one dog now, and it's been a couple of months that we lost August as well. And when I say as well, what I mean is last year, we lost Gaia towards the end of the year, and then about six months later, we also lost August, and that was really, really challenging, and not something that we talk about very often.

Lesley Logan 3:08  

I know well, because there's a difference, and I think that's what was important about this day. And like, if you needed this day, it's like, there's something it was something easier. I mean, it felt really hard at the time when we had to, like, make a day to say goodbye to Gaia, you know, like we, we knew for years the day was coming, and we could see it was time. And we had a different situation with August, where it was just like, oh. 

Brad Crowell 3:33  

It was unexpected. It was sudden. 

Lesley Logan 3:35  

This is happening to this is happening today, and that's, that, like, that's just not enough time for your brain to like, not that we miss him differently, but we, I do, like, it's just a different grief. It felt like a different grief. 

Brad Crowell 3:48  

It felt like a different grief. I felt like with Gaia, I had a lot more opportunity to say goodbye ahead of time, you know. And then when when it was gone, it was fond memories. With August, it felt like shock and sadness.

Lesley Logan 4:11  

Yeah, yeah. I mean, with and with her, like, I felt like, okay, she's gonna be better. Because, like, she was just having a hard time being alive. And he was so young, so that just felt like it was it was hard, it was awful. We didn't talk about it, because there's when you when you share, that someone passes away, or a pet passes away, there's an outpouring of love because of this world we live in. Like, you can say what you want about the negative sides of social media. But the positive sides are like, insane. It's like, it's like the people from your life 10 years ago, and because people have had pets like, they feel it. When you lose a pet and you see someone like you feel that loss with them. Because you know what it feels like and like, in no way were we capable of handling any I'm sorry, like I couldn't and, like, even now we're getting teary eyed. So anyways, we have one amazing dog, and we, if you know this about OPC, well, all of our companies do a little donation to a charity. It's built into all of our products and our profit margins and OPC, this year, I chose a dog charity down because they get like, 500 animals, like, a week, and like, they're trying really hard to be a no kill shelter, and I, and we can't I, like, literally, look at dogs Brad, like, look at this one. Like, we're gonna, like, we're gonna take this on. And as much as, like, oh, that fills this hole. Then I'm, like, it doesn't fill the hole. So, like, anyways, National Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day to for from our hearts to all of yours who've lost a pet, it's so hard. So anyways, okay, so in other news. 

Brad Crowell 5:51  

In other news.

Lesley Logan 5:52  

We are back from our tour, as you heard last time, but we are literally leaving in like four days to go to the U.K., and we opened up ala carte workshops, which means that if you can't take a whole day off with us, it's quite possible there is a spot left in a workshop. So we just took the day passes and allowed people to buy a workshop. So there might be one or two workshops that you can snag your spot. And so go to opc.me/uk because we're going to be in Essex and Leeds, and I don't know when we'll be back teaching in the U.K., but I know we're gonna be there now, and it's gonna be so much fun. There's some great workshops. There's some business ones, there's some Pilates ones. They're for people who like us and love us and just wanna learn with us who are really, absolutely amazing. So thank you to our hosts from The Movement Base and Chapel Allerton Pilates. Then we come back and like, two weeks later, we leave for Chicagoland. We're going to be at a Balanced Body's POT and I'm teaching the Joe's gyms there. Brad is going to have, like, Brad just now was helping me with the booth, and that's it's in Burr Ridge, but they call it Chicagoland, and I like that. And from Chicagoland, we're going to go to Cambodia. And you know what? We've had people last minute join us, like we said, you could join like, two weeks before. So, crowsnestretreats.com, if you are feeling ambitious and wanting to get the heck out of town because there's a lot going on and maybe you just want to take a break. So, crowsnestretreats.com. And then what? 

Brad Crowell 7:16  

Well, we're actually working on lighting up a workshop and some classes in Singapore right now. 

Lesley Logan 7:21  

I know. 

Brad Crowell 7:22  

Which would be awesome. We'll see. You know, I would say at this point, if it hasn't come together, then we have a problem. If you're listening to this now, but right now we're working on it when we're recording this. So we're gonna say, yeah, it happened. It definitely happened. We got a workshop coming in Singapore.

Lesley Logan 7:39  

It's going to happen because, hello. I mean, it's not very often Singapore that I have a layover during daylight hours. 

Brad Crowell 7:44  

That's right. 

Lesley Logan 7:44  

And so we're gonna make there's people who want it.

Brad Crowell 7:46  

It's gonna be awesome, yeah. But anyway, we've been looking at different venues right now, and we're lining it all up. So yeah. And then after we get back from Singapore, we actually are home for about a month, which is quite nice to to chill out. We some family coming into town, and then we go on our winter tour for OPC, where we're driving another 8000 miles this year. Last year, we did 8200 over the winter. This year is going to be less miles more stops. Oh, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 8:20  

Okay. 

Brad Crowell 8:21  

Less miles, more steps, but it's gonna be awesome. We are stoked. 

Lesley Logan 8:24  

You know what's really funny, guys? Okay, so the team, like, I see the map, I see where we're going, I give some inputs on some places. I'm like, yeah, I'll do that, whatever. But then they don't actually always tell me, like, all the events we're doing. So like, this week, all the private events that, because, like, studios that host us can also, like, hire us for an event, just for their team, right? So there's a public class and a public workshop, and then sometimes there's a private workshop. And apparently there's a lot more than workshops that I thought on the summer tour. So I am interested to see this winter tour. I expect lots of gifts and lots of hugs, but we'll announce the winter tour in October. So if you are in Cambodia with us, you'll hear it all announced. 

Brad Crowell 9:03  

Yes, you will. 

Lesley Logan 9:04  

Okay before we get into Anthony's incredible episode. What is the question of the week?

Brad Crowell 9:10  

Yes, great. So I don't actually know how to say this, netamenashe, yeah, netamenashe. there you go, on Instagram, she asked, Hey Lesley, do you do any Zoom sessions sometimes? 

Lesley Logan 9:27  

Sometimes I do. 

Brad Crowell 9:28  

Sometimes.

Lesley Logan 9:29  

That's true. Yeah. Who gets them? It's gonna sound like I'm an asshole, but the people who get Zoom sessions with me are people who are in my mentorship program, to be completely honest. I don't have a lot of hours in a week that I can teach because of we run OPC, you run Profitable Pilates, you know, and we do have the mentorship program, so the limited times that I have are for those in that program. And then sometimes OPC members get access to that calendar. But basically, as you can hear, no one publicly gets access to those things. So as much as I love to teach the world on Zoom, that the way I can do that is through OPC actually, because we have a monthly live class, and I can look, we can hang out afterwards, and I can look at your form. I can answer your questions. You don't even have to come to the live class when I look at your form, you can submit videos, and I can give you feedback. So if you're wanting me to give you feedback on some exercises, be an OPC member. If you're a teacher, you can go through eLevate we only have a few spots there, where OPC, it's obviously as many people. 

Brad Crowell 10:28  

Open to the world. 

Lesley Logan 10:28  

Open to the world and. 

Lesley Logan 10:29  

But yeah, I mean, with eLevate, if you, if you're actually looking for a specific feedback on your practice and you want to really grow, Neta, you should be considering eLevate. It's for teachers. It's a nine-month program. It's like, consider it like going and getting a master's degree somewhere. It's very in depth, in in in what it covers. It's going to run through everything that Lesley learned from Jay Grimes, who studied with Joe. So you're going to be covering 500 exercises. It's going to be amazing. During that time, your your personal practice will significantly grow, and you'll also have, Lesley will be, you know, watching your practice during those nine months, too. So that's like, the best way to make that happen. Just reach out, or go to lesleylogan.co/elevate and or you can book a call. I'm super happy to hop on a call and just say, what's up, you know.

Lesley Logan 11:21  

I mean, I it's like a it's a great problem to have. And I actually used to teach this long I've been teaching online. I used to teach on Skype, and I used to teach people all over on Skype. 

Brad Crowell 11:30  

2015, '16, '17 Skype.

Lesley Logan 11:33  

Yeah, Skype, oh, my God. Or sometimes Facebook, sometimes Facebook Messenger, because Skype wasn't working, or whatever, like, it was so, but I was, like, anything that has a video I can teach on it. And, you know, but, yeah, I think, like, we do have some great opportunities to work together in person between the tours and Cambodia, and then the online stuff is, you know, you I all love. 

Brad Crowell 11:56  

That's another great one. You could come with us to Cambodia, Neta, where you'll be doing five classes with Lesley during the retreat. And obviously, you know, it's, it's not a large group. So you can come there and be in person. 

Lesley Logan 12:10  

Yeah. So you guys send in your questions. You can, like, you'll literally hear honest feedback and answers. And we love answering them. Like, I just, I want, I want, I want I want questions about your wedding, I don't know. Like, give me some good ones. Go to beitpod.com/questions to submit them, or text us at 310-905-5534, it doesn't yet mean Be It Pod, but we're getting to.

Brad Crowell 12:34  

No it's not gonna mean Be It Pod anytime soon. So I love that your wishful thinking here it's, you know, low on the list.

Lesley Logan 12:41  

Being it till I see it. 

Brad Crowell 12:43  

Lower on the priority list. 

Lesley Logan 12:47  

All right, all right. 

Brad Crowell 12:49  

Love you. 

Lesley Logan 12:49  

Love you too.

Brad Crowell 12:51  

Stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into one of my really dear friends who I've now known for more than a decade, and he he's just inspirational in multiple ways, being a yogi, but also, you know, he's a philosopher too. So cannot wait to dig into this convbo that you have with Anthony Benenati. You're really going to enjoy. If you haven't already gone back and listened to that, you should, but yeah, looking forward to it. Stick around we'll be right back. 

Brad Crowell 13:19  

Right. Let's talk about Mr. Anthony Benenati. A professional yoga teacher with over 32 years of experience. Before stepping into yoga, Anthony served in the Air Force and worked in a comp as a competitive power lifter. I don't know if he worked at it, but he was a competitive power lifter, which left him with shoulder and knee injuries. In fact, you know, he he told me when he was younger, he couldn't even touch his toes, you know, and today he's like, you know, obviously been doing yoga for three decades. He founded City Yoga, which was California's first on a Sora studio, and he now leads, That's Not Yoga. That's his website, thatsnotyoga.com. He he's actually also done a lot of business stuff, and like because he sold studios and then he taught for other people, and he's done workshops and holds retreats, all sorts of stuff. Anthony's philosophy is to fit yoga to the student, making sure the practice leads to transformation and healing, not to suffering. And he teaches students to listen to their bodies every day, meeting themselves where they're at, with their openness and compassion, and yeah I think that is a really great summary of, you know, who he is. But I would also say he rides a motorcycle, he drinks beer, he curses. He's fucking cool and hip, and that's one of the things that that I connected with him the most about is because I had this preconception of what's a yogi. 

Lesley Logan 14:45  

I mean, your first class was, like a per tip, like a bit like, like the typical yoga instructor, like this little, soft spoken older lady.

Brad Crowell 14:52  

No, no, no, no, no. I had my well, so that, so that was the first teacher that I actually learned from, and she was super sweet and nice. But yes, the class was literally for, like, elderly people. And I was like, teach me the foundations. And I liked the class because she let her students ask questions during class. And I was like, I don't understand this pose. How does it work? And it effectively was like. 

Lesley Logan 15:14  

In case you haven't noticed, Brad, you guys, Brad literally interrupts all classes to ask questions. Like, like, all classes, he has questions. He comes on the retreat, and he'll just pop into a class, and then he's got a question. It's like, we actually talked about that yesterday, and you missed class. But okay.

Brad Crowell 15:29  

So, but my very first class was hilarious, because I'm like, you know, my nickname in yoga class was shark boy, or Mr. Bendy, and I, I've just been I'm a hyper mobile body, so naturally flexible. And I get to my first yoga class ever was a Groupon that I bought, and I showed up for class, and I'm in the middle of, like, 30 or 40 people, and I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm watching this guy up in the front, you know, do all the things. And I was like, okay, we're sticking our arm over there. We're shooting, our leg over this way. We're twisting and blah, blah, blah. And at the end of the class, he came up to me, he's like, wow, man, you have a great practice. And I was like, this is my very first class. And it was like, what? And I was like, yeah. And then I left the studio, and I walked out to my motorcycle, and I could not get onto it. 

Lesley Logan 16:16  

You did way too much. 

Brad Crowell 16:17  

Because I hurt myself so bad that I literally had to sit there for like an hour just for my back to not be screaming at me. And I was like, well, yoga is not for me. And I just was like, I'm done. And then I never, you know, like, I never went back, and I, but I, but I had that Groupon right? And so anyway, somehow I ended up using it. And I bought another package somewhere with Anthony, because the studio was convenient and but I only want. 

Lesley Logan 16:46  

Your first class wasn't with Anthony. 

Brad Crowell 16:47  

No, no, my first class was not with Anthony. But like, a year or two later, I was like, I'm gonna give this another try. And I did buy, like, a 10 pack at Anthony's studio, and I use, like, and he didn't have an expiration on it, right? So, and I, but I only use, like, two classes. And then I didn't know yoga for like, years. And then there was a point where I was like, I need to go. I need to go back to class. And I, I called the studio. Had, he had sold it and, you know, so I, I went. I was like, hey, I had this package with the old studio, you know, you know. And I wasn't even taking with Anthony. I had been taking with that lady, that older lady, lady, but I still had packages. It just so happened to be Anthony's studio. I didn't know that, yeah. So when I went back, Anthony was the teacher, and that's how I first met him. And I was like, who the hell is this guy? He's awesome. This is rad and that and then I was like, hooked. I was in. This is probably like, 2014. So I've been dabbling in yoga for like, maybe three years, but not really.

Lesley Logan 17:46  

I love how two or three times in two years is dabbling.

Brad Crowell 17:50  

Yeah. Well, with the with the older with the with the older lady, whose name I don't remember, and I feel bad about that. I probably went, you know, I bought a few 10 packs, you know, I went a few times.

Lesley Logan 18:00  

Okay, it wasn't clear that there's a multiple 10 pack. 

Brad Crowell 18:02  

Yeah. Sorry, sorry I went a few times, like, I had enough foundation (inaudible). 

Lesley Logan 18:05  

Every time I've heard this story it has always had, like, one 10 pack, and it's like, you get a couple of times it's not dabbling.

Brad Crowell 18:12  

Oh, I went, I went, yeah, I went enough to, like, decide that yoga wasn't gonna hurt me if I knew what I was doing. But, you know, I didn't actually, like, it didn't turn it into a habit or a practice. I just went a few times, and then, you know, it wasn't until, you know, a year later that I went back to redeem the rest of my package that, studio had sold. I didn't even know it. And I was like, well, they're gonna honor it. I already have classes. I'll just go there. And then I happened to pop into a class that was Anthony's, but, wow, that was a long story that has nothing to do with anything. 

Lesley Logan 18:45  

Speaking of Anthony. 

Brad Crowell 18:45  

Yeah, let's shift on, like from your convo, which was deep. 

Lesley Logan 18:50  

It was deep. I knew it would be, I know it'd be so good, but I think for all the teachers, no matter what you teach, this is a really great thing. Anthony says he believes that the most effective teacher is someone who understands how people get to the practice. 

Brad Crowell 19:03  

Well, you just found out. 

Lesley Logan 19:05  

Yeah, well, but like, right, right, but like, I think this goes to, you know, we coach a lot of Pilates instructors, and they're like, I want to work with an advanced person. All they want to do is lose weight, and it's like, right? And we don't want you to lie to people, but you have to understand what gets people to the practice, so that you can have empathy for them being a beginner, because they should be allowed to be a beginner, and we can't, we don't want them to feel shame for what they think they want in their life, because that's a compilation of years of stories and influence good or bad to, and in the conversation we talked about, there's no such thing as good or bad, but like to to someone. And so how can you really have a lived experience, so that you can in whatever it is you're teaching, so that you can come from a really great place, an honest place, and and be human, you know, like, I think a lot of instructors put themselves upon pedestals, cult leaders and and forget that like you are also in practice when you teach something, that's a practice, right? And so he also said empathy is such an important factor to be a great teacher, you have to put yourself in their shoes. And this is something like, look, of course, I have days where I get tired and I'm like, why don't they just fucking relax and stop trying to be perfect, like I don't understand, like, I'm fucking just, just relax, just be in practice. But also, I know what that is like. I know why they can't do it. I know that they have years of like, being for whatever, like somebody told them that it had maybe the perfection is because it kept the house safe. You know, there's so many different reasons why people seek perfection. They want certainty. They want control, you know.

Brad Crowell 20:47  

Yeah, I mean, it could be a response from uncertainty in another area of their life, where they feel like this is where I can have certainty, because I know exactly how it's supposed to be, you know. And then, and then it becomes this thing. 

Lesley Logan 21:00  

Yeah, but when I when I like, so when I catch myself, because sometimes, like, I'm like, and it's like, oh, wait, hold on a second. We've like, I've been here. So what, what was I going through? And what actually got me to, like, let go of that and get back in that empathy, because it actually is what helps guide people on the path to being more themselves, to connecting to themselves, to having a personal practice. So it was just like.

Brad Crowell 21:25  

Yeah. Anthony was talking about his ego was the thing that brought him to the practice. Because he was like. 

Lesley Logan 21:31  

Which would just be the irony of yoga. 

Brad Crowell 21:33  

Yeah. And I'll tell you, it was actually anger that brought me to the practice and. 

Lesley Logan 21:39  

I do went to yoga with you because I thought you're cute. I mean I was going to yoga already, and I was like, Ookay, I'll go to that class with him, because he's cute.

Brad Crowell 21:48  

bBut, but I was angry that I couldn't do it, and that was also ego. But like, I was angry. I was angry outside. I was angry at my ex, right? And I was angry that I couldn't figure it out. And I was angry that my I was just angry. And then when I when I knew was that, after I had beat the shit out of myself in a yoga class, I felt better. Like, ironically, you know, and like, if you know, talk about controlling, like I wanted every single answer to every every possible understanding of the movement, you know, and then, and then there was stuff that I was like, couldn't do. And it generally like, ironically, I was flexible, but I wasn't flexible enough in my own mind. And I definitely wasn't strong. And, you know, I think that anger, like, pushed me through the strength training barriers of where I was, like, I need to be able to hold this pose for whatever, 10 seconds, I don't know, like, whatever it was like. And it was like, I mean, I'm glad I didn't hurt myself, to be honest, you know, during it. But it was, you know, it took me a solid six months to enjoy the practice, you know, because I was just frustrated at everything.

Lesley Logan 23:04  

Yeah, I think, like, had you come to it for a different way, you might, like, it would might have been a different thing, but maybe you didn't, wouldn't have practiced that hard. Like, I think, I think that's what the point is. Like, what if we allowed our journey to whatever it is just be that, I think a lot of people want to change the past. They want, they want it to be a different way that they got into something. I remember, like, how I got into Pilates. I thought it was BS, and I remember not telling anyone that story for years, like I was so embarrassed that I actually thought that that Pilates was a gimmick, you know, I really was. I was like, oh. And then also on top of that, because when I became a Pilates instructor, people, most of the teachers were dancers. So here I was one of the few in my world, not in the world, but in my world, L.A., that was a non-dancer, and I thought it was bullshit, you know, like I was just like, I'm just gonna just, I'm just gonna bend back, I'm in the back, and no one's gonna know. But then I realized, like, actually, like, how I got to Pilates is probably how a lot of people think about Pilates. And what if I actually just, like, lean into the empathy of that, and it might actually allow more people to come to the practice, because then they don't feel stupid or silly or weird for thinking it's, it's, you know, not gonna work, you know? And it found, the more I talked about how I wasn't a dancer, the more teachers were like, I'm not one either. And then made them feel good. And so, like, what if we all just own the story that we have? It might actually make us all have more community and connection to different people.

Brad Crowell 24:33  

Yeah. I mean, it makes you relatable, you know, makes makes as a teacher, it makes you relatable when you're willing to, you know, share the things that it's I think, you know, there's always over-sharing can be wrong. But like, I think it's hard to know what will be received well. And so I feel like that there's fear there, and that's why you know, you're like, man, I shouldn't share that. But then, like, when you know if and when you do, it's like, oh, you know, like, well, I'm not alone in this, and other people are probably also not sharing, and now they feel permission to, you know, commiserate or connect, or, you know, makes them feel better about themselves, too. So, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 25:12  

Yeah. Love it. Okay, what did you love? 

Brad Crowell 25:13  

Yeah, so I loved this idea of good and bad. You know, he said yoga doesn't actually see things as good and bad. It's not like you have a good practice or a bad practice, or you're a good yogi or a bad yogi, you know. He said that yoga kind of sees things more in the does it work, or is it not working? You know? And he was talking about the specifically, like, when, when we were talking about this, it was more talking about habits. You know, it's like, the habit is there, whether it's a quote, unquote, good habit or a bad habit. You know, we're taking that and setting that aside instead. It's a, you know, how is this habit serving me? Is it, is it working for me, or is it not working for me, right? And specifically you were like, maybe you get frustrated that you sit there and scroll on Instagram all day long, but maybe you can see that as a good thing, because you actually need a moment to to just like, not think, right?

Lesley Logan 26:12  

Yeah, yeah. We also mean, we talked about, like, some people would say it's bad to drink, but like, if it if, if that drink made you that drink made you relax and connect with your family. Like, is it bad and and I think, like, is it wrong? So I've heard that this before, and a couple different things, obviously, like, there are things that cannot be great for you, but you, the difference is, like, is it serving you? Is it serving you? And it's okay for something to serve you and not serve somebody else. 

Brad Crowell 26:43  

Or what is coming from it that could be serving you, right? Like, it might not be the thing that is serving you like, like the alcohol itself might not be beneficial, but the quality time that you spent with family when consuming the alcohol that is worth doing, right, you know? So, there's, I still, I still love the idea that like everything in moderation, including moderation, you know.

Lesley Logan 27:08  

Well, I think the point is, because I think about Brene Brown, she's gone in my head a couple times in this conversation, guilt versus shame is her thing, right? Like, I think some people shame themselves. I had a drink last night, versus, like, I spent time with my family and I had a drink, and I love spending time with my family. I don't love I had the drink, but when I had the drink, it let me forget about the work that I had so I could spend time with my family. So I do need to figure out a way to get to forget about work so I can spend time my family. But we don't have to have shame around the drink, because, you know, and I think that's where it's like, we have to be kinder to ourselves. I think people just walk around. I mean, it's on the internet, right? People just shame people all the time. That's bad. That's wrong. You did that wrong. Like, no one is going way to go, like, you know, when's the last time you told a stranger (inaudible). 

Brad Crowell 28:00  

We definitely celebrated with OPC. I was gonna, I was gonna circle this right back around to your Pilates practice or your yoga practice, because when I first got into yoga, that was how I treated myself. I'm not good enough. I'm doing it wrong. I'm not doing it well. It's, it's not good, like I'm not a good yogi. And I was judging myself, but I was angry. I was angry at myself. I was angry at the world, you know, and like, you know, but I knew that, like physically, my body, like you ever felt like, you ever felt like so frustrated you just have to go run? You ever felt like that, where like running is somehow going to like be the thing, I and, like, that was that was like, you know, because you get that endorphins release and all that stuff, and that was what I was looking for without really understanding it, I just knew that I felt better after class, you know, and because I was also more relaxed and, like, my mind wasn't like, freaking out all the time, you know, at that point. But it still took time for me to like, took years for me to stop judging my own practice and like the idea that.

Lesley Logan 29:14  

But I think going back to like, there's a difference between saying something is bad and to lead to I'm bad, and asking yourself, and if we could just catch ourselves now, because this is why I love this conversation. Is it serving me? If the answer is yes, fuck what people think. If it's a yes, and tomorrow it's a yes, and then the next week, it's a yes, and then next month, it's a no. Then you make a change, but. 

Brad Crowell 29:44  

Sure, you can make a choice. 

Lesley Logan 29:45  

But I think some people are using judgment on good or bad, on things that are serving them, and then they're fucking stuck, like if you had not gone to yoga because I'm bad. It makes me feel like, you know, so I'm not, like, yoga would become the thing that's wrong. And then, like, you know what I mean? So like, is it serving me? It's serving me to go because I'm angry, and I can be angry, and it's serving me, and then all of a sudden, the anger at yoga no longer served you, and you let it go. So I think, like, there's a couple different ways to see this. 

Brad Crowell 30:20  

Or the anger at me is no longer serving me. 

Lesley Logan 30:22  

Yeah, so you had to let it go. So I think, what if we could all stop? If you and this is something we can catch ourselves doing here at this household, you and me together, but also, like our coworkers, your friends, like, if you go, oh, I know it's bad that I do this, hit, pull, that rubber band. Is it serving me, that I do this, right? Is it serving me that I do this? And if you can honestly say yes, then let the fucking guilt go, because it's not helping you. 

Brad Crowell 30:48  

You said pull that rubber band? 

Lesley Logan 30:50  

You know, you have a rubber band on your wrist. 

Brad Crowell 30:52  

Yeah, yeah. Snap it. 

Lesley Logan 30:53  

Snap it. 

Brad Crowell 30:54  

Like, hit the reset button. Yeah, you know. And, and it's, you know, that he took it a little bit differently in the conversation, because he's, you know, he was talking about all things serve a purpose, even if we look at it and say that's bad, you know? Because, you know, he said we wouldn't know love without hate, joy without pain. 

Lesley Logan 31:18  

I can think of a few people that I could still think the world's a better place if they weren't in it. I'm just gonna say, we all know, but like, I get the point.

Brad Crowell 31:27  

Perspective, right? It allows us to actually understand what we have in our world that is amazing, you know, because we can also see, oh, damn, I definitely that is not amazing over there. You know? You know that that's not giving that's not that is not working. That would not work for me, right? I mean, yeah, that wouldn't work for me. So, you know, it's a, he said, it's a balance, you know, and it's and each scenario you find yourself in, you can find that balance between, you know, is it working for me or not working for me? Or is it the good and the bad? You know, how can it be working for you? 

Lesley Logan 32:04  

I mean, you know, I love it because, like BJ Fogg always said, there's no such thing as bad habit. Every habit you have is serving some function. Now, there might be habits you don't like or are no longer serving you, but they're a habit. But there, you cannot say there's a bad habit, because it is providing something in your brain that's kicking off a dopamine otherwise your brain wouldn't seek doing it.

Brad Crowell 32:24  

Right. Yeah, yeah. I always thought about that too with, like, food, you know, there's something, even if it's like, quote, unquote, bad habit of, like, eating all the time, or, like, maybe you have, like, a consistent, like, I eat late, or whatever, and you know that it's like, not physically helping you. There's still something in your head that's like, I need that thing, whatever that thing is, you know, I need that glass of orange juice, you know, I need the sugar, you know. 

Lesley Logan 32:49  

Well, because it could be, it brings re lief, right? It's distraction, it might calm you down. There's so many different things that our habits do. So if there's something that you feel no longer serves a purpose in your life, right, you have to explore that and not judge that. I'm going to do a whole series on habits, actually, so we can continue this conversation on this like it's now an eight episode series I'm going to do about habits. 

Brad Crowell 33:19  

Really? 

Lesley Logan 33:19  

Oh, Brad has no idea. 

Brad Crowell 33:20  

What? Tell me more. 

Lesley Logan 33:22  

Yeah, oh, my God, I'm doing a whole episode, a whole series on my. 

Brad Crowell 33:25  

On where? 

Lesley Logan 33:26  

On the pod. I'm just taking over and not interviewing people for a few weeks. And I'm gonna tell you how to fucking do a habit. And we're also talking about unraveling habits that no longer serve you. 

Brad Crowell 33:35  

All right, you heard it here first, y'all, surprise. 

Lesley Logan 33:37  

So the thing the homework from this episode is just start taking notice of things, you know, the habits you have, the routines you have that no longer serve you. And we can bring that to the series, which will come out, I think it's going to come out either in December or January, so.

Brad Crowell 33:55  

Cool. All right, that's really fun. We'll stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to dig into those Be It Action Items that you covered with Anthony, which were also fantastic. So yeah, stick around we'll be right back. 

Brad Crowell 34:07  

Welcome back. Let's dig into those Be It Action Items that you had.

Lesley Logan 34:13  

You guys, I am notorious, like, I'm notorious, like, yeah, I'm ready. And then I just looked down, and he's like, just wants me to look at the camera when he says welcome back. So I'm sorry, everyone here we are. Welcome back. 

Brad Crowell 34:24  

Welcome back. 

Lesley Logan 34:24  

Say it with him. What bold, ex, you're not gonna say it with me? What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted

Brad Crowell 34:31  

Action items can we take away from your convo with Anthony Benenati?

Lesley Logan 34:35  

Just so you know, I always fade out, even when you sing Happy Birthday, because I can't. I don't like how I sound. Okay. I'm going first, babe, here we go. I'm taking away because I there's just too many things I loved. So he said, he states that it's important that we actually we focus on three things when you want to do things that you want to do. So first of all, to do anything you want to do, you have to actually have the desire to do it. If you don't have the desire to do it, you won't put the effort forward. Has anyone ever said like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna learn Spanish, and then you don't learn Spanish. So you have to have the desire to do it. This is, we're gonna talk about this in the Habit Series. I love it. Knowledge. You have to learn to do it. He actually said just doing something without knowing how to do it can cause you harm. This is very true. You have to actually learn how to do it. I'm actually trying to learn how to do tarot, because I like want to, we have a Ttarot episode coming out, and I like, want to understand how to like, do it better. And I want a tarot is a personal relationship with yourself. It's asking yourself questions. And I want to have, I don't want to do it wrong. I want to have a really good understanding of it before I start journaling and pulling cards. And really like doing it for real. And then third is action. Then you simply have to do it. But beyond doing it just once, you must commit to doing over and over and over again to create meaningful change. And I love this so much. We have to be okay with being beginners, are we okay for having, like, being on a journey of learning, and then you just keep doing it. And it's really amazing how when you do that, it's like there's deeper levels of everything that we do, and it's just so good. I am loving, I love this, love, I love this triad. Okay, Brad.

Brad Crowell 36:12  

Yeah, I think that that idea of desire, knowledge and action is so obvious, but we often will skip one of the steps. 

Lesley Logan 36:24  

Sometimes people skip desire. 

Brad Crowell 36:26  

That's what I'm saying. 

Lesley Logan 36:27  

It's terrible, like, that's a bad one. 

Brad Crowell 36:28  

I'm doing it because I have to, or I'm doing it for somebody else, but really, you don't fucking want to, and so it actually sets you up to fail from the gate, right? Because what's gonna happen, you're gonna you're gonna do it, and it's gonna build frustration or resentment, you know, or like you mentioned with step two, if you skip knowledge, you could hurt yourself. And then, you know, there's step three, which is actually being consistent with it. You can have the desire to learn. You could even learn how to do it. But then if you don't do it.

Lesley Logan 37:03  

Right, right, because you, because some people won't do things because they're they're too new at it, you know. Okay, your Be It Action Items, your takeaways.

Brad Crowell 37:11  

Okay, so he was talking about being careful with language, and you mentioned this too, right? How your body actually learns, your body responds to the way that you think and the things that you say impact, you know, like, what you think is what you're going to say, and what you think your body is also going to do. 

Lesley Logan 37:32  

Your body's not going to go rogue on you.

Brad Crowell 37:34  

Right. So, for example, you were talking about, you know, oh, I'm never, I never lose weight, or I'm never gonna get stronger or, you know, or I was thinking about just this, just the other day, I had somebody come, you know, we had somebody come to our place, and we were just taking photos, and the person said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's my bad side. And then shifted to the other side of the photo so they could get it. And I was like, that's like, I mean, of course, we've all heard that and like, it sounds like so Hollywood, but it's also, you know, like, that's a shame.

Lesley Logan 38:13  

Well, also, because you it just you have confirmation bias. You actually always see the thing that you're saying is bad, but your body listens. If you say you have a weak arm, your body's not gonna go let me show you how strong I am. No, it's just not gonna happen, and you'll treat it that way. So I really, I really think language, being careful with it, is something we could all pay attention to.

Brad Crowell 38:34  

Yeah and then the other side of it, too is let's say you have the desire and the action, the knowledge, I mean, and you're putting it into action, the way that you put it into action today might be different than the way you put it into action yesterday, right? And I think I had, especially with my yoga practice, never fully embraced this idea, ever. So for 10 years, I was like, I can always go further than I did the day before. That's just the way I always looked at it. It wasn't until I started lifting weights that I truly looked at it like, I just can't today, whatever, whatever, like, like, if last week I did 150 pounds, I just feel like, wimpy today, I'm not going to be able to do it and I and I could actually hurt myself.

Lesley Logan 39:28  

Yeah, that's why my trainer has me on a deload week because it's important for your central nervous system to, like, think things are a little easier. Can't always be building, building, building. You have to calm it down, yeah, so it's, it's so true, like our the way we approach things has to be different if we're listening to our body. 

Brad Crowell 39:47  

Yeah and, you know, so yeah, listening to your body, being careful with your language, being willing to, being willing to, not, you know, whatever, reach the goal or hit the to be the epitome of the pose or, you know, in our in my case, it was often handstand, you know, when it was yoga, or for lifters, it's like, I gotta hit my max. Last max was, you know, this, so I gotta hit, I gotta at least hit that and then more, right, like, being willing to be like, okay, maybe right now it's okay if it's different, you know.

Lesley Logan 40:24  

Yeah, it's interesting how, like, some of those things, just you'd learn with age, but also.

Brad Crowell 40:27  

I think with age and also, like death. I never felt like I was gonna hurt myself in yoga. I never felt like I could crush my skull. Like, if you're benching and you have too much weight, your body could slip and fail, and you could have 150 pounds crashing on your body like, that was, that was the moment where I was like, oh, okay. 

Lesley Logan 40:47  

So there it is, Anthony. We should have just probably go how to teach Brad he could have died, get a fucking broken his neck. Oh, my God. Okay, now we know. Well, I.

Brad Crowell 40:59  

But also that's translated, you know, like, I it took me an opportunity to learn, and then, you know, now, when I'm going back into my yoga practice, it's, doesn't have to be like, to the nth degree every single time.

Lesley Logan 41:12  

Yeah, I just show up. Like, that's where I'm at. I'm like, I'm really enjoying just showing up. So glad I get to do that. I'm like, I'm here today.

Brad Crowell 41:20  

I also feel a lot stronger, too, and less flexible. And I acknowledge that. 

Lesley Logan 41:25  

You're no longer a shark boy. 

Brad Crowell 41:26  

No. I mean, I don't think so. I'm still flexible, but I'm not like I was like before. 

Lesley Logan 41:31  

You have mobility. 

Brad Crowell 41:32  

Yeah, but I could put my foot behind my neck not in front of my head.

Lesley Logan 41:35  

I know, but you have but we need strength as we get older, it's really fucking hard to put it on. Anyways, I just this whole episode has so many gems I really enjoyed, like, reliving it. I think it's one that's worth going back to. And I think it's got, it's got a takeaway you might listen to differently each time you hear it. So, listen to it again. And I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 41:57  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 41:58  

Thanks for listening. I want to hear reviews. I want to hear takeaways. I want your fucking questions. Send it in to beitpod.com/questions, also your wins. I want your wins. I want a lot. Okay, I want a lot. 

Brad Crowell 42:09  

Yeah. We want it all. 

Lesley Logan 42:10  

Yes, I can't I'm not gonna sing a song for you. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Brad Crowell 42:14  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 42:16  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 42:59  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 43:03  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 43:08  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 43:15  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 43:18  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Anthony Benenati, founder of City Yoga and That’s Not Yoga®, shares his personal evolution from his earliest experiences with yoga to developing a practice that meets each individual where they are. In this conversation, he explores breaking limiting ideas about yoga, uncovering its deeper meaning, and building genuine human connection through mindful movement. He also reflects on how curiosity, learning, and purposeful steps can lead to lasting change. This is a conversation about healing, empowerment, and finding a practice that truly serves you. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Anthony’s journey into yoga and the pivotal moments that shaped his path.
• Breaking common stereotypes and misconceptions about yoga.
• Understanding the true purpose of yoga beyond the poses.
• How yoga fosters authentic community and connection.
• The power of desire, knowledge, and action in creating transformation.

Episode References/Links:

• Anthony Benenati's Website - https://thatsnotyoga.com
• Anthony Benenati’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thatsnotyoga 
• Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/3edLCLc

Guest Bio:

Anthony Benenati is the founder of City Yoga, The first Anusara yoga studio in California and That's Not Yoga® , a culmination of three decades of study and practice in the Hatha Yoga tradition. Anthony’s philosophy is simple; fit the yoga to the student, not the student to the yoga. He believes that it isn’t about the style of yoga you practice, rather, the effectiveness of that style for your body. Yoga practice should help you transform, not cause more suffering. 

Anthony draws from a deep knowledge of the different classical styles of modern yoga and other modalities to construct a path of healing and transformation for their student. Anthony has trained in Kundalini, Ashtanga, Iyengar, Anusara and Viniyoga. He specializes in Yoga Therapeutics and tailors the practice so your body uses its natural movements to heal itself from pain and suffering. He has taught globally and has trained thousands of students.

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Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
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Episode Transcript:

Anthony Benenati 0:00  

One of the misconceptions about yoga is that anything goes, right, and that is so far from the truth. If yoga is about anything, it's about setting meaningful boundaries.

Lesley Logan 0:12  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:51  

All right, Be It babe. I am so stoked for you to hear today's interview. Our guest today is actually a dear friend of Brad and mine, and he is a person we have quoted on the podcast before, and he's someone we said, we have to get him on the pod. And guess what? We did it. And also, I can't believe this is the first time he's on the pod. I feel like he'll be a regular conversation, because it's just really fun to hear him share his perspective, and he is an amazing yoga teacher. And this is as much of a yoga podcast as it's not a yoga podcast episode, because we talk a lot about what really is yoga, and what does it mean to have a yoga practice, and what is it trying to teach us? And if you think you know what yoga is I'm gonna challenge you to listen, because I think it's really easy for us to have been fed something that it's not and then not realize, like, the amazing benefits that it has. And so I'm not gonna say anymore, because this episode is just one of my favorite it's gonna go hands down and one I'll quote in the future. And I knew that when I brought him on, I just knew that we would have an amazing conversation, and this is hopefully going to entertain, educate and inspire you. So here is Anthony Benenati. 

Lesley Logan 2:09  

All right, Be It babe, I'm really excited. This person is actually a dear friend, like I know I've said that about some guests, but usually they're a dear friend of like, a couple moments. This person I've known for like, 10 years, and Brad has known him much longer, he's been a regular in our lives. Anthony Benenati, you are one of the best yoga teachers I know, but also so much more than that. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? 

Anthony Benenati 2:33  

Well, first of all, thank you for having me on. What an honor. Who am I? Anthony Benenati, you said my name. I am, believe it or not, a yoga teacher, a professional yoga teacher. I've been doing this for 32 years now, which, when I tell people that I teach yoga, they they have immediate this vision of what that might be. 

Lesley Logan 2:56  

Yes, you should be in white. 

Anthony Benenati 2:59  

I should be in white or. 

Lesley Logan 3:02  

With a glow. 

Anthony Benenati 3:04  

It's not very serious or, right? Everybody has their assumptions of what yoga is, which, my job is to help educate and instruct on what the practice truly is versus what it has become. The practice that sort of everybody knows now, versus really, what it truly is and what its goal is.

Lesley Logan 3:29  

Yeah, I feel like we could also, like, talk about that for hours, because I had someone send me a reel of a guy on a Reformer with a, like, stationary bike in his hands and feet. And it was a joke. It was like an April Fool's joke. And he was like, okay, guys like, this class, we get cardio and core and like, he's holding the bike, he's it's obviously a joke. But like someone sent it to me, and I'm like, the fact that this is so hilarious that people who've never done Pilates before are sending this to me, tells me that what people think Pilates is has strayed far from what Pilates is. So I feel like I can understand that. And I find myself constantly educating people a little bit like, well, that yes, those are Pilates exercises and so, but it's not the inherent reality of it is. And so I feel like I understand that plight, that that journey you're on, in a little bit. 

Anthony Benenati 4:18  

You and I have had this conversation many times before, because you're so close to the source of it, and and that's what I love about what you do, what you teach, and where I am, and what I teach, is that there's a lineage, and you're very close to the source, and the closer you are to the source, the more authentic the teaching, the further down the line you get disconnected from that core source. Then everything starts to get watered down and miscommunicated. Lots of stuff gets forgotten. 

Lesley Logan 4:55  

Yeah, well, it's like the game of telephone, like, I mean, like when you play that game in school, like, you, the further it goes down the line. 

Anthony Benenati 5:03  

The more warped it gets. 

Lesley Logan 5:04  

Yes, yes. And it's funny, but also, like, that is the reality. Can we take a step back? Because, like, a yoga instructor of 32 years, that is a long time. And I think, like, there's not many of you. I mean, there's many of you, probably in India places, but like, there's not many of people who've had that many decades and and have studied the way that you have like, did you grow up like doing yoga? Did you want to be a yoga teacher?

Anthony Benenati 5:32  

No, this story is, is pretty remarkable. No, I did not grow up with yoga. In fact, I didn't really understand what yoga was until I was literally introduced to it after I moved here to L.A. So I've been in L.A. since 1991 before that, I was in the military. I was in the Air Force. And when I was in the Air Force, I was a competitive power lifter, and I played sports all my life. So my body was pretty wrecked in my 20s. I had a shoulder surgery and a knee surgery already, and I remember I was waiting tables, and I had met this girl, and I was taken by the way she sort of carried herself. She was she walked very upright, almost Royal. And I thought, you know, it's L.A., everyone's moving to LA to become an actress. And I thought, okay, this girl, right, she's like telling her family, I don't want your money, I'm moving to L.A. and I'm going to be an actress. So I asked her, and she laughed in my face, and she lifted up the back of her shirt, and she showed me a 13-inch scar on her spine. And she told me that when she was young, she had this incredible S curve in her back, and she was in a full body cast from her neck all the way down through her torso. And I said, oh, my God, that that sounds painful. And I said how do you move? You can't, I haven't seen you bend. She goes, I can't. The only thing I can bend is my hips. I can turn my hips, but I cannot bend my back. I said, well, what do you do for relief? And she said, I do yoga. And I was like, Well, explain what's that and how does that help you? And she said, I'd love to explain it, but I don't think I can. Why don't you just come to a class? So I did, and you know, me then, I was really big. I had all this muscle mass, right? And I went to my first class, and I could not finish, could not finish the class. It kicked my butt. And I was so, my ego got, got triggered. And one of the things that's important for me as a teacher now when I teach my students is that there is, yoga doesn't see things in good and bad. Yoga see thing, sees things in does it work or not? And at the time, ego served me, because it made me go back, and it made me go back and it made me go back. At the time, the reasons because I think I was going to get it, and that's fine for whatever, for whatever reason someone enters into the practice is fine, you're there. That's the important part. We can work on the why and the why always evolves as you get along through the practice. But for me, I tell people, ego brought me to yoga and it it kept me there.

Lesley Logan 8:34  

Yeah, I think, isn't it interesting, like, because I'll have I work with teachers, and they're like, oh, I don't want to work with people who want to lose weight. And I'm like, I, you don't have to promise them anything you can't do. But if, if that brought them into the space, I would much rather you a non like someone who's not going to manipulate or use them or lie to them to be the safe landing for them to find a movement practice that can help them love the body that they have, you know? So I'm not here to be I won't take you if you want to lose weight. I'll just say, here's the science of weight loss, here's how I can fit in and and here's how I don't, you know, but this is what we can do together and like building that trust. And if that's what brought them in, and that's what got them to keep coming at the beginning, but then they stay coming because of how it makes them feel, and then they become a person who doesn't worry about that, because they actually care more about how they feel than how that what the scale says. Like, to me, that's kind of like that same thing. Like, I think too often people are wanting to turn away that negative energy, that negative energy in air quotes, because that's not what something is. But really it's like, you can't just, you don't, we don't get to decide how people come to us. 

Anthony Benenati 9:48  

Right. 

Lesley Logan 9:49  

All we can do is like, kind of be a space for them to evolve and learn the what, what, what they wanted, what they're here, what we can teach them. 

Anthony Benenati 9:57  

Yeah, I'm glad that you said that. I'm glad that you said that to create the space, because that's exactly what it is, isn't it? It's like we want to create a safe space for them to explore them, and not come in with this bunch of judgment that I'm putting on to them so that they feel uncomfortable. I want them to feel as comfortable as they can. Starting anything new is difficult. We all know that. Let's not make it harder. 

Lesley Logan 10:22  

Yeah, yeah. I also like that you said there's like, there's not bad or good.

Anthony Benenati 10:28  

That's a radical, that's a radical idea for people. In the West, we are programmed this is good and this is bad. I can even hear, you probably hear this in your students' languages too. Oh, that's my bad side, or I have a bad leg, or I have a bad shoulder. And I'm careful with that, careful with the languaging. It's not bad. It may be injured, it may be weaker, it may be tighter, but that doesn't mean it's bad.

Lesley Logan 10:55  

Yeah. And I, well, I, there was a years ago, like years ago. I can remember where I was driving, but I can't remember the name of the podcast, I was in traffic on San Vicente trying to get to Wilson Boulevard, and I was listening this podcast, and they talked about how, like, we have to be mindful of how we talk about our body, because our body is listening. And they have done studies that, if you like, say, I gained weight, I'm someone who can't lose weight, like, I I'm fat. All this your bod, those people who say that they actually have seen that they produce fat cells, like, that's what they do, right? Versus like, they also, like, told people, like, oh, you had this knee surgery. And the person goes, oh, I had knee surgery, so my knee is better. They didn't have knee surgery. They literally didn't give it to them. They just pretended they put them under they had controls, don't worry there's other things, but. 

Anthony Benenati 11:42  

The placebo effect. 

Lesley Logan 11:44  

What you tell your body like really does matter and and I studied with BJ Fogg, who's the found who wrote Tiny Habits, and he's really the leading scientist on habits that everybody has been stealing from and, not stealing, it's the wrong word, they probably study with them, but at any rate, he said there's no such thing as a bad or good habit. Everything serves you. Every like the habits you don't like about yourself, if you don't like that you scroll on the internet. If you don't like that you binge-watch NetFlix that they'll all the habits we have serve us, they provide something because your brain actually doesn't want to be around anything that causes judgment or shame. So it, it's seeking, like, oh, like, maybe it's comfortable for you to it's soothing to just binge out and watch something you get you get to avoid the other thoughts you have, or with certainty, which we all are looking for and and so he said, If you so, you can't ever say I have a bad habit or I don't want to have good habits. They're just all habits. And then there might be habits you prefer and habits you'd like to get rid of. 

Anthony Benenati 12:42  

Right. I think in the context of the yoga conversation, yoga would simply ask, do your habits serve you? And that's another way to say it, right, whether it's good or bad, is it serving you? 

Lesley Logan 12:54  

Yes. 

Anthony Benenati 12:55  

So maybe at the end of the night, you've had a really shitty night and you need a drink, and most people would go, oh, my God, you teach yoga. You don't drink, right? There's another stereotype. 

Lesley Logan 13:06  

Yeah. 

Anthony Benenati 13:07  

But does that drink serve you in that moment? Is it going to control you? Is it going to take over? No. May it take the edge off and allow you to process the things that you're going through? Sure. Are there other ways to process it? Yes. But not everybody can just be like, you know what, I'm super stressed, and I'm just going to sit and meditate. That's not that's not realistic. 

Lesley Logan 13:30  

Yeah, yeah. 

Anthony Benenati 13:31  

It's not realistic for somebody, you have to meet people where they are, yeah, yeah, and make the changes gradually. 

Lesley Logan 13:38  

Well, I mean, do you have to meet yourself where you are? 

Anthony Benenati 13:41  

Well, yes. True.

Lesley Logan 13:44  

That's a bigger, that's so huge. I just, you just mentioned something I thought it would be really good timing, like, since there is the stereotype of what yoga is, especially in the West, especially in big cities, oh, actually, even now, because the way things work in rural areas. It's just franchises so like so, what is yoga really?

Anthony Benenati 14:08  

Okay. How long is this podcast?

Lesley Logan 14:11  

We can have you back for another. We can split it up. 

Anthony Benenati 14:13  

Part two. On its most basic level, yoga is a practice. It's been, well, the iteration that we know as yoga today has only been around a couple of 100 years prior to that, prior to the last 5000 years with yoga, yoga has been a ritual, a path, a practice to transcend the known or the physical, to transcend it to, instead of saying I am my body, yogis back then would say, I am not my body. And then they would use the practice to try and extricate themselves from their body. So, a free soul, you can think of it that way, the soul that inhabits me is limited by this physical boundary, and I'm going to use the yoga practice to liberate myself from this physical, literally, prison, is how they thought of it. But things evolved, and as things do over hundreds and thousands of years, consciousness changes, and societies evolve, and mindsets change, and even language changes. So yoga now has become a physical practice to help the body and the mind connect. So there's a saying that if you keep the body to cool the mind, most people, they start thinking a lot when they stop doing. And that's why a lot of people are just doing all the time, do, do, do, do, do, and there's no room for thinking. And then when they stop doing, all of these thoughts start coming up, and they don't know how to deal with them, so they just start doing again. Which is, I guess, a way of pushing things down so that you don't have to deal with it. 

Lesley Logan 16:05  

Yeah, yeah. 

Anthony Benenati 16:06  

Yoga gives us a invitation to try something else. Iit's a, it's an invitation to be like, how does my body work? And how does it work better? And not for the sake of the practice itself, but how is it going to help my life? Even if you do yoga every day, let's just say you do 30 minutes of yoga every day. There's 23 and a half other hours. What else are you going to do? Hopefully your yoga practice is serving that.

Lesley Logan 16:37  

Yeah, yeah. 30 minutes everyone is 2% of your day. If you want to do the math, it's 2% so if you can't give 2% of yourself to something that helps you become better, the other 98% like, I love that. I love the way that you described it. I think that it's really true. And I think it kind of like takes it away. Because I think people get caught up in the process of yoga, the poses, or the styles, and that's just all process which no one really, like, in the world of marketing guys, sells nothing. No one cares about the process. They care about the transformation, the the idea of like, you know, you said, like, breaking free of this limiting thing that would be like the thing, the promise. Let's go back. You, we kind of got, you got the ego kept you going to yoga. Why did you, like, did you know you wanted to be a teacher? Like, did you, I, because I had the same thing. I went to Pilates kicking and screaming, to be completely honest, and I thought it was a bullshit infomercial workout. And then I loved it, and then I kept going back, because I felt really good. And it wasn't till someone said I should be a teacher that I even thought about being a teacher. So how did you become a teacher? I mean, like, 32 years, take us back.

Anthony Benenati 17:46  

That's exactly, that's exactly, right, it was my teacher at the time that had told me. He told me after class. Now this was, you know, maybe a year, year and a half into starting with him. But he said, you know, because we've had multiple conversations, not just in the classroom but outside, we'd go and have tea or whatever. And he goes, have you ever thought about teaching yoga? And I said, absolutely not. I mean, why would I? Why would I do that? I barely know the practice. He says, I understand that, and I can get you more information, but I see something in you that I think will help other people. And I think what he saw, and after teaching a whole bunch of teacher trainees myself, the most effectual teacher is someone who understands how people get to the practice. And what I mean by that is if, for instance, if I grew up in the yoga tradition and my parents were teachers, and I had been doing yoga all my life, and I never really understood the struggle of a tight body, of not being able to do the poses, of not understanding the language, of having no connection to yoga, whatsoever. Then I couldn't offer that to anybody else coming into the practice, because I would, I, some of the teachers that I train who are super flexible, for instance, they never understand what it's like not to be so it's hard to have empathy for the student that is having a very difficult time doing the most basic movement. And I think empathy is such an important factor to be a great teacher, you have to be able to put yourself in their shoes. 

Lesley Logan 17:47  

Yeah, yeah. 

Anthony Benenati 17:47  

Or barefoot as it, in the yoga studio.

Lesley Logan 17:47  

Yeah, yeah. I agree. Like, I think, I think, you know, I used to be embarrassed by, like, how I thought so negatively about Pilates, and when I realized it was actually probably the way that made people trust to even try it out, like, I also thought it was bullshit. So, you know, I got it. And then the other thing, like, I do have one of those hypermobile bodies, but I fractured my tibial plateau right before I met and I remember, like, all this fear about, like, what that meant for my Pilates practice, what that meant for my weight training, my running, everything right? Was like, fear going on. And then I also realized in my own healing, how easy I was giving it to people with knee surgeries. Because I was just like, okay, like, don't move this in time thing and so I have an injury, I was like, oh, there's actually a lot of things they can do. There's like, so much like, and there's also so much they can't do, but like, you know, like, we don't have to, like, push them, but at the same token, like, we can challenge this body because it got injured for a reason. There was an imbalance, and that's why that happened.

Anthony Benenati 18:11  

Correct, correct. And we're here to address that imbalance, right? A lot of times, yoga is translated as union, which is a very simple, and it's not a direct translation. The root word of yoga is actually thousands of years old, and it's yuj, Y-U-J and it means to yoke. Now this is an old fashioned term. You know the yoke when they used to yoke the horse to the cart or the ox to the cart. 

Lesley Logan 21:02  

I'm nodding, because I did do the Oregon Trail, and that is where I learned yoga. 

Anthony Benenati 21:06  

Okay, there you go. So that's the image that I want people to have here, and it's very important, because what you have, so yoga, at that point, becomes an action. It's a verb. It's not just a noun. What is it? But what is it doing? It's joining. But what is it joining? It's joining two different things, right? The cart and the horse. Now, alone, these two things serve purposes, don't they? But if you connect them, then you can do incredible things that neither one of these things could do by themselves. So in the yoga practice, we say one and one never equals two. It always equals three, because there's you, there's the thing, and then there's the thing you guys are creating. So it's you and Brad as individuals, and it's your marriage, which is a living entity. And it has a life of its own. And if you don't feed and nourish that third thing, not only will it die, but then you're broken apart again.

Lesley Logan 22:15  

Yeah. Yeah. You should become a counselor as well.

Anthony Benenati 22:18  

What do you think after class is about? When people feel comfortable with you, they come after class and then they start telling you about deeper issues, right, things that not the body, but the why, the why that they're here. Why are they struggling? Why are they having a hard time? I was actually listening to one of your previous podcast this morning, as we were taking me and my wife were taking a walk, Ashley, around the lake here, and we were listening, and it was the client, or the person you had on that had stage four cancer. 

Lesley Logan 22:54  

Oh, yeah. 

Anthony Benenati 22:55  

And I remember you said something, and it was very astute. You said that. Well, you didn't know how many, and I looked it up, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day, and you said about 95% of them are negative, right? And it's true. It's like we have these same repetitive thoughts all throughout the day, and the majority of them, the vast majority of them, are negative or repeat from the day before and the day before and the day before. And at what point do you start addressing this and start changing the narrative? Yoga is the invitation to start learning that you can that there is an issue first and then the tools to change them. 

Lesley Logan 23:43  

Yeah.

Anthony Benenati 23:45  

So I love yoga as a verb, as an action, not just a thing like we can name it, and you can't just name it and make it yo. You can't just put goats in the room and call it yoga. It's not. 

Lesley Logan 24:01  

Yeah, I'm with you on that. I mean, like, because it's cute everyone and so don't at me. It is adorable, and if it gets people in, sure, but also, like, you're now paying attention to the goat, not you, which is like, another distraction that, you know, I think, like, I think, I think it's really easy, people want to distract themselves from all that's going on. Like, first of all, you've been a teacher since the 90s, so in L.A., which means use your studio was around during lots of things. Like, you know, I don't, I don't remember when, like, the riots were, if your studio is open, but then there was, like, 911 and. 

Anthony Benenati 24:46  

The riots werre '92 so it was just after I got here, so I opened the studio in '99 so 911 happened for us, and that was a remarkable time. Obviously, the next, Gulf War happened, and lots of other things. And, you know, the studio became a community. It became a place for people to go, even if they just wanted to sit and be in the room, let alone practice. I remember the practice after 911 people just wanted to sit and gather and cry and talk and rage and not move. They didn't want to move their bodies. They just needed community. They felt so detached.

Lesley Logan 25:24  

Yeah. I mean, I wasn't any, I wasn't in a practice at the time, but I remember, because we were in California, so you're so removed, but you're not, you know? And so I can see how, like, your space can be that. And I think, like, it's so cool and also so big to have us to do a practice that can be so many things for people. It can be the community that they need, it could be the safe space that they share, and it can be a constant, like, it's there, no matter when things are good or when things are bad. And we don't have a lot of those things, right? Like, there's not there's not a lot of places or things you can do even when times are good and when times are bad, and I know you're gonna tell me good and bad, but like, you know, in the in the happier, joyful times versus, like, the sadder times.

Anthony Benenati 26:09  

Right, now we're in a really difficult time, and we've been here before. 2008 we were here the last time this particular President was in office. We were here. And we go through these cycles, and they're not unlike other cycles throughout the history of life, and we will have more. And it's not always positive, it's not always happy, it's not always on the incline. Sometimes it takes a dip. And you and I both know that that's really where you're tested. You're tested in the dips. You're never tested when things are great, and you're never going to change when things are comfortable either. Change only happens when you're uncomfortable.

Lesley Logan 26:47  

Yeah, it's really true. One of the my favorite things that you would bring up when we were in class is talking about, like, you know, you can't have love without hate, the equal opposite. And I was hoping you can, like, dive into that a little bit for us. Because I think, one, I actually think since these several moments of 2008 and 2016, and and now it's really easy for people to not see good and so it makes me go, like you guys, like you're seeing all the hate. Like, are you recognizing it's equal opposite. But I also, like, I think it's hard. I think people are always waiting for another shoe to drop, as opposed to, like, noticing when things are are also going well. But anyways, I wanted to know if you could, like, just share a little bit about that, because my listeners haven't heard that, and it was my favorite things. Like, Brad brought up your, like, Saturday morning classes today in a call with people, and he said, like, there'd be like, 50 people in this room, and you know, like you would often bring that up, and it was always around the same time that, like, something not great was going on. We all just felt it, whether it was in the city or the world. And like, you have to remind yourself of those things. 

Anthony Benenati 27:53  

It ties into the whole good and bad thing, because it's a reframing of thought. Like, you have to really reframe this idea that even, even if it's something that you don't like, it's serving something. So it's a basic function of physics, like, things wouldn't exist if it didn't have an opposite, right? You wouldn't know joy if you didn't know pain, you wouldn't know laughter if you didn't know sadness, you wouldn't have anything to reference it to. So your capacity to love is directly related to your capacity to hate, to feeling these negative, quote, negative feelings versus these positive. They're there to balance each other out, and it's the idea is that it's your choice which one you want to feed. You remember Star Wars, right? Think about the force. The force is this, is this neutral thing, and it's how you choose to use it. They were all using the same force. But the lesson was, am I going to use this to help empower and further and engage, or am I going to use this for selfish and personal and destructive reasons? Same energy, how do you use it? So rather than wasting your time on whether something is good or bad or right and wrong, it really serves you to think, is this serving me? Because, like you said earlier, at some point in your life, it served you, whether it was to keep you safe when you were a child, for instance, maybe you were in a really bad home life, and you learned coping mechanisms. You learn, for instance, maybe how to shut it out, right, and how to go into your own cave, which is, which is very easy for me to do. If things get too much, I tend to remove myself and go back into this little cave. Well, you can't do that when you're in relationship. Yeah. Well, you certainly can't do that for very long, right? You need tools like, yes, I need to go take 10 or 30 minutes to myself, but I'll be back. It's that communication, to let that other person know I'm not leaving you. I'm not not communicating with you, but I do need to take care of myself. So it's changing, the languaging around this. So it helps me to think, for instance, this bad time that we're having right now, it's temporary. Now, temporary may mean years.

Anthony Benenati 27:55  

Yeah, I know I had a like, a thing, like, like, a little mantra card that's, everything, everything, everything is temporary. And I'm like, and temporary does not mean two seconds, two minutes, two weeks.

Anthony Benenati 30:02  

Exactly. There is no time limit on temporary, but it will end. Things always do. Things always change, but it was helpful to me to look at kind of life in that different way. I wasn't raised like that. I was raised as a Catholic, so it was always guilt and shame and right and wrong and very linear thinking, very black and white thinking, very dualistic, instead of this idea that maybe it's not so black and white, maybe there is the gray. And I think we're all learning that extremism on either end is not the path. So, far right or far left, we're not going to get anywhere because we're isolating. We have to find a way to start communicating again and finding common ground and stop making other the problem. 

Lesley Logan 31:41  

Yeah, yeah. 

Anthony Benenati 31:43  

That's my that's my I think that goes on and off the mat. Don't look at your body as a bad thing. Don't look at it as something that you need to conquer or change, or that somehow there's something wrong with you. How can I enhance myself? How can I make me who I am, and everything that I am that may not be somebody else, but very unique to me. How can I make myself even better, a better version of me, not, not somebody else. I don't have to be somebody else. I just have to be the best me I can be.

Lesley Logan 32:18  

Yeah. That makes me think of like, I interviewed a happiness strategist, and I was like, you know, I was like, this is interesting, because, like, like, can you be happy all the time? And she's like, well, of course not. She's like, like, she's like, she's like, but she said your ability to be happy is as directly related to how uncomfortable you can get, like, how comfortable withuncomfortable. You can get like, that's, can you like, what's your resilience? And she, you know, and I think, like, I think a lot of people have been outsourcing so long how they feel based on, like, what's going on out in the world, and not going back to like, how can I make myself the best version? Because we can affect the people around us more easily when you were talking about other it made me think you guys Google the Heineken commercial. It's quite long, but they literally took, like, people of opposite extremes and like, they took a guy who, like, voted against gay marriage, and then they took a lesbian and they put them in a room together, and they have to, like, build a desk, right? And like, and they, a table, or they build something. And the guy, like, this one guy is like, completely, I got this. I like, I can do these things, right? And she's like, and like, so they have to work together to build this thing. And like, each personal strengths have to do it, and then they have to sit down and have a beer. And at the end, the people who like when they interviewed them before they met the person they're building with, it would be like, I don't understand transgenders. I think they have to know rights, blah, blah, blah. And then they meet someone who's transgender, but they just built this desk together, and you watch this person go, well, let's have another drink and like, so it's really fascinating that, like, if we can actually stop, you know, being on the opposite sides, we can actually be together, and you get to know people, you're more likely to hear them and listen to them and realize we're kind of like what you think has been influenced by so much, by other people who are louder and you you actually love people who are around you more than you know, you know? And so I think that's what's so beautiful about a yoga class, or even Pilates classes, they can attract people from all sides of a spectrum and have a shared experience. And you know, because, and the more they get to know themselves, the more ideally, and this may be the idealist in me, like they think about caring for others, because they can, because once you've, once you've taken care of you, you actually have the capacity to actually care about other people.

Anthony Benenati 34:45  

Oxygen mask, baby. It's all about putting on your oxygen mask, right? You got to put yours on first. You can't help anybody else if you're passed out. But I like what you said there, too, because Yoga does want to meet people where they're at. I remember, I had this woman in class. She always sat up front and in the beginning of class, at that time, we would chant the sound of om in the beginning of class, just to settle the class and get things going. And she would never chant, and that's fine. You don't have to, right? It's again, everything's an invitation. But she did come up to me after class one day, and we had a conversation, and I asked her why, and she says, well, you know, I'm a devout Jew, and I feel like I'm sort of disrespecting my tradition if I'm doing something I don't understand. And I said, well, I'm so glad that you brought that up. First of all, yoga doesn't care what you believe. You can believe you know, Orange is God, and you can still practice. Yoga doesn't require a belief, it just requires a willingness. And I said, well, you're a devout Jew, so what are you comfortable saying? And she said, well, shalom. And I said, Well, what's in the middle of shalom? And she said om. And I said, exactly. So from that point on, we would chant om, and she would chant shalom, and she would just hold the om. It, for some reason, it gave her permission. It was totally fine with everybody else, and then she felt included. That was a wonderful story. 

Lesley Logan 36:19  

I love that. I think also giving people permission, right? Like, I think that's what, you know, people can have permission to move their body, but also be in practice. Like, that's why it's called a yoga practice, and I think that's what it does so well, something that, like, I call it a Pilates practice, and there are a lot of people like me who call it practice, but there's also a lot of people who don't understand that, and they don't call it that, and they're like, I gotta get this. And it's like, no, what are you talking about, like, you're never gonna like, you don't get that. Like, it's your body. Your body's different every single day. Like, there are days like, at 6am I do Pilates, and at 8am I work out with you, and my body between those two hours is very different. And I'm like, whoa. I, what happened on my dog walk that this is no longer an option. I do, I do like that. Okay, I want to go into, because I think, like, you have had so many chapters in your yoga career, and what how you are, how you are teaching yoga now, is very different than what you did for the majority on your studio and things like that. Like we talk about some, be it till you see it moments and like, kind of like, what your what are you being till you see it, right now?

Anthony Benenati 37:20  

You're right. I did go through a lot when you when you have a studio for that long, you know, you go through a lot of changes, including me and my original partner, we split, and then there was that moment where you had to decide who's going to fight for this, who's going to get the studio, because we both wanted it, and that was that was all about desire. Do you really want this? And how bad do you want it? And then after that, there were other things that came up every time you're being tested. And you will be tested no matter how committed you think you are to whatever it is that you think you want, you're going to continue to be tested. And it just is a way to reaffirm, do I really want to be it? Do I really want to do this? For me now, you're right. It is different. My body is different. My practice is different, and not in a bad or a good way, just different. This is the different body than it was when it was in my late 20s. Being it now is, for me, is really being about being authentic, being authentic to the moment, being authentic to my students, but really being authentic to my own inner voice. And every time I get on the mat, the first thing I tell my students is, listen, listen to your body. It's going to tell you something different today than it did yesterday. If you come onto the mat with an agenda, most of the time, you're going to be disappointed, because you don't know that your body's ready to do those things that day, that particular day, maybe you need something completely different than you thought. We have to be open to that. And then the day I decided that my time of studio ownership was over, that was a tough one. That was a really hard day. But the moment I decided to make that shift, I felt so much more freedom. Yoga had changed, you know, it really had become corporate. At this point, it was being completely watered down. People were barely doing teacher trainings and leading yoga classes, and it just became too much of a struggle to do the business of yoga versus being the teacher. You know, when you own your own business, you never are not working. That's the thing. It's 24/7 right? You don't get to clock out and go home and forget about it. 

Lesley Logan 39:50  

Yeah, there's a reason why I like, watch White Lotus. I'm like, because I'm not where I can't work and watch White Lotus like, this is me being awesome. That's how it serves me. Even if it, like, gives me a little stress and anxiety, I'm like, but I'm not working, so I get it, no, like, I mean, like, yeah, and then I I, I'm where I'm married to someone I work with. So it's never, it's never off. Yeah, but I, thank you for sharing that, because, I mean, like, I think a lot of people, there's an aspiration to start something or do something or own something. But as you said, you've evolved. Not only has yoga evolved, but you've evolved. Your body has changed. And I think sometimes we forget that as we evolve, we outgrow some roles, you know, and like, just like you outgrow clothes, like you outgrow, like you outgrow a role, and it's like owning a studio serves such a good purpose, like a good purpose at the time, like you had a partner and a family and, like all these things. And then it also got to a place where it's like all this is changing, and I have, too, you know, but that's so hard to like, because it's like a light switch. 

Anthony Benenati 40:58  

Yeah. Well, you know, I had felt it, but not really paid attention to it. And you know how your body does, your body will jump in there and it'll call your attention. And I literally had my one and only panic attack at that moment. It was like, oh yeah, this is a sign you are not in a good place. This, this, this, it's time to get out. It's time this, this had run its course. And that was a hard decision to really give up the thing that you worked so hard to create. But it was also learning that that was separate from who I was, that we were not inextricably connected, that we were these individual things, and we did create a third thing, but that third thing was dying, and it was time to change into something else.

Lesley Logan 41:46  

Yeah, yeah. What are you most excited about right now?

Anthony Benenati 41:51  

Oh my gosh, we are empty nesters. That's the most, 25 years of being a parent.

Lesley Logan 41:59  

I had someone I just interviewed. She's like, I'm a bird launcher. She's like, I've launched all my birds. They're all birds. They're all launched. Like, the positive of that.

Anthony Benenati 42:10  

It is so true. We are so excited about this next chapter for us, which is freedom in a lot of different ways, right? I mean, you're never not the parent, but they don't need you every day anymore. They need you when they need you and and happy to be there when they do. Like this morning, my youngest called from college, and she stayed on the phone for over an hour. And she just needed feedback. She needed to connect. She didn't necessarily need a ton of advice. She just, you could feel that she needed connection. For now, for me, it really is about this next chapter. Your lives are a bunch of chapters, and at being, you know, 50, I'll be 58 this year. It's a very I know, right? Yeah, I can't believe it myself, but this idea now that I can make choices solely for me or solely for us as a couple and not oh my god, what are we going to do with the kids, and is this child going to come? Or are they not going to come, or are we going to do this all together, that we can make these choices for ourselves, I'm really excited about that. That's the personal aspect of it. Professionally, professionally, things have changed, you know, ever since covid, everybody went online, and which is great. It's a great way to connect to everybody, but I still feel the need to be in the classroom, yeah, and we do those in persons, and we do those yoga retreats, and we do those monthly workshops, just so that people can have that feeling of connection and community again. 

Lesley Logan 43:52  

Yeah, I think that's why we do our tours, too. Like, I love being online, because I can impact people without having to travel as much. And also, like, I need to see bodies in three dimensions.

Anthony Benenati 44:03  

Right. How do you make an adjustment with you can't see and touch? 

Lesley Logan 44:06  

No, I'm literally going so if I was there, I would hold your arms still. Imagine I'm like, is your child around? Can they grab your arms and hold them? Hold their hold their arms. Okay. Now go.

Anthony Benenati 44:18  

That's so good. 

Lesley Logan 44:19  

You know, but like, I think, I think that's why, like, I like the idea of, like, really reframing what's good or bad. Because, like, I think it could be so easy, like, back before the pandemic, like, oh, online is terrible. You can't have those things. But we, Brad and I used to, like, call you just be on the phone. Because I was like, I can't handle the traffic. I can't but I want you. So just, just be on just be on speakerphone, and we'll mute ourselves, and we'll be, you know, but like, when the pandemic happened, I was like, oh, I love this, because now I can have access to the people, I don't live in the same town as you, and I, Brad and I still get to have that practice with you, and I think, but also, yeah, we miss, like, actual hugs and actually seeing people, and you have to be more intentional. But I think that that, I think then we are more intentional, you know, so that is also cool.

Anthony Benenati 45:08  

Yeah, we really mourned the day you guys left.

Lesley Logan 45:12  

When we moved from L.A. to Las Vegas was during the pandemic, and we didn't actually have a mourning, because nothing was actually happening in person, the more like it was a year and a half later when things opened back up and we were not part of the opening back up that was like, so it was a delayed mourning, a delayed grief for us. Okay, obviously, we're gonna all catch up, guys. We're gonna take a brief break, find out how people can find you, follow you, do yoga with you. 

Anthony Benenati 45:39  

Great. 

Lesley Logan 45:40  

All right, Anthony, where do you hang out? Like, are you on the Instagram? Or is there just a simpler way? How can people do yoga with you or learn more about what you're doing? Where do you where can they go? 

Anthony Benenati 45:52  

Well, they can go to my website, which is, thatsnotyoga.com and of course, there's a story behind that, because that's a pretty bold statement, which was intentional. One of the misconceptions about yoga is that anything goes, right, and that is so far from the truth. If yoga is about anything, it's about setting meaningful boundaries. So if you take a bunch of energy and you narrow it, you're going to increase the flow of that energy. Just think of water. Take a lake. Narrow the boundaries. It becomes a river. Narrow the boundaries even more, becomes a raging river. So most people think that if you limit their choices, then you're limiting their freedom. But I call it the Cheesecake Factory theory. Walk into a Cheesecake Factory and you sit down, and they literally throw you down a book. And they're like, okay, what do you want? And you can have anything. The book is like, an inch thick. And I just get overloaded because there's too many choices. I much prefer to go to a restaurant where they just print the menu that day and there's six things on it, and you can have this, this or this, and I'm like, great, I'll have that. The narrowing of your choices actually gives you more freedom, because you're constantly saying no to a bunch of things while you're saying yes to a limited amount of things, right? Like being in marriage, you're saying yes to Brad and no to everybody else. It's this process that continues throughout your entire day, right? What am I letting in? What am I consciously keeping away? I love that understanding.

Lesley Logan 47:42  

I love that. So you guys just so you know, because he didn't say it, but I'm gonna say it for him. Brad and I can do yoga online with this man. You do it three times a week. I try to show up twice a week when I'm there. And Brad, we're getting him on the 8 am wake up call. We're working on. Do you remember? Do you remember when he used to do it 6 am? I think we have to remind him that he used to do 6 am yoga. 

Anthony Benenati 48:03  

Absolutely. 

Lesley Logan 48:03  

When the bed was further away from the studio was the the thing. So you guys can do that. You can find that on, on, thatsnot yoga.com. You kind of just gave us a Be It Action Item. But I just want to see like, if there's any other bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. 

Anthony Benenati 48:18  

Okay. The the, the the triad, the triumvirate that we like to follow in the practice, is desire, knowledge, action. Those are my Be It moments. To break it down, you got to want to do something, then you have to learn how to do it, and then you do it, this whole idea of just do it, that's not going to work. Just doing something without knowing how to do it can cause you harm doing something and you don't have the real desire to do it, you're not going to put your best effort in. If you do those three things in that order, you can pretty much do whatever you want to do. You've got to want to do it. You got to learn how to do it, and then you simply have to do it, and you have to commit to doing it over and over and over again to create that meaningful change. Those are my action items. And the thing is, is, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. That's the thing. You're, exactly, more freedom. And that's whole, that's yoga's goal. Yoga just wants you to be more free. But that doesn't mean no boundaries. It means establishing meaningful boundaries, boundaries that are going to channel you in the direction you want to go. And guess what, people, you can always change your mind. You can always change your mind.

Lesley Logan 49:48  

I mean, that is like that needs to be on people's walls. Because I find like, you know, like, imagine if you never gave yourself permission to change your mind. You might, you might, the world might have lost a yoga teacher that day, because you would have had a panic attack and then a burnout, you know, like, you can change your mind on your schedule, you can change your mind on your goals. You can change your mind on lot of things, like, you know, and that is for the perfectionist, listening. That might be the hardest thing you learn.

Anthony Benenati 50:14  

I'm speaking to you, perfectionist.

Lesley Logan 50:17  

Yeah, oh my gosh, Anthony, obviously I could talk to you for hours. And clearly Brad is like itching to walk in this room, you guys, so we gotta let him in so you can say hi to his friend, but thank you for being here, and thank you for just sharing so much of your wisdom. I continue to learn from you. Always. I can't wait to learn more. Someday we're gonna do a joint Pilates, yoga. That is my dream. That is my vision. Maybe on the Summer Tour. Maybe you'll be our L.A. event. So see, you guys, let us know what your favorite takeaways were. Let Anthony know in thatsnotyoga. Let the Be It Pod know and share this with a friend who needs to hear it, because that's how everyone wins. You know, we all can take away something from this, and I'd love to hear what yours are, and you know what to do, until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 51:02  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 51:41  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 51:46  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 51:50  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 51:58  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 52:01  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan 52:14  

I'm interviewing Anthony. 

Anthony Benenati 52:15  

Hi, Brad. 

Lesley Logan 52:16  

Yeah, it's an interview right now. No, we're not done. You're just interrupting. We'll put this in the bloopers. He's come in twice, and I'm like, um. 

Anthony Benenati 52:24  

What's up, buddy? 

Brad Crowell 52:26  

I wanted to say hi. 

Lesley Logan 52:27  

Yeah. Okay, alright, one second, let me get to those Be It Action Items. Okay. We'll talk.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

In this empowering FYF episode, Lesley shares seven oddly specific affirmations for real-life challenges, celebrates community and personal wins, and reminds us that investing in our well-being is a radical act of self-respect. Whether it’s prioritizing annual health checkups or attracting clients through genuine passion—this episode is all about showing up for yourself.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Seven affirmations for real-life challenges and energy shifts.
• Charlotte Coker’s success in attracting a new, excited Pilates client.
• How preventive care is essential for living your best life long-term.
• The importance of being informed and making wise decisions about your health.

Episode References/Links:

• Seven Oddly Specific Affirmations - https://www.instagram.com/p/DI9R3AZuSk_
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

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FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

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• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:03  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:44  

Hi, Be It babe. How are you we're getting towards the end of August. Can you believe it? It is like the it's like the end of summer, this is when we start to get really sad about things, or maybe you're at the end of winter where you are, and you're like, thank God. So, so anyways, we're about to enter a different season in the world, and so I just want to say, make sure you take time for yourself to reflect back on what you did like about what you did, and what you want to change, because you have plenty of months to do that. Just plenty of time. There is, if we make it, you take time. And also, we don't try to be perfect, perfect about it, right? So on this episode, I share something that inspired me. I share one of yours. Hopefully it inspires you that there are wins everywhere in your life. I share a win of mine, and I share a mantra which may or may not have been skipped on those last three. Sometimes, again, I'm like, oh, I'm good. That was a great episode. And then I'm like, oh, there's a mantra. This is what happened, so I apologize if you missed the mantra. 

Lesley Logan 1:36  

All right. So here we go. This inspired me, Seven Oddly Specific Spoken Affirmations. So, Your Spoken Spells for the Everyday. I kind of like, I like weird things like this, so hopefully you do, too. So we'll always put the link in the show notes, in case you want to, like, save any of them for your own life. And I would love to know which ones you saved. You can even send it in, you can DM us. You could also send in your wins and questions to the beitpod.com/questions. All right, so Seven Oddly Specific Affirmations, an affirmation for when time feels scarce and the to-do list won't quit. Ready? I am not behind. I am exactly where I need to be. Time expands for what matters, and I move through my tasks with ease. I release the illusion of urgency. What is mine to do will get done. That's for when you have an endless to do list. Okay. An affirmation for creative blocks and trust in your flow. I am a channel, not a critic. My creativity is alive and abundant. I do not force. I follow. I allow the ideas to move through me as they wish, knowing what an inspiration is cyclical and never lost. An affirmation for spring cleaning and clearing stagnant energy. So I know it's not springtime, but you know what it might be time to clear some stagnant energy where you are. As I clear my space, I clear my mind, I release what no longer aligns, making room for new energy to flow. My home is a reflection of me open, fresh and ready for what's next, a spoken manifesto for body gratitude beyond just movement. My body is not a problem to solve. My body is not waiting to be fixed. My body is a home, a landscape, a masterpiece in motion. I live here and I live well. A chant for expressing your personal style of confidence. I wear what makes me feel alive. My style is not for approval. It is my own joy. And I am bold. I am effortless. My style is extension of my inner beauty. A spell to banish the energy of an ex. Yes, really. I release what no longer holds me. I cut the cords. I reclaim my energy. I call my heart back home. What is gone is gone, and I no longer open doors to the past. An affirmation disrupt to disrupt self-doubt at work. I'm an asset, not an accident. I know my value. I own my ideas. I bring value to the team. My efforts are enough. I release the need to over-explain or prove myself. I already belong. So, hopefully those were fun for you. They were really fun for me. 

Lesley Logan 4:12  

All right, time for a win of yours. All right. This is from Charlotte Coker. We know her from Agency, and she wrote, got a new private client who has never done Pilates, and she's loving it. She wants to attend two to three times weekly, heading to inbound studio shortly to attend for workshop with Carrie Pagès. Carrie is a dear friend of mine, so of course, it's so fun for me. So Charlotte, I hope you had the best time at Carrie's studio. Way to invest in yourself and give yourself permission to go do something that like lights you up, and way to be so passionate that someone who's never done Pilates before not only wants to do it with you, but wants to do it multiple times a week. That's huge. That's a big deal. Getting anyone to go from zero to three times in a week is a big deal. So congratulations. Thanks for sharing that with us. You guys, just being like, excited about what you do goes a long way. And I know not all of you are in business for yourself, and so that's not the point. But like, you are a magnet for great people to be in your lives. If you're passionate about things. I'm not saying, like, lie and fake it, but like, be it till you see it is about going well, who is it that I want to be? If the person I want to be doesn't complain and judge and criticize and mope, then what would I be doing? How would I be acting if I was already on the other side of this, right? And then it will help you. Oh, I need that version of me would have done therapy. That version of me would have moved. That version of me would have taken that new job, whatever it is, right? Like it helps you filter out what you're going to do. So thank you, Charlotte. 

Lesley Logan 5:40  

Okay, a win of mine. I'm really proud of myself. I've got all my annual visits done. So, dermatologist, the mammogram, gynecologist, blood work, all is done. So, so excited to have to say that and share that and well, how is it a win? Because there's always a reason to postpone those things. There's always a reason to postpone those things. And when you do, my loves, you suffer because you actually, your body is able to, kind of like, tolerate some things. You can start to tolerate feeling moody, you can start to tolerate feeling uncomfortable. You can start to tolerate, oh, I'm just getting older, so that's why I have this or that. No, some of these things have solutions, right? And so I'm not saying, like, become obsessive, but get your annuals done. And I when I talked about a mammogram a year ago, I had a bunch of people, maybe not like, a dozen, but like, at least seven people from around the world going I heard mammograms aren't worth doing. And I said, oh, did they suggest something else for you? And they're like, No. And I'm like, why on earth would you listen to someone say that something doesn't work, but then they don't provide an option that does? You guys, like that kind of shit pisses me off, because making women scared of things that could save their lives, but not offering an alternative that will save their life. Fuck that like I'm not okay with that. So yeah, mammograms can miss things, and maybe they're not great for you, but they also can do ultrasounds, right? There's other things you can do. Please do not let people who sound very confident scare the heck out of you, out of preventative measures that can keep you from getting sick or dying, right? Please do your research. It's really, really, really important to me that you hear that and that you know that, like, do the research about and not, and this is the hard thing, right? Oh, when you hear people say, oh, go do your own research. A lot of the research out there that's a bunch of shit, because it's just some people, like, preponderance of crap scaring you. So truly, it's gonna be hard, especially flummo states, and they've gotten rid of some stuff, but, but do, do call your doctors? Do find out like, well, where, where did you get that information? Where can I read about it? How can what's the best resources I can look at? For the pros and cons, for me, they can help you, right? So don't go off on some influencer who says I'm a wellness doctor. Like, go, go. I'm not one. So go find go. Like, talk to the doctors that you'd love and trust and ask them where they you can do the research so that you can arm yourself with the best information they are in practice, they're not perfect. We don't do perfect around here. So anyways, I am so proud. I got all those done, and it's I got them done before the summer tour, so I don't have to worry about it, and now I can enjoy the rest of the year. Start them again next year, but we got to take care of ourselves. You know, getting older is not for the weak. It just really, really isn't. And so that's why I do Pilates. That's why I wear a weight vest. That's why I I check on my hormones. It's why I bring on all the guests that we bring on to help you make sure you can be till you see it all the way into the very end. Hopefully it's over 100 having the time of your life, enjoying what you do. 

Lesley Logan 8:39  

Anyways, I do end these episodes usually with a mantra, so let me give you yours. Holy moly, can't believe this. We're coming okay, oh, this is great. I nourish myself with kind words and joyful foods. I nourish myself with kind words and joyful foods. I nourish myself with kind words and joyful foods. I love that go. Go be kind to yourself. Be your own best friend. All right, share this with a friend who needs to hear it and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 9:09  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 9:51  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 9:56  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 10:01  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 10:08  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 10:11  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Today's recap episode revisit Lesley’s conversation with Sarah Rhoads, founder of Commbi Shoes. They explore Sarah’s journey from a thriving photography career to becoming an innovative footwear entrepreneur, the intentional choices behind her reinvention, and how she learned to chase fear instead of letting it chase her. This recap digs into the role of curiosity, alignment, and persistence in turning a personal problem into a purpose-driven product.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Redefining fear as a signal for growth instead of a stop sign.
• Why trust and self-belief is crucial when building a business.
• The importance of protecting your autonomy to avoid burnout.
• Why specific regular habits are a form of prioritizing self-care.

Episode References/Links:

• Online Pilates Classes - https://onlinepilatesclasses.com
• UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/uk
• P.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagoland
• Cambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com
• FemGevity - https://beitpod.com/femgevity
• Weighted Vest - 
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• Commbi Website - https://www.commbi.co (Use code: BEIT10 for 10% off!)
• Ep 547 - Dr. Jennifer Perez - https://beitpod.com/gaithappens

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

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Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

If you're normally saying no to 80% of opportunities, maybe say yes to, like, 35% and just like, start to get warmed up by that muscle and have some fun with it, because it does lead to everything. 

Brad Crowell 0:10  

Everything Leads to everything. 

Lesley Logan 0:13  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:56  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the trailblazing convo, can I say that one more time? Dig into the trailbr. 

Brad Crowell 1:05  

Wow. Maybe you can't.

Lesley Logan 1:08  

I might not be able to wave it in. Dig into the trailblazing convo I had with Sarah Rhoads in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, you should. You'll also hear me fuck up her the name of her business right after she told me exactly how not to say it. And I just want to apologize, Sarah, you told me, I heard you. I was like, yeah, don't call it that, and then called it that. And I just want to say, like, I it wasn't intentional. Anyways, we'll get into Sarah Rhoads and her amazingness in just a second. 

Lesley Logan 1:38  

But Today is August 21st 2025 and it's Internet Self-Care Day. 

Brad Crowell 1:42  

Yes, it is. 

Lesley Logan 1:42  

So after this, probably get off the internet, is what it's going to say. But listen to this first. Internet Self-Care Day is celebrated each year on August 21st. This holiday is dedicated to using the internet to, oh, actually, it's different than I thought. 

Brad Crowell 1:56  

Yes, it is. 

Lesley Logan 1:56  

Using the internet to find resources that can help you take care of yourself. Many of us are so preoccupied with taking care of others, whether at work or at home, that we forget to take care of ourselves. Not these Be It Pod listeners, right? Self-Care is described as caring for oneself through practices that promote. I just love how they use that word to define the word. They do it all the time. Self-care is described as caring for oneself through practices that promote health and active management of illness when it strikes. There are many ways to regularly practice self-care through food choices, exercise, sleep and dental care. For example, dental care, yeah, that's a form of self-care. Also going to get your annual visits are a form of self-care. I say drinking enough water is a form of self-care, like self-care can be free.

Brad Crowell 2:42  

 I think the doctor's office visit thing is a big deal, you know, like. 

Lesley Logan 2:46  

Because it's so hard to get the appointment. It's so easy to ignore them. It's taken four people to get me a doctor's appointment.

Brad Crowell 2:53  

Yeah, it's a, it's like a, it's a rabbit hole, right? And that's, that's half the problem is, like, you always have to start with your GP and then your GPS refer you to these other places and lalalalala whatever. But the point is that that, like, it's, it's, um, you know, it's a multiple step. It's such a multi-step process, and there's so much time between that. Like, it just feels like one of the things, you're like, I'll get to it eventually. 

Lesley Logan 3:15  

Yeah. And then eventually you're like, oh, shit, it's been, like, a few years on. 

Brad Crowell 3:16  

Yeah, it's been years. 

Lesley Logan 3:16  

But if you do The Artist's Way, one of an artist states could be actually, like, making your doctor's appointments because they're so hard to do. They're not normal, right, just, like, to do. Anyways, if you are in the U.S. and you're trying to navigate your way through this shithole of a healthcare system, I see you, I hear you. Everyone gets to pick a cause in this world, and if that's gonna be yours, like, I will champion it with you. I'll highlight on your side. Like, I'm a big fan of dog rescues, but, like, I got a girlfriend who's we have a friend whose husband just had a random stroke. He's fucking our age. And she's stuck in another state, and she can't get, her insurance will cover the helicopter from Detroit to Denver, and she can't get Kaiser to just sign this one piece of paper. So they're stuck in a hospital for now, we're going on seven days waiting for someone to sign the piece of paper, and she's like, what do you have to do? I'm like, local news. That's we have to do, unfortunately, GoFundMe and local news. So anyways, self-care is going to your doctor's appointments. Take care of yourself. Also take care of yourself, because clearly, medical systems can't take care of you. So you got to care for yourself today. 

Brad Crowell 4:19  

You know, they're, they're, yes, they're, they can't take care of you, and there's, they're not going to be reliable in the near future either, so. 

Lesley Logan 4:19  

But if you hear an ad from FemGevity, I really do like them, and they are a great go-between, because they are the they actually answer my questions and they.

Brad Crowell 4:33  

But that's the irony. We're talking about a third party company, not the healthcare system. 

Lesley Logan 4:39  

Right, right, right, right. 

Brad Crowell 4:40  

And they better have their shit together. And yes, they do, and good for them for that. But also, what the fuck that it takes this to have that.

Lesley Logan 4:48  

Yeah, no, I have, I had to go pay on somehow on top of what I already paid for to get the help. But you know what? It's cheaper than being sick. So here, and also, like it has helped me. They've helped with my hormone therapy. They helped with my sleep. They helped with my digestion. So that's an act of self-care. So anyways, that got became a healthcare self-care day. But we'll, we'll move on. 

Lesley Logan 5:07  

Today, we are back from our tour, and we are getting ready to go to the U.K. 

Brad Crowell 5:13  

Oh, wait, there's one more self-care I wanted to talk about. 

Lesley Logan 5:15  

Oh, what? 

Brad Crowell 5:16  

OPC. 

Lesley Logan 5:17  

Oh, OPC is absolutely a great way to. 

Brad Crowell 5:19  

You could use the internet to take class and get you movement in on onlinepilatesclasses.com. 

Lesley Logan 5:24  

I just want to give OPC a shout out in amazing way. So, in today's world where everyone's trying to sell you on some gimmick bullshit of what Pilates is, Pilates arms, and how you have to look a certain way, fuck that at OPC, we will never sell you on weight loss. We will never tell you that you have to get that Pilates will make your bio look a certain way, but we will make you strong as fuck and make sure you have the longevity for the life you want to live. You will have so much support. If you only take five minutes of a class, we will still cheer you on and championship you. If you miss a week, you're like, oh my god, I missed it. We were like, That's okay. You're here today. Like you have unconditional constant support of people, a bunch of women and a few good men, constantly supporting you, no matter what you look like, where you're at in your practice, how old you are, what you can do. 

Brad Crowell 6:07  

A community is great. 

Lesley Logan 6:09  

It's freaking awesome. And I am pissed off this week over recording this. It's obviously a different week than you're listening to it, but if you were on my Instagram, I'm so pissed off at the way people think they can talk about women's bodies and what a body is supposed to look like, and Pilate Arms and the New York fucking Times did a whole episode on Pilates arms, episode, article and the opinion page on Pilates arms. 

Brad Crowell 6:31  

Did they really? 

Lesley Logan 6:31  

And, yes, they did. And then, because I can't read, it's behind a paywall and I'm too pissed to give him money, they tried to attribute it to political beliefs. Let me explain you right now. There's no such thing as Pilates arm so there's no way in hell, Pilates can be a right or left situation, but if you have arms, you can do Pilates. Congratulations. Pilates arms. Correlation is not causation, like people try to use Jennifer Aniston as like, oh, Jennifer Aniston's arms is because of Pilates. No. Jennifer Aniston's arms are because she's Jennifer Aniston, who happens to do Pilates. You like anyways, so at OPC, we'll never sell you on that ship, because that they're lying to you. We are honest people about Pilates being here for your longevity, for the health of it, for the self-care of it. So anyway, okay, I'll get off.

Brad Crowell 6:32  

Especially the self-care of it. So love that. 

Lesley Logan 7:05  

Get off my high horse. 

Brad Crowell 7:19  

September is coming and we're going to be in the U.K. We're very excited to be coming back. It's been two years since we've been there. We're going to be in two locations, we're going to be in Leeds, we're going to be in Essex. So if that is near you, or if you know anyone who's in the area, even if they have to drive a couple of hours, we're flying halfway across the world to be there. We'd love to meet them.

Lesley Logan 7:39  

We're actually driving all the way to Essex. 

Brad Crowell 7:42  

We, we are, we are driving. We're driving all the way up to Scotland and all the way back down to Essex.

Lesley Logan 7:48  

Yes and we don't even drive on that side of the road. So you can get on a train.

Brad Crowell 7:53  

We'll be driving for more than 20 hours in the U.K.

Lesley Logan 7:55  

You can fly from Europe to see us. Okay?

Brad Crowell 7:59  

I agree. 

Lesley Logan 7:59  

No excuses. 

Brad Crowell 8:00  

Go to opc.me/uk opc.me/uk and then in October, we're going to be at Pilates On Tour in Chicago, in Burr Ridge. 

Lesley Logan 8:11  

Burr Ridge. It's in Chicago Land, specifically, Brad. And do you know what's really funny is, people are like there's no such thing as Chicago Land. But then Rachel Maddow goes, I love Chicago because it has this thing called Chicago Land. And I was like, it's a thing. We'll be in Burr Ridge. It's the sexiest part of Chicago. You know it. Anyways, last week, so, last week, when we recorded this, so a month ago, more than a month ago, it was 75% sold out. So don't wait to get your tickets. Like, you can get a day pass. You can get a weekend pass. 

Brad Crowell 8:38  

I mean, there might only be those left. 

Lesley Logan 8:40  

Yeah. So the day pass, I'm teaching the Joe's Gyms. We're gonna have a booth. Yeah, it's also our 10th year wedding anniversary, so come celebrate with us. 

Brad Crowell 8:48  

Oh, actually, literally, that weekend. 

Lesley Logan 8:49  

Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the first, first time we'll get on a plane while the time changes, and we miss it all together. So, so check it out. Just Google POT Chicago, and the link is way too long. They didn't give us a short one. Then we're going to be in Cambodia, and you can join us go to crowsnestretreats.com. I mean, you can literally sign up even as close to two weeks before the retreat, because it's Cambodia.

Brad Crowell 8:49  

Or if you're coming from Singapore or Australia, it's really easy, you know, yeah, we'd love to come have you. Come join us at crowsnestretreats.com.

Lesley Logan 9:18  

Also October, because my team just thinks I'll just work every day. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. There's days off, don't worry. There's days off. We are going on making a Singapore event happen, because it's very rare that we have a layover during the daytime. So we have a layover during the daytime, and so we can do an event at Singapore. So reach out to us about that. And then our winter tour is going to be in December. It's going to be humongous and we'll announce this in the fall. 

Brad Crowell 9:43  

Yes, it is, this one's going to be even bigger than last year, and I'm already we're already planning it right now, in the summer, we're already planning it. We're going to be opening the doors to all that stuff in October, so. 

Lesley Logan 9:57  

While we're, while we're off around the world, you can be signing up for that winter tour, so make sure you watch out for that. Okay, before we get into Sarah Rhoads, we have a question to answer. 

Brad Crowell 10:08  

We sure did. Yeah, this is from a friend, Hilary Billings. She DM-ed you and said hey, do you like your weight vest? Needing to get one but I can't figure out what size or configuration would make most sense for me. I also don't want to look ridiculous, but I think I might just have to get over that.

Lesley Logan 10:23  

Yeah, so I do have a link to, here's the deal, it's not a, it's not a sexy company. You're gonna have to buy it on Amazon. But I have the link to the one I like, so.

Brad Crowell 10:32  

We'll put that in the show notes. 

Lesley Logan 10:33  

Check the show notes. Okay, I think. 

Brad Crowell 10:36  

Why do you like the one that one? What is it about it that makes it, I know we've gone through a couple.

Lesley Logan 10:41  

Yeah, so we're going back to the one I like, because the one that I have, I don't, I don't like the one that I have currently, and that's what I told her, so I like the one I had before, but I traded with Sue, because her husband bought her a 20-pound vest. She's not 100 pounds, guys. So, so here's the information about a weighted vest. You want one that's around 10% maybe 15% of your body weight, okay, so that's what you want. And there's a company that is called, like, Omorpho, and I'm trying to get. 

Brad Crowell 11:10  

Is this the one that you shared with her? 

Lesley Logan 11:12  

I tried to note I didn't share that with her. I try, I have an affiliate to that, and I don't like the vests are sexy and they're useless. It is two pounds or four pounds for women, and then six or eight pounds for men, what? And they're $300 so don't buy that one until I tell you to which is when they I said oh, I'll promote your vest when you have a weighted vest that actually makes sense with science. So it's beautiful, sexy, not ridiculous-looking, a waste of $300 and it doesn't even do what you need to do. So the vest that I like honestly, between the weight that you're getting, it's like between $30 and $60 it's not expensive. Where I think people have to be considerate is if they have chest abundance, if you have chest abundance, you might want to look at the one that I currently have, which I couldn't find online, but I'll tell you what it looks like. It has bungee cords on the sides. I think it's a men's one. It has bungee cords on the side so it works and it's longer. So if you have boobs, because the bungee cords can be loosened, and because it's longer, it can go across the boobs, yes. The one that we'll put in the link to the show notes, is the one I like. I can't, I can't attest to the chest abundance, because I don't have it. But why I like it is, it's actually short, more like a crop, and so it's not going all in on my lower back. I didn't, I don't like that, because my lower back then sweats. It's, it is the weight feels more distributed around my whole body. This one that I have just feels like it's very much on my shoulders. But maybe it's because I don't have boobs. Maybe if I had boobs. 

Brad Crowell 12:43  

No, I think it's also that it's too heavy. 

Lesley Logan 12:44  

It's also mine's too heavy. It's 20 pounds, and I really should be on a 16 pound weighted vest. So, Brad, congratulations, you have a vest, and that's exactly what you wanted. 

Brad Crowell 12:53  

It's more than 10% of my body weight, so. 

Lesley Logan 12:56  

20 pounds, it is. It's like, yeah, it is, unfortunately. I don't know who's gonna get it, but, but I'm new with a 16 pound one, I would say, like most people, should start with that 12 to 15 pound, if that's 10% if you're like, oh, that sounds really heavy. 15 pounds, start with a 10 to 12. You can all they'll last forever. Just give them to a friend who wants to start it like it just make, create an exchange, like a book club, you know. But check the show notes. I really like wearing mine on morning walks, because here's the deal, my dog walks now that I have a whoop man, that shows me how literally useless a dog walk is on your health. Like, of course, it's lovely. It's nice you're outside. 

Brad Crowell 13:35  

But you are getting steps so there's movement actually. 

Lesley Logan 13:36  

And you're getting steps. It's so great for that second heart, but it is doing zero on the strain that you can put on your body. And so adding the weight vest kind of intensifies the walk by about 15% so if you are looking for adding that intensity, maybe you're a really busy person, it's really good. Apparently, there is some science around how it's really good if you are perimenopausal, menopausal, and increasing bone density, strength, like that, all those things, I can't tell you, but Dr. Mclaire has done a post about it. And then there's a guy, something Easter, Adam or David Easter, he's in a whole post about it. So if you're really curious, take a look at those things. But I just personally like it because it really challenged me to sit up really tall. I can't. 

Brad Crowell 14:03  

It kind of forces you to you can't be leaning over when you got a weighted vest on. You can't be slouching. You feel it. 

Lesley Logan 14:23  

You should wear a weighted vest while it's pod, maybe I won't move all around the place, driving Brad crazy.

Brad Crowell 14:27  

I don't believe it. All right. Well, if you have a question, you could text us at 310-905-5534, or if you don't want to text, you can just go to beitpod.com/questions and you could submit either a win or your question. 

Lesley Logan 14:41  

And we want your wins. 

Brad Crowell 14:42  

We do want your wins because of our Friday episode, share something that you're really proud of yourself for, you know, like, it's, don't worry, it's not bragging.

Lesley Logan 14:50  

If you're like, I can't do it, then share a friend's win, and then you'll crack the seal, and then you can share your own,

Brad Crowell 14:55  

Yeah, let's go, let's go. Pull out your phone right now. Go to beitpod.com/questions. 

Lesley Logan 14:55  

Your win can literally be that you took a walk this morning. 

Brad Crowell 14:59  

Yeah, I want to see, I want to see some wins next week.

Lesley Logan 15:05  

If you've ever woken up on the wrong side of the bed, it's like, and then you go for the walk, like, the win is that you didn't let that keep you from, like, making the day a better day, just saying.

Brad Crowell 15:15  

You got this. All right, stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to dig into this amazing convo you have with Sarah Rhoads about some really cool shoes that she's been making. 

Brad Crowell 15:24  

Okay, welcome back. Let's talk about Sarah Rhoads. Sarah is a photographer-turned-entrepreneur and the founder of Commbi Footwear. After a successful career shooting for top brands like Keds and building a creative campaign, building creative campaigns with her husband, she made a bold pivot into footwear design to solve a problem she's personally faced. Together, she and her husband developed a modular supported shoe system. Even taught himself AutoCAD to help to prototype their designs, and we're gonna talk more about it because they're fun. But Sarah is actually a mom of three and a firm believer in curiosity and alignment. Her story is a master class in vision, grit and reinvention, and it was a really fun conversation. Yeah, she's very bubbly. 

Lesley Logan 16:11  

I just like her. She's also adorbs. I hope to meet her in person. So these shoes came on my radar. And I like, you know, if you listen to this pod long enough, you know, like, I love to be cookied. I just think it's the greatest thing. Because, like, sometimes you want something but you don't know you like that. You don't want to buy it right now, and sometimes you wanted to see it a few times to see, like, do I really want this? Like, do I miss it? So anyways, I'd interviewed the Gait Happens people, and they, like, slammed on our Birkenstocks, and it was like, a B minus. 

Brad Crowell 16:34  

It wasn't a slam. 

Lesley Logan 16:35  

Well, it was a B minus. Brad. 

Brad Crowell 16:38  

I listened to that episode, she said, she said. 

Lesley Logan 16:43  

B minus. 

Brad Crowell 16:43  

She said they're not, they're not the best, they're not the worst. It was a B, in the B.

Lesley Logan 16:48  

But also, it was a B minus. 

Brad Crowell 16:49  

She said that the problem with them was that they're too stiff, they really help with forming your foot, but then, like, there's never any give, so it's training your foot not to actually work. 

Lesley Logan 16:59  

Right So they actually are not doing the things that they say they're gonna do. So then I saw Commbi, and I saw these girls doing these ads, like how they wear them and how they use them, I was like, wow, that's really cool. I think this could solve the world's problems on, like, the footwear thing. And also they're much cuter, right? They're like, not so they're much sexier. 

Brad Crowell 17:16  

But what makes, why Commbi? What is Commbi about Commbi?

Lesley Logan 17:16  

But then I so, anyways, so then I ordered a pair. Okay, so order a pair during the winter, ordered some sandals, ordered the pair, and then I took a picture with them. And I, oh, I actually, I asked a question. I said, oh, when are the shearlings gonna come back? And the owner, Sarah, DM-ed me right away. Hi. This is the owner. We're out of stock on those right now. But like, here, I'll get back to you da-da. And I was like, whoa. She does her DMs like, I do my DMs. I like this person as a person, right like, now, now I'm past the company. Now I'm into the person. Then I got the shoes, took a picture in Palm Springs, and she's like, oh my gosh. She started chatting back and forth. And then I was like, looking at her story, and I'm like, I want her on the Be It Pod, because, like, if this isn't a be it till you see it story, like, I don't know what is, right, like, she's not a shoe person, she's not podiatrist, she's a photographer, and she, like, created a shoe. So now, what is what is it? I mean.

Brad Crowell 18:13  

Why is it called Commbi? Who? What? That's a weird name for the shoe, unless you understand what the shoe can do. 

Lesley Logan 18:19  

So speak so to answer, why was I asking about shearling? Because you can take the sh, you know how, like, Uggs have that, like, shearling bed, and then you wear it a few times, and then it gets matted and nasty. Well, her shoe, you can take that shearling bed out, and you could put a terry cloth bed in. You could put. 

Brad Crowell 18:36  

It's the bed of the shoe. 

Lesley Logan 18:36  

The bed of the shoe. 

Brad Crowell 18:36  

The bed, the sole of the shoe splits in two, and the bottom of shoe stays, and then the sole itself, the inside of the shoe can come off.

Lesley Logan 18:47  

If you, like, there's, there's definitely something in the 80s fashion that, like, this is absolutely something we've done, like, it's like a mix and match, it's a combination, right? Like, the mix and you can mix and match the beds of the of the shoe. And now I have like, five beds, and I mix and match them all the time. In fact, the last DM we have because I had a fly to Stockton for like 17 hours. And for flight, I wore the terry cloth because, you know, like, sometimes you're hot, sometimes you're cold. So I wore the terry cloth took the beds out, threw them in my purse. I only had an overnight bag because I was wearing the same outfit twice. Put the red the red leather beds in look dressy for the dinner party. Went back to my hotel, put the red leather up, put it in my purse, put the terry cloth on, flew home and nice and comfort like a slipper. So anyways, like I'm just obsessed, and she's so cool. So let's talk about her, because it's not an ad for her shoe. We make no money on them. 

Brad Crowell 19:39  

That's true. 

Lesley Logan 19:40  

She said, when my curiosity really is piqued and I feel scared and terrified, I usually know that as a thing I need to go after, and I resonate with that so much like we resist, like what we resist will persist, and like you have to kind of go through the fear to get to where you want to go. And she highlighted the hardest part of her pivot was getting over her self-limiting beliefs. I mean, like, can you imagine, like, being a photographer, a very established photographer, like fucking Taylor Swift, guys, Keds, all this stuff, and she's like, I'm gonna do my own shoe. And like, products are so hard. Product business is so hard.

Brad Crowell 20:17  

She said she flew to China to meet with her the manufacturing company, and there was a problem with the design, and so she bought a one-way ticket because she said I'm not coming back until we've figured out the solution. 

Lesley Logan 20:33  

Yeah, yeah. So, because the and.

Brad Crowell 20:36  

By the way, most shoes are made in China. That's where all the factories are for this kind of stuff, same with socks.

Lesley Logan 20:48  

Everything is made there, so. Except for our flashcards apparently,

Brad Crowell 20:48  

Well, we could. We have the choice. 

Lesley Logan 20:48  

We have the choice. 

Brad Crowell 20:46  

We do have a company in Florida for those. But. 

Lesley Logan 20:48  

Yeah, there are, like, some clothing brands that we've had Ripley Rader on, and there's some other ones that they can make their clothes in the US. However, you need to understand that there's not a single zipper made in the United States.

Brad Crowell 20:58  

Right. So, like, parts of it are still being imported. And like, yeah.

Lesley Logan 21:02  

Yeah. But, but she, I want to just keep going. Like she just the perseverance and like, she put a quote on her iPhone lock screen that says what if you have what it takes? And I really love this. I like, need it somewhere I can see it all the time. What if you have what it takes? And so I think, like, what she kind of obsesses about is like, I'm deeply curious about what the edges of my ability, what am I capable of? 

Brad Crowell 21:25  

What are the edges? 

Lesley Logan 21:26  

What are the edges? And to find that out, I have to go to the edge of my fear and look over it. And I think like to to for you first all to be it till we see it, it's going to require us to face our fear and look at it and believe we have what it takes. Because you gotta dress for who you wanna be, you gotta act for who you wanna be, you gotta make decisions for who you wanna be, even though you're not there yet.

Brad Crowell 21:48  

I bet you that. So, so I relate to this in the sense of, like, being on stage, and you know, when you're on stage as a big group, you can hide. When you're on stage and you're the front, at the front, it, you can't hide. And or if you're the only person you know, and I bet you that most Pilates teachers who have done a group class the first few times were really intimidating, right? Where you have to be up in front of a bunch of people speaking, right? And at first that was probably like, something that that was a little bit scary, but over time, you start to get through it right. And that, I think that's the kind of fear that she was talking about that like, you know, one thing that I really loved, that she said was, everything is working out for my greater good. Everything is working out for us, right? She and her husband, they say this daily to themselves, especially when challenges show up. This is like their their mantra, and they they genuinely believe that this helps to shift the focus away from the challenges that are impacting their businesses, which always happen, always. Challenges just seem to come by, right? So, but when you're focusing on the positive, that's one of the things that we that we challenge all of our members inside of Agency as well. Hey, when you're going to ask a question about a problem you have before you do that, you have to celebrate a win or to tell something that you're grateful for, right? And the reason is the same here. When you focus that everything is working out for us, everything is working out for my greater good, when you focus on those things, you're more apt to see those things when you when you say to yourself, everything is shit. I hate it all, you're just going to see all the things that are shit. You hate it all. We talked about this before. I can't remember what episode, but it was like, count the number. Like, if you say, if you look at something blue, and you say, blue, right? You look at blue and look at red.

Lesley Logan 23:26  

Oh, that's actually an episode that's coming out. It's Brad Bizjack. I don't think he we talked about that. 

Brad Crowell 23:31  

No, no, yeah, but you and I talked about it before. And, like, all of a sudden, you know, you start to see all the things that are red, or all the things that are blue, because you've focused on them. So it's the same exact idea here. And I just, I love that. I think it's great, you know. And she said that, you know, the other thing with, with being an entrepreneur, she said, sometimes you tackle something and it doesn't, it seems like a dud. Oh, I started this whole conversation with these people about this thing, and then nothing ever came to it, or, you know, whatever, whatever. And, like, you know, it seems like, where do I put my time and all the things? And she said, hey, everything leads to everything. Everything leads to everything, right? So being part of an entrepreneur is being someone who has an appetite for adventure, being, you know, being willing to explore. She said, there's no trail, no map, you're just kind of in the woods with the machete, right? And it's you're out there trying to figure it all out. And every time you make a new connection, you know, you might not have any like, reciprocation from that action today, but there will, you know, like, eventually things can are connected. It comes back. 

Lesley Logan 24:30  

Also, like sometimes, like just having a conversation that hits a dead end, allows you to get more comfortable with an idea that you might have had fear around. And then when you have it with a different person, you have a whole different perspective, because you it's not the first time you're voicing it. I always tell some of our Agency members, I was like, I taught a woman, she took a first time session with me during a time that a client was on vacation, so I didn't normally have that time. The client's only on vacation for one week, but she she came in for a first time session, and none of my other times worked out for her. And so I actually had to refer her to a friend. But do you want to know something? Love me so much. She sent me a ton of clients. Everything is everything. So she didn't, and why didn't she send to my friend who she took one, I don't know, but she sent me them. And the point is, like, don't go oh, I'm not gonna teach that person. I'm not gonna take that because, like, I'm only available this one time. It's like, just go have the conversation. You can always be like, that was really cool. Here's this other person, like, I'm someone who, like, sometimes sets to hermit. I get a little overwhelmed. So I totally understand if you're like, I don't want to go do that, but like, you have to say it's to all of the things. But try it. Try just going like, you know, if you normally say no to 80% of opportunities, maybe, maybe say yes to like, 35% and just like start to get warmed up with that muscle and have some fun with it, because it does lead to everything.

Brad Crowell 25:46  

Everything leads to everything. All right. Well, stick around. We'll be right back, because we got more gold coming down from Sarah Rhoads, in the Be It Action Items. We'll be right back. 

Brad Crowell 25:56  

All right, welcome back. Let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Sarah Rhoads? She said stick with it. Stick it out, right? And you two are having this really fun conversations about, you know, the overnight success of the actor and like, having lived in Los Angeles, we are very aware that, like, it's a slow, long road to it's very, very rare that someone is like an overnight success in the real sense of that.

Lesley Logan 26:30  

There's a really cool book that's that I just heard about where this, I forget the name won't come to me, but he literally, like the little like the tagline is, like, my 20 years to overnight success.

Brad Crowell 26:40  

Right, exactly. Yeah. I mean, that's the joke, right? That's the running joke. And you were talking about behind the scenes, right? The building phase. It's truly one of the hardest phases, because no one can actually see what you're doing. And she said that they just launched their company last, end of last year, but they've been working on it for three, right? And she said.

Lesley Logan 26:58  

Oh, yeah. I mean, like, I saw the ads. I'm like, oh, my God, they're a huge company. She's DM-ing me and her husband emails customer support, so. 

Brad Crowell 27:06  

They're both working. They answer everything, right? She said, it's really hard to do the work, the building phase work, and because, because no one around you can see the vision or the or the results of where it's going to be, where it's gonna go, and you have it in your head, right? And sometimes it's hard to convince other people that this is gonna be the thing. It's gonna be amazing, but, you know it will be, and that's, that's the thing. You have to trust yourself, right? She said, really good things are on the other side of the building phase of when you're able to finally open the doors, get, you know, launch your product, or introduce your book, or whatever it might be, like, the amount of prep time it takes to do it right, you know, you have to be able to believe in yourself and so.

Lesley Logan 27:52  

Yeah, I mean, I think the key thing, and I was like, oh, do you trust yourself? Like, do you? So she said, knowing deep in your soul that everything's working out for you, and knowing that anyone can do anything, what a be it, like, anyone can do anything. So why can't you do the thing you want to do? Because anyone can do anything. And she emphasized the importance of protecting autonomy pretty fiercely to avoid burnout. I'm gonna just say fiercely. Protect your autonomy fiercely. One of the reasons I see people burn out is they don't protect their autonomy. They they are afraid of losing a client or of pissing off a friend, so they just say yes to all these things, and their schedule is not their own. Their schedule is being formed by other people's schedules. And it's like the whole idea, like, if you don't have goals, someone else has goals for you. If you don't protect your autonomy, someone else will make sure your schedule is theirs. It's how it's gonna go. 

Brad Crowell 28:38  

It's true. 

Lesley Logan 28:42  

She prioritizes self-care through specific regular habits. She's also part of an amazing book club, and she makes time for it, and I think that is so cool. She hikes and gets outside nature three days a week. She stays connected to make things that make her feel alive, not just what makes money. And she advised trusting yourself and believing yourself. So with that, trust keeps coming up. You guys, let me just remind you three children, and they're not older. When I asked her, I'm pretty sure they were, like, under 10. So like, young.

Brad Crowell 29:10  

The kids, yeah, I think the oldest, I'm pretty sure, actually, now I don't remember. But yeah, they're not old.

Lesley Logan 29:15  

I don't think not a single one of them can drive themselves anywhere. So here's what my point being like this is a mom and a business owner who works with her husband, and if she can protect her autonomy fiercely, you can do it. You can do it. Yes, it's hard. Yes, people are gonna get pissed off because you're changing the boundaries on them. You're changing the rules they will get over it because you're gonna be a funner person to be around. That's just what I think. Sarah Rhoads, you are amazing. I love you so much. I hope we can be friends.

Brad Crowell 29:48  

Me too.

Lesley Logan 29:48  

I hope she's, what if she's listening? Well, anyways, I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 29:54  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 29:55  

Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. Go check her out, and if anything, let her be an inspiration to what you can do. You can change your career anytime, because you're curious and you believe in yourself, and Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 30:08  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 30:10  

Oh, we didn't tell. 

Brad Crowell 30:11  

Oh, we got a secret for y'all. 

Lesley Logan 30:14  

We have a secret. 

Brad Crowell 30:15  

Yeah, we got a surprise. 

Lesley Logan 30:16  

I don't know how. Don't let them go too way soon. You guys, Commbi has given us a secret discount code for you. BEIT10. 

Brad Crowell 30:25  

BEIT10. 

Lesley Logan 30:26  

Yeah, get 10% off your shoes. And if you're like, what? Yeah, no, she just gave it to me, and I love it. I've used it. I have four pairs already. Don't worry, I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna wear them all this weekend in L.A. They're so comfortable. I'm quite (inaudible).

Brad Crowell 30:40  

Clearly she said that they they are even making them for men. 

Lesley Logan 30:43  

They have men's shoes. I showed them to you. Yes, I know we gotta, we gotta work them out, babe. 

Brad Crowell 30:46  

We gotta work them out. 

Lesley Logan 30:48  

We gotta get you switched over. Yeah, there's men's collection. 

Brad Crowell 30:52  

They're pretty cool. 

Lesley Logan 30:53  

They're really cool. 

Brad Crowell 30:54  

Yeah, they look good. 

Lesley Logan 30:55  

I, really obsessed. I literally wear them all the time. I don't even put, I like, I used to be a tennis shoes person always. Now I'm like, slipping on my Commbis to go outside to get the mail, because, holy fuck, the sidewalk is hot, so I gotta put them on. And I just love them. And my toe spacers from Gait Happens fit on my toes while I'm wearing my Commbis, which is essential. That's a couple plugs All right. Now you can go, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 31:20  

See you next time, y'all.

Lesley Logan 31:22  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 32:04  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 32:09  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 32:14  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 32:21  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 32:24  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan 32:37  

Oh, it's, where's my phone? It's on Instagram. 

Brad Crowell 32:40  

It's on the gram the Instagram.

Lesley Logan 32:52  

All right, I'm here. 

Brad Crowell 32:53  

You're here. 

Lesley Logan 32:53  

Can we go? 

Brad Crowell 32:54  

Can just sit how you're gonna sit. Okay, you gonna sit over there, or you gonna sit on the other side? Where are you gonna sit? This isn't a merry go round. 

Lesley Logan 33:08  

I'm gonna sit right here. We need a couch. 

Brad Crowell 33:11  

I'm gonna adjust the sofa. This is the sofa. I've adjusted the sofa. Here we go. We do need a couch. That'd be fun. I'd love to change up our setup.

Lesley Logan 33:22  

I know I want to go to Joy Bird. I want one of their cute couches.

Brad Crowell 33:26  

I'd love to get, like, a wide shot and a. Joy Bird, what? 

Lesley Logan 33:31  

Oh, look up Joy bird's couches, amazing.

Brad Crowell 33:34  

Well, we'll get there, but I want to actually, like make the lounge vibe. That'd be cool. 

Lesley Logan 33:38  

Yeah, this is not the vibe anymore. 

Brad Crowell 33:40  

Yeah, I'm in on change. All right, cool. Here we go.

Lesley Logan 33:44  

We could do wallpaper instead of this.

Brad Crowell 33:48  

We could, but I think we should actually have like, different backgrounds so that you could have one for Profitable Pilates, one for this, one for that.

Lesley Logan 33:56  

What if we did walls? What if this is the Be It wall that was the Profitable Pilates wall? 

Brad Crowell 33:56  

And we just like, rotate, like. 

Lesley Logan 33:56  

Yeah, we just rotate the chairs. 

Brad Crowell 34:12  

Like the whole floor, like. 

Lesley Logan 34:14  

Yeah, oh, they could just, like, press a button.

Lesley Logan 34:22  

No bad ideas on a brainstorm. 

Brad Crowell 34:24  

She can't help herself. Literally cannot help herself. 

Lesley Logan 34:29  

I'm ready. 

Sarah Rhoads went from photographing celebrities to reinventing her life at 40 as the founder of Commbi Shoes, a modular, podiatrist-backed footwear brand rooted in beauty, function, and sustainability. In this inspiring conversation, Lesley Logan talks with Sarah about entrepreneurial grit, radical reinvention, and building purpose-driven products with your family by your side. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why Sarah left a successful career at 40 to start Commbi Shoes.
• How to find courage and push past fear when reinventing your career.
• The power of building a brand rooted in function, beauty, and sustainability.
• What it’s really like behind the scenes when building a business with your spouse. 
• Sarah’s approach to entrepreneurial challenges and problem solving.
• Why it’s important to protect your autonomy to prevent burnout. 

Episode References/Links:

• Commbi Website - https://www.commbi.co (Use code: BEIT10 for 10% off!)
• Commbi Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/commbi_official
• Sarah Rhoads' Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahrhoads
• Ep. 547 with Dr. Jennifer Perez - https://beitpod.com/gaithappens

Guest Bio:

Sarah Rhoads is the fearless founder of Commbi, a groundbreaking footwear brand born from courage, curiosity, and a refusal to settle for “good enough.” Once a sought-after fashion photographer for major global brands, Sarah boldly reinvented her career to design the shoes she—and countless women—had always dreamed of wearing. With zero experience in footwear manufacturing, she turned fear into fuel, spending years creating a patented, interchangeable design that delivers both comfort and elegance. A wife, mother of three, and unstoppable innovator, Sarah’s journey is proof that anyone can chase a wild idea, break past self-doubt, and create something extraordinary that changes lives one step at a time.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

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Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

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• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Sarah Rhoads 0:00  

The biggest thing that was the hardest for me is getting over my self-limiting beliefs in the beginning, like that was step one for me, when I started to sort of say, no, like, this feels insane that I want to do this, but like I want to do this, and my curiosity is pulling me, and when my curiosity really is piqued, and I feel scared and terrified. I usually know that that is the thing I need to go after.

Lesley Logan 0:30  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:13  

Hello. Hi, Be It babe. Welcome welcome to the podcast. Oh, my God, this is so fun, because you're about to hear two women who've never met but totally love each other already. Just connect and share stories. And our guest today is Sarah Rhoads of Commbi shoes. And like one of the things I love about this podcast is I get to meet some really insanely amazing people and also, like, hopefully start wonderful relationships. At any rate, I really was excited to share her story with you, because I do think it's what you need right now. You need to hear a story about someone who's not a shoe manufacturer making the most amazing shoes. You need to hear about a woman who had a very, very successful career pivot to doing something she's never done before. And you need to hear that, you know, you can do all these things while being a wife and a mother and be authentic to yourself and do the things that let you up. So I'm super excited for this episode, so I'm gonna let you get right into it. Thank you, Sarah Rhoads for being here, and here she is. 

Lesley Logan 2:08  

Okay, Be It babe. I'm gonna tell you right now that like today's guest and I aren't best friends yet, but I hope in the future, we are because I already love her so much. I've been following her for a while. I will say, probably our first guest that I, like, got me by an ad so but, but our audience knows that I'm someone who's like, I'm gonna click on that ad. I love being cookied. I love when ads follow me around and remind me of the things that I want to have. And so today's guest is the founder of Commbi shoes, and it's Sarah Rhoads. Oh my gosh, hello, welcome to the Be It pod. Can you tell everyone like who you are and what you rock at, just in case they haven't, they didn't find you through Instagram like me.

Sarah Rhoads 2:49  

Well, first off, I'm so happy to be here, Lesley, and thanks so much for having me. You just have such a great energy. And I love other women that are doing great stuff. So I am a photographer turned entrepreneur. And as Lesley said, I own Commbi, which is a shoe company. I'm a founder of it that basically I created the dream shoes that I myself couldn't find, and I went and created them. I've never made shoes before. This is all just like if you told me 10 years ago, this is what I'd be doing now, I would have surprised myself. So I did a complete life pivot in, I'm 40 this year, and I basically went from a really successful career as a lifestyle fashion photographer shooting for Fortune 100 brands to doing Commbi, which is now I make shoes.

Lesley Logan 3:41  

I am obsessed. And like, I really like, I feel like, you know, like I got stalked by your gorgeous shoes. And I just was like, it was winter time, and I was like, I don't need those yet. I was on tour, and I was like, we'll just like it. We'll just like it. And then it was like, the seventh one. I was like, okay, I'll just buy them now, so they're at home when I get home and I DM-ed you about a question about because, okay, you guys, we're gonna get into her shoes in a second. I'm gonna get to our journey. But I just want to say, the shoes, why I was obsessed with them, is like, oh, I could just take the insole out and change it so I have, because I'm someone who needs to have a lot of shoes. Like my mother, she probably, I was, probably not a nice compliment, but she was like, you're like, like the woman from the Philippines who has a million shoes. And I was like, yeah, I do. I love shoes. I have no blank T-shirts, guys. I only have shoes and sweatshirts. But I, so I was upset. And you yourself, DM-ed me back. And I was like, another founder who reads her own DMs, I'm already so now I'm like, well, now I'm following and I'm gonna stalk you a little bit.

Sarah Rhoads 4:41  

 I'm all about the, I like, love interacting with people, (inaudible) building is like, what I'm all about. And I created these shoes as much for myself as I did for others and to help people. And I was like, so I really like to, like, talk like, I still, Chris, Chris handles all, my husband and co-founder, Chris handles all of the customer service emails. I handle all of the DMs, all the socials so, yeah, we're like, in it.

Lesley Logan 5:12  

Yeah, no, I feel you. Like, I we have an amazing customer service team too, but like, I do read all my DMs. People are like, oh, it's you. And I'm like, yeah, like, how will I know what to create, if I don't talk to you. Before we go into why your shoes are so amazing, even more though, you are a successful lifestyle photographer, like, there was no need to change anything except for that, you wanted amazing shoes for yourself. How? How do you, like, I know lots of our listeners are like, but how do you make a pivot like that because it's not like, you're like, oh, I'm going to be a photographer, and then I'm going to, like, you know, make a camera, something that you're familiar with. You're like, no, I'm going to make a shoe. And as someone who also makes products, like, you don't know, thank goodness you don't know what you don't know when you get into it, because otherwise you wouldn't. But like, how did you make that pivot?

Sarah Rhoads 5:56  

So, I think, you know, to start a little bit back, my husband and I met when we were 18 in college, and we have been working on creative endeavors together, like since we met. And so, you know, in some kind of entrepreneurial fashion, you know, basically what started as creative services through photography. I mean, we've shot Taylor Swift for Keds, like all these brands, and really, I think alignment is a really important thing to me, and I'm very I always feel like I'm very attuned to when I feel like I'm not on the right path. And there started to become a point I have three kids that are eight, six and three, and there started to become a point where I was just feeling not as creatively invigorated by these things I was working on in advertising. I will always be a storyteller, because it's just who I am. I love photography. However, it started to just feel like this isn't as fulfilling to me and my purpose and my calling at this stage in my life as I need it to be. So there was that, coupled with I was a dancer and I had foot issues, and being on set, I would be shooting people for 12 hours a day on my feet. I'm not a tennis shoe girlie. I do not wear heels. I have, like, sort of some foot issues. So I had tried every shoe in the game. I had tried Danskos, Birkenstocks, the Vince mules, like, if it was, like, stylish and, you know, Net-a-Porter, like, styles that I like, they had zero support. If it was like, you know, orthoticy, biotic, all this kind of stuff. It was grandma looking and so, like, I had resorted to putting insoles into my mules and my clogs and my slides on set, and my husband was like, this looks so bad, Sarah, because, like my little like insole would be flopping around. It's awful, because I wear, like, open back shoes. We live in California. That's like, my lifestyle. And so basically, we set out, like, this was, like three years ago now, to sort of say, well, let's get a 3D printer. My husband taught himself AutoCAD, and we started inventing, essentially, like, how could we take a like, allow people the opportunity to completely like, first off, create a supportive shoe. So we worked with podiatrists to create a shoe that's number one, fits the need that I needed, which was supportive, and then design it in styles that I myself wear, but then allow people to modulate it like based on the season or their preference. So for example, I hated how my Uggs, the shearling would go flat after a season, and I'd have to throw away this beautiful mule that I was like, this feels so wasteful to me. What if I could just, like, switch out that element and then keep the whole shoe like, it feels more sustainable. It feels more like practical, I'm a practical lady, and so that is how we came to basically file for our patent after we've did several thousands of iterations on like, how could we make this work where you can modulate just the footbed and allow people to be creative, allow people to be in the driver's seat of what they want, provide something that's more sustainable in a way. And so thus became like, well, okay, I guess we're inventing a new way to do shoes and.

Lesley Logan 9:22  

You, I mean, like, literally, like, that's why I don't have any of the shoe. Like, I had bought the shearling Birkenstock. So I was like, oh, those are so cute. It's like, four years ago I needed some house slippers in the summer, you know, we, our house is tile, everyone. So if you, if you walk around tile with bare feet, you just get ugly feet. So I was like, oh, I'll have these, like, shearling. No, within a summer, it's like, rub down and it's ugly. And now I have this shoe that is perfectly fine. It has not been worn enough. And then also, did you okay? Get this. So, I interviewed one of the founders of Gait Happens, G-A-I-T Gait Happens on this podcast. It hasn't released yet, but you gotta check it out. And I said, oh, my husband wears, like, Birkenstocks. This is the only shoe he wears. And she goes, I give it a b minus.

Sarah Rhoads 9:23  

Same. And that, I hate, I don't, I'm not here to diss. 

Lesley Logan 10:11  

Right. We're not, you're not dissing. I'll bring up their name.

Sarah Rhoads 10:14  

Yes, but I am sure to say for not, not for everybody. Like, I thought, work is like, hard. It's like, I didn't like that it took such a break-in period. So I was like, why don't I create a supportive shoe that has a memory foam that doesn't have the break-in period of a Birkenstock? Like, why not try something different? So, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 10:32  

Okay, so, I'm sure people caught on so, you're 40. You have three kids under 10. You're my you're like, a superhero. How like, and you and your family made this transition together? Like, there are so many questions I have there, which is, like, to switch financially, your whole thing over, and then to be present for children. But also, like, not burn yourself out. Can you tell us the process you went through?

Sarah Rhoads 11:02  

Yeah, okay, so and I'm still going through it, to be totally honest with you, I feel like a pivot, the biggest thing that was the hardest for me is getting over my self-limiting beliefs in the beginning, like that was step one for me, when I started to sort of say no, like, this feels insane that I want to do this, but like, I want to do this, and my curiosity is pulling me. And when my curiosity really is peaked and I feel scared and terrified, I usually know that that is the thing I need to go after. That's sort of my recipe for, like, I know that's on my path of alignment, and I kept feeling that. And so I really had to do a lot of work to break down my self-limiting beliefs, number one, to even step into this space of like I can do this, you know, and so much so I had, you know, this, this on my home screen of my iPhone, I had like, a thing that said, what if you have what it takes. You know, it's still on there, actually, what if you have what it takes? Because I had so many moments of like, this is insane, no one's going to understand you, Sarah, like, why would you do, like people are going to be like, what are you doing? Like, and all those self-doubt, things, that (inaudible) imposter syndrome we all deal with when we pivot, or we're even thinking about pivoting. And I just started to, like reframe that for myself, to be like, no, I am deeply curious about what are the edges of my ability. Like, what am I capable of? And like to find that out, I have to go to the edge of my fear and look over the the edge of it. And entrepreneurship, so much in this journey for me has so much been, as much as it's been an external one, it's more of an internal one for myself, of like, can I do this, and do I have what it takes? And I, I do, like, I think all people can do all things genuinely. And, you know, it started there, and then, you know, of course, my husband and I, as co-founders, had to really come together of like, okay, can we utilize our previous skill set, which we've done our 10,000 hours plus on mastering, is there a way to parlay that also to be a strength in this new world? And there is, like we just shot our Commbi campaign for all of the new material, like we utilize our skill sets that we have used in our previous We Are The Rhoads studio all the time, like all of our network of models and you know, all of that is used in this new business, which is so cool. And I think like trusting that and knowing, like, hey, I didn't know how to really make a product that I learned got on a plane, and you can learn anything if you're curious enough and willing to be, like, moldable, I think anything is possible. And so that's kind of, we launched August last year, and we've had.

Lesley Logan 14:06  

I had no idea. I had no idea. I had no idea. That's insane. Okay, so it's not even a year old yet.

Sarah Rhoads 14:13  

No, we're going on our first year and, like, I mean, we've been working on this behind the scenes for like, three years, so it feels a lot older to us, but it's also, you know, we're a new company, a new business, and every day is learning. And as an entrepreneur, as you know, every day is learning. And for me, the meaning of life is to learn, to grow and to expand. And so for me, this is checking all those boxes every single day. When I wake up, I learn new things everyday. So you know what I mean?

Lesley Logan 14:43  

I do. Everyday I'm like, okay, like, well, and also, what happens is, like, you still you, unless you take time to reflect, you don't realize, like, the things you learned a year ago, you're actually now an expert at, and you're slaying but there's just a new, new thing. You did it now, and with everything that goes on all the time. You're kind of like, okay, okay, so how do I, how do I take what I believe in and exist in this area because this area has changed now, but I want to exist like this here. And so you are, you, it's a, it, you know what? It's a lot if they say, like, if you want to learn about yourself, become an entrepreneur, because you really learn about yourself.

Sarah Rhoads 15:19  

It's true. It's true. And I'm, like, deeply curious about, like, okay, what are the depths of my ability and, like, my capacity, I, you know? And, yeah, you learn it. You're scared every day. You know that, that's for me what I'm like, retraining my brain right now, the work I'm doing, is to learn that this is what it is. This is normal. Problem solving problems is, is that is what it is to be a founder. That is what it is to be an entrepreneur. You grow out of a system, you expand into something else, like, oh, we're having to expand warehouses right now because we grew out of this. It's like, at first, I was like, oh, oh no. Is something wrong? It's like, no, that is, that is, that is what it is. It's figuring things out and you know, like, that's what entrepreneurship is, is creative problem-solving a lot of it, so.

Lesley Logan 16:11  

Yeah, well, congrats on outgrowing your first warehouse, or maybe it's your second already. But I, I want to highlight let you like, like, what we know as Commbi, like, what we've seen is almost a year old, but that you guys have been working behind the scenes for three years. And I think that that's the thing that like, no matter how many times I hear it, I have to share it because, because we are like, oh my God, look at the successful brand here. Look at what they're doing. And it's like, you didn't see the three to four years of sweat, tears, wonder, fear, lots of money invested. Like, you you actually are seeing the like, there is no such thing as an overnight success. Like, we know this, you and I live like you still live in L.A. but I lived in like, we know that no one is an overnight movie star, that was like a decade of auditions and like little roles in the background and all these different things. And then they filmed this thing two years ago, and they've just been waiting for us to all see it. So, you know, I think it's like we have to be reminded of that, because if you have an idea that you are going for and you're feeling frustrated because it's been a year, it's been three to four years before the rest of us, like, before, and then also, like, do you just heard me say it like, took like, seven times for me to go, yeah, I think, you know, like, the world is like, taking its time to site, making decisions on what it wants to do with your product. And so it's not personal. It's just like, that's how long things take.

Sarah Rhoads 17:35  

Yeah, and I would say, like, I would encourage anybody who's like, in that phase of, like, building behind the scenes, I feel like that's, it's truly one of the hardest phases, because no one can see what you're doing, and you have to have this, like, self-determined belief in yourself and what you're doing. And that takes, it's really hard to do that work, but like, stick with it. Like, stick it out, because I feel like really good things are always on the other side of that, like that curiosity and that sort of determination, but it's really hard to do that, that type that space, that's the building phase, where no one can see what you're doing, and you're just like, I'm creating this thing. I hope people will like it. I hope people will like be (inaudible), like it will help their life and and then when you get to launch and you see like it does, and you hear from customers being like, oh my gosh, I love this. I love your shoes. They're like, exactly what I want. Like, it's like, oh, I didn't just create the shoes for me. I created them for, you know, other people too. 

Lesley Logan 18:43  

Yeah, well, I mean, like, just to give you a compliment to your face, since, like, because you need it. Another one, I'm sure, as a business, I'm always, like, give me all the compliments on my things. You like, I am almost a size 10 foot, and so, like, slides were never awesome because my heels would somehow hit the ground. No one wants their you know what I mean? And then, like, and then I have a wide toe box, but a narrow heel, and it's just always been an issue. So I was a tennis shoe girly, because, like, that's it. That's the only shoes that would stay on my feet and keep and so, but I am like, oh, these shoes. I feel like, I feel luxurious in I feel like they're, you know, these are not just like, like when I put my Birkenstocks on, yes, I still, I have some pairs. Like, I'm like, I'm like, okay, this is a laid back, this is.

Sarah Rhoads 19:28  

I'm like a granola girly. (inaudible) to offer something that was like, right? 

Lesley Logan 19:35  

But I don't want to be a granola girly every day. Like, I want to be a girl. Like, that's, I am a girly girl. But people like, I love like, I just did a photo shoot that I haven't put some of the pictures up yet, but like, it's, I'm obsessed. We're rebranding the podcast, and I got this green emerald green, like Wizard of Oz green fur coat.

Sarah Rhoads 19:59  

That is like your color, girl. 

Lesley Logan 20:01  

It's so good. It's so good. And I'm like, and like, I'm like, this, and then I put it, we did a whole fashion shoot at the Plaza Hotel because they have all the light bulbs on I'm just like, obsessed, oh, it was amazing. I'll have to show you when we're done. It's fucking phenomenal. Anyways, but like, I was like, I want a casual shoe that makes me feel girly. So like, congratulations, you nailed it, and I can't wait to see what comes out. Also, since you live in L.A., do you know Ripley? Because the two of you should be best friends if you're not, Ripley Rader, do you know her? Okay, your shoes, here's my vision. Not and no one asked, I think you, I think you and Ripley should do a collab together. Your shoes with her clothes, insane. And you're both photographers. You guys. 

Sarah Rhoads 20:41  

Ripley is her brand? 

Lesley Logan 20:42  

Ripley Radar. Yeah, the perfect pant also, yes. 

Sarah Rhoads 20:45  

You gotta introduce us. 

Lesley Logan 20:46  

I'm gonna introduce you guys, because in my perfect world, like, you got, like, her lines with your shoes, like, fabulous. And then, because you're both photographers and you're both in L.A. like, this should this is just a magical match. I'm just gonna make it happen. I met her through the podcast. They approached me, and I was like, is this the woman whose pants keep following me around my Instagram? Yeah, I want to interview her, and now I have a bunch of her clothes, and I wear them with your shoes, and I love it. 

Lesley Logan 21:13  

So, okay, I want to go, like, the things, what are the things you do when you're like, feeling it? Because I think, I think that the thing that makes more, that makes an entrepreneur move faster, because we all are going to fill obstacles. We are problem-solving everyday, but like, the quicker you get to, like, overcoming the fear of failure and noticing your ish, like, the quicker you can move through it. Like, how do you move through that fear or the obstacles, like, what are the tools you use? Do you have a mantra? Do you have music like, what do you do? 

Sarah Rhoads 21:45  

Man, I feel like there's a couple things I, it's not like a formal mantra, but something I say every single day is, everything is working out for my better good, like, a greater good, everything is working out for us, like Chris and I this morning, literally, like he made me a coffee, and despite, like, there's a lot going on in the world right now, tariffs impact our business. Like we could sit there and, like, sort of focus on that, but we just said to each other, like, everything's working out for us. Like everything is working out for us. And I really it's not sort of BS, like, I really genuinely believe that when you look at my life, when I look at like the now that I have some wisdom of life, I'm like, oh, like everything is genuinely working out for us. And I also believe that everything leads to everything, as silly as that sounds, I have this, this other female founder that I love, and I'll always like, Sheena of Kosas. She's a badass, and she has been kind enough like I shot her very first campaign when she had one lipstick, like, years and years ago. And she's helped me on my journey as a founder of a product, and she is the one who told me she's like, everything leads to everything. And just trusting that has been a really powerful mantra for me, just in terms of, like, knowing that even if there's a setback, guess what, everything leads to everything, like or this relationship, it might feel like just a dead end call, guess what? Like, those things down the road lead to other things they really do. And so, like, I feel like part of being an entrepreneur is being someone who has an appetite for adventure. Because, like, the way that I sort of akin it to is like you're in the woods with a machete, like a hatchet going through the woods. There's no trail, there's no trail heads, there are no maps. And you're going through the woods with a machete trying to forge a path up this mountain, and you see these, like beautiful people, or rivers along the way that are like, oh, good water. And then there's like, a little light over there, and that little light ends up being a person that's like, you know what? Like a Sheena, or these, like someone that's like, hey, you should meet Ripley. Like, who knows what that leads to, whatever it is. And they're like, you know what, hey, there you should you should go over that way and talk to this person. You start going on that path with your machete, and then before you know it, you have a manufacturing partner that's fantastic. And you are, you have a great like, product that you're like, working on making better. And anyway, I just, I feel like that for me, keeping that mentality of being an adventurer has been, like, really paramount to trusting the process, even when you have setbacks, even when you're in the woods with your machete and you don't see the way forward. Just like, you know what? I have to trust that it's all part of the plan. 

Lesley Logan 24:46  

Yeah, it is so true. It's so true. Like, as you were saying, like I was just like thinking, like, all the different things that happened, so, before we hit record, I live in Las Vegas, right? We were talking about it. The reason we own a home. Is because the world shut down, not because, like, we, like planned and put it out. Oh, we have a life plan together. We're gonna do this. You guys, Brad and I would have lived in that 500 square foot apartment forever. We would have bought a vacation home and still live in that apartment, if we could have kept traveling. Because you don't realize how small it is when you're not there. So like, but we, we're here in this beautiful, like, the house of my dreams, because even when things happen outside your control, like, everything is working out for you if you believe it, if you're not believing that, like you, you don't see the opportunities and you don't see the connections and the introductions as as a light of like, oh, look over here. You're seeing it as, like, another thing that is, like, keeping you, or just another busy thing you don't you, you know. Like, I really do think that, like, when you believe that things will work out you are actually, you'll actually see the opportunities as evidence of that.

Sarah Rhoads 25:56  

Absolutely, and I feel like that's exactly what you're pointing to. It's like, I feel like in our busy culture of like, everything's about efficiency and like, oh, our task list, I never want to turn people into tasks like, ever. And so for me, it's like, if we can keep the spirit of like, this is all about, like, life is about how we can grow from each other and how we can learn from each other. Like, I just try to keep that spirit about every interaction, knowing I can learn something from everybody and and, yeah, I I love what you're saying. Like, not turning things, all these things into to do lists, turning them into opportunities in your mind. You know, I think it's really powerful, so it's helped me, but, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 26:42  

Thank you for sharing that. I, okay. You're a mom, you're a wife, you're a business owner, you're you. You are so many things. How do you prioritize you in all of this? Because it can be so easy. Like, like, we love our people. We don't want to be to-do lists like, almost like, like, I work with a lot of Pilates instructors, and they, like, love their clients so much that they don't take care of the things that continue to make them light up anymore, and it bends on the burnout road, right? So, like, how do you make sure that you're still you in all of this?

Sarah Rhoads 27:13  

Yeah, that's a really good question. Like, burnout is a very real, you know, thing, as you know, we're always like, right, flying real close to the sun there on burnout. If I'm being honest, when you're building a business, building a company, it's especially through, like, the holiday season, like Chris and I were like, okay, we gotta, like, we gotta step back a little bit from this. It's all like, just it, you know. And I feel like, for me, how do I stay me my, I protect my autonomy pretty fiercely. Like, I just feel like, it's just who I am. I love to read. So I like, am in this amazing book club that I like, make time for. Like, it's something totally extracurricular. But these women inspire me. They're incredible. I love hearing other people's perspectives. I am all about nature and hiking, like, I go out and I be in nature, like three days a week. Like, those are the things that for me, keep me from burnout. Is like doing a few things every week that I love, you know, that are outside of like, what makes me money? You know? What can I be doing to better my business? It's being in touch with the things that make Sarah, me, feel alive, and then knowing like, that'll make me a better mom, a better founder, a better creative, all those things that I need to be, you know. So, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 27:13  

Thank you for sharing that. I think I love that you're in a book club that you make time for. Like, I think it's so like, I we have a lot of people like, how do you make friends as an adult? I'm like, you have to just go do things and hope and, like, if you don't like it, go do something else. Like, it's okay and, you know, it is hard, like, it's hard to there's always a reason. I mean, you like, I just wanted you to all replay that. Remember, she is a founder of a new company. She works with her husband, and she has three kids under 10, and she has, she has things she does for herself every week. Like, I love that so much. I really, I really, really do. Okay. What are you most excited about right now?

Sarah Rhoads 29:08  

I am so excited about my new line that is coming out in three weeks. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna give you like, a little sneak peek. 

Lesley Logan 29:15  

Stop right now. I need them already. Stop right now. I need them already.

Sarah Rhoads 29:18  

So, like, I, again, part of like, listening to customers and like is, it's part of us handling customer service is like, I want to know, like, what do people want to see more?

Lesley Logan 29:28  

Bright colors. I want hot pink. I want that red. 

Sarah Rhoads 29:31  

Yeah, but I'm listening so people wanted real Nappa leathers. My first was vegan. Now I've got, I'll still offer vegan option for those ladies who want that or men who want that. But I also have some amazing, like, supple, like, it's like, lamb skin leathers that are just so chic and look so good.

Lesley Logan 29:55  

You guys, if you're not already watching the Be It Pod on YouTube, you need to now and also by the time this is out, they're out. So go get them.

Sarah Rhoads 30:01  

And then I have some just cool styles that are all adjustable. So I have, like, back straps and like some things that, like people wanted for walking around Europe, things like that, like, there's back straps adjustable sort of plays. I'm just so excited about this line. I also improved the product immensely. I took, got on a plane to Asia when I started to hear a couple things, like, I had enough time with my own product to be like, I want to take the weight out of the shoes a little bit. And so I worked with my engineering team. People told me, you can't do it, you can't do it. Blah, blah, blah, for these reasons. I sat there and I, like, didn't book a return flight until this was solved. And basically, we came up with a unique compound for our shoes that allows the interchangeability to all work. And it just just like super I'm just super excited about this line. I feel really proud of it. It's designed with really nice textiles, and I have a really good supplier I'm really excited about. So anyway, all of it, the designs are pretty fire, and I'm excited, but that's what I'm excited about. 

Lesley Logan 31:04  

I am so I like, she held up a red. I was like, because I just, I love an accent. I love.

Sarah Rhoads 31:09  

(inaudible) I'm about to pre-release these, because I've had so many people asking.

Lesley Logan 31:14  

Okay, well, I'm gonna get that link before. Brad is going, Brad is rolling his eyes while he's listening to this. I'm sure. When he listens later, he's asleep right now, but he'll, he'll listen to this on a replay moving for prep. And I know, I know the exact points where he's just going, oh my God, my wife. (inaudible) We will do it yes, and then we'll do the couple photo for you. We'll do whatever you want. 

Sarah Rhoads 31:42  

Oh my God. I love it. We'll make it happen. 

Lesley Logan 31:42  

And then when we come to L.A., we're gonna have to come see you because, like, of course, we'll have to have dinner, because it's, it's not all the time that you meet couples who work together and and are cool and they work together well, there's.

Sarah Rhoads 31:55  

Lesley, I have so many questions for you about that. So, yes, a dinner is in our future. 

Lesley Logan 32:00  

Yes, oh, I mean, we've been working together. So he, he flirted with me by building me a website. You guys, we were dating, and he was, like, your new website. And I, like, you know, as a Pilates instructor, and I thought I was one of the first Pilates instructors, like, who have their own website. Like I got out of Pilates training, and I had a website ready to go. And, like, no people have been teaching 10 years to have website. So I thought I was a slain and then I met him. I'd been teaching for like, seven years. He's like, so you have to have an like, this is old. You need a new website. And I'm like, why it's working just fine. So he built me a new one. And then, and then, as I was building my companies, which, you know, bad thing, guys don't build the same three things at the same time, because if they work out, you have three, and it's a lot. So anyways, he started, like, working with me, doing things behind the scenes. And finally, I was just like, can you just like, can you just work with me all the time? And so he's been full time since 2019 which has been really, really cool and really fun, and also allowed me to, like, not be the CEO of my company, because I'm not as I don't know about you, I don't I'm not a CEO. 

Sarah Rhoads 33:01  

I'm a co-CEO. But Chris does ops, tech, all of things that like, are the behind the scenes. I'm community building, creative, getting, (inaudible) you're dynamic. We can like, have a whole podcast about working as a team with your significant.

Lesley Logan 33:18  

I know, we'll have to have you back, and we'll have to, like, do a co well, the four of us can talk. 

Sarah Rhoads 33:22  

With all of us? 

Lesley Logan 33:23  

Yes, because it's like, you have to, well, it's also just recognizing your strengths. Like, this is what I'm really good at. I'm really good at the community. I'm really good at the vision. I'm really good at like, seeing the big picture and like, how, like, it's gonna relate down the thing. And a meeting on how this system is gonna work is like, I wanna know, but I don't want to be in the. 

Sarah Rhoads 33:42  

100% girl, we're the same. This is (inaudible) people. I'm like, thank God for them, because truly, it's not my wheelhouse, you know. 

Lesley Logan 33:54  

Yeah. Oh, we, so we make Pilates flashcards. And on our winter tour, we went, we were like, near the place at the warehouse that prints our flashcards and and fulfills everything it's (inaudible) house. And So Brad, like, we're gonna go see how this is made. And I was like, I don't, I don't really, actually, I'm not lit up by this. Like, you know, like, I, he's. 

Sarah Rhoads 33:54  

Find your strength (inaudible). 

Lesley Logan 34:15  

Yeah. Oh, and he is like, looking at everything. He's like, look at this. And it goes in here first, and they go this first. And I was just like, this is, oh, I don't know how someone envisioned this actually, like the guy who envisioned the systems that print flashcards and boxes the whole thing. I was like, that person's amazing.

Sarah Rhoads 34:35  

Thank God for that guy. 

Lesley Logan 34:36  

Yeah, yeah. Thank goodness, because I don't have to be the person who does it. Anyways. Okay, I could talk to you forever, but we're gonna take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you and get your amazing shoes. 

Lesley Logan 34:47  

All right, Sarah, where do you hang out? What socials are we sharing? Where can they pre-order these amazing shoes, or just order them because they'll be out by now?

Sarah Rhoads 34:55  

Oh, I love it. Okay, so Commbi C-O-M-M-B-I dot co and then you can get on our mailing list. That'll be how you find out new, hot pre-releases coming at you. And then our Instagram handle is @Commbi_official. So yeah, that's that's us.

Lesley Logan 35:15  

Wonderful. You've given so many great tips, but I can't get enough of you. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps our listeners can take to be it till they see it, what do you have for us? 

Sarah Rhoads 35:25  

I think, knowing deep in your soul that everything's working out for you, and knowing that anyone can do anything, and trusting yourself and believing in yourself, that's that's the biggest thing that I would say.

Lesley Logan 35:40  

I love those. I think you've said a few things that'll be on Post-Its in my office for a little bit, and I'll just think of you. Oh my gosh, Sarah, thank you for being you. Thank you for creating Commbi shoes, like and also for being I think people listening, we all need like inspirations, like people we can look at and go, okay, she did it and so I can, like, you know, we just need these reminders. So thank you for doing that. And it's really cool that your kids get to see you and your husband create something amazing as well together. So just a hats off to you, and I'll be, I'll be ordering more shoes. So just know I'm stalking you.

Sarah Rhoads 36:19  

I gotta hook you up and your listeners up with a little discount code so we can talk about that. 

Lesley Logan 36:24  

Yeah, we'll do that, you guys. It'll be, we'll make sure we send it out with this episode. Thank you. Thank you for being you. 

Lesley Logan 36:24  

All right, loves. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag Commbi official. Tag the Be It Pod, share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 36:39  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 37:22  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 37:27  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 37:31  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 37:38  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 37:41  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan shares 19 thought-provoking quotes by Carl Jung to remind us of our power to change, lead, and grow. She also highlights a major business win from Agency member Stacey Extence and opens up about her own journey in receiving support through hiring a personal trainer. This episode is a celebration of growth, self-awareness, and asking for help when it counts.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• 19 insightful quotes from Carl Jung to shift your mindset.
• How stepping away helped Stacey Extence create her best revenue month.
• Teaching strategies for supporting clients with visual impairments.
• The value of outsourcing even when you're capable of doing it yourself.
• Why repeating an investment in yourself still counts as a win.

Episode References/Links:

• 19 Powerful Sentences by Carl Jung - https://www.instagram.com/p/DJneo8RRVPg/
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/
• Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ
• Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/
• The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates
• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/
• The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah.

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:47  

Hi Be It babe, welcome to your Fuck Yeah Friday, this short, sweet and hopefully very inspiring episode where I share something that inspired me, that hopefully is useful for you, a win of yours and a win of mine, and it reminds us that we're not perfect bands, thank God, and that we are doing the best we can to make life a better place for ourselves and those around us, right? So the thing that came across my feed that I was like, oh, I gotta share this with the Be It Pod babes says 19 Powerful Sentences by Carl Jung That Will Change How You View the World. Okay, I'm gonna take the time to read all 19, and so we'll put the link in the show notes, so that if there's one that like stands out to you, you can go back and you can screenshot it and save it for yourself. Number one, I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. I mean, if that's not be it till you see it, right, I don't know what is. Number two, everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Ooh, love that. Number three, if the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's. Number four, you are what you do, not what you say you'll do. Well, that's another be it till you see it one. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate. Where your fear is, there your task is. Talk about this and the opening credit, opening music of the pod, right? Like do, got to do things that's scary because that's where clarity comes from. Yeah, it's antidote to fear. Action is. Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. So, your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell. The world will ask who you are, and if you don't know, the world will tell you. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it. Isn't that the truth that's so adulting, it's so hard. Okay, one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely. Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling. No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you. So true. Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge. That's amazing. Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul, be just another human soul. Solitude is for me a fount of healing, which makes my life worth living. Talking is often torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words. The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. That's a be it till you see it. Oh, I'm so glad we ended with that one. Brilliant, wonderful, beautiful. I'm gonna save that one just because, like, keep it for myself. Oh my gosh. So, so good. So I would love to know which one of those are your favorite. Which ones you're gonna put on a Post-It. Like our other guests have said about things, to remind yourself, because that's what we need, right? 

Lesley Logan 4:27  

All right, now let's do a win of yours. This is from Stacey Extence. She's an Agency member. We've had her for a long, long time, and I'm really proud she's had a couple wins that she shared with you as before. So I'm grateful that she's letting us share another one. She said okay, this month has been crazy insane in the best possible way. Apparently, all I needed to do was go out of town and stop stressing for things to start rolling. Pause. I gotta tell you this. Listen to that again. I just needed to go out of town and stop stressing. You guys cannot micromanage your stress and the constraint and control you're trying to have around the dreams you have are what's keeping it from happening. So do the work. Do not just like manifest that shit, like, do the actual work, but also kind of let go of the control of how it plays out. Okay. Coming back to Stacy's win. Best month ever in revenue. It was a nice blend of packages and group classes. I could actually pay my bills with the money made this month. This is the first time all year that has happened. Six new clients dropped in my calendar, and most have been repeat clients. I taught my first blind client. I was mindful to use my hands to make noise on the equipment, brushing over the spring so she could hear where they were, shaking the handles and straps, etcetera. I also guided her hand while describing the Reformer. After my initial follow up text, she said that she was absolutely loved it and couldn't stop talking about it all last weekend, she's coming in every weekend in June for more lessons. Two random folks who've never done Pilates saw my fundraising event on Facebook and are coming to the Mat Raiser next weekend. I'm hoping to flip one or both into regular clients. Have an opportunity to team up and do an event with a local female social group who has events in the Milwaukee area, looking at August timeframe, and the apartment conflicts I reached out to would like to partner with me, so I got to make the flyer for their newsletters to homeowners, as well as a digital piece for the TVs and the lobbies. Humongous, like, so many wins in just the time that you like, sat down, got quiet and went on a vacation, Stacey. First of all, we have to acknowledge you did the work, all right? You did the effort in to make the Mat Raiser, that's a fundraiser guys, happen that you told people about it. Also, you didn't get scared and go, oh, I'm not capable of teaching someone who's blind. You're like, no, I can teach a body. I just have to learn how to tell them what we're doing, because it's going to challenge me. Like, I just think that a lot of us often don't raise our hands to say, yeah, I'll do that. And others want to do things, but then we don't do the things around it to make sure people know, like we talked about this in past episodes, some people won't share what they're working on until it's perfectly done. No, tell people you're working on your website. Tell people what you want to be until you see, tell people what you're doing. Why? Because they will help you. Before I was a certified Pilates instructor, I was telling everyone I was becoming a certified Pilates instructor. Guess what? I want to take Pilates with you. And so then I had practice bodies to teach. So at the studio that I was becoming a teacher, right? So I was able to actually teach even more bodies as a brand new teacher than if I had not told anyone all, so I was an even better teacher when I graduated. So you got to share with people what's going on, what you're working on, so that they can cheer you on. At the very least, right? At the very least. 

Lesley Logan 4:27  

Okay, my win. So I hired myself a trainer. We're going in month three with this person, and so when is I hired a trainer? I think I've talked about this in the podcast before. I'm still celebrating it, because I have to pay every single month to keep it going. And I wanted to share with you that, like, a win can be just repeating an investment you made on yourself, right? Two, it has been really, really nice to let someone pour into me. So the second win is that I am receiving, receiving someone's expertise in my life around something that I'm knowledgeable but not an expert in, and it's just so nice. So I just want to say like you might be a great cook or a great housekeeper of your own house, or even a great person with your own dogs. And guess what, you might need help, right? And so investing in people who actually want to make the thing that you can do well, but they can do great as their business, investing in them is a way of practicing receiving and indulging in yourself and prioritizing yourself. And so here we are going into the fourth month of working together. She's able to like, handle like, okay, this month, I'm not in town, I'm not in my gym, so here's what I have access to, and she's able to give me workouts. And so I don't have to be creative, I could just focus on the things that I'm really good at. And so I just love this win so much. Because my hope is it inspires you. If there's something that you need to do, just because you can doesn't mean you should. I have a client that I've been working with, and she is on a weight loss journey, and so she's got a trainer, she's got me, and we were talking about some things, and she's like, yeah, I just need to get better at my meal planning, and I said to her I know you actually have been on this journey for a long time, and you've done tons of research, and I know you know all the things, but have you thought about getting help with this just for a month? So not a full-time investment, not a forever investment, just like a two weeks or a 30-day investment, and to see how it makes you feel. Does even having it for just your lunches help you only have to plan your dinners, because it can be overwhelming to meal plan all of your meals to help give you the nutrition and fuel that you need for the workouts that you're doing and for the life you want to have. That can be overwhelming, but if you have some help in it, it allows you to go I just only have to focus on the dinners, right? Like we have to make things a little easier for ourselves, the things we want to do and outsourcing it for a short period of time is a win. It's not a failure. It's not like, oh, I couldn't do it. It's like, no, I'm seeking out help. You know, I used to get meals delivered when I worked in a studio, because I wouldn't, I just didn't have the time every single day to prep my breakfast and my lunch. It was just so, so hard. So I had someone send it to the studio, breakfast and lunch, Monday through Friday. So I get to the studio and there would be my breakfast and lunch, and I just had to worry about dinner. And it was so nice because I would just, I'd only to go grocery shopping for dinner and not only that, and it was wonderful to help make sure I was fueled for the day. You know, meal plan doesn't have to actually have anything to do with weight loss, and it can actually just have everything to do with like, giving yourself nutrition. So anyways, my win is receiving the expert support and continuing to do it and hopefully inspiring you to just evaluate in your life, where it could just be a little bit helpful to have someone support you somewhere. Maybe OPC is the thing that supports your movement practice, or if you're a Pilates instructor, maybe agency becomes a support in your life, right? Yes, these things are investments. Yes, they cost money. And I'm going to tell you right now, when I had the meal delivery service, it wasn't like I was rolling in it. It was an expense, but it literally meant that I wasn't wasting food and that I wasn't so frustrated. So actually, my business was better because I had more energy to be in it. I'm just saying, sometimes we have to spend money to make money, right? Sometimes we need to invest in ourselves. We can go the next level to be it till I see it. All right you guys, thank you so much. I hope you are loving these episodes. Please share them with a friend, or share our interviews with a friend. That's how we get this podcast to go. Leave a review if you haven't already. That would mean the world to me, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 7:27  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 7:27  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 7:56  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 8:05  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 8:16  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 8:21  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this powerful recap, Lesley and Brad reflect on Joy Hoover’s inspiring interview about redefining women’s safety through community and innovation. They highlight how Joy is working to change harmful narratives around victim shaming and help people recognize red flags before it’s too late. From revolutionary tools for drink spiking prevention to bold leadership in gender-based violence advocacy, this episode is a call to rethink how we can band and protect one another.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How Joy Hoover is using innovation to revolutionize women’s safety.
• Why collective action is more powerful than doing it alone.
• The real cost of gender-based violence and what we can do about it.
• The importance of storytelling and community in social impact work.
• Why listening to survivors is key to building safer communities.

Episode References/Links:

• OPC Summer Tour - https://opc.me/tour
• UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/uk
• P.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://www.pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagoland
• Cambodia October 2025 Retreat Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com
• Free Mat Pilates for Strength Training - https://www.fullbodyin15.com
• Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions
• Episode 439: Tia Levings - https://beitpod.com/tialevings
• Episode 352: Tess Waresmith - https://beitpod.com/tesswaresmith
• Bad Dates Podcast - https://beitpod.com/baddates
• Esōes Cosmetics Website - https://www.esoescosmetics.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/

Resources:

Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g

Lesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/

Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/

Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/

Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQ

Profitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/

Follow Us on Social Media:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/

The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilates

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/

The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Women aren't being believed as much or or the blame is on them for putting themselves in the situations. And I think like if we can all think about it differently, we can actually start to spot things and support people instead of going well, how did that happen to them? 

Lesley Logan 0:16  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:55  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the groundbreaking convo I had with Joy Hoover in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go listen to that one, or listen to this one and then listen to that one. You can do whatever order you want, but it's one you have to listen to. 

Brad Crowell 0:58  

Whatever you want. 

Lesley Logan 1:00  

I mean, I say it on all episodes, you got to go listen to it because, you know, we can only cover so much of what the guest said, but it's also like quite a unique, amazing thing. So Today is August 14th 2025 and it's got two things for you. I'm sure Brad want me to choose. I'm not going to do it. National, it's National Financial Awareness Day. So how much would you like to bet that most people don't know August 14th is National Financial Awareness Day?

Brad Crowell 1:43  

Well, it's about betting. They were being cute. I think it's cute. 

Lesley Logan 1:46  

They still managed to say the date and the name. 

Brad Crowell 1:49  

100% of the time they answer the question, they re-ask the question when answering the question always.

Lesley Logan 1:54  

It's more important than you think. And plus, what's more fun than financial independence?

Brad Crowell 1:58  

What is more fun? Yay. Skippy.

Lesley Logan 2:01  

Hey, you know what? Financial independence is literally the thing that, if you have you can do anything you want. You can leave any job, shitty relationship, shitty situation. Financial independence is like the thing. It's more, I think it's more important than just like, the ability to walk, you need to have financial independence.

Brad Crowell 2:19  

It's funny because it sounds silly, but at the same time, it's not something that anyone ever talks about. Like, no one, like, you're not taught this stuff at school. Right?

Lesley Logan 2:32  

Yeah, no, you're, no. I think I was taught to balance a checkbook, as if that did anything for me. But I like, I think about Tia Leving's episode. 

Brad Crowell 2:39  

I have to say I was thinking about that.

Lesley Logan 2:41  

And I think about.

Brad Crowell 2:42  

If y'all don't remember, she was stuck in an abusive relationship where she had no control over the finances, and she couldn't leave, even though it was abusive, because if she did, she. 

Lesley Logan 2:52  

Would lose her kids. 

Brad Crowell 2:54  

She would lose her kids because she didn't have any money to support her kids. 

Lesley Logan 2:56  

Yeah, this is where, like, a lot of people were like, oh, why don't they just leave? It goes back to, like, the Diddy stuff, oh they could have just left. No. When they're controlling your career, when they're controlling how where you live, and they're paying your rent and all these things, even if you think, oh, well, they did this. It was, there's, there's control, there's not financial independence, and if we have to teach that, even if the person's not abusive, because there's plenty of people who are partners, who are parents, who are bosses, who are non-abusive. 

Brad Crowell 3:03  

Sure. 

Lesley Logan 3:05  

But everybody deserves to have financial independence and financial awareness information so that they can make sure they're making the right decisions for themselves. And then they have options. You always have choices. Okay, back to why they want to educate us. So, first off, think about that great feeling you get when you don't have the looming spin specter of debt hanging over you. Also sound financial decisions can really make a difference down the road. Remember, retirement is a time to take all those vacations you couldn't when working the daily grind. I have so many problems with this day already, because you shouldn't wait for a retirement to take those vacations and don't let people tell you, debt is a big (inaudible).

Brad Crowell 4:01  

I was going to say the same thing, like, sure, debt can be looming, especially if it's like credit card debt that's keeping you bound. 

Lesley Logan 4:08  

Yes, because they control you. 

Brad Crowell 4:09  

Well, it's not just that. It's like, it's it's a it's oppressive to to moving forward because you're just paying the interest. But at the same time, like, I think my relationship with that changed when I became a business owner, because, you, you it's part of businesses also, you know, you can also have debt, and you can manage that debt without it destroying everything, so.

Lesley Logan 4:30  

And also, a good credit score is because you can show that you can manage debt. That's what it is. It's not being debt-free. It's managing debt. Which is which, yeah, okay, so there was good intentions with this day, anyways. Because money is important to our overall peace of mind, Financial Awareness Day is a great time to review where you are now and where you're going financially. Don't let bad financial decisions ruin the best years of your life.

Brad Crowell 4:54  

Okay, so we're just gonna stop reading this. But I think the points are still good. You know? I think, I think one thing that most, I'll tell you what I didn't do. I never reviewed my financial position. I didn't even know what that meant, right? I just knew that I needed to make enough money to get to the end of the month so that I could do it again, right? I never, like, stepped back and like was, was trying to look at like, oh, I have a car, the value of the car. Oh, I have a house, the value of the house, or, you know, whatever, like my, I have a savings account, or I have been putting money in my savings account. Do I have a plan? Never had a plan before, you know, the last couple of years and and now you can it's easy to get sidetracked from your plan. It's very easy to get sidetracked from your plan, unless you put things on an automated like your your money comes in, and then automatically, things happen at the end of the month. It's easy to forget to slide, you know, money over into your retirement fund, or whatever it might be, and you know, so what what you can do, which I think is really helpful, is to throw once a month review, you know, our just take a look at all the numbers. Take a look at it. Like, open up the credit card statement online, open up the bank account online, take a look at that. Like, log into your Social Security account. How weird is that to even say, does anybody do that? I do that. Okay. 

Lesley Logan 6:12  

Yeah, I do it. I just don't I don't know, at this moment in time we're recording, I doubt we're gonna see any of it, but you should, I agree with you. Like, it's important to be aware of where all your accounts are, what's in all of them. Don't put your, don't be an ostrich. And also, like, please don't let the money stories of your parents or like, even your college years dictate like, what you think of yourself when it comes to money, because that attitude is not going to help you be it till you see it with financial success. Listen to our episode with wealth with Tess. That is the episode I want you to listen to if this day resonates with you. Okay, Love Your Bookshop Day. Of course, we talk about this because

Brad Crowell 6:50  

Tess's episode was 352. 

Lesley Logan 6:52  

Wow. 

Brad Crowell 6:53  

352

Lesley Logan 6:54  

So, Love Your Bookshop Day is celebrated every year, also on August 14th. It is a holiday that was founded by the Australian Booksellers Association. The aim is to appreciate bookshops around the country and highlight all the things that make local bookshops beneficial with an appreciation for books and encourages more people to read. Bookshops exist to serve the knowledge to the public, and that is a very important job. The more equipped bookshops are, the better quality of knowledge people can access to in a time when books are being ordered online, the local brick and mortar bookshop needs all the support it can get. You guys, they don't sponsor the show, but bookshop.org think that it's called, if you order your books through them, they send the money to support a local bookshop near you, and that if you want to have that online ease, but also support a local bookshop. I also like it's called a bookshop. So it's a bookstore. Anyways, go read a book. Go read, go read a book that's gonna, like, inspire you. Maybe I'll add a book (inaudible). 

Brad Crowell 7:47  

Go sit in a bookshop, coffee shop. 

Lesley Logan 7:52  

Oh my gosh. Have you been to the Writer's Block, babe? 

Brad Crowell 7:55  

No, in Vegas? 

Lesley Logan 7:56  

Yeah. 

Brad Crowell 7:56  

Have not.

Lesley Logan 7:57  

Oh, they got a smoothie bar, coffee, a cat walk around. Don't take Bayon. Cats walking around the coffee shop. Maybe they have birds. I think it's a bird sanctuary, not cat sanctuary. Anyways, it is the coolest bookshop. And now listen to me, I'm gonna call it a bookshop my Australian accent, it's the coolest bookstore I've been to in a long time. But there's some other ones, and I actually want to start looking at some really cool bookstores when we start doing tours. 

Brad Crowell 8:19  

It's a bird sanctuary. 

Lesley Logan 8:19  

Yeah, bird sanctuary. You know how we like, we do vintage shops a lot. I think I want to switch that to, like, really cool bookstores, because there's some really cool bookstores out there. Okay, speaking of being on the road, we are on the road for a few more days, and so you can go to OPC.me/tour because I think you can get, if there's anything left, you can get to Idaho, Salt Lake or Las Vegas OPC.me/tour. Our winter tour will be announced in the fall, so stick around for that. Then we're home for a couple of weeks, and then, babe, we're headed to, where are we headed, in September, we're headed to the U.K. 

Brad Crowell 8:52  

Yes, we're gonna, we're really fired up to be back to the U.K. and we actually have two stops we're doing this time. We're gonna be in Leeds and in Essex. So come join us. If you are in London. We actually set it up where you could be on a day pass with us.

Lesley Logan 9:03  

I think there's even all our workshops. So if you are someone who just wants to do one workshop now.

Brad Crowell 9:07  

Yeah, it might be. Go, go check it out. Go to opc.me/uk. We're going to be covering, it's mostly Pilates stuff. And then there's a couple of workshops. The workshops are skewed toward business, but they're not really business. It's like managing your calendar, that's managing, you know, how do you, how do you make an ideal schedule for yourself? And that, of course, can be used for business, but it's also you don't have to run a business to, you know, pull some benefits from that, and then, yeah, anyway, we can't wait to be back. It's gonna be awesome. In October, we're heading to Chicago. 

Lesley Logan 9:36  

Yeah, there's Balanced Bodies, P.O.T. Chicago. And at the time of this record as this dropping, you can still get the early bird 10% off if there's any spots left. I do know that.

Brad Crowell 9:46  

Do you have a link for that? 

Lesley Logan 9:47  

balancedbodypilates.com just like a P.O.T. Chicago and it comes up, like it kind of just comes up. But anyways, yeah, of course, it's a long link. However, when they emailed me last week, it was 75% sold out. So just so you know, don't wait on that. Then we're gonna go from Chicago to Cambodia.

Brad Crowell 10:07  

Directly, literally. Don't even go home. We just go straight through San Francisco to Cambodia. That's gonna be amazing. And basically, you know, we got, we still got room, and there's still time. It's only August. We're not going till October, right, so.

Lesley Logan 10:20  

Oh I know, people signed up for last one in December, we went. 

Brad Crowell 10:24  

Six weeks ahead of time. Yeah. We had someone sign up six weeks ahead of time so. 

Lesley Logan 10:29  

We had someone signed up two weeks ahead of time. 

Brad Crowell 10:29  

Oh, it was only two. 

Lesley Logan 10:29  

The last October, my mom's. 

Brad Crowell 10:31  

Yeah, yeah, it was only two. Okay, yeah. So anyway, yeah, so it's possible there's still plenty of room come join us. It's gonna be amazing. And then, like, randomly, on the way home from Cambodia we're gonna be in Singapore.

Lesley Logan 10:43  

Yeah. So we're gonna see the Botanical Gardens, and we're working on teaching a gig. So you know, Singapore, Hi, we're coming. 

Brad Crowell 10:49  

Yeah, we're coming. 

Lesley Logan 10:50  

And then, of course, December is winter tour. We should be announcing all of that in the fall, so come October. But if you want to host with us, reach out. The team will help you fill out the forms. And if we're on the path this year, yay. And if we're not, we'll save you for another time. But don't, don't wait.

Brad Crowell 11:06  

Yeah that's going to be awesome. Before we get into this really interesting convo with Joy Hoover, also, like, scary-a-little-bit convo with Joy Hoover. From the statistics were like, mind blowing. I was like, What the hell. But before we get there, we got a question from Corinne_ca11 (aka Cori) from IG. She asks, hey, how many days a week do you recommend weight lifting in addition to your Pilates practice?

Lesley Logan 11:34  

Yeah, so here's okay. 

Brad Crowell 11:35  

Great question. 

Lesley Logan 11:36  

Great question. Personally, I lift weights three to four days a week and I do Pilates four to five days a week. Now, is that a scientific thing that you should be doing? I don't know. It's really works for my schedule. I particularly like an extra day of Pilates compared to my weight training, because I do feel like it keeps everything ready for the next one. Like weight training always makes my body feel a little bit heavy. I mean, of course, I feel great in it, and there's no knocks. Like, I believe every woman does need to lift some weights, but my body feels heavy. And so Pilates kind of like opens everything back up and readies it for the next time. And that's why I like it. But I will say, depending on what your goals are, you definitely, from what I've heard or what I've read, everyone should be lifting weights, two, three days a week, and then I believe Pilates should be done three to four days a week. And that doesn't mean hour long sessions, doesn't have to be, the amount of minutes is not as important as the consistency and the quality of the movement. So three quality reps over 10 is always better than it comes to Pilates, and that's just my opinion, but I particularly really like it, and I will we're actually we taught in Santa Barbara a workshop on mat Pilates for strength training, people who strength train. And I actually taught everyone there how to do a 20, 15-minute workout with 20 Pilates mat exercises that will benefit anyone who lifts weights. And you can literally do it after you lift all your weights at the gym, or you could do it before, or you could do it on your off days, or you could do it under your zone two as a way to, kind of like, stretch and move everything around. It's 15 minutes full body workout. It will absolutely improve your form and the results you're getting with your strength training. You can actually take a version of that workshop at fullbodyin15.com. 

Brad Crowell 13:17  

Yeah, fullbodyin15.com love that, by the way, that's free. 

Lesley Logan 13:21  

It's free. 

Brad Crowell 13:22  

And it'll help you learn the five major spine shapes in Pilates and create that 15-minute workout. So definitely dig in there. Great question, Cori, thanks for that. If you have a question, text us at 310-905-5534 or because who can remember those phone numbers? Go to beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into this convo with Joy Hoover. 

Brad Crowell 13:49  

Okay, now let's talk about Joy Hoover, who's our neighbor, by the way, temporarily, which is kind of cool. After experiencing a devastating family tragedy in 2013, Joy Hoover dedicated herself for 15 years in Vegas to improving women's safety, anti-trafficking and fighting gender-based violence. She founded the nonprofit Cupcake Girls, which y'all probably know because we support them with Profitable Pilates. And she later launched Esōes Cosmetics, pronounced SOS. It's spelled E-S-O-E-S the world's first patented smart lipstick featuring built-in drink testing strips and a panic button that is linked to a safety app. Her work has supported over 10,000 survivors and earned multiple awards and national media recognition. And it's quite, it's quite, quite clever. 

Lesley Logan 14:40  

You know what's funny is we just recapped David Corbin, and you met Joy at the same exact event. 

Brad Crowell 14:46  

David. 

Lesley Logan 14:48  

Is that the same we just interviewed? 

Brad Crowell 14:50  

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 14:51  

You met them both at the same event.

Brad Crowell 14:52  

So yes, David, I did. I actually had lunch with Joy, or I sat at a table withJoy. Yeah, it was lunch. And then David was the after the event was over. You're right. What a great event that was.

Lesley Logan 15:03  

Yeah. And it's funny, because I didn't interview them near each other, but they're coming out next to each other, so that's hilarious. So we talked. I mean, first, I just want to say that, like, if you haven't yet listened to this episode and you there is, like, violent talk in there. There are some topics that could be triggering or activating in some people. So do take caution when you listen to it, but I do think it's really important to listen to because, I wanna highlight a couple parts of her story that have nothing to do. Well, they have a lot to do with all the things, but like, you can see yourself in those stories. So when she and her husband had their first kid, his dad killed his mom, and they just had a baby. And so can you imagine being new parents and then, like, dealing with, like, the, not just the loss of parent, but like.

Brad Crowell 15:49  

I think she said that their daughter was, like, eight days old and they had to fly across the country to handle that. 

Lesley Logan 15:51  

I mean, of course, so tragic, but for them to figure out, for them to not let that define them, but instead allow them to create a, carve a path that could help them, use their story to support other people with different stories in them is really, really cool. And I think a lot of times we have these tragic things happen in our lives, and they become the story we tell ourselves that's held us back. Oh, I've lost seven people in my life. Oh, this happened, and I don't want to discount those things. Those are especially like, when you have abuse like that, ends in that way it is. It's devastating. But, I do think that, like. 

Brad Crowell 16:27  

She said it was happening for like, 40 years. 

Lesley Logan 16:30  

Yeah, and that's like, that's really hard to grow up around, to experience, to like, to have relationships and other things. And so I just want to say, like, I think that their their story and other people's stories that are similar, where they persevered through that. It kind of it, it changed who they are as parents and also how they raise their children, but also how they see other people. Because I think it's so easy to judge, like, why didn't she leave? Or why, like, we talked about this earlier with the financial stuff, like, Why didn't this? And it's like some of this stuff has been going on for so long, you know, you don't think it will ever turn to something that bad, right? So, and then the other thing that I want to highlight that happened to them as they started SOS, really cool company. Invest their life savings to, like, make this product, it's going to help.

Brad Crowell 17:15  

Raise money, like, had friends and family help support.

Lesley Logan 17:17  

It's gonna help people who, who need, access to support wherever they are, and obviously women, this is what the product is for. But we all need this. It can be helpful for anybody, but they had a fire like a freak electrical situation in their roof. First of all, the product helped get the fire department there. You have to listen to the story. It's insane. 

Brad Crowell 17:38  

Faster than calling 911. 

Lesley Logan 17:39  

Yes, faster than calling 911, this product, they were able to press the panic button and get the fire department there, which the fire department said, if they had, any, any minute later, they would have lost the whole house. So they got to keep the framework. Anyways, there's a lot going on there, but they lost all the product. Yeah, however, because they had to start from scratch, and they already had customers, and they'd already been going through it. They use it as an opportunity to make it even better. And I share this because, like, so many times, like.

Brad Crowell 18:09  

I mean, how do how deflating would that be that not only do you lose your house, but all your business at the exact same time. 

Lesley Logan 18:16  

I mean, I don't even know how you just go get a job at Costco. Like, I don't even know how you go let me do this again. 

Brad Crowell 18:20  

Let me start over. 

Lesley Logan 18:21  

I, like, buy.

Brad Crowell 18:22  

After everything burned down. 

Lesley Logan 18:23  

While I'm not living in my own home. Like, let me just start this over while like, all, that's what, I'm not gonna lie, like, I think I seriously would have got a job at Costco because I could get my steps in. You know, I hear good things. The hot dogs are $1.50 like, you know, like, I would have just, like, packed it in, but instead, they use it as an opportunity to make the product even better. Aand I think, as a business owner or someone who's working on a new project like we think we have to get it right from the first time, the first start, the first the first iteration has to be the best one. And actually, like most people's first ones are not the one that go like, not the one that goes to market. In fact, we have. 

Brad Crowell 19:01  

How many websites have we rebuilt? 

Lesley Logan 19:03  

Don't tell me. Don't tell me. But you know what? Even our mat deck, right? Like we have changed the mat deck, our Mat Flashcard Deck, because we put it out there, we sold 3000 decks, and then we printed a new version of it, because we've all the feedback we got. And then also how we know other people use the other decks? Ken Endelman said that, you know, Joe Pilates, a lot of his sketches and his patents that he sent in, and not really sent in, but he pretended like he did, those are not things he went to market with. He's like, you don't usually go to market with the first one. Like, you use that to get the patent, but that's not what what you go to market with. And so I think, like. 

Brad Crowell 19:38  

I mean, even now, we've just made another change to the flashcard deck boxes, you know, like, like, like it. Because every time we learn something new, we're like, oh, we need to add that on, or we need to do this, or we should adjust this, or whatever. 

Lesley Logan 19:53  

Oh, yeah, we have to made in the USA, on our boxes. 

Brad Crowell 19:55  

How do we how do we miss that? Five years, we never, we were never (inaudible). 

Lesley Logan 19:58  

Clearly, it wasn't like, I remember my dad, like, going, does it say made in the USA? No, you can't have it. So I don't even know how, like, I'd skipped my brain. We were printing it, but apparently it's a thing. Anyways, I just point this out, because even if you don't think the topic applies to you, you think, oh, I'm not going off having first dates, or I'm not, like, I'm not interested in this, every single one of us is going to do a first again? And then get frustrated because it didn't work. And honestly, it's because you're supposed to, you're supposed to go with the second thing or the third iteration. 

Brad Crowell 20:30  

Yeah. I mean, there's also the tech. The tech part of the of it, it is proximity, or like, as well. So if somebody else in a room, if you are on the app and someone else in the room pushes the button, you will get notified as well. So like, you know, might not necessarily be you personally, who might be in that scenario, but it could be that you're in the proximity of someone who needs help. So, just interesting. 

Lesley Logan 20:53  

Yeah, and this is, like, we're, we're like, you know, we can be, we always think we want it. We can be an alert for other people, but it's hard to be an alert when you can't see the signs, like we've talked about, like somebody like choking, you can see actual signs. They are choking. They need help. But when someone feels unsafe on a date or at a meeting or, you know, or walking down the street, you can't tell oftentimes that they feel unsafe. And this is a very discreet way, a very discreet tech that allows them to say, I'm not safe, and other people to be able to be witnesses or support in that, in that, yeah, so I think it's really cool.

Brad Crowell 21:26  

Yeah, definitely, you know, like a lot, like a lot going on there, you know, I think I have something else I wanted to talk about, but just the fact, first off, how the hell is it possible that they build a relationship with the emergency services, where pressing a button on a lipstick container would get the fire department to her house faster than calling nine fucking one one, like, what? How did they? How did they do that? I didn't even know that I didn't even know how that's possible. 

Lesley Logan 21:52  

(inaudible) want to know. But obviously, like that might be like, you know, confidential information is I want people to know, not because, like, you know, like, maybe they're not allowed to say, maybe it's an NDA. But no, we called 911, and got put on hold.

Brad Crowell 22:05  

What? But it also makes you realize that there are, like, clearly, there are systems that can be tapped into, and they were able to figure that out. I didn't even know that that was a thing. Like, I would have imagined.

Lesley Logan 22:19  

It makes me think of what's the Italian Job where Seth Green's character is like, tapping into, like the yeah napster is like tapping into like the red lights up. That's a red light. That's a green light. Like, clearly, there's.

Brad Crowell 22:32  

Sorry, I won't start until you address me as Napster.

Lesley Logan 22:34  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's clearly, like, something. But I also just want to say, like, if you haven't yet listened to the episode, you want to listen to it so you could understand what the product is, and you can also see it on our YouTube channel. It's quite cool, and I think, an excellent gift for every woman in your life, even if they're married, it's you, you, because she talks about using it for like a kid she saw on the street. 

Brad Crowell 22:55  

So yeah, she said, yeah. She and and her husband saw a kid with no shoes in Vegas, which walking down a sidewalk or whatever, and she's like, there's something wrong here clearly, you know, so, but, but, yeah, I mean, it's, anyway, the tech part is fascinating and really, really fancy. And then, of course, they have, it's lipstick, so presumably they will have different colors at some point. 

Lesley Logan 23:19  

Yeah, there's a whole thing. It's, I mean, she's done a great job. 

Brad Crowell 23:22  

And then, but anyway, you know, she was talking about blame culture, oh yeah. And she was talking about how there's a crazy number of people who've experienced drink spiking where, you know, I was looking up a bunch of stats, and, like, like, at very least 10% of women have reported it saying, like, I either have my drink spiked, or I saw someone spike someone else's drink. 

Lesley Logan 23:44  

It's also, I think the number is so high because, like (inaudible). 

Brad Crowell 23:50  

Well, that's, that's only, that's only, like people who have actually reported it, you know. And then there's, there's polling that has happened where you know it's, it's not, that's not necessarily reported to, like, it's a poll. 

Lesley Logan 24:00  

Well, can you imagine if nothing, or you don't know if anything happened to you? Like, I have just in all the podcasts I listen to, like, people have called the cops and the cops are like. 

Brad Crowell 24:10  

Don't do shit. 

Lesley Logan 24:11  

Don't do fucking shit. And don't I'm not, like, I'm not against police, guys. What I am against is this culture of, like, not believing women, and it goes to this blame stuff. Like, what were you wearing? What were you doing? You know, like, if you're.

Brad Crowell 24:23  

Or it's like, did they, did they threaten you? You know, like, I guess maybe I don't know what the actually, this is interesting. If you, if you know, what do you need to say to get them to pay attention? That would be something that'd be worth finding. I don't know the answer to that. I mean, just, there's a there's a.

Brad Crowell 24:43  

Well, because here's like, I, my personal experience was I had somebody threaten me when I was living in L.A. right, and I was afraid, and I didn't know what to do, so I called the police, and it wasn't an emergency. He wasn't like, he wasn't at my door. But I called them, and I said, hey, I I don't know what to do here, but, like, this guy's threatened me, and he's he might be on his way over right now. I don't. know what to do. And they were like, did he threaten to kill you? And I was like, he didn't say, I'm going to kill you. And they were like, we're not going to do anything. And I was like, what? Like, he's, he's making me feel like I'm in trouble.

Lesley Logan 25:11  

Well, I just listened to, it was just, I was listening to, like, a Dateline or something like that. And they brought up the story about this woman, Denise, who was kidnapped from her home, and then, like, taken away for several days, and then, and then told not to tell anyone. And they called her the American Gone Girl, like the real life Gone Girl. They didn't believe her boyfriend. They said he must have done it. He must, must have done it. They didn't believe her. They tried to charge her with a crime. They just said that they, like, wasted the police time. Then come to find out, two other victims called separate police departments to claim the same thing, and those police departments didn't believe them. Why would anyone do that? Like, didn't believe them. So I am with you. Like, we don't we need to know. What do cops need to hear so they actually believe what you're saying. But also, like, I think it just goes.

Brad Crowell 25:53  

Like, it's a common experience among survivors is that they're like, I wasn't believed, right, and, and, like, the the number of people who, in polling have to have have said, hey, yes, I've experienced drink spiking, is like, could be, like, super high. It could be as high as one in two women. Right? And anyway, like when you put it all together, there's clearly a problem. It's fucked up, that there's a problem, but there is a problem, right? And then when women aren't believed, you know, and it doesn't actually just have to be women having their drink spiked. Anybody can have their drink spiked. 

Lesley Logan 26:28  

I listen to the podcast Bad Dates, many men get their drinks spiked. 

Brad Crowell 26:31  

Yeah, when, when if it's reported and it's not believed, what does that teach the person who reported it? Yeah, that they're they're not going to try to even report it next time. What's the point is what they're going to say. 

Lesley Logan 26:43  

And that's what puts you people in not so great situations, where by the time something does happen, it's a little too late to get help. But I think, like, what, you know, she talked a little bit like changing, changing the shift of of shame from the survivor, from the survivor to the perpetrator, and making that the focus. And I think when you use a product like they have, or you educate women in an or man in this way of like, what? What does it mean to like it's not your fault. It really is is more empowering because now you, especially like, so many people are have fear about like, well, what goes what if something goes wrong on the date? What happens if something goes wrong in the interview? What if something goes wrong at the house showing like, we can take some of the fear away and put some control back in the hands of the person who might be might become a victim of something, and we can hopefully stop that or mitigate that.

Brad Crowell 27:32  

Yeah, and obviously, you know, Joy and her company are very aware of all of the stigma, so they've been intentional about their names of their products. Like, one of them is called We Believe You, It's Not The Dress, you know, like, like, stuff like that, which speak directly to the problem, the real problem, which is the blame game.

Lesley Logan 27:54  

Yeah, yeah. I just think it's like, you know, unfortunately, we're recording this, like, right after, like, some of the Diddy trials and Weinstein's retrial, and, like, it starts to make you think that, like, the Me Too movement, kind of, like, didn't, didn't have the effect that we thought it would have, and women aren't being believed as much or, or the blame is on them for putting themselves in the situations. And I think, like, if we can all think about it differently, we can actually start to spot things and support people, instead of going, well, how did that happen to them? Like with a judgment, it can, things can happen to anybody at any time in this world. And since we can't actually stop these perpetrators because we don't know who they are, what we can all do is band together and be part of a support system, of of being there for people, whether we know them or not, and just being a safety for them, and also not assuming it's what they wore or what they did at a certain time, or why would you be on that street, like all that stuff is unhelpful and.

Brad Crowell 28:54  

Doesn't solve the problem anyway. 

Lesley Logan 28:55  

No, doesn't, doesn't. So, anyways, we can get our high horse on this forever. But I do love what Joy is doing, and I think this product is really cool. 

Brad Crowell 29:03  

Yeah. And also, you know, driven by a clear problem that needs a solution. And, you know, it's just really, really clever. And you know, if you see, if you actually go look at the lipstick, it's pretty innocuous. You wouldn't act there's no like, press here, like Acme button kind of a thing. It's, it's quick, easy and then what, what I thought was also cool is you can set it so that, if I think there's settings, if you click it once, you can alert one person. If you click it twice, you can alert a different person.

Lesley Logan 29:34  

Yeah, you can set up the different things in the app for what you do. And one of our neighbors, you know, her daughter was going off to EDC. Daughter's 19 years old, going to EDC, and of course, the mom wants her daughter to go to EDC, like you should experience festivals when you're 19. She had this product, and she had a Narcan, a Narcan thing so she could be there in case someone needed it, right, like Narcan for somebody who's overdosing, but she had this product to make sure that her own stuff was safe. And that she could be safe so she could enjoy herself and be at EDC. You know, I love, for a 19 year to live in a place where she could just go to a festival and be fine. We don't live in that world. So I love that she was empowered to have a good time and also take care of herself and her friends. 

Brad Crowell 30:19  

That's really cool. That's cool. All right. Well, stick around. We'll be right back, because Joy gave us a couple of really amazing Be It Action Items. We're going to dig into those. 

Brad Crowell 30:19  

All right, welcome back. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Joy Hoover? She said, hold space for yourself. This came from her conversation around the collective trauma that she and her husband and, you know, daughter experience when her daughter was only eight, but with her in laws, right? And she said, immediately after it happened, they started to get therapy as a as a couple, and they've maintained, you know, therapy since, and that was 2013, so it's been a while, right? And she said, prioritizing your healing, it puts you in a position to help others without inadvertently hurting them, right? Like she said, she's and the call out here was, you have to heal yourself first. You can't heal the heal the world if you're not healing yourself first, right? And she said something very intention. She said it was it's not about your intention, right? It's about your impact. And you could have the intention of helping people, but actually be hurting them. So you need to heal yourself first before you're going on to support others in that kind of a way. She said, also, it's not selfish. It's she said, it is selfish to not heal yourself first. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. It's selfish if you don't take care of yourself. 

Lesley Logan 31:53  

I mean now I love this. 

Brad Crowell 31:55  

Yeah, and this is, like, obviously, right up our alley, you know? And.

Lesley Logan 32:00  

Do you know what I read the other day in it, in my own My Morning reads, And I am like, now preaching it, because I always say, like, self-care isn't selfish care, right? So self-care is actually an act of self-love. And if you do not love yourself, you actually cannot love other people. Can't. You can feel like you're loving on them and supporting them and liking them, but like, you actually can't truly love others because you don't love yourself. And the hatred and vitriol we're seeing in this world today, online, and in other places, is just because a bunch of people don't love themselves. And we're like, the world needs love. Gotta love yourself first. Cannot just like, go out you can't just spread yourself thin. And I think that that act of therapy, an act of self-love, it's an act of self-care. It's very important. It's not selfish. You're right. 

Brad Crowell 32:45  

Yeah. What about you? 

Lesley Logan 32:44  

Okay, so she said she encouraged us all to join the Swipe Red movement. The core slogan of the movement is, "No more shame, no more doubt. We see red flags, we call them out." And so you can contribute to the community awareness if you just go to Esōes Cosmetics, and that's at esoescosmetics.com and it provides platforms for community engagement. You can submit experiences you had so others can recognize and respond to similar threats. I think that's really important, because sometimes you have not experienced a red flag, but if you hear about other people's, you go, oh, and then you can see the signs. 

Brad Crowell 33:10  

You know, it's funny, because it, I get a weekly email forwarded from my mom who gets notifications from her company about cybersecurity threats, right? And what people have done to trick other people into giving away information that eventually could hurt them, right? And so it's the same idea here. You know this, the community platform that they've put together is a way to just become more educated and be aware. So I love that. 

Lesley Logan 33:53  

And also, in that community, you can ask for guidance on your own red flags. You can submit a question to inquire the situation the minor ick or a significant red flag. Here's the thing, I love this because, you know, 12 years ago, my therapist was like, Yeah, miss, you ignored the red flags in your relationship. So you need to go back into your memory box about those first dates and what flags did you ignore that were red so that you can spot them as you date. And then you have to practice like, how red is this flag? Is this an orange flag? Is it a yellow flag? What kind of flag is this? And I love this because you don't have to do it by yourself. You could do with other people. You could help you can use other people's red flags to help you. So I think it's really cool. I think it's cool. And what a unique Be It Action Item. So, I'm in. Really cool. I hope everyone goes and checks this out again. Like it can be a great gift for a woman in your life or a person in your life, but also, just like to be aware of what's going on. It's so easy for us to think it won't happen to us, and this stuff, you know, like, some people, I've heard people go, oh, I'm too old for that. Like it won't happen to me. And like, I worry the fuck out of like, my mom and women her age who are dating. I'm like, like, no, there are things that can happen to you. I remember my 80 year old clients, like, I can't get pregnant. I'm like, yeah, but you can get crabs, babe. Like, what? You can't just feel like life's good now I don't have anything to worry about. No, bad things happen to good people. You have to be aware. So, thanks, Joy for what you're doing. I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 35:16  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 35:17  

How are you going to use these tips in your life? Please let us know. Let Joy Hoover at Esōes Cosmetics know, let the Be It Pod know. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. I think it's a great episode to share with a friend. Yes, there's some information that could be hard to listen to, but I think it's really important. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Brad Crowell 35:35  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 35:35  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 36:19  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 36:24  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 36:29  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 36:36  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 36:39  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.