Be It Till You See It

In this dynamic episode, Lesley Logan sits down with Nick Hiter, a multi-talented entrepreneur and host of the Hitstreak podcast, to discuss the transformative power of personal branding. Dive into how Nick strategically expands his business ventures, the significance of clear communication, and the importance of personal branding in today's digital age. Whether you're looking to start your journey or refine your existing strategies, this episode offers actionable insights to help you 'be it till you see it.'

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to organically grow your business by addressing its needs.
• The significance of fundamentals in scaling your ventures.
• The role of personal branding in achieving long-term success.
• Effective strategies for digital marketing and audience engagement.
• How to reframe challenges as growth opportunities.
• The impact of gratitude on personal and professional life.
• Techniques for visualizing success and setting measurable goals.

Episode References/Links:

• Nick Hiter's Instagram
• Nick Hiter's YouTube
• Nick Hiter's Website
• Work with Nick
• Nick Hiter's LinkedIn
• Hitstreak Podcast
• Lesley Logan's Episode on Hitstreak
• Monday.com Project Management Tool
• Daniella Mastek Young Episode
• Wayne Gretzky
• Derek Jeter

Guest Bio:

Nick Hiter is the founder of Team Hiter, a business enterprise focused on helping entrepreneurs drive growth. In his role as the Executive Vice President at RAC Financial, he oversees strategic partnerships for a leading 8-figure payment processing company. His work supports a network of 100+ strategic partners supporting major brands such as Planet Hollywood, Brio, and Buca di Beppo to name a few. As a thought leader on entrepreneurship himself, Nick’s insights have been featured in major media such as CBS, NBC, FOX, The New York Times, and Yahoo to name a few. In addition, as the host of The Hitstreak podcast, he talks weekly with top performers to break down their playbook to success so his audience of over 200 thousand can get to that next level too. Nick is also the voice of SiriusXM’s “Y’allternative” radio station! In his prior company, Nick launched over 150 insurance agencies that generated 100 million dollars in just over 5 years. His latest venture, dubbed “The Hitlab”, is focused on creating a physical space for thought leaders to come together, share, and distribute breakthrough ideas at scale. Beyond business, Nick is a husband to Rhiannon, and father to Ethan and Ansleigh. Nick is a former pro athlete and gives back regularly to local philanthropic organizations in the Nashville area.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Nick Hiter 0:00  

When I build a business, I build a business with the exit in mind. All right. So I'm not going to die doing that business. Hopefully, I retire or I sell that business or I hand it to a next generation or something like that.

So when I start a business, how am I going to exit it? Just like when I programmed the GPS. I got a program, the final destination in for it to work backwards and give me a route and so on and so forth. Starting with the end of the business in mind, my personal brand is something that I keep until the day that I die. I might not keep the business. That's why it's called a personal brand, not a business brand.

Lesley Logan 0:31  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:12  

All right, Be It babe. Get ready for an unstoppable interview. I promise you you're going to want to hit rewind, you're going to want to write some of these things down. Your mood is going to shift, and your opinion about how able you are and control of what happens around you in your day, and then what you're building is about to shift. Nick Hiter is our guest today and he is just a force and energetic human who has a lot of amazingness going on, and it's because he's very intentional. And you're gonna hear that theme throughout this interview. I got to meet him in person when I was on the Hitstreak podcast, so make sure you listen to our interview. It was one of my favorite interviews to ever do. I had, he asked me the best questions. So definitely was one of those fun experiences. You're like, this is something I want to remember, and I will, because if you watch his show on YouTube, you'll also see like it is to the end, everything he does is with intentionality and like really amazing quality. So you are going to be impressed with the production effort that goes into his podcast and his intentionality in the guests that he has. He said, some amazing guests on that podcast. So make sure you check out Hitstreak and then also enjoy this interview. I want to hear what your takeaways are. Truly send them in, tag the Be It Pod, tag Nick Hiter and let us know. And then, as always, share with a friend so we change people's lives, right? How we do that? So without further ado, here is Nick. 

Lesley Logan 2:30  

All right, be it babe. Get ready. This is going to be an energetic conversation. I can already tell you right now I have been in the presence of our guest today in real life, and I'm telling you like I always thought I had a positivity of above a 10 and energy that's pretty close to it most the time. And this person showed me that you can go even higher than that. So Nick Hiter is our guest today. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at, Nick?

Nick Hiter 2:51  

Man, I am a man of faith. I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm a businessman with a podcast. You know what I'm saying. So we're very blessed. Long story short, my wife and I own an insurance agency that owns equity and a few other insurance agencies today. We own a merchant processing company. I'm the voice of a SiriusXM radio station. We own a set of studios and creative agency here in Nashville, Tennessee, and a whole bunch of affiliate partnerships and programs and whatnot. And I'm the host of the Hitstreak podcast, which you've been a guest on.

Lesley Logan 3:24  

Yes, I have. You guys can go listen to that episode right now. Actually, after you're done listening to this one, you'll go listen to that one, of course. 

Nick Hiter 3:24  

That's right. 

Lesley Logan 3:24  

It was an amazing conversation. So I really hope you all enjoy it. So Nick, okay, first thing everyone's going to want to know is, how on earth do you have the time to do all those things? Or have you had nine lives like that is impressive and also requires a lot of time. And you have a family, you have a partner like there's a lot that you're also invested in that's a priority. So how did you get there?

Nick Hiter 3:51  

Everything that we do, the insurance agency was the first thing that we kind of had, and then everything else that we've gotten into was a necessity of the original agency. So it was like we were going to hire somebody to do that or we just started our own thing to serve the previous entity, right? So all the things that we're involved in serve everything else that we do. So whenever we start something new, it's usually because something else we already have needs it. You know what I'm saying? 

Lesley Logan 4:17  

That's really amazing. Thank you for sharing that, because I think a lot of people will see what you're doing or what I'm doing, and they'll go, I'll use myself as an example. I have an on demand Pilates membership. I have a podcast. We do retreats. So then someone looks at that and goes, I need all those things. And what they don't realize is, first I had a studio, then I started traveling, so I needed to have an on demand thing. And then because people wanted to spend time with who lived in other places, we did the retreat. So like, each thing we created was because of a need, like you said, What is your advice for the person who sees the finished project or where we're at and thinks they need to start all those things at one time, versus, like, how we've done it?

Nick Hiter 4:55  

The same way that you were educated as a child, like you got kindergarten curriculum in kindergarten, not eighth grade. You know what I'm saying? So a buddy of mine named Marcus Whitney told me, he said, "Don't mistake my chapter 20 for your chapter one. 

Lesley Logan 5:08  

Yeah. Yeah. We, like, people like to do that. They really do.

Nick Hiter 5:12  

Absolutely. When I watch Michael Jordan play basketball, I wanted to play like he did, but I hadn't done the work that he had done and learned what he had learned to be able to make the decisions that he makes on the fly, knowing how to work out, how to practice, how to grow, and then how to execute in a game, right? So there's a lot of experience required to get good at anything.

Lesley Logan 5:29  

Yeah, I know. And that's also like you're an athlete, like those fundamentals are the things that people think are boring. They want to skip over. They want to do the thing that's fancy. And especially because of social media, most people put the fancy stuff out because that's the stuff that looks good. That's the stuff that like, gets the likes, or gets the comments. I recently posted myself just doing footwork on a Reformer, which, you might remember from when you did Pilates. It's pretty boring. It's just lying down, doing squats, basically. But it is such a fundamental exercise that leads you to anything you want to do, and also gives so much information. And a lot of people like to skip that fundamental stuff. What are some of the fundamentals that you like really found have helped you grow your businesses the way that they have? 

Nick Hiter 6:08  

First of all, to scale or grow anything, it's going to hurt. It's why they call them growing pains. All right. It's never easy. It's usually uncharted territory, even if you have knowledge and things from somebody else. But you always got to have something that you can measure the growth by or the lack of. Okay. So you got to have things that you can measure just like losing weight. Do you think you would have finished school if you had to go for 13 years but you didn't know where you were at? Like, you didn't know, it wasn't broken up into 13 grades. I wouldn't have, after, like, a couple years, I'd have been like, Mom, Dad, like, when does this end? Where are we at? Like, when you're a kid on a road trip, are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there? Yeah, you got to have something to measure your success or lack thereof. Again, everything that we got into served the need of something else. Okay? So whenever you're building things, and then you're going to need more people, when you're adding new things, right? Because you just grew. So obviously, if I was at capacity and we launched another product, launched another company, or whatever it may be, even a new department, it's going to require people, and that leads you to communication, right? So the best in the world, in anything, can clearly communicate, all right? And communication has to go two directions. Derek Jeter said that loyalty, trust and communication going one way is stupid. All right, so it's got to go both directions and then through that communication, you have to be able to clearly delegate, and you have to be able to clearly automate. In the world that we live in today with technology, if you're not using automation and you're not good at it, you're probably getting beat by somebody that is.

Lesley Logan 7:30  

Yeah, oh my gosh, the delegation automation is so hard for especially if you're not used to it. I know when I hired my first assistant, I kept asking her, do you think you could? Would it be? Would you be able to? And she's like, it's my job to just do what you're asking, and if I can't do it, I'll tell you. And I was like, oh, she trained me how to delegate real quick. Because I was like, oh, okay, so she'll just, she'll tell me if she can't do it. And that's how I've always operated. So now, anybody who works for me, I'm like, if I give you something that you don't, I don't give you enough time for you need to tell me. Otherwise, that's when I want, this is how we're gonna go, because it's communication, but with automation, there's so many tools now and free tools like it used to be so expensive to automate things, and now, like my husband's Monday boards scare a lot of people, but they are amazing for our business, because I love, at each year, going back to measuring, Monday tells us this is how many things you automated this year. This is how many minutes or hours or, like, months you've saved because of automations. Like, it's so amazing. Going back to communication, you are really amazing at personal branding and digital marketing, and that is forms of communication. 

Nick Hiter 6:45  

Absolutely. 

Lesley Logan 7:31  

Can you tell me how you got into that? What's your favorite part about doing that? 

Nick Hiter 7:40  

In a previous life, when my wife and I were in a management group with three other friends of mine and we owned restaurants and nightclubs, in Nashville back then, if you weren't the best promoter, you lost. It wasn't just open the doors and people flood in. Back then, you actually had to be good. You had to market and attract people. All right? So we learned a lot about marketing. That was the timing of that was right when Facebook, Myspace had already come and gone, Facebook and Instagram and those other platforms were on the rise and becoming more and more prevalent. So like, we learned the value of those really quick. And then when we got into the world of insurance, they did not value that at all. They did not value social media. There was a lot due to compliance issues and a whole bunch of other great reasons. That just wasn't a space where insurance agents were leveraging those platforms to grow. So when we got in there, we had a head start on everybody, and we just used that. We dove right in with it, went all in with it, and created something that we were very proud of. And all we did was market one message over and over again, which was another win for the client, who's next. So when it comes to personal branding, digital marketing, first of all, when I build a business, I build a business with the exit in mind, all right, so I'm not going to die doing that business. Hopefully I retire, or I sell that business, or I hand it to a next generation, or something like that. So when I start a business, how am I going to exit it just like when I program the GPS, I got to program the final destination in, bring it to work backwards and give me a route, and so on and so forth. Starting with the end of the business in mind, my personal brand is something that I keep until the day that I die. I might not keep the business. That's why it's called a personal brand, not a business brand. I'm a big believer in build a personal brand first, and you can launch businesses with that personal brand, and that's what my wife and I have been very blessed to do. 

Lesley Logan 10:19  

Okay. I do love that, because there's been a lot of amazing businesses where a personal brand has come out of it, like Spanx, for example, it was known and then Sarah Blakely, but that is difficult nowadays to get a business launched into a huge space. Like there's so much noise, there's it really is, like, who has the most ad money can really dive through? So to go back to the personal brand, just in case anyone listening isn't really understanding the difference between a personal brand and business brand, can you just go like, a little more layman's terms, just for them, and then can you tell me more about, like, developing your personal brand, what that was like.

Nick Hiter 10:53  

So, your personal brand is your reputation online. Okay, online. We all know a lot of people, but how many people do we actually interact with on a daily basis, versus my Instagram account reaches millions every 30 days. Okay, so, like, I can't touch that many people in person. So online, it's a much greater net if you're fishing, it's a way bigger cobweb when you're casting out. Again, the personal brand is your reputation online or what you've accomplished to date, and how many people know about it? And again, you can cast a way bigger net online than you can in person. So with the personal brand, that's why it's so important. And I want to kind of preface that question with this your personal brand. Treat it like its own entity. That's the biggest mistake people make, is they want to build a personal brand. They might even hire our agency, and then, like life happens, they run into problems in their business. They run into problems at home, and the personal brand is the first thing to take a back seat. And it's a commitment. You wouldn't do that to your business. You wouldn't do that to your family, I hope. You wouldn't do that to your kids. Put your personal brand on a level of importance that's the same as those other things, because again, the personal brand is yours, man, and it took me years to build our first seven or eight figure company, and then once we had an established personal brand of a certain size, we can launch them almost at will to the right market, or as long as the company or brand that we're the one to launch from our personal brand is in alliance with that. So your personal brand, you have an audience. Are you growing that audience? Is your audience shrinking? Are you feeding that audience? What are you providing for that audience to keep them coming back for more?

Lesley Logan 12:20  

Yeah, I think it's really amazing. I want to highlight, like, doesn't get put on the waste on the wayside. And also, like, you can take people with you on those obstacles with a personal brand that you cannot with a business brand. Like, your business (inaudible), you're not gonna go, oh, another failed launch today. That's not so great. But you can take people on the journey of, like, what it's like to try out new things and learn from them. And with my personal brand, I've always been very open with my health struggles. Because one, I had no one to help me, and I was like, seeking out this information myself. And I was like, if I'm going through 10 years of stomach issues, there's probably other people going through stomach issues as well. So how can I help them in a way that's like, I'm not going outside of my scope, but I can be like, at least a cheerleader, like, just keep going. And now, as I'm 41 what I found is most of the women who listen to the show, most of them who follow me, most of them who want to take class with me, they're over 40 as well, and so being able to share the journeys I'm on, like, hey, here are the things I'm doing to keep the energy up that I have when I was 30, now, because it's harder now. So I think that's what's so fun about a personal brand and correct like you don't have to have tons of followers, you guys to reach a lot of people. It's kind of amazing. If you're putting stuff out there that people want to share, and it's your rep, it's like that. It's quoted to you, and it's really amazing. And whenever we put together a new product, it does better than a business doing a similar thing, because we have so much trust built in with what we're doing. When I was in Nashville last when we saw you, I spoke at the Soho House, and there was two other businesses there, one who works with over $100 million a year in ads on social medias as an agency, and then this other person, who was the fifth hire for Rent the Runway, and he's done a million other things that are amazing, right? So here I am, the small business owner, and I blew their minds, because we actually sell things where you have to wait four months for it. Happens all the time. When we have a new product, we allow people on that journey, and it's because so they asked me, like, how are you doing that? Because we have to like. how do you get people to wait? And I said, because they're on the journey with me. They trust me. They know what I'm building. They know how many hours I spent on it. They know what they're going to get, and they know it's going to be four months and they're getting this thing. And the guy looked at me, he's like, that would never work for my clients. And I'm like, that's because your clients don't want to build a reputation with their customers. They don't want a relationship with them. I want a relationship. That's what a personal brand really does well. So what did you do in building yours? Was that something you started out with years ago, or something that you when you started your nightclubs, or is that something a bit more recent?

Nick Hiter 14:43  

Well, again, it's what you've accomplished, and how many people know about it. So we've all accomplished certain things in life, and so for me, I played professional sports, so that was something that separated me from a lot of people, which that was leverage that I could use that to get in other doors, to get conversations happening with people, whatever it may be. And because of that success, and a lot of people knew about it, in a game that is, at least up until recently, it's been known as America's pastime, it was just a very important thing. But again, the personal brand, like it's its own product. Every company had a founder, and that founder created that company which had a story. So what we're seeing today is people are selling stuff on freaking TikTok, a shop that, like, you can't even like, how secure is that thing? Like, anybody can buy and be a brand and sell anything these days. And what you're finding is that gives a lot of power to the small business owner. So the small business owner can reach as many people as the large ones can. The gates are down. The fences are down. So the founder story, I think, is incredibly important. I think that people, as a matter of fact, we learned at brand (inaudible), I think 58% of people are buying from, are at least shopping first from an entity that has a personal brand tied to the product or the story. So again, all the things that we use as consumers, we have favorite restaurants, favorite stores, favorite products. Why are they our favorites? All right? And then why can't we use that same knowledge to turn right around and be that for somebody else? Okay? So as consumers, I don't think we're very smart a lot of the times. I think we've been programmed to a certain degree, and I think that we're just running those programs and we're not actually like thinking why and how to make them better? Does that make sense? 

Lesley Logan 16:17  

Yeah, no, it really does. It shocks me when people don't really understand cookies on their phone and on their devices. I use them to help me. Brad makes fun of me. My husband makes money because I, like, will intentionally click on an ad that I want to get served later on. Because I'm like, I'm not ready to buy that thing right now, but I don't want to forget this thing. And instead of, like, writing down what I want, I'm like, nope, I'll just let that hit me up later. And I intentionally, I use the algorithm to serve me what I want. I'm always looking for positive stuff, and then I'm always telling it what I want to buy, so it serves me those things. But a lot of people are like, just taking things as they come, not really having that discernment.

Nick Hiter 16:51  

You're taking responsibility. How many people don't do social media? They just blame the algorithm. What is the algorithm exactly that you're blaming? And first of all, how do you take ownership of it. That's the only way you can fix it. If you place blame, you give somebody else ownership, which means you've removed yourself from being a part of the solution. Last time I checked, the people that solve the most problems make the most money. So you're either a victim or a survivor and they look and smell a lot like a quitter versus a finisher. Okay. God hides the gifts and the things finished. And the end of something is the beginning of something else. And if you quit, you don't get the end. You don't get the gift. Okay. And no matter what storm you're in, dude, it runs out of rain. 

Lesley Logan 17:31  

Yeah. Oh my gosh. You guys, everyone could just hit rewind on that. That was really brilliant. That was really amazing. 

Nick Hiter 17:35  

Thank you. 

Lesley Logan 17:36  

Yeah, I think a lot of people see an obstacle as a sign that they're not supposed to do something. Oh, my posts aren't they're not landing. So I'm not good at this. I'm not supposed to be doing this. And this is a sign I'm not supposed to do it. It's just the obstacle that you have to get over because you need the muscle, you need the feedback, you need to learn this lesson so that where you're going you are prepared for the next thing. 

Nick Hiter 17:55  

Yeah, everybody that's considered successful, or they get paid well to do whatever it is they do. They're good at it. Okay, so think about it. There's companies that spend six or seven figures a month on their digital marketing, and you spend $400 and you don't know a lot, and the company that you hired, you really don't know why you hired them, other than boy, I sure hope they nail this for me. But again, as consumers, we shop places based on information that we've gathered about that entity or that business or that product. But then, when it comes to this type of stuff, we hire stuff. We hire companies or agencies. We just cross our fingers and go like, I hope they get it right. Like, how do you know if you hired the right person? How do you know if you hired the right agency? What are you measuring and how long does it take for them to get you those results? Did you ask those questions? Are expectations being managed? I have clients myself that'll spend 9, 10, 12 grand over a couple months, which ain't a lot, and they feel like, man, I should be making millions by now. I'm like, well, if that's all it took, then why would anybody spend a million dollars on a Super Bowl ad? If that's all it took to make millions. Just, hey, man, throw six grand at this little company on Instagram, and they're going to make you millions. Nobody would do anything else. So it's just, it's those expectations.

Lesley Logan 19:06  

Yeah, you know, I love those questions. You gave out. We hired someone. Oh, from an agency, and it was for our YouTube channel. And I definitely thought I did the research. I asked the questions, because we've hired companies before, when we first started our business, and definitely didn't ask those questions. We didn't really know what to ask. So I felt like I asked it. They set the expectations of like, this is what our goal is for your channel, and this is what we've done for other channels and da, da, da. And within five months, everything was awesome. And within five months, I'm like, this is I'm looking at, even if we compound what growth we've had, we're not going to get to the goal you set. We're certainly not going to get to the realistic goal I set. What are we doing here? We have a year-long contract. We have time to rectify the ship. Let's go. And two months later, things hadn't changed. So I continued to raise like, here are my concerns. Here is this thing. And so I laughed, because when we got to the point where we could renew the contract, I was like, are you even asking me? I have been telling you specifically what I'm looking for based on what you told me, based on what you sold me, and now I love that you raised your rates. I love that everyone should raise the rates every year. It's great, but you're raising rates, and you didn't even get me, there was, you didn't even give me 10% of the results we talked about. So you have some work to do, but it's not going to be on me, and it's my fault for allowing us to do a year-long contract. Next time, I'll probably want to do something different so we can have a way out if it's not working the way we expected. And so you also can ask all the questions, and it cannot, it still not go the way you want, and you don't have to get met. I'm not going to blame her. I have to take responsibility. What did I miss? What did I not, what did I not ask? Where was I not super clear on what I expected? And so the next time I know better. And the truth is, like we did learn a lot, our channel grew tremendously, just not to the point that it even paid for what we were paying for them. So it's not all bad. Nothing is all bad. I think we get to learn from it. You talk about the personal brand is so important. So, reputation online. With digital marketing, a lot of people, you said it already, like people like, pay an agency and then they hope and pray. I think a lot of people don't understand what digital marketing is. And like, how a lot of people that we coach, they'll post like, come take my class. And I'm not gonna lie, guys, on the day that we're recording this, I did a post which I have to do for this tour. We launched a tour, and it's basically like tour's happening. Here's what it is. The only people gonna get excited about that, people who know what the tour is. So I'll have other digital marketing I have to do later that actually explains things and educates and inspires and does all this stuff. But what is the difference between a digital marketing strategy where people just post, buy my stuff, come take my class, and one that actually grows a business?

Nick Hiter 21:40  

First of all, like I heard one time, the riches are in the niches. Okay, so that what that means to me is specificity, like, it's specific, okay, so let's use, like a neurosurgeon. Would you go to that person for sports rehab? That's not their specialty, right? So digital marketing is massive. Let's just talk about how you compare it to, like money, because we were having a big accounting meeting this morning. So on a business, there's revenue and there's expenses. You take revenue, you subtract expenses, whatever is left, and you want to grow that number, week over week, day over day, shift over shift, month over month, year over year, well, over here. Well, then you've got access to lines of credit. So what's that mean? There's accessible lines of credit, and then are you paying principal or interest when you take out money on those lines of credit. Same thing with credit cards, except credit cards, now you have rewards that you can manage. So like even with your growing, your money on your revenue, on your business. But how are you using cash in cash out lines of credit and then credit cards, which are another form of lines of credit, but again, they have rewards versus bank lines of credit or homeowners lines of credits and stuff. They're different. So it's understanding how you win in each space. It's like, you don't hire a company that's great at YouTube, and it's a bit like, man, why aren't you going to my Instagram? Okay? So again, what are you hiring for? And you have to market to a lot of people–vegetarian, see the steakhouse commercial on TV. It happens, you know what I mean? But like, even if you're going to advertise on a network, you're going to pick like the right network based on the right audience, based on the right demographic of who's watching it at that time, there's all this information that is used to make these decisions, but we don't always use those. A lot of times we're just scratching the surface, and again, that's where you're crossing your fingers. How do you know you hired the right company? How do you know you hired the right company? And you got to have things that you can measure. And before I hire anybody, I like to have those on the front end. All right, it's a year-long contract. After 90 days, how do I know if we're on track? After 150 days how do I know if we're on track? You know what I mean? 3-6-9-12 months down the road, 30 days later, how do I know if we're on track? And what can I do differently? And the moment you say, the moment you place blame on somebody else, subconsciously, you're telling yourself they're the only ones that can fix that problem. Everything's Nick's fault, I promise. Because it's the only way I can fix it. It has to be my fault, because that's the only way I can take ownership to fix it. So even when I hire people, if they're not hitting the measurements that I want, it's my fault, because then I'm going to go to them and say, what can we do to fix this, versus just, what can you do? What are you going to do to fix this? You have to ask that question too. When you say we, there's their part and there's my part, and if I did my part and they didn't do their part, now, we part ways.

Lesley Logan 24:16  

Yeah, yeah. And I think also it's even possible to do your part for them to do their part, and it still not be the right parts. And you have to, and those are the hardest times to part ways, because it's like, it's, you know, we're either missing another part or we're not the right parts for this project. And we have to.

Nick Hiter 24:33  

And that's based on the relationship. If I met my wife, who is the lady who is my wife today, and we got married tomorrow, like there's not a lot of research or knowledge that we've gained about each other, so we're going to find out a lot later. There's a certain amount of due diligence that's required on all parties to make sure they're a good fit for both. And as a vendor that people hire, it's important to me that I am the right vendor, so I'm always encouraging them to do the right research, and then I'm again, Everything's my fault. The company chose me and I wasn't the right person. It's my fault. I didn't do enough due diligence on the front end, you know what I'm saying? So again, communication, everything goes two directions. 

Lesley Logan 25:07  

Yeah, we interviewed Daniella Mestyanek Young, who survived a cult, and we were talking about, because I have communities, and I was like, yeah, I'm always trying to make sure I don't have a cult. Like, I'm always, always trying to make sure I'm not creating a cult, because I don't want to, I don't want to be a cult leader. That's a lot of pressure and the answer, like anyone could leave at anytime time, is not the same, because that's true of most cults. But I said to her, I said, no, we're pretty clear. If we're not the right fit for you, because there are some people who want coaching from me, and they're like, well, I want you like, I'm not going to do the work for you. You have to actually come to me before you create the problem. Ideally be great before you. I've had people like, I signed this contract, and now I'm like, oh, I can't help you now, you've got to get a lawyer. This is beyond my coaching business, so I'm trying, we try really hard to be as the vendor. Like, here's what we're really good at. What do you need? Okay, we can't do that, but we can do this. And if that's what you want help on, we'll do that. And if that's not, it's totally okay. And I think that's really important, because for everyone listening, because it is hard to say no to money, it's hard to say no just and also you could be like, well, I can talk about that. Like, I could help them. Yeah, but it's not the thing that you want to be helping them with, and it's not the thing that you're the best to help them with. And like you said, it the riches are in the niches. You'll have more energy, you'll have more growth if you're helping people, the thing that you're most able to do. And so I think that's a really important message that you gave us. It's like, make sure that you, the person who was doing the thing is also the right fit for the person buying or hiring the thing. 

Nick Hiter 26:31  

I love using plays on words too, to change people's paradigm or their perspective, meaning like using the word cult. You know, well, cult is the root word of culture. I think we would all agree. We'd want a great culture, which is the form of some form of a cult. Even Bruce Lee said, "The words that you say to yourself are so powerful because letters, when you do something to them form a word, you spell them. So when you use words, you're casting a spell on your own mind, right? Just based on the roots of those words. Communication, well, isn't that a form of community? You know what I mean? The words that we use all the time. Brad taught me a really valuable lesson one time, because I was always told, be humble, be kind. The Bible says, be humble to the Lord, but nobody else. Because if you look up the definition of humble, it's actually low thought or opinion of oneself. I was always told, be humble, dude. Do I really want to have low opinion of myself. No, I'll be humble to the Lord, but that's the only person. That's the only thing. You know what I mean. So we use all these words all the time, and actually don't know what they mean.

Lesley Logan 27:30  

Yeah, I know. And the thing is, you guys can ask, you can ask your phone really easily. So just yesterday, my husband and I were talking, I used the word titrate and he goes, titrate. I'm like, well, it means people can titrate, they can actually add or take out based on what they need. And he looked up the actual definition. It was mostly like, for medication. I was like, it works at this particular instance as well. But yeah, it's important look them up.

Nick Hiter 27:55  

When you use the word humble, if me and you have different definitions of that word, we're not actually saying talking about the same thing, you know? So I was given a keynote one time. We were talking about mindset, right? When mindset became a word everybody used it all the time. So I'm talking about mindset. And I just happened to look out over the crowd, and I was like, I just got this vibe, like there was like, 15 different looks coming back at me, which means there's 15 different opinions out there. So I was like, guys, what's the definition of mindset? I asked eight people and got eight different definitions. So we were actually talking about eight different things and didn't even know it. Even though we were communicating, the communication wasn't happening. 

Lesley Logan 28:32  

The impact was not of the intention. There's this amazing show on Netflix I love to watch. It's called Physique 100, Physique, yeah, Physical: 100 and it's a Korean show, and they take 100 people in Korea, and they do this physical competition, and it's a see who is the best physique, right? And there's these guys who can lift cars, and there's also, like, a rock climber, and there's someone who does, like mountain climbing, like fire stuff, and then they put it through challenges, and obviously different physiques do better at different challenges. But it was so funny because the translation, since it's Korean, they're translating and people are saying, you have the best physique. I like your physique. And it was so weird because in English translation, it's a little superficial, and especially at the time it was coming out with body positivity, I was like, this is not going to land well, I think they should have translated this just a little bit differently, because this exact translation is not how we use the word, and so it still did okay, but I think you're correct, like, we have to know what the thing be on the same page of a definition. And that's also like, when you go back to the marketing and your personal branding, like you're talking about communications, like making sure that you are using that where the words that your audience, that you're trying to serve is that's how they use those words. It's the words that they use. So that way they really feel like you're communicating with them. 

Nick Hiter 29:47  

In the world of sports, some of the greatest coaches, when they're talking about these things, like you can watch coach prime Deion Sanders in their classroom, they show a lot of footage of that, and literally, like on the screen behind him will be a word with the definition that they're talking about. So he's making sure that his entire team is talking about the exact same thing. They wear a uniform. Well, what's the definition of uniform? It's the same, right? So that's what teams do. Going back to the world of baseball, which may or may not resonate with your audience, but like Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, were two of the best to ever do it, all right? One guy hit almost just shy of 700 home runs and one guy hit a few 100, okay, but one guy won six championships and one guy won one so who's the better of the two? Derek Jeter would say, well, I am. They'd say, well, he hit almost 700 home runs and you hit 250 or whatever it is. He'd say, you didn't ask who was the best home run hitter. You said who was the best player and the best players win the most games, win the most championships, right? That's how you gage. Is that a track star? Well, they won the most gold records, so they're the best that ever was. So again, when you're even asking, who's the best player, what are you making those decisions off of? What are you measuring? 

Lesley Logan 30:52  

Yeah. Feel like that's the theme here. Like, what are we measuring? And I think something that I try really hard with this podcast, with each person who's listening, be it till you see it is acting as if the thing, person, goal you want to have is happening right now, because that changes how you show up. But then you also need to know how to measure that. Is it happening? Otherwise it is going to school for 13 years. I'm wondering when you graduate now, I completely understand why we have random graduations. You graduate from kindergarten, then a few years later, sixth grade, then eighth grade, they keep helping you out. This has been amazing. I want to know what you're excited about right now, like, what's coming up for you? Because you know you're someone who doesn't sit still. You are constantly challenging yourself. It's proof, I'm based on just like, how you've talked about what it is that you've grown and what you do here. So what are you excited about that's coming up?

Nick Hiter 31:38  

As a man of faith, it's crazy how just things are put in front of you. We've been very aggressive for the past few years in growth, in business revenue, helping people hope all those things and like, all of a sudden, my news feed, just out of the blue, got flooded with, like, I have a daughter at home, she just turned three. It wasn't that long ago I was holding her and like, gratefulness is what I'm most excited about in the fact that, like, what's been put on my news feed is parents with their infants that just got heart transplants, or literally, like five days before my son left me, you know. And one of my clients I just found out didn't even know this, that as a parent, he had lost a child before, so all of a sudden, I looked around and realized how great I have it. And that took a lot of, that removed a lot of the frustration that I've been feeling, because I want to grow faster and realize that, like all right, all this is happening for reasons, it comes with a great responsibility, and it all starts with gratefulness. You can't have a bad day if you're grateful. A bad day and a good day is a choice. Okay, stuff's always going to happen, but how you react to it, or how you respond to it, that's what makes the good or the bad day. Okay, are you grateful for the problem or not? And if you're grateful for the problem, you're grateful for the solution. And man, it was a great day. So for me, I'm most excited about the gratitude that I'm going to be allowed to have and share with other people. 

Lesley Logan 33:09  

Yeah, I actually think that's really, especially as someone who likes to move fast, and it can also be harder when you have a team. Yes, you can move fast, but also it's it you go farther with a team, that's what they say. You move fast, go alone, go far, have people with you. And so there has to be a different measurement, and that's something that I've been really I had a coach recently say he's like in the last six years, I missed every goal I've ever set for this business, and I'm the most successful I've ever been. And he said, if you're hitting every goal, you're not setting, your goals high enough, and really should be asking yourself, like, am I acting like the person who could have hit that goal as the team acting like that? And if so, then it was a success, and we can measure that based on these things that improved. And it's so easy, you know, I have had listeners and people we coach who go, I'm not hitting these numbers that I wanted to hit. I'm just like, I'm not good at this. And it's like, you're not good at this. We set a goal that was going to challenge you. You got really close. That doesn't, it's not failure, like there's improvement there. And if we had it hit, it like we didn't, we probably could have set the goal a little higher. I love the way you said that, because we do have a choice of whether we see it as good or bad. We have a channel in our coaching group. It's called, I need a moment. And you're allowed to, like, have a moment and just blurt it out. But there is a rule, and what I love is that our members uphold this rule. If I'm not in there, if you don't immediately go to the wins channel and share a win, people are like, this is terrible, but you got to post a win. It has to be right now. Can't be later today. Has to be right now, because if you have time to bitch, you have time to win. So they're very on top of it, and it's so fun, because now what people do is they just go to the win channel and they go, all right, I was going to have a moment, but I'm actually seeing that losing this client is the greatest thing ever, because I didn't want to work at 9am and so, you know, it's really, it really is a choice, and so thank you for reminding us. We're gonna take a brief break and then we're gonna find out where people can find you, follow you or work with you. 

Lesley Logan 35:06  

All right. Nick, where do you like to hang out? What's your favorite socials? How can people connect with you more?

Nick Hiter 35:10  

YouTube and Instagram are the two that we're focused on the most, just because I feel like that's where we're having the most impact right now. And honestly, my son is kicking my tail on YouTube. Like, holy cow, he found his little niche, and he is freaking crushing. I'm talking like he's grown 14,000 subscribers in 90 days. 

Lesley Logan 35:28  

Wow. That is impressive. I love YouTube. I love my viewers on YouTube. I love even the ones that say where it thanks me. They're my favorite.

Nick Hiter 35:36  

Man. YouTube hasn't always been the biggest Nick Hiter fan, so we're working on changing that, taking responsibility and fixing that, and we've brought on some new team members that are going to focus on that, which we're really excited about. But Instagram is great. Everything's @NickHiter. My website's at nickhiter.com you can get to everything from nickhiter.com even if you're interested in booking for a Keynote or booking me on a podcast appearance like this, or anything else. nickhiter.com, all my socials are @NickHiter.

Lesley Logan 36:01  

Perfect. Love that. And you guys, his podcast is called Hitstreak, so you can listen to it wherever you listen to this one, unless you're on the OPC app to listen to this one. You'll have to go to your podcast. Listen to a different one. Okay, you have actually given us a lot of nuggets, some great gems. I'm really excited for this, but just in case people need some not too long, didn't listen, but just an action they can take from today, what is something bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted that they can do to be it till they see it?

Nick Hiter 36:30  

To be it till you see it, Wayne Gretzky said, you win the game before you ever step out on the ice. Okay? So, like, life's an offensive sport, you don't win the championship by accident. You chose, okay? You chose that that was the goal you wanted, and then you did the required work, and then a lot of things had to happen. And if everything went right, you became the champion, right? But if you didn't win the championship this year, assuming it's sports and you're not aging out, then you know what you need to work on to improve to win next year. Okay? That's life, man. Life's an offensive sport. And what you're saying to yourself, again, going back to that Bruce Lee thing, you're casting spells on yourself with the words that you say. In my town, the most common greeting we need is, how are you doing? Right? So they say, Nick, how you doing? I'm unstoppable. I said it to you when I got here today.

Nick Hiter 36:34  

Totally I was like, I love that. 

Nick Hiter 36:38  

Everytime I do that for two reasons. One, I've said it enough times that I actually believe it. Okay. So again, everything takes repetition, and two, people remember it, because most common response is, I'm good. Well, guess what? That's all you're going to be. That's all you're going to be. You know what I mean? So to be it till you see it, like Brad told me about the power of visualization. Some people call it manifestation. First of all, if you're going to visualize, visualize with a partner, find somebody that's going the same place you're going, because you get there twice as fast, all right. But Brad said, Nick, what kind of house you want to move into next? A big one? Well, he's like, what does that even mean? Big is a reference. It's different to everybody else. How about you say this big house. And this is the wall that my TV is going to go on, and this is the chair I'm going to sit in when I watch that TV. He's like, do you want to own a jet? Well, what's the logo that's going to be on the seats of the jet? He's like, that is being it till you see it. That's visualization, right? So, like, everything you do has got to be on purpose. And the difference between a major league pitcher and a little league pitcher is the size target they can hit. Okay? So the more specific you are with your targets or your goals, the better chances you have to hit them. 

Lesley Logan 38:18  

Oh, I love this. You guys, it is so accurate, my brick-and-mortar studio in LA that I have only for two years. And that is absolutely wonderful, I visualized. I said, that is where my, I looked at the window of the building, I said, that's my studio right there, and it wasn't available when I walked by. Month later, I kept going, that's my studio. Just every time I walked by, I just picture my studio being there. One day, I opened up searching like for rental space, commercial rental space and it was available. And I was like, that's my spot. And when Covid happened, we visualized this house. Brad and I sat down together, and it wasn't like, we're gonna get a house. It was like, how many bedrooms? What are in those but what is each bedroom being used for? Where in Vegas is it at? And so exactly when the real estate agent sent us this house, I was like, that's the house. We like, we didn't even have a car when we moved to Vegas. We, like, rented a car, drove here. We're like, we're buying, this is the house we're buying. And we celebrate that four years ago this week. So the more sense of you are things really do happen. Nick, you're amazing. This is a wonderful conversation. I'm so jazzed up because of you. And like I said in your podcast, like you took my energy levels and positive another level, you just did it again. So thank you so much. Y'all. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Please let Nick and I know. Tag us both. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Maybe you've got a friend who, like needs to remind themselves that they're unstoppable, or maybe they're trying to figure out their personal brand. You can just send this to them. You don't have to even remember the things. You can just go here listen to this, because that is how we change people's lives, and also, when you change people's lives around you, your life changes too. We'll all get to work together. So thank you all so much, and until next time, be it till you see it. 

Lesley Logan 39:49  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 40:32  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 40:37  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 40:41  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 40:48  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 40:52  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Celebrate your wins with Lesley Logan as she explores how making proactive decisions today can positively impact your future. Discover how planning activities in advance, like Lesley's post-tour Pilates retreat, can keep you motivated and focused. Learn from listeners that showcase the power of investing in experiences and opportunities that push you beyond your comfort zone. Tune in for actionable insights and your weekly mantra to support your growth journey.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The value of listener support in driving great content.
• The impact of raising prices on client retention and revenue.
• Significance of scheduling future activities to maintain motivation.
• Embracing opportunities that push you outside your comfort zone.

Episode References/Links:

• Ep. 319 Nikole M. Mitchell

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah.

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins.

 Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:46  

Hi, Be It babe, how are you? Hi, I'm great. Happy FYF, Fuck Yeah Friday. This Friday, I am bringing this to you. Well, it's happening because of my amazing team, but I am in Los Angeles. If you're watching this, I am definitely on my home recording it, but when you're listening to this. I am in Los Angeles for the weekend, and that's me proud of my win. So I will save that information for you for a second. But if you are new here, hi, welcome to the Be It Pod. I am so grateful that you are here. This is podcast was a dream of mine for a long, long, long, long time. And what's so cool is that we are past three years, we're past 400 episodes. We've got amazing, amazing guests coming from you, and you make me a better person, you just do, because you challenged me to find really cool people that are helping you be it till you see it. So thank you so much. I hope you listened to this week's interview and our recap. If you haven't, make sure you listen to those, because it's important. There's some great stuff. There's some gems for someone. And if it's not for you, it'll be for someone you know in your life. And sometimes we're just listening to things like, oh my god, this is definitely for my friend, or this is definitely for my mom. This is for my sister. And like, how cool that you could be the messenger of the thing that they need? That's amazing. That's actually could be a win you celebrate. So FYFs, I celebrate. I win of yours and I win of mine. So this is from Jeanne Cho, she's an agency member, and she wrote, FYF I now have converted two out of my five work days to begin at my desired start time of 9 am. I truly believe this is a result of manifestation. I'm looking at a 10% drop in client retention due to a 20% price increase. I sign up three new clients this week, two which will become duets, which is where I needed this business to go. One of these new clients gave me a 30% tip on a five-pack at the new highest price in town rate. What? Just about my first international trip in three years, to take a week-long trip to Barcelona with my mom and my daughter. Oh, my god, three generations. That's amazing. Okay, so Jeanne, I just want to, like, shout you out. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. Can we just, go, I just want to do something. I'll highlight a couple things in here for anyone listening to this, she is going to have a 10% drop in client retention due to 20% price increase. Guess what? She's still making 10% more. That's how that works. So when you increase your prices 10% you can lose 10% of your clients and make the same amount of money in less time. She's actually going to be making 10% more money in less time. So way to freaking go. She also got people to be in duets which means she's making even more money on those. And somebody decided that her price is weren't even high enough, and they tipped her even more. So, like, just signs from the universe that you are doing an amazing job. Yes, money can be scary to charge for, but like you, obviously, are giving people the benefits that make them go this is worth it. So way to go. And so excited for you to have three generations on an international trip together. That sounds so amazing. 

Lesley Logan 3:17  

All right, I'm gonna do one more. This one's from Brigid Pearse. She is out of Australia, a member of like, four years just doing great. FYF, new client coming today. Resonate with my marketing, is excited to work with me. My energy is low, lots of motions coming up about a lot of things. I'm being kind to myself and staying focused. Started booking a holiday for July. You know what? Good for you. Like, a holiday when you're feeling low, having something to look forward to is just like the right thing to do. And actually, the timing of that win, Brigid, couldn't be any better, because it's actually what I had to do. 

Lesley Logan 3:52  

So my win is that I'm why I'm in Los Angeles. Is because months ago, I booked myself a little Pilates vacation for after my tour. I could have said let me think about it. Let me wait on it. I mean, like I could have signed up last minute. I'm sure could have gotten one or two days in, but I was like, no, I want all three days, and I want to lock my spot in five months early so that I have this to look forward to. So I have this thing and it's so easy for us to procrastinate on making a decision about something that can make our future self happy. We can procrastinate. We can talk ourselves out of it. We can say, oh, now's not the right time to spend that money. I'll just wait till three months before, when the spots are like, there's still a spot left, but like, you have to deal with your money how you want to deal with it, and that's fine. I'm not here to tell you what to do about your money here, but what I am saying is, like, do not put off making a decision that your future self is going to love just because your present self is low or tired or a little bit nervous about things. Because guess what you also do? If you remember Nikole Mitchell's episode, when we do things like that, when we book these trips, when we book these times when we kind of put ourselves outside of our comfort zone, it forces us to show up in a different way prior to the thing or after the thing. So that we actually can make up for the investment we made. We step up into a higher power. You would not step up to the person who would be able to plan that vacation if you didn't plan that vacation in the first place, just wouldn't. So sign yourself up for things that scare you a little bit, because it will force you to step up into that person. That's a great way to be it till you see it. I mean, don't just scare yourself all the time into being like till you see it, but it is an option. It's an option. So I'm super, super excited that I said that I, like, made sure that this happened, and I planned this as far in advance as I did. Because, trust me, there's a few times like, Oh, my god, am I doing the right thing, like, I'm gonna need more than one, two days at home before I leave again, and it's like, no, absolutely it's gonna be the right thing. It's gonna be the absolute right thing. And yes, there's all these reasons why it might not be the right thing, but I actually don't have to focus on those, because I can just trust that it's the right thing to do and I'm in the right place I need to be. 

Lesley Logan 5:44  

So here is your mantra. Let's see. I just pull this out at random. So what do we have? I have everything I need to succeed. I have everything I need to succeed. My dear, you have everything you need to succeed. I have everything I need to succeed. Let's say it together. I have everything I need to succeed. Yeah, you do. Go have an amazing Fuck Yeah Friday. Make sure you celebrate your wins, if not with me, with someone that you know, and send this to them, let them know what's an FYF. Because what's so fun is when I know that people are doing FYFs all over the place. I know I have teachers who graduated from my programs who do with their clients on Fridays. Like, I absolutely love this. This is the best thing that can be contagious. So until next time you guys, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 6:24  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 7:07  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 7:12  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 7:16  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 7:23  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 7:26  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

How can you address mental health challenges and improve your workplace environment? Join Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell as they explore Melissa Doman’s expert strategies for navigating workplace dynamics with radical candor and effective communication. Learn why taking action is crucial and discover your options for creating a healthier work setting in today's recap episode.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to address workplace bullies with direct communication strategies.
• The benefits of asking for help and using support networks effectively.
• Steps to translate awareness of mental health issues into concrete actions.
• How to use radical candor to enhance workplace communication.
• Implementing actionable steps to drive systemic change in your organization.

Episode References/Links:

• Melissa Doman Episode 409
• Melissa Doman Website
• Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work by Melissa Doman
• eLevate Mentorship Program
• Cambodia February 2025 Retreat
• OPC Website
• 40 Days of 40 - OPC Website
• Profitable Business Accelerator Program
• Radical Candor by Kims Scott
• Kareen Walsh Episode 397

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Learning, listening, understanding mental health at the workplace, and the things that you can do around radical candor is all really, really good stuff. But then you need to take a piece of that and break it down into an action that you can take because otherwise it's just a bunch of information. And if you put yourself into a place where it's like, I have to make this big dent, then that's probably also not going to happen because systemic change takes time. It just does. 

Lesley Logan 0:24  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:05  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the supportive convo I had with Melissa Doman in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, you are missing out. You're missing out. You missed out on a very fun conversation. She's one of those guests I had to bring back because I've been watching her be it till she sees it and her business and life just growing before our eyes. And it's really fun to have those guests back. So if you haven't listened to episode from 103, 300 episodes ago, you should also listen to that one. But first, let's talk about today. Today is August 22nd 2024 and it's Never Bean Better Day. About this day. Never Bean B-E-A-N Better Day is on August 22nd, it gives us the perfect opportunity to enjoy and spread some bean 

Brad Crowell 1:54  

Wuv.

Lesley Logan 1:55  

Wuv.

Brad Crowell 1:56  

W-U-V wuv. 

Lesley Logan 1:57  

Wuv with our canine companions and others. 

Brad Crowell 2:00  

Do you love me? 

Lesley Logan 2:02  

Yeah. But what's the bean for? 

Brad Crowell 2:03  

I don't know yet. 

Lesley Logan 2:04  

By loving us unconditionally to being our listening ears and cuddle buddies, our furry friends have always upheld their reputable position as women's best friend, may I add, and are ever ready to be our lifelong companions registered therapy dogs like Bean, oh

Brad Crowell 2:18  

Bean is the example dog today. 

Lesley Logan 2:20  

Okay, okay, share their wuv at hospitals, schools, reading programs, behavioral therapy, group sessions, domestic violence, homeless shelters, long-term care, Alzheimer's units and anyone else in need of an emotional facelift. Interesting choice of words. Yeah, so, I guess Bean.

Brad Crowell 2:37  

I'm pretty sure this should be never by own better day.

Lesley Logan 2:41  

I know. How's that? How does that work? Bean day. 

Brad Crowell 2:46  

Bean is the name of the dog. So it's never by own better day.

Lesley Logan 2:50  

Yeah. What's never for? 

Brad Crowell 2:53  

Never been better, Never been better. Never Bean better, is the plan of words. We're changing it to never by. Okay. Now I'm explaining the joke. 

Lesley Logan 3:02  

Well, you know what guys, not every one of these days can make sense. So, you know.

Brad Crowell 3:07  

Well, it's about emotional support dogs and dogs that go in hospitals and stuff like that. We're big, big fans of canines in general, as you all know.

Lesley Logan 3:16  

Oh yeah, you know, you can get a dog that can tell if you need insulin, or can tell if you need a different vitamin, like you can train these dogs.

Brad Crowell 3:24  

Or if you're having a seizure. 

Lesley Logan 3:25  

Yeah, you guys, there's so many of these dogs around now, and also, there's so many different organizations that could help if you don't have the funds to access one of these dogs on your own. Like, it's worth advocating for yourself and finding someone who's literally raising money to do this and give it to you. So you know, know that if you have a friend in need. Okay, so.

Brad Crowell 3:42  

You got a friend in me. 

Lesley Logan 3:44  

In case you had it on your bingo card. Bean day, I don't think you get much out of this. Keep singing while I do the upcoming events and travel. Okay, you guys. So eLevate applications.

Brad Crowell 3:57  

Oh, actually, today, the 22nd, we're what? We're in L.A. We're heading to L.A. right now. We're driving. 

Lesley Logan 4:01  

We're on our way to L.A. today. 

Brad Crowell 4:02  

We're driving to L.A. 

Lesley Logan 4:03  

Yes, we're going, I'm working with my mentors for the weekend. It's actually like my little Pilates vacation for me after the tour. So there was an opportunity to teach, and I said, thank you. I feel so seen and I would like to be a student because I all have, I've just been teaching, so I'm going to do that. So I may be with my mentor, but what's really fun is that I can tell you about my mentorship program. And my mentorship program is for teachers, and it is a really fun program going into our fifth round next year, and you can still apply. And also, Brad, like, loaded up, some awesome things you can get if you like, sign yourself up. So if you have questions about it, you'll actually get all those questions pretty much answered at lesleylogan.co/elevate. You can also take a fun class with us. You can hear from past eLevate members. And also you should know that when you do graduate, it's not over. I don't go see ya. Never want to see you again. 

Brad Crowell 4:57  

Wouldn't want to be yah. 

Lesley Logan 4:58  

You actually joined the alumni group and we do fun retreats together. So that's for you. That's eLevate, lesleylogan.co/elevate. Cambodia retreat. Holy freaking moly, it's August. That means we are so close to going to Cambodia for fall. But you can't come to that one because it's sold out. But you can come to the February one. 

Brad Crowell 5:16  

Six months from now. 

Lesley Logan 5:16  

Yes, six months. 

Brad Crowell 5:17  

There's still six months. Actually, it's literally the 23rd to the 28th of Feb. So six months and a day, 

Lesley Logan 5:23  

Six months and a day. 

Brad Crowell 5:24  

From now, we're gonna be back in Cambodia. The time of recording this, there's still room to join us. So.

Lesley Logan 5:29  

And you know what? It's not too late, because really the best time to buy a flight is like three to four months before. So truly, this is the best time to sign up and snag your spot go to crowsnestretreats.com. That is crows with a S and nest with an S in the middle, and retreats with an S at the end. So. 

Brad Crowell 5:50  

Thanks. 

Lesley Logan 5:51  

Two words are plural. One's not. There you go. It's a dot com on that one. Try out OPC. You guys, do you know that OPC was made for you? I just did a really fun interview where someone was asking me about, how does OPC help people ditch perfection and also prioritize themselves first and have some self-care? And I was like, oh, because you're not supposed to be perfect when you do Pilates. You're supposed to just be in practice and we constantly remind you of that in every single class, while also providing tips and ways that you can get more depth and more out of an exercise, and then reminding you that if an exercise is not right for you yet, you get to do something that is and so even if you go to a studio already, did you know that you could also be an OPC member? That's right, you could go somewhere else and still do OPC with us on your other days.

Brad Crowell 6:38  

Wait a minute. Are you saying two things can happen at the same time?

Lesley Logan 6:42  

I am, I am, and so if you want to try us out, go to opc.me/40.

Brad Crowell 6:49  

Yeah and I have been kicking off another webinar here from Profitable Pilates, all about if you're feeling stuck with your money in your business, whether you're a super, super small business, or you have a brick and mortar with a full team. If you're feeling stuck with your money, come join me for a free upcoming webinar called the Accelerator program, studio business growth accelerator, go to P-R-F-I-T dot biz slash accelerator. Get yourself signed up. It's totally free, prfit.biz/accelerator. 

Lesley Logan 7:21  

Profit without the O. 

Brad Crowell 7:22  

That's right. Profit without the O. Thanks for saying that. 

Lesley Logan 7:24  

Biz with an I-Z. there. 

Brad Crowell 7:26  

(Inaudible).There, that's right, B-I-Zed. 

Lesley Logan 7:29  

Yeah. And accelerator is how you spell it. But you know, sometimes you forget how many C's are in there. So just (inaudible) 

Brad Crowell 7:35  

There's 27 C's in there. 

Lesley Logan 7:37  

Shut up. Before we get into it with Melissa Doman, what's our audience question to answer this week?

Brad Crowell 7:45  

YouTube Pilates with L said Lesley, I am dead keen to do eLevate. I'm so interested in learning more about classical Pilates. I feel so amazing to finally feel like I'm getting it. How I wonder, did Joe work with injured clients, especially when supine or loaded flexion was contraindicated? There's a lot of big words.

Lesley Logan 8:06  

Yeah and I like the dead keen. I think that 

Brad Crowell 8:08  

Dead keen. I'm dead keen.

Lesley Logan 8:10  

Why don't we say that in the States, I'm dead keen.

Brad Crowell 8:12  

Keen K-E-E-N.

Lesley Logan 8:13  

It would just turn and now the kids would just call it DK, I'm DK. Yeah. Okay. So here's the deal. I love how in eLevate, we actually get to explore how Joseph Pilates worked with contraindications inside the group, just based on the people who come because

Brad Crowell 8:28  

What is a contraindication? 

Lesley Logan 8:30  

Oh, like, if you have a fusion in your back, then it is contraindicated to do flexion. Or, like, it's like, it's not, it's a no-no. That's what, you see, it's a no no. It's like, if you take a medication, there's other medications that we like contraindicated. So like, it's a no-no to do this with that. So for example, she is saying, like, supine or with loaded flexion. So let me just say, in eLevate. I don't go over like, contraindication by contraindication and (inaudible) because that would take years. And that's like, there are specialties.

Brad Crowell 9:06  

I have. 28 teeth. Are there any Pilates things that can't do

Lesley Logan 9:11  

Okay. Nothing's contraindicated with that. You can do all the exercises. 

Lesley Logan 9:14  

26?

Lesley Logan 9:14  

All of them, still can, still can. 

Brad Crowell 9:16  

Three?

Lesley Logan 9:17  

Yeah, you might all three struggle with the towel exercise. I'm just gonna be honest, you might need more than three. Depends on where the three are. So, just so you know, in eLevate with all the teachers I do go over how Joseph Pilates thought about his work, that was that he that he shared, and how he taught it to people. And that will include going over things that are contraindicated based on what you ask and also the people in the group. And then what's cool is, when you graduate, we still talk about it. Someone just had someone come in who is actually paralyzed from the waist down. And so it's like, okay, what can I do with this person? Here's what I've done. Is there anything I'm missing? And so to answer your question, What did Joe do? Just like, real quickly, he avoided the things you're not supposed to. Just didn't do it. We don't have to fix people, you guys. And also, for those who are not teachers, like your Pilates instructor, should never tell you that they could fix you. And if they did, that's a red flag. What we are here to do is balance your imbalances, and when you balance your imbalances, what ends up happening is you have fewer aches and pains. Right now. As we record this, we're about to go to a chiropractor. My left hip is out of alignment. I can tell you that right now. And so I am feeling–because I fell–I'm feeling aches and pains in my body so when I move, there are just some limitations that I have. If I were to go see Joe, he's not gonna be like, oh, let me work on this left hip of yours. No, that's out of our scope. We're not PT, unless you are. So what he would instead do is work on the imbalances. And what is really cool is I did Pilates today with this out of the line with my hip, and I had way less pain throughout the day today than I did yesterday when I had my fall. Here's the deal. It's not that Pilates completely put it back together, but it balanced some imbalances that were causing that issue. And so that's our goal, and that's what Joseph Pilates would do. And eventually, over time, some of those aches, pains, injuries just go away. Sometimes you need extra help and other things, Pilates is not magic, but Joseph Pilates would not zero in on your little issue on your right pinky toe and, like, work it to death. He would work everything else. 

Brad Crowell 11:13  

Do you believe it's magic? 

Lesley Logan 11:15  

Yeah. And then also, you guys, I help you have the confidence to do that with your clients, I give you like the goal of eLevate is to help you see someone's imbalances, see someone's ache and pain, and actually trust the process and choose the right exercises for them. So that's what you do at eLevate. So if you're keen on that, you should sign up. 

Brad Crowell 11:33  

If you're dead keen. 

Lesley Logan 11:34  

If you're dead keen.

Brad Crowell 11:35  

That's right. 

Lesley Logan 11:35  

And if and for the rest of you like seriously when it comes to Pilates, make sure your teacher is not like, micromanaging your right pinky toe. You've got other toes, so there's other parts of your body. You should be moving. We're about to do a YouTube video on this, and I'm like, there's no principles because you're just supposed to move. We have to be moving our bodies. If your Pilates class is not moving you enough, then you're in the wrong spot. So come to OPC. Okay, that was a bunch of shameless plugs. 

Lesley Logan 11:35  

If you have questions, contact us. Let us know your question and we will happily work it into the pod. Pleasantly surprised, maybe you'll end up here. All right, stick around. We'll be right back.

Lesley Logan 12:13  

Okay, now let's talk about Melissa Doman. She's an organizational psychologist, former clinical mental health therapist and author of Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work, Here's Why (And How to Do It Really Well). Melissa specializes in teaching businesses leaders and individuals how to have realistic and constructive conversations about mental health, team dynamics and communication in the workplace. She's also known for her open and approachable leadership style, drawing from her experience with challenging managers. She said you have to address people who are negatively affecting your mental health at work or being a bully. And this is interesting because I was just talking to this about this with our agency members because they've had a, there's a couple people who've had clients who, like, won't, don't want to pay the late cancelation, and they're bullying them like, you're not a considerate person if you're charging me for this late cancelation policy, like (inaudible) late cancel. And I was like, no, no, they're a bully. They're actually the asshole. You're not the asshole. You told them the rules, they signed, they agreed to the rule, and now they're bullying you to not follow your own rules. And I said, you have to be comfortable. 

Brad Crowell 13:16  

A.I.T.A. 

Lesley Logan 13:17  

Yeah, they are the asshole. And (inaudible) says this all the time, I've repeated this before in the podcast, "We have to be comfortable making people as uncomfortable as they are making us." You have to get comfortable making the person uncomfortable, right? So you don't have to make this person uncomfortable at work, but you have to address this person is making my work experience negative, and it's affecting my mental health and my ability to do my job. And when we try to bottle it up and we keep it to ourselves, it doesn't get better. And by the way, your work is probably the one that's going to suffer, and then also you're going to get in trouble for suffered work and be like this person's been bullying me. That's too late now. It's too late to say that. You should have said that before. 

Brad Crowell 13:56  

Yeah, she actually has a phrase. You'll have to go back and listen to her episode to actually get that phrase. She did, however, the high level overview of it was to pull them aside and say hey, I just need you to know how this is affecting me. You know how what you're doing and how you're doing is affecting me. She said this is really direct and pretty challenging, I acknowledge that. But sometimes it's necessary, it's needed, and it's going to help you stand up for yourself. You're going to feel better about yourself, the whole thing. 

Lesley Logan 14:32  

Yeah, so we have a transcript so you can actually, like, copy paste and like, memorize that to have those conversations. But y'all, if you are working around someone who's affecting your mental health at work, you actually do have the right to say that this is happening. And if you're not feeling heard or supported by your superiors, then don't let people tell you that there's no good jobs out there. I have a client who constantly says how much she hates her job. And she's like, well, I'm not going to leave because the economy is bad. You guys, there are so many jobs out there and employers are doing everything they can to keep the employees they have. You need to know this. They're, like, really, like, they're, what other benefits can we throw at people so they stay in this job? So just trust that you are actually worth what you do. And there are people that need you out there, and there's awesome things you don't have to put up with it. We have a girlfriend who was absolutely being abused by her team at work, and when she finally said something, I'm gonna be out, she waited a long time, so when she finally said something, then they said oh well, she did this to me. And now and then, nothing got solved. Got this, like it sounds stupid, but you gotta say things when they first happen, because it doesn't get easier, it doesn't get better, right? And then by the time you feel like, oh my god, I'm at the end of my rope, I'm gonna say something. It's almost like there's nothing that they can actually do that's gonna make it better. You know, so, so stand up for yourself. 

Brad Crowell 15:53  

Yeah and also, you know, some companies have an HR team, you can also talk to them. In this case, she's talking about directly with radical candor, approaching the person who's affecting you, and she said it also like her example in the episode wasn't necessarily about someone who's abusing you, but someone who says they're going to do something and is late, someone who doesn't actually finish the job, or is passing their work off onto you, or something like that.

Lesley Logan 16:21  

Yeah, all that is not fun for your mental health either. 

Brad Crowell 16:25  

It is not. 

Lesley Logan 16:26  

And by the way, Radical Candor is a book you should read it. It's really good.

Brad Crowell 16:30  

Yeah, okay, so I really enjoyed what she was talking about–asking for help. It's good to ask for help. She said, It doesn't matter how much of a badass you are trying to be. Everybody needs support, and this is a really difficult thing for small business owners–and myself included–definitely understand this, you know, the way that I was raised is it's a do it yourself world and you can do it all. And you should do it all because you have no money. Can't pay someone to do it for you anyway. So you should just figure it all out on your own. And so, I took that approach from childhood all the way into everything that I ever did from music into running companies. And the end of the day, it just eats more of your time and you don't ultimately have enough capacity to do all the things that need to happen and you end up being a bottleneck. So it doesn't matter how much of a badass you're trying to be. Everybody needs support. In her case, she said her husband very directly challenged her and said, "Okay, you no longer have the option to do all this stuff because it's now affecting me, and you have to have help. So we're going to find you an executive assistant who can support you." At first she was really reticent to pass things over, to relinquish control. But now she's like, how do I get this off my plate? Right? It's completely changed her approach to everything, because she's starting to see how well, maybe smoother, things can run for her company. It was one of the things that changed our business dramatically was when I realized that years in, I was still being the bottleneck, and then from there, when we shifted that, when I started to try to get out of these things that I had taken away from everybody else and was still doing, it actually allowed things to flow much more smoothly. It's a little bit counterintuitive at first, but it's also ego, you know, oh, I'm the only one that can do this part of it, whatever. 

Lesley Logan 18:24  

I've mentioned this on the pod, and we have had four other episodes I've mentioned it, but like, if you watch the end of My Cousin Vinny, when he finds out that Marisa Tomei's character called in someone called him the judge from New York to, like, verify and validate the type of lawyer that he was, in, you know, his first case, and he got so mad at her. He's like, I wanted to win my case by myself. I wanted to win my first case by myself. And she's like, what if you won all of your cases, all of your cases, and at the end, you had to say, thank you. Oh my god, what a nightmare. And so that was just a really interesting thing that, like, whenever we're trying to do something ourselves, and you have you, like, actually ask for help, people are not gonna go, oh my god, LL asked for help. They're gonna remember, wow, it was so fun to be on LL's team to create this thing, I could be part of this creation. And then she said, thank you. Like, it's all it's like, these are amazing, amazing things. And so we have to just remember that asking for help is not actually about you. It's about sharing and it's actually about taking other people and saying hi, I see you as someone who can do this thing that I really want to do and I want to show my team. And it's actually really fucking cool. Anyways.

Brad Crowell 19:43  

Yeah, stick around. We're gonna cover those, Be It Action Items next. 

Brad Crowell 19:46  

So let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What are the bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items that we could take away from your convo with Melissa Doman? All right, she said, "Hey, people take things the wrong way." Which is why it is so important to be super clear in your communication. We all interpret things based on our own experiences, usually, and so it's possible that someone said something to you, didn't know that they were touching a nerve, or vice versa, that you were maybe triggering something in them. She said before you're having a conversation with someone, usually about how they're affecting your mental health, she said it's important to self-reflect and ask what is it that I didn't like about this situation? She said that people can't read minds, obviously, so that's why clear communication is so necessary. Explain what's going on for you in this scenario, state what you want the others to do or not do with the information. Hey, now that I'm telling you this information, what would be really helpful for me is x, or it would really change things if you did x, right? Then highlight why you're bringing it up to them, deciding the most important things to tell them, so they don't get lost in the detail. So just go high level, right? They don't need a 10-year backstory. You could probably just say this is really affecting me because of some past history that I had, and just leave it at that, and then go on to explain what it is that they're doing and then how it's affecting you and what you would like them to do instead. And she said just avoid over complicating the conversation. She was sharing a story about her challenging the head of HR. She was brought in for a consulting job, and it was a short term gig. She's, I don't know, maybe she was with this company for a few months, or whatever, and everyone was treating her like an outsider in a really negative way. And she was working for the HR team, and she ended up finally challenging the head of HR and saying hey, do you see what you're doing here? This is super uncool, and I don't like it, and it's not fair to me, and I know I'm not part of the team the way that you guys are, but I'm still here to do a job, and this is what's coming across. So she said that's really hard to do. She's willing to be challenging that way, because she's taught herself how to do it over time, you know,. so.

Lesley Logan 22:04  

I love how she laid this out, because you could be either party in this scenario, but truly, like we had, I had someone come up to me and tell me something, but would give me zero specifics, none. So not even high level, just like, just generics about how we made her feel. And I said, okay, can you give me an example? I don't want to get into it. Okay, well, how would you like me to solve this problem? I don't know. And it's like, so here's the thing, there are assholes out there, but most people are not assholes, and they don't want you to feel bad at work. They don't want to be negatively impacting you. So I love this example because she actually says, how, what to say, explain what's going on for you, and state what you want others to do or not do. And then that way they can actually go, okay, let me think, how do we make this work? Here's how we can do this. I appreciate, like I, people are not mind readers, nor can they also, if the thing that they were doing with no negative intention cause negative impact, you then want them to create another thing that could maybe, like, it's important to kind of know, and that requires all of us to have a little bit more self-awareness and to go inward. Because, again, there are dicks out there, but not everyone is walking around wanting to trigger people or wanting to activate something in people. Most people want you to be the best version of yourself that's out there. 

Brad Crowell 23:20  

Yeah. Well, what about you?

Lesley Logan 23:21  

So she said, when it comes to mental health at work, awareness is great, action is better. 

Brad Crowell 23:26  

Awareness is great action is better. 

Lesley Logan 23:28  

And you know what? We actually talked about that with Kareen's thing. She's like, manifestation is great, but you gotta take action on it. So hello, action. It's in our intro of the episode. So she talked about like, it's one thing to have the intention to do it, but it's another thing to create the impact and so and she also stressed that, like, you might not be living a big dent, but any dent is helpful. So what does this all mean? It means learning, listening, understanding, mental health, the workplace and the things that you can do–radical candor is all really, really good stuff–but then you need to take a piece of that and break it down into an action that you can take, because otherwise it's just a bunch of information. And if you put yourself into a place where it's like I have to make this big dent, then that's probably also not gonna happen, because systemic change takes time, just does. So if you have a business, or you're working at a company, and there's been something that's going on for a really long time, like just because they're made aware doesn't mean that you just made a thing that happens. So we've got to really do what we can to make the dents we need to, because over time, a dent can get bigger and bigger and bigger if we just keep working at it. So I really like that, because it's one thing for you to listen to this and be inspired by it, but you also, you know, taking action is always gonna be better. 

Brad Crowell 24:38  

Action brings clarity. 

Lesley Logan 24:39  

And it's the antidote to fear. You guys, I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 24:42  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 24:43  

Thank you so much for listening to this episode today. You want action you can take after becoming aware? You can share this episode with your friend. 

Brad Crowell 24:50  

We're gonna ask you what action to take right now? 

Lesley Logan 24:52  

Right now (inaudible) guess if you wonder we're not gonna tell you exactly what would make this better. What would make this relationship better between you and me? Would be, if you share this with a friend. 

Brad Crowell 25:01  

That's right. 

Lesley Logan 25:01  

Share this. You could text it to them. You could, like, grab their phone and look for it for them, there's so many different ways you can listen to this episode. It could be on the OPC app. It could be on Apple, Spotify, you name it. 

Brad Crowell 25:11  

You could text it to them every single day. 

Lesley Logan 25:13  

You could, you could do that. You want to know what I get text every single day from campaigns so they clearly have no shame. You shouldn't either. All right, loves, until next time. Be It Till You See It. 

Brad Crowell 25:26  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 25:28  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 26:10  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 26:15  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 26:20  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 26:27  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 26:30  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan sits down with Melissa Doman, an organizational psychologist and author of Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work, to discuss the importance of open dialogues about mental health in the workplace. They explore how to approach difficult conversations, the power of vulnerability, and actionable steps for fostering a supportive work environment.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How companies are embracing mental health discussions.
• Advice for handling negative workplace dynamics.
• Ways to use specificity to solve workplace challenges.
• How intentions and impacts can differ in interactions.
• Insights from meeting Radical Candor author Kim Scott.
• The benefits of receiving and asking for support.
• Awareness vs. action in mental health conversations.

Episode References/Links:

• Melissa Doman Website
• Melissa Doman LinkedIn
• Melissa Doman Instagram
• Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work by Melissa Doman
• Radical Candor by Kims Scott (Updated Edition)
• OPC Website
• OPC Perks

Guest Bio:

Organizational Psychologist, Former Mental Health Therapist, & Author. Melissa Doman, MA is an ​​Organizational Psychologist, Former Clinical Mental Health Therapist, & Author of Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work (Here’s Why And How To Do It Really Well). Melissa works with companies across industries around the globe – including clients like Google, Dow Jones, the Orlando City Soccer Club, Microsoft, Salesforce, Siemens, Estée Lauder, & Janssen. She’s spoken at SXSW and has been featured as a subject matter expert in Vogue, NPR, the BBC, CNBC, Inc., and in LinkedIn’s 2022 Top 10 Voices on Mental Health. Having lived abroad in South Korea, England, Australia and traveled to 45+ countries, Melissa calls upon her global experiences to inform how she works with companies around the world. She has one core goal: to equip companies, individuals, and leaders to have constructive conversations about mental health, team dynamics, and communication in the workplace. Her work and book aim to accomplish just that.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Melissa Doman 0:00  

People take things the wrong way and people have triggers and people have sensitivity. So it is a two-way street. So if someone is impacting your mental health, it's also helpful to think about, wait a minute, how much of this is my stuff and how much of this is them? Because when people activate things in us, it's not usually 100% them, some of it, it is our stuff to a degree.

Lesley Logan 0:26  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babe. This interview today is one of my dear, lovely women in my life. I'm so grateful that I got to meet her. So grateful I reached out to meet her like, please, you guys, reach out to people who inspire you and tell them. Like and we have an amazing story about that in this episode, actually. But that is how I met Mel is because I heard her on another podcast. I was like I want you on mine. She said yes. And then we met in person. And while you'll hear that, physically, you know sparkles and glitter didn't come parting out of us. I felt them. So today I have a guest back. She's been on the show before. And she's an incredible author, and we'll talk about her book Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health At Work and why you should. And we also talk a little bit how you can talk about it at work. And then what I'm excited for you to hear is also like two women sharing what it's like to grow in their business. And I know a lot of you are small business owners wanting to start new things and be working with other people. And I think it's so important that you know, everything is a work in progress. Everything takes a lot of time. A lot of people are doing things scared and doing the best they can and I hope that this really helps you see that you can do that, too. And you can be it till you see it. And it's not about being perfect. It's about learning. So here is Mel Doman. 

All right, Be It babe, this is gonna be an awesome wild interview. I'm just gonna say it right now, we're gonna have the best time Mel Doman is here. She's back. And she and I finally got to meet in real life. And it was a lunch that could have kept going in fact, I would definitely remember being late for my next call. So we are so excited that you're back, Mel, just in case anyone missed your first interview, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?

Melissa Doman 2:48  

Oh, I have been so looking forward to this. And when we got to meet up in person, I'm shocked that we didn't fart sparkles or something like that because it was just it was like a clashing of two galaxies. So I am Melissa Doman. I'm an organizational psychologist, former clinical mental health therapist and author of Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work: Here’s Why… and How to Do it Really Well. So I teach businesses, leaders and individuals how to have realistic and constructive conversations about mental health, team dynamics and communication in the workplace. My clients range from really large organizations like Estée Lauder, Dow Jones, Google to midsize organizations like Orlando City Soccer Club to small mom-and-pop companies and everything in between. And I do (inaudible) virtually, in person, keynotes facilitation, (inaudible) interviews, strategic advising and on a personal note, I do a very impressive Chewbacca impression. I do.

Lesley Logan 3:52  

Okay, Brad is gonna be upset if I don't ask you to do it though. You know, like

Melissa Doman 3:56  

It'll be your reward at the end. 

Lesley Logan 3:58  

I love it. You got to stay till the end, stay till the end. Okay, so this happened, we happen to be talking about what one of the things that you focus on all year long during the month of May which apparently is mental health month I did not know this because I don't live by the calendar as of like today is like dog mom day I don't I don't do although people are gonna laugh because every Thursday we do use the calendar. Okay, today is change your password day. Like we do do that on Thursdays guys, but I don't actually look at the month. And what I love about you is that you're like, not about companies only focus on mental health in May you're about them focus on it all the time. And since we last had you on, do you feel that companies are more open to talking about mental health or do you feel like it's, do you feel it's just it's the same as before and you're still kind of do you feel like you've made a dent? Or you know what I mean? Like where are we at in society?

Melissa Doman 4:53  

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. So I actually think it's a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B and here's why. It's entirely company-dependent, industry-dependent, and in some cases, team-dependent, because you might have a company that's super open about talking about mental health, but then you have some butthead leaders who are like, I'm not taking part of my chip. So there are some companies that really took the pandemic, as a serious kick in the butt to enable these conversations in a more sustainable way for a whole host of reasons. There are other companies that are like, well, we're in endemic status now, so we can stop check-boxing and go back to what we were doing before. So it's a little bit of both, I think it really depends very much on the ecosystem in which people work, however, on a very public plateau, and you know, looking outwardly seeing all the messaging that's coming out, Oh, my God, it's everywhere. It has come so far, in the past, gosh, six years since I started subspecializing in this, it's unbelievable. I even saw and I'm very conscious, I'm on a wellbeing-focused podcast, so please forgive me for the example I'm about to give, okay? McDonald's, put out an ad that for Mental Health Awareness Month, they're taking the smiley face off of the Happy Meal, because kids have a whole range of emotions, and you don't want to tell them how they're feeling. And I was like, Oh, my God, I never would have imagined seeing something like that. Yes, it seemed to children. But you never would have seen something like that 10 years ago.

Lesley Logan 6:40  

I'm shocked. 

Melissa Doman 6:41  

The Happy Meal. The Happy Meal.

Lesley Logan 6:44  

Yeah. It's called the Happy Meal.

Melissa Doman 6:46  

They took the smiley face off the box for the month of May. And I sat there, I was like, Oh, my God, this is unreal. And so you're seeing it way more in the public sphere, which is great. Some places it's performative. Absolutely. But you know, long, long story short, I think it really depends on who you're talking to, and where you're looking. 

Lesley Logan 7:08  

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm so happy to hear it's a little bit of calming, that's great. And I also think 

Melissa Doman 7:13  

Oh yes, I think making sure of it. 

Lesley Logan 7:15  

Yeah, I know, you have it. And I also think the honesty there that sometimes it is the people and I think that, you know, it can be person-dependent. And it can, yeah, that person can have such an effect on your ecosystem, your sphere of like where you're at. So you could be working for the company that has all the things and people, I don't know what they're called, people services, HR is like doing all this work to make sure everything is there. And then like, there's one person that's in front of you. And I feel like I might have talked about this a little bit on our first podcast episode together. But for the people listening who are working in a space where they feel like there's a person who's kind of affecting them being able to talk about mental health at work, do you have advice for them? Because I do think that's a be it till you see it kind of thing. You almost can't just like walk in and go, like, here vomit up all of the stuff that's going on to your mental health, but also like you also want to feel like you have the confidence and capabilities to share what you're feeling.

Melissa Doman 8:13  

Yeah. Well, I think it's a you know, there's two different questions in there. Because one is, you know, effectively talking about your mental health at work. The other one is letting someone else know when they're affecting your mental health at work.

Lesley Logan 8:27  

I don't think I've ever been able to, I think I don't work in corporate, I work for myself, because I don't know that I would be able to do the second one. Like tell the person you're affecting my mental health. 

Melissa Doman 8:35  

Oh, I might have done exactly that at a job I had. Would you like to hear the tale? 

Lesley Logan 8:41  

Yeah, let's do. People like, we like stories here. 

Melissa Doman 8:43  

Oh, yes. So a boss I had before I went out on my own. And I was doing a temporary cover position for someone who's out on leave for a while. And that person who I was covering for was amazing, very good at their job. I was also good at that job. And I did it just a little bit differently. And people received it differently and in a positive way. So that person's boss looked at me very much as a placeholder to make sure to, you know, feel that I was not welcome, we'll say, and kind of resented the fact that I did very well and went out of their way to you know, sabotage me and just make sure that they told me and that I wasn't welcomed in this place, despite the success I was having. And it got really bad to the point where this person would, you know, sabotage actively like workshops I was doing trying to trip me up stuff like that. And one day, I just had enough. And I kept trying to win this person over with kindness that didn't work. And so they saw my face after one of the sessions. And I'm the woman of a thousand faces. So they said, "Are you okay?" I said, "Nope." They said, "Do you need to talk?" I said, "That would be great." And so we go into a private room. And I said, "You negatively affect my mental health at and outside of work." To which they said, "Well, what's your proof?" That was their, that was their response. I was like, Oh, my God. And I said, "Me telling you is the proof. It is the proof. I understand that you don't want me here. I understand that my contract is temporary. That doesn't mean you get an excuse to treat me poorly, sabotage me, make me feel unwelcome. You, you don't need to, like love on me like you do the rest of your team. But you need to treat me with respect. And for the remainder of my contract here. I am not going to put up with this anymore. And shame on you." This is the head of HR, by the way. I said, "Shame on you for being in a people-focused role and doing this to me." And she was floored. She was like, well, you know, just like they all do. Now listen, folks, I am more direct than most. And I realized that it was a temporary contract. And I was like, consequences be damned. But you have to be able to address people who are negatively affecting your mental health at work or dare I say being a bully. Is there a risk to addressing that? Absolutely. Absolutely there's risks. Do I recommend doing it like balls to the wall like I did? Probably not. That came from a place of desperation. But if someone is negatively impacting your mental health at work, and I know this is much tougher if it's a boss versus a colleague, so let's do an easier example, colleague, you may not want to be so on the nose. But let's say this person is like stressing you out, not communicating in an effective way, not getting stuff done, you know, whatever the reason is, it might be something that sounds like, I feel it's really important for our working relationship for me to tell you the impact that you've been having on me at work, and also how I work. I've been trying to do ABCDEFG, it's often met with XYZ. I want us to have a good functional relationship. But I experience you as making that very difficult for me. And I know this is a hard conversation, but I want to have it. So we can try and work this out. Are you open to this feedback, because we can't continue this way. Now, again, that's very, very direct. And a lot of people they don't they don't like direct feedback, even when you use radical candor, when you're, you know, giving feedback with care. And so the alternative is saying nothing, letting that person continue to do what they're doing without consequence and then your mental health goes into a ditch. So it really needs to be addressed. I'm a big fan of making sure people know that intention and impact are not the same thing.

Lesley Logan 13:20  

Okay, well, I want to touch on that. And I also just to say like, while it feels it can be direct actually thought that your example was quite specific. And you guys, if you go to the show notes, you can just take that little transcript part and insert ABCD as what they are and XYZ as what they are. Because here's why. Here's why I think that it can be very helpful. If you, too often, instead of being direct, we do the opposite of like, you know, you make me like feel like this. And there's and it's been, you know, for a while, and if you're not specific about what the feeling is, and when it happened, people are less likely to take you seriously or to take it seriously. Because they're 

Melissa Doman 14:01  

And to ask for a different solution. Some of these people are asking for solution. 

Lesley Logan 14:07  

Yeah. So I think like, if you, if you are someone who needs this, like, take that little sentence there, (inaudible) big sentence, and just try to fill in the blanks there and then use your own words. But I do know that specificity actually makes people at least listen to the conversation whether or not they choose to react to it or play along. And then if it is a colleague versus a boss, and when you go to your boss, you can say this is what I said, which is has all the specific moments of how you felt or how you're made to feel and then the instances that happen and people your boss can also take that seriously and understand exactly when the evidence when the things happen. And I think that's really, really important.

Melissa Doman 14:48  

Well, also coming to the table saying, you know, these things are making me unhappy. But I want to invite a conversation to try to work this out where there could be in some cases that people have no idea that they are impacting that way, there are some people who are really dense and they're like, oh my God, I had no idea. And then there's other people who will not even consider the feedback and be like, thanks for stopping by. But it doesn't mean that, you know, just because it's a hard conversation doesn't mean it's a worthy one.

Lesley Logan 15:15  

Do you remember? I just have to like side note, did you hear about the women who found out that they were all dating Huberman at the same time, and they all approached him and his 

Melissa Doman 15:26  

Dating who?

Lesley Logan 15:27  

Huberman the podcast, or the health podcast, or the Stanford doc like the Stanford scientist, whatever, researcher, so. 

Melissa Doman 15:35  

What is this? 

Lesley Logan 15:36  

Okay, go down the rabbit hole, I promise you, it's everything. So you know, he's living with one woman and going through fertility with her, treatments with her. And then there was other women. And look, it sounds like maybe no one had actually had a conversation that they were in an actual monogamous relationship. So but they and they never came forward with their names. They actually came forward as a group to him and just said, hey, we found out we're all dating you like, you know, this thing. And his response was, thank you for your feedback.

Melissa Doman 16:11  

That makes me so sad. I love listening to him.

Lesley Logan 16:15  

I know I'm so sorry. 

Melissa Doman 16:18  

Oh, no. 

Lesley Logan 16:18  

I know. I'm so sorry. 

Melissa Doman 16:20  

When did this happen? 

Lesley Logan 16:21  

Early. So you guys, this is May. So I think like I want to say February, March, it came out. Oh my god, but he hasn't responded at all. He's like doing the non-response. He's doing the no response. So in your example, like he just saw, he's like, no, no, like, just gonna keep going with life as a (inaudible). It's really, it's actually a very interesting, like, observation of people.

Melissa Doman 16:46  

That makes me feel so achy. I'm so sad to hear that. 

Lesley Logan 16:49  

So sorry. I'm so sorry. Because he has really good information. Yeah, but. 

Melissa Doman 16:53  

It's the truth. 

Lesley Logan 16:54  

And then we have to just decide, like, you know, are we listening for the information? Or do we care about the person but, anyways, (inaudible) I wanted, Brad's gonna be rolling his eyes once he hears this. 

Melissa Doman 17:04  

I can't wait to look this up. 

Lesley Logan 17:05  

I know. It's a worthy read. So, you mentioned intention and impact are different things. Can we expand on (inaudible)? 

Melissa Doman 17:14  

Yes. I mean, what, gosh, what's that old crappy adage is like the road to hell is paved with good intentions, stuff like that. I say that is, you know, as an atheist who doesn't believe in that stuff. But so, the thing is that intention versus impact is really different. And if I want to, you know, keep it light for a minute, you know, for anybody who's in a committed relationship of any type, I call those the Greatest Hits fights. It wasn't what you said, it's how you said it. And then this is how it landed, you know, whatever. So the, and yes, people take things the wrong way. And people have triggers. And people have sensitivity. So it is a two-way street. So if someone is impacting your mental health, it's also helpful to think about, wait a minute, how much of this is my stuff? And how much of this is them? Because when people activate things in us, it's not usually 100% them, some of it, it's our stuff to a degree. And so before having that conversation, I think you got to talk to yourself and be like, what is it I didn't like about this? Why don't, why don't I like it? Is it really them? Do I have some stuff I need to look at, you know, what, what's the most effective way to approach this? Because oftentimes, people will go to somebody who is like stressing them out or whatever. And though, you're stressing me out, like, from ABC, like, you have to stop. And then, but that's it, there's no, here's why I'm bringing this up. Here's what I would like, instead. You know, it's, it needs to be more, you know, how do we change this trajectory as opposed to let me give you a laundry list of, you know, a laundry list of reasons why you pissed me off, and you make me like mentally sick. So that's not really a helpful way to encourage dialogue.

Lesley Logan 19:08  

Yeah, 'cause also, then you're asking the person who is pissing you off or stressing you out to then come up with another way on their own to like, they would just be guessing. So like, it's which means they probably will do nothing, because like, you just get stuck. Like there's two, yeah, if you tell me 

Melissa Doman 19:26  

Or it's awkward. Yeah. If you're going to talk about your mental health, and this will go on to the other. The other question that you had, if you're going to talk about your mental health, whether it's someone who is disrupting it, or you're just struggling in general, no offense to folks who believe in clairvoyance, mind readers, mediums, people generally can't read your mind. So if you're going to be talking about your mental health, you have to tell people what's going on for you, what you want them to do with that information because if that's a very complex conversation, don't want to overcomplicate it if you don't have to. And so, most of the onus, when it comes to mental health conversations, especially at work, is on the listener, it's on the supporter. But I think if you're gonna go into that conversation, the sharer has some responsibility to do a little bit of backend prep first about the outcome that they're going for. 

Lesley Logan 20:19  

Yeah, I think that's, I think that's very fair and very wise. And also it allows, I think the one of the reasons I love doing the show and be until you see it is like acting as if you're the person you want to be. It requires us to be reflective of things and not just go and do the same thing over and over again, expecting it to be a different result. Like you have to act differently. And you have to do things differently. And what you're asking is, like, if something's bothering you, be reflective, like, why is that bother me? What is this bringing up? How does it make you feel? And what do I want instead? And you know, and so, because then if you can figure out what you want instead, people actually do want, like, they do want you to feel good, because if you feel good at work, then everyone's going to feel better than if you are

Melissa Doman 21:11  

I wish that was true for every person. 

Lesley Logan 21:14  

There's just some some assholes. Yes, that's true. Do you want to hear something? 

Melissa Doman 21:18  

And listen, I agree with you, generally speaking, people have some shred of empathy. I will never forget that someone said to me that their boss told them and I quote, unless someone is dying, I don't want to hear about your mental health. Verbatim. 

Lesley Logan 21:37  

So strange. Like the mental, it's so strange to me that people don't, you know, I also, here's the thing, like as a small business owner who tries very, very hard to be open to my teams need a Mental Health Day, sometimes you're like, so you want, you need a mental health day today? There's like, God, we got to work on a project. So I get it. And like part of me is like, okay, how do we make sure we have a, we pick deadlines, and we start them early enough that if anyone needs a mental health day, like it doesn't fuck the deadline, you know? So it's like, it's like the onus on me as a person who wants to be thoughtful of what if someone gets sick? What if this changes, you know, like, I've got a person on my team I know who wants to have a kid. So we're talking about things the next year, I'm like, that person might be pregnant. So like, if she's pregnant, how are we going to do that thing, just in case like, I want to, like think through and that requires sometimes a bigger team or longer timelines. So I do get as a business owner, how that can be frustrating. I do not get like not wanting to think about it all. Like, I feel like that is like you're just not gonna have a team who cares. They're gonna be there

Melissa Doman 22:42  

Oh girl. You don't want to hear some of the stories I've heard, the level of dispassionate-ness I'm sure I'm not saying, dispassion, maybe that's the right way to say it, the level of dispassion is shocking. Not to me, but in general, they absolutely exist. I just spoke to someone not long ago, who, when I said, oh you're, you know, you're a leader and you're in such an amazing position of visibility and influence to influence these conversations. And again, it can't just be leaders it has to be people from any tenure position, because we're all chronologically aged. It felt, the first thing they said, and they have over 100 people reporting to them. When I say oh, well, you're in such a great position. How cool is that? And they said, Well, you just have to be really careful and dot your, and dot your i's and cross your t's, because, immediately went to the liability lens. And I was like, yes, of course, that's a concern. Yes, these things can go south, but you, you're just not ready. You don't want to if that's the first place that your mind goes, or maybe you messed that up in the past and then went poorly. So now you're off of that sauce forever. And it's you just, you, unfortunately, can't assume and it makes me sad. 

Lesley Logan 24:08  

Yeah, it makes me sad because I like wish that their first thing was like, hey, I want it to be that, but here's what I'm worried about. Or here's what happened. Like, how do I like, like, I, you know, because like, it's not like it's been smooth sailing for like, everyone's gonna make mistakes, especially when it comes to like, especially when it actually does come to talk about mental health because at the same time as the person listening, you have your own I have my own mental health stuff, but you know, so then you're like, okay, now I'm going to take on your thing. Okay. Noted. Got it. Okay. Got it. Got to figure this out. But I think that's why I like your suggestion on how to talk about it. Because if someone came to me with like, here's what's bothering me, here's how I'm going. Here's what I want to happen. Even if I'm having not so great a mental health day I can go okay, cool. Let me take that. Let me think about it. Let me think of what I can do. You know, it doesn't feel like I'm being vomited up onto and then I've got to figure your shit out, plus my shit out.

Melissa Doman 25:08  

I have lost track, even after leaving clinical 10 years ago, when the number of people who go and my first question is, what would you like me to do with this information? Or, you know, how can I best help you? And they they start glitching? Because they didn't think of it. All they did was I just need to get this out. And I go well, great. But now what? So, it's, you know, I'm all about, I'm all about that good old fashioned vent. But, you know, even if you're gonna do that, tell someone I need to vent and then you know how to take the information? 

Lesley Logan 25:49  

Yeah, I think there's just, it's almost like awareness. We all need a little self-awareness around or laws (inaudible) intelligence on like, what is it that you need? And so I mean, like, with my, my husband always wants to fix things, right? When I tell him what's going on. He was like, I want to like, he'll often say, like, what do you want with this information? I'm like, okay, you're right. So now I just say, I don't want you to fix this. I just need to be fucking pissed off about this right now. And it'll be really great if he just like got pissed off with me.

Melissa Doman 26:19  

Like, I had the same conversation 

Lesley Logan 26:21  

Be mad at them with me. You know, because if, but I had to learn that because if you if you don't say those things, then they try to fix like, I want you to fix it like, and then they're just confused. 

Melissa Doman 26:33  

They don't know. 

Lesley Logan 26:33  

They don't know. And that's not just husbands. That's like, everyone in your life, people. So like preface what it is, it's event. I need, I have, I would like to talk about solutions. You know, I'm trying to figure out what I want. Like, you know, there's just different things. Yeah. We could talk forever. And but I, you actually brought up Radical Candor. And I think that's a great time for us to chat about, like, you met the author of Radical Candor.

Melissa Doman 26:58  

I did. i did. I have no chill. She was so cool about it. I can't remember if I told you this story. 

Lesley Logan 27:04  

You can just tell me again, because I want you to, I want you to share it. Because when you so we're going to talk a little bit about your like, like big, big girl business badass pants, like at South by Southwest and like what happened but like this story makes me smile. So it's a very be it it till you see it moment, guys. Here it is. 

Melissa Doman 27:23  

So I call Kim Scott, the queen of feedback. And I just love her Radical Candor model. That was you know, her first, her first book, The second book that just came out it's called Radical Respect. I'm like 60 pages in and I kept like, my neck was hurting I was nodding so much as I was reading it.

Lesley Logan 27:46  

Oh I'm behind on the times I need to get this book. 

Melissa Doman 27:49  

It just came, you know it just came out like a week ago, like a week ago, I got an advance reader copy at South by Southwest.

Lesley Logan 27:55  

Oh, check you out. 

Melissa Doman 27:57  

Well, she had a book signing, it wasn't just me. I would love to say that. But so speaking of South by Southwest, in March, and I had my keynotes and I was going to do my book signing later that day. And I saw that Kim Scott was there and I was like, oh my God. And so I unfortunately had to miss her session, but the session on book signing like an hour before mine. And so I got in line, and I was the first person in line. And I had her book in my hands. And I went up to the table. And just like in Wayne's World, I had no chill, and started moving my arms up and down and going, I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy. And I just was ridiculous. And she was so cool about it. And she's so sweet. And she signed my book. And we took a picture together, me and her and her book. And I had like the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. And I told her about what I do for work. And she's and I was doing my sign in an hour. And I said, you know, it would be the honor of my career if I could give you a copy of my book. You can totally say no, but I would kick myself if I didn't ask. And she said, yes, I would love a copy. Will you sign it? And I was like, oh, yes, Kim Scott, I will give you a copy of my book and sign it. And I was telling her how I use Radical Candor, a ton in my work on mental health at work. And she said, oh, you should come on my podcast. And I was like, for real? She's like, yeah, go talk to my manager. He's over there. So I'm currently scheduled to be on her podcast later this year. And I'm just shitting a brick with like, fear and excitement and sparkles like all at the same time because she, yeah, she's like, yeah.

Lesley Logan 29:56  

I don't even remember when I read Radical Candor, but I read it many years ago because I feel like it's not, it's been out for a while. But you know, there's those years of the pandemic that just all blur together. And I bought it because I had an assistant, and my husband, and one other person on the team, I'm like, I think I need to learn how to do this, I need to learn to talk to my team because I don't know. And I just really, I love her examples in that book. So I just, I'm so excited for you. It's so this is the coolest thing. I love it. Because like, first of all, I love that you actually, like, let yourself do that, because I think that is actually really cool. And probably why you got to even talk to her as long as you did. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you had just (inaudible). Like, I love your book, you know? Like, if you would just be like, and I have a book, it wouldn't have been as genuine like you're so genuine.

Melissa Doman 30:53  

Thanks, girl. Yeah, I actually have to give credit where credit is due my intern, who I will, she did such an amazing job, I'm going to be hiring her in a freelance capacity to do some other stuff. For me. She's amazing. She flew in all the way from Germany to support me at South by Southwest. And she ended up being like, my assistant handler, like, what do you need, like, whenever I was talking to people, like she had a copy of my book in her purse, I didn't tell her to do that. And she, when I was talking to this, like former NFL player, and I mentioned the book, she just popped out for my three o'clock, I was like, here's a copy. And I was like, oh, my God, she's the one. 

Lesley Logan 31:36  

New SOPs for all new speaking gigs, by the way, new standard procedures.

Melissa Doman 31:42  

She's the one to encourage me to offer a copy of my book to Kim. And I was like, no, I'm sure tons of people are gonna do that. Like, I don't want to be rude. I don't want to seem opportunistic. And she said, you're not because just be yourself. Just be yourself and offer it to her how you would do it to anybody else. And I was like, okay, so it was because of my intern who encouraged me to do it that I did it.

Lesley Logan 32:09  

I love that you had someone there to help you. I think we all. So just to talk about this. You were at South by Southwest, you spoke there you presented. And you, yes, she came out to support you. But like, we all need to actually admit that, like, it's actually okay for people to support us. And it's so good to have someone there. Whether it is an intern, or someone that you can say, hey, I just need you to be here because like there's a lot that goes on at events when you and if you are not the if you're not, if you're not just an attendee if you're also speaking at them, or you're also presenting or something like, it can be very difficult to keep it all you can kind of get like I'm in my head until my presentation, I got to do these things. And we kind of get you can get a little linear. Having someone who can be outside looking in and like spotting things and reminding you of things. It's so important to have those people. When my husband comes with me to events, we actually it is, they are always the best events because if I go out, when I go to Poland to speak by myself, I come back I'm like, so there was like three people I was supposed to talk to about. I don't know that I actually did it. Did I do that? Like it's a whirlwind? And so it's easy to forget things. And so to have someone there, it's so key. 

Melissa Doman 33:20  

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Having her change the entire experience for me. And every day, multiple times a day she goes, how can I support you? What do you need? How can I be helpful? There was even a moment because I was kicking myself for doing this, talk about a mental health panic. I was flying from Austin to Vegas, because then I spoke at a HR conference called transform, which is where you and I got to hang out. And so, not at the conference, but in Vegas. 

Lesley Logan 33:53  

Yeah, you guys. The listeners did not think I was at a HR conference. They. 

Melissa Doman 33:58  

No. So basically, I was like looking at my flight from Austin to Vegas. And I don't remember what happened. Because I think I got like it was heavily delayed or something like that. And I said, let me see if I can find a different flight In my stupidity I booked a flight for the next day, the wrong day. And then I tried to reverse it. And my seat was gone in under a minute. And I was panicking. And so she just come to my room from her hotel, and I was like, oh my god, I'm freaking out. And she goes, what can I do to help? We're gonna get this worked out. Just tell me and I was like, I'm so happy you're here. So she helped me and she like was doing other research. It all worked out fine. But you know, being a being a business of one. And now I'm at a business of like, five or six, and just remembering that, like I even opened up to so I mean, I realize, we, you and I've talked about this before, I feel I have the best assistant on the fucking planet. And I opened up to her the other day about some personal struggles I'm having and some other stuff that's going on. And she was so sweet. And she listened to me. And she, you know, we had a wonderful conversation. And she texted me actually later that night, and said, I'm really happy, we had a productive call, but I'm even more appreciative that you told me about the stuff that's going on. And like, my heart goes out to you, and I hope you're okay. And I was like, Oh, my God I love this person. It's good to ask for help. It doesn't matter. Like, how much of a badass, you know, you try to be, you know, everybody needs support. And I'm a huge, huge believer that it's a wonderful opportunity for people to support their boss, you know, managers support their team members. But I feel that's a two-way street. I really do. 

Lesley Logan 36:20  

Yeah, well, I think like, especially when it comes to, you guys, for assistance. If you have one, like I told my executive assistant, I'm like, your job is going to have some things in my personal life and some things that are business life. And so you're going to know more about me, than the project manager does or anyone else in the team, aside from my husband, because there's just going to be things that I'm going to need help on so that I can do my job the best. And that was so hard for me to learn. My first assistant had been an assistant for a long, long time, so she trained me on what an assistant can do.

Melissa Doman 36:58  

Oh, mine is training me. She's training me, 100%. 

Lesley Logan 37:00  

Totally, totally training me, like totally trained me. And she was so, so good at it. I was like, I was like, Can you do this? Can you do this? And she's like, it's my job. So you don't have to ask me if I can just, you actually can say, hey, here are the things I'd like you to do. And here's what I'd like them to be done by.

Melissa Doman 37:17  

Same conversation as mine. Oh my God. I literally sometimes have on my calendar. I'm not joking. I'll have like blocks with this do tasks for, her name is Alana, and I go do tasks for Alana and I told her I was like, I put my homework on my calendar to do my stuff for you. And she's like, you're ridiculous.

Lesley Logan 37:38  

I want to I want to say like, since you went from a business of one, and then now it's grown. And you obviously like your whole thing is like taught about mental health at work. How has that? What's the be it till you see it even doing to help yourself, like be the leader that you truly believe other people can be like, because I mean, like, you know what it is that you want to be like, was it easy to step into those shoes? Or did you find yourself taking your own homework?

Melissa Doman 38:06  

Oh, my God, being, being, okay, so hard. And I think that the best thing that I've been able to do, as I've been adding different folks to the team, now keep in mind, these folks are not full-time as a team of contractors, but they are my team. And I feel that what helped me transition best into that is admitting how novice I was. And basically saying, like, listen, I need to learn how to do this right. And so I'm gonna do the best that I think, but if there's anything I could do differently, I could do better, because I know they're coming from a good place. And so I always say like, please tell me, like, tell me what will help our relationship, what will help you succeed, etc. And so, for me, it was admitting how novice I truly was. And in some ways still am and how open to feedback that I want to be because I gosh, I had some terrible, terrible, terrible managers in my career. And that would be like a nightmare if I did something like that. And so yeah, that's it, admitting that I don't know how to do it all but that I'm trying to learn how to do it, you know, a little bit better a little bit more each day.

Lesley Logan 39:41  

I love that. That is awesome. I'm excited for you. You're gonna get, you're gonna get to do so many more things. Just so you know, because like, it's not easy to do it all yourself. There's like a lot of stuff that and by the way, like, there's a lot of times it's actually exhausting to do when you don't need to be the one that does it.

Melissa Doman 39:59  

Oh my god. I remember when I first started out with my assistant, that it was really because my business is my baby. And I work so hard, and I'm very detail-oriented. And it was really hard to find someone to trust. And they understood that, you know, they were like, okay, let's start with these low hanging fruit. We'll see how that goes, let's ease into it. And she really understood. And initially, because she, oh my god, she is like, amazing at the things I'm terrible at. So like process implementation, data management, you know, all these like, this, this core one-on-one set of things. I'm like, I don't want to do that. So she initially was so patient with me, because I fought it kicking and screaming, because I did everything like very manual. And now, I'm like, oh, my God, what, what can you take from me? And how do we do that? Because it's so nice to not have to worry and just have that complete trust in someone that she genuinely gives a shit. And that is so hard to find. 

Lesley Logan 41:01  

Yeah. And also, when you know, when you start to, like, let go of the things that actually take up more brain space, because it's not natural for you, then you actually can spend more time doing the things that do come natural and do like (inaudible) why you like doing it, which means more energy and excitement and more ideas. And you can go, you know, you can go further because you've got people to help you.

Melissa Doman 41:24  

Exactly. So I'm in that scaling mode now. And it's, I'm not gonna lie, scary. It's tough. But I also know I need to, and my husband, probably maybe a year ago, or something a little bit less. He had a come to Jesus conversation with me and was like, you cannot continue doing everything yourself. You have to start finding people that can take stuff off your plate, and that you can trust. And this is not negotiable. And I was like, oh, fine. And it was the best lecture. I didn't want and, and needed, so.

Lesley Logan 42:04  

I'm glad he did that. Because it meant you had this event at South by Southwest because if you're like, you know what I mean, you wouldn't have had that it wouldn't have happened. 

Melissa Doman 42:14  

The best part is when I have calls with my assistant, and my husband walks in and he goes, what are you talking about? And then Alana goes, we're talking about blah, blah. And so my husband's name is Matt, and she goes we're talking about blah, blah, and he goes oh fucking finally. He goes, I'm happy she's listening to you. (inaudible) You're ganging up against me (inaudible) there's two of them. 

Lesley Logan 42:40  

Matt's gonna start sending her a Slack message just like hey, by the way, there's these other three things since she brought those up we gotta put these on the timeline.

Melissa Doman 42:48  

When they hear this episode, don't give them ideas. Don't give them ideas. 

Lesley Logan 42:52  

I will say. So I wanted to, I wanted a Vespa in L.A. because like I wanted a little Vespa and you can just get a Vespa right? You don't have to like, you don't have to get a motorcycle license because they ride like a bike. But my husband's like, no, if you're gonna get a Vespa in L.A. you got to get a motorcycle license. And I was like, okay, I'll go. So my assistant, flexing the motorcycle license, school thing, whatever it is. And I did everything perfect, perfect written test every day of the practice was really great until the test, which of course, test anxiety, of course, this happens to me. All the people crash the whole time, they're crashing all the time, we get to the test, they don't crash at all. And instead, when we get to the breaking thing, I broke too soon. So they wanted me to do it again. And so when I did it again, my tire, I broke a little too hard on the on the back tire and it hit a little wet spot on paint on the parking lot. And of course, motorcycle crashes. I'm on the ground, and I failed the test. Right? So my sister was like, I'm so sorry, like, that happened, (inaudible) want to reschedule and I said, oh, we're not, we're not rescheduling. (inaudible) I'm gonna get an E-bike. He can't make me take a test for that. So like, there would be this movement like, hey, when is this getting rescheduled? And Lindsay's like, oh, I'm looking into seeing when Lesley's schedule can handled it. I'm like we're not doing we're still not doing it. So they can gang up on you. But you can, you can work it out. 

Melissa Doman 44:18  

But it comes from a place of love and care. You know? There's different things that when we're doing it, and she'll even say to me, she's like, I know this is difficult for you. You need to remember what we're going for. And she's so patient with me. And she teaches me stuff like all the time and I really see her like as an advisor, in addition to being you know, my online business manager, my assistant like she is, she's like a trusted advisor for me. 

Lesley Logan 44:52  

It sounds like especially as like, which, whatever she's doing evolves, sounds like she'd be a really great integrator and like could be the person who is your right hand who can then run people on the team so you don't have to, you know, that's like I'm sorry, I'm helping you grow.

Melissa Doman 45:07  

We might have had that conversation literally a few days ago. 

Lesley Logan 45:10  

That's huge. 

Melissa Doman 45:12  

Yeah. And so I think that, you know, she just like lives and breathes ops and like she just

Lesley Logan 45:19  

Thank God for those people, if you breathe ops, you guys can work for anybody who's got big dreams, I promise you. 

Melissa Doman 45:26  

She's amazing. And she's smart as a whip. And she's funny. And I just deep, I deeply care about her on a personal level. And you know, she, I feel deeply appreciative that she puts up with me. 

Lesley Logan 45:39  

But I also just like a testament to the work that you do and the work that you've put out there, because it does attract people who want to work with that, and who want to be part of the vision, like the impact that you're making is really huge. And you can't you make a big impact by yourself. You have to have people that are that see your vision, but because of who you are, and how you've been putting yourself out there and the way that you have been, unapologetically, and really voicing why we have to talk about mental health, there are people who want to be part of that impact. And so you have to like celebrate yourself a little bit.

Melissa Doman 46:15  

Thank you. I appreciate that. 

Lesley Logan 46:16  

You're welcome. So we're gonna take a brief break, and then we're gonna get those Be It Action Items and also the Chewbacca impersonation. 

All right, Mel, where can people find you, follow you, work with you, get your book?

Melissa Doman 46:31  

So my website is melissadoman.com. I'm also on LinkedIn, melissadoman on LinkedIn. On Instagram my handle is @thewanderingMel one word. And my book is available across all major online retailers. Amazon's the best place to get it but if you don't want to feed the Bezos machine, it's also available, you know, Target and Barnes and Nobles and all that. And, you know, if you feel like you need me to come in and crack some heads, no pun intended, to enable mental health at work conversations in your business, please reach out, I would love to help.

Lesley Logan 47:11  

Thank you. Okay, you've given us a lot, you gave us like some great tips on how to talk about things, but bold, executable, intrinsic target steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us? 

Melissa Doman 47:22  

When it comes to mental health at work, awareness is great, action is better. And I think that when it comes to changing what conversations look like, it's one thing to have the intention to do it. And it's another thing to create the impact. So decide how you're going to speak differently about your mental health at work, or how you want to support others and in a different way. Because, you know, you may not be able to make a big dent, but any dent is helpful. 

Lesley Logan 47:50  

Yeah, yeah. I like that. I like that. I think, I mean, we talked about at the beginning of the episode, in case you guys fast forward through the intro, because you've heard it so many times. I do say, action brings clarity. So like, you know, it really does. And so I think like, yes, talk about it, and then like, take the action and you'll understand more and more, you'll have more clarity around what to do next about the impact want to make.

Melissa Doman 48:16  

There's a reason that my tagline on my website that I trademarked is "Awareness is great, action is better." And I have to give credit again, where credit is due. My husband works in product marketing, and technology evangelism, and he's helped me so much with helping to shape my message and I always tell people, I have a crush on my CMO. I pay him, I pay him with respect and my company. He's amazing. He's so amazing at what he does, he does product marketing and technology evangelism for a salesforce partner company and I'm very deeply proud of him. 

Lesley Logan 48:57  

That's amazing. That's so cool. You guys are a dynamic duo. 

Melissa Doman 49:01  

We're trying to be, trying to be.

Lesley Logan 49:04  

Okay, can you do the Chewbacca voice for us? 

Melissa Doman 49:07  

Oh god. 

Lesley Logan 49:08  

Because I know, I know I have Star Wars fans especially my husband's going to listen to this. But also Hi Katie and Rachel and

Melissa Doman 49:17  

Okay. Ready?

Lesley Logan 49:31  

That's amazing. (inaudible) they'll love it and it was beautiful.

Melissa Doman 49:37  

Oh my god. I literally do that like as a reward to a workshop participants like if there's, if they're really engaged and not distracted by tech and they're like really present really, really doing the workshops with me. I dangle that as the carrot at the beginning and I go if you're good, if you participate, I will reward you all with this at the end. I would hold it. I would hold it if they don't.

Lesley Logan 50:11  

Yeah, I, well, thank you for sharing with us. And also because, hello Be It babe, you are a good listener, you made it all the way to the end. So thank you so much. Mel, you are the best, I just adore you. I'm so glad we got to finally meet in person, I got to have you back on the pod talk about what you've been up to. Because it is it I think is really important for people to see someone can have, like, publish a book and like make magic happen in their business and actually get those big, huge gets. And then also they keep going. And there's new, new moments of not just imposter syndrome, like going outside of your comfort zone and doing big things that scare you and then getting other big opportunities. So I cannot wait for your episode to come out with Kim Scott, because I'll be listening to it.

Melissa Doman 50:54  

Thank you so much. I'm so happy we get to meet in person, to come back on the pod and yeah, just really deeply appreciate it.

Lesley Logan 51:03  

Yeah. Well, y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Are you going to read her book? Are you going to help talk about mental health at work? Because you should. And please share this with a friend. If you have a friend who's like even a leader or a person at a company who needs this, you know, this is how we get the word out there. And the more people who talk about this stuff, the more companies actually have to talk about these things because there's power in the workforce, really being empowered and knowing what they want to talk about and how they want to be treated. So please share this. We can spread Mel's amazing word. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 52:17  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 52:22  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 52:27  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 52:34  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 52:37  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

What do you do when your to-do list isn’t fully checked off? Discover practical strategies to shift your mindset and boost motivation when tasks pile up. Plus, learn about Lesley Logan’s morning routines that helped her maintain a sense of home while on tour. Tune in to this FYF episode for actionable insights on productivity, self-care, and personal growth!

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Celebrating the 400th episode and the impact of listener support.
• Why you should have a "Be It" action to start the day.
• How to shift perspective and boost motivation when tasks pile up.
• Insights into maintaining routines and self-care during travel.
• The importance of community support and sharing personal wins.

Episode References/Links:

• OPC Summer Tour
• FemGevity
• Red Light from HigherDOSE
• Ep. 382 with Kel Cal
• Ep. 390 FYF with Lesley Logan
• Ep. 400 with Gay Hendricks

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

Fuck yeah.

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Hey, Be It babe. Happy Friday. Happy FYF. Happy fuck yeah, we made it. We are here we did it. And you know what's so funny is like, I write a bunch wins down and then I do these things. And sometimes I have an (inaudible). So one of the things I want to celebrate real quick at the top of this is we already hit our three year anniversary and our 400th episode, so we should just like whoo, whoo. And that's because of you. That's just because of you. We have so many reviews because of you. It's just like so freaking incredible and we have an amazing guest because of you guys. So just keep the listening coming because you need to know that every time you download the episode it really does make a difference. Every time. So please, please, please keep doing it. If you're like ah, I'm not good at anything. I'm not doing anything in this world trust me if you listen to this episode, you listen to all three episodes in a week, you are doing amazing things because what you're doing is allowing us to get bigger amazing guests for you and other listeners. Because those downloads matter. So, thank you. So if you're new here, hi, welcome. We do some of your wins that you send in, we do some of mine, and then we do a mantra. And shout out to Helen who sent in her be it song that she uses in her morning she (inaudible) which one she wants to use. I'm gonna let her keep that for herself. But if you listened to the Kel Cal interview and you have a be it song that you were listening to so a song you play in the morning that like makes you like, it's like your be it till you see it song, I want to hear, send it to me I want to hear it. Really, really is amazing. Lately, I've been playing Lovely Day. Mike Copeland. It's like lovely day, lovely day, lovely. I'm not gonna sing it for you, because I'm not as good as them. But it's great. That's mine, so you can borrow mine. Helen, I'm not sharing yours.

Alright, so let's get into it. Let's get into your wins. This is from Kimberly Craig. It was an early FYF. Today, I was disappointed with how much I didn't do then I realized I was telling myself whys. I talked, caught up on some emails, wrote, edited, and scheduled two newsletters and two blog posts. That's a huge for me and something to celebrate. I'm a week ahead. Then I took apart my car for a supposedly short replacement of my carbon filter, I thought maybe 15 minutes, which turned into two hours of blood, sweat, and almost tears. Turns out there's no cabin filter, carbon filter, clearly I don't drive car. (Inaudible) model. The only model that doesn't have one. But I did discover a mouse house in my AC condenser and might have fixed my air conditioning instead. So now I'm going to make dinner and take my kid to volleyball where I will be talking up my summer session to some of the other moms. I'm doing more than I gave myself credit for it. Just because my to do list is still long doesn't mean that the stuff I take off doesn't count. Boom, Kim Craig, thank you for sharing this as a Be It win that we could share with all the listeners today because holy freaking moly, can we just like take a minute for like how much you got done. First of all, that's a lot. That's like, that's something, that sounds like more than I did today. So I am just so freaking proud of you for noticing that. And oftentimes, you guys, we make a to do list that is too freaking long. It's impossible to get it all done. It just isn't. Like I look at my schedule with my assistant and we review things and then I wake up and go yeah, this can't happen today. Today. Today, I'm gonna honor my cycle. And we're not doing that today. And that is a win, right? So like, it's okay, if you didn't get stuff done, because beating yourself up to get it done is also not going to be, you're not gonna be fine and be present. Can I also just shout out that like, you're a week ahead. And you also took apart your own car. Like, I am so impressed by that. If any of you are people who like do household tasks that are like fixing things, that's a win. So in case you're certainly like I haven't I don't have any wins today. If you, like my husband will go up and fix the air conditioning system and I'm just like, fuck yeah, what a win. Fuck yeah it's Friday. Like way to go babe. Because these are just things I'm like, not my strength. Not my bag, may call someone. And so I just want to say like if you're someone who does have talent and these things and you're doing them you take it for granted that it's a win you actually see this like this is just part of life. This is what I got to do. But you did that. You did it. So thank you for celebrating that. Thank you for reminding people that you don't have to finish the whole To Do List to have done everything. So, way to go. We had Djamila's win a couple weeks ago which is like a Ta Da List, so I'm in. Way to go Kim. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I just want to repeat what you said at the end, I'm doing more than I give myself credit for, just because my to do list is still long doesn't mean the stuff I take off doesn't count. Boom, boom, that's freaking amazing. Amazing. 

Okay, so keep this I'll go into my win. So we are almost done with the tour. And I was actually able to bring a lot of my morning routine stuff with me, which is, uh, not always, like, usually it's like, I got to a morning movement, I got to shower. You know, I get to having a latte. But like, I don't really have a better way to do a routine, or at least I didn't prior to this tour, but I had spent so many weeks at home really trying to hone in like what is my new morning routines, less actually able to take some of them with me. So hello, dry brush, my HigherDOSE dry brush, I was dry brushing myself in my bed before I got out. I'm like what a great way to start the day. I was also able to still take with me some of the things that FemGevity provides me, so that I could take care of myself and have my hormones be the balance that I want them to be. There was, also I was able to take my Red Light from HigherDOSE with me, if that just like makes me feel like I'm like doing some self care. It's a win to me that in the chaos of a tour. And even as organized as our team is and as planned out as a tour is, there's just always like, a little bit of obstacles, everything takes a little bit longer. You forgot a timezone change whatever, that I could still start every day with some things that make me feel like I'm at home. And that is my win. 

Your mantra for the weekend is I uplift, my joy and the joy of others. Yeah, you do you listen to this podcast, we're both doing it. I uplift my joy and the joy of others. Say one more time with me. I uplift my joy and the joy of others. All right. I'm just so grateful for having you as a listener, I'm also really, I want you to know that even I'm not someone who like needs accountability all the time. But I definitely go through bursts and spouts of like, you know, woe with me. And so having you having to have a win to share with you guys really helped me look ahead and plan ahead, because I am like, oh, I can tell them about this. Or I can tell him about this. Oh, I can help them with this. So I just I'm really grateful for you. Thank you so much for listening to the Be It Pod. How are you going to use these wins as inspiration in your life to see a win that you have? I want to know, I want you to send your win in. You can put it in the reviews. You can send them in on Instagram. You can send them to me somehow get them here because the Be It Pod wants to shout those out. And you can also call us and leave a message with your Be It win, so please do and until next time. Thank you so much. Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 8:30  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 8:35  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 8:39  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 8:46  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 8:49  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap the conversation with Matt Gerlach, an entrepreneur and breakthrough consultant focused on men's mental health and well-being. This recap explores the impact of unhealed trauma on loved ones and the critical role parents play in modeling self-care and teaching children the importance of boundaries. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why microchipping is essential for pet safety.
• Expansions to OPC fitness decks and where to purchase.
• How to embrace imperfection and self-acceptance.
• Impact of unhealed trauma on family members and future generations.
• The essential role of parents in teaching boundaries to their children.
• How to break the cycle of generational trauma and foster healing.
• How to take control of your life with goal-setting strategies. 

Episode References/Links:

• Barrels Deck Flashcards
• OPC Summer Tour
• Cambodia February 2025 Retreat
• OPC $40 for 40 Days
• eLevate Mentorship Program
• Pilates Studio Growth Accelerator Program
•  6-Step Guide to Creating Your Dream Life with Matt Gerlach
• Matt Gerlach's Podcast
• Lauren Zoeller Episode 388

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

To think that you are less than and then you just have to be better. And once you're better, then things are better. Actually, the more you love and accept yourself, the better all things are.  

Lesley Logan 0:11  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:53  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the growth-oriented convo I had with Matt Gerlach in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back to listen to that one. And then come back and join us.

Brad Crowell 1:11  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 1:11  

What a sweet guy. I like him a lot.

Brad Crowell 1:13  

It was a super thoughtful interview. 

Lesley Logan 1:14  

Yeah, he's super vulnerable and authentic. 

Brad Crowell 1:18  

That's how he described himself is he said he wasn't always vulnerable. And I mean, it definitely if that's something he intentionally worked on, it comes through in that interview. It was great. 

Lesley Logan 1:30  

Some coaches in that space could be like a look at me. Look what I've done, you know, like just do it my way. And he's definitely like, I'm on this journey and here's what's helped me. And it's more of a guide. And I really appreciate that about him. So today is August 15th, 2024 and it's Check the Chip Day. 

Brad Crowell 1:47  

That's right. 

Lesley Logan 1:48  

About this day, Check the Chip Day is celebrated annually on August 15th. It's that time of the year when we raise awareness regarding the importance of microchipping. 

Brad Crowell 1:56  

Microchipping. 

Lesley Logan 1:57  

Which greatly helps in reuniting missing pets with their owners. In fact, every second a pet family pet is lost with only one in 10 ever being found. Every second a family pet is lost and only one in 10 are ever found. There's a fucking lot of seconds in a day. So on one tenth. Oh my god. This is very depressing.

Brad Crowell 2:17  

That's why we're raising awareness. Check the Chip Day.

Lesley Logan 2:20  

Approximately 10 million pets are lost annually.

Brad Crowell 2:23  

Ten million.

Lesley Logan 2:24  

Microchipping provides peace of mind to pet owners as it confirms the safety of their beloved pets. Gone are the days when pets were kept in cages now, they can be free and out of harm's way. Okay.

Brad Crowell 2:34  

Yeah. Okay. So FYI, they, I, I tried to figure out the best way to check your chip. Okay. Cause if it's Check Your Chip Day, how do we do it? Ultimately you need to have a special RFID reader and your cell phone can't do the job. So there are a couple of apps that connect to a reader, but you got to buy the damn reader first. So I really went down the rabbit hole on here. Basically, take your, take your dog to the vet, get the chip read, right? Get that number. And then here's the, here's the problem. You might have a chip, but the chip still has to be registered with a system.

Lesley Logan 3:11  

And also a lot of people don't update their contact information. 

Brad Crowell 3:16  

They almost never do. 

Lesley Logan 3:16  

So they move things like that. I follow one of the rescue, dog rescues out here and after the 4th of July, they got in 400 pets in a day, 400 pets turned in, most of them had chips. And so, first of all, if you do find a pet, go to a vet, just drive to a vet and have it checked, do not go to a pound and things like that, because some of those are kill shelters, and if they, even if they have a microchip, they have a limited space, so take them to a vet, and then that way they can scan the thing, and then they can hopefully contact someone, but everybody, you need to update. Brad, are ours updated?

Brad Crowell 3:55  

Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 3:57  

Okay.

Brad Crowell 3:57  

Yeah, there's a couple of different databases. You can just search for pet, you know, pet chip databases or microchip databases. Cause it depends on the chip. Sometimes the chip depends on the database. Like for example, we have two of our dogs are in one database and then one is in a different database. But they need to be in a database.

Lesley Logan 4:15  

Oh, cause we had two dogs in California and one in Nevada. 

Brad Crowell 4:17  

That's right. 

Lesley Logan 4:18  

So also another way you can do this, you guys, we have them chipped and we have them, what do we call these things?

Brad Crowell 4:24  

Air tagged. 

Lesley Logan 4:24  

Air tagged. 

Brad Crowell 4:25  

Yeah. We also put air tags on ours.

Lesley Logan 4:26  

And we have air tags and they have these cute little things that go on their collars and the air tags are great because whenever we get out of the van on tour, it goes, you've left three items behind. So it's always August. It's like, you've left. It's like, he's right here. Like, don't panic me about the one that runs off.

Lesley Logan 4:34  

You've left your item, Gaia, behind.

Lesley Logan 4:46  

Yeah. So anyways, do both, double dose it.

Brad Crowell 4:50  

Yeah. Double dose it. So next time you go to the vet or even just go to that now.

Lesley Logan 4:56  

I would not wait. If you have no idea, if you're sitting here listening to us going, I wonder if mine is like, don't, you'll be so pissed if in three days, your dog gets out and then you're like, they told me, it's like, yeah, we did.

Brad Crowell 5:09  

Handle it. All right. Here's what's coming up in events and travel. A summer tour. We are on the road right now. As we speak we are probably leaving St. Louis and driving to Kansas city. By the time you're listening to this we have. Today's the 15th, tomorrow the 16th. We're in Kansas city on the 18th. We're in Colorado Springs, Colorado. If you are in either of those places and you want to come hang out go to opc.me/tour, opc.me/tour. That's it for the summer tour at this point, and then we're going to be doing a winter tour leaving in December but we're still working on all the specifics for that. So right now, the last two stops are going to be Kansas City and Colorado Springs. After that, we are still taking applications for elevate. That's Lesley's mentorship program. It's a Pilates mentorship program. It is nine months long. It is an amazing opportunity where Lesley gets to pass on all the information she learned from her teacher, Jay Grimes, who literally studied with Joseph Pilate. He taught all the stuff he knows. 

Lesley Logan 6:10  

Pilate? Just Joseph Pilate? 

Brad Crowell 6:11  

Just Joseph Pilate. Just Joseph, one Pilate. 

Lesley Logan 6:14  

He's one Pilate. 

Brad Crowell 6:15  

Yeah, he only has one. Joseph Pilates and he, Jay, passed on all the information that he knows to Lesley. She's literally been working with him for 12 years. Something like that. 10 years, at least 10, more than 10. 

Lesley Logan 6:27  

Yeah, yeah. 

Brad Crowell 6:28  

Yeah. 12 years. You're super young, babe. I love you so much. And she gets to pass on all this information. Go to lesleylogan.co/elevate. You'll be able to say that you're classically trained. You're going to be a third generation teacher. You're going to be able to connect all the dots for all the different pieces of equipment. It's going to help you with class planning. You're not going to talk as much when you teach. It's going to be great.

Lesley Logan 6:46  

I think the official would be 10 years, guys. 

Brad Crowell 6:48  

Ten. 

Lesley Logan 6:49  

Official. Yeah. Yeah.

Brad Crowell 6:50  

She's still doing the math all right. It's all right. 

Lesley Logan 6:52  

I just want to, I don't want to lie, you know.

Brad Crowell 6:54  

We don't want you to lie. Okay. So, then, we are going to Cambodia in February 2025 crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com. Y'all know it's my favorite thing to do of all the things that we do. It is an amazing experience. It is incredible trip. We're going to go romp through the jungle. We're going to eat great food, local food. We're going to do some Pilates. We're going to meet up amazing people. It's a journey and it's an incredible journey and we want you to join it with us. Come stay at our house, crowsnestretreats.com. All right. You want to take the next two?

Lesley Logan 7:26  

Yeah, because I want you to be an OPC member. You guys, it is one of the best places to do your Pilates because guess what? You can do Pilate, you can do your Pilates anywhere you can lay down and OPC is, I know you're like, I won't do it online. I have to go to a place. You can still go to a place and you can be an OPC member because here's the deal. You need to do more Pilates than you think. Once a week isn't going to cut it. Our classes are 30 minutes long, but finishing is optional. And we have monthly classes that are 50 minutes long. We hold you accountable because classes do disappear, but as of last month, you actually have the weekly classes access for two weeks for each class. So each week we drop a new class. But you have access to this week's class and last week's class. Don't you like how creative those names are? This week's class and last week's class. Yeah. And one of our teachers today was like, if you're like, Oh my god, I'm overwhelmed. Which one do I do? She closed her eyes and she hits click. So there you go. Thanks, Christine, for that. So opc.me/40 gets you 40 days of OPC for $40. You can quit if you don't like it, but hey, you might love it.

Brad Crowell 8:28  

You might just love it. 

Lesley Logan 8:29  

And by the way, it can be part of that 2 percent of every day you dedicate to you. And then if you are a Pilates instructor and you are feeling like your business is just not making the money that you want, then I want you to join Brad for our free webinar. It 's called Accelerator and it's really amazing because by the way, there is money in Pilates and you can make it and you are capable of doing it. And no, you don't have to do crazy memberships or do wild things on social media. 

Brad Crowell 8:56  

Grow a million followers. 

Lesley Logan 8:58  

There's a path for every single person to make the money they want to make, especially when you have, when you're armed with the knowledge on how to do it. So go to prfit.biz/accelerator prfit.biz/accelerator.

Brad Crowell 9:09  

That's profit without the O prfit.biz/accelerator.

Lesley Logan 9:14  

All right. We're going to get into this episode with Matt, but before we do, we have an audience question.

Brad Crowell 9:18  

We sure do. Esta Zero on YouTube says, Hey you've been talking about these flashcards. Where do I find them?

Lesley Logan 9:27  

Yeah, I was like, oh, this is an easy question. You guys, you just go to onlinepilatesclasses.com and if you go to the shop, it'll say flashcards. 

Brad Crowell 9:36  

Yeah, or you go to opc.me/flashcards. That'll also do it. So directly to the spot.

Lesley Logan 9:40  

And right now, this episode is coming out. You'll have access to four decks of the five we've worked on so far. The fifth one is the Barrels deck and that one is, I think you can buy it, you just have to wait. That one will be out probably

Brad Crowell 9:56  

Barrels will be shipping in 

Lesley Logan 9:57  

September, October? 

Brad Crowell 9:57  

Eight to ten weeks from, yeah, next week.

Lesley Logan 10:01  

Yeah. So, yeah. So we're probably looking at like 

Brad Crowell 10:03  

we're probably looking at like timber. We're looking like 

Lesley Logan 10:05  

October. 

Brad Crowell 10:05  

Yeah, beginning of October.

Lesley Logan 10:07  

But also here's fun news. The mat deck got a makeover. 

Brad Crowell 10:12  

It sure did. Got a facelift. 

Lesley Logan 10:14  

Yeah. Facelift. It got fillers. We got more exercises in there. 

Brad Crowell 10:21  

That's great. 

Lesley Logan 10:22  

It's actually youthful. Cause it got, it went from its vintage vibe to other rebrand that is so  

Brad Crowell 10:28  

It's hip, young and cool now. 

Lesley Logan 10:29  

Hip, young and cool. And it has standing exercises in there. We have more prep exercises in there. It's just really, really fun. So if you haven't got the mat deck yet, you should get this new one, which is probably shipping like as we speak, because it was eight weeks ago, four weeks ago, so it's probably in three to four weeks still, but. Yeah. It's happening.

Brad Crowell 10:51  

Yeah. We're talking end of August.

Lesley Logan 10:53  

It's a little beefier, but still that same great feel that will fit in your gym bag. We'll go on a trip with you. All the good things. So you can get those. Also. Oh my god. I left the cat out of the bag right now. We are reprinting the Reformer Deck and I added the related mat exercises to the Reformer Deck. 

Brad Crowell 11:11  

What? 

Lesley Logan 11:12  

I know.

Brad Crowell 11:13  

So we've also given a facelift to the Reformer card.

Lesley Logan 11:16  

It's a tiny one. Micro lift, a mini lift. It was a mini lift. 

Brad Crowell 11:20  

It's a lash extension. 

Lesley Logan 11:21  

Yeah. That's really what it is. You're correct. You are so correct. And then because because my team, it just wants to finish this, the flashcard project. I'm already working on deck number six.

Brad Crowell 11:35  

It's only been five years. Only.

Lesley Logan 11:37  

Four. Four. We came up with the idea in 2019, but I didn't write the mat deck until February of 2020 and then the pandemic happened. But in the later part of the pandemic of 2020, we released the Mat Deck. So currently it has been four official years.

Brad Crowell 11:52  

Okay. That's fair. That's fair. Four years. Five decks.

Lesley Logan 11:54  

But the sixth deck will be the fifth year. And then, oh my god, Meredith's like, maybe you do an expansion deck. And I was like, shh. You shut your mouth, you zip it.

Brad Crowell 12:02  

You just wait up. Hold up.

Lesley Logan 12:03  

You zip it. Cause I have some ideas of what I want to do with these cards. Like when you, I, I want it, I want, I wouldn't do like a text message that like sends you cards that like, it's almost like a tarot reading, but like the cards are laid out to like create an exercise. 

Brad Crowell 12:19  

That could be fun. 

Lesley Logan 12:19  

Isn't it fun like today's that you're reading today is this? We make it all like Shamany. 

Brad Crowell 12:26  

All right. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. 

Lesley Logan 12:28  

Anyway, stop.

Brad Crowell 12:29  

If you, if y'all have any ideas on how you would want us to work with you on these cards.

Lesley Logan 12:34  

No, we're not making a digital deck. 

Brad Crowell 12:37  

No, we're not doing a digital deck. 

Lesley Logan 12:38  

So you can ask and it's.

Brad Crowell 12:39  

Although I, I have been tempted to do a, a full app that, that, that's interesting. That could be interesting.

Lesley Logan 12:47  

No, we have an app and they can watch the videos in there. No. 

Lesley Logan 12:50  

They can't watch the videos. 

Lesley Logan 12:51  

No. No, no, the cards are the way they are, but I may help people put building blocks together is the thing that I would be interested in doing. And since I'm the one doing it, this is what I want to do. So let me know if you like that idea and if your idea sucks. Keep it to yourself.

Brad Crowell 13:10  

Stick around, we'll be right back. Okay, now let's talk about Mr. Matt Gerlach. Matt is an entrepreneur, an author, and an owner of a breakthrough consulting business netting over a million dollars in annual revenue. He focuses on men's mental health and well being. Matt draws from his own experiences to guide clients through their struggles. His work emphasizes the importance of self-worth, setting boundaries, goal setting, and breaking the cycles of trauma. And generationally, too. You know, I thought it was really cool that he said, I'm the first one in my family to break this cycle, right? Super aware of that. And that's pretty cool. I think that's awesome. 

Lesley Logan 13:53  

I know. It's really, it's really amazing. When he first, when we first met him and he spoke, I was like, wow, beautiful. He like, like his soul is beautiful. You know, like, it's just really, really amazing. So he said, there's never a destination when we're perfect. Like, like, there's just not like, like perfect doesn't get, you don't get to stop, you know? And so what he said is his biggest thing is that he, that he's ever done is he. 

Brad Crowell 14:17  

I think he said, I think he said this. 

Lesley Logan 14:20  

Yeah. Yeah. And if you're not watching YouTube, then you don't know what just happened. So that was not for the folks at home, babe. But we have a hat is really what it all is. That was a little of a merch, you know, thing. It's, 'Perfect is boring,' it's what the hat said. So he said the biggest thing he's done is to learn to love and accept himself in learning and loving this, to accept himself was to recognize that there's nothing wrong with him. And I really love that. You guys, there's nothing wrong with you. Like, you are enough. We have, oh, another merch.  

Brad Crowell 14:52  

Another merch.  

Lesley Logan 14:53  

We are, but who knew? I didn't know this today, but we have a sweatshirt that says, you are enough. You've done enough today. When you look at it in the mirror and then on the back, it tells the person behind you, you've done enough today. But at any rate there's nothing wrong. And I think that's really a hard thing because yes, of course self-growth and self-development is an amazing thing. There's always something you can learn about yourself. But to think that you are less than, and then you just have to be better, and once you're better, then things are better. Actually, the more you love and accept yourself, the better all things are. You know? You bring a whole different vibe to every group you're in, a whole different, you have less insecurity in conversations and so deeper conversations can happen. It's just really amazing. And so he also did talk about boundaries, you know, I'm a big fan of boundaries. And he said that it was because he really focused on boundaries and advocating for himself. He was able to take his business into a million dollar paycheck for himself. And that's also cool because most people think I gotta say yes to everyone. I gotta people-please. I gotta work all the time. No, I can't have boundaries because then people won't like me and then I won't make any money. And that's not true because he fucking made it work. Million dollar a year paycheck. I, yeah, I love that. 

Brad Crowell 16:01  

Yeah. I mean, that's, actually, his story was that when he first started his business, he didn't have any boundaries. And his clients were like, flying him all over the place and he was doing all this stuff and he was getting really, he was building a lot of resentment when asked to handle things that he probably, my guess is, had advised against, they did it anyway, and he's like, what the fuck, now I have to clean up your mess and it was building a lot of resentment, and that's because he didn't have boundaries at the time. And then over time started to shift all that and change it. So, I mean, what an awesome thing to be able to help guide people through setting those boundaries you know, for his clients with his clients, really cool. One thing I loved, he said is that his mission, his, he talked about his mission, helping unhealed trauma. And he mentioned that trauma, when left unhealed, you think it's not affecting anyone or you think it's not affecting you, but it is, it's actually being passed to your loved ones. It's being passed to the people in your immediate circle. Whether you realize it or not, we are, we are passing it along and whether we're intentionally doing it or not, we are passing it along. So that was actually kind of shocking to me. I was like, never thought about that. He highlighted the time we're in right now where the word generational trauma is becoming a lot more prevalent. We're, we're becoming a lot more aware of it. And that's why I found this impactful is because my parents don't seem like they're traumatized people, but I definitely learned things from them that I had to choose to part ways with later on in my life. And it's taken me a long time to understand how I was thinking, why I was thinking it that way, and then make the decision to no longer think that way. Not to tell too long of a story here, but generally a lot to do with money and the way that I think about money. Was definitely, I adopted it from my, my parents. The irony is I never actually learned how to handle money. What I got from them was the emotional element of money. And it was negative. There's never enough money, right? Save every penny you got because you're never going to have enough money. And so I never learned. I learned how to save, you know, but I didn't actually do it. But I learned about that. But I didn't learn how money growth worked. And so it created this weird fear around it. And I don't think my parents meant to do that. That wasn't something that they, but it was, it was clearly something that, you know, they adopted, too.

Lesley Logan 18:34  

And also just speaking of what parents could do. So many parents don't make time for themselves because they're like, oh, I want to do things with my kids. Do you know the best thing you could teach your child is that you, boundaries. Like I, in the morning, I spend time with myself. You get to spend time with yourself and we all are allowed and all deserve time to go inward and think about ourselves. You want to, you want to pass something on, pass on boundaries.

Brad Crowell 19:01  

Yeah. I mean, imagine, I mean, this is one of the things that we encourage all of our OPC you know, clients to do is say, hey family, I love you so much. Right now is my time to practice Pilates. I'm only asking for 2 percent of my day and I'm going to do that right now. And when this is happening, I'm doing that.

Lesley Logan 19:21  

And also, do you want to know what else you can do? They can join you. They just can't talk to you. 

Brad Crowell 19:25  

Right. 

Lesley Logan 19:25  

So, Emily, our neighbor who we did our pop up at her store, I sent her a workout the standing workout from my YouTube channel and she posted, her friend and her doing the same workout. They've never done it before. 

Brad Crowell 19:39  

Cool. 

Lesley Logan 19:39  

They're following along with me. And guess what? One of their daughters just came right up and just started doing right behind them. 

Brad Crowell 19:44  

That's so cool. 

Lesley Logan 19:45  

Didn't interrupt them. Didn't say, hey, can I have this? Like just started doing it because. 

Brad Crowell 19:49  

I love that. 

Lesley Logan 19:50  

They are an example of like taking care of their selves and like, that's important. And so kids just catch on to these good things and they'll catch on to the shit too.

Brad Crowell 19:59  

Yeah. I love that. When you don't address trauma you are passing it on. And he's, he said he emphasizes the importance of negotiating goals and making achievable plans, focus on goal-setting with his clients, also articulates their goals and overcome limiting belief. And he said, it's really being able to take control over your life and realize that you have agency in building the life that you want and making changes. You know, we totally agree. That's exactly why we created our coaching program, our fitness business coaching program, which is called Agency. It is on purpose. You know, so couldn't agree more. Love that. And there's so many bunch of different ways you can process trauma.

Lesley Logan 20:39  

You can also reach out to Matt and see what options he's offering and also 

Brad Crowell 20:43  

Actually he is offering a 30-minute call to work with him. 

Lesley Logan 20:47  

Yeah. 

Brad Crowell 20:48  

So, and, and here's, here's the thing, you know, it was working mostly with men, but I'm sure he'll take your call too.

Lesley Logan 20:54  

Yeah, I'm sure he will. And also like, if you're listening to this and you have a man in your life, send them this episode because you don't have to be the one to tell them what to do. They can figure it out for themselves.

Brad Crowell 21:03  

That's true. But, we'll tell him, hey, your wife gave you this episode on purpose so that you can book a call with Matt.

Lesley Logan 21:10  

We could just tell, we just do that. Well then thank your wife. 

Brad Crowell 21:13  

Thank you, wife. 

Lesley Logan 21:15  

Happy life. Happy wife. There you go. 

Brad Crowell 21:17  

Stick around. All right, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Matt Gerlach? He said, just to keep going, you need to stay on the journey and celebrate the small wins along the way. Perfectionism is a very real thing. We've talked about perfectionism so much on this pod. I loved in his three steps that he was talking about. Perfectionism was like number one and he said, you got to let it go. And he said, it's probably the hardest thing. So this is like, even though it's step one, it's still challenging to do. And ironically, I found it, I found it really funny that you said, I call myself a recovering perfectionist because I think the idea of. Getting rid of perfectionism is the perfectionist in me . So I'll call myself the recovering perfectionist. I agree. You know, like I'm also, I'm healed. I'm no longer perfect. Alright. Which is the perfect form of, like it's.

Lesley Logan 22:18  

That's just perfectionism. Yeah. I'm, by the way guys, I'm reading this book on perfectionism and it's irritating the fuck outta me . And I had written to the woman saying, I want her on the pod on. And I, if she comes on the pod. I, I have several questions for her because like, she's basically saying to own your perfectionism, but to let go of the malignant parts and like, keep the like healthy parts. And I'm like, but isn't that like being a human with like, like, isn't that just using your strengths? Like there are strengths that you're, I'm just like, I'm struggling with it. Anyways, I'm a couple of girlfriends are reading it. We're all texting about it. And I just, I'm like. No, I, I don't. She's like, I don't have to call yourself a recovering perfectionist. And I'm like, yeah, I do. And it's not like, I'm like, I'm not using it as like, oh, don't mind me. I'm recovering perfectionist. I'm not using that. No, it's just like, it's a reminder. oh, let that shit go. What basically, Matt's Be It Action Item, we got to let it go. Like that's, I'll let it go.

Brad Crowell 23:13  

And, and being vulnerable, you know, he said he said, listen, you know, something he's been working on for a long time. And he still feels like he's only penetrated 10% of this perfectionism wall that he has built around himself. So, you know, don't beat yourself up. But it's something, the more you focus on it the more aware of it you'll be and the easier it will be to go I'm doing it again, doing it again. So yeah, what about you?

Lesley Logan 23:40  

He said, you need to talk to someone about what's going on. And it's really true. Like things grow in the dark, like in the darkness, but when you shed light on it, like it can kill all that bad stuff. And shedding light on it is talking to someone and very, most importantly, he said, select wisely. And so here's the deal, like, absolutely, you can reach out to Matt because if he's not a person for you, I'm sure he has resources for you. So that's what I would do if we've had other guests on in a similar vein, like, reach out to them. These are people who have resources and they have ideas. We are, we are not people who do like, therapy or somatic work we just know people who do and so, but he, you have to select wisely because I think people go, oh, I tried therapy and it didn't work for me. There are so many different types of therapy. And there are so

Brad Crowell 24:29  

You just had a deep dive with Lauren Zoeller about somatics versus talk versus, you know. Yes.

Lesley Logan 24:36  

Yes. And there's like, people are doing EMDR. They're doing all this different stuff. So trust your, don't trust your gut if you're like, I don't know, this person's listening to me. I was my person. Go the next person. And I know that's hard. I know, especially when you are finally aware that you are trying to deal with your trauma and it's affecting your life negatively. We want it to like fix it tomorrow. And all of these people might have wait lists or like time, but just know that the fact that you've acknowledged you have this help and that you are on the journey to find someone. Do not let the first one or two people who don't feel like they're a great match, stop you from doing this. Keep searching, keep looking, it's, it's, it, you are worth it. And so use this free call. We have the link. 

Brad Crowell 25:19  

Yeah, it'll be in the show notes. 

Lesley Logan 25:21  

Yeah. So check it out. Go check out Matt Gerlach. Share this with a friend, share this with a dude in your life who we've had Michael Unbroken on and like other people, we've a lot of men in our lives who like, I think are really cool people like Matt, they've done work and they're on this journey and they're always uncovering themselves. They're always learning and growing. And so it can seem like that's what everyone is doing, but also like they did, they've been doing it for years and it took just the acknowledgement and the first step. So it is possible for the people in your life to take that first step. Sometimes as soon as ready, the teacher appears and maybe this episode or other episodes will help ready them. You know, they might hear something in his story that gets them to go, oh, hey, wait, that's me. That's not normal? You know, like that, you know, like you said, neither one of our parents were actually very like textbook traumatizing to us.

Brad Crowell 26:13  

I'm the problem. It's me.

Lesley Logan 26:14  

Yeah. But like, you know what I mean? Like when we think about like people like, oh, I like lost my parents and like, this person killed this person in front of me.

Brad Crowell 26:23  

It's not like my parents were abusive or anything like that. But still. Yeah. And, and actually he mentioned there's like, there's a, there's a big difference between big T trauma and little T trauma, right? Like if you went to war or there's some tragic incident that happened in your, in your life and your childhood or whatever versus like, you know, he, his example was, you know, maybe your uncle yelled at you for doing something stupid when you were a kid and you know, and that stuck with you. You know, and it's been affecting you all this time, subconsciously, that's like little t trauma kind of stuff. 

Lesley Logan 26:54  

So, yeah. Yeah. So come on, take them up on that. You guys share this with a friend and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 27:02  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 27:04  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 27:47  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 27:52  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 27:56  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 28:03  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 28:07  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley Logan interviews Matt Gerlach about overcoming generational trauma and perfectionism. Discover how setting boundaries and self-compassion transformed his life. Gain practical insights on setting goals, managing anxiety, and embracing vulnerability. Listen now for an inspiring conversation that will help you on your own healing journey!

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How Matt overcame panic attacks and depression.
• Understand the quick payoff from setting boundaries.
• Matt's transformation through healing childhood trauma.
• The benefits of couples therapy in growing together.
• How Matt shifted from anxiety to self-love and acceptance.
• Overcome perfectionism and how to embrace imperfection.

Episode References/Links:

• Matt Gerlach on Instagram
• Matt Gerlach Website
• 6-Step Guide to Creating Your Dream Life with Matt Gerlach
• Matt Gerlach's Podcast
• You're a Badass by Jen Sincero
• Barrels Deck Flashcards

Guest Bio:

Matt is more than just an entrepreneur and author—he's a conqueror of challenges, a beacon of personal transformation. With unwavering belief in the inherent wisdom within each of us, he guides his clients to unearth their inner strength and conquer the barriers blocking their path to success. Matt’s scaled his consulting business to generate an impressive $1M in annual revenue, and he works one-on-one with men who grapple with self-doubt, illuminating the truth that there's nothing inherently flawed within them and empowers them to embrace their true selves, enabling them to pursue their passions and aspirations with confidence and purpose.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Matt Gerlach 0:00  

There's never a destination where we're perfect. You're opening up about it as you're talking, you're getting feedback along the way. And you're also at the same time, learning to love yourself. The more compassion you are giving to yourself, the more you let others give you compassion. And like right now I would say that the biggest thing that I've done is I've learned to love myself and accept myself and that nothing's wrong with me.

Lesley Logan 0:27  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:09  

All right, Be It babe. This is a great one. I mean, they're all great. But this one is a dear friend. Got to know him so much more on today's pod. But I had the pleasure of meeting him in person, you'll hear that story in a moment. This is vulnerable. My perfectionists, ooh, this one's for you. And also just if you feel like you are just trying to keep it all together. There's a lot to work on. And Matt has a beautiful story. And he is doing great work on this planet. And he's a great example of like, being able to do work on yourself and then give that and take that and to help others. And so I love the work that he's doing on this planet love how he's helping people. And so I can't wait for you to hear how he can help you. Here's Matt Gerlach. 

Lesley Logan 1:49  

All right, Be It babe. I'm super excited. Today, we have another guest where I got to meet this person in real life. And we were in this room of 70. I think it was like 70 people. And to be completely honest, I couldn't hear half the people's what they're saying. Because there's just it's a lot if you have two minutes, like to introduce yourself. But this person stood up and their story totally stood out. And so when they reached out to me on the pod, I was like, yeah, because I do remember you and I remember your story. So Matt Gerlach, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?

Matt Gerlach 2:19  

Sure. Thanks for having me. And thank you for that nice warm introduction. I really appreciate it. Um, yeah, so I would love to share my story. About eight years ago, I had just started a business. I was living in New York in Manhattan with my partner, we've been together for now 12 years, and I started having panic attacks. My blood pressure was diagnosed as high, I was going to the doctor trying to figure out what was going on and I found all of these health problems. And I, at the time, was convinced that something was wrong with my health and I continued to figure out what was going on. I went to the hospital a couple of times, thinking I was dying from this, it sounds crazy to say right now but like back then I didn't know mental health was a real thing. I would fundamentally did not know that. I thought that your emotions were no reason to, like I just didn't think that anything emotional could debilitate a person like they were me. And I found out that what I was going through was anxiety and depression. And it sent me on a healing journey where I went back and reprocessed my childhood, my life. I was 30, 32 years old at the time and I don't think I knew anything about myself. I had just been hiding from myself hiding dissatisfactions and just being grateful for what I had and I went back and I completely healed. I mean, I.

Lesley Logan 3:48  

I thought you were gonna say I was completely realizing I shouldn't have been grateful for all of that. I was, it was actually really tough.

Matt Gerlach 3:55  

You know? Well, you know what I said the other day that really like just I was surprised this came out, I said, "Being grateful and desiring more are not mutually exclusive." I think it's really important (inaudible). Thanks. I think it's important that we are grateful you know, I mean, it's a big part of my life. I wake up every morning, before I get into bed I think what I'm grateful for but I can also want to feel better. Yeah, so I went back through a whole healing journey I unearth what my childhood was like for me. There was a lot of trauma that happened and went back and went through it and I'm a whole different person now. I'm careful when I say this because I don't want to say that like anxiety goes away forever, per se. But I do not feel anxious or depressed at all. And I do feel a part of that because I'll be able to handle what comes my way. 

Lesley Logan 4:46  

You know, I want to like highlight I think a lot of people listening I feel like you're on the, you're on the younger end of like a millennial, so but I do think that like the millennial, Gen X, you know, and even older, of course, you should be happy for what you have. And you should just move on and you're having, everyone has a bad day, f* up, keep going. And like you, we were trained to ignore how we felt. And that can go only so far. And that you can make it to 32. Doing that is quite an achievement. Because I think a lot of people, they don't and so, and so, and also, I would say, I probably would guess, so many people would see your life on the outside and go, it would be so easy and you have it so great and like how are you having an anxiety attack? You've done so much. So can you tell us a little about like the life you were living? Were you, as an entrepreneur, were you, was your company doing really great or was the anxiety because the company wasn't doing great? What was kind of going on?

Matt Gerlach 5:48  

Yeah, and you just said that. That's exactly the kind of people that I worked with now, it's people whose life look great on the outside, and they feel horrible on the inside. And that was exactly what it was. Honestly, I was thinner, because I wasn't I mean, I was like the thinnest I'd ever been, like, I wasn't eating properly. And my skin looked good. I guess I was drinking a lot of water still. But yeah, I mean, I looked fine on the outside and at the time, so I've always been successful in life, I've moved to New York. And I, you know, it's true. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. I kind of amazed myself by navigating myself up the career ladder, and I wound up in baby product sales. I know. It's sort of like cool industry, but it just like, random that I fell into this. And I was just laid off of a job. And I thought, I still think I was okay about that kind of because I did always say well, I made good money. And like that wasn't a financial huge blow. And I knew it was happening. So I started taking on clients before this, but I started a consulting business. And what happened was, like, I wasn't used to saying no to things. I wasn't used to, like I didn't know how to set boundaries. And that was the big reason that the anxiety and depression started. Like, I started feeling this way it was because I was just being pulled in a million different directions. I was afraid to ask for what I was worth. I mean, I was working with these, these small, medium-sized baby product brands, literally changing their lives by treating these businesses as if they were my own, like on planes literally, like sometimes two, three times a week. And I just could not say no. And I was feeling agitated. I mean, beyond agitated, I was angry about some of the things that I was asked to do, some of the mistakes that were happening that were just like left for me to figure out. And at the time, I mean, I look back to what I was charging, like I wouldn't touch anything for like what I (inaudible). But also like, there's no resentment either, like this was me. And like I had to learn to set boundaries. And that was really, I mean, if I wouldn't have started this business, I believe that like big life changes, big opportunity, like big growth steps, having a child you know, things like this to kind of force you to, to grow, if I wouldn't have had this, I might have just skated just north of rock bottom my whole life. And that's really where I was at. I was smoking cigarettes all the time. I was drinking all the time. And I mean, not like drinking during the day. But like, my life was, I mean, sometimes it was I lived in New York, we went to lunch, but like, yeah, like I wasn't living a very healthy life.

Lesley Logan 8:27  

I want to highlight like, first of all, when we don't have boundaries in place, we eventually will resent people, but it's actually not their fault, it's our fault because we did not have boundaries in the first place. So I think like, it's not that it's okay to like resent things. It's like using resentment as a highlighting tool of like, here's, here's where I've been failing myself, you know. And also, I also want to highlight, you said, like, if I didn't have these things, I would have just skated by above rock bottom. And like, so many of us have been at rock bottom for so long that it feels normal. And just because it's normal, doesn't mean it's okay. And so you, so you talked about, like, you know, going back and like, being introspective and like learning about yourself, what was that like, and you did this while having a partner and I think a lot of our listeners can relate to like, you know, having to do some self-work, but also having someone there. So you're going through and changing things about yourself, but then you also have a partner there, like, how did that go?

Matt Gerlach 9:25  

I think that I mean, thank you for acknowledging that. And, you know, we've been together for 12 years, like, this is my longest relationship. I mean, we're, we're, we're hopefully going to be together forever. That's the plan. And, yeah, I mean, I don't know that everyone's capable of that. Like, I think that there's some relationships, whether they be romantic or just friendships where if one person is growing and the other is not like, I don't see how those work out, and I think that like that is a big source of anxiety. There were changes that I had to make in my life. I think anxiety at its most simplest form, it's like your inside is telling you something, and your outside environment is not what you need. I think that's a very simplified version of it. And I think there are definitely degrees of this. And I want to be very clear that I do not think it's very possible to get through this without some sort of help. So I'm not oversimplifying this whatsoever, but yeah, I was very fortunate. My partner was willing to grow with me. We went to couples therapy. That was a big part of our relationship and I don't exactly know how people go without it. We haven't been in a while and I don't think we won't go back one day, but it's really set us up for massive success. She said to us when we were graduating from going out so frequently, and we still went for check-ins here and there, but she said, the two of you have changed your dance. And it's one of the nicest compliments I've ever had because we have, you know what I mean? But um, you know, during this time, I mean, I would say, I'm a very vulnerable person, I've always been very vulnerable. And as I was understanding that I had emotions and feelings, I was able to share those with the close people around me. So I was letting him into what was going on the best I could. I grew up, my grandmother was a really lovely person to me, but she was a martyr, she was a very big martyr. So I always kind of had that example of like, I saw how that affected my family, you know, having someone like that. So I'd like to think that I tried and succeeded pretty well at not blaming him and not dumping things on him. And I took accountability for, you know, the feelings that I had. And the vulnerability. I mean.

Lesley Logan 11:40  

Yeah, I think that's so key. And I love that you shared twice you said like you, even though we can simplify what anxiety is, and it's sometimes easy to understand, that doesn't mean you don't need help to get it. I think it's really important to getting outside help because when you're in your life can be really hard. And I think it's so cool that your partner wanted to also go through therapy with you, because that way you guys can evolve together. That is and also like a shout-out to that therapist, because so many therapists you don't ever graduate and like you should. So I think that's really cool doesn't mean you don't go back, but you should like there should be a place. It's like if you went to college, and they never let you get out, that would be wrong. Like you have to graduate at some point. Right? You might go back to school, but, so tell me, you know, that was it. That's a journey. And we can we can keep diving back into that. But what did that lead you to doing? Because you were like smoking cigarettes every day and like doing this high, high stress consulting work, like, what did that change? How did that change the trajectory of what you're doing now?

Matt Gerlach 12:43  

I mean, it's a very slow change. I mean, like, you know, I mean, I, I love the way you asked that question too, because like, it's making me think about this, like, it is a process like, you know, and I would say that, like, it's not a linear at all, but I would say at its most simplest form is you are opening up, you're trying to open up, you're getting help opening up, you're learning that your feelings are okay to have, you're getting validation for them, you're asking questions about them, you're, it's hard, but you're being more vulnerable, you're telling, you know, you're admitting things about your life, like using the cigarette example that I don't want to be doing. And at the same time, you're learning how to be kind with yourself, like, I am not perfect. And one of the big parts, like I can really like, use this as an example. I've been writing a book for the past three and a half years through this whole healing journey. And it's been so helpful for me. And it took me like, two years of working with the coach weekly, to really get to a point where I felt good enough to share this with the world to understand that like, there's never a destination where we're perfect. You're opening up about that, as you're talking, you're getting the feedback along the way. And you're also at the same time learning to love yourself, the more compassion you are giving to yourself, the more you let others give you compassion. And like right now, I would say that the biggest thing that I've done is I've learned to love myself and accept myself and that nothing's wrong with me. And it's just a process and it takes time. But I think this is true. I think it's like, there is a pretty quick payoff to setting boundaries. There is a pretty quick payoff to making these changes, you know, using the cigarettes, you don't smoke cigarettes for a week, you're breathing better, you know, you go to the gym, you feel you know, you're feeling better. You set a boundary, you don't have negative energy in your life. And I think we kind of overestimate like, this isn't like you're putting in hard work for a year before you start feeling better.

Lesley Logan 14:50  

Right. Like it's not like when you write the book, you don't celebrate until it's published and it's a bestseller. Like there's little payoffs and you just basically summed up, like, this is why we have FYFs guys, the episode where I share your wins because you can go well I quit cigarettes a week ago, and I'm already breathing better. Like, you don't have to say like you don't have to wait to quit cigarettes a year to celebrate that you can actually start to notice payoffs. And I think how cool of you to kind of acknowledge the different payoffs you're having along the way from the changes you were making. But I also feel like in those two and a half years that you've so far three and a half years, you've been writing your book, I feel like this is a be it till you see it moment that you're in right now. Like, you're, like, to do everything here and become an author and is your book something we all can read? What are we, what are we like, what's the future book about?

Matt Gerlach 15:37  

Oh, my gosh, writing a book is, it's, um, it is a journey. But like, I'm not complaining about it. For me, it's probably been like the biggest healing. It's the biggest part of my healing journey, because it's been really introspecting. I have been writing down my life story as I remembered it. I had a writing coach, that was a little almost, I don't say more of a therapist, but a therapist along the way, too, like helping me understand this story and what had happened and so it's, it's kind of like, I spent like two years of this, like, kind of purging information, making sense of this, like taking what I'm understanding from writing to my therapist, to coaches and talking about it, even with friends. Hey, like, I remember this about my childhood. Did that happen to you? No, no, no that didn't happen. Like that's, that's next level, like, you know, you deserve some compassion for that. So it was a process. And so now, I have like, 2000 pages written, which is way, way, way too, way too much. But it's kind of like, what is the exact story that I wanted to tell. So I'm at the final, like, the stages of like, really putting it together. And yeah, I mean, this is supposed to help people who are just like me, who looked fine on the outside and underneath, there was, there was trauma, there were things that needed to be surfaced. And by doing so, the freedom that has come from this, I mean, my business like, I'm not saying this to brag, but I went off to make, my business turned into a million-dollar-a-year paycheck for me. And that wasn't from like somebody handing it to me, it was for me learning how to set boundaries, advocate for my worth, and really being able to come to the table and negotiate like, what I am worth relative to what I'm bringing value to the business for. So I couldn't have done that if I was still scared of my own shadow, which I was.

Lesley Logan 17:30  

That is a cool story of like, what can happen when you're so clear on your worth. And we can't get clear on our worth just because we like do a mantra, I am worthy every day. Like, you can say that and you can hear it. But the brain doesn't like dissonance. And if you had trauma in your life that made you feel unworthy your whole life, and especially when you're, the brain is forming, you know, like that. You can be told you're worthy, and you won't believe it until you deal with that trauma. 

Matt Gerlach 18:00  

The thing is, I mean, most people benefit from you having low self-worth, like the people that write your paycheck, generally benefit from you having lower self-worth, the person that is above I mean, pretty much everyone at work. I mean, shit rolls downhill, like, the person with the lowest self-worth is the one who is getting, like who's working the most and getting paid the last. You know, and this is true in relationships too. Like I'm not, I don't, if you're in an abusive relationship or with somebody who's a narcissist or something, they are benefiting from you having low self-worth, and not holding them accountable for being kind to you. And it just sucks it's a rotten race and, you know, I'm gay and like growing up like with the adversity I grew up with, like anyone who's in the marginalized category is at a huge deficit in the self-worth department. I mean, it's, it's really something that needs to be nurtured. 

Lesley Logan 18:52  

It's quite a problem in our society. Yeah, it, yes, it's an understatement. It can be disheartening when you're, when you're someone on the other side who wants to love though everyone who is marginalized and you can see that there, everyone in their life can even love them. But if one person doesn't it can also just ruin all of it. So Matt, you, 200 pages, I don't even know how you'll edit that down, but I'm excited for you and I can't, you have to let us know when the book is out. What are you excited about right now? I mean, aside from the book, like what is your mission? What are you being it till you see in this moment?

Matt Gerlach 19:30  

So I am working with one-on-one clients now and helping them overcome what I've overcome. It's really, I'm being called to work in a more purpose-driven line of work working with men in particular, who, who they look fine on the outside, but they know on the inside something is missing. They're not feeling fulfilled. They're high. They're generally a high-performing person. They've, they're responsible people and something's holding them back. I believe we all have some sort of traumatic situation in our past and a reason that I say that is because there's a doctor named Dr. Gabor Maté, who talks a lot about this. There's little T trauma, there's big T trauma. I think a lot of us don't argue the fact that big T trauma, things like violent crime are traumatizing. But multi-trauma would be your, you know, you grew up and your uncle said to put your food down, because you shouldn't be eating anymore. And you made a meaning about that. And that stayed with you your whole life. You know, I mean, there's, there's something stuck that's making us feel unfulfilled, and I'm helping my clients work through that. And it's been really exciting. And I'm leaving the baby product industry, slowly, but I'm building my client business and looking to build a community around this.

Lesley Logan 20:47  

Oh, thank you for being so sharing of that, because I do think a lot of people will hear someone like your story, and they'll go oh, and he just switched and he just got out of that. And now he's doing this. It's like, no, you have sometimes you have, you have a side hustle that's going to be your future dream. And it's okay to allow it to take form and shape. And be that until it's time for it to take over and for you to leave the baby product thing. I think that's also hilarious. You do look like a Gerber Baby. I'm just gonna say, if y'all are not watching this on YouTube, you should he's so cute. So, but also, yes, Dr. Gabor Maté, we'll have to talk about there's a friend I want you to know after about this on the show, but little T trauma and big T and I think a lot of times people who haven't had big T trauma, discount the little T trauma that and they just feel it wasn't that bad for me. And you know, as you said that, like, there's my husband and I were listening to this self-help guy. And I was sent in places on funk. And I was like, yeah know, I don't even know what like the little less it looks like. And Brad goes, oh, I do. And I was like, tell me more. You didn't know me. Right? And he was like, he told a story that I had told him at some point when I was when I was 11 years old. And he's like, that is not normal. And I was like, that's not normal? And he's like, not normal. Not normal at all. Very much not normal. And no wonder you have like hyper-vigilance. And I was like, oh, I just thought like, sweat you had to do like, you know, and you're like you don't, so sometimes we don't even give ourselves the actual permission to just go that thing that happened to me wasn't awesome. And y'all can't put it in a room and close the door. Like, like, I love how people like to say they can compartmentalize really well, the closet will explode. Like it's going to come out. You know, so what do you have? Do you have any, like suggestions or tips for people who may not be able to like reconcile, like, to understand that it's okay for them to acknowledge they have little T trauma and that they don't have to just go well, my life's fine on the outside. So I should just be happy. 

Matt Gerlach 22:57  

Yeah, I mean, like, I wish there was some just like magic bullet for this. But like, what's helped me more than anything. It's like learning from other people's stories. I became a huge reader while I was going through this, this healing journey. But I mean, it's podcast, too. Like, there's movies, I mean, even like, entertaining movies, like, you start to like, see, see these people like and hear other people's stories and like, learn how they're telling about their lives and how things have affected them. And you, it's really helped me along the way, like, open up to things in my life that weren't that bad. And realize that they had held me back so dramatically. And it's funny, you mentioned your story. Like I just started back at therapy recently, I've taken a break, I graduated for a while, and I wanted to go back. And I was telling him, you know about some parts of my childhood. And he was like, that sounds horrible, Matt. And it was interesting. Like, I mean, I, I'm still stewing on this right now, you know, because it's just like, it's hard to hear that. But then it's like, I mean, he's not the first person that said that to me, either. You know, like you said, and I think that like, the more that we're open to learning, it's an open to learning, I say, by reading other people's stories, but when you start becoming open to like, hearing that feedback, it's there for you, you know, I never was willing to talk about this stuff. And then like you said, it's like when you tell a friend a partner, hey, like, you know, I'm just making this up. You know, this didn't happen to me, but I'm just using it. Like, you know, my dad used to throw things across the living room every night. Like, when you tell somebody that and they're open to the feedback, you're gonna learn that that isn't normal. 

Lesley Logan 24:36  

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it's interesting like it feels you can feel so seen when someone says that and so it's, you know, it's a what a great comeback rather than I'm so sorry, because I really hate saying I'm so sorry that happened to you because I am sorry, but then what a lot of people say they say it's okay. And it's not okay like we have we been trained that when someone says I'm sorry, you say it's okay. And that's actually not true. Someone can be sorry. And it still can be not okay. But also like to say like that, that sounds that is horrible. That sounds really horrible. It's acknowledging, like, that did suck, like, that sucks, you know, somebody told me something the other day in a coaching call, I'm like, girl that sucks. So you are allowed to sit here and you're allowed to be upset right now, because that actually sucks. And we're so used to, oh, I just need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on and not, and not experience it. But the other thing is, and I actually thank you for sharing that your back in therapy. Just because you did therapy on it once before doesn't mean that like new level, get a new devil and a new perspective on oh, I actually that part that thing I hadn't actually dealt with all the way. You know, it happens or like we, we get back into old habits of doing things and so you know, something's just come back I just really want another look, another attention, another, another possibility at it. When you work with people, I know you mentioned men, what is your favorite thing to work with them on? Is there an age you'd like to work with? Like, what are people that your desire, like you desire to support look like?

Matt Gerlach 26:12  

Yeah. So the men that I work with are generally in the, in between 35 and 50 years old, somewhere in that point, but I mean, I hate to even pigeonhole someone by age, because you could be 70 years old and waking up and really want to get some help with this. And I think the mission, I wanted to share this earlier, the mission is really important to me. And you said this earlier, and I wanted to comment, but it's that this trauma, like left unhealed isn't going anywhere. Well, I mean, it is going somewhere, it's being passed on to your loved ones. And I think that we're in a time right now where the word generational trauma is becoming a lot more prevalent, where we are all starting to see what happens when this trauma is left on healed. And my mission is to help it stop from being passed on. And I'm the person in my family who has broken the cycle, and is really put in this amount of significant work through healing and breaking the cycle. And it's, I mean, it's, it's absolutely changed just, I see it myself, the way I react to things that happen, like I don't really get, I mean, sure, like I not always smiling, but like, I don't get to that level of anger. And like I don't play the victim. I mean, like you just learn to roll with things. And I'm excited to be a parent for that, like, probably for that reason. Because I know that I've put in this work, and I'm going to be able to be a good one.

Lesley Logan 27:36  

Oh my gosh, people like you and your husband should, or your partner, excuse me, should absolutely be parents, like the people who've done work should be parents.

Matt Gerlach 27:46  

But yeah, I mean, so really, like when I'm working with my clients, it's really like, I wish that like there was a bigger secret here. But a lot of it's around goal setting. But when you're traumatized, it takes work to get my clients to a place where they learn to articulate their goals and be able to give themselves permission for them. But everything is figureoutable as we know. And we do a lot of work to get the goals out to understand like what those limiting beliefs are. And we put a plan together and like when we're putting the plan together, it's there's time to negotiate, you know, like, you want to make a million dollars a year, but you know, you know that it's gonna take this amount of sacrifice, okay, let's do something less difficult, you know, but it's really being able to take control over your life and realize that you have agency in building the life that you want and making changes but like this, there's there's three fundamental principles that I really reinforced with my clients. And that is perfectionism, let go of it. And it's so hard. It's one of the hardest things that I've had to learn to let go of. 

Lesley Logan 28:50  

Oh, my God, I want, let's not forget the other two. But I just want to like my listeners, right now. Did you hear that? Because we are, I always say I am a recovering perfectionist. I've never, I don't think I'll ever be recovered. Because I feel like that's very perfectionist to think that you could be recovered. But I, my perfectionism last year, it snuck in, in the form of certainty, which some I was like, if I was listening to someone, they had no idea, but they're like, yes, certainty is just perfection in disguise. And I was like, oh, I see. It just snuck on in there. It came in at a different in a different hat. But like so perfectionism is so hard. We are right, we have to let go because it's holding us all back. And maybe, you know, more research to me, but I feel like there's a lot of perfectionists in the world because of how they were raised. If I just do these things, right, if I just don't make too much noise, if I just get perfect grades, then everything will be fine at home. And that just so you know, it wouldn't have been like that is not that's actually not the grades you got and like you being too loud as it's all those things, none of that would have changed anything saying, you know, so but it's so hard because you're raised, so even subconscious, like, if I just do it like this, if I'm just this perfect little person, then it will it won't, this bad stuff will stop happening. Anyways, you have two more things. I just had to highlight that because I have so many listeners who just struggle with this.

Matt Gerlach 30:15  

I mean, I appreciate you stopping on this and I'm going to take a tiny step further on this perfectionism has honestly been the hardest thing in my life to overcome. And it was because I couldn't see it. Like, I literally remember growing up and my mom and my dad telling me you're so hard on yourself. And then my friends like up until I mean, probably the past two years. I'm 40. So literally the first 38 years of my life, I could not like get a handle on this because I didn't know any different. Like you mean that if you slip up in a podcast interview, you just berate yourself all night for that, like. 

Lesley Logan 30:49  

Don't worry. 

Matt Gerlach 30:51  

I mean, literally, like that's the level of like, of harshness, I was to myself, it was horrible. And I mean, I've saved well, I've done well in my life financially, but like, my biggest regret would be that I wish I enjoyed life a little bit more. On that same hand, you mean you just don't save 90% of like, what you have to spare. I mean, you like, this is all this perfectionism and like you said, it's like when you're a child, you try to control what you control. I mean, and again, I I'm not an expert in this, but it's like why people cut, you know, like, they want to control that pain. And it's a big, big, big topic.

Lesley Logan 31:25  

Yes, we there are so many more experts we could have on this actually, some of you listeners just came to my mind when you, Matt, when you said like, you'll just berate yourself all night long. So many people are like so hard on themselves—I should be further by now, I should have done this by now—that is all just like that is all distraction. And that harshness is keeping you from being able to goal-set because you can't goal-set if you can't set realistic goals that you can, not realistic that you like, they're so easy you can achieve them tomorrow, but like, they should stretch you and also you're allowed to want to be able to do them and then you're allowed to reach for them and not put like, I'm going to do this in five years. It's like, well, you can but also like, why put something on yourself that you're going to miss and then you just berate yourself anyways, you know, like we've got there's got to be a balance. Anyways, you have two more things. 

Matt Gerlach 32:12  

Yeah. So the second one would be forgiveness, this is of yourself and others. And it's honestly still (inaudible).

Lesley Logan 32:18  

Raise your hand, everyone who's listening if you're a perfectionist, and can forgive yourself. 

Matt Gerlach 32:26  

I mean, it really is tied to the perfectionism thing. And I think like, I mean, I think forgiving of others, for me has always been significantly easier than forgiving myself. But I mean, I will tell you like, I mean, I'm not perfect in life. I mean, I just turned 40 a year ago, and like when I'm not eating as well as what I mean, like I'm doing this to myself. My partner's starting a cookie business right now I'm eating cookies literally every single day. And just to be clear, just like two or three, I mean, (inaudible), but like, like, I'm able to be kind to myself about this, you know, I mean, and I thought that I couldn't, I didn't think I deserve airtime until I learned to forgive myself and learn that I wasn't perfect. I feel better when I take care of myself. And I'm just not doing it always perfectly. And I log this when I look back to like, how much better I take care of myself than a year ago. Oh, my god it is so much better but it's not perfect.

Lesley Logan 33:19  

Yeah, but I love that forgiving yourself. It's so we have to, we have to because that's when we can learn from it. You're not going to learn from it in who you want to be and how you want to change things if you don't. Yeah. Number three, what's the third thing? 

Matt Gerlach 33:36  

Faith and hope, trust that things work out the way that they're supposed to on some levels. You know, I mean, you just like it's funny, because at the beginning of this year, I happen to pick up the book You're a Badass. 

Lesley Logan 33:50  

Oh, yeah. Jen Sincero

. Yeah.

Matt Gerlach 33:52  

Yeah. And I just like I actually had it in my closet for like, five years, I never read it, I picked it up and I just, things happen at the right time, your very example, things happen how they're supposed to. And this book just like really, like set me up like for the year in a great way. But it said something like just so eloquent about like, faith and hope and a higher power. Like you have to have it. You're only going to get so far in life without it. Yeah. And I have seen this, like, I'm a living testament of this the past like four months. I just like I'm accomplishing things that I've never thought I'd be able to. I do the best I could do and learn that I can't control the outcome. And when things happen, they happen. I mean, and it's allowing me to have a lot more creative freedom and to move forward with things knowing that I, like my partner and I live in L.A., we have a nice house, you know, things financially don't work out quite the way. I mean, we might not be able to live here always like and I just hope that it's gonna work out and faith that if it doesn't, then we have to move somewhere smaller that we're supposed to move somewhere smaller, and it's just like, really.

Lesley Logan 34:56  

Believing that you can like yeah, no, do you know that I heard something like faith and fear are the exact same thing. If you are living in fear, you are actually living in faith. It's just a faith of, its faith that you wouldn't want to actually admit. Like, if you fear something, you actually are believing that that thing could happen, which is the same thing as having faith in something that could happen that you want to happen. And so yeah, so if you're someone who has fear in your life, you are actually a good faith person who's gonna turn the flashlight around.

Matt Gerlach 35:25  

Exactly. It's all energy going somewhere. So if you're, if you're spending energy, in your mind thinking about something, then it will be something positive. 

Lesley Logan 35:36  

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, Matt, we could talk forever. We're gonna take a brief break. Find out how people can find you, follow you, or work with you. 

Lesley Logan 35:42  

So Matt, where can people go to work with you get to know you more, get on your waitlist for your future book, like what do you have for us?

Matt Gerlach 35:50  

Awesome. Yeah, I would love for you to check out my website, mattgerlach.com, the link will be in the show notes. But you can schedule a free 30-minute phone call, learn if my one-on-one mentorship would be a fit for you. No pressure, I am very interested in just talking to anybody who thinks that I might be able to help them get out of their place of feeling stuck and into a place of more fulfillment and alignment. Schedule a free 30-minute call. Like I said, I'm very active on Instagram. My handle is iammattgerlach and that'll be in the show notes as well. But we'd love to hear from you and more to come on the book. It's, this has been one of the things I mean, and I think it's taught me like, it's been like, just like a, like such a good lesson in patience. You can't control much around a book, you know, especially your first one. So I'm just am cool as a cucumber about it hoping like a 2025 release but it's a process.

Lesley Logan 36:42  

I bet you it will happen. I bet you between, between your work you've done with yourself on perfectionism and your drive to help people. You know, it'll happen. Yeah.

Matt Gerlach 36:53  

Well, you know what it is? I mean, it's like, and this is interesting. Like, I mean, I wasn't an artist, like I would have literally like, told you like, I don't have an artistic creative bone in my body, like five years ago. And so to now be here doing this and like to show that you can learn this, like, I mean, I, I'm an artist, now look at me, you know. So there's, but there's been a learning curve, you know, I mean, you it's been, it's been quite an interesting place to be like tackling so many things that I just was not good at and had to learn how to get good at it. But it's possible. 

Lesley Logan 37:23  

Oh my god, I love your vulnerability. I love your honesty. Like, it's so refreshing and also needed. I know that people listening are in the same boat. Like, why isn't I haven't done this thing yet. I haven't made this thing happen. Or I'm you know, and it's like, patience. And also like, wow, look what you've done in that amount of time. You know, like, it's, yeah. And also, just so you all know any overnight success you think it's not they're not overnight, it's like 15 years of work. And then you finally stumble upon them like, wow, this person is like they've made it.

Matt Gerlach 37:58  

(Inaudible) interesting like, lately, like, I've like realize this like and I've seen this and this has been part of the healing and part of what I help my clients with. It's like I ask myself now do you really want to be at that destination is like what's at that destination? And I don't really want to be at the destination. I want to be able to pay my bills and stuff while I'm on the journey, you know? This destination is, this is the destination right now. It's putting in the work and living life. Sorry, you're off there but I wanted to give you credit.

Lesley Logan 38:26  

No, I think that's really beautiful. And you've had several people who listen or write a book and they're like, I thought it would just like, take off. And it's like, no, no, you actually get to just keep working on it. But now it's printed. And now like, we have flashcards, you guys, and like we, I'm like okay, I guess I wrote all the, I wrote all the copy, it's done. And we're like doing the photo shoot. And during the photo shoot, I created two more cards. So it's not done, I get to go do it. And then once it's printed, it's, it's, that's done. But now I have to just because I built it doesn't mean someone's Googling for that product, I have to actually talk about it. So it is really important to like be very clear about what is the destination and like so what's the most important thing right now the important thing right now is the work you're doing to create it and then when it is created you the next important thing will be what you're doing so I just love your patience. I just got a lesson in it. So thank you so much. Really quick before I let you go, you've given us so much but, Be It Action Items—bold, executable, intrinsic targeted steps to be it till you see it. What do you have for us? 

Matt Gerlach 39:31  

Wow, I think the best way I can answer this question is that you could keep going. You need to stay on the journey and celebrate the small wins along the way. This perfectionism thing is a real thing. And once you can even make the smallest little dent in that, you will see so much freedom happen to keep going. I mean, I feel like I have only penetrated 10% of this perfectionism wall and I'm already seeing how much freedom it's allowed me to continue pursuing my dream, pursuing my life to go down road A. And maybe that's not the right one and go back and restart. And you just learn, like you said, this patience, but celebrating these small wins and just getting that perfectionism out of the way is just a key to accomplishing greatness.

Lesley Logan 40:29  

Okay, a follow-up question really quick. So you've gotten 10% of the way, what is the first 1% step?

Matt Gerlach 40:40  

Getting help, I mean, I think it's getting some help. I think it's talking to somebody you know, and it could be a really good friend, it could be your mom, if she's helpful, your dad if he's helpful, your partner, but I think you need to be talking to someone about what's going on, I just and it might take time. I mean, it might take you six months before you can even get a real solid emotion out to latch onto and start digging into but.

Lesley Logan 41:04  

Yeah, I actually love that so much. Because if you actually would share a perfectionist thing that you're doing, you would hear it out loud and the person next who's like, it's amazing the way it is. Share it with the right person, don't share it with the person who made you a perfectionist.

Matt Gerlach 41:21  

Yeah I'm gonna use this example. It's like, you know, like, I'm just gonna making this up. But it's funny. It's like the mom who's like, doing everything right. And she's like, I can't go to bed at night because I'm making like homemade cupcakes for my daughter's school and her daughter's like nine months old. Like, you get to know the like, like, you can't do it all and like, I think when you start getting feedback, like what it like some things have got to go sometimes on this to do list. But your nine-month-old daughter will never remember these cupcakes.

Lesley Logan 41:52  

I know. It's so true. It's so true. Every first person, like people, like my friends have a baby's got a one year birthday party and I'm like, can I bring a box? Because I don't think they're gonna remember what I bought them like, do they? Do they need a gift? You live in an apartment in L.A.? Like, what? How little can we like make this a big deal? Because they don't remember it.

Matt Gerlach 42:15  

I mean, it's feedback, you know, it's getting feedback. And I can tell you like, I don't think there was a single person on my healing journey that I opened up to that I felt safe opening up to that said anything negative to me. Anything that wasn't helpful. That's most people are good people that are going to, but again, so you know, select wisely.

Lesley Logan 42:36  

Yeah, yeah, but you're right. You're right. Most people are and also when you if you do that, and you hear someone shoot you down, that is just a sign that oh, that is that is someone who needs to be cut out. And that's okay for right now while you go find other people. It might be helpful to know that but I think we know that already. Before we even go do that. So I think you're right, select wisely. Matt, you're so amazing. And what you're doing is so cool. And I love that you shared your be it journey with us and what you're doing and your vulnerability I think it's gonna help so many people. So y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Matt Gerlach, tag the Be It pod. Share this with a friend who needs to hear this, especially the person whose life looks amazing on the outside. They probably have a lot on the inside that they need to work on. So give this a share to them and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 43:29  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 44:11  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 44:16  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 44:21  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 44:28  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 44:31  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Have you ever struggled with maintaining a positive mindset? In this episode, Lesley shares heartwarming wins from the community, highlights the importance of protecting your energy, and celebrates the power of perseverance. Don't miss out on these uplifting stories—tune in and find your motivation today!

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How Laurie set mental boundaries to protect her energy from negative clients.
• Ainsley’s journey helping a grieving client find joy through Pilates.
• Balancing personal life and full classes for enhanced focus and well-being.
• The progress and success of the eLevate program’s fourth round.
• The importance of consistency and showing up for long-term success.

Episode References/Links:

• eLevate Mentorship Program
• OPC Summer Tour

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:43  

Hi, Be It babe. Welcome to your Friday episode. Welcome to us sharing some fun wins. This is a quickie. It's always a quickie. And hopefully you hear a win of yours because it might remind you of a win you had in the past and you might be having a day where you're like, "Oh, this day." And then, and then you hear your win or you hear someone else's win you go, "Oh, I had a win like that." 

Lesley Logan 1:05  

So here we go. We're going to start doing some wins. The first one is going to be from Laurie Sindlinger. "FYF, I was feeling a little rundown from teaching lately and noticing I was taking a lot of my clients' negative energy with me long after the sessions were over. I started this week by taking care of my own needs and my family's needs and bringing a different energy into the studio myself. When I saw the clients that always complain about their lives and it kind of dump on me, I put up a mental barrier. I listened, but immediately let it go and focus my energy on the good work I could give them. I'm not sure if they noticed, but I did not carry the bad energy with me for the rest of the day. And I felt great all week. Also, one of my clients brought me a cute hair clip today that lays flat behind your head. So I thought it'd be useful for Pilates. And I finished viewing and taking notes on two of the summer camp classes. I bought a day pass and could not attend live, so I'm working my way through them all little by little." Laurie, I just love this. Like I really, really do. You know, there are those energy vampires and we're like, how do we get this person in our lives? Like how did this happen? And so I just really appreciate you sharing your way of creating space between their negative energy and what you were doing in a day. So thank you so much. 

Lesley Logan 2:20  

Okay. We have Ainsley who is in eLevate four and she has a couple of wins I'm going to share. So one of them is, "Last night I saw a gorgeous new client who had lost her husband six weeks ago suddenly. Her grief oozed out of her in a mix of shock and sadness and blankness. She almost looked translucent. A mutual friend recommended me to her. Her goal is not to think about things when she's with me and to get strong enough in her ankles to go back to running. By the end of our session, I provided the distraction by getting her moving with her feet and straps. Deliberately done a demo of the variety we will be doing. She laughed so hard and smiled saying if her husband could see her now. It was so precious. She left last night with a smile on her face, pink sheets and grateful, signed up for one to ones and mat classes to give her a new focus. It was yet another reminder of how beautiful this practice is and how truly special the effects can be.I feel so grateful to be able to do this." Oh my God. Ainsley, like, what a gift. You're not only giving her the gift of moving and potentially getting running back in her life, but also like something she can laugh at when thinking about her husband and not the grief that she's going through. So what a beautiful space you're holding. Ainsley is in our eLevate round four group. It's been so fun to watch her grow as a teacher. So here's her other win, "Last weekend was amazing. Thank you all. I'm so grateful. I get the opportunity to be in this group." She's talking about eLevate. "I'm excited for some space this weekend to move and practice and the homework and got to practice with JM before her trip tomorrow. My lighter mornings and nights means I can walk the dog earlier, but four clients allowing me to take a couple of extra sessions on to pay for Vegas and Cambodia. So excited to have full classes and one to ones to allow me to practice all my new learnings and curiosities. Ah, Ainsley, I'm so, like, I love this so much. I know this is, like, after weekend three and we just wrapped weekend five and it's just like, can you believe how fast the time has flown? She actually got to be in Vegas for weekend four and I get to see her in Cambodia. She's coming for the second time, which like, absolutely happens. People come to Cambodia for the second time. So Ainsley, thank you for sharing your wins. They're like so fun and present. 

Lesley Logan 4:26  

Okay. So my win is that eLevate round four weekend five happened last week. And I am just so proud of this group of women. They're epic. They're amazing. It has, you know, for some of them, it was so much information at the beginning. It was very overwhelming for others. It was maybe not so much, but then as they've integrated it into their lives, into their practice, I've watched them have so much more confidence in their movement practice, not only as movement professional, like teachers, but also in their ability to show up and be present for others. And it's just great. And you saw that in Ainsley's win. So like, you know, her win is kind of like, that's the win I'm trying to express here. So that, just that round five has finished their fifth weekend. They're not done yet. They actually have like more time and then they get to graduate. And so of course we'll celebrate that win, but just it, time flies when you're having fun. And it's just, I cannot believe that we're already here to this 5th weekend. My other win is that we are on a summer tour. Happened. We literally wrapped round five eLevate. We taught a class in Las Vegas and then we got in the car and went on this tour and y'all like it's our 6th tour. And my, my, obviously like, we're powered by Balanced Body so it's really nice to have an amazing sponsor, but I'm also just so proud of all the toes that we worked with. They have done such an incredible job, like making sure their community comes out to these classes. And so the, the wins I have this week are more community based and more based in, in other people's coming to things, which I have no control over, but where the win in that for me, is it like, the consistency I've had in showing up day after day, week after week, year after year pays off. And if you are stuck, if you're feeling like you're doing something and it's not turning into anything, just keep going, just keep going. Sometimes you'll do things and no one will show up. And sometimes you do things and a lot of people show up and you learn from both. So you're winning or you're learning, which is winning to me. So I just, a couple of big, huge landmark wins, which are not necessarily the types of wins that I always share because I want you to think about when it's happening, not the culmination of things. But, but please, please, please share, like, celebrate everything that did happen. It doesn't always go the way you planned, so I'm not telling you that it's gone off without a hitch. There've been some hitches, but the fact that we are here on the sixth tour and we're having the time of our lives and really enjoying ourselves is the win.  

Lesley Logan 6:56  

So, all right, let me leave you with a little mantra. There's poetry in everything if I look for it. There is poetry in everything if I look for it. There's poetry in everything if I look for it. Are you looking for poetry today? I hope you do. Make sure you send your wins into the Be It Pod and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 7:14  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 7:57  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 8:02  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 8:06  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 8:13  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 8:17  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this special solo episode, Brad Crowell shares insights into his personal and professional journey of being it till he sees it in 2024. Discover how Brad has been working on their business, redefining his role, and improving his personal life by prioritizing sleep and setting clear goals. Get inspired by actionable advice on how to envision and create your ideal daily schedule.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The distinction between working on your business vs. working in it.
• Brad’s strategies for reducing travel and focusing on business growth.
• The importance of defining clear job roles and responsibilities.
• Shifting from an operator to an owner mindset for business success.
• Find out Brad’s practical steps to improve his sleep habits.
• Insights into creating an ideal daily schedule for personal growth.
• Actionable advice on how to work on your life, not just in it.

Episode References/Links:

• OPC Summer Tour
• Cambodia February 2025 Retreat
• Project Management Tool
• Slack

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

We started this podcast, Be It Till You See It, because we realized that there was a hole between how do you get from point A to point B? What we found is that there's a lot of podcasts out there that talk about this kind of stuff. But then they leave out the details and the action items.

Lesley Logan 0:18  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Brad Crowell 1:01  

Welcome back to another episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. Today is gonna be a little bit different from our typical Thursday episode. My name is Brad Crowell. I'm the co-host of the pod here, along with Lesley, as I'm sure you're very well aware, but if you're new, welcome. We started this podcast, Be It Till You See It, because we realized that there was a hole between, you know, like, how do you get from point A to point B, where you're currently doing this thing? It's been this thing that you have just, I don't know, whether you've fallen into it or is a career that you decided to do or whatever it might be. But now it's not satisfying anymore, and you want to be somewhere else. How do you get to that other point, while you're still doing what you're currently doing? And what we found is that there's a lot of podcasts out there that talk about this kind of stuff, but then they leave out the details and the action items and how people can actually get that ball rolling for themselves. For example, like, and then I went and I got a million-dollar investment and I started my company and it's like, well, how did you go get the million-dollar investment? That's kind of important, right? So when we sat down to visualize what the Be It Pod will be all about, it will be creating a platform where we can interview amazing guests. And we can ask them how they are being it till they see it in their life. And then how they can share some tips and advice with you that you can use today right now taking action on right now. And I'm going to share a little bit with you today about how I have been being it it till I see it in my own life this year 2024. And then I've got a little bit of advice for you as well, based on what I've been working on. 

Brad Crowell 2:34  

So, you know, I think that it's super important that we take some time to sit down and think about this stuff. For example, prepping for this podcast, I, I sat down and I just had to think and I had to reflect on my own life, like the actions I've been taking and the things that I've been doing. And we don't do that very often. It's funny how we just get caught up in maintaining the day-to-day, but whenever I spend time working on ourselves, right, as a business coach, a lesson I often are talking to our clients and we say, Hey, you want to make sure you're working on your business instead of just in your business, right. And so what we consider working in your business is anything that is maintaining what you've already created, done, built, sold, etc, right? So if you've got a studio, Pilates studio let's say, and you've got clients coming in the door, and you're teaching those clients, that would be maintenance that is working in your business, not working on your business. Working on your business might be, hmm, I need to bring in new clients, I'm going to start a newsletter for my clients so that I can help them, equip them with the information that they need to share with the world what we're doing in this amazing corner of it, right. And so I need to figure out how to set that up, I need to figure out how to, you know, like, what, what is the automations, the tech that's involved with this. And then I need to write those things. And then I need to send that email, right, that we'll be working on your business, you're not maintaining the thing that you've already sold. And it's so easy to understand that concept when it comes to business. But why don't we ever apply that same thing to our personal life, right? If we've got a family, and we've got kids, and we've got a job, and we get up and we got a routine, and we do our day to day, but then at night our routine has been you come home, you cook dinner, you, you know, you finally get a chance to sit down, you watch an episode on Netflix or something and you drink a beer and you go to bed. And then you get up the next day. And you just do it over and over again, right? We didn't leave ourselves time in our day to work on ourselves. We've been working in our life, but we've not been working on our life. So I think it's very important that we set time aside to do that. So actually, I'm already like way ahead of myself in my Be It Action Items for you. But, I wanted to just discuss a little bit about the concept behind the pod what we're doing, why we do it and how we do it, too. So, but, let's get into a little bit I wanted to share with you a little bit about me. 

Brad Crowell 4:54  

All right, welcome back. So there are two areas where I wanted to share about my life where I have been being it until I've been seeing it and one is professional life, and the other is personal life. So let's first talk about professional life. So let me share this with you let me set the scene. This year, we decided last year was so hectic and crazy, we were like 2024, we're not going to travel, we are going to do our best to sit still to be still because we know that when we are in one place, and we're not interrupting ourselves, and we're not changing our routine all the time, we can really, really grow our business. When we travel, we end up having to backburner the working on the business like I was just saying a little bit ago, then we're only during the maintenance, we're only you know, like, we've got amazing clients and we'd love to serve them and all those things. But we still need to set aside dedicated time to work on the business where we get to move it forward and maybe bring in new clients or start a new program or change an existing program or something like that. We decided we were constantly interrupted by travel, which is something that we love to do. And eventually what we would only love to do like someday we want to be investing in companies and traveling, travel is my drug of choice, it's absolutely my favorite thing to do. But, I recognize right now, it could be in the way, right. The second thing that we really wanted to change with our professional goals, and me specifically, was I wanted to have a very clear definition of what it means to be the CEO, what my job role actually is. And for anyone else out there, you know, who is an entrepreneur, a small business owner, like we are, you end up doing all the things, every single thing, you do everything from cleaning the space to like, I don't know, like, every single step of the business, obviously, we created it from start to finish. So here's the beauty on that. The beauty around that is that I understand every single part of the business, the problem is I can do every single part of the business. Right? And that that actually leads to issues because should I be doing all these parts of the business that I created over the years? Or should I be giving them to other people, and what I've found is that I'm still doing stuff that at this point in the game should be done by somebody else. And what it's doing is it's actually restricting me from working on the business again, to grow the business because I'm working in the business because A. maybe I'm just good at the thing, I feel safe doing it, I feel productive doing it, you know, I enjoy doing it, all those kinds of things. The reality, though, is that somebody else should be doing that, because my time, attention, my mind should be put towards how do I bring in more sales? How do I connect with another company that we can work with? How do we, you know, partner up some way with some other organization or whatever, so that we can grow exponentially instead of me building a website or me writing an email or me whatever, which is still important to be to do. But again, it's in the business not on, right? And so, what I realized is that there's no actual clear definition of my role. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Who am I, when I look at my team, I should easily be able to say, you know, I don't want to do the not my job thing. That's not the point of this. But I do want to say this is what I'm going to work on. And what that means is that all these things I've been doing need to be distributed amongst the team to other people. And so what the whole goal has been is like, if we clearly define our job roles, then we can also go down the line. And we can be defining everyone's job roles so that there's clarity, there's understanding people understand what the goal is of their position, what they're doing, why they're doing it, all those kinds of things. And it allows me the freedom to also, as the owner, not get involved when it's not something that I should be focusing on. Because my focus should be on something else. So the reason that we want to do this is that we really want to grow our company. We want to grow, we want to touch 100,000 people's lives with Pilates. Right? And to date right now, I can tell you over the years, we are about 15% of the way. Right? We have had, you know, I don't know, maybe it's 15, 16, whatever, thousand people come through our programs, our memberships, you know what, and that could have been a few years ago, or maybe there's still members now. And that's really, really exciting. But how do we get way bigger because we believe wholeheartedly that Pilates makes better humans, it makes better people, it allows you to do life better. When you feel good about yourself, you're gonna be better for the people that are in your lives, the people that you're serving, that you're helping, that you're loving, that you're working with, all those things, it's gonna make you better because you feel good in your own body. You feel good in your own mind. Right? So that is why we have this epic, huge goal. This like, wow, that's a really amazing and exciting goal. And we're on the way there, right? So that's the big goal for us. So the next question is, what did I do to take action? What did I do to put these things into place so that one, we could reduce travel, and two, we could really define our internal roles, which will have that trickle-down effect. So the first thing is, right away at the beginning of the year, we stopped booking ourselves for weekend trips, we realized as much as it's exciting to go do things like, fly somewhere for three days and teach a bunch of workshops, and then fly home and make money doing it, which is really important and exciting and necessary. The reality is that we, it's just simply a distraction, right? There are better ways for us to make that money than, maybe, we fly to somewhere to teach a workshop for a few days. Better is the wrong word. There are better for our company ways, if, what if we took that time and energy and focus and we said, how can we bring in more people to get us to the 100,000 person goal to make that money instead? And we forced ourselves to make the money that way? Right? Think about that, because it's a little bit scary. I need that money now, right? And there's an opportunity right here in front of me where someone could pay me money. But I realize it's actually while it would be a lot of fun, and it's amazing. It's also a distraction from the overall goal, right? And so we stop booking ourselves for these weekend trips, although those always happen in the future. Right? So there's a little bit of an irony here, and I'll talk about that in just a minute. But the second thing is we sat down, Lesley and I, sat down, and we had a full-blown debrief between the two of us on like, what do I actually want to be doing? What do I actually want to be doing with my day, my time, and in this case, it was really challenging. We had this conversation, and we went back and forth, went back and forth. And then we thought we had it figured out, and then we have a coach ourselves. We then sat down later with our coach, and we said, hey, this is what we're thinking. And from that, we realized, actually, even the things that we thought that we wanted to be doing in our business to help us move forward. No, there are some there are even parts of that, that we should be giving to our team. And we should shift really into this idea of how do we become an owner instead of an operator in the business, right, and that that was another amazingly challenging conversation. And it allowed us to kind of shift things and tweak things a little bit more. And this been a multiple months conversation, y'all think, you know, like, I thought it was gonna be, hey, we'll just get it done. And no big deal. Here we go. And then it'll be a trickle-down effect to our whole team. No, we've been working on it for months to really dial this in and get this understood correctly. You know, if we're not intentional about it, we'll just keep letting it go on and on and on. So we have put a deadline on that for us to actually understand when we're going to be, you know, how do we have this like, concretely solidified, and then we're going to write our own job descriptions as if we were hiring ourselves, hey, we're looking for a CEO, who is this, this, this, and these are the expectations of the role, they're going to do these things, 1-2-3-4-5. And then these are the qualifications of the person that we would want in the role A-B-C-D-E and then you know, you'd be joining a team. So, we're literally going to write a job posting for me, even though I already have the role. And then we're gonna do the same thing for Lesley. And then we're gonna go down the line, we're going to do that for each person on our team. Right. So that's what we've been doing to take action, and a little bit of obstacles and challenges that we've had. First off, I said, we talked about it in a minute. The travel, even though we decided, great, awesome, we're gonna stop doing those weekend gigs. The irony is that we had already booked ourselves, basically, most of 2024 was already booked before we made the decision to slow down our travel or stop traveling. And you know, don't worry, we're not going to stop our tours, we're not going to stop our retreats. But it's just the smaller quick trips, they they get in the way. So we've been really reducing those. But we, we had so much travel already booked, it's now June. And we hadn't actually, we this will be the first month that we're actually staying put the entire year, which is amazing to me that it's happened this way. Secondly, it's hard, like for the internal roles, it's actually hard to know what you want to be doing versus what you should be doing. Or the other way around—what you should be doing versus what you want to be doing. Like you feel like you should be doing all these things. And you might not want to be doing them. But you still feel like you have to. Right? And when we were talking with our coach about owner versus operator, she really pushed us hard on this because she's like, yeah, okay, maybe, maybe you can do that, and you feel like you should be doing that. But that's not something that an owner of a business would do. Like an owner, you know, looks at it and says, this is my company, I'm not even involved in the day to day, really what I'm doing is I'm helping connect the dots with other companies, and then introducing those people to my team so that they can work out the details and do all these kinds of things. Right. And it's such a different way of envisioning the role. You know, like, for example, here's another great example, we have a client who is taking a full-time job, and it has nothing to do with Pilates, this full-time job, but she owns a studio. And so she is being forced into being this role of an operator or sorry, out of the role of being the operator and into the role of being the owner. Right? And it's, it feels way different, right? Even like her life is not going to be 24/7 Pilates anymore. But she will be running her team, you know, and she'll still be involved. And she'll still teach one or two classes a week, but instead of it being like full schedule teaching Pilates, she's shifting into this other role. And so there's an interesting opportunity here for her to actually become the owner of the business and not be involved in the minutiae of the decision-making of the day-to-day, right? And on a grander scale, that's what we've been trying to do for ourselves, too. 

Brad Crowell 15:10  

So let's talk a little bit about like results and how it's been going so far. So, for example, what the travel what was we love going to Cambodia, we obviously have a place there, it's one of our favorite things to do. We have an amazing group of people coming with us at the end of this year, and we had an opportunity to teach in Indonesia, in Jakarta, and another opportunity to teach in India. And we were trying to bolt those on to the end of the, the Cambodia Pilates retreat. And after like, we've been trying to negotiate things, figure things out, we put a presentation together, we did all this effort. And then then we sat down and realized like, this will be so cool, amazing. I've never been to Indonesia, I would love to go to Jakarta. It'd be so cool. I've never been to India, I've always wanted to go there. But this is the wrong time to do these things. And even though that opportunity is there, we should not do this, we should actually come back home, be with our dogs, get back to work and focus. And again, like make our current business work better, bring in more money, the way that we are building this business, instead of taking the side trip to travel to these other amazing, exotic, incredible, you know, places. And so that's one example, we already made that decision. And so we're going to be doing our Cambodia retreat and then come home. Also, as I mentioned this year, June, July is like the first two months of the year, and that we'll actually be home more than the rest of the year, which is really exciting. It's actually going to allow us I think, to get in the groove, and help me with one of my personal goals, which I'll talk about next. This has made me feel you know, excited to, and confident, right, because we have started to see the business shifting away from the one-off travels here and there, bam, bam, bam, it's forced us to focus on our membership for OPC. It's forced us to really pay attention to how we're doing things, why we're doing things, reorganize things. And it's given me a lot of confidence because we've actually been able to switch our income out and away from that other income stream to our business, which is great, because that means a larger community. That means we're touching more people's lives with Pilates. It's allowing us to see this bigger picture and get to that 100,000 person goal. You know, another thing is, we've been really thinking how can we do some non-travel opportunities, such as, for example, we just finished Summer Camp. OPC had summer camp in the beginning of June and it was amazing. It was amazing. We had hundreds of people with 14 teachers from all around the world. And we had this incredible experience where Lesley and I stayed home. And we got a chance to still bring Pilates to the world. And we had participants from all over the place. Europe to Australia, it was incredible. So those kinds of things now that we're starting to see, wow, we can realize our overall goal and reduce our travel. That's super cool. 

Brad Crowell 18:09  

Okay, cool. Let's talk about that personal development. Right. So that's the second part of this episode here. So let me, let me just lay this out for you. Honestly, in my personal life, the thing that I really wanted to change is sleep. And this is something you've probably heard me talk about before. I always told myself, I'd sleep when I'm dead. And I literally ended up in the hospital when I was in college because I didn't sleep enough. I was supposed to shake Aretha Franklin's hand, but I never did. I never got the chance to walk across the stage during my graduation ceremony because I ended up in the ER, instead. You know, I found myself negotiating with the doctors. Well, how much sleep is enough sleep? How much sleep do I have to get? Right? And they told me, you absolutely have to get six hours of sleep in order for your body to function. And I don't know, I think the guy made it up on the spot. But my parents were standing right there. And they said you can't drive a car unless you got six hours of sleep that night. And I was fresh out of college. So I didn't even have a car. And I was like, damn it. I have to go sleep six hours now, right? And my whole life have been like, Alright, I have to get six hours, I have to get six hours. Well, I made this decision. What would it be like if I got seven hours? Right? And I found it really challenging to do. First off, it's a decision that I had to make. And second off, you know, I have to actually hold to a schedule, which is not my, my forte. And you know, I have to want to shut my brain down and go to sleep. Right? You know, but what I do know is that it will make me feel better during the day when I have a solid night's sleep and my body can get into this rhythm, right? So here's a couple actions that I've taken to start to put this into place. First off, we obviously have talked about this as well we have an Oura Ring like mine, it's, it allows me to track the sleep. And it actually tells me like hey, you know take it easy today or whatever. Because you while you slept for it. You were in bed for six hours or eight hours or whatever. You only slept for five and your toss and turns, you get up four times, whatever. But this is a helpful tool to actually monitor my sleep and see the results tangibly. So I actually decided, I made this decision, I've been a night owl my entire life. And there's only been one time consistently in my life over a couple years period where I was like, in bed by midnight, and that was when I was working for someone else. And that's because I would get up at six, I'd be in yoga classes, 6:30, I'd be in the office by 8:30 before everybody got there, so I could get my thoughts organized for the day, everything started at nine. And I did that for many years. And as soon as I left that job, and I started working for myself, that midnight, sleep time went out the window, and I started staying up till three, four in the morning just to work and to, you know, have time for myself. So I decided recently, all right, I'm going to set a sleep, hard, hard deadline for 1 am. Alright, 1am. And then I'm going to get up at eight. So this is my seven hour window. So that means if I'm going to be asleep by 1 am, that means I'm actually closing my eyes at like 12:50. Right? So in order to do that, that means I need to work backwards from there. Right? So I've also been something else I've taken action on here is I've been reorganizing our team workflow. So this really does connect to the professional side of things in this conversation with his pod, we have a lot of our team members live all over the world. And we have a handful of them who live in Southeast Asia. And I'm often on calls with them. And they're amazing people. And I really been working with most of them for years. And it's been awesome. And I enjoy those conversations with them. But sometimes my phone calls start at 9:30 and I'm not finished until 1 am. Right? Well, that's gonna obviously have to shift. But I also then wake up in the morning, and I have, I have another group of calls in the morning for more people in Southeast Asia in my AM. And I've realized, like, there's got to be a better way to do this. So we are bringing one of the people who are on our team, already, we're going to shift the role, so that she can be the point person for everyone who's who else who is in Southeast Asia, that will is going to allow me to have more consistent phone calls, fewer phone calls, and then she can she is a decision-maker already, she can be the decision-maker for the other team members that are there. And then that allows her like she she and I can talk we can make the decisions together. But it reduces the amount of phone calls that I'm on and reduces the morning-night kind of thing that I've got going on. And that gives, frees up a lot more of my time to have my morning back. Because, you know, I'd also love to drink my coffee and sit out in the sun for a few minutes before I get things going. And often that gets interrupted when I have calls first thing, right? So that's what's, you know, that hasn't been employed yet. But we've been discussing it trying to figure out how it's gonna work. But I'm excited about this, I'm hopeful about this, you know, one obstacle or challenge that I faced while trying to overcome the, you know, the like to make these shifts are with a give room in the schedule of our team member to be able to take on these calls, right? Obviously, she works for us full-time and is busy. And so we have to bring someone for her to train so that she can shift away from doing some of the things she's been doing. So that she can then manage these other group of people. Right, and that takes time. Right. Second thing is that, obviously, travel always messes up my schedule, when it comes to sleeping. And you know, the fact that people are in Asia, that that has been an obstacle as well. But we're working through it, we're trying to figure those things out. As far as results go, I've already begun doing this, I've already started going to bed, like being in bed at 12:30. You know, so that I can read my book a little bit and wind down and be asleep by one and then getting up at eight. And it has made me feel better. I have started to see a difference in with my Oura Ring scores, how I just feel throughout the day. Right? And then I think it's shifting my mindset, it's been better in my personal life. What I know that I know that. This is just an experience that I've had over time, when I don't sleep consistently and I don't sleep well, I'm more stressed out, I have the that like that the the stories that I tell myself in my head are way more stressful, we're gonna fuck it all up, we're gonna, the house is going to explode, you know, the dogs are gonna run away, you know, whatever the stories are, like, when I don't sleep, all those fear that fear story is a lot more prominent, it's a lot stronger. When I'm consistent with my sleep, I feel more relaxed, more calm, less anxious. And I've started to feel that already this year. And that's been awesome. Despite the travel interrupting things. Because I've made this decision. It's time in my life to shift this. It's made me feel a lot better. And consequently, that has given me a lot more confidence around stability, which is my word for the year, was my word for last year because I didn't accomplish it, right? So stability, money, you know, business growth, personal time getting my personal time back, you know, so it's been It's been really exciting to see,

Brad Crowell 25:03  

I have this idea for this, this like ideal life, this ideal schedule, which is what I coach people on all the time, it's really amazing to start to see that happening in my own life. So yeah, high level here, y'all. You know, being it until you see it is, it takes thought, it takes time, you have to take focus, you actually have to sit down and conceptualize what it is that you want, right, and then figure out how you're going to get there. I think that that's my biggest takeaway here. These are my Be It Action Items for you—bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items—is you need to take a moment, you need to sit down, pull out a pen and paper. And I want you to actually imagine what would be an ideal daily schedule for you or an ideal schedule, you know, that is not like, oh, yeah, we'll get to this. This is not my five-year goal. This is like what could life look like today, now, for you, that would be a lot more enjoyable, right? Here's a great example, I actually want to wake up at 8am, I want to jump into the cold plunge because we got a cold plunge going. And then I want to make a coffee while making my coffee, I'm going to do my five push ups, then I'm going to go with my coffee, I'm going to sit out in the sunshine, I'm going to get 15 minutes of sunshine or 30 minutes or whatever, I'm going to drink my coffee, while I'm just perusing my updates for the day, which are like, you know, checking Slack or checking my project management tool, which is Monday, or checking my email or whatever, where I can get caught up on what's happened, right, before I then go inside. And then I sit down and start working. And I want that to be my daily routine. And it's like relaxing and enjoyable, it's a great way to, you know, figure out what's happened while I was away from the office, I get some sunshine while I'm at it. And that's what I want my mornings to be. But that gets interrupted when, A. I am on the road or B. I've got phone calls first thing in the morning. And so you know what, what I want for you is what could life be like for you? What could your schedule be like for you? I want you to actually imagine it, you know, pretend that you don't have commitments, and then work your commitments in after the fact what can you do? How can you work these things into your life in a different way? Because we've, we do the things we're doing today by default, right? Most likely, because we didn't think about it. It wasn't intentional. It just is what happened. And therefore it's what we do. And that's not benefiting you. That's not benefiting, and what it certainly hasn't been benefiting me. Right? And then now thinking wow, what, what I want my mornings be like, if I had my ideal morning, my ideal schedule? And then how can I make that happen? And then working backwards from there. So that's for you, these are your, these are your action items. First off, envision what it could be like, write it down, I want you to literally write it down. Secondly, then, if in order to make that a reality, what actions do you need to change, take, do? You know, B. What is it that has to shift so that you can get your ideal schedule into place? Right? So, Lesley and I are so grateful for you to being a listener of this pod. And, you know, be it till you see it is something that we are living ourselves. We're constantly shifting, changing, growing on purpose ourselves. And so we really encourage you to be reflective in your own life. And, you know, how do you work on your life instead of just working, you know, living in your life. And so, you know, the, the, I hope that this podcast is bringing you a little bit of clarity and joy and inspiration in your day. If it is, you know, please share this episode or share this podcast with somebody that you know, it's the only way that we grow. And it's the, you know, it's what you can do. It is what you guys could do for us, right? That or leave us a review. So we'd be so grateful for those things. And until next time, you know, Be It Till You See It. Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 29:02  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 29:44  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 29:49  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 29:54  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 30:01  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 30:04  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this special solo episode, Lesley Logan reflects on the journey of the "Be It Till You See It" podcast, celebrating its 400th episode and sharing personal insights on growth, intentionality, and the continuous process of being it till you see it.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to overcome the fear of missing out and prioritize what truly matters.
• Personal insights on letting go of beauty routines that don't serve you.
• The importance of advocating for your health and finding proper medical support.
• The value of seeking second opinions and trusting your health intuition.
• The significance of reassessing choices and being open to necessary changes.
• Information about upcoming tours, retreats, and community events.
• Tips on being intentional in cultivating and maintaining meaningful relationships.

Episode References/Links:

• FemGevity
• Katie Donnelly from Body in Motion Pilates
• OPC Summer Tour
• Cambodia February 2025 Retreat
• eLevate Mentorship Program
• Lindsay Moore Episode 177

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Us on Social Media:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It is possible that you'll create things or you'll make things or you'll do things in your be it till you see it journey and you will start to go, "Hmmm I still love that, but I no longer love doing it this way." And that means you're going to be being until you see it in the unraveling of whatever that change of your mind is, or that decision is, and it also means taking your time. 

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Hi, Be It babe. Welcome to a solo episode. I'm really excited to do this. It's been a really long time. I think we did this in the first year. And then we ended up having so many amazing guests. We haven't done one in a while. Sure. I don't remember what number that was. Anyways. One, if you like these solo episodes, let us know. We want to know. And two, I just want to say hi, if it's your first episode. Hi, I'm Lesley Logan. Welcome to this solo episode of the Be It pod. Normally, we have interviews and then recaps and FYFs, and we have had our 400th episode and it's kind of, it's not even kind of exciting, it's frigging exciting. This whole podcast is like a very big experiment on being it till you see it, being someone who I never thought I asked good questions or was a great interviewer. But I was really clear that I wanted to help more women act as if they had the thing already that they want. There is so many people who tell us, you know, well, just, it's okay because you're going through this, you'll just, just wait and just wait your turn and, and that's the age that you're at so of course you feel that way. Or, like there's just so many different things that I feel like hold us back. And then we hold ourselves back. And there's another, add perfectionism. And this whole idea that imposter syndrom is your thing to figure out. All this stuff. And I just wanted to have a space for you to be inspired regularly by people doing hard things showing up as themselves and the journey along the way. And it's multifaceted, right? There's so many different ways to figure out how to be it till you see it. So I'm just so grateful that here we are three years, since we launched 400 episodes. And so many of you, I've been able to meet in person, and you told me your favorite quotes and your favorite parts and your favorite interviews. And it means a lot to me when you tell me like episode number blah, blah, blah, I'm like, cool. Like, it's just so cool. So I just want to say like, part of me is in total celebration mode. And that's what this episode is. Another part of me is like, it's been a while since I've told you, I'm being it till I see it. And kind of what's going on, right, with my business and with where we're going with things and what I can tell you because I also think it's important to give you permission to be in process. And I say this a lot with regards to the OPC community, we're always talking about being in process, being in practice, Pilates is a practice, being it till you see it is a practice, it's a muscle, and it's not easy, and you won't actually ever be perfect at it. But you do get better at being it till you see it. And so this year, it's 2024, we're halfway through, we're more than that when this comes out. And this year started off exactly the way I wanted and then quickly revealed everything that I wanted it to be and also things that I didn't want to redo. Let me explain. I had, I was very determined to go into the year without having too many plans. And then because we didn't have any plans, very quickly, things planned themselves. And it made me laugh because it's kind of like when you don't have goals, someone else's goals become your goals. And so I said yes to all these things. So I think it's really important. These are not complaints. But what I discovered is actually it's incredibly important for me to prioritize what I do on the schedule, which we did do and then also have a plan of action of like when we can say yes to things and what does that look like? And so already, so that 2025 can be the year of me bein it till I see it in other avenues of how I want this business to grow. I have planned the priorities for next year. And we do have marked out vacations and days off. And it does mean it's very limited for us to say yes to other things. And that is okay. Because I think one of the traps, one of the obstacles, one of the ways to derail being it till you see it is FOMO. That fear of missing out. And so, oftentimes, we say yes to things that feel familiar and that or things we wanted to be invited to. And those things derail things. So nothing this year, really derailed the plans, it actually revealed the plans. But I can tell you for a fact, what it did derail is my ability to show up in all of my friendships and relationships. And one of my intentions was to be more intentional about friendships in Vegas. And it took me until end of May to meet with one of my dear friends who lives here, we both have just crazy travel schedules. And so I'm not saying I've at all failed at that goal. But I was aware that being it till I see it in developing relationships with women, that I could hang out with in person was challenging based on the things I'd said yes to. And it's a lesson to be learned as you can have everything you want, but not all at the same time. So I could have all these incredible events to travel and grow the business but it also meant that it'd be very difficult for me to have in-person relationships. Now, my friends that don't live here, I've already gotten to see this year. So there's a win there. So I think what I've been really focusing on is not going, "Uh, I can't do X, Y and Z," because that is not a way of being it till you see it instead, one celebrating what I can do, and two, making changes in real time to allow for the things I can't do that I want to do and be more intentional. Being it till you see it is intentionality. So here we are halfway through the year, and I have been reflecting on my goals for this year, reflecting on the intentions I had for this year, how I was going to be it till I saw it this year and making changes based on what hasn't been going the way I wanted. And celebrating what is teaching me a lot of things about that I want. So something that we'll talk about, that's a win, that was a be it till you see it for the first several months of this year, you guys, when I took my lashes off, it was not easy for me. And I say that knowing full well that I love how I look. And I'm happy that they're off. And I've said on the podcast before that I wasn't happy with the extensions for a long time. But it's also extremely challenging to have no eyelashes. To have no eyelashes. I was a shock to my own self. And part of that is because I actually have to look at myself all the time for work. I'm filming all the time. And so I was like, it's a very drastic change for me. So I was being it till I saw it and like acting like I was a person who knew how to do makeup, which I'm not. So I took several lessons and I highly recommend that, ladies, if you were, if your body is changing or as you're aging, you're just like oh I don't you're not liking how you look. I highly recommend hiring someone who is an expert at that. I am so grateful for all the makeup artists I hired at the very beginning of this year. I have more to learn and I'm so grateful for them but they helped me through the process because waiting months for your lashes to grow back and by the way they don't grow back cute. No, no, no. Finally now-ish, most of it is like I think my normal lash what I've had in the past. So it took, you know, six months and I know that it can sound so superficial, and I just want to say it's not. If you're a woman listening to this, it is absolutely okay to want to like how you look and it is absolutely okay to want to feel beautiful and feel pretty and when we don't like how we look it does affect our day, it does affect us being it till we see it. Now, there's a very big difference between judging yourself, shaming yourself and being negative about yourself. That does not fight with me and that's not be it till you see it. Be it till you see it is telling yourself that you're beautiful and doing research and finding people to help you with the things that maybe you are wanting to change and that is absolutely okay. And I like to say that because I think that people can get on their high horse about loving themselves so much that they don't want to change anything out their self. So it's okay to want to change things about yourself or to want to elevate how you feel or how you look. I have no problem with that. I do have a problem with the judgment, the shame and the negativity around it. Taking action, that is being it till you see it. So, in the intro to this podcast, action brings clarity, it's the antidote to fear. So huge win and will be lash extension-free. And I'm having fun doing my makeup every day. I have fun playing with things i I also found a makeup line I like. And I highly recommend doing that. And because it makes things easier, it makes it easier to show up for yourself. And if what you are wanting to do in this planet requires you to feel beautiful, then please do the thing that makes you feel beautiful, not the thing that makes your friend feel beautiful. Those are different things that is not being it until you see it, that is being someone else until you see yourself like that. So really, truly own that. And you're going to look different to other people and that's okay, that's actually really great. It's really fun. So I'm really proud of that. And that was be it till you see it moment. And here we are, it took less time than I thought. So that was actually a nice, fun surprise. 

Okay. another way of being it until I see it this year, and this has actually been decades in the process. But I will say that in the last year, I have not been satisfied with the results in my medical health care. And I've been frustrated with the limitations and breaking it is expensive to go out of your own pocket–for ladies. And that's, I only speak for my experience. So maybe men too, but I've just really struggled. And since 2016, I've really struggled with getting anyone to pay attention to where my hormone levels were. My estrogen and progesterone were fine back in 2016. My testosterone was not. 2017–same thing. Last year, testosterone was not. This year, both progesterone and testosterone were not. And now other things are starting, were starting to elevate in a not good way. And that is because when the body is stressed out trying to make things happen, that are not functioning correctly, it's going to stress out other parts of the body. So I have been trying to advocate for myself and my health because I cannot be the leader that I want to be if I do not feel that I have the energy and stamina that I know my body can have. And I know it can have and know it can do. And so what frustrates me is that when I told other women how I was feeling, I had a couple of women who, in my life, who were like, yeah, you should definitely get that checked out. I would look into this, here are some resources, right? And I had a ton of them go, oh, we are at that age. So get ready. We have to stop telling people that. Yes, I am 41. And I could be at that age. But one thing I found out in getting my test done is that I'm probably not. And I would have been doing my body to disservice just buckling down and suffering through it. What I can say is by getting answers, going to people who really care about women's health, we have them on the podcast, their episode will be coming out soon. It's FemGevity and I will make sure that my team puts my link below if you want us to get started sooner. When my episode comes out, they have changed my life. So I told them how I'm feeling. I told them what my symptoms are. I told them that I don't feel like myself. And I told them like it's making it really difficult for me to trust myself in meetings with my own team. Because I don't have the energy, my brain isn't firing at the way that I that I'm used to. And it's taking me more time to think about things, I want to handle more stuff. And turns out estrogen was phenomenal. My testosterone production, while in range, we're not serving me. And so by getting someone to pay attention to me, who cares about my health, who has done the research, help me, I can clearly say that, like I'm not at that stage in my life right now. And that's okay, it will come. And also, I am now back to performing at the levels that I am used to. And I can show up as myself and I can feel the way that I usually feel and I don't feel like a crazy person. And so if you are feeling like a crazy person, don't let someone talk you into something like Oh, that's just how you're supposed to feel. Oh, for my ladies who are on the other side, that you've done the pair, you're on the other side. Just because you're on the other side doesn't mean you have to like manage it. There is more research out every single day for, thank goodness, for women's health. And so please, please, please advocate for your health. And if you hear someone having struggles with their health, instead of just telling well, that's just the age, you know, you got kids or you're 41 or whatever. Tell them, "How long you've been feeling this way? Have you seen anyone? What did they say? Did you agree with that? Does their answer feel right? Does it feel good? And if the answer is no, then there are other people that's what second opinions and third opinions are for and I highly recommend you do that. Okay, so I had a, during an OPC summer camp, which, thank goodness, I had gotten this support before that happened. That was a marathon that I needed every part of me to be able to function for, they did. Um, we had Katie Donnelly, from Body in Motion Pilates on and she was talking about for pregnant women to be listening to their body and I said okay, I have a question for you, though. So many people don't listen to their body. So what are they listening, what are they listening for? How do they start to listen when they, like, should have been listening this whole time? And she said, when you find out information, does it create more fear, or more curiosity? And I'm going to challenge with the same thing in being it till you see it with your health. If people tell you stuff that makes you feel just like, I don't like that answer, you're allowed to go get a second opinion. And I feel like if we all can start to actually hear the women around us who are saying those things, and then provide them not with like, well, that's just how it is. That's how the cookie crumbles. And instead, see them and hear them go, wow, how long have you been feeling this way? Do you? Have you been able to talk to someone who's a specialist in this? Did you? How did the answer feel? Have you gotten a second opinion? We have an episode on how to advocate for yourself in the healthcare industry. And I highly recommend you listen to it, with my old assistant Lindsay. And then we've had just (inaudible) on talking about women's health. And it is very privileged to get second and third opinions actually. And I do understand that money can be a thing. You know, there are clinics, there are options, there are programs, and it might take a little extra research. And I do hope you do that. Because you are the only person who could do what you do the way that you do it, you are it. And we need you feeling like you can, that your body is able to take you where you want it to go. So what I'm so excited about right now is that I'm on this journey with this company, FemGevity, and we're just getting started. And at the time I'm recording this I've been off oat milk for three days. And I'm trying to do (inaudible) eight weeks to change some of the foods that I'm actually sensitive to, highly and then mildly, just to see how I feel. And I have another test I'm waiting to come back from them. And it's really interesting. Sometimes we're like, I'm doing all the things I'm eating all the foods, I'm sleeping, I'm exercising, I don't feel awesome. There might be something else. And so please just to sum this up on the, the be it till you see it when it comes to your strength and stamina and longevity, please advocate for yourself until you get someone who fully trust that they have your destiny like they're there with you. And my doctor with this company, she is like with me and excited and looking for things and listening to me and that is important. So at the very least make sure you have a doctor who you can talk to and you feel like they're listening to you. They have to, they're supposed to, so make them. 

Okay, next up in my be it till you see it journey. Okay, this one is a little (inaudible) more esoteric, but I'm hoping that it will make sense. Being it till you see it doesn't mean you don't get to change ring or you don't get to evolve, or you don't get to elevate or stop. I share that because a lot of people say that, like, will say, like people who get things done it's because they have grit or there's a hustle, you know, and I'm not saying you don't have to hustle sometimes there's like, there's like moments in a business where you're, you're going. But it is possible that you'll create things or you'll make things or you'll do things in your be it till you see it journey and you will start to go, "Hmmm I still love that, but I no longer love doing it this way." And that means you're going to be being until you see it in the unraveling of whatever that change of your mind is, or that decision is, and it also means taking your time. Sometimes in the be it till you see it aspect, things will just happen quickly because you believe and you're acting as if and the next thing comes. And sometimes it just, it matter. It's a little more patient, there's like more things you have to learn to be the person that's doing the thing that you want to be doing. And especially when you are acknowledging that something that you love doing isn't going the way you love to do it anymore. You get to take some time, explore and be curious. And I'm still in the curiosity aspect of this. And so being it till you see it as a detective and weighing options and figuring things out. Part of me who's the action taker like I'm just like, I'm an activator. If you remember the StrengthsFinder, I'm just going to do things. Part of me is just like wanting to just make a decision and go with it. But also the leader, business owner woman that I am wanting to be that I aspire to be all the time, if I'm being it to see it as her, she is patient, she evaluates, she does things with ease. And she does things through her values. And so that is what I have to use as my rubric as I'm making a decision and changing my mind on something. And so when I have and when I can announce it, I will tell you and that might be longer than we all want. Don't worry, this path is not going anywhere. But I just wanted to share that because I think it's important to know that you're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to take a couple of steps forward and go, ooh, this doesn't feel good. You know? It's important. All right, what is coming up? What should you be expecting? Well, we're going to keep the pod the way it is, right now. We have interviews on Tuesday, recaps on Thursday, FYF. We really do want to have more guests that will support you in the journey you're going on. I have some perimenopause expert, women hormone experts coming on. And just some other amazing topics coming down the pipeline that I'm super excited for you to hear. And what I would just say and my big ask is that you keep sharing it. I know a lot of you have been listeners for a really long time and you share it back then, you need to keep sharing it now because there's some guests that I would love to ask. And I need the podcast to go from top 2% in the world, to top 1% in the world. And that comes from your share. So do know that. Uhm, also super excited we are doing two tours this year. And I get to see you in person. So there's a summer tour in August and a winter tour in December. And we are running two retreats in a year, which is really a big deal for us. So that is huge and exciting. October's Cambodia retreat is sold out. And so we are doing the February 2025 retreat and that's filling up very quickly. So I really do hope you take a spot in that if you wanted to come and have a little be it till you see it moment. It's pretty amazing the workshops we do and the classes that we do, and it's really special. And I'm still doing eLevate next year. In fact, end of June is when the applications were open. So I don't know if there's any spots for 2025 left, but if you are interested, feel free to reach out because you know, what's the worst (inaudible) thing I say? No, there's no spots? Um, you never know. Right? So that is a really cool thing that I was being it till I saw as far as like, (inaudible) like doing this do I want to be a mentor? What does that mean? What does that mean ongoing? What does that mean years later? How does that work, and proud to say that, like, every year, I get challenged in the best way by those who are in eLevate, and it gets sweeter and better. And the grads that we've had, they get sweeter and better because it's been percolating them for a really long time. And I'm so proud of them. A lot of them were teaching at summer camp this year and just getting to see them take their knowledge of how the work is, Pilates work is, and then to have their own personality with it was beautiful and wonderful. I'm so proud. So yeah, that's what's going on. So currently, I have some things that I, as I mentioned at the beginning of this podcast, that I've been reflecting on with my goals and like my participation in those, and I am still working on that. So the rest of this year, I'm gonna be it till I see it as being better at participating in the relationships that I want to continue to cultivate. Not just my marriage, that one's actually, work, definitely work up more possible because we live together and we travel together. But in my relationship with my friends. It's something that like, pre-COVID was so easy for me to do even in living in a busy world where I traveled a lot. Post COVID, it's harder, it's a very interesting thing, you got used to not seeing people and you start to tell yourself a story about how busy they are. So I am working on being more intentional about that and getting more into a routine around that and sharing with them what's going on because I'm an introvert so it's so easy for me to be like oh, it's amazing. But I want deep, truly wonderful friendships and I have them and so my goal is to take them to the even the next level of just really phenomenal true, true sisterhood friendships that of women I love to lean on and I admire in how they live their life and so I'm super excited to see how that goes. And that is my be it till I see it project for the rest of this year. Workwise, you heard what's going on and patience and ease is the, is really, you know, the be it till I see it there because those two things don't come easy for me. I don't have patience and I don't really, like. ease isn't something I would put under when, like, people think of Lesley Logan they think of ease. No, no, but I'm really trying that and it has been serving me well. So I'm going to keep leaning into that. Alright, let's, I hope this was a helpful episode for you. I hope that like hearing, like my thought process on some things might give you permission to have your own thought process or around some things. And if you like the solo episode and you have special areas you want us to hear us talk more as, as a solo, a topic, an area, you know you're allowed to send questions in for the recap, but if you're wanting to hear more about my health journey or my Pilates journey or anything or Brad, you want to hear more about a journey part of his life, we want to share that with you. That's what this podcast is all about. Because what got us here is this process of going through those experiences some good and, and some you would label bad, but really a setup for some good. We want to share that with you. Because if it's going to help you, we want you to hear it. So make sure you send them in to the Be It Pod so we can answer that. And take a moment to really reflect on like, who is it that you want to be at the end of this year? And then how can you act as if you're that person right now. That's the be it till you see it. That's it right there. Have an amazing day and until next time, you Be It Till You See It. 

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 26:43  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 26:48  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 26:52  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 26:59  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 27:02  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai