Be It Till You See It

From Kierkegaard's quotes to confronting personal truths, this recap episode unpacks enlightening takeaways from Adrian Koehler on the pivotal role of introspection in honing leadership skills. Join Brad and Lesley as they navigate life's challenges with clarity and purpose, urging leaders to move beyond the status quo and embrace transformative change.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Strategies for shifting your perspective and avoiding self-imposed constraints.
• Realizing and leveraging the power of choice in directing your life's course.
• The importance of challenging self-imposed limits and being open to the world of possibilities around you.
• The role of clear goal-setting and a positive mindset in steering through life's changes.
• Why self-reflection is an invaluable tool for leaders seeking clarity and direction.

Episode References/Links:

• Agency Mini Seven-Day Coaching Program
• eLevate
• Cambodia Pilates Retreat

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

I think no matter if you are a business person or not, having clear principles and values and using your gifts, and having an explorer's mind, all three of those bullet points, we applied to everything. Because if you are not clear on your values, you will end up just kind of feeling a little lost and doing things that you're like, oh, I regret doing like that, like, you're not that everything is perfect when you use your values, but you at least have like a guidepost to go, what the hell am I supposed to do right now? Well, I don't really know. But I know that I want to be transparent and I want to be honest, I wanna be communicative. Okay, well, then let's just communicate what we don't know. And what we're going to do to try to figure it out, you know, so I think that that's really helpful in relationships in life.

Lesley Logan 0:28  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:49  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life Brad and I went to dig into the fierce combo I had with Adrian Koehler in our last episode, if you haven't yet listened to that one. You should pause this now. And listen to that one. Actually, don't let me tell you what to do. You can tell you what to do, but I'm gonna tell you right now for this recap. You're like, Wait, hold on. (inaudible)

Lesley Logan 1:08  

Hug that fucking cactus.

Lesley Logan 1:09  

What I'm gonna have to go listen to the real thing. I should. Because Adrian's amazing. And Brad was on the interview as well. So, surprise. Anyways, before we get into Adrian's amazingness, today is September 14 in real time, and that means it's National Eat a Hoagie Day. 

Brad Crowell 1:28  

That's right, y'all Philadelphians. Eat that Hoagie. 

Lesley Logan 1:31  

So this is when you can tell that Brad took over the show. Eat a Hoagie and if you're gluten and dairy free, good luck. Good luck. You know how Okay, so sidenote, when I first time I had a Philly Cheesesteak. We went into one of the famous restaurants not the ones that fight but like, I don't know, you can tell me which one we went to. We went to gyms went to gyms. And I told them I'm gluten and dairy free. And the guy looked at me. He still took the bread. He took one of those like the thin.

Lesley Logan 2:04  

Well, it's like it's like, it's like, it's not wax. Wax. It was just like a paper, food truck paper. But yeah.

Lesley Logan 2:10  

And he put that on the the top of the buttons, and then he still put my food, my whole sandwich everything that went inside, on that parchment paper, right. And then he put that on my sandwich, but I put all my stuff on there and then handed me the sandwich, including the bud I said I did not want ah, and also thought cheesesteak because I had no cheese. The guy doesn't mean me like what are you doing? Anyways? Go eat hoagie y'all wherever you are. Okay. And this week, Brad and I really like dead in the middle of agency meeting number nine. 

Brad Crowell 2:45  

Holy cow. 

Lesley Logan 2:46  

It is a small business coaching program. It's for it's for any fitness instructor. And it really does help you get clarity. And then we also we love giving you clarity, and then an agency, we get you into implementation, which is where we rock. So at any rate, that's happening, it's too late to sign up, don't ask.

Brad Crowell 3:04  

It is too late, it is almost over, but you can actually still go to profitablepilates.com/mini to get on the waitlist for the next one. But you don't also need to wait six months, you can just like I interrupted Lesley saying, you could just jump right into our coaching.

Lesley Logan 3:19  

Yeah, it's okay you can finish that sentence, that's fine. Then, in a couple of weeks, we actually are leaving for Cambodia. Wait, I'm gonna be really honest, unless you like love to like live on the wild side probably get on the waitlist for that one instead of coming on this one because it's pretty much full anyways. But we are so excited. And this summer actually bringing my sister in law, our product manager and her husband with us because we have such a full crew. It's just going to be amazing. I can't wait for them to see this space because they haven't been there yet. So you go to Lesleylogan.co/retreat. And you know, if you are wanting to host your own retreat in Cambodia and use our space, you can do that too. So just reach out to us.

Brad Crowell 4:00  

Yeah, that's right. We have a 12 bedroom apartment building there. And all the relationships that we built since 2017. And it's been this this will be our first year 2023 is our first year letting somebody else take over our space and run their retreat. Effectively, we handle all of the logistics and all the programming and all the food and all the, any of the cool variables. You just teach your thing and then bring your people.

Brad Crowell 4:28  

You sell it, you teach it, you bring your people, we do all the stuff behind the scenes. It is annoying. And then we come back. We're gonna see the dogs for like seven days. And then we are going to be I'm going to be going to Chicago finally, Erika Quest and I get to hang out in real life. That's November fourth and fifth we got some workshops. You're probably wondering, oh my God, how you sign up. You have got to wait. Make sure you're following me on Instagram and you will find out or make sure you're on our newsletter list. You will find out that way. But I don't have a link for you because we have there's a two week window for people at this specific studio to sign up first. And then we can let the public sign up. And then in December we go back on our road tour or winter tour. So, you know, I think I-70 is basically whatever, whatever long route 70 all the way to Philly, and then down through the 40. Am I remembering it correctly? You? What's the one through Texas that we do is it the 10? 20? 

Brad Crowell 5:30  

It is usually the 20 and the 10.

Lesley Logan 5:32  

The 20 and the 10. Okay, not the 40.

Lesley Logan 5:35  

But we've hit the 40 before they're not that far off.

Lesley Logan 5:37  

Yeah. So anyways, we'll be doing that. More details to follow, so don't worry about it. Just keep listening to this amazing show. But first, Brad, before we talk about Adrian, do you do we have an audience question?

Brad Crowell 10:54  

We totally do. I heard you have a mentorship program? Yes. Yes. And the question is, is it too late to apply, apply, apply, apply, apply? And what is the next one?

Lesley Logan 11:07  

Okay, so at the time that this is dropping, I think we just closed applications. This is the number 14th, so

Brad Crowell 11:14  

the 13th, we closed applications. That's right. 

Lesley Logan 11:16  

So here's the deal. Assuming it's full, then yes, too late to apply. However, one of the girls in our current round round three, she literally heard all about it on the podcast, like a week before we started, and someone had happened to drop out and she took their spot. Yes. So what I would say is go to Lesleylogan.co/elevate, eLevate the name of the mentorship and get on the waitlist. And then reach out to us ASAP. If you're like, oh my god, I do not want to wait till 2025. (Brad: Exactly.) We can't make promises but worth worth, like raising your hand. The actual next rounds are in 2024. And they kick off in January, which why the applications are now if I can get everyone ready and get all the things going the dates ahead of them. So it's really exciting. I only can run so many a year because I can only have so many people and it takes there it takes so much of our time. So anyways, I really hope that if this is you it's meant to be for you, you raise your hand and we have a spot. And if not well then who knows? Who knows? Maybe we do with I don't know you'll never know, (Brad: Who knows?) but you should just reach out. So lesleylogan.co/elevate to get more information about that is for teachers who are all ready, have already done a comprehensive. It doesn't matter if it's classical or contemporary. None of that matters. Now if you've just finished or been teaching for 20 years, that you do have to have already done a comprehensive training.

Brad Crowell 12:50  

Yeah, cool. 

Lesley Logan 13:03  

If you have questions, life, business, relationships, Pilates, dogs, and you would like to hear our take on that you can just send it in to the Be It pod. We are happy to answer your questions. Whatever those ones are.

Brad Crowell 15:08  

Okay, now let's talk about Adrian Koehler. Adrian Koehler is a leadership engagement expert and senior partner at the executive coaching firm, Take New Ground, he specializes in helping leaders recognize their potential bottlenecks and empowers them to take transformative actions in their professional journeys. And he's my former executive coach, (Lesley: I know you guys worked together for a while and it was right for you like a year and a half.) More than that. I don't even know. It was amazing. So super, super helpful for me. I have nothing but love  

Brad Crowell 15:40  

He will push you to step up. Yeah, in a good way. And he did that a lot for me. And, you know, I still think a lot about our conversations. And, you know, the things that I was struggling with, are still applicable today, some of them and others I've been able to move through, or maybe some situations that come back, and I reflect back often on our conversations, and one that makes us laugh is hugging a cactus. But you'll have to go back and listen a little bit more about what that means in the previous episode.

Lesley Logan 16:26  

Yeah. Can I talk about what I love to do it? Okay. So, because one of the reasons that you got you end up working with Adrian is because I am not a founder, who is like, I have to be the CEO. I thought I did. Let me get to his point. He actually said, he said, founders usually don't want to be CEOs but think they should. And so they like get stuck. And they get trapped in their mind, and they do things, doesn't work out. So well. Anyways, I thought I'd be the CEO, because I thought like, if you found, if you found it, then you're the president or whatever. I don't know. Because clearly, like there's presidents of like Mattel, they didn't found it. Like so. But in my mind, and everyone treated me like as a CEO, but then you stepped in Brad, and then you became the CEO. And then and then we got you, Adrian to like, because you had sea level like you were an ops manager and things like that big corporations, but like, we're gonna see, oh, it takes a whole different leadership role. You have to think of things in a whole different way. So you don't get things don't get stuck. So I loved that.

Brad Crowell 17:22  

I was the COO. (Lesley: Yes) Yeah. But I had never been responsible for the sales and marketing. In addition to the operations, I was only the one side. So I was doing like finance and ops. And this was my first time. There's two really interesting transitions with that. And one was basically letting go of the thing that I know, I'm good at giving it to somebody else. (Lesley: Yeah) that was like, hard for me to do. Because when I get stressed, what do I go? Do I go do things I'm good at. So I go back to my safe zone, where I felt like I could kick ass and take names over there. But ultimately, that's not actually helping the company. And it was really, you know, that was the transition that you're making when you're stepping into that role. (Lesley: Yeah) And, yeah, anyway, you know, Adrian has, like, worked with people who have teams of 10,000 people. (Lesley: Yeah) you know, and we had a team of like, 10, I think at the time.

Lesley Logan 18:13  

Yeah. And then another thing that I loved, I just love the freedom of that. So any of you who are like, Oh, my God, like, once this company I'm building grows, like, I don't know that I can be the CEO, you don't have to be, or you can, you just have to get out of everyone's way. And really like, and really think of yourself as a unique contribution. And not like, I'm the essential worker, because like, that's where you get in people's way, and you start doing their job. And they're like, I don't know why I'm here. And

Brad Crowell 18:44  

Well, that's, that's exactly what I was doing too is, basically, when you are building a company, because you know, your strengths you you do those tasks, right? And so you end up being in a critical role in the company. And you don't necessarily plot it that way. We're like, everybody needs me. But ultimately, that's what ends up happening. More often than not, for Founders, like smaller companies who are beginning to grow is the like, well, I built literally every aspect of this stuff. So everyone needs to come to me to help get their questions answered. And, you know, ultimately, know where what that leads to is the gears slowing down because there's one, you're one person, you can only do so many things, right? But it makes you feel needed. It makes you feel like you're doing something right. And it's a trap. Yeah. And so that essentially, you know, like, Founders have this habit of setting things up so that they are essential in the flow of things instead of it instead of empowering their team to eventually take over the process altogether. Right? And You know, that was that, you know, and that's still something that that I have to deal with, too. But with, you know, Adrian, that's where he, the challenging part of agent comes into play is that he can go, hey, man, third party perspective. I know you're a web developer and you love building websites, but you're spending 10 hours building a website instead of, you know, handling these fires over here that need to be put out, by the way, did you know that? 

Lesley Logan 20:22  

Well, and that leads me to my other point that I that I liked that he brought up, he said, whatever is going on in my life, I either created it, or I allow it and like we as human beings we are we can be resentment machines, and we complain about what's not working. But whatever you're complaining about, you either allowed it to happen, or you created it. And like, this is so true for everything, not even just work. Like for example, I was going to like totally complain this afternoon because I the the landscaper came, and I couldn't see the landscaper come because he was he was two hours late. And so I was working on my teacher and I didn't lock the door because I was like I was landscaper coming today I don't even know like haven't seen him on the whole block on anyone else's house. So I started doing my session. And then we didn't get the door locked. And the dogs got to go greet the landscapers today.

Brad Crowell 21:15  

They are fending them off with the with the air blower. 

Lesley Logan 21:18  

Yeah, they were but yeah, they were just like running around like barking. And they're fine. They're not dangerous dogs like but they don't like people in their backyard. And so at any rate, I heard I heard their barks because I got up and let him in. I will like partly I want to just like complain so much. Because like why the fuck didn't Brad lock the door when he saw the landscapers come because his office is gonna window to see the thing. And I caught myself because I mind, I could have said to Brad, I'm going to not be able to lock the door because I got a session. Or I could have just fucking lock the door anyways. And so I basically like allowed that whole situation in because I we didn't communicate.

Brad Crowell 21:57  

And we didn't yeah, we didn't communicate. And it's so funny because I saw them. But I was I was on a call. And I saw them. And for some reason it just didn't register. So normally I see them and I just like casually lock the back door. And I didn't do it today. I don't know. And I thought what the hell, you know, but but

Lesley Logan 22:14  

I just bring that up. Because I think sometimes we can think of like when a business coach comes on here, we can think about things being busy. And I thought that this point was so holistic, because whatever is going on, you either created it or you allowed it.

Brad Crowell 22:27  

Yeah, I think Well, I think that's the ultimately that's what it comes down to is the idea that it's not happening to me, right? It's something that I brought into my world. 

Lesley Logan 22:41  

And don't yell at me on YouTube because somebody died in your life. And you're like, that doesn't apply to you. We're talking about like, the things in your, your life that you're making decisions on. Last time we talked about, it's happening for me, someone goes, my dog just died. That is not happening for me. Okay, see yourself in the story, some other examples?

Brad Crowell 23:00  

But I do think that's a part of the that's actually the argument. And that's where the challenge is. Right? Is that, you know, there's a very much it's easy to be a victim. (Lesley: Yeah) And it's hard to embrace this idea that we had an influence in the things that are happening in our lives, you know, and we had some choice in that matter. And that might not be always like black and white, crystal clear. But especially in within a company or within, you know, whatever it is that's happening in your family in school or in your job, you know, you know, if there's conflict, or if there's something that isn't happening the way that the you want it to be happening. you still are participating in some way. Yeah. And there's decisions that are made there. 

Lesley Logan 23:51  

You're not upholding boundaries, or you're not you let people break those boundaries, and you didn't correct them when that happened. Like all these. It's just incredible. So anyways, yeah, I love it. I love that example. I think that is a really great sentence to like pin somewhere on your wall. What did you love that he said?

Brad Crowell 24:07  

Yeah, that's deep, deep. Okay, Adrian said, a lot of possibilities are in the periphery. And I thought this was interesting, because I think that I think that the idea, again, like waiting for something to be stupidly obvious for us to go do the thing. It's never going to be obvious, right? So we may be on a path but but being open to possibility that like this path that we've defined, oh, I want to like for me, here's a perfect example of a path that I defined. I was going to be Adam Levine and I decided that that means I have to go to Music College and I'm gonna leave music college I'm going to be a band and my band is gonna be assigned in the I'm going to sell a million records, and I'm gonna tour the world for the rest of my life. And I'm going to be a 75-year-old rock star that everybody goes, they should probably quit, but they're so fucking awesome. That's the path that I had decided for myself, right? And that was my dream, right. But I had kind of created this box that I had put myself in. And I was, for years, I was unwilling to look anywhere except for like, only at that thing. And I think that when you are allowing yourself to be open, there were peripheral things happening all throughout that time, where I could have been, maybe I could have made some money, maybe I could have, I don't know, some opportunity or some thing, if I had been looking kind of like on the sides and been open to this idea that maybe what I think my path is, maybe there's other paths for me, right? And so the idea that the possibilities are in the periphery. 

Lesley Logan 25:52  

And I was one of those possibilities in the periphery, I'm just gonna say like, hello, amazing periphery.

Brad Crowell 25:59  

Well, I'm so excited about that periphery. But let me let me finish my, my example here. While, I was doing my music, you've heard me talk about how my innate, you know, strengths, were the organization, the admin, the booking the sales, the, you know, effectively all those things, which, when it wasn't until my dream came to a hard wall, where everything stopped, that I was, I was like, oh, shit, I can't keep going forward. What am I going to do now? That was the only time I was finally willing to look around and be like, I need to do something else. What can I do? Right? And that kind of took me into the operation side of things. You know. And so, you know, I think when you have a vision like that, it can also be restrictive, you know, is ultimately the point. Yeah. I think he said that your vision can be an agenda, too. Actually use it that, you know, your vision can turn into an agenda. Yeah, you know, and I think that that was the same thing for me. And so I wasn't like I didn't, I didn't celebrate things that were happening in my life outside of my dream, my vision, and it really put me in a weird.

Lesley Logan 27:14  

That's why we have FYF, guys, because everyone is treating their life like it's a fucking agenda, and not really understand that you are experiencing some amazing things that could lead you to different places. If you if you just took a moment to go. oh, that was fun. Oh, that was weird, huh? Well, this is a wrong turn. You know, like, there's adventures everywhere.

Brad Crowell 27:34  

Yeah, I think I think something that is a little scary about those adventures is like what happens when life lifes and things shift and change? You know, I

Lesley Logan 27:43  

Put on an amazing rap song. And keep going. 

Brad Crowell 27:46  

Yeah, I didn't do that. I got angry. I got angry. Yeah, like angry. And for years, I was angry. And this was in my 20s. Right, where I was, like, just super, super frustrated that things weren't going the way that I thought that they were supposed to go the way that I wanted them to go. I worked so fucking hard and things weren't panning out. Right. And Adrian talked about how he deals with shifts and changes. And he gave us a quick little list here. He said, have clear principles and values. You know, use your gifts, have an explorer's mindset. And then, you know, all, like all throughout this, he was specifically talking about being a leader. So he was talking about keeping him, you know, his interests and his team's interests at heart throughout these shifts and changes and stuff. But, you know, I think it's really interesting, you know, if, if, when you have clear principles, values, that's kind of hard thing to what the hell does that even mean? Like, do you know your values, like, I think your values, you kind of depends on the situation that you're in, you know, but when you have an opinion, and you are willing to stand by, you know, the decisions that you've made, that will help you in times of tumultuous, you know, unknown. 

Lesley Logan 29:04  

Well, also, like, I think no matter if you are a business person or not, having clear principles and values and using your gifts, and having an explorer's mind, all three of those bullet points, we applied to everything. Because if you are not clear on your values, you will end up just kind of feeling a little lost and doing things that you're like, oh, I regret doing like that, like, you're not that everything is perfect when you use your values, but you at least have like a guidepost to go, what the hell am I supposed to do right now? Well, I don't really know. But I know that I want to be transparent and I want to be honest, I wanna be communicative. Okay, well, then let's just communicate what we don't know. And what we're going to do to try to figure it out, you know, so I think that that's really helpful in relationships in life.

Brad Crowell 29:54  

All right. Let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Adrian Koehler? He actually, he talked about, he kind of started going down. But he started listening (inaudible), he's really going to do all of them. And I was like, whoa, well, we kind of got sidetracked, so (Lesley: You only have to do the one.) Yeah, I just well, I think we got bold and executable, but, you know, be bold. And he said, actually, this is one of our core values of their company is bold, being bold. And he said, ask yourself, do I want to live with this? Whatever this might be? Or is there some kind of new future that I want to create? Right? He said, we're so busy, and we have a lot going on. So we need to take the time to slow down and reflect on the resentments that we have been carrying. And I'll tell you when I started coaching with him, like this was really interesting. He dug and dug and dug and dug, and then began to challenge me with things that I was effectively allowing to happen, you know, in my life, and my work life, and my relationships, and all those kinds of things I loved. I love when he was in your life. Yeah, no, me too. It was great. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 31:15  

It felt like he would like help highlight the things that I was hoping you would feel. But I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want to be that wife. I thought maybe Adrian...

Lesley Logan 31:27  

So he emphasized the importance of self-reflection, clarity, and addressing personal and professional goals and issues. And by doing so, he said that leaders can gain a clearer understanding of their current situation, and prompt, which all of that prompts critical questions of whether or not they want to continue to embrace those issues or figure out a way to create new, a new path, right? And, you know, like, whatever that might be, in whatever challenge that you're going through right now. You know, is there a different way and you know, what can you do? How can you do it? You always have options, right? What about you? What about you?

Lesley Logan 32:10  

Well, I really, my big takeaway is it's a quote by Kierkegaard.

Brad Crowell 32:18  

That's him.

Lesley Logan 32:24  

People find a level of despair that's tolerable and call that happiness. Oh, why do we do that? It's so annoying. And it's really actually you know, you have people in your life that do do this on a really grand scale. Yeah, my grandfather big time one of those people. I'm a taller boy, I just think I'm the happiest, it was just like flatline But at any rate, I think it he said Adrian said like it makes the heart sick if you don't have hope about how things can get better. And the truth is it's like Kerry Ford mentioned like a mountain with no peak and I think for the over two years in the room it can get you have to find the balance of like making sure you find a summit to like celebrate on but we should always be finding something else that could just challenge us a little bit more take us to another level a new thing while celebrating and understanding because otherwise you just go well this shitty life I'm living in this pigsty, this is this is as good as it gets. I'm gonna call it happiness like remember when you watch the movie as good as it gets you're like this is really depressing I was like yeah, funny you mentioned it, so like I just really enjoy that he brought that up as a as a bit action item because we we we can get stuck in our own place and go well this is good I guess this is good. I'll just do this so he said the solution for a hard hard-drivin-driving type A is with a get shit down and perfectionist people is that you actually do uh no one can handle the me so he advised to stop being the icon and get out of your persona and be who you are. Get peers around you get a coach around you take the you can take messy action with and have people you can talk with because those people are going to help you celebrate those people are gonna like reflect and be a mirror about where you're going to getting stuck in places and also like help you want a little bit more so you don't like just go well, I'll just live in this pigsty. Yesterday I had yesterday when we're recording this I had a call with a girlfriend. She's a peer she has a business I love she'll be on the podcast soon and Jessica and I was just like I'm just having some low energy today. I was able to do some big vision thinking And I got was that was actually really fun. And she goes, Oh, what was your vision, and it was just so fun to have someone who we don't do the same business, but to ask that and be that peer where I could like, share that with because it when you share that it helps solidify a little bit and the universe gets in there starts helping things out. So anyways, Don't be the person who finds a level of despair, and that's tolerable and go happiness, I'm happy to do it.

Lesley Logan 35:27  

I don't think that's what like they're doing it like that. I think it's like, we, you know, the

Lesley Logan 35:32  

subconscious?

Brad Crowell 35:33  

No, it's, that's what I'm saying is like, you know, I, I think with my, my marriage before my past marriage, I thought to myself, Why did I ever get married? And that occurred like two years in. And, and then and then the next thought was, well, I, I divorce isn't an option. So I guess this is what it's going to be. And I guess I've signed up for this for the rest of my life. Right. And that was really depressing. But I was like, okay, I guess that's what I gotta do now. Right? And that's sucks. That's, and it also was not fun. And it was actually really emotionally challenging.

Lesley Logan 36:17  

I feel like had you had peers around you, that you could have trusted to share that information with? I do feel like, you might have come to the, like, an idea that you could have also been out of it sooner, but you were kind of alone in that relationship. And not really, it was. 

Brad Crowell 36:35  

I was also stressed, like, pretty set in my ways. I was very convinced that like, I should not ever get a divorce period. And it wasn't until, you know, my ex was like this is you don't have a choice here. This is happening. That things really well.

Lesley Logan 36:51  

That's why that going back to Adrian's point, have someone close to you, or coach, aka therapists would have been good there. Like how, like having another person who are which you could share what was going on that wasn't the person you're married to? 

Brad Crowell 37:05  

Yeah, it was, well, I mean, I had a bunch of friends, but I would shut them down. When they what if that idea ever came to surface? I was like, Nah, don't do that. I'm not going to do that. There's a way for us to fix it. I was very determined, you know, but I think that it that's exactly the problem is that when I was so convinced that my way was the correct way, was the way, right that I was unwilling to even listen to my friends who were trying to look out for me. And it wasn't until, you know, everything exploded in my face that I was forced to do it. And then that really challenged me and made me go. Am I right, though, like was that the right way? You know, and but it took like a catastrophic event for that to happen. I hope that's not you. I hope that doesn't happen for you. It doesn't need to be that way. But it requires self-inflection. And it's really hard for people who, quote-unquote, know what they know.

Lesley Logan 38:01  

Yeah, I know. It's a struggle. We all know those people. And sometimes we are those people. So anyways, I just, go back and listen to Adrian's episode a couple times. Maybe it's when you say it's definitely anyone you're gonna share. Really enjoy this man. We definitely have to hang out with him again soon. Here. They go to Hawaii. So we should yeah.

Brad Crowell 38:22  

All the things, the episodes coming out after all the programs he talked about, but those he does those programs a couple times a year. And yeah, I mean, if you're 2024 days, yeah, looking for more. You know, we'll put the links in the show notes. Yeah. I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 38:38  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 38:39  

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for being one of our amazing listeners, like this podcast keeps growing. I just checked the stats on this podcast. And you guys, our listener, scores higher, we're still in the top 2% of all podcasts in the whole world. I just want you to know, I would like to in the year in the top 1.5%. So I need your help. I need you to share this podcast and you need to tell people listen to FYF, if you're listening to recaps, or like maybe like the interviews more whatever of the episodes you love the most just tell them to listen to those. They'll find their own path, but just know that you are part of this incredible success. We're gonna hit 300 episodes. Quite soon. Yeah, Claire Solly, who's been on the pod a few times. She was Brad's attendant. She texted me other day she's like, Oh my god, I just heard your podcast is on 256 Like, how in the world and that was 10 episodes ago. So like we're even closer now. So anyways, I'm just ready to have a lot of fun. So thank you for being a listener. And make sure that until next time you be it till you see it. 

Brad Crowell 39:37  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 39:37  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. 

Brad Crowell 39:37  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 39:37  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 39:37  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 39:37  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 39:37  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Delve into the heart of leadership as Lesley and Brad interviews Adrian Koehler. Urging leaders to confront their resentments and complaints, Adrian offers a roadmap to a more empowered leadership style. Listen in to explore personal and professional growth with intention and clarity.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why Adrian Koehler passionately advocates for people.
• The importance of clear principles and values in guiding leadership.
• Understand being essential versus making a unique contribution.
• Dive into aligning with your dark side to confront internal challenges.
• Embrace the power of self-reflection and genuine introspection.
• Learn the value of seeking guidance and external support.

Episode References/Links:

• Follow Adrian on IG
• Follow Adrian Keohler’s on LinkedIn
• Take New Ground
• Intrepid Leadership Academy
• The Art of Negotiation Quiz
• The Naked Leadership Podcast
• Modern Wisdom Podcast
• The Revenant Process

Guest Bio:

Adrian Koehler is a senior partner and founder of Take New Ground, a Los Angeles-based leadership coaching firm. He specializes in guiding executives and entrepreneurs to achieve unprecedented results and work fulfillment. Additionally, he co-hosts The Naked Leadership Podcast with TNG's Sr Partner, Dan Tocchini.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Social Media

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Episode Transcript:

Adrian Koehler 0:00  

Failure might be being miserable for the next five years and losing another whole senior leadership team. That might be failure. Success might be quitting now. It's not quitting. It's transitioning.

Lesley Logan 0:04  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:20  

All right, Be It babes. We got some action for you today.

Brad Crowell 0:24  

Yeah, mixing it up. 

Lesley Logan 0:25  

Well, there's the action, 1/3 of it. So Brad and I are so freakin stoked to mention this next guest to you.

Brad Crowell 0:34  

Yeah, my executive coach that I worked with for 18 months I think. His name is Adrian Koehler and just buckle up because he's about to blow your mind. He goes, so deep, deep, so deep that you're like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe the conversation going. I think I need to make all these amazing adjustments in my life.

Lesley Logan 0:57  

I know. I already feel like we have some good things that can make from what we heard today. 

Brad Crowell 1:01  

Yes, save this episode.

Brad Crowell 1:03  

Save this episode. You're gonna hear an amazing story about how Adrian got started. What he does, he's incredibly observant. And then oh my gosh, first guest, first guest to go bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted in all the steps so he gave you all of them. Typically, people give us one, right? And he goes, here's all of them. So just generous as fuck, and just a beautiful human being and really going to help you find that leadership within you and help you evaluate why you do what you do.

Lesley Logan 1:31  

All right, Be It, babes. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Podcast. I am so excited. We've got an amazing guest for you. Which of course, we always have an amazing guest. But we truly have one that it has been part of our lives for a really long time. And we also have Brad here because this amazing guest has Brad going oh, wait, I want to be there for this. So that's how amazing this guest is. Adrian Koehler, thank you so much for being here today. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?

Adrian Koehler 2:26  

Well. For number one, just awesome. It's so good to be with you guys love you both. And so Adrian Koehler and what I rock at. Wow, that's fun. Already fun prompts for a conversation. Who the hell am I? Be It Till You See It what a great conversation. So who the hell am I? I'm a dad, I'm a husband. I live in Los Angeles, I've got a full life full of chaos and beauty and all things in between. I professionally have a coaching leadership coaching and training company called Take New Ground. We do all sorts of work, which I'm sure we'll get into at some level. And I love it. I love fighting for people fighting for them, like fighting and sometimes I have to fight with them to fight for them. But like being a fierce advocate for people is my jam. I love it. I wake up in the morning for whatever reason. I'm wired to like, be in the foxhole. I just texted a guy I'll be I'll be in any foxhole with you, man. And that's just true for me. Like, let's go life's about living. So and death is abundance. So let's go You better get you know, anyway, that's my vibe. And I think I'm great at that. That really supporting people and advocating for them. At least results say that night as I'm alive in that. 

Brad Crowell 3:39  

I can vouch for that. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah, man.

Lesley Logan 3:42  

Yeah. Well, we met you because I heard you on a podcast. And you're like. 

Brad Crowell 3:47  

And then she quoted you. 

Lesley Logan 3:48  

Yes, I did. And then you.

Brad Crowell 3:50  

She told me. You just got to hug the cactus. (Lelsey: Yeah.) So I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? (Lesley: I know.)

Adrian Koehler 3:58  

Outside. A lot of beautiful varieties.

Lesley Logan 4:01  

And I was like, I signed up for his lead magnet. And I just kept forwarding the emails to him because I was like, why am I I'm not the CEO here. Why am I? And then I DM-ed you. (Adrian: Yes, that's awesome.) Yeah. And you're like, oh, I'll talk to him. And I was like, that is the coolest dude. He's just gonna talk to him. And so I was like, Babe, you got to talk to this guy. And he's like, yeah, yeah, when I'm ready. And I was like, okay, so we're on Brad time. So I just kept like, sending him more pics. And then he finally did. And so that's how we can absolutely vouch for how amazing you are and that you're in the foxhole.

Brad Crowell 4:35  

Yeah. So for all everyone listening. Actually, Adrian worked with me for like a year and a half actually, as an executive coach. And we would have calls multiple times a month and, you know, texting and meeting up and all the things and really helped shape how I operate as a CEO transitioning into the actual role from the office. I never had experience with that before, where before I was doing all the operations, and I was still leading a team and stuff, but it wasn't, I had no, I just didn't have any experience. So working with you was really enlightening because you get the opportunity to work with people in leadership and the CEO role all the time.

Lesley Logan 5:17  

So I have a question, though. How did you get started? It was like, how do you like, how do you get started in coaching leaders? Yeah.

Adrian Koehler 5:26  

I'll just share how I did. You know, there's lots of ways I think other people did, and I didn't ever remember, just remember, you know, when I got into this work, I was always like, scared that people are going to ask how I got into it, only because like, I have a very odd, eclectic background. And it took me a while to kind of hug that cactus, if you will, like befriend the oddity that I am, and the eclecticness that I am and all that, and then finally own it. So how did I get into this? Let me tell the shortest version of the story, then you can double-click on any stuff you're interested. So I have always been a leader. And I think that's a choice. I felt leadership, I was modeled leadership, my parents are leaders in the community, small town in southern Illinois. And a lot of opportunities to lead I ended up leading a lot I'm just thinking like as a kid. And part of that, you know, a lot of that choice, like stepping up, I got into leadership because the world felt really uncertain to me. And I felt really uncertain to me in the adolescent years, which I think we all do, one of the solutions to that was, oh, I can choose my own adventure. Okay, I'll do that. And people seem to want somebody to lead might as well be me that kind of thing. So anyway, was a leader, early athlete, like lots of opportunities to lead in athletics and quarterback of the high school team and all that kind of stuff, played, played football in college involved in student student stuff. And I just liked it. I liked being involved in stuff. I'm like, not a good guy in the stands. I'm a good guy on the field. Like, I like myself in the action, like, you know, my own experience of myself, I actually feel like I can influence something I'm much more engaged, and not a great spectator, which most people will attest to, or make jokes about. So even just the assistant coach on my son's baseball team, I'm an assistant coach. I'm an assistant coach on my son's baseball team. One of the other coaches said, Hey, Adrian is going to run practice on Wednesday, which was last night, he was gonna run practice on on Wednesday, but he runs it anyway. So anyway, Adrian is actually going to run practice on Wednesday, I was like, is that feedback like there's kids here. What are you trying to say? I tend to have an opinion about things tend to really want things to work and anyway I'II either jumps into if you decide to take it on, that's leadership, like jumping into effect something with other people. So in college, you know, I was a pre-med guy didn't want to do didn't want to become a doctor after I got into it didn't want to do the rigmarole and the whole thing. And I'm not that data driven. Just as a person, I'm like, human-driven, I started the ground and work my way up to meaning not start at the 30,000 foot level strategic and just like observational and make decisions down, I'm just better in the trenches kind of guy. So became a nursing major did that for a little bit, out of college, loved it, and was good at it worked intensive care. So mostly pediatric intensive care. So like being with families, when they were in the worst day of their entire life, most of them. (Brad: And advocating for people.) And advocating for people. And I'm like all the science part worked in my head really quick. I remember a bunch of stuff, and I'm quick on my feet. And but the relational dynamic was always most interesting to me. And actually, where I found myself making the biggest difference. So I'd like go to the leadership and say, hey, give me the hardest family, like who's crazy, essentially, I'd say like, who's the crazy mom on the floor? Because like moms would go, usually would feel big emotions, and express all those. Dads would usually go silent, and go internal, and get angry around some generals, and it's not always that way. But anyway, I liked helping people find a way through, harness themselves in order to like focus on the kid, focus on the plan, focus on what's needed, express all that in a way that works so that they don't, you know, people don't start, you know, avoiding them, because that's what happens. (Lesley: Right.) So anyway, I loved all that. I very faith, life is a big deal for me come from a spiritual background. It's spiritual, more than just any religious stuff's boring to me and people that want to argue religion I just don't have time for. But the idea of making the world a better place was always very captivating for me. And anyway, so I was involved in a spiritual community moved out to LA to join a church, essentially. And I was, I was an activist guy, so like, like befriending the poor, the marginalized, all that like world suffering, I'm into that and ended up being a part of once again, advocating for some solutions and helping everyday people that are out there have their jobs and their kids and the blah, blah, blah, inviting them into and a life-changing experience when they go serve. You know, so I dug that. And so I did that for like six or seven years, and got to speak a lot. And the church I worked at was very entrepreneurial, and very leadership driven. So it learned a lot about leadership got to teach leadership partner with Gallup Organization to teach the StrengthsFinder, like the pilot program for that. Then got to travel the world speaking on stages, it's centered around entrepreneurial leadership in that world. It's church planting, which is a lot harder than starting a business, where it's like, you start nothing with nothing, and we have no people and how do you, you know, build a community of altruistic people in the community. That's, that's anyway, there's five hours there, we can talk about that. But anyway, I've dug all that, through that I met a guy that had a lot of money because his dad had a lot of money. He was like a trust fund kid. And he, he had his own spiritual epiphany, wanted to start giving money away, which he'd never done before. And he came to me and I just happen to be the guy that meet him happen to be the guy that had all those spiritual conversations. And in that world, you baptize people and then make a big leap. And anyway, the significant I was just a friend of his mentor of his, and he said, would you help me do this? And sure, well, what do you want to do? Anyway, that meant leaving the church called Mosaic and starting a foundation with him and help taking him around the world to figure out what he cared about first, and then finding ways to build a structure to implement cash and resources and people to go make a difference whatever that looked like? They ended up looking like standing with people who had really blown it, like giving people a second chance. was started with Homeboy Industries in downtown LA, which is pretty well known I think to a lot of people, Father Greg Boyle. He's kind of the Mother Teresa of East LA, and started as an incubator for companies and the companies are all run by ex-gang members. So long story short, moving forward, got connected to some followed some Catholics into prison Catholics love restorative justice stuff, met a couple nuns going into prison, I get connected with this group of lifers, you know, all the guys that had murdered somebody, most of them and murdered someone, you know, 20 years before. And simultaneously, I met a guy named Dan Dakini. Dan, do you guys have met Dan? Dan had been in the leadership consulting management consulting world for about 30 years at that time. And then it also been doing leadership transformation work and a lot in oddly a lot with juvenile in the juvenile justice system. So he was really great. Crossover, yeah, really great at helping kids. He'd worked with a group out of Boston, and helping kids change their mindset so they could change their life. And essentially jumping from a victim mindset to responsible mindset. And his work is impeccable. Like recidivism rate, that's the word in that world like how likely are you to go back to prison? Average 86% of people leave prison and come back. If you go through dance program, it goes down, I think south of 12% I think it might even be eight. (Lesley: That's amazing.) Crazy. They follow them throughout their lives. So if you do this work well and help people become new between their ears, they've helped people be it until they see it, if you know what I mean. If they, if they can make that shifts, then their whole world changes. And then they shift, the world changes, and they get out and they don't want to go back. So anyway, did that work for a good while loved it, built a team, worked in prison. So my first kind of coaching clients as a without even any real training, besides all the leadership stuff I've done was in prison with murderers. And so we train the murderers to be trainers. So we did this apostolic kind of model, if you will, like train these guys to go out and be able to do the work themselves. So it's not like we're the white hope coming in from the outside. Because honestly, guys, we're from different backgrounds, and whatever. It's better if they because they're, they're all the leaders. They're all the shock colors in the prison anyway. Yeah. So we did that work, which was impeccable and awesome. The vision for that foundation became very focused. And I'm a let's make a huge flash kind of guy. So I said, I love you and adios. So through that I've been through all this training, I promise, I'm almost done, been through all this training, and this coaches Academy, and I thought, What do I want to do now? And I could easily do medical stuff, I could easily go back and do that. And I don't wanna do that. I could go back to pastoral type stuff. That's boring for a handful reasons. Philanthropic stuff is usually pretty stodgy and administrative and paperwork driven, which is not me. Or I could do this, which is kind of like, you know, all the leadership stuff, but full licence to kind of be exactly who I am. And it's just the right environment that like I get to be fully expressed, and keep growing, keep changing, keep learning all that kind of stuff. Like it's an it's an endless game. So that's how I got into the work.

Lesley Logan 14:32  

Okay, so I hope everyone just heard how not linear any of that was like, no, no, and I love that so much. Because I think I know people listening to this right now are thinking, oh my gosh, who am I to do this? Because my resume is kind of like all over the place. But that's actually what makes you the best at this because you have, you've led in so many different ways. You've experienced all the different sides of a coin. So then when you're working with leaders now, you can actually help them find the path that works for them without having like, this is the formula that everyone does. And it just we rinse and repeat. This is so cool.

Brad Crowell 15:05  

Yeah, I love that, like there's, you know, a lot of unplanned shifts and changes that were actually big time changes, you know, like, meeting happened to happening to meet a wealthy philanthropic guy who didn't know what to do with his money. What and then bumping into Dan, who was the cross over there. I love that, you know, my buddy, you know, told me one time when I was really because I'm also like, I struggle with control. And I also like to be the guy on the field. The guy on the field, calling the shots, and he told me one time he's like, Dude, you just got to ride the wave. You don't control the wave, you just ride it.

Adrian Koehler 15:50  

Or get crashed, one of the two.

Brad Crowell 15:53  

And I was like, oh, that's crazy. How come I've never thought about before? And that's cool to see like how it shifts and changes. And you know, you roll with it?

Adrian Koehler 16:03  

Yeah, yeah, even just it hit me, you know, life, want to say that's meaningful. The if I follow the script I just listened to this morning and the guy big podcasts are huge podcasts. I don't know if you guys know Chris Williamson from Modern Wisdom. He was he's on the rise. He's probably the next Rogan. He's what was the point, he was talking about how he's just not a five-year plan guy. And he came out of the productivity world. And so there's a lot of pressure to kind of have a plan have a very systematized blah, blah, blah, everything ratchets up to the - and I'm just like I'm not that guy. And in some ways, the same for me. Like, if I would have done a five-year plan, I wouldn't be getting to do this. I wouldn't, because I would have been like my own vision would have been my restriction. So because a lot of times when people talk about vision, they actually talk about an agenda. Meaning yes, here's what it is. And it must be this. And if I've talked about it, now I gotta stick with the plan. And it's supposed to suck, and they get out of they, they have all these signs and symptoms that what they thought was true a year ago is no longer true today. But it feels like failure, if they get off that and do something new, which I felt like, you know, it's like what I was saying at the beginning, like, I don't know, are people gonna respect me? If I show that I've had, like, I don't know, four or five major transitions that don't make any sense at all linearly? Are they gonna judge me for that? You know, it's like, do I need to build something like, you know, and I've just never been this five-year plan guy, I want to show up fully, and see what happens. Not that I'm not clear, because you know, you've been around me, I'm, like, pretty clear about what I'm up to. And but I'm really open to what I don't see. And all the possibility not all, but a lot of the possibilities in the periphery. And if I'm not looking left and right and checking things out, it's not like threats are out there. I mean, sometimes there are, but opportunities are out there too. And so it'd be willing to try something on and seeing if it's true for me, because I want to build a whole I get now I now I get it in hindsight led like the through line is fierce advocacy. That's what I love doing. So however I do that, and whatever environment I'm doing that that's great. And I might only do this for another year or two. I don't know, I have a plan to be here. I think I'll be doing this for a long time. I haven't found yet another thing that gives me the freedom for impact, like I have now. But who knows what's gonna happen.

Lesley Logan 18:28  

I like that you actually call that like the most people's visions and agenda. Because I think there's a big difference between like, how you picture the life, you want to live around feelings, you know, and like, what is a priority to you and your life, and allowing the steps that you take to be filtered through almost like a value vision system. Versus like, this date because I went to a Christian college so y'all, it was on this date I'll get married and on this date, I'll have a child and there'll be like this. It was like...

Brad Crowell 18:58  

Me too. I just wanted to get engaged so we get to hold hands.

Lesley Logan 19:10  

Well, you didn't go to my Christian college there are some very creative people there. But like I remember seeing all of that going that is a really like restrictive like, there's not a lot of room for surprise. Or like you're just going to be super disappointed.

Adrian Koehler 19:25  

When it doesn't go by ironically it's a Christian school. Ironically, that way of living has very little faith in it you know, like, who the hell's God? Who cares? I got my plan, man. I don't need serendipity. I don't need orchestration. I don't need providence. I don't need that shit. I am Providence. Look, here's the plan. Anyway.

Lesley Logan 19:49  

I wish I was that smart back then. So I but I do I do like that. Like there's a lot of freedom in this and I think some people the vision is like helpful for them because otherwise they like live in their stuckness. And for some people, no vision at all. It's also like very difficult. So like, how, how are you using like your drive this like, like your goal of like helping as many people as possible as how you make decisions? Like how are you making decisions on what you say yes to?

Adrian Koehler 20:19  

That's a great question. Let me see what the real answer to that is. So first off, it's not that I don't have a vision, I don't think you were saying that to me. You know, some people go out without a vision, not having a vision is a vision, like confusions of vision. There's lots of reasons for that. The principles scale, that'd be more my point, like, I'm really clear about what I'm about as a person, and the gift that I am not arrogantly saying that I just own it, like, I own what I'm really good at. And even just yesterday, a buddy, close friend of mine texted me saying, Hey, can we talk and he wanted to talk through all of his business stuff. And I like being the guy that like, when, when things are sideways, I'm the call you make, and I dig it as my like, gift, you know? So, but to your question, like, how do I make decisions, I've got to, I know where I want to go currently in my business. And that's, it's not just me, it's we like, we've got a team, and we're declared about that we're clear, we've got like, numbers we're gonna hit and types of events we're going to have and all that's like, lined out a business plan. I just really want to be open to being surprised. So quite often, I will, quote unquote, waste time. If you look at it, maybe even on the back end, and it looks like a waste of time, but I'm exploring, I don't know what's possible, about like, this person or this opportunity, I don't know. I mean, then if it doesn't fit, I could discard it. And, you know, a lot of like, focus culture, like that would be like, good for you. Like, you know, let your you know, it'd be a strong No, and I understand all that. But I, I just get much more joy out of like testing and seeing and, and seeing, seeing if something is possible there. And I love connecting. I'm not like a connector by habit for sure. Like, I love connecting great people just did it twice already this morning, connecting great people so that they can talk and maybe something beautiful happen. So I'm typically really trying stuff on. So, but to your question, how do I do that? I've got my values really clear, I do have my long-term interests at heart, I do have the interest of my team at heart. You know, we're talking about an idea right now, that's got a lot of trepidation in it with for me and for us as a, as a team and my business partner. And, essentially, I want to let him loose to go express what he wants to express. And I've got lots of some trepidation around that around because we have some differences and how we see things and how we operate in the world, but I'm gonna go see it, and we're going to talk about it a lot, and vet out the possibilities, and then run it and then go see if it works or not. And it's probably going to polarize a lot of our clientele, you know, we're just going to go deep, we're gonna go, we're gonna double down on the stand that we're taking in culture. So I want to go look, you know, I've got explorer's mindset, if I find bullet-pointed for your audience, my principles are really clear. My long term goals are really clear. And I'm as committed to be an explorer as I am to being an executive, which is really, especially in my context, my job because I've got kind of the most robust network of my team. And I'm in Hollywood, blah, blah, blah. And I'm really good at meeting people and generating possibility with them. (Lesley: Yeah.) relational possibility, business possibility. So my job is to go out there. And you know, my son's name is Scout, for example, like, that's what I'm up to like, let me go out, I'll come back to camp later. Let me go see what's over that mountain. Then I'll come back and report like, I love that lifestyle.

Lesley Logan 23:47  

I love that. Thank you for explaining that. Because I think I think that that's so helpful. One, your strengths are all involved in what you're doing. And then again, you're clear on your principles and your values and what your long-term interests are. So that takes a lot of knowing yourself. You're sure.

Brad Crowell 24:02  

That's what I was just gonna say. Yeah, but not only that, I think that you have intentionally built a business that allows you to enjoy the things that you enjoy.

Adrian Koehler 24:23  

Right on. Yes. Yeah.

Brad Crowell 24:24  

How about that? That's an interesting idea. I feel like a lot of people are just trapped you know, and you know, like, I have often felt trapped and sometimes even in our own business where we call the shots, I still feel trapped. But the the flexibility of the lifestyle that you know, you want to live have it like building a business that allows you to do that. Yeah, going in scouting or being able to just pick up and go work at a coffee shop like for Lesley and I when we first started I'm conceptualizing what a life could look like, together, we asked what, what are the things that are important, and we love to travel. And so when we first started dating, it was like, well, how could we build a life where we could work from anywhere? And we didn't have the answer? You know, and yeah, but it slowly started to happen over, took years, you know. But yeah, being able to build a build something or create a business in that way. That's very free.

Adrian Koehler 25:33  

It is freeing, you know, and freedom requires a whole bunch of risk. You know, I mean, it's what you guys are doing, like, when you decide to bet on yourselves. There's lots of upside to that. There's lots of downside meaning, like, there's like, yeah, so at some point, you'll have to suffer. And like, you know, be confined. I mean, most of our work now is working with founders of companies, I like founder-driven organizations. And almost all of them build a company, they do not want to run.

Lesley Logan 26:05  

How is that happening, though? Because of fear? Is it happening because they don't have, they don't have the, the, their values and vision and principles or the like, it just happened because they were kind of just following the money? Like, how do you have an idea what happened? 

Adrian Koehler 26:18  

Well, for most of them, for most of them, you know, they're not CEOs. They're entrepreneurs, they're founders. And, you know, running something, maintaining something over time, and like managing people, like, that's just not of their interest. I mean, they will resist the shit out of it, and complain about them all the time. Usually, when I meet them, they're full of complaints about their team. And, you know, they like to be there in the startup. And then they, you know, naturally, they're psychologically very attached to the thing, because it's them. And it's their brand, it's their full expression, they're known for that, let's say for three, four years, five years, however long it takes to get into a successful place. And then they're at this place, and nobody's given them permission, really, to say, hey, it's actually probably best for everybody, if we create a process in which you can step out, or step up, usually up and out, like, go to the board, run the thing, be or whatever, you know, and then hire somebody to do all the shit you don't want to do. And so you could quit, like, you know, abusing people on a daily basis, like you don't like it, you know, and you, you know, you've had so much turnover, and you don't trust anybody, and because you don't play that well in the sandbox, and you can, I can help them if they want to, like, become a leader in that way. But most of them really don't when they're honest. Like, if you could leave, and go start the next thing, and this thing would stay successful. Would you want that? That answer is 99% of the answer, yes. But they're so trapped by it in their own mind, that they can't leave. And they've created a whole world in which they're very essential, most of them, and which is really natural for us, as people I think. And yeah, ego and, and, you know, they're, they, for lots of reasons, I don't want to go on too long. But like, for lots of reasons, they've set the whole world up to be really essential. Instead of being like, they are unique contribution. And but the, that's very different than being essential. And so trusting other people, that's not a small feat, like communicating what you really think and feel is not a small feat. Slowing down is not a small feat. Investing, taking a risk on somebody, like bringing in somebody that's at their level, that would cost them more money. And that's a you know, that's a big deal. We've talked about that. They you know, and like, that's not a small feat, you know, usually what's needed, either you gotta want to train people, or like, you know, it takes somebody that's full of raw talent, and really invested in them, which takes time, and they're all very short, they don't have time. So, don't do that, or spend a lot of money. Those are kind of your two options. Or you could do what you're doing now, which is hire cheaper people and not invest in them and then get the shitty returns of that is so, you know, that's why I mean, I think people don't give themselves a lot of permission to to step up and step out. Yeah. And I think they're, they're tied, right? They're tied to, like, I gotta walk this thing all the way out until we raise a bunch of money or until we sell the thing, and it feels like failure. And so I give them a lot of room to hey, you might want to recalculate around this. Failure might be being miserable for the next five years and losing another whole senior leadership team. That might be failure. Success might be quitting now. It's not quitting. It's transitioning.

Brad Crowell 29:32  

Yeah, I was gonna ask you about like, like, it's like when you were describing the predicament that a lot of founders find themselves in or entrepreneurs find themselves in. The word bottleneck came into my head of like, they inadvertently become it. And they don't even realize it. You know, because they need that because they're, because it was their thing. They built the thing. I know I'm speaking from literal personal experience that because I had my hands involved in everything because I built it all, you know, then letting go of that. How how do you? How do you help someone realize that they are the problem? 

Adrian Koehler 30:15  

Yeah. So many things. Let's see, how do I help somebody realize they're the problem? Well, in my first conversation with them, I want to really hear all their complaints. Because that helps gets it builds vulnerability, builds rapport, like the say stuff to me, they haven't said anybody else I really want to dig. So when they complain about something in a general way, I want to get them specific about it. Because there's a lot there. And human beings are just resentment machines. So it's good to like, get all that out now. And then I'll ask how long has it been that way? And for most of those answers, it's not like, oh, is it started yesterday? No, it wasn't last week wasn't last month, it's been for a couple years. Okay. So let's then entertain the idea. Why do you like the things you say you don't want? Because that's what I say is that, especially everybody, I'm talking to like you guys, like brilliant, hard-charging full of initiative. If there's pretty much anything you don't want in your life, you get rid of it. You can get rid of it. So if you keep it around, here's that the counterintuitive question is like, if you've kept it around, or if it's still been happening as a pattern for two years, there must be some hidden benefit to keeping it so. And they say, oh, no, it's not I'm like I get it. Of course, it's not, let's entertain the idea as if it is, let's just play a game. If it was a winning strategy to be this upset on a constant basis with your senior leadership team, what's the winning strategy? Like if there's benefit, and there's lots of answers to that, right, superiority, control, look good in my own eyes, you know, manipulate people license, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, long list of payoffs to it. And then what are the prices to it? Because there's a shit ton of prices, as many are probably more prices that they're paying. But even when you look out from themselves, which they're usually most concerned about, look out, what's the impact on other people? What's the impact on your future to keeping this thing going? Okay, good. Now, you, whatever you have, either you created it, or you allowed it, that's the idea I've got and the thing I live with, for myself. Like if whatever's going on in my life, I either created it, or I've allowed it, no other room. Not like it happened. Not like it happened to me. Not like it's my wife, not like it's my business partner. Not like it's the market, not like it's anything else I've either created or I've allowed it. So I'm weird in that way. But the purpose of that is to generate a bed of personal responsibility is if I own all the shit that I've got in my life that I typically complain about, I own it, like I want it to be here, then I've got up then I've got some, I've got choice, that if I didn't choose this, I can't choose something new. If it happened to me, and I gotta wait for it to change, which is like if they if the market if the blah, blah, blah, and I'm now subject to everything else, which feels powerless. And people react crazy. And they're maniacs and very justified in their mania, if they are in that disempowered, victim-me stance, just like all the murderers in prison.

Brad Crowell 33:27  

So basically on your ship.

Adrian Koehler 33:29  

Yeah, yeah, well, you know, and show yourself a lot of grace, because most of them have been the top of class in everything they've done, right. And there's a when you're successful, there's a lot of pressure to like, keep it up and live this persona like to look like you've got it all together. And we call that the imposter syndrome now, because we don't want to deal with the fact that we're all imposters, at least my view. We're all imposters, if we're venturing after something I've never done before I am deciding to be an imposter. I'm writing checks, I don't know if I can cash and I'm gonna throw myself at it. And if I fail, I'm gonna get back up and go again. But of course, I feel insecure because I'm venturing I'm doing something it's full of fear. Of course it is. And, you know, I need to go have a tough conversation with my senior leader, my VP of Marketing and have a tough conversation. I never took a class on how to have tough conversations. So this is gonna be rocky Yes, it is gonna be bad. It's okay. This is like the thing. They've throw yourself at it with a vision and your commitment to the person and your own sense of honesty, and your sense of like, wanting oneness to be together. If you want to work with this person, then that's great. That's all you need. And you're gonna figure out how to do it and I train people how to talk about stuff, but like, that's my point, I guess final point is that own it and then let yourself be real like you're a mixed bag like you're both sinner and saint that's all we got anyway, so if you can befriend welcome to hugging the cactus if we see the stuff in our lives, like the dark side of our lives, our own criminal illness our own like and I talk about it like this, like the sides of me that I want to hide. I want to chicken out, I want to be self-righteous, I want to be arrogant. I want to grandstand I want to go to, you know, I got a long list of things I do to deal with uncertainty. And that's all my dark side. And if I can see that stuff and own it and befriend it and hug that puppy, then it doesn't run my life. Now, it's an ally of mine, because when those responses or defense mechanisms show up, they're telling me, I'm off, not it. I, I'm off, so I can befriend that it's a cue to me that hold on, let me slow myself down. Let me get connected. Let me get myself grounded. Let me you know, so if I can do that, with some grace, like, some I don't know, forgiveness for myself, understanding that I'm not perfect. I don't need to be perfect. It seems like ideal is a good deal. But it's always a bad deal. Because it's not, life's not like that. So giving themself that space. Usually they don't live in a gracious environment. They haven't created it for themselves. So that's why they end up being really rough on other people. 

Lesley Logan 35:59  

Yeah. Ah, so good. Adrian, I would keep going. But yeah, we'll have to have you back. We're going to take a brief break. And we're gonna find out where we can find you, follow you, stalk you, work with you and then your Be It Action Items. 

Lesley Logan 36:17  

All right, Adrian, where do you hang out in the world? Where can people connect with you learn how to hug a cactus with you? What's the next steps?

Adrian Koehler 36:26  

Socially, Instagram is on there just like everybody else. It's Adrian.K on Instagram. I post stuff all the time. Love to have a dialogue with anybody. Love to argue with anybody. You got, you know, contrarian views. That's great. Bring it up. (Brad: He's really good at getting out there.) Really? Watch out.

Adrian Koehler 36:48  

Yeah, get my wife in there and she's like, you are not fun. I'm like, I know. I don't think I'm that funny either.

Adrian Koehler 36:57  

But yeah, so I think on Instagram love to engage with folks there. We've got as far as like, ways to engage. That's a great place to start. Takenewground.com is our thing, is our website, which is fairly simple. And just going to let you know our ethics and how we operate. The word bullshit is on there, I think it's the most popular phrase or word on the on the website, just because we say most coaching is bullshit. Most training is bullshit assessments are measured, which I think is most people's experience. Ours too. So we stand to stand out from that. And the way we do that is we get real, you know, let's get really strategic, very effective. Let's do all those best business practices in the context of honesty, like relational honesty, so people that love working with us are folks that are really ready to get to the heart of the matter, which is human beings are unendingly complex. I'm on anything like complex and I got to jump into a deep conversation about self-mastery before I go looking at anybody else's backyard. So anyway, people can connect us that way, we've got a handful of kind of, if people want to dip their toe in the water, three things coming up, I'll be quick about it. One is like we've got to we've generated a negotiation training. (Lesley: That's cool.) It's not Life's not Fair. It's what you negotiate. We're gonna do it out in LA end of July. So if you go to takenewground.com/nlab or negotiation lab, nlab you'll learn about that. And we love it. And it's just really, it's a it's around a lot of things like a lot of like how to work with conflict, how to do some strategic negotiations, which is what some of us need to be doing that. But all of us need to be negotiating in life like and how we approach life, you know, even it's like, what's going on for dinner tonight? That's a negotiation might sound extreme to say it that way. But like, you know, you know what I mean, it is. So how do you want? How do they help other people? Yeah, how do they help other people get what they want. So we have a like a negotiation quiz, if they're interested in that. So that's negotiation.takenewground.com you're gonna take a quiz, we made it for you guys. So you have a view into we've got like five negotiation styles, it's good to know your own. And the upsides to it in the blind spots in it. And if you want to up your game, come to the training. Which is great, which is great and fun. We do like a deep deep dive Leadership Academy. That's, it's called the Intrepid Leadership Academy. That's going to start in August as well. It's out here in LA as well. And it's like three weekends over three months, and it's a cohort of around 20 people, it's already filling up as we speak, then it's awesome if you definitely if you run a company, it would help you if you are a senior leader in a company, it would help you if you're an aspiring future senior leader, it's going to help you it's really around the art and style of self leadership and then making a difference with other people. So it's really sees leadership through the coaching paradigm like the conversational nature of reality and leadership. Everything happens in language. So that's for folks that are really interested in a deep dive. That's the Intrepid Leadership Academy. And then the last thing is like the easiest first step, probably. And it's, it's called The Revenant Process, which is a four day deep dive personal leadership academy. There's a, we just had 41 people in the room and Boise two weeks ago, we're going to be in Hawaii. Hello, in October. (Lesley: Sounds fun.) And it's gonna be awesome. I mean, you guys are coming. So that's great. I'm just kidding.

Lesley Logan 40:31  

That's maybe on the way home from Cambodia.

Adrian Koehler 40:33  

I hear you love travel. (Lesley: We do.) Anyway, so the Revenant Process, and that's wearerevenant.com for those that are looking for. For specific next steps, you go check that out. It is it is mind-bending, heartbreaking, reconstituting it's awesome. (Lesley: I love it.) I went through that training, like 12 years ago, when I was running the foundation, and I thought, holy shit, I've never been in a room to talk like this. And it's really about the stand that you take in the world. So it's around your vision and make and living your commitment, living your word, and getting a ton of feedback around how that's doing how, like how that's working with other people. So it's much about community. So that's awesome. And if you just want to, like, explore if you got a team, and you want to like if you're having issues, now you want to scale your team, you want to clean some stuff up, you can just reach out to me and I can connect you, I'll either talk to you or there's there's a perfect person on my team to connect you with. We have a growing team of consultants that are amazing that we've all trained. So we've got somebody that can help you for sure.

Lesley Logan 41:31  

Love it. Well, you've given us so many amazing things. And by the way, guys, all those will be in the shownotes. All those links are just easy. Click the button. Bold, executable, intrinsic targeted steps that people can take to be it till you see it? What do you have for us?

Adrian Koehler 41:45  

Yeah. Well, bold. That's actually one of our core values of our company.

Adrian Koehler 41:55  

To be bold, I know for me to be bold is to and I'm a pretty strong personality. So I can, I can look bold, often. The boldness for me is to give myself the space to get real about what I really want. Now, it might sound weird, but I'm a really service-oriented guy. And I'm guessing most of the leaders that listen to this are really service-oriented, you guys are all about helping other people. The challenge with that is you can spend your life serving other people and you become really dry, which I've got lots of stories about how that doesn't work out in your life for me. So I think the boldest thing is to slow down, get clear about any kind of complaints I've got get clear about any kind of resentments I've got any kind of muck that I know that I've been carrying around for a while. And the bold action is to get that shit on paper and ask myself the question, do I want to live with this? Or is there some kind of new future that I'm, I least want to, you know, go create, then you're probably you're probably need to go. The next one is executable. The next thing you probably need to do is to find somebody to go talk to about that. Now you might not be around people that you trust, or the people that you quote unquote trust. Maybe can't handle that seem to go find somebody. Some people go hire a coach for this kind of stuff.

Brad Crowell 43:22  

Get some bullshit coaching. 

Adrian Koehler 43:24  

Yes, yes. Get some bullshit coaching. They'll pat you on the back if you want some no-bullshit coaching. Yeah, that is, right. But the next spot is to like, take action on that, like, the life is short. Life is really short. We we don't know. Right? How long we got on this planet. So I just get after it. So I think the next thing is like go, I mean, I'd say the word confess, which might sound weird. Go speak that out loud. Like let it be so that your any like the figure, I've got this quote that's always impactful to me. Like people find a level of despair that's tolerable and call that happiness. Like, if you don't have hope that something could get better. It makes the heart sick, says the old rabbi. And if you if you've got that, then I wouldn't settle for that anymore. And part of this solution especially for hard driving type A get shit done, perfectionistic people is we feel that nobody can handle me. Most people I think, at least I know that's part of my shtick that I'll run on myself is like if I was really honest, they'd run for the hills. Or if I was really honest, I'd be too much for them. That's one of my lies I tell myself and for them that might be true. I just gotta find a new them you know, like, is that all Paul Simon line I will not be convicted by a jury of my peers. I just gotta get some new peers man that's that's what hit me is like just you'll be convicted by some people that don't can't handle it. Go find somebody to talk to, you know, whether that's somebody close to you, or some kind of coach go find somebody to go be yourself with be messy. Stop being the icon of a leader and go be the mixed up messy leader that you were actually are like get out of the persona and get into who you are.

Lesley Logan 45:08  

Oh my gosh, you're phenomenal. These are so amazing. Adrian.

Adrian Koehler 45:13  

What's the third one?

Lesley Logan 45:14  

Oh, you can well I feel like you got intrinsic in there right because, like you got to like confess and then the targeted was like a real like get real specific with these things. So you nailed it.

Brad Crowell 45:26  

I love the part about the good at finding people who you could be messy with because I think that's that's as much a part of the trap as anything else. Yeah. Is that is the people that we surround ourselves with. And so man, just wisdom, wisdom, man, dude, I miss you. (Lesley: Yeah.)

Adrian Koehler 45:49  

I know. We may find myself in such a journey so much fun here.

Lesley Logan 45:53  

Well, we are gonna do this again. We're also going to get ourselves to LA, Hawaii or something and then hug you and see your beautiful family and y'all how are you gonna use these tips in your life? Let us know tag Adrian, tag Be It in the pod. Share this with a friend who needs to learn how to hug the cactus. And Adrian, thank you for being your awesome self. Until next time everyone, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 46:11  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell 46:11  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 46:11  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 46:11  

Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 46:11  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 46:11  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Explore the intricate connection between self-esteem and intentional self-care with Brad. In this FYF episode, he showcases the beauty of unhurried moments and their lasting impact. Dive in to be inspired by Brad's heartfelt message of self-compassion and the value of personal time.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

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In this episode you will learn about:

• How investing in your growth can manifest your vision
• The importance of taking breaks to enhance mental space for clarity and creativity
• How scheduling breaks and prioritizing oneself can boost confidence

Episode References/Links:

• Mentions, U.K. Claire Sparrow, Agency member: Ep 163. Stop Letting Your Pelvic Health Define You

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. 

Lesley Logan 0:05  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Brad Crowell 0:59  

Hey, Be It family. Brad here stepping in for LL for this week's Fuck Yeah Friday. Welcome back to FYF, where we get to celebrate your wins and then we get to celebrate some wins of ours and talk about why we celebrate wins in the first place. So we have an amazing win from UK, Claire, Claire Sparrow. She's in our agency coaching group. And we just had an awesome opportunity to go over to England to meet up with her and do our mullet tour. Sure, you heard us mention that recently where we visited Scotland and then we went down into England to meet up with Claire. So Claire is from Scotland. And she's been living in England for a really long time. And she had this amazing dream of getting a cottage up in the north of Scotland. And she was finally able to make that happen. So here's what she wrote, "I'm here in Scotland at my cottage that I wrote down to make 2021 that I wanted to create in a year. A year later, we had a place that fell through because the universe just knew it wasn't for us. I really wasn't. It really wasn't for us yet I grieve that loss. And then I dug deeper into raising more funds by investing into further coaching. I upleveled my online offerings. And here we are two years later, exactly two years to the date that I wrote the vision for our Scotland home that we got. I wrote it, I wrote that I wanted it to be a traditional cottage in a village with woodlands, a river and a sea and walking distance and hills, too. By the way, I wasn't asking for too much, LOL. It turns out that's exactly what we got all of it. And today I'm here in the power of the pause I wanted to create, taking the entire month off. And in that vision that we, that the universe provided." So right now she's there for a full month up at her cottage. It's pretty amazing. She said, "And because I had that extra year of digging in and investing, we are now in a better financial position. So we feel even more confident taking the time off and doing some fun renovations to our new place. So today, this is my big win and I am full of gratitude. I also wanted to remind us all about the power of the pause, I have had more clarity and vision for the future in the four days since I've been here than I have had in ages, the space and the pause makes us more creative. It makes us more clear, concise, when we return back to our normal lives." 

Brad Crowell 3:24  

So, Claire, unreal, we're so proud of you, we're so happy for you. I know we celebrated your cottage before, but I love that you took time off for yourself. And in that time off, you actually have been reflective enough to see what that pause, what that space is creating for you. I hope that it's bringing more like rejuvenating you more giving you more excitement and energy to return back home, giving you time to ideate to come up with better plans of how you can serve the people that you're serving, and make their lives better and continue to sell into them. We just love you so much. And we are so excited for you and your family. And maybe someday we'll be able to come see your beautiful space that you're carving out there, way up in the north and Scotland. Unreal, amazing. So excited. Y'all I hope you can see her win and take some of these suggestions in for you and see how they can be applied in your life. Maybe you can take some time off. Maybe you can take even just a day or even just an afternoon and give yourself that mental space to veg out to get caught up. Maybe take a nap. Maybe take a walk. But allow yourself to just think and I know for me, I pack my time so much that I hardly give myself time to think because I'm either listening to a podcast or I'm you know working or I'm you know, I don't know whatever it is. But my day is so, so full all the time that I very rarely give myself just time to pause. Right? And that actually leads me to my win. 

Brad Crowell 5:09  

So, I gave myself this, this is way trivial compared to Claire's, you know, getting a cottage. However, for me, this is a big deal because I never give myself time to pause. I never give myself time. I just don't give myself time. Right? And normally, this is how I get my hair cut. I don't actually cut my hair, I just shave the sides of my head. And Lesley has an amazing hairstylist who's also a barber. And whenever Lesley goes and gets her hair colored, while Lesley's getting her, you know, the dye is of whatever, it's happening. And it takes time, right? 30, 45 minutes, she's sitting there waiting. And in that moment, I hop into the chair. The hairstylist is actually a famous barber, so she zips up the side of my head, gives me a nice haircut. But really, it's just a shave. She's just like, me, me, me, me, me and okay, you're done. You know, and, and that's all the time I ever really leave myself to go get my hair cut. Well, this time, I decided you know what we're about to hit the road, we're about to go on tour. And I want to actually get my hair cut for real, I want to look good, I want to feel good. And on a Saturday afternoon, instead of leaving myself 30 minutes to like, bing, bang, boom, get it done. I just scheduled a hair appointment. And I went in and I didn't have a stop time. And you know, she didn't have another client immediately after me. So we got to take our time and you know, chat and talk about the van being wrapped and do all these fun things. And then sit down and she worked on my hair and there was no rush, there was no stress and giving myself that time to actually get a haircut that I enjoy that makes me feel confident about me. That's my win today. And I hope that you are able to give yourself that same space that time that pause that Claire was talking about that I just inadvertently also gave myself and, and it was really enjoyable. So I hope that you can find something in there for you and schedule yourself an afternoon where you can do some self-care and feel confident about you and enjoying life. So thank you so much for listening, y'all. It's been so fun to do these pods. We love it. Hell yeah, for FYFs. You know, Fuck Yeah Friday. It is time for the weekend, y'all. Stay tuned for the next one. All right, love you. Bye.

Lesley Logan 7:39  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell 8:09  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 8:15  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 8:18  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 8:25  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 8:31  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this episode, Brad and Lesley delve into the fascinating story of Nikole Mitchell, famously known as the "pastor turned stripper". She bravely transitioned from a pastor's life to a flourishing career as a coach and advocate for self-expression. Discover how Nikole's journey to self-acceptance inspires others to liberate themselves from societal norms and expectations.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How embracing the "Be It" mindset may result in losing your circles.
• The advantage of seeking a coach or community that aligns with your values.
• Not allowing other people’s fears to influence you. 
• How asking for positive feedback helps set the tone for success.
• Protecting your dream by not allowing others’ opinions to mold you.

Episode References/Links:

• Agency Mini Seven-Day Coaching Program
• eLevate
• Cambodia Pilates Retreat
• Claire Sparrow

Books Mentioned:

• Tough Titties by Laura Belgray
• Women, Food, and Hormones by Sara Gottfried MD, Donna Jay Fulks, et al.
• The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
• We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers and HarperCollins Leadership
• Esrahaddon by Michael Sullivan
• Menopocalypse by Amanda Thebe
• Purple Cow, New Edition by Seth Godin
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code: LESLEY15

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Join us at Agency Mini - Sept. 10-16, 2023

Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023

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Amy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs"

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
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• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Sometimes you do have to tell people this is what I need from you. I think sometimes we expect people to know like, oh, I'm doing this big thing, you should just post something nice. But people, they don't know how the algorithm works or how things work. They don't actually know what you need, you have to tell people, here's what I need.

Lesley Logan 0:07  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:21  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the bold conversation I had with Nikole Mitchell in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, you should, whether you do it right now, or after this, or whatever, but it's amazing. So pause this, go back and look, if you're listening in our OPC app, it's really easy to just like flip between the episodes. If you're in your any other of the tools, they typically will drop the latest one first. So if you miss Tuesdays, and you're like, oh, I always miss Tuesdays, well, then you can actually set your settings to tell it to what to do. So you never miss the interviews. Anyways, Nikole is amazing. And we'll talk about her in a minute. She's one of our new dear friends. I feel like so that's fine. (Brad: Starting to that.) I know, I'm actually really annoyed at the time that we're recording this, you are going to see Nikole and her partner. And I'm going to miss them. And it was like a monthly meet-up we were doing that I'm missing. (Brad: I know.) Or what. Ah. (Brad: Yeah.) Anyways. 

Brad Crowell 1:23  

We'll take pictures. 

Lesley Logan 1:25  

I know you will. Nikole, make sure to capture the moment. But today is National Buy a Book Day, everyone. Also National Beer Day. So you can (Brad: Oh yeah. Grab a beer.) And a book. (Brad: Buy a book.) And I wanted to do a shout-out to some of our guests who have books that I can recall. And if you've been on the show, and you have a book and I forgot I'm so sorry. But Claire Sparrow, her book is actually coming out in a couple of weeks. (Brad: Nice.) So definitely be on the lookout for that. That is a book that every woman should buy their friend. Jake Helfer has an amazing book and also helps you write a book. 

Brad Crowell 2:05  

He got a book that helps you write a book. 

Lesley Logan 2:06  

There's just like, I mean, we've had so many people who've written a book. We've got some guests coming up, we've got books coming out. Actually, last week's guest, Rory Vaden, he's written a couple books and bestsellers. So go buy one of our guests' books. Take a picture and tag them and the Be It Pod so we can reshare it. Then also this week we are actually it's the last few days to sign up for our Agency Mini, our Seven-Day Coaching Program for fitness instructors especially Pilates instructors, who are looking for some clarity on their business, getting their burning questions answered, make sure they're on the right path. So that you can have to sign up before Sunday. And if you're listening this on Monday (Brad: It's coming out of the wire folks.) so you got to sign up because our next one is not until the next year which is not in January. It's going to be maybe later in January but probably in February. So and also it is the last few days to get your application in for eLevate my program, my mentorship program for Pilates instructors so it's a big week around here. And so you should do the thing that is in your like best for you for your business and for your teaching right now.

Brad Crowell 3:12  

Yeah, so profitablepilates.com/mini or lesleylogan.co/elevate.

Lesley Logan 3:20  

Yes. Then after a few weeks of like, just enjoying Las Vegas in the fall weather that starts up. We'll leave and go to Cambodia. We'll be there for a couple of weeks which is our retreat (Brad: Holy cow I cannot wait.) which is basically full.

Lesley Logan 3:34  

You are welcome to you know, do your Eat, Pray Love and sign up last minute if you want but if you're wanting to, to do next year's go to lesleylogan.co/retreat to get on the waitlist because we'll do October again next year only one.

Brad Crowell 3:51  

While we're still selling tickets right now. It's just going to show all of that. But one of the FAQs is like I really can't come this year. I want to get on the waitlist. So check that up.

Lesley Logan 4:00  

Yeah, yeah. And then and then after I get back from that I'm here for some days, few days. And then I go to Chicago with Erika Quest.

Brad Crowell 4:09  

That's gonna be a party. And honestly, I'd love to go to but I'm staying home with the pups. 

Lesley Logan 4:14  

You are. And that reminds me of the dogs that are for those couple days in Nashville. But we'll do that after this. And then in December

Brad Crowell 4:23  

That's how sausage is made folks. 

Lesley Logan 4:25  

This is it. Oh, shoot, we need the dog. December. We're back on the road for our winter tour. So stay tuned for the details on all of that goodness. Before we talk about Nikole. Brad, we have a question. (Brad: We do.) I pulled this one in honor of the day.

Brad Crowell 4:41  

Yeah, I love it. So since today is the National Buy a Book Day. Oh, by the way, go to Whole Body Pelvic Health for Claire Sparrow's book. (Lesley: Oh fabulous.) Yeah, go to wholebodypelvichealth.co.uk.

Lesley Logan 4:53  

And every other guest that we did not call out where to get. We love you. (Brad: Yeah, we love you.) Go to the show notes of your episode. 

Brad Crowell 5:00  

Yeah. Okay, so we had all these questions, favorite books, what favorite books are we reading? And 

Lesley Logan 5:11  

I'm gonna go first. 

Brad Crowell 5:12  

You listed a few of them here. 

Lesley Logan 5:13  

Yeah, I listed a few and you can, you know, come up with your own as well. But I am currently listening to Tough Titties by Laura, Laura Belgray. I actually, she was actually my writing coach, my copywriting coach many moons ago. And it's just a fun story. Women, Food and Hormones by Sarah, Dr. Sarah Gottfried. That is an interesting, dense book. But hey, I'm 40. So we're reading it, The Big Leap I say this, every time someone asked me for a book, I listened to this annually. I literally call and go, Oh, I'm upper limit myself right now. Like his book is like my life Bible, to be completely honest. And then We Should All Be Millionaires. I've read that one off before, but I just think many women as possible should read that about money. It's so, so important. Brad, do you have a book that you're reading currently?

Brad Crowell 6:06  

I do. I have a few. And so the first one that I wanted to talk about is one of my favorite authors of all times, his name is Michael J. Sullivan. He's prolific. He's got like 20 books. And I'm reading his most recent book that came out last year, called Esrahaddon. And that's a character's name that's why it means nothing to anybody. But it's so well written, everything that he's done is so fascinating because he completely ties everything together in an incredible way. That like over 20 books, there's like, all these pieces that are all connected. It's really, really impressive. I just finished reading Menopocalypse: How I Learned to Thrive During Menopause and How You Can, Too. And I did that because I think it's important for me to know about that topic. So there's another book that, let's see, I've just got so many that are on my list here. I'm going through my literally right now just flipping through my Audible account. There's one called well, I think this is a good one, The Purple Cow: Transform Your Business By Being Remarkable. (Lesley: Oh, so good.) 

Lesley Logan 7:29  

So essential even though he talks about some things that are like really old. Everything is still applicable today. So good.

Brad Crowell 7:37  

Yeah. So if you're interested in actually any of those things just ping us and I'll happily happily share a link.

Lesley Logan 7:43  

We need Seth on the show. Who knows Seth? (Brad: Yeah. Who knows Seth? We should totally have Seth on the show.) I want to have Seth on the show. Just by me saying Seth if you know Seth, you know who I'm talking about. I want your help. Anyways, I love when people ask us about what books we're reading and what podcasts because it changes over time based on your like interests and everything and it's so, so important to immerse yourself in topics the things you don't know some things for pleasure some things for inspiration.

Brad Crowell 8:09  

All about it. Okay, now let's talk about Nikole Mitchell. Nikole Mitchell with her refreshingly honest and bold demeanor, emanates genuine authenticity demonstrating an intuitive connection with her body that encourages women to embrace and love themselves. 

Lesley Logan 9:08  

Yeah. She's phenomenal. She's so great. 

Brad Crowell 9:12  

Yeah, I think her one-liner is a bit shocking. She's a pastor turned stripper. (Lesley: Yes.) I think the shock value is a little bit on purpose. It definitely raises eyebrows. And you know what

Lesley Logan 9:25  

Hey, well, as we know from guest Alex Street, you have to have a story that can be told in three seconds. You can expand into 30 seconds, maybe into three minutes and keep going but like you have to go where was I, where am I now? Like, everyone has that. Like, I was in retail now I'm a Pilates instructor or I was homeless now I like I have a five-bedroom house. Like... 

Brad Crowell 9:45  

Well, my point in this is that you know, when she was a pastor, we didn't know her when she was a pastor and but I can imagine the type of pastor that she is based on the type of person that we have met today, so and it has completely up ended my understanding of what a stripper is. Who a stripper is, like, in my mind. Like, it's, I don't think I ever I never conceptualize being friends with someone who's like, yeah, that's what I do. And it's been so funny because she, I guess,

Lesley Logan 10:24  

Well I think what's so cool about her, we're gonna get through in a second but like it's really, because I'm a Pilates instructor and so like, it feels like it's part of but I'm not just a Pilates instructor and when we hang out I am more like it's like I'm just talking about like teasers all the time, I actually do talk about a lot of other things that have nothing to do with it. (Brad: Exactly.) What is so what you forget about that with yourself when you think like your job is kind of just like what it's, it's a normal ish job, right? Because she's a stripper, and we've only known her is that what I love is when we were hanging out it's only talking about stripping. We don't talk about her taking clothes off (Brad: No.) like we can, that is an that is a conversation that can come up and she would not shy away from it. But like, ever, she is the perfect example that we are all more than what we consider our job or our career. And she is a multifaceted person. And if you do follow her on Only Fans, like I get I get tons of like aspirations and informations from all of her posts.

Brad Crowell 11:27  

Yeah, she she's also a life coach, she started coaching people before she started her Only Fans account. You know, and I didn't actually I kind of went down the rabbit hole just to read a little bit more about her when we were doing these interviews and stuff. And I thought that was really amazing. She is just, she has a, her story, which I thought was really fun about the interview is that it wasn't actually about what she does today. It was about her transition from being like, you know, basically oppressed, and in like the society, like the situation that she was in with her church effectively. And the that whole community that she grew up in, and then getting out and then becoming herself. 

Lesley Logan 12:16  

Yeah, and I think like one of the things why I really wanted to have her on obviously she's super successful at what she does. She is a seven-figure earner she went from being on literal food stamps to be a seven-figure earner in a shortish period of time, through dedication, and we talked a lot about it, and we in the episode you want to go back and also we were gonna have her back on to talk about, like, manifestation and goal setting all that stuff. But what is just been what I wanted was like, I wanted people, there's a lot of people within the show who have a dream, and they're afraid of losing people. And I couldn't think of a better person to have on than someone who went from being a pastor to a stripper. Because that is the ultimate like, you're gonna lose your circle, you're gonna lose a lot of circles. And yeah, and to see where she is on the other side of it, I thought would be such a great example for people to be it until they see it in that way. And, and you don't have to be like I want to be a stripper to do that you could maybe you just want to maybe your family is like you should be a doctor and you're like I don't want to or maybe you want to date someone of another sex that like maybe your family is not probably super excited about I really want to to have an episode on the show (Brad: Or different religion or something) right all right, just like things that can scare people in your family that can keep you from being the true person that you are because you're afraid of losing people I really wanted to have a guest on where you can go she did she totally lost people knock online but she also look where she is at she truly is living the life she wants. And she didn't lose every single person in her family we do know that she does talk to you about her family so like it's a transition. So anyways, we're gonna get to things that she loves. Let's just actually accomplish what she talked about. (Brad: Yeah) So one of the things I love she said to, she said people will people won't take that final leap. So when you're on the journey of living your truth and you're taking the thing sometimes you hit an obstacle and right when it gets hard is usually when a lot of people quit but if you could just make that final leap you're actually going to you're actually going to be on the other side of it and she talked about like it's really terrifying. I really loved how honest she was about like she was scared as fuck like (Brad: Yeah) she was so scared and she talked about taking these like really little baby steps and we talk about this all the time you don't have to see the whole staircase you guys like baby steps and she really surrounded herself with people that could could help her you know take those steps without being like oh my god what am I doing, I'm making a mistake like she could be herself and then the safe places and then removed herself from circles where she was afraid that they would actually not burst the bubble but when you are new at something having anyone tell you something that's like your biggest fear is gonna, like make you like, just stop doing it.

Brad Crowell 15:04  

Yeah. And I think that I have this right on the timeline of things, but I'm pretty sure she removed herself from her circles prior to getting on Only Fans. (Lesley: She did.) So she was like, already up and out for multiple years because she, you know, was basically stuck. And she wanted to be unstuck and being unstuck meant she had, she moved, she literally left where she was at, she left a small town. She left a church that she was in, she like all the things, right? And then she started a new life. And then she was doing some life coaching. And then it was only after that even that she she decided to go down the Only Fans path.

Lesley Logan 15:44  

And I go back to her like one line like, like, pastor turned stripper. It can sound so quick. (Brad: Right.) What for whatever reason, our brain just goes up. It's like a light switch.

Brad Crowell 15:55  

Right. 

Lesley Logan 15:55  

Like it turned it on. 

Lesley Logan 15:56  

Yeah. Like she went from the pulpit right to

Lesley Logan 15:59  

Yeah, and it was not like that at all. Like it was very much a slow and gradual journey, where she just explored. And she gave herself those permissions. (Brad: Yeah.) And she, she didn't. And I think this is really important. She didn't go into where we know her now right away, she actually built up her confidence in other places. So that when she got there, and we talked about this on the podcast about when she like first posted the picture, she's like, okay, tell her friends, makes you post nice things right away, because I need to, like create the space. So I just want to, I really loved her story, because I think you can insert any before and any after. And take her advice of just like, take your time and get get people go find people who will immediately be on your side, and really protect those dreams from the people you already know were gonna judge them. You already know it. So why even? Like, why even try to find a perfect way to let them know? Because it's not, there's no perfect way for those people?

Brad Crowell 17:02  

Well, that is perfect segue here. (Lesley: Right, take over.) So, you know, one thing I love that she said, is that you have to give your yourself permission not to tell anybody.

Lesley Logan 17:13  

Yeah, I love when I do a great transition. 

Brad Crowell 17:16  

Yeah. You know, so she shared about how we may inadvertently self-sabotage our ambitions and dreams by sharing them too early with those who we actually imagined will support them. But then their fears, end up shooting them down. Righ? And so more often than not, I would imagine that those people are people that you trust, you love, you know, and they are probably not like out to undermine you or whatever. But they have a definitive concept of what life is supposed to be or your life is supposed to be or your role is supposed to be or whatever. And so they're gonna say, Well, why would you go do that you're not, you know, the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And all this stuff that, you know, effectively is what you're trying to remove yourself from that kind of situation. And so for her, she actually went out and found a coach, that she said, This person, I literally am paying them to be 100% on my side to support me, right. And that's the person that I'm going to share the things with. And I thought that was super interesting because it allowed her to just bounce ideas off of a third party, different perspectives. Someone who isn't involved in the day to day, doesn't know the history, none of that stuff. Yeah. So that she could get like an objective.

Lesley Logan 18:47  

 And, yes, a total objective. That's why therapists are great. It's one of the things I joke about when we like, when we first started doing business coaching for our like, we started going, we started going to get business coaching many years ago. And someone's like, oh, I got a client go. Oh, what is that for? And I said, it's kind of like I'm taking my business to private school. I'm paying for some friends. And yeah, for some people to really help uplift me. And it's not like they don't have because as business coaches, we absolutely have amazing advice for you. But also, you need to have people in your life who are not going to go oh my god, are you scared? Like are you sure that's a good idea? Like my god? My family, but every time I mentioned what country I'm gonna go to oh, are you nervous about that? (Brad: That must be dangerous.) That's really dangerous it's like that is the last thing I need to be thinking about right now. I'm supposed to go there to like help make sure that these people feel uplifted and like you're telling me I'm really scared about that. (Brad: Right) So it's, that's one of the reasons why

Brad Crowell 19:52  

But again, that's not like they're not like intentionally trying to stop you. But they are definitely putting (inaudible).

Lesley Logan 19:59  

It's their own fear. And so this is why, like I love that she, you know, paid someone to be alive, good to be your friend, but also like why many of us need to have either a business coach or a life coach or community that we pay to be part of? Because everyone in there is there to be supportive, and to help everyone succeed? Like that's what they're buying into.

Brad Crowell 20:20  

Yeah, yeah. And what I thought was interesting is that she said, once she moved, she still took time. Like, she said, I didn't know anybody. But I knew that I needed to get out of my community where it was a small town, everyone knew me. They knew all of everything. And she moved. And she said, she ended up taking like a year of what she called the time that she hunkered down. And she spent that time to get to know herself again, explore things, figure out what she actually want to be doing with her life. And, you know, like, find new people who would support her. And she said in that time, it was super important to be selective around the people that she was around. Because one, she wanted to avoid having her dream squashed by negativity. Two, she said it was really she said, give yourself permission to be very, very picky. Right, which is so interesting, especially when, you know, you're on the, when you're out there trying to find friends, community, support, whatever it is, you know, she was very intentional about who it was that she surrounded herself with. And then she said, your dreams are so fragile at the beginning, that if you give it to the wrong person too soon, they could squash it with their fear, they will smother it. And she said, ultimately, this was also really used in her growth into being a model online. Because she said, this was really scary, too. She just knew that this is something that she always wanted to do. But she was afraid to do it. And so when she started her Only Fans account, she didn't share with anyone for a year. It was just her. (Lesley: Taking pictures of) just her. (Lesley: Yeah.) And you know, there's no search bar on the Only Fans, you have to be sending people the link in order to find anything. Yeah. So she didn't share. She just started the account, just to do it for her. Right. And then when she finally started, like sharing this, she was intentional about who she shared it with. And then she said to them, hey, I need your support, because I'm going to start sharing a little more publicly. And I really want to shape the way that people are commenting. And so when I post this thing, would you please leave a supportive comment, because I want to drown out any of the negativity, before it even starts.

Lesley Logan 22:57  

She wants to set the tone. (Brad: Set the tone.) And this is really you guys, this is so important. When you've got things like you, sometimes you do have to tell people this is what I need from you. I think sometimes we expect people to know like, oh, I'm doing this big thing, you should just post something nice. But people, they don't know how the algorithm works on how things work. They, they don't actually know what you need, you have to tell people, here's what I need. And you know, when I first when my when my accounts, were first starting, I was gonna do a giveaway. And I literally texted my best friend. I said, hey, I know you have three Instagram accounts. Here's the link, can you please post these comments? I literally gave them the comments, like post these comments right now with all three accounts, because I wanted people to go, oh, this is how we behave here. And I have actually like, if you look at her comment feeds, most every person has a positive comment. There is the rarest of hundreds of comments. There's the rarest of like, dick comments. And she because she did this so gradually, and she made sure that she was ready for this. She has the quippiest responses back that just lay and she inspired me because I had some dick say something to me about I'm an exercise person. And they said something and I was like, I don't go into your training gym to tell people how to squat. You should not be telling people how to do Pilates. You don't know it. You clearly have never done it. But I hope you try it. That's why you're here. And they, their response. I was like, Oh no, I just meant that like blah blah. I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about when it comes to different modality. Yeah, thank you. So like, I she gave me the cuz I was like, oh my god, what a negative comment. And I was like, oh, I could actually just tell people really the honest truth back and it's still kind. Thanks, Nikole. 

Brad Crowell 24:38  

Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. You know, and then she she actually recommended a book Glennon Doyle's book. And she said that she made it really clear that her new bar was to only include people in her circle, who she loved and liked, loved and liked, and that made her feel good and then celebrated her.

Lesley Logan 25:00  

I love that it has to be both have to love and like, yeah. (Brad: Yeah.) I think that's so cool. And also anyone just now shout out if you know, Seth, maybe know Glennon and hey, hi. 

Brad Crowell 25:11  

We're doing it.

Lesley Logan 25:13  

I'm asking for what I want over here. 

Brad Crowell 25:14  

I love it. 

Brad Crowell 25:22  

All right, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Nikole Mitchell? She said, whatever's on your heart right now, yeah, that thing that you've been wanting to go do, but you've been afraid to do it, you need to go do it. You need to do it today. You need to start today. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? And even if it is just one small piece of the thing. Start it. And you can do it only for yourself. You don't need to do it for anybody else. You don't need to do it publicly. You can just do it for you. (Lesley: Yeah) Whatever that thing is.

Lesley Logan 26:05  

That's, I really just like wanna highlight. Just we already said it. And we emphasized it. But she really just did things for a year without publicizing because like she did it for her. And I think like, that speaks volumes to why she's had the success that she had because she got so clear on what it was. It goes back to the book Big Magic back on National Buy a Book. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. You're welcome. She is the author of Eat, Pray, Love. And she did not even quit her job as Professor even when that book was a national bestseller. Right? She didn't she barely quit it after she sold the movie rights. Like she really wanted to make sure that she protected her love and, and gift of writing, to not put pressure on it to be something to make money and tell like she really knew she could do it. Because when we put things out to the public too soon, before we've really gotten clear on our values and why we're doing it and the purpose for it. It's so easy for other people's opinions to mold that. In fact, my my tattoo artists she is she's still going to do tattoos, but she's also like starting to get into upholstery and like making chairs. Cool. He's like been like buying chairs and like doing a new upholstery on them. And like redesigning them is super cool. Like, we're obviously going to end up with some chairs. We'll get rid of some I'll get rid of some to get some new ones.

Brad Crowell 27:37  

Or she's gonna be upholstering some of ours. 

Lesley Logan 27:38  

That or, I was like, oh are you reposting people's and she said, I took on a client. This has been this is a month-long project. This is like she's not one month into this, maybe she's two months into this at this point. Idea. And she took on a client and she's like, I'm already mad at myself for doing it because I can't find the fabric that she wants. And I want to do this other thing. And it made me just realize that like maybe I don't want to actually do special orders unless I really liked the project because I prefer (Brad: takes her creativity, her creative mind.) So what happened is she like made it a business before she'd really gotten really (Brad: That's really interesting.) clear on it. And I think that just goes back to like, go do the thing right now. And then also like, let yourself like, like, go, go get started. And I do love that she said you know, you'll talk yourself out of it if you wait longer.

Brad Crowell 28:27  

Yeah, what about you? 

Lesley Logan 28:29  

Okay. So she, we had to there's a couple things that came out of the Be It Action Items that I really love but she realized the detrimental effects of trying to fit into other person, others' perceptions of her so when we are people pleasing hello, where are my people pleasers at, probably a big portion of this of this group. She realized that like trying to fit in was causing her to be stressed it was actually causing anxiety and depression and, and she was miserable on the inside. And while in therapy, she really discovered the root cause of her people pleasing, which is so important because there's different reasons why you might people please and we got into talking about like, cuz there was a part of her like staying in poverty, right. Like, you know, there's there's a part of that that like it we can feel guilty for like making money and things like that. (Brad: Totally.) And she said, Well, poverty is very expensive. And that was a whole like a whole segment of the episode have to listen to but it's on emotional and mental well being as well. And so she said, there's two reasons. She's disappointing someone. One, she acknowledges that the disappointment others felt was due to her performance of someone she wasn't and so this is a really interesting thing. Because if we are telling people we're someone else, and we're gonna be our true self, then of course we're gonna disappoint them because we lied to them. We (inaudible) and then the other thing was that she wanting to wanting to remain they wanted her to remain the same for their comfort. And when we try to people, please we are trying to remain what people other people want so they will like us, and that's not actually going to make you happy. So the standard, she said the standard should never be toleration in a relationship or friendship, it should always be celebration. And she said, if you if I see you evolving, I'm celebrating you. So be it action item.

Brad Crowell 30:34  

And I think she also said, even if she doesn't necessarily agree, yeah.

Lesley Logan 30:39  

Oh, that's, that's what that's next level. Next. What's next? And that is our I hope we all are. I think all of us listening to this want to be that person. And I think if you do find yourself seeing someone evolve, and you're not celebrating, I just think it's a little flashlight of like, oh, here's some work to do. Don't get mad at yourself. Like there's some work to do. But I just, I think like, just I really found that her Be It Actions are like about self-reflection. (Brad: Yeah.) Just taking a little action, and being kind to yourself and celebrating along the way.

Brad Crowell 31:11  

Yeah, I mean, amazing. What a journey.

Lesley Logan 31:14  

I know, were having her back because it was I could have just kept going. So. So anyways, I really can't wait for the next episode to come out. We're gonna hold it for the holiday New Year situation because I don't believe in New Year New You. But I do believe in the that sometimes there's certain points of the year when we're really more open to the idea of envision big visions and manifestation. So stay tuned for that. In the meantime, go check out Nikole, and let us know what your favorite takeaway is. Or tag her. Tag us. I know that I really do, I really hope that you like send this to your mom who (Brad: Do it.) Like, I think, one, it's really refreshing and enlightening for people to understand that jobs don't define people. And I think people need to see that like different jobs, the holistic part of it, we donate to the Cupcake Girls, which does sex workers' rights. And my we told my dad about it, and he's like, sex workers rights. I'm like, Yeah, dad, they need rights, too. And I we like told them some stories. And he's like, oh, okay, I'm in like, it's so interesting. We're not exposed to it. It can it can keep people from seeing beauty and possibility and things and making judgments that are based on non fact. So make sure you share this with people. Tag Nikole. Tag the Be It pod. Thank you so much for listening to our episodes, your questions and your comments, your takeaways inspire the guests that we bring on I keep thinking about different guests based on different scenarios I know people are going through who are listening to this so that we can support you wherever you are. I heard you on the menopause. I'm going to be really honest. I had someone lined up and it didn't work out. So we are working on someone else. (Brad: Stay tuned.) Until next time. Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 32:59  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 32:59  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell 32:59  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 32:59  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 32:59  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 32:59  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 32:59  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Change can be daunting, but what happens when you pivot in the most unexpected ways? Dive deep into Nikole’s journey, revealing the heart, courage, and self-discovery it takes to embrace your true calling. Discover how authenticity can lead to unimaginable paths and how to harness it in your own life. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to transform your life by listening to your inner truths.
• Why fear often holds women back.
• How to move beyond people-pleasing.
• Why it is vital to surround yourself with genuine support.
• How to confidently embrace your authenticity amidst judgment.
• How to overcome body insecurities and embrace self-love.

Episode References/Links:

• Nikole Mitchell’s Instagram
• Nikole Mitchell’s Twitter
• Nikole Mitchell’s TikTok
• Nikole Mitchell’s Website
• Nikole Mitchell’s YouTube
• Nikole Mitchell’s Facebook

Guest Bio:

She is known as the pastor-turned-stripper. She left a religious community for the adult industry and has never been happier, healthier, or wealthier. She transitioned from food stamps to 7 figures by embracing the truest version of herself, even if it meant being misunderstood. She is an expert in pleasure, power, and profit, as well as self-expression and being an online sex worker.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Episode Transcript:

Nikole M. Mitchell 0:00  

And for me, it's like I just want to hear my own truth. I want to speak my truth. I want to know my truth apart from all the truth passed down to me. I want to take up space with my full self and as scary as that was I was so hungry for it after decades of not taking up space, of shrinking, of sacrificing myself. 

Nikole M. Mitchell 0:09  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 0:21  

Alright, babes. So what I'm so excited about is today's interview is actually something I got to do in person with this guest and get your journal out, get your notebooks out, get your get ready to replay this episode two times because, honestly, I had a really hard time ending the interview. I know that Nikole did as well. I'm gonna have to have her back because there's just so much that that she and I could still talk about in an amazing way to support you. You are an amazing person. Do you know that? Have you told yourself that he was shot and what I what I love about being in the presence of Nikole, is that she is this embodiment of loving herself wholly and fully and honestly and she takes up the space that she deserves to take up, we all deserve to take up in this world is that she empowers everyone around her to do that to and to show up fully and honestly and loving. And you will hear in this episode, why having people in your lives that have that are doing what you want to be doing this world around you is such an important thing. It helps you show up the way you want to show up. It helps you to have those people who are who've done the thing and doing the thing that you want to be doing. So I I truly, truly am so grateful to have this woman in my life. I want to call her a friend and and I'm the most proud of this conversation that I could ever be on this app on this podcast. And so Nikole Mitchell is here. She is phenomenal. She is more than words can describe to be completely honest. And her journey on this earth is one where I do know you can find yourself in her story. And yeah, you will, you'll hear who she is. And you might think Leslie how on earth and I'm going to tell you listen to the whole thing. Because you are going to get so many gems out of this and you are going to see that life is not linear. And it is this journey along the way the curiosity that we all deserve to give ourselves in this life that we have. And the self-love the full self-love that we owe it to ourselves that is going to take you everywhere you want to go. She's an incredible woman. So here she is Nikole Mitchell.

Lesley Logan 4:19  

All right, Be It babes. I'm so excited. First of all, our guest today is in my house, which just makes us really fun. So, maybe this is a new way of doing an interview podcast. I would love that. And also, a friend of a friend introduced us if you remember Michael Unbroken's episode, many of you loved that episode. He said, You have to meet my friend Nikole. She's amazing. You too, are gonna love each other. He's not wrong. I'm obsessed with our guest, Nikole Mitchell. Thank you so much for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?

Nikole M. Mitchell 5:42  

Yes, Lesley, thank you so much for having me. So I'm Nikole Mitchell. I'm known as the pastor turned stripper. I'm really good at helping people monetize what they love doing. 

Lesley Logan 5:52  

Okay, so thank you. Do you not think no big deal? Like? I mean, everyone goes from pastor stripper like that's the common thing, right? You know, it's so funny. It's like when people like you have to have a three-sentence bio and like a one bio. Like, I feel like that's a hard bio to just summarize things up. And so can you take us back a little bit to like, you know, the life that led you to being like a pastor, and then kind of the journey there, because I think there's a lot of question marks that people are gonna have.

Nikole M. Mitchell 6:24  

I know, it's interesting, even that tagline sounds like an overnight thing. And it obviously encompasses an entire journey and back backstory. So I was raised in a very conservative religious environment, and very quickly picked up on the messaging that my role as a girl was to grow up and become a wife, and mom, and to be a good woman. And I drank the Kool Aid, I believe it's my core that was used to be the epitome of my life. Existence. And I did I grew up I married a man had three kids was a stay at home mom. And of course, I love my babies. But I was miserable, that I felt like, I felt duped like this, is it? This is this is it? And so when I reached that point, I started re evaluating my entire life and asking like, what is it that you actually want Nicole? Apart from the dogma, apart from the indoctrination? What is it that you want? And that question changed everything?

Lesley Logan 7:19  

Yeah, I feel like that question. Every single one of us can, like, probably ask ourselves on a daily basis. Yeah. Know, like, such a powerful question. And I also I love that you said like, it sounds like it's an overnight thing. And I think it's so important to highlight that every person who thinks something sounds like it was from I went from this to this, it's, it's never that it's not a light switch. It's very, it's I am a dimmer switch.

Nikole M. Mitchell 7:43  

Shown roller coaster, for sure. And every success story has a backstory, it's so easy when we see people who've made it to think they had it easier than we did, they had more resources, they have more connections, they had more just more than what we currently have. So then we assume they had an easier and better than what you have, and I've been in this long enough. And my story's very rocky to know that that's never true. Like, I mean, there's some of the more privilege and power but when people make massive life changes, it is a roller coaster,

Lesley Logan 8:13  

right? Because there's also like, you're trying to figure out what it is that you want. And then also there's the people around you are like, how does what you want affect my life? And so then you're balancing their emotions and their worries and their fears with your own. Yeah. So how, how did you? Did you go? Okay, what this is what I want now? And then how did that how did you have that conversation with the people around you?

Nikole M. Mitchell 8:36  

Yeah, that is really hard, because I'm a recovering people pleaser, and I don't want to offend anyone, I don't want to disappoint anyone. I'm a very, very caring person. And so to try to step into your own and live your truth with the immense pressure of trying to be who everyone else needs you to be. It's hard enough to where I think it's easy for people to never make that final leap. You try so hard for so long. And then that last jump is so terrifying to fully stand on your own two feet and knowing you're going to disappoint some people is terrifying thing for most people, and especially women who aren't we just love people and we love humans, and we don't want to hurt anyone. And when I did this journey, it was such a slow like, it was not an overnight sensation. And for me, it's like I just want to hear my own truth. I want to speak my truth. I want to know my truth apart from all the truth passed down to me. I want to take up space with my full self and as scary as that was I was so hungry for it after decades of not taking up space of shrinking of sacrificing myself. And so I gave myself to like move in baby steps very privately. I like kind of really couldn't like kind of hunker down because I couldn't withstand any pushback. I was like a little baby chick on wobbly legs, one tiny gust of wind and I'd be on my back flailing. So I like hunker down, remove myself from small circles because I couldn't explain to them what I was doing. This was very intimate transformation. And then once I got more sturdy on my legs, then I started having conversations with people about who I was becoming and what I was doing.

Lesley Logan 10:07  

So I think that that's actually like, really, I want everyone to like relisten to that, because we even had someone on who was like talking about the Enneagram. And like, when you when you, when you find out about yourself she like had like a client who's who's a perfectionist and didn't want to ever make a mistake. And so some people would say, well just speak your truth. And it's like, yes, wouldn't that be amazing if that worked for her is that for if it were to go wrong, if there'll be a little bit of wind, a little bit of push, that can actually not just knock you off your feet, but go, okay, that was actually so terrifyingly awful. I'm never gonna do that again. And then you're in that, like, you're further away from your truth. So I think it's really cool that like you hunker down I love. I love thinking about like, okay, who are like, if there's anyone in my circle who I can share this with? Like, who would that be? And if it's like, you gotta just really be kind, like, it's not always going to be your parents or your partner or something like that. Because 

Nikole M. Mitchell 11:02  

She is the last one. I found for me and my clients, family often is the last.

Lesley Logan 11:06  

Yeah, so so they were your last? 

Nikole M. Mitchell 11:09  

Yeah, you know, what I actually did is I hired a life coach, I'm like, I will literally pay someone to be my best friend. Like someone who really has my back unequivocally, they're not. They're not voting for me and my family, they're not going for me. And my partner is like, I'm solely in Nikole's corner. And I needed that because I don't think I ever really had that anyone who was in my corner was rooting for me, was rooting for me to become who they thought I should be. And so I hired someone specifically to be like, I've got your back all the way through Nikole. And that kind of support was powerful. Because when I was overwhelmed and terrified, I called him crying. When I felt on fire and unstoppable I called him celebrating I didn't, it wasn't my husband, then that I went to was definitely not my family. It wasn't even my best friends, like I knew is undergoing a massive transformation. And I had to have at least one person who had my back all the way through it.

Lesley Logan 11:58  

That is such a I would not thought about that I had like think that that's really cool. It's like instead of even being a best friend that you might have who even probably is like, Nikole, whatever you want, I'm here all the way like you're like no actually just need someone who really is like, like, I'll pay them to be that person. I think that's actually quite, quite amazing. My my husband, I we had this amazing win in our lives in May of 2020. And he called his parents to share with them and they are like we're buying a house because we had this amazing opportunity. And their response was like, we'll make sure it's not the most expensive house and make sure the school district is really great. And like, I was like, driving the car, like with the hand going wrap it up, wrap it up. That was not satisfying. Call our coach. I was like, call her house. And like, here's the thing about coaches like that. We called him up. And he was like, Guys, I have a call in two minutes, what's up? What can I do? And we're like, this is what happen to us. He's like, That's amazing. And he like scream in the car with us. And so it's true. Like when you're having these like new wins these new, even new tests for you, you need someone who's like, can, can keep their fears and worries for what that feels like for their relationship with you aside. So I think that that's really wise.

Nikole M. Mitchell 13:10  

And I think when people make the decision, like to buy a house or for me to undergo this massive life change, the people in the middle of that decision making a transformation have thought the most about it more than any other person in your life. So when people come at us, like, why we consider this and have you considered that it's like, we have thought it all the way through. And so it actually isn't helpful. I feel like it's, it's it's meant to be loving and caring. And that's how I interpret it. But it can be an insult. Like I have thought this through more than any of you combined will ever think this decision through. And that's where having support like I see you, I know you've put so much thought and intention in this and the fact that this showed up in your life, this house and it's aligned and you're so excited. I'm so happy for you guys. But we don't have that people think they they think of something that you've never thought of before, but they haven't because you're the one in this.

Lesley Logan 13:56  

It's so funny isn't truth, like you are like, I'm not gonna be passed tomorrow I'm going to be a stripper or whatever it is that you do all the time. And like, it's like, it's like they they do it's like it's funny, like, I'm gonna wear a dress today. It's not you know what I want to do today I want to go to I want to go to new park. So funny how people do think that these big life changes are are being you are being thought of in the same way that you're like, What do I want for dinner? Yeah, that's really I think that's really important for everybody like to keep in mind like it is. They are being helpful. They think they're being helpful, but you have thought it through and like if you can really remind yourself so I mean, obviously, being a pastor, like as someone who was raised in church, like, I know there's a lot of pressure on like, what that life is supposed to look like and how you're supposed to behave and how you're supposed to your family's supposed to act. And then also everyone in the church has the same rules around that was I mean that had to be really tough to consider like losing like, everybody.

Nikole M. Mitchell 14:54  

Yeah, I It was terrifying. Because around the same time it was a bunch of things were falling into place which was I knew was aligned but it was I knew was going to be a lot from people. So like I came out queer. Like I realized my queerness around the same time that I hired my life coach that I decided I wanted to get off food stamps and be rich, and I wanted to live a fully expressed life. So a lot of factors were coming together and in my church that was homophobic, that did paid me pennies. And that constantly censored me and told me what I was allowed to say and what I wasn't allowed to say. I knew I was going to lose my entire church, which that which back then was all of my friends. So as long as my community I was gonna lose my job I was in was my tiny source of income, all for the risk of what the unknown, I wasn't promised that I was going to make it or make a lot of money. Like I didn't know where I was going. I just knew I was like, the higher rose up in ranks. The longer I stayed in this path, the more suffocated I became. And I remember thinking at one point, Nicole, why are you settling for a job that pays you pennies to be who you can't even who you really aren't? And so there has to be something out there where you can be the fullness of yourself and make a crap ton of money. And that's what he's willing to go after? And willing to step in the unknown for Yeah, did you?

Lesley Logan 16:11  

Did you always think it was like, Did you always know that was going to be being a stripper? Or is it like, you tested out like different things? Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm hobby hunting everyone, like, you know, like, so was it like, Were you trying out? Like, is it going to be this job? Or this job? Or did you kind of have some sort of clue.

Nikole M. Mitchell 16:27  

I've had so many jobs in my life, like, I feel like I've lived multiple lifetimes. I used to be a news anchor. I was a high school teacher. I was a bartender, I was a pastor. And I when I left it all and like something unknown as like, what do I want, and all these desires that I've had my entire life, I'm a very sexual person. I'm a very central person. I've been that way since I was five. When I got caught touching myself, right? Like I was very in touch with my body at a young age, it all came rushing back. And I used to be so afraid of it. Because I was taught in a church, it would ruin me, it would ruin my family, it would make me destitute, no one would want me yada yada, yada. But it all came back. And I was like, what would it look like if I trusted my desires instead of fear them? So I started to tune into my desires and like, what would it look like for me to post a sexy selfie? This is literally the first decision I made before I got into adult work because like, what would a little bit for me to post a sexy selfie? And I was terrified. This was in 2018 on Facebook, I'm like, What are they gonna think I'm intentionally posing intentionally trying to like, look cute. And I talked to two mentors like this A how much I thought about posting a single photo on Facebook that I thought was sexy. If I could show you now you like that is not sexy, I was like, ever since. And so mild. But for me, who always had to shrink for everyone's comfort. This was like a big stepping stone. Once I did that, I was like, Oh my gosh, you're telling me this can become a way of life where I can post what I want. wear what I want, say what I want, do what I want. That's the life I ultimately want.

Lesley Logan 18:00  

Yeah. So we we coach a lot of fitness instructors and, and it's really funny when they go to post anything for the first time. It's not a sexy hill selfie, it's like them doing a Pilates move or some like that. There's, I feel like anytime anyone is speaking their truth, like a fully going to show up and put themselves out there in a real way. I think the pressure that we put on that first one is like, it's so big no matter who you are, and what it is, but every industry when you but then eventually you keep doing it. And so obviously now that's like, it's like part of like, you know, the daily things that you do in a day is

Nikole M. Mitchell 18:35  

the hardest, it's always gonna be the most awkward. It's never going to be as amazing as you think it is. You can train and edit and perfect as much as possible. But a year later, you're gonna look back and be like, I have so cute. Like I'm a little baby girl baby chick on wobbly legs back then, but hadn't posted that or done that thing, then you wouldn't be as confident, strong, trained, poised collected as you are today. I was even thinking about this today because for five years, I've been a life coach for five years. I've wanted to host a VIP event since the beginning. But I never had the confidence. I finally was like, eff it. I'm doing it, launched it and hosted my first VIP month last earn May was so extraordinary. And then say woke up and like I'm doing another one. And it just announced on social media. Nowhere near the fret didn't take me five years. Like, I was like, I'm so glad I did that first one because now it's out of the way it's so much easier from here on out.

Lesley Logan 19:25  

I love this because I do think it that like every single person no matter what your whatever your dream is, the first one has like all this pressure. It's very precious. It's like, it's like, like, you know, I don't know every it's like when you're 16 and going to prom. It's like the dress has to be perfect the hair everything has to be but then you're like, oh, okay, did that and actually doesn't need to be a big deal. I mean, it's kind of like parents with their first kid the oldest has like perfectionist issues because the parents made sure there's tons of photos of them. Everything is perfect. All the balloons are perfect. And then the second one comes along and they're like, here don't worry the bottle dropped. It's fine. I'll dust it off. 

Nikole M. Mitchell 20:00  

So true as a mom of three, see you would wear out. But it's such a good way. It's like less controlling less perfection, more trusting. I trust my kids so much more than I ever have. They're capable, they're smart, they can figure things out, I don't need to hover or protect, like, as nearly as much as I thought I did. It does really get easier.

Lesley Logan 20:23  

So I'm gonna go back to like, the wobbly legs to the strong legs. What? What helped you go? Okay, I'm strong enough to tell some people because I mean, you were married and had kids at the time? Like, when how strong did you have to get your legs to feel like you could actually show up and to have that conversation? And then what was the preparation for that? Because I feel like that's where a lot of people are stuck is like, I want to change this career that I have. And I now I gotta tell this person over here who I'm in a life path with? How did that kind of go? 

Nikole M. Mitchell 20:53  

You know, it's interesting. I've seen in the five years I've been coaching that when someone feels this deep urge to change something or want to go after something, they will often tell the one person that they say they expect to support them, but doesn't mean the very person is going to shoot them down. And it becomes a self sabotage. Like I tried, I even told my mom, I told my partner, they're like, that's crazy. You'll never like, have you thought about this? What if you get sued? What if that, and so then they stop. And it's like, really give yourself permission to not have to tell anyone. So I incubated for a year where like hunker down hired my life coach went deep. And during that year, I slowly told one person at a time, and I was very selective. I'm like, Who are the people? And if there's only one person who is the one person I know will believe me support me no matter what, even if they think I'm a little crazy. Because your dream is so fragile in the beginning. And if you give it to the wrong person too soon, and they they squash it with their fear, it will smother it. And like you were saying earlier, that might be it. So you have the permission to be very, very picky. So probably that first year, I maybe had four friends in my corner 100%. And then when I was like, I'm ready to have these hard conversations, both in person and even made announcements online, I would rally my small troop. And like when I post this online, please love on it, because I want to set the tone right away that I'm not available for criticism, I'm not available for pushback, and when they see all the love. I think it's gonna scare off anyone who would typically say anything negative, it was very intentional on my immergence because I was too afraid that if it was if that gust of wind was too strong, I would go running back and not do it again.

Lesley Logan 22:33  

That's actually really like amazing. But really, I I wish more people knew that that's how they could go about any of these things that they're doing like they can ask for people like I'm sure it'd be extremely hard to ask for people to be helpful in that way especially as like a recovering people pleaser like I need this help over here. But what a great way to protect yourself and I I think so often especially those of us who were raised in these paths where it's like this is how you're supposed to be this is how you're supposed to grow up it can be very difficult to go against the grain and then go and hey, by the way can you can you do this thing it's also probably against it that is that's very special I wonder what were the steps if you can remember any that could be helpful for people on their recovering people pleaser path because I feel like there are more people now than ever that are they like they'll actually proclaim I am a people pleaser as if it's a not a badge of honor but like but this makes me a good person and it's not that makes you a bad person if you are but it does make it's it's part of control and we're like how do we control how people feel about us? So what was that path that you went through to kind of help yourself out of becoming a people pleaser?

Nikole M. Mitchell 23:51  

Yeah, I reached this point. I think for all of us who are people pleasers are recovering people pleasers we can reach this point where it's like I don't know how much longer I can do this. I don't know how much longer I can keep being who everyone else seems me to me to be and I'm absolutely miserable on the inside. I had massive anxiety and depression during those years I've seen a therapist I didn't know one of the root causes was people pleasing another causes poverty, poverty is very expensive. On your your mental emotional being. Yeah, but like I was always contracting so much. I was always living in fear of what people thought I mean, did I say some that might might offend them? What are they thinking about me right now as we're laying in bed like it was all consuming. And you can only live that way so long. And so then I reached the point where like, I was talking to a mentor and like, I'd had these realizations with her of, you know, you don't deserve to be tolerated. You should be celebrated. That wasn't a standard in my relationships. My relationship was like we'll tolerate you because I'm I'm very passionate I'm emotional. I'm sensitive. I'm very social justice see, and like that's a little much for some people. So as always trying to hold back myself and like okay, we can tolerate you, but the standard should never be toleration and relationship or friendship. It should always be celebration, we celebrate your muchness and we want more, we celebrate your what you think is not enough, because you are an athlete, we want more of you. You're never ever, ever too much. Give us more, give us more. That's my standard in relationships now. And then I realized, the only reason I'm disappointing someone is two things, because I've performed as someone that I'm not really am. So that's on me. But also, it's on them for thinking that I need to stay the same person so they can feel good about themselves. So realize that when I started becoming my own person, it bothered people because like, I was no longer who they needed me to be. And when I realized that, that felt really icky. In my world, if I see you evolving, I am celebrating you, even if it's different from what I would want you to evolve into because the point is evil. The point is not to say the same if you are saying the same that as actually a little alarming to me, because like we're always learning and growing. But when my people saw that I was growing, and they were mad about that. That was a a clue or red flags like these are no longer my people. And if they exist, then certainly my people also exist. Am I willing to be brave enough and believe enough that they are out there too, and hold up for them.

Lesley Logan 26:10  

Oh my gosh, I couldn't love you more. Like that was the most beautiful thing like to I'm like, as you're saying that like oh my god, how many people like in my life are tolerating me versus celebrating me. And you know what, as you like, that is such an easy, it's an easier way to kind of go through a relationship and go oh, no wonder I feel weird in that environment because I'm being tolerated. Like, no wonder that doesn't make me feel excited when I leave.

Nikole M. Mitchell 26:38  

Like, we deserve so much more. He reminds me of them to know who Glennon Doyle is. Oh, yeah. Okay, so I love her. And we're best friends. But she just doesn't know it. Yeah. Lennon and Abby were getting married. She they were trying to come up their invitation list. And it was just like, so long. Like, we just want it smaller. This is too much like, Okay, who do we love? Because all the people on this list they loved? And who do we like? Who do we like and love? And that became their bar. And so I even love that version of the question is like, we can love a whole lot of people. But at the end of the day, who do you like being around? Who gives you life? Who makes you feel like a million bucks? who celebrates you every time you turn around? Like, those are the people I want in my most my innermost circle. 

Lesley Logan 27:22  

Oh, yeah. That's what a great, that's for anyone planning a wedding and also like a party, and also like, trying to figure out, you know, I don't know about you, like, I'm 40 now, and we moved to Las Vegas, and so obviously still have my friends. I had, I've had friends from years. And I love that I think the ones that I've actually kept because I live in like them. And they live all over the world. So I was used to that when I lived in LA not a big deal. But I had a community in LA as well. Like, I went to the same gym every day. So it's all the same people. We moved here we were like indoors for a year. So that is like okay, I'm going out and I'm meeting people. And I feel like even just having though that thought like Who do I love who I like who who who sell who's celebrating me when I show up versus who's like kind of like tolerating me What an interesting way to not waste time trying to build community and find is that how you because I mean like you had a start here to find a whole new community so I feel like yeah, I don't know if I'm picturing like Nicole with like, slightly not wobbly legs like going into a group and went hi.

Nikole M. Mitchell 28:23  

You know what I said, so I'm a person of extreme measures. And so I know like not everyone's wired this way but I hope it gives you permission to do it your way is I literally moved to a new state okay, it was too big of a transition and too scary a transition that I was I knew my people couldn't come along with it and I was so into I was very integrated my my city that I was in like everyone knew me from in one way or another and I'm like, I need a fresh start. I need a clean slate so I packed up for Minnesota. I moved to California and the reason I love that is like no one knew who I used to be they would only know me as I introduced myself and so I went from this very religious environment very good girl small town quiet nothing wrong with that but it was not my truth to I am powerful I'm a badass I'm sexy I'm sweaty I want to make a crap ton of money. I don't know if I can spare 

Lesley Logan 29:14  

You can totally talk people listen. 

Nikole M. Mitchell 29:18  

A ton of money here I am take it or leave it and that was so freeing because that way right from the start I mean it still hurts when people meet you and they're like you're a little too much I'm gonna leave that always stings but it felt easier to do that with people I just met there was a whole community people I once was in relationship with.

Lesley Logan 29:35  

Yeah, I think like I feel like it sounds like such a bold move but it also makes the most sense because it's true you you get to introduce yourself as who you are. And then it's that take it or leave it like of course it's gonna stink because you're like oh my god, I want friends. I'm new here but it's like well, I know that you're not the friend that I want you see I'm too much for you already. Just just who I am is introducing myself. So what a what a special Oh, if it is possible, and if it's not, then like you really, maybe you go, maybe you can take an hour drive to a different city like, you know, even if it can't be a different state, I think like what a special way or because of online, there are these amazing communities where you can introduce yourself and be who you are, is that 

Nikole M. Mitchell 30:15  

That's what I did. So like when I was still in Minnesota, I paid for friendships, or pay for access to friends. So I had a life coach, and then ended up joining a mastermind. So my community, my friendships were all online, because I was, I was poor, and I try to find rich people. I was a baby queer, I'm trying to find queer people, right. And I'm like baby legs trying to find my voice. And I want to find people who are already speaking their truth. And so right, I could easily find that online, because we're all finding each other from different states and countries. And those are my people for about the last I was in Minnesota for about two years, okay, with the online community. And then what I also did, because I was a baby queer, I started hanging on queer spaces, and thankfully, just takes one person, I had one friend, who was also queer, and she's like, I'm going to be your queer tour guide. And she started taking me to like queer clubs and queer bars and queer spaces. And so like, once a week, I would go out and like this is my haven, where Nicole can just be unleashed and uncensored and fully her and I would feel so amazing. It was like an energetic infusion to last me the next week. So yeah, finding a new place like giving yourself permission to get out of your routine, get out of your regular spots, take five minutes to Google clear club, take five minutes to Google, where do rich women hang out? Like what find your people, because it'll be enough to propel you to keep you going in the direction you want to go.

Lesley Logan 31:35  

Yes. And I think like, it's also it's often one person, and we then tend to think we need people and it's here. We've had her on the show, as one show all the time. And I'd bring friends there. And so I got to know the owners and I, I love shopping at small businesses, because I just really love supporting small business owners. And thank goodness for that. Because I got invited to a birthday party. I was like, we're going I'm like, we, I was like Brad, divide and conquer. Let's take on the round, we got to find, we gotta find a brand or I gotta find a friend. And so there's a ton of people who are lovely. But there's one person there who she's like, oh, no facial salon is like, and she knows everybody. And she's gonna know everybody. And I get her because we're both in like service industry. So like, I was like, Okay, I'm gonna make her my friend. And thank goodness, because, you know, most of the friends we have today in this town are because she introduced us. So she was like, our little Las Vegas like friend tour guide. And so you don't need a plethora of people to accept you need one person to who sees you who you are. And like, is that tour guide into that world that you want to go in? So that's, that's very special. And so, yeah, so you move? How so? You had I agree on masterminds? I think people think it's like weird to say pay for friends. Every if you were in a sorority you paid for. If your parents put you into private school, you pay for friends, like summer camps. Yeah. So and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't have to be this like natural thing. And it's also okay, if you met your person online, like, we have to stop thinking that it's like, you know, there's one way to one special way to do anything. So how did you start to make a living for yourself? Because obviously, money is involved in everything. So like, you left being a pastor that that was paying you pennies, and you were on food stamps, what what did you have to do, like kind of get this way to be more independent and worked to the wealth that you deserved?

Nikole M. Mitchell 33:33  

So I My life changed so much. With my first life coach, I had hired him for six months, there was no evidence externally, all the evidence internally, I felt so confident I felt so clear, I felt so unstoppable. I felt so powerful. And this is a woman who felt very small, very breakable, very emotional, very stoppable. And sort of feels a different way I could feel my entire world shifting and like, and then I had this moment where I did the Small Business workshop, which I didn't have a business at this point, but I felt drawn to go there. And everyone's coming to me for advice. The whole like, how much should I charge for this? And how do you find clients? And how, what was your comment on branding on my coaching only small business owners and it clicked. Oh, my gosh, I'm a life coach. I've been doing this for years, every year for years, people have been flying to my house, spend a week with me, which we call VIP experiences in the life coaching world, which people pay tens of thousands of dollars to go to and hear like for free, come to my house. Stay with me and I'll take care of you and I'll support you. So this light bulb went off. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I've been doing this for years. I just never had the business framework or understanding to name it that so I started my life coaching business, and very quickly grew like and it was, I really believe is the result of the inner work like this shouldn't have been possible being on food stamps. Being a very, all our friends were very poor. We were in very religious circles who are not interested in personal development. But I felt so powerful and so I think magnetic because of it. I grew my business really quickly. And then it was in that journey that I'm like, I've always wanted to be a model, I've always wanted to do some kind of sexy work growing up. And I felt more confident. I was like, Well, what if I, like started like posting sexy photos. And then I learned about only fans like Mike. And I didn't when I did that it wasn't even for the money. And it wasn't even for other people. It was for me, it was one sacred space where Nicole could post whatever she wanted, wear whatever she wants, say whatever she wanted to just to practice. And then if maybe people subscribe, sure, but the point was practice here. So I can go out in the world and do it full-time. And so between those two, they both started to make me more money. And it was life-changing, because we were so poor.

Lesley Logan 35:43  

Okay, thank you for sharing that. I love that you're like, I'm just going to do this for me. I would think totally. I also think that like, a lot of the ideas that people have, they start to filter it out, like, how would people pay for this? Instead of like, how do I want to show up with this idea? And, and so, you know, because it's like, Yes, everyone has bills to pay. And, sure, but like, also, you you show up differently in the production of the work, if you're doing it for yourself versus like, okay, how do I do this? So it's monetized, people will pay for it. So okay, so that I also applies to all business. All business. Yeah. Okay. So, um, thank you for sharing that journey. Because it really is, it sounds like pastor to stripper and like, we've like you, the filling of the gaps was this amazing journey, and also clear discovering who you are. And then that life coaching thing, I love that it sounds like you kept doing the work. Like you're you, you're like, I'm a life coach. But I'm also doing this work for myself. And I'm becoming very clear of like, something else that I want to do, and continuing to grow, which is just like, going back to the conversation we had earlier. But we're always changing. We're always growing. So when did you get on Only Fans? And like, how long has that journey been? Because that's how I that's how I know you have the life coach part. And all the things that you do now with that is, is something you're still doing. But like what, what was how long has that journey been? Because not overnight, either?

Nikole M. Mitchell 37:09  

No. So I started my life coaching business in 2018. I started my Only Fans in 2019. So it was about a year and a half after I sold my business, I started Only Fans. And you're totally right. Like this is really good for any new business owner. You have to curate it for yourself. Right? So even for women, so I I work with clients and people who haven't only fans training, and I teach them like you're building an oasis, or you're building a museum that you love to walk through. So it's so much easier to show up and do what you love when you're not worried about how you're gonna get people paid. So the first year my Only Fans was just for me. So every time I open I'm like, Ah, oh my gosh. Those are so pretty. And like I love them so much. I have gotten so confident this point that I wish I could post those on Instagram. Like that's genuinely my desire. My work on Only Fans is so beautiful that I would post it for free that because I love it so much. But because Only Fans censors. Thank you Instagram, you've made me so much money. It's forced me to have a different platform where I I've been charged for it. But really, I would have done it for free because I love it so much. So the first year was just for me and then I end up going viral in 2020 as the pastor turned stripper as people learned my story, and then it blew up and then you know my only fans is blown up my life coaching business has blown up. But it all started with like a girl and the vision and a dream and just enough strength and faith to try it.

Lesley Logan 38:28  

Yeah, I I I would have for you. What if we met in person for the first time last night but we've talked before? But you genuinely do love your pictures? And I think it's amazing. Like it's amazing. Because I think it's amazing because so many people are like I don't like when when I work with a lot of women who are taking pictures for their Pilates business. And they're like, I don't know how to like the way that looks over my shoulder. It's like this. It's like, actually, like, what if we look at these pictures of like, oh my god, look how cute i Look there. Look how cute I look. They're like like, why? And like, I feel like even that part of you is something I wish I could like, pass on to every woman listening because like you look at your pictures and you're so excited about how you're looking at things. And I think that so many women were taught like, oh, well, actually don't brag about how you look. Don't be too proud about things like

Nikole M. Mitchell 39:22  

We were at dinner last night with Michael Unbroken and he saw my home screen and lock screen photo is a photo of my my ass like my body like of course you would like but it's so cute. Look at it. So totally I wish everyone would have permission feel that way. And I also know it takes 100 photos to find one good one now so this is where only fans has really been healing for me. It's a It's give me permission to take a shit ton of photos of myself or before it was like oh wait, that's an ease. I don't like it. That's enough. I'm fine because I won't be too much like no can you take another one and take another and take another one? So I take 100 photos to get the one or maybe two good ones. So I think we have to be really honest about that every photo I take does not pop. I'm very clear my Oh, hey, all those love that one I'm posting that one everywhere. And then second, I had a lot of body shame growing up in the environment that I did. And I didn't believe men that I dated and even on Only Fans that they would want to see my body and thinking beautiful, I was waiting for them to find all the wrong things with it just like I find all the wrong things that are wrong with it. And so as I started open up myself more and more, and they were raving about all personal body like I had a compliment today of a very insecure thing about her my body and a fan specifically complimented me on that with and I never told him my big insecurity with it. And I was like, I got teary-eyed like you don't even know how much that means to me. Like I actually have insecurities around them is like what I love it like, that has healed me to where I be very like I think part of it so contracted and literally covering my body and photos and even in modeling photos to where now like I do the full spread. It's because my fans help me realize my body is good. And I I want that for every woman. I want every woman to love her body. I want her to find affirmation one way or another whether it's from a dating partner or a coach, or Only Fans, like our healing comes in different ways. But for you to find those parts of your body that you tend to be the most insecure about someone else finds so beautiful.

Lesley Logan 41:16  

Oh 100% And I thanks for sharing about how many photos it takes or can take. Yeah, it's been legit. Yeah, it's so important. You guys, it's like, the photos will come through and I'm like, okay, we're gonna delete all. And it's also what's really funny is like my for some photos that I've kept, it's because my photographer or my husband like, Oh, my god, I love this one. And I'm like, of course, I saw the insecure part of me there. And they're loving it so much that I've gotten so much better about actually like accepting more photos of me that I probably wouldn't. And it does take time. So give yourself that permission. Okay, I do want to ask, like, what, what are some what's like something that women can do to kind of love their body more, because I do feel like you've gone through such a journey. What is something that they could do on a daily basis to kind of like fall in love with their own body because they need you. Like, I know that I know, the dress had to be below the knee. You know how many times I got in trouble for my dress like being above my knee because I was poor. My parents couldn't afford to buy clothes for growing kid every day. And so I got in trouble at school all the time. And like, there was fines or I was just like even more triggering because we were poor and couldn't afford it. So I was in trouble for that. So like, it took me so long to wear short shorts with like my cellulite app. I was like a journey of a lifetime. So yeah, so what what something that maybe we could all take away. So like how to love our bodies more,

Nikole M. Mitchell 42:40  

I have two thoughts. One is find someone who does love their body and all their fullness, because I think we just need to see evidence that it's possible. Because I think sometimes we think it's not possible, we I think we think we will live with self criticism for the rest of our life. And that's normal. But there also can be a different normal. And there can be normal where like you love your body and you love your cellulite and you love your roles and like find evidence from someone somewhere. And then secondly, my recommendation as scary as this might sound is I want you to take hundreds of photos of yourself because a you deserve to be captured be you're going to see yourself in a different light. And then thirdly, you're going to find different angles. So now that I've been doing this for four years now, I'm really good at finding my best angles that make me feel like a million bucks. Like I know how, like if I want to feel amazing, I'm going to pose this way. So just give yourself permission to explore and sometimes what I will do, because it's awkward, like take photo run back and like pose and take it like just leave it on video. And practice moving your body. I would recommend plain sensual music or some that makes you feel amazing. And just practice like touching and like being in the flow. And maybe if you feel really sexy and opposed just hold it for a second. This is how it looks on my own photos. I'm like I'll do videos and then I go through and I screenshot all my favorite poses. And I find some of my favorite poses tend to be very organic. I could never like you know, very stiff if you try to make it but when there's music and you're just feeling and then you pause that might be one of your best photos. 

Lesley Logan 44:06  

I love that. I do. Thank you for that. Yeah, that's so if we could just help more women don't even understand it because I just it's so it does take time. You're right you've take hundreds and thousands of photos like my first photo shoots I'm like, okay, is this right like and so and then like you go it's like okay, it's another photo shoot, it's fine. You know, like I used to get ready for a photo shoot or have a photo shoot in a month so we got to change what we're eating what we're drinking all the things and now it's like oh, there's a photo shoot tomorrow. Okay.

Nikole M. Mitchell 44:40  

That reminds me as a photo shoot with two other models and I back then I would not eat at all in the mornings I want like tight everywhere and I started shooting my shoots first thing in the morning because I want to I don't want to I'm hungry. But this shoot was a little bit late in the day. I'm like okay, I can I can not eat for that long. And then at the photoshoot one of the models orders pizza. And I'm like, This is amazing. And she just like starts eating pizza and drinking soda like, and we're gonna get bloated but I'm like, there was such freedom and her freedom from that moment forward. I'm like, I'm just eating when I wake up and taking photos and like, and like you said, it's been a journey. And when I first started over edit every little blemish every little thing, and now I find, you know, which you'll find if you're in the only fans world or in the adult world majority of humans want to see authentic, yes, because everything is over edited. So I now like twice this week, I posted 20 photos, each zero edits. One of them I just woke up in the morning, I'm like, here's my bedhead. Here's my smeared makeup from last night. I'm like, my stomach is bloated because I'm on vacation and like they're like a real deal. But if you go to my Instagram, it's a little more curated, it's more whatever it's like, edited in professional. But if you go to my Only Fans, you're gonna see the real deal. And I think that's actually even really healing like learning to love yourself when you're glammed up and perfectly edited, and loving yourself first thing in the morning when you're hot mess like all of us.

Lesley Logan 46:01  

Yes, I mean, we all learn how to do because what I can't think of a better better way in the world to like, like, Be It Till You See It as like, just really loving yourself and all in all the stages of the day. And you know, I want to ask, because you are a mom of three, what how do you find balance of like, building all these, these businesses that really make you shine light up, pour into others online to others, and also, like, be a mom of three kids who are growing? I mean, like, you have to be present for them as well. So is there do you have like time blocks in your day? Do you have helped? Like, how? How do you navigate that?

Nikole M. Mitchell 46:39  

So the beautiful thing about success and wealth, which I'm like, so committed to reclaiming for women, because we have a lot of fear and stigma around it, is it gives you so much freedom. So I left coaching and I've Only Fans who would technically say their full time jobs because they make me a lot of money. But I work very few hours, like you eventually get to a point your business like when you first start, it's clunky, it's awkward, it takes all your time and energy to figure things out. But you eventually get systems and processes in place. And then you eventually on automation. Don't even worry about that from the beginning, it'll come it just it will come. So things kind of run pretty well on their own, allowing me to be very, very present for my children. And then secondly, I also have an assistant who works for me full time, or almost full time. And that's another gift of money. When you have money, you can hire support. So she does my cooking my cleaning my errands, which makes me even more present for my children. So while she's doing laundry upstairs, I'm playing with my children in the living room. And I had to learn that that was okay. Because that was alarming to me that someone else is working this this people pleasing sigh like I don't want to disappoint. I don't wanna be too much here. She's working in my house. But the reason I have are working is so that I can be a present mom. And so I think women giving ourselves permission to become as rich as you actually want to be. It's incredibly supportive for the kind of lifestyle you want to have. And then allowing that duality of someone else gets to work while I rest in play.

Lesley Logan 48:01  

Yeah, I thank you and I, I and I also, I've showed this before on the podcast, we've heard it like, we have a housekeeper Her name is Rosie fucking love this woman to love her. And when they were talking, and I was like, hey, Rosie, like, how's everything going? Like, you know? Are we too much for you? Like, is this is everything working out with? Okay, she's like, let's say she's like, my sister said I should go work in the restaurants with her. And I said, No, I will have my house cleaning business because I can work when I want to work. And I can be there to pick my kids up and I can take my kids and I get to take days off when my kids are off. And so the thing is, is that like, I get to pay her to clean my house so that I can be present in our business so that I can do things to make sure that I can fill my cup up. And in paying her she actually gets to be there for her kids and have the life she wants to have. And I think sometimes especially as women we're like, oh my god, like I like It's like weird to have this housekeeper like I have I had some friends who like wouldn't even let their neighbors know they had a housekeeper like they would like hide this like pull into the driveway. I'm like, oh my god, like we have we have a guy picks up the dog poop every Tuesday and then Rosie comes in we have a landscaper and like all those people have families they can take care of. Yeah. And so it's really important to know that like when you make money you can actually empower other people to have the job that they want to have that allows them to take care of the dreams that they have and I think that is we can't state that enough because it's you don't have to do it all

Nikole M. Mitchell 49:25  

You can if you really want to create next-level success and wealth you actually can't do it all I think that's a really important distinction is I do believe you can have it all but you cannot do it all and so let yourself having all requires delegation and I love like and being shame free about it like my neighbors are so confused who my who my assistant is is like Is this your girlfriend? Is this your wife? Is this your sister like they have that every time someone comes and does work in my house? Like Wait, who am I chick? This is my boss Nikole. I work for her like Oh, I thought you were this I thought you were so this is I find it so fun to keep people guessing. But yeah, my sister is like I love that. Your house is so calm. I'm peaceful and she's like, and I you saw her get flowers all the time or take a little break right now, but she's like I do flowers Everyone say, and then I guess like run errands and it's beautiful sunny weather and then she loves my kids and my kids love her. And she always wanted more kids but didn't wasn't able to have more kids. She's like your kids have become my kids. And like, I seen her so happy and like, this is the beauty of wealth. It does it empowers and gives back and creates this ripple effect of freedom.

Lesley Logan 50:23  

Yeah, cool. I literally could keep talking to you forever. I know. Like, I want you to visit every week. So I don't even want to end this but I do want to respect everyone's time. So we're gonna take a brief break and then I'm gonna, we're gonna come back and I'm gonna ask you something about I mean, you've given us so much but bold, executable, intrinsic targeted steps people can take to beat till they see it. So one quick break and then we'll find out that Okay, first, where can people find to follow you? Like, like you can be their inspiration of people who love themselves.

Nikole M. Mitchell 51:02  

I love it. I'm active on almost all the socials Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, I'm just starting Tik Tok anytime people. Like you can find all my links on my website, nikolemitchell.com. Nikole is spelled N-I-K-O-L-E. But come say hi. Yes, me. Yeah, yeah.

Lesley Logan 51:16  

Okay. And it makes sure you guys tell her all of your favorite takeaways, of course, what was your most favorite thing, but alright, so I believe like, sometimes it can be fun to be inspired. And like, it can be like, you can give that dose like, Okay, this is a great conversation he's had. But I also know that our listeners love something tanned, like a takeaway that they can take action on right now. So an action step or two that they can do this week. Absolutely. 

Nikole M. Mitchell 51:42  

I love that. So one is whatever is on your heart right now you know what it is that nudge that thing, you need to do that thing you need to say the thing you need to start doing you need to stop whatever that thing is on your heart do it, I'm gonna say today, there's nothing like the more like that fires in your belly, you have to take action on today. Because the longer you sit with it, the faster you'll talk yourself out of it. So you have to do it today. Do the thing. And then the second thing is get really honest about what you want, own it and speak into existence. So I'll give an example. I money is very motivating to me, I was very poor. So I know what it's like to live without it. I never want to go back to that life. So I'm very driven by money. And I own that. And something I'm really good at I'm really good at connections and referrals. But I really like being paid for referrals because I'm really good at it. And I love money. If you pay me for any business, I send you your way, I will send you so much business. So at first I was afraid to own that. Like I don't even think I'm greedy. I'm like asking for money. But it's like, I know I will make you so much business with my recommendations or referral. So if they sign up to work with you, I want a small kickback. So I remember I talked to this one guy for his business, he was wanting me to refer him out after working with my business. And I said, Hey, here's thing, I would love to recommend you I think you're amazing. But I only do it if cash is involved. So if you're cool with cash bonuses, I will recommend you everywhere because I love what you do. If you're not cold cash bonuses. Totally cool. I just want to do it. And so that's just my thing I'm just driven by, and then he must have like, he's like, Oh my gosh, I'm the exact same way. And I appreciate you saying that, because that's my preference. I just don't ever say that. So by me owning it, he owned it. And now I make money off those business referrals. So again, just getting really clear on what it is that you want. You have to own it. And then you kindly but forthrightly let people know. And that's how you get what you want.

Lesley Logan 53:26  

Ah, yes, yes. And you. So another, I want to give another example, this, we have some we're bringing into our bit, we bring in different webinar guests every month to our coaching group. And we're like, look, you can do lead magnets, they know what it is. So you can do that. And you can sell them in a lead magnet. Like that's how that's gonna be. But We kindly ask that, like, if you have an affiliate link, we'd like to do that. You know, and when you it is absolutely even better relationships, even when they're best friends, because everyone is winning. No one is feeling used, you know, like it because energy. So I always say like energy is money. So, for example, even like, so, when I teach Pilates, my client cannot teach me Pilates. So they're not able to give me the energy I just gave back to them. So the only way they can give me my energy back is if they pay me for it. And the only reason you would feel resentful or exhausted the end of a day of work that you love doing is if you're under charging, because they're they're not paying back the full energy load and you're upset or you're not even tent like maybe I don't think it's them. You're like I'm just exhausted in the date. Well, it's because you didn't get your energy paid back. But if you actually charge your worth, they paid it. You're like, this is fucking amazing. Everybody wins.

Nikole M. Mitchell 54:37  

Everybody wins. And I just want to say that too. I mean, we're going keep going. The same thing is like I've had people say to me, like I'm so free to charge money for doing what I love because I'll hate it. This is like common. Where did that come from? No, I feel like it comes from the patriarchy. Yes. Especially any marginalized group that what they love will ruin them and make them miserable, so we'll never do it again. ever make a shit ton of money because I hold this core belief that whatever brings you the most, most joy will make you the most profit. So I have a, I have a course called monetize your shit. Like you've got to learn how to monetize your shit and especially if it's something you're passionate about, you have to do it because it's a win for everyone. It's actually a huge loss for you. If you're not monetizing it, like you said, you're gonna be drained, you're gonna be bitter, you're gonna peter out, you're gonna quit the thing that brings the most joy, because you just simply haven't given yourself permission or know how to monetize it. But you just have to start clunkily start awkwardly start imperfectly, and you'll just get better, but you should absolutely be compensated for the work that you love. And that you do.

Lesley Logan 55:33  

Yes. Oh my gosh. Everyone rewind, play that again. On half speed if you need to hear it, write it down. You can go to the blog post we have it transcribed you can play it because it's your the patriarch who wins every time we undercharge or don't charge or play small. They win every time and that's what they want. Because then we're all just like, Okay, well like give me like the little bit of like, just give me a little bit and that's good enough. No, like take up space. I love that. Oh my gosh, I I can't wait for Brad to hear this because I can't wait for us to recap it but we'll have to have another conversation with you. I mean, first of many I'm obsessed. I love you so much. Y'all how are you going to use these tips in your life? Please tag Nikole Mitchell, tag us in the pod share this with a friend. We want to hear it and also, you know, take like take any one of her tips and do something today to that day. Today. We're holding you accountable. Before your head hits the pillow. You have to take action today. And as you know from how this show starts like action is the antidote to fear. Have an amazing day everyone until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 56:37  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell 56:50  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 56:51  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 56:54  

Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 56:54  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 56:54  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

In this episode of Fuck Yeah Friday, Lesley shares personal anecdotes and client stories, highlighting the significance of asking for what you want and cherishing every win. Whether it's a Pilates session or a night out in Vegas, there's always a win waiting to be acknowledged. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How Stephanie's story underscores the value of prioritizing personal growth.
• Why flexibility in scheduling can lead to unexpected client commitment.
• The importance of asking for what you want.
• Why documenting positive moments is crucial during challenging times.

Episode References/Links:

• eLevate Mentorship Program
• Mentions, Stephanie, an eLevate member 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code LESLEY15

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

https://

Join us at our West Coast Summer Pop Up Tour - Aug. 8-20, 2023

Join us at Agency Mini - Sept. 10-16, 2023

Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Amy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs"

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. 

Lesley Logan 0:05  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:54  

Hey, babe, welcome to another Fuck Yeah Friday. I'm so excited to share a win with you and share your wins and hopefully inspire you to share your wins with yourself and other people so that this is gonna be a winning fucking world. So as always, we start with what are your wins. This is from Stephanie Eater. She's an eLevate round two, they are basically wrapping up. And she said I teach a husband and wife separately. I'm jamming in most of my clients this week, Monday to Wednesday, because I'm off Thursday to Monday, the husband of this couple usually is 6 am on Thursday and is coming noon on Wednesday. Instead, his wife came in last Friday told me that her workaholic husband, so he's not going to go into work on Wednesday, because he has to get a lesson with me before I leave on vacation. How cool is that? That's amazing. You're giving this guy a day off. And he's getting his Pilates in to work with you. She also said one of my clients went on vacation for 10 days, I wanted to keep her regular session time. So we assumed it was great. And it gave her a new appreciation for a mat. And she went to a small group class today. And we did reverse monkey. She didn't, she did it. But it wasn't great. But the best part was she followed through with push through and my push-through was so much more connected, it felt great. So I love this because she's got wins of her client and a win of herself. And it's not about her reverse monkey being perfect. By the way, good fucking luck on reverse monkey y'all it's never any perfect. It's one of those exercises that is gonna be like, ooh, I'm missing that connection there. But then she followed up with something else that made her feel really connected. And that's what's so important. Like, we don't have to end on a low note, which is why in all of our communities, if you want to rant you can but you have to share a win because it's called balance. So I love that Stephanie. Alright, so I have a fun win. The other night, we had some friends in town. And we love this couple so much. And we wanted to take them to a chandelier bar. There's something she's so, she's so fun. She loves to take pictures, and she loves places that are like really exciting. And so I just had, I just knew we had to take her to the chandelier bar, and we go, you can't make a reservation of the chandelier bar, you have to just go okay, so you hope for this. It's a Saturday night in Vegas in prime Vegas season. And we're going to one of the top bars in town. And so we go you either enter on the third floor or you enter on I guess you're on the second floor and then or you enter on the first floor. But I wanted the level one and a half floor. I wanted to be in the middle because you're in the middle of the chandelier. Okay, so we go into the second floor, little hostess desk. And we're like, oh, a table for four. And she's like, oh, yeah, no problem. And she started to take us to a table that's on the second floor. It's not on level one and a half. And I, if you know me, I don't you know, I don't actually always ask for things. I'm okay. I'm just so grateful that you could get us in on a Saturday night. But instead instead I said it's possible if we could sit on level one and a half. And she said let me ask. And I did not stop her. I said okay, thanks. And you guys, she got us in to love one and a half. We had the chandelier behind us. It was so amazing. (Yeah all around us. It's really fun.) I was so proud of myself. Wasn't I Brad? (Yeah) I was so proud.

Brad Crowell 4:01  

Oh, by the way, Brad's here.

Lesley Logan 4:03  

So my win is that I, I took an opportunity to ask for what I wanted even though like even though I could have just been grateful for what they were giving me and look if they had said no I still it still would have been a great experience. We still loved it. But I'm just really like proud of myself for just going let me just ask for what I want and see what happens because the worst thing I could say is no and I'd be on level two you know or it's still the chandelier we're at the top we're just in the middle you know so would have been amazing and I I share this as a win because I think people we tend to think that wins have to be really huge like they have to be like you know I hit this goal or I hit this goal. No, I just did something that is out of character for me that I want to be in character for you so hello, be it till you see it. Anyways that's my fucking win. What's your fucking win? It's Fuck Yeah Friday, share this with a friend and or at least write down what your win is. You have these moments, you know, the other day when my friend was going through something life was totally life aid but once you got bad news about a family member's health, another family member had a health scare. She's just really struggling with her workload. And she's like, there was some great things that happened but we can't even focus, celebrate those right now because of all this stuff. And I said to her, at least write down the good stuff that happens so that when you're on the other side of this, you can look back and celebrate that because that was a special win that you may not be able to enjoy right now, but you're gonna want to enjoy it on the other side of this. So she thanked me for that reminder because it's true. We need to do these things. So even if life is totally sucking jet right now, write down your wins for when it's not so you can celebrate them. I'm Lesley Logan thank you so much. And until next time, be it till you see it. 

Lesley Logan 5:44  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Lesley Logan 6:15  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 6:20  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Lesley Logan 6:24  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 6:31  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Lesley Logan 6:37  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley and Brad reflect on their conversation with Rory Vaden, delving into the idea that while money is a valuable tool, it's secondary compared to one's mission and the service of others. Explore the balance between ambition, service, and the pursuit of wealth, and learn how to harness money's power while staying true to your core values and purpose.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How serving others fuels you to overcome obstacles along the way.
• Why money should be secondary to your mission and service.
• Why a massive social media following is not a prerequisite to success.
• How to serve people in a deep way.
• The value of being clear about what you want to achieve. 

Episode References/Links:

• Agency coaching team waitlist
• Cambodia Pilates Retreat
• Chat with us!
• Profitable Pilates ebook
• Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg, PhD
• Larry Winget
• Daniel Pink

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code LESLEY15

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

Join us at our West Coast Summer Pop Up Tour - Aug. 8-20, 2023

Join us at Agency Mini - Sept. 10-16, 2023

Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Amy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs"

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:04  

I'm feeling that shift that my ambition, it's become a lot more of a I need to focus back on why I'm doing what I'm doing. And I think that's where figuring out where you can serve people. When you're operating out of a place of service. You it's got built in rewards, because you help others succeed at the thing, whatever the thing is that you're helping them with.

Lesley Logan 0:54  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life Brad and I are going to dig into the valuable convo I have with Rory Vaden. In our last episode, if you haven't yet listened to that one, go back and listen to it now. And then come back and join us or don't listen to this one because you're already here. And then go listen to that one.

Brad Crowell 2:17  

But you should 100% listen to that one 

Lesley Logan 2:20  

because he's also like a famous world-renowned speaker. So like keynote speaker like he's the fucking best 

Brad Crowell 2:27  

speaker and author, Best Selling Author all things and He is very concise. He's one of those guys. he's like Alex Street

So Alex is a speaker from stage as well. And Alex doesn't say he just doesn't do it. I don't know how he does it. Rory is like that, too. He's concise. He has nuggets that like like everything he says is like, like a pearl. It was just a great conversation.

Lesley Logan 3:35  

I want to get better at no uhms and no likes. Because I do say that. I do my captions on Instagram. And I can see them. And I can see how many there are. And I'm like, and I'm like.

You're like what? What, like, fuck, ah, no, that's okay. Because that's actually using it correctly.

That's true. That's true. Anyway,

Brad Crowell 3:54  

Moving on moving on. Okay. It's an amazing interview, you should go listen to it. But this is the recap. So.

Lesley Logan 3:59  

So today is August 31. If you're listening to in real time it is Eat Outside Day, which means go eat your meal outside, go get some fresh air, get some vitamin D if you're where it's cold. You know, wear a parka. But like go outside and see this beautiful world we live in while we have it.

Brad Crowell 4:17  

The only choice you have is sit in the sun or wear a parka.

Lesley Logan 4:22  

It's kind of where it's going. Anyways, so I am currently if you're listening in real time, I'm in Poland right now. Yeah, so I'm back and Paul, it's my second time here. So excited about this. Cornelia is New Street owner out there is doing a ControlLogix Conference invited me like to see people which is really amazing. And then when we come back but when we and I come back from Poland that was my dog, like doing a little

Brad Crowell 4:48  

Augustus groaning in the background. He's like, he's messing you this girl.

Lesley Logan 4:53  

Anyways, I come back is Agency Mini week which means it's our seven-day coaching program for fitness instructors plan instructors, and you want to sign up now, if you're listening to this before September 10, because that's you gotta sign up before we start, once we start the train has left, you cannot chase it down, it doesn't stop for anybody. No. So you'll want to go to profitablepilates.com/mini profitablepilates.com/mini to join, our next one won't be for like six months. So you'll want to get yourself in there.

Brad Crowell 5:24  

Don't wait for six more months to move your forward. Let's start making the money you want to make. 

Lesley Logan 5:28  

You know what? We have an episode coming out in months from now. And I can't wait for it to come out. But if you're like, oh, I'm not ready yet. I gotta get this online. my guest, Nikole Mitchell said ready is a decision. It's not a state of being. It's you've made the decision. Like you're not like,

Brad Crowell 5:28  

If you haven't arrived at ready, you make the decision right now. Are you ready? Yeah.

Lesley Logan 5:48  

So make that decision and join us. Then after a few weeks of being at home, and getting in the group, we go to Cambodia for two weeks, because we have our retreat, and we have someone else hosting a retreat at our space. Yeah, I'm just so excited. Because you can't do that you can host your own retreat in our space in Cambodia. So we'll be there for a couple weeks, just making sure the her retreat goes off without a hitch, our retreat is going to slay I'm also for those of you who are like inquiring minds want to know about these fucking flashcards of decks five and six. Thank you, I'm so glad you're as excited as I am. That is the window. There's a week in there where I'm actually just gonna sit at my favorite coffee shop and bang out, get them the format laid out really understand how many cards are in each deck and how we can get these done in the next year for you. So thank you. And then in November, I'll be in Chicago with Erika Quest. Yeah. And in December back on tour.

Brad Crowell 6:38  

Back on the road in the US, we'll be doing the Midwest and the South, maybe a little bit on the east coast as well. So if you listen to last week's recap, where we were asked how do I get my studio on the list of potential places where you could stop? Just chat to us go to opc.me/chat and let us know if you're interested in hosting. And we'll get you all the specifics of what there could be.

Lesley Logan 7:03  

You don't have to know what our route is to throw your name in the ring. Just put your name and your city in your studio. And

Brad Crowell 7:08  

if you're in North America,

Lesley Logan 7:10  

Yeah. And and then we can, we will figure that out for you. Because we'll we'll take a look at all the studios. We'll work with our sponsors. And we'll see what makes the most sense. And then the ones we don't pick, we will put on the list to look out for the next year

Brad Crowell 7:26  

For future. Yeah, love that. Okay, so this week, we had a question. And the it was really interesting. Someone said, I only flashcards and you say you don't like the 100 or tabletop?

Lesley Logan 7:42  

Well, I don't I do like the 100. Okay, I don't like the 100 in tabletop. 

Brad Crowell 7:47  

Oh, I misunderstood that. I don't like the 100 in tabletop. Yeah, I'm wondering if you can explain why. 

Lesley Logan 7:54  

Yeah, I love this question for so thank you for getting all the flashcards and then also watching the videos that we put with those flashcards because yes, I refilm every tutorial for every deck. So. So yes, look at how many cards are in a flashcard deck and go wow, she did that. Yes, we did. So the reason I don't love 100 and tabletop, first of all, tabletop works for certain things. And I you can if you want to send me your arguments you can and I won't argue with you, I'll just go thanks. Because it's you can have a valid opinion that's different than mine. And it's fine. But here's why I don't like it. Because my goal for the 100 is to get you to lift your legs from the floor to maybe a high diagonal or to eye level. So tabletop for everyone at home who's like, what is she talking about? First of all, we'll have a YouTube video on this. I'll answer the question in visual as well. But we'll go live about it on a Sunday. Tabletop is you lying on your back, your legs are at 90-degree angle your hip and 90 going out your knee, aka you're in a position of a chair. So you're basically sitting in a chair, (but laying on your back) but laying on your back. Why don't love that is you sit a chair all day, I don't want you to sit in a chair, I want your hips to be opened up. I want your glutes to be working I want your hamstrings to be working. And in the position of tabletop, it is extremely difficult for the average person to work their glutes and their hamstrings, you pretty much cannot because of the position that you're in. So I don't want that. Now, I'm not saying you can't I'm not saying it's not possible that you could there are a possibility of everything but the average person cannot and is never, what it's all going to teach you to do is hold your legs up at the diagonal with your hip flexors in your quads. I want you to use all the muscles of your legs so your full fast and your quads and I want your whole thing working. So if the person's back or their level does not allow them to have straight legs or high diagonal or lower or even to the ceiling, then I will put their legs on the ground straight and squeezing. And if their back isn't like that I will bend their knees but keep their feet on the ground and then they can work their feet into the ground energetic pulling towards them. so that their glutes and hamstrings are working things like a shoulder bridge, but with that back lie on your back. So at any rate, there are ways to support people's conditions and levels without putting him in tabletop. And I think we should always be exploring that. Because the goal of modifying anyone is not to make it so that they can just do a choreography, it's so that they could do the next level of exercise someday. And that someday might be next week that someday might be next year. But I'm not going to modify someone to a position that's never going to get them to where they need to go.

And y'all where our yoga teacher is like the force to inventions or the chair and shoes, and I couldn't agree more. And so I'm not gonna put people on a chair. Anyways. Okay, because right now, (great question). You can send in your questions in any way you want, you can send him into our chat, our support, you can email us back through our podcast email, (YouTube). yeah you can comment on our Youtube channel. I will we will put them in and answer your questions. We love doing that, because I think it's I as someone who doesn't naturally ask a lot of questions, I'm really working on this. And I have a win to share. I'll share my FYF this week. But so I want to encourage you to write in questions because I want you to practice asking questions, your curiosity can continue on.

Brad Crowell 11:24  

I mean, if you're on a walk right now, and you're like, Well, I don't know where any of those things are. Just go to opc.me/chat and ask us there. 

Lesley Logan 11:30  

Yeah, there you go. That's good. We'll put that link in the show notes.

Brad Crowell 12:05  

All right. Now let's talk about Rory Vaden. Rory is the co-founder of Brand Builders Group, where he leverages his wealth of experience decades of speaking from stage to serve mission driven messengers and help individuals build their personal brands. Okay, I must say it was the most concise and well-delivered elevator pitch anyone ever heard. It was like when you were like, hey, tell us what you rock at. He was like, I know this. In one fucking

Lesley Logan 13:21  

sentence, y'all. If you want to be on this podcast, maybe like, actually come up with what you do in a sentence. I love all of our guests. But sometimes I'm like, so that was three minutes of you telling them what you do. Where are we going to unpack next.

Brad Crowell 13:35  

So it's actually making me realize that I want to revisit hours even because it was just so well said and concise and clear and understandable. And I was like, wow, I love that. I really love that. 

Lesley Logan 13:49  

Yeah, I do, too. 

Brad Crowell 13:50  

So takeaway number one work on your elevator pitch.

Lesley Logan 13:52  

Yeah, that's already we already got one for you with our own homework. So he shared some insight about with a bat, like why people can fail because people fail in air quotes, at their goals are doing what they want to do. And he said, willpower eventually fails. And you guys, yes, we've talked about this before. It is proven in science around behavior. If you want to read Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg, that's where I studied with on to get my habits coaching certificate and he calls willpower motivation. He calls them a fickle friend, like they're really fun for a party, like you're totally, totally taking motivation to a party, but you would actually not as motivation to pick you up for the airport. Because like, it might not show up. And we're all waiting for this motivation or this hour, like right to to be there when we most need it. But it's you're asking the wrong things to be there when you most need it. And so he said that the one force that never extinguishes is service. And that's what he talked about. He created him. He helped service-driven messengers, right, like that's his thing. And so out when you are very clear on how you serve people when you make it about the people that you serve.

Brad Crowell 15:05  

Yeah, sorry, he serves mission-driven messengers. 

Lesley Logan 15:08  

Yeah, that's what he does. So for example, one of our big mission is like more about this big why. Why? Because we know it makes people be better human beings, right? So because my mission is that day, because that's what we focus on. When it comes to all the work that we have to do or the ideas we do and the obstacles we hit along the way. In doing that, I'm so clear on how we actually help people, we change their lives. You heard it in last week's recap, one of our agency members, we're there, we helped her make the money she wanted to make. So she can have the life she wants to have. You can throw all the obstacles in front of me, I'm still gonna remember that that's why I do this. And because of that, I don't need willpower. I don't need motivation. I focus on how can I put my service out there to help people so that they can feel like that we can change the world? 

Brad Crowell 15:53  

Yeah, I think he also coupled ambition with willpower. Yeah, you know, so like, you know, definitely, it fades over time. You know, I found as I'm getting older, and I'm having less energy, consistent, I guess, also, that insane hyperactivity energy that I've just had innately is changing. And so my, my willpower, I'm feeling that shift that my ambition, it's become a lot more of a I need to focus back on why I'm doing what I'm doing. And I think that's where figuring out where you can serve people. When you're operating out of a place of service. You it's got built-in rewards, because you help others succeed at the thing, whatever the thing is that you're helping them with.

Lesley Logan 16:45  

Yeah, he said, the moment you dedicate your life, this is him quoting Larry Winget the moment you dedicate your life in the service of others then you never run out of energy. Yeah. And and so like, he also Larry's Larry's person who said, like, the goal is to find your uniqueness and exploit it in the service of others. And I think like exploit can be such a bad word. But in this space, you can see it's a positive word. You exploit yourself your own uniqueness to help other people out. And Larry Pink, Larry Pink, no, Pink, David Pink, excuse me, David Pink. He's the one who told who said to me. He said to me, personally, I love that I just like that. So funny. When he called me up. I'll see you guys. I'm on half-cup coffee. But he said in another podcast that I took, like he was talking to me. And he said, if what you do helps other people if it solves the problem, if it takes them out of pain, and pain doesn't have the physical guys, it can be mental. It can be anything. You have a moral obligation to sell it to them. So we take what David Pink says, moral obligation, we take what Larry Winget says like, you take your uniqueness, and you exploit it in the service of others. And then you take what Rory Vaden is saying, hello, you are you, you have got to show up as yourself because it helps people. And so I just really, I really love this because I think especially the people listening to this podcast are people who like, want to help people. But then they're like, I don't want to, I don't want to charge. I don't want to, I don't want to say I only help these people because then I couldn't help these people. No. You are perfectly designed to help the people that you are the best designed to help and that means you go all in on that and you charge for it.

Brad Crowell 18:27  

Yeah. To quote what Lesley Logan always says, (Lesley Logan) you are the right person doing what you're supposed to be doing.

Lesley Logan 18:37  

You are the only person you are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. 

Brad Crowell 18:41  

That's what it is. I listen to my wife all the time.

Lesley Logan 18:46  

Let me say it two more times, you are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. You're it. You're the only person and so if you take that, and then you just listened to what I just said. David Pink, and Larry Winget and Rory Vaden hello, why on earth would you hold back other people from having the feelings and the life that they could have? Because they're the only person who could do what they do. But if they're in pain, or they don't have the strength to do it, they can't help other people. It is a domino effect. If you hold back, you're holding everyone back. Okay. 

Brad Crowell 19:15  

Yeah, Rory said that the secret is not to think about yourself and moving you forward but to think about the person out there who needs you. So love that. Amazing. So there was just so many amazing nuggets. Like I said in this interview that it's really hard to decide

Lesley Logan 19:35  

I did such a great job. 

Brad Crowell 19:36  

Yeah, you did so good getting Rory to say the things that Rory's gonna say yes. I'm so proud of you babe. It was hard for us to pick what to talk about. So, but you know, thinking about you know, that willpower eventually fails and, you know, operating out of a place of service When it comes to moving your personal goals forward money, he said, money is the byproduct of adding value to people's lives. It's the byproduct of adding value, right? So basically, wealth comes as a result of making meaning contributions. And he said that if you don't have the money that you want, then you haven't reached as many people as you need to reach, to have the impact, to generate that money, right, as a byproduct of serving them, and explained that money should not be your ultimate goal. It is secondary to your mission, your message, your reputation, your impact, right? And he also said something really interesting because he comes from the church, the world of the church and Christianity. And he said, most people really have a hard time embracing that money can be a benefit. They look at money, like it's evil, right? And he said, it's not that money itself is evil. Money can be the root of evil, right? I think that's actually a Bible quote. Money is the root of all evil.

Lesley Logan 21:19  

I hate that. I hate that quote. Also, it's not it's human beings. I don't subscribe to that at all. Because I actually think that money is like money.

Brad Crowell 21:30  

It's so it's First Timothy. And it says, For the love of money is the root of all evil (for the love of money), the love of money. 

Lesley Logan 21:36  

You know what you can we just have a like little sidebar. So no one ever says for the love of money. They say money is a word. That everyone, they say that you don't want it. They say that so you don't want it so you don't try hard. So you can stay small, so you can stay at the bottom of the ladder. So this is where I get really pissed off about Bible verses because people don't fucking quote the whole verse. (Yeah) And if you listen to every episode, you do know, I know all the Bible verses, I've listened, I've read them. So I read them, and I don't you got to use for the love. Rory is very clear. He says, you're not doing it for the money. You're doing it in service other people.

Brad Crowell 22:12  

Well, he said that money is a tool, right? So so money is not evil. Money is just a tool. Money is just a tool. Like actually, he said a hammer is a tool to put a picture into a wall, right? It's you don't have to love money in order to have money, or you don't have to love money to be trying to get money. And getting money does not make you evil.

Lesley Logan 22:37  

No. And having money to make you evil and people who like so I just I really think it's important that we are clear on this because every single one of you deserves to be able to have all the tools you need to live the lifestyle you want to have. And Chris Harder is the one who told us like good people who make good money do great things. Yeah. And if good people don't have fucking money, guess what happens? People don't get shit. Because guess what? assholes are not giving money away. They're just not. So you're not an asshole. Because you listen to this podcast, you get to take your amazing uniqueness exploited in the service of others, money will come through them into you, and you can use that as a tool to do whatever is your mission on this fucking planet.

Brad Crowell 23:22  

I love it. He said that. Wealth amplifies the inherent characteristics of the individual. He said, so if you're a dickhead, and then you get money, you're going to be a dickhead with money. But if you're a generous person, and then you get money, you're going to be a generous person with money. 

Lesley Logan 23:37  

We have a whole money Podcast coming up. Because I just I just recorded it and struggling to not quote her, because I want to take away her thing.

Brad Crowell 23:45  

So just I didn't quote Rory very well right there, but 

Lesley Logan 23:49  

Just fucking stay tuned. If this money thing if you need to, like save this rewind, listen again, and then keep listening because I got money episode coming up.

Brad Crowell 23:58  

He actually said if you're a jerk money is gonna make you more of a jerk. If you're a generous, humble person, money's gonna make you an even more generous and humble person. (Yeah.) So and he said also that, you know, just as a total side note, having millions of followers is not going to it's not a prerequisite for achieving wealth. And this is an I'm just going to kind of jump into this because he and his wife are building Brand Builders Group. Right. And he's like, I only have a couple thousand followers. But because of how we're doing what we're doing and why we're doing what we're doing. They are about to break eight figures in sales y'all. Right? And he's a couple thousand followers, eight figures and sales, his own is right around the corner. You don't need to be making a huge, like social media impact in order to be generating money. Right. So he said it's about serving a few people in a deep, deep way. (I love it.) Yeah, it's I'm listening to Rory is just so inspiring. (I know) Seriously. (Everytime.) 

All right, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Rory Vaden? He said that you are always most powerfully positioned to serve the person that you once were. I'm gonna say that again. If you're trying to figure out what you can do in service of other people, you are most powerfully positioned to serve the person that you once were. Right. And Lesley, I think it took us a few years to figure this out before we ever met Rory. But it was so funny when we were going through like, client avatar, customer avatar journey, and all this stuff for years. All of a sudden, it was like we ended up talking to you from 10 years before. Yes. And that was like, it was kind of a novel, like inspiration for us. Because then it became really clear because it was like well, you know who you were then the things that you worried about what you did the things that you were going after. 

Lesley Logan 26:47  

We still do that, like even I even my elevate mentorship is about serving the teacher that I once was this the mentorship that I was looking for. And I had to cobble together several mentorships along the way to get to where I am. And I'm like, I don't want that for the few. The other me's out there. There should just be one.

Brad Crowell 27:07  

Yeah. And and the same thing goes with the book for Profitable Pilates that she wrote, I mean, it's answering all the questions that you wish you had had answered when you were going down the path of should How do I become a Pilates instructor? Yeah. So you know, you know, you are most powerfully positioned to serve the person you once were. Every bit of pain that you've ever gone through. It's part of preparing you preparing us and shaping us into the person that we need to be today so that we can turn back around and help others who are going through the same thing. And Rory said, here's a here's a list of questions you can help answer that will help you come to this in your own life. What challenges have you conquered? What obstacles have you overcome? What setbacks Have you survived? What tragedies have you triumphed over? Or problems? Have you pushed past? Now I sound like I'm a preacher. All the alliterations Rory, I love you. Whatever the answers are to those questions therein lies, your uniqueness and the thing that you can do, you're looking for the thing that you can do that nobody else can do as well as you.

Lesley Logan 28:10  

Yeah, I love that action item. I'm gonna go find one now. So he said that I might need to have clarity. Because if you are unclear about what you want, then you get then you hit walls, and you don't actually think you're good enough. As we said, he said, you bounce off a wall and you're like, I'm failing. I'm not good at this. And it's like, actually, it's not that you you're not good at it, or you don't have enough money or you don't have enough resources or that your audience isn't big enough. He said that you're distracted, you lack clarity, you're diluted, and he's 70 of diluted focus. You get diluted results.

Brad Crowell 28:42  

Yeah. Not diluted, diluted. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 28:45  

Yeah. Diluted results. And here's the thing, y'all, we, we know this from experience, we I started two companies at the same time, I didn't know that I should not do that. And, um, and then we added a third in there. And so and so, you know, we've talked about this longest before, like, if I knew what I knew, I knew then what I know now, we probably only have one company that we focus a lot on, don't ask me which one to choose. I'm not gonna choose my children, but but we've had to get really clear on our marketing calendar, who we're talking to, and really trying to make sure that there's overlap there. So we don't have diluted results.

Brad Crowell 29:21  

Yeah, it's made things complex for us. Where if, if what you know what we now go back to our clients, and Profitable Pilates, when we're coaching them, and say, Hey, pick one thing and stay focused on it, you become known for that thing. Only after you become known for the thing should you then even consider branching out and maybe you don't.

Lesley Logan 29:46  

And that's actually why we didn't even create a mentorship years ago and people asking me people who are in my round one of my mentorship, I had them going can you just do this like in 2018? And I said no, because I don't want to confuse people. I need to focus on these other things that I've got and so it wasn't until I knew that we were known enough in how we teach Pilates about how it's not perfection, that I would add this other tear of something, and mostly don't even know it exists, because we actually rarely talked about it. So and it's because it's that we don't want to have diluted focus and get diluted results.

Brad Crowell 30:16  

Yeah, I think I think what he was talking about with what was kind of the shiny object syndrome is what he was alluding to, and actually say that but you know, oh, I think I'll do a podcast. And then we'll do a course and they'll do a webinar, and then we'll do this. And they'll do that. And nothing's working. Right. And he's like, Well, of course, it's not working, you know, because you actually don't have clarity in what you're trying to do. (Yeah.) And so how could it work? Right, and it was just amazing. It's literally worth going back and listening to his episode again. (Yeah.) Because that segment, which I think was near the beginning, was revelatory y'all.

Lesley Logan 30:51  

Yeah. So get make sure you have clarity

Brad Crowell 30:54  

Very clarifying. 

Lesley Logan 30:55  

Yeah, make sure you have clarity about what you're doing. And if you don't, that doesn't mean you don't like move forward, you just like sit with it and get some more clarity around it. And, and then one, and then again, we have about like as an agency, whatever is like now money versus later money, once you have are known which of your now money that will get add these other things, because you will have the tools and the experience and the clarity to make those other things work you want.

Brad Crowell 31:22  

Well and the audience Yes. You know, if you have your now money, that means you're already serving people, people are wise to trust you for the thing, whatever the thing is that you're most known for. 

Lesley Logan 31:30  

And again, it's not about how big the audience is. It's just having an audience that trusts you. So yeah.

Brad Crowell 31:35  

And then when you introduce us after they trust you when you introduce another concept, they're willing to embrace that as well. Where if you introduce yourself with both concepts right away, they're confused. Yeah. All right. I'm Lesley Logan. 

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 31:49  

Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you going to use these tools in your life? We want to know DM us at the Pod, share it with a friend and until next time, be it till you see it.

Bye for now. 

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. 

I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell 31:56  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 31:56  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 31:56  

Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 31:56  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 31:56  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Dive deep with Rory Vaden, renowned speaker and entrepreneur, as he reveals the pivotal role of service in shaping his success journey. Discover the transformative power of purposeful service and the secrets to finding your unique brand DNA.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How service can be the key to driving success.
• Steps to create a successful framework for personal branding.
• How focused effort can help you break free from obscurity.
• Discovering the real reasons behind most failures.
• How to offer service that surpasses mere self-interest.
• Learning to see money as a secondary outcome of genuine service.

Rory's Vaden Links

• Finding Your Brand DNA
• Personal website
• Instagram
• Facebook 
• YouTube
• Affiliate Link
• Toastmasters
• Procrastinate on Purpose: Five Permissions to Multiply Time
• Building an Influential Personal Brand with Rory Vaden and Lewis Howes

Guest Bio:

Rory Vaden, a renowned expert on the psychology of influence, is a New York Times bestselling author, Hall of Fame Speaker, and an 8-Figure Entrepreneur. With an MBA and the real-world expertise from founding five multi-million dollar ventures, he stands as a trusted voice in both media and business circles. As the Co-Founder of Brand Builders Group, Rory and his wife, AJ Vaden, lead the global forefront in Personal Brand Strategy. They assist mission-driven messengers in magnifying their impact and monetizing their personal brand. With a diverse clientele, they've guided names like Lewis Howes, Amy Porterfield, and Tom and Lisa Bilyeu, equipping both seasoned experts and budding entrepreneurs to convert their reputation into revenue.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Rory Vaden 7:03  

The only way you get wealthy is helping other people. Money is a direct, a direct result, and a direct byproduct of how many people you have helped. Like, how many people have bought a computer and used Microsoft Office? Right? That's why Bill Gates is super duper rich. How many people use Amazon? And how many times have they use it? And how? How convenient has that made your life? That's why Jeff Bezos is super rich, like the your wealth. And what I would say is you should look at it the opposite of going I shouldn't feel bad for charging, it's going, if I'm not making enough money, it means I'm not helping enough people. Or I'm not helping enough people in a deep enough way.

Lesley Logan 9:57  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It Babe. Oh, okay. It's not very often that I get to share one of the important people in my life who helped me do the things that I do with all of you. And it's not, it's not for any other. There's not any reason. But I have been wanting this person on the pod since it started. And and then I was able to make some magic happen and their teammates and magic happen. And we got this amazing interview for you to hear and y'all are going to want to slow down so you can listen to every word of our guest today, Rory Vaden, co founder of Brand Builders Group, dear friend to Brad and I, and someone who's the mission he has been on has definitely allowed us to continue our mission and impact as many lives as we can. And we want to, and that's why this podcast exists. So thank you for being here and listening because you, you're who we do this for and you're about to listen to the person who helped me do this. So Rory Vaden is here and again, slow down so you can listen all the words, he says, you're gonna write some things down, you're gonna hit some rewinds you're probably gonna want those quote cards that our team's gonna do, because there's so many great questions for you to ponder. So many great thoughts for you to think about. When you get stuck. These are going to get you unstuck so hit today on this episode, and now here's Rory Vaden.

All right, Be It babe. I'm so excited. This man has been in my life longer than he probably knows. I've been following him for a while. I listened to many of his talks before I got to actually formally work with him, Rory Vaden from Brandbuilders Group. Thank you so much for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and why you rock?

Rory Vaden 14:23  

Oh, thank you, Lesley. Well, it's such an honor to be here. I am the co founder of Brandbuilders Group. So we are a personal brand strategy firm. And so we help mission driven messengers to become more well known. So we specifically work with experts and entrepreneurs, all the way from some of our clients are people like Lewis Howes and Amy Porterfield and Ed Mylett and Jasmine Star and Peter Diamandis and Eric Thomas, ET the hip hop preacher, which is a small percentage of our audience, but they're pretty well known folks. All the way to someone who would just say as an aspiring mission driven messenger, they, they have a calling, they feel like they have a message they want to get out to the world or a product they want to create. But they don't really know how to get people to find them. And they sometimes feel nervous about, how do I get people to find me? And how do we get people to buy? So we're going to help you become wealthy and well known and make a huge impact along the way. 

Lesley Logan 15:25  

Yeah, well, you know, I'm all about that. I love that. I think it's, I think making making the impact is obviously what everybody wants, but also getting paid to make that impact is important. Because then you can do a lot more with that money, you can take care of the people you love, you can take care of people, you can always want to help. So I think it's amazing. Rory, this is not the first thing you've been doing in your life. You did a lot before. Before this, what was your journey to getting into where you are now? Like, was it? Did you? Did you kind of fall into this? Like, how did you kind of get to where you're like, Oh, we're gonna help people spread their message?

Rory Vaden 15:59  

Well, yeah. So I was raised by a single mom, who sold Mary Kay. And which means that I know more about makeup than I do about cars, and all things, I'm all things feminine, anything outside is outside my comfort zone. Anything inside makes me happy. And so we didn't grow up with a lot. And I've always been fascinated with success. From the time that I was very, very young. And I, when I was in sixth grade, I was attending a you know, I was at Platt Middle School, PMS, this is a true story. I went to PMS. That is, that was my middle school. And they brought this this speaker into the gymnasium one day. And this guy was so inspiring and so funny. But he told this awful story about like, how his brother got murdered, and he went to jail, and all of his friends were getting shot, because they were in drugs and doing all these awful things. And, you know, the point was, like, make good choices. And I thought, you know, there were two things I thought to myself, I thought, one, man, what if someone actually made good choices their whole life? Where would they end up? And the second was, I thought, What a cool job. I wonder how you get to be that guy. And so then lastly, when I was in high school, I was like on Student Council, and we had the budget, we control the budget for like the student programming, and we hired somebody to come and we paid this guy $1,000 to come speak, like three times in the gymnasium. And it blew my mind that somebody would get paid $1,000 to speak for an hour. And pretty much right there. I was like, This is it. This is what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I'm going to be a speaker, I'm going to go places, I'm going to make people laugh, I'm going to inspire them, and they're going to pay me to do it. But I had no idea how I had I had no idea. You know, where do you learn how to do this? What does it take? 

Lesley Logan 18:00  

Yeah, I mean, like back then not to like, like our ages, but like an elder millennial, couldn't look these things up on the internet. 

Rory Vaden 18:08  

No, it wasn't like your guidance. There's not like there's not like a career for professional speaker or messenger or like author, you know, that came. So you know, I joined a direct sales company when I was in college. And the only reason I wanted to become a top producer was so that I could speak at their annual event. And so I did that. And then I heard about this contest called the World Championship of public speaking. And it was put on by this organization called Toastmasters, which is still very alive and well. And they every year they have a contest where 25,000 people from 90 countries compete for a chance to be called the world champion. And I thought, maybe if I won the world championship of public speaking that would like launch my career. And so for two years, I went all in on it. I spoke 304 times for free. I watched over 1100 hours of film, I received 2200 written evaluations, I spent 10s of $1,000 of dollars on coaching and training, read dozens of books. And in 2006, I made it to the top 10 speakers in the world. And I was the youngest person in history to do that. And I lost but then in 2007 I studied harder, I went back again I was stronger, I was smarter, and I made it all the way back to the World Championship. And that was the year that I will I lost again actually and I lost better I lost higher, I technically was the World Champion of Public Speaking first runner up. So I was second place in the world. I was 23. Shortly after that, I had this friend that I had met in college, we decided to start a company that would put on motivational sales training conferences, because I had been going door to door that direct sales company I had been going door to door learning about sales and we grew that company from four people to 200 employees. We were an eight figure sales, training and coaching business. Over the course of that time, my first book take the stairs came out when I was 29. It became a New York Times bestseller. A few years...(Lesley: did you sleep?) I did sleep I've always been, I've actually always been very strict about sleeping. You know, I sleep like seven hours, but every night like I don't, I don't, you know, I don't sleep 12 hours and I don't I don't sleep three, like I sleep, I sleep. And so and then I had a TED Talk go viral. A few years later, my second book was based on that it was called Procrastinate on Purpose - Five Permissions to Multiply Time, I got inducted into the professional speaking Hall of Fame when I was 37. And then in 2018, my wife and I, so I had met my wife in this other company, we were business partners, we grew it. And in 2018, we unexpectedly sold our former company, was very sudden, very unexpected. We sold the company and then all of a sudden, we had zero platforms, zero social media, zero podcast, zero employees, zero revenue. But I had met a guy named Lewis Howes along the way, and I become friends with him because I was a guest on his show. And he called me one day and said, Hey, man, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I feel like I could really use your help with the strategy for my business. And so Lewis became our very first client. And he spent two days with us. And he said, This is the most powerful business experience I've ever had. I'm going to bring you on my show, we're going to tell the whole world. And so Brandbuilders Group was born because of Luis, he said, This is what we needed to do. And now, you know, we have about 600 active clients. We have about three dozen people on our team. We'll do we'll be back at about eight figures this year, which will be our sixth business, multi multi million. And, and we're, you know, we were working with Lesley Logan, which has been the dream.

Lesley Logan 22:05  

I knew. I knew it. This whole podcast is here because of it. I don't think I could put it together without like the way that you helped people put together a podcast because I think, well, I know proudly, like, No, we're not doing it because we had a whole thing in 2019. He's like, no new things in 2019. We're not doing anything new. And then 2020 was like, we just have to finish what we've started. We have to wrap up when we started, we have to get everything going. And then 2021 I was like, you have to let me now. I waited a long time, you have to let me know. I have BBD I have the whole setup. I know I listened to the whole thing. I know exactly what I have to do. So I want to go back though, because I want to highlight something. The amount of speeches you did for free sounds like almost every other day in a year.

Rory Vaden 22:49  

Two years, two was many days there were multiple in the same day. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 22:53  

So how like, did you ever just want to give up? Like, did you ever go like, because I'm thinking about the people who are like trying to get started. And it's like, what I find is that they don't I've talked to five people and nothing happened. It's like, people are like, I did 300 speech. So like, how did you get to yourself when that this is one more thing leading me towards where I'm gonna go and not feeling like it's one more sign that it's not working.

Rory Vaden 23:19  

So here's why I think people fail. Willpower eventually fails. I think ambition eventually fails. But there is one force that I have found that never extinguishes and never runs dry never goes on empty, which is service. The way that you succeed, and this is the single greatest piece of personal brand strategy advice I've ever received came from a gentleman named Larry Winget. And this is not a Rory Vaden. Quote, although I wish it was. Larry said the goal is to find your uniqueness and exploit it in the service of others. And that's what we do at Brandbuilders Group, we help people find their uniqueness, their uncopyable difference, the one thing that they can do different and better than anyone else in the world, because it's who they were created to be. And when you're operating in service, all of a sudden everything else goes away. Like there, there is no fear when the mission to serve is clear. We only feel fear when we're being self centered. Right? When we go, Is anyone going to like me? Is this going to work out? Is this worth my time? Am I doing a good job? Is anyone paying attention? Is my platform gonna grow? It's all me, me, me, me, me, me. But you never feel fear when the mission to serve is clear. If there's a car accident, on the side of the road, there's a car turned over and it's on fire and you run over to pull someone out of the car. Notice how you're not thinking about how does my hair look? You're not thinking about as my outfit cute. You're not worried about does my breath stink, you're going to save someone. That is what we have realized it takes to break through the wall. There's something we call she hands wall, which is breaking through and becoming mainstream, which we have helped, now, several clients of ours have done. Some of them, we've helped more than others. But but it's, it's going, the moment that you dedicate your life in the service of others, then you never run out of energy. But when you're serving yourself, you do, you eventually, because the road to success is so much rejection and so much failure and so much setback. But the secret is to not be thinking about yourself, but to be thinking about the person out there who needs you. And what we believe, Lesley is that the calling that you feel on your heart, to start a business, to get a message out there in the world, we believe that the calling that you're feeling is the result of a signal that is being sent out by someone else. And that person actually needs you much more than you need them. And that when you listen to that signal, and we try to just, you know, our job is to sort of cultivate that, and to help that relationship come together. That you never get tired, and you never run low. And so I think for me, I've always listened to that calling, even though I didn't make money for a really long time. And nobody would pay attention. For the longest time I was just this kid who was like in the industry, and people are like, why would anyone listen to you? You're so young. And then before that people were just saying like, Oh, you're the wonder child, like, where did you come from? You know, when my first book hit the New York Times when our book hit, I was 29 years old. And people are like, where did you come from? And it's like, Dude, I've been doing this for 12 freakin years already. Like, I know, you know. And so we say a lot of times, it's like, I'm even today, I'm still pretty young in age time. I'm only 40. Right? But I'm old in stage time. And, and, and that's, you know, that's what matters. So it's just leaning into the calling and listening to that.

Lesley Logan 27:08  

I love that. You said that. Because as we're talking about, like, how to become self centered, we have fear. And when it's for other people, we don't because I had this like, like this vulnerability hangover. I did a podcast interview and I was the next day I woke up going, did I say too much? And I like started to make the whole podcast in my head about me. Yeah. And then I was (...) like, do you think I said too much? Like, Do do you think, too, or do you think it was helpful? She's like, No, what you said was very explained the whole thing. It's very helpful, like took a lot of imposters (...) like, oh, okay, and I tend to check myself and like, Oh, we got our dial turn, we started thinking about us and not about like, who we were there. What that whole point of that whole podcast that message was for. And so whenever I whenever I get a little bit like I'm scared things I'll be working with the goin on. I noticed it's always because I'm thinking I'm being rejected, or it's about me. But everything we've done has, has always been with the mission of like more bodies doing Pilates. So it doesn't really matter if I teach you or somebody teaches you just the fact that you find it because I know it's gonna make you a better person. And when I can keep that in my mind, it's almost like there's not an obstacle. There's not a failure. It all is like in it's all helping like putting more people into that bucket that I've been wanting to do. You also said something else, though. And it's that you've been doing this for 12 years already. And I think that so many people, they maybe have heard the story of when other people but like so many people forget that every person you see who's like this new star, this new thing person that just came on the scene, they've been busting their butt for a decade.

Rory Vaden 28:44  

Every one of them

Lesley Logan 28:46  

I was listening to this woman who like is the owner of hint water, and the podcast host was like, oh, yeah, just discover your water. How long have you been doing this? She's like, Oh, we've been around for like 12 years we've been around. And so it's just so funny because I funny not haha, but just interesting is that, like, we put all these people on a pedestal like it happens so fast for them. And so it's not happening fast for us, or something's wrong with us. But really, it's not happening that fast for anybody. It's just, it's just that people kept going.

Rory Vaden 29:14  

Right. And I think, yeah, totally. And sometimes it's like we see the best in others. And we see the worst in ourselves. And we we don't realize that what they went through, you know, you don't see everything that they went through. And I think social media has made it worse because you just see that you just see the picture perfect story along the way. And you see the the curated highlight reel. But none of that matters, right? It's going, forget about what other people are doing, and even forget about the own success you're having. And when we help someone find their uniqueness, right, because Larry said, that's what you should do, but he never developed a process for how to do that. And so we did, and that's what Brandbuilders Group is, I mean, Brandbuilders Group, as you know, is 14 different two day experiences. That's what Brandbuilders Group, our full curriculum is 14 different two day experiences. But the first one is called Finding Your Brand DNA. It's just finding your uniqueness. And so if you go what's the first step? In the first course on the first day? And the genesis of building a personal brand all starts by answering this one simple question with one word, which most people cannot do. It is what problem do you solve? What problem do you solve for the world? And most of us cannot answer that question. And you need to be able to answer that question, clearly. Because first of all, if you can't answer that question, if you can't tell people what problem you solve, if you don't know there's no way your customers your prospects are ever going to know. But when we look at what problem you solve, and we reconcile that with another question, which is what are you passionate about? What lights you up? What pisses you off? What makes you mad? Like what makes you so angry? And also what breaks your heart? What makes you cry? What what is the problem where you look at it in the world and you say, I'm not okay with that. I'm not comfortable with that. I won't accept that this problem exists in the world. Not on my watch. I won't let somebody else go through that. I'm going to dedicate my life to solving that problem for people. Mother Teresa dedicated her life to ridding the world of poverty. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. dedicated his life to ridding the world of inequality. Brene Brown is dedicating her life to ridding the world of shame. Dave Ramsey, rids the world of debt. What is the problem that you solve? That you go, it's not about making money, it's not about me, it's about going, I want to make this world a better place. Literally. I want to take my time and talents and help somebody get past something. And that's how you break through what we call she hands wall. It's, it's this focus, because, so basically, Lesley, you know, there's two groups of people. In any given market, there's two groups of people, there are those who are unknown, they're dealing with obscurity. And then there are those who are known or they have notoriety, right? And that's what what's what we do at Brandbuilders Group, we help people overcome obscurity, and we help them develop notoriety or become well known. That's what we're doing. Now. What most people in obscurity do is they look at the people in notoriety, and they do they want to do all the different things they do, right? And so they look at, oh, well, the rock is like an actor, and a wrestler, and an athlete. And he has a tequila line. And, you know, in all these, all these things, and then you go, well, Oprah has all these different things. And Tony Robbins talks about money and relationships and business and health and spirituality. And so we go, well, I want to talk about lots of topics like they do. And so we have too many topics. And then every time we go to another mastermind, or watch and see a new Facebook ad, there's like a new business model, and we go, oh, we need to do coaching. Because everyone, that's where it's at. No, I heard that courses are like passive income. But really, membership sites give you recurring revenue. retreats could be like high dollar offer. But you know, if I had a mastermind, and people like came to me was like this really high end mastermind I could, but I really want to speak but consulting can make millions of dollars doing consulting, and like (...) No, I know. And it's like, well, brand deals. And, and, and, you know, we could do day planners. And so they have all of these messages, all of these business models, they're serving all of these audiences on all of these different problems or on all of these different platforms. And they are bouncing off the wall. And the reason they're most people are bouncing off the wall, is because when you have diluted focus, you get diluted results. And the only thing we do is help people find their uniqueness. Figure out what is the one audience you can serve in the deepest way? What is the one problem you can solve for them? What is the one business model, the one revenue stream above all others that matters? And we know that even if we don't teach you anything, or if you don't do anything else we teach, if we can just help you focus, you put more of your assets and more of your resources towards those things, the likelihood of them succeeding goes up exponentially. And so that's what happens is people break through the wall, on one thing, one problem, one audience, one revenue stream. And then once you break through the wall on that one thing, once you're on the other side, then you can expand into other stuff because you have more money, you have more tension, you have more resources, you have more team members, but if not, you're just going to bounce off the wall. Because diluted focus equals diluted results.

Lesley Logan 29:14  

Well and bouncing off the wall ends up just tearing out your confidence levels and like your ability to think that you can get back up and do it again. So it's it's kind of, you're kind of setting yourself up just to like, hit the wall and fall down and go, Oh, that's another thing that didn't work. Because you're not actually like allowing yourself to drill all the way through. I love the visual of students. While I also just want to go back to those questions, you were saying, like, what do you love?

Rory Vaden 35:13  

One thing on the confidence because you bring up a good point, right? When people bounce off the wall, they think they're failing because they're not good. Or they're not smart enough, or they don't have enough money or enough resources or their audience isn't big enough. Yeah, none of those things are true. The reason they're failing is because they're distracted. They're diluted, what they lack is clarity. They lack clarity of who they are helping, what they're providing for that person, and how they can solve that problem for that person. It's, it's the people who succeed are not, I mean, we had four clients last year that were billionaires with a B, like a billion dollars. They're very smart people. But they're not, it's not their intelligence that separates them. And it's not even their confidence. Most of their stories are rooted with deep insecurity and trauma and pain. But what happens is somewhere along the line, they get a crazy idea. And all they think about is that one idea, and they go all in on that one thing, and they do nothing else until that one thing succeeds. And that's how they break through the wall. And then everything and then everything changes. And so you're not missing something. There's nothing that other people have, that you don't have, besides clarity. 

Lesley Logan 36:41  

That is the best. That is the best thing I've ever heard about confidence ever, like that is like that I love that so much. Because it's not the confidence. It is the clarity like it's and and it doesn't mean you're not good enough, right? Like because you it's all the enough, anything enough, I'm not this enough, it's that you just don't have the clarity. And I, you would set a series of questions like what you love, what makes you cry? Like what what do you want to get rid of? Those those are such, those are such great questions, because I do think that people get hung up on like, What is my purpose? Like they want they like, what is my purpose? And like I that is a really heavy question to ask yourself.

Rory Vaden 37:20  

But here's a, here's a better question to then what's my purpose, right? So you go, Okay, I'm trying to find my purpose. But listen to the question that listen to the nature of that question. My purpose. It's self centered in its nature. Our lives have purpose, not inside of our individual autonomy and self centeredness. What creates purpose, our lives have purpose in the context of how we interact in exchange and encounter other people. So if you want to find purpose, don't ask, What's my purpose? ask, Who can I serve? And how can I help? Nobody is irrelevant when they are serving another person. When we exist, inside of ourselves, in this autonomous, you know, world of self centeredness, we lack purpose because we are by ourselves. But when we add value to the lives of others, now we have purpose. And so the purpose comes from service. And that is available to all of us, right? It's like don't go searching for happiness, go searching for someone who can help. If you help the person, I promise you will find happiness. And we are fortunate to live in a world today where there's more tools available to us and audiences are more accessible than ever before that we can actually make our full time focus and entire living, not just a survival living, but an abundant, rich, extraordinarily wealthy, living, dedicating our lives to be 100% in the service of others, helping them solve one small problem. It's mind blowing, right? The world that we live in, is just, it is mind blowing. And so that's how you find purpose.

Lesley Logan 39:14  

Okay, homework for everyone listening and my next question that you just kind of brought up is, so, I grew up with a mom who was Mary Kay so I grew up with...(Rory: Oh, really? That's right. That's right) Mary Kay. Yes, she has a car, she got to meet Mary Kay, did the whole thing, I know. But I also grew up in a household where like, you didn't answer the phone (...) make sure it wasn't a bill collector. So I grew up like that kind of lifestyle. And so I to this day, it says I have 75 on like missed phone calls today. So I don't answer the phone. I'm like, let me screen that. Who was that? However, my point to all this is, you mentioned like you can have this abundant, wealthy life and I think a lot of people feel very guilty, getting paid helping other people. And how have you like did you have that or like, that was not a problem for you? Or have you seen that with other people you work with that? BBG? How do you get them past like charging for this service that they are able to provide to other people?

Rory Vaden 40:09  

Yeah, well, I would say the only way you get wealthy is helping other people. Money is a direct, a direct result, and a direct byproduct of how many people you have helped. Like, how many people have bought a computer and used Microsoft Office? Right? That's why Bill Gates is super duper rich. How many people use Amazon? And how many times have they use it? And how? How convenient has that made your life? That's why Jeff Bezos is super rich, like the your wealth. And what I would say is you should look at it the opposite of going I shouldn't feel bad for charging, it's going, if I'm not making enough money, it means I'm not helping enough people. Or I'm not helping enough people in a deep enough way. And here's another thing that I will say too, is like everyone's so worried about the width of their reach, they forget about the depth of their impact, right? Impact is not just a lot of people, it's to what extent do you help people. Brandbuilders Group is a good example of this, we're gonna hit eight figures, probably this year, we have a bigger business by revenue than most of the biggest personal brands in the world, right? several of which could be our clients even. But we never had millions of followers, right? I have no have millions of followers, you don't need millions of followers to make millions of dollars, it's who you can serve a few people in a deep, deep, deep way, right? Like our whole mission as a company is what we call 1000 Messengers, we want one that, we're going to cap it, like we're at 632 right now, once we hit 1000, we're closing it off, like because we can't serve more than that many in a really, really deep way. And so, money is a byproduct of adding value to people's lives. And so number one, I wouldn't equate, I would switch the way that I am thinking about that. The second thing is to say, look, just because you make a lot of money, doesn't mean you have to keep it all yourself. Every nonprofit in the world, it takes money to run it, every messenger, every message takes money behind it to get the message out to more people. Every person who's in need, it sure helps to have a lot of money to help them with housing and food and shelter. Like you know, obviously shelter, education, transportation, these are the core fundamental issues of humanity largely could be solved by money. And by money in the hands of the right people, money in the hands. So when we say we serve mission driven messengers, it doesn't mean we don't care about money, we do care about money. We like money, we're good at making money. It's just that money is subservient to the mission. Money is subservient to the message. Revenue is subservient to reputation, and an income is subservient to impact. But we need money to be in the hands of good people. That's called stewardship. And the other thing is right now you know me, I'm a hardcore Bible thumping Jesus freak. And Jesus, people sometimes struggle with money. Because of this, you know, all the stuff that Jesus said about, you know, it's harder for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the gates of heaven. And you know, the love of money is the root of all evil. But here's the thing. You don't have to love money, in order to have it, you can have a lot of money, just like you can have a lot of hammers and nails. Money is just a tool, right? It's a tool to do stuff, no different than, you know, house cleaning tools, or you know, something that builds houses or ingredients that you cook with. It's a tool that you use to make things. The question is, are you making things only for yourself? Or are you making them in the service of others, money also makes you more of what you already are. If you are a jerk, money is going to make you more of a jerk. But if you are a generous, humble person, money is going to make you an even more generous, humble person. Money in and of itself is not evil. It's neutral, right? It has no emotion. It's, it's who it's in the hands of, and what's the character of that person? And what is the heart of that person. So you've got to break free of some of those limiting beliefs about money. And again, what I would say and what we tell people is, don't worry about money. Either way. Just focus on service. Just focus on helping a bunch of people. If you do that, you can't stop money from showing up. I mean, it's ridiculous, like, it will come to you just as a byproduct. So let it be that.

Lesley Logan 44:48  

Yes. Okay. I feel like I just went to a great church. Thank you for (...). I couldn't agree more cause on all of that I have, was mentoring one of one of the girls in my group, and she has been teaching differently, thanks for the mentorship. Of course, that would be the goal of the mentorship. So she's doing that, she mentioned it in a win, she's like, so my clients have noticed a difference, and they're just paying me more. They're just like, actually, like, I haven't raised my rates, they're just giving me more money and like, Yeah, cuz you're, you're, you're serving the person, you're making the impact on them, that's so important that they're like this should be she should be charging me for this, because the life you're giving them on the other side of the session is so priceless. They have, they're like wanting to do that. So I think you've highlighted some amazing things that when you make it about them, like it's just gonna come to you, and you're gonna, you're gonna do whatever you want with that. 

Rory Vaden 45:40  

So this is a fun story. I don't think I've ever shared this publicly. This is how Tom and Lisa Bilyeu became clients of ours. So they're also clients of ours, right? So our content mark, it's not just money, it's abundance in general. So for example, our entire content marketing strategy that we teach clients is teach everything you know, for free, give away everything, you know, for free, but do it in small bite sized chunks, and in all random miscellaneous order. And the reason why you can do that is because today, people don't pay for information. People pay for organization, and application. People don't pay for information they pay for organization and application. That's why it's like, I give away so much for free one, just because we have so much so so much content, but people still need help applying it. And so that's what they're going to pay you for is help applying it. Well, we were just, you know, I was helping Tom and Lisa with a project that they had. And I was just like offering to help and help and help just like, hey, what don't have you thought about this? And did you know about this? and dah dah dah, they literally said they said, you've given us so much value, we have to pay you something, we feel guilty, that you've given us so much that we you must let us pay you we don't feel good. Like we actually don't feel good about how this has worked. And that's the other thing that I would say about this is you go, here's a few brandbuilders mantras, we say save the best for first, save the best for first, give it away, and people will pay you for help applying it. And there's another rule that we talked about called the rule of 10. So the rule of 10 says, whatever you're charging, make what you're charging for 10 times as valuable as what you're charging for it. Right? So so a Brandbuilders Group, right? Let's, it doesn't matter who the client is, let's say you have something that's $1,000. If you're going to charge $1,000, our advice is make it really worth $10,000. Because, number one, you'll have more conviction and confidence when you're selling it. And you'll be like, gosh, like you would be crazy not to do this, where people get upside down is where they go, man, I didn't really put that much effort into this, this thing is really kind of a piece of junk, it's really should be $300. But because my coach said it should be 1000 or someone else said it should be I'm just going to charge 1000. And it's like really deep down, you know, this is it's more like the rule, that's the rule of a third, it needs to be the rule of 10 to where you go, you would be insane not to buy this like this, if you buy this, it's going to transform your life in such a massive way that I feel bad not selling it to you. And this is the other part about service. Right? Okay, this is an extreme example. But I mean this literally, imagine if you had the cure for cancer, and you never told anyone about it. Imagine what a dis service, it would be to the world if there is somebody out there right now who has the cure for cancer, but they're afraid to tell people about it because they don't, they don't want to be seen as vain. Or they're afraid of making money for it. And so because they don't have money, they can't tell anyone about it, because they can't hire any marketing people or they can't, you know, whatever, whatever. They can't pay a staff to help them get the word out or etc. It's a disservice to not offer something to someone when you it can actually change their life. Now, I'm not talking about the smoke and mirrors crap that you see online where it's like, throw up some crappy course and try to sell it for $3,000. I'm saying build something that is so valuable that you would feel guilty not selling it like that you would go, I have this secret, and I'm going to help you and so that it all ties back to your uniqueness. Because when you're operating in your uniqueness and you go what audience can I serve in the deepest way? Whose life can I totally transform? If you're doing that, then you won't feel guilty about it because you're just serving and the money just shows up as a byproduct. 

Yeah, I remember hearing years ago an author say like, if you have if you do something that helps someone solve someone's problem, you have a moral obligation to sell it to them. You just like you're actually stealing from them if you're not, if you're not, so it's the same thing. Right? You, you're obviously, you know, you're so amazing, and you know that but like, I feel like you've almost even taken our listeners and like, kind of calm to the crazy mind. It's like, I gotta do this, and I gotta do this. And like, really given us something we could just like, sit down, start with what your uniqueness is everyone, we're going to take a brief break, we could keep going, because you're so amazing, but we were out of time. So take a brief break, and we're gonna find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you, and your Be It action items.

Lesley Logan 50:18  

Alright, Rory, where do you hang out? Where can they get more of you?

Rory Vaden 50:45  

Yeah, so there's only one place I would go, go to freebrandcal.com forward slash Lesley Logan. Okay, freebrandcall.com forward slash Lesley Logan. You know, Lesley is a client of ours. And so, you know, she's graciously invited us here. And one of the things we do for our clients is we offer all of their friends, a free call, the first call is free. And this is, you know, what we do is one on one coaching, even our big events are like small tables with five people and one of our strategists, it's all very much human based. So we'd love to get to meet you. And so anyways, we do that first, we do that first call for free, freebrandcall.com/lesleylogan, that's the place where I would go, of course, I'm on Instagram, and you know, we have a podcast and all the stuff, but I would go to that URL. And I would start there.

Lesley Logan 51:34  

Awesome. We'll put that in the show notes below y'all. And real quick before we let you go bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

Rory Vaden 51:45  

Okay, so I mentioned that finding your brand DNA, finding your uniqueness is a two day experience with us. Right? So hopefully some of you, you know, we'll do a free call and maybe we'll meet with you and we'll see you there. Whether you do or not, though, I'm gonna I'm gonna give you the shortcut right now. I'm gonna give you the secret, like, everyone goes, Okay, Rory, like what's the secret? We didn't know this when we started the company five years ago. But now that we've taken hundreds of people through this, we have realized that there is a consistent pattern. And it's a shortcut that we taught our strategists to help them identify uniqueness in the clients. And here's what we realized. You are always most powerfully positioned to serve the person, you once were. You're most powerfully positioned to serve the person you once were. That for all of us, every bit of pain that we have gone through, is a part of preparing us and shaping us into becoming the person that we needed to be today, so that you can now reach back and help somebody else. So when you say what are your action items? This is what I would say, answer these questions. What challenge have you conquered? What obstacles have you overcome? What setbacks have you survived? What tragedies have you triumphed over? What problems have you pushed past? Whatever the answer is to those questions, therein your uniqueness lies. Therein lies the thing that you can do that nobody else can do. We believe that that is God's divine design of your humanity that you're most powerfully positioned to serve the person you once were. So answer those questions, explore those arenas, and I promise you will find in that not only great purpose, but great potential for great profits. And for sure, the promise of massive, massive impact.

Lesley Logan 53:46  

I want to know everyone's answers. I want to know, I want to know, you guys, you have to let me know, you've to tag the Be It pod, you have to tag BBG, you have to let us know how this whole podcast has impacted you what your takeaways are. Rory, thank you for being here. Thank you for like letting me listen to you all by myself. Even I feel very selfish and also very, very grateful. And y'all thank you so much for being here. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.  I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. 

Brad Crowell 54:10  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 54:10  

It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. 

Brad Crowell 54:10  

Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan 54:10  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. 

Brad Crowell 54:12  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Lesley celebrates proactive planning and its benefits. Discover how setting and meeting early deadlines can provide peace of mind and pave the way for success. Plus, gain insights into how staying ahead of tasks can offer flexibility and reduce last-minute stress. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Learn how to overcome the perception of slow progress and celebrate unexpected breakthroughs.
• Discover how to integrate technology and continuous learning for optimal business growth.
• Understand how to commit to healthy routines even while traveling.
• Grasp how the value of proactive planning fosters a positive work environment.

Episode References/Links:

• Mentions, Christine Ashton, an agency member
• Mentions, Kelly Nyhan, an agency and eLevate member
• PocketSuite App
• Profitable Pilates by Lesley Logan Website

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code LESLEY15

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

Join us at Agency Mini - Sept. 10-16, 2023

Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Amy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs"

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 

Brad Crowell 0:01  

Fuck yeah. 

Lesley Logan 0:02  

Get ready for some wins. 

Lesley Logan 0:05  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:47  

Happy Fuck Yeah Friday. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. This is where we share your wins. And then I share some mine and all this is to inspire us weekly, at least something daily for you all to celebrate what is going well what is happening that you are so proud of. And I think sometimes we think the wins have to be really big. I know a lot of people won't celebrate a win until it's like the full project is completed. But you should actually celebrate the milestones along the way. So we'll start with a win of someone else's. And then I'll share one of mine. So Christine Ashton, who we just got to see in California while on tour, she's a beautiful lavender farm. She wrote, hey, FYF, I've got a temporary client for the month who saw my flyer at the grocery store, where I thought I was hearing crickets, and just had a phone consult. I had a new client book a beginner's package after seeing my ad in our local private community newspaper. I love this one. Because it's so funny, like how we can just think like, nothing is working, nothing is working. And then like, boom, in one day, you have two people who have finally seen what you've been put out in the world. And so congratulations, Christine, I hope you had an amazing time with that client who was in town for the month, and the new client from the newspaper. I have one more one I want to share with you. And that is from Kelly Nyhan. She is In eLevate, an agency. And so we've got kind of a double dose win here. She said I received a compliment in my pocket suite app from one of my clients. It said, "Thanks for the great session today. I love all the new things you're teaching me, you're the best. Tell your teacher that I said so." Hee, I mentioned how I was learning so much in my eLevate mentorship program, then she also added, "I challenged myself to use my new equipment with my clients this week, she has a new pedal Contrology mat, Contrology springs, my clients are loving it, the mat definitely help my clients when they connect, it's especially the roll up." Well, I love that. So she pocket suite is there's a version of the tool that Profitable Pilates has joined with. And we have coaching videos that go along with all the features. And we have waivers and liability forms and all this stuff. And so it can be hard to like, just try new technology in your business. And also, it can be really difficult to get your clients to try it out. And the only issue been doing it and she's been so dedicated this whole year doing it, somebody sent like a little testimonial and love note in there. And as far as like eLevate program goes, I love that, like I love seeing our members in there, apply what they're learning with their clients and bring them along the journey. Because it allows clients know we're always learning. We're always learning. So thank you, Kelly, for sharing that. Okay, so here's the win. We're home, we wrapped up the West Coast tour, we had a great time, we got to work out along the way, which that's a win, right there is just that we planned so well that we could have time every single day to hit a jam, head a dog park, and also eat the things we wanted to eat. I got we had a whole foods within every single place, I got to get some pair foods that made it really great. And I call this a win. Because sometimes we have an air quotes vacation and we get out of routine, it can be really difficult to keep the things up to make you feel really good. But we managed to make that happen, which means it's going to happen this winter, because we figured out a way to make it work. And I'm just so grateful. Another one we have is that we are over a month ahead in a new project that we're working on. And it's just so nice that it's nice to see the things come to fruition when you plan ahead early and you actually stick to the schedule because sometimes you can procrastinate like I have I've time to do this because I'm already just doing it early to get ahead. It's like actually, no, this is a deadline, and we're going to meet that deadline, even though it is gonna be a month early because we're trying to give ourselves space and grace when things come up and not be rushed all the time. So win for me, win for the team, I'm really excited about that. Every single Friday we do this. So make sure you send your wins in. You can actually if you get the podcast newsletter, you can actually send them into there. I'll share them here. And also just take a moment to just write in your own notes on your phone like what's the win you're celebrating this week. And if you do that every day, it's even better but let's just start with one week, one day at a time and see how it goes because when you celebrate your wins, you realize just how far you're coming along. And you get to listen back and go, Oh my God, I did do that. That's what I did. That's amazing. I actually listened to this podcast when it comes out. And I get to vote I'm reminding myself of when I had it makes me just go Oh, yeah, I'm slight I'm just saying when I give myself credit for. So I hope this podcast has also helps you do that. Have an amazing day.

Lesley Logan 5:24  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell 5:55  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 6:00  

It is produced, edited by the Epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 6:03  

Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 6:10  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 6:16  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Lesley and Brad dissect the perplexities of thyroid health, inspired by Elle Russ’s personal experience. From confronting uninformed doctors to the power of perseverance, this episode emphasizes the critical role of self-advocacy in our health journey.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Understanding that thyroid issues are fixable and solvable.
• Strategies for identifying the right doctor who truly resonates with your health concerns.
• The importance of seeking a second opinion and taking charge of your own health journey.
• How sharing your personal health experiences can foster awareness and support for others.
• The value of perseverance because the fix may not happen overnight.

Episode References/Links:

• Elle Russ website
• Agency Mini coaching team waitlist
• Cambodia Pilates Retreat
• Balance Body Pilates
• Chat with us in Lesley's Help Desk on Facebook Messenger!
• Winter Pop Up Tour - https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/product/wput-2022/
• The Plant Paradox (book)
• Undoctored (book)
• The Wheat Belly (book)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code LESLEY15

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

https://

Join us at our West Coast Summer Pop Up Tour - Aug. 8-20, 2023

Join us at Agency Mini - Sept. 10-16, 2023

Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023

FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

Amy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs"

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Everything is a collaboration, whether you're working with your doctor, whether you're working with a pilates instructor, whether with a business coach or even a lawyer. You can't just assume they know best. You know your body best so you have got to advocate for yourself. And then you have to ask them. Can you explain why this is happening? Well, can you explain why we're doing this? Can you answer this? They have, when they're in the room with you, they cannot leave until you're done. If they say do you have any questions, and you ask questions, they can't walk away from you.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life Brad and I are going to dig into the solution-driven convo I have with L Ross in our last episode. If you haven't yet. Listen to that one. Feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen. And then come back and join us here. The thing about LRS you guys I can never I can barely keep her under an hour. She is going to teach you everything she knows about the topic. This has me fired up about it. (She is a strong) if not solution-driven, she is passionate. 

Brad Crowell 2:02  

Oh yeah. And at one point she was close to tears. 

Lesley Logan 2:07  

I know. 

Brad Crowell 2:07  

Talking about her clients.

Lesley Logan 2:09  

I know. I know. So if you haven't listened to our first episode on confidence, you should go listen that it's full of honesty. And then this one was on thyroid because those are actually the two topics that she coaches on. And she's helped a lot of people in both places.

Brad Crowell 2:22  

Yes, she interestingly enough, wrote a book about uninformed doctors. Yeah, that is very famous. Yeah. So huge. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 2:29  

Before we get into that, yeah, today

Brad Crowell 2:33  

Is Thursday, August 24. 

Lesley Logan 2:39  

Is it a special holiday?

Brad Crowell 2:41  

Oh, it might be.

It is Thursday, August 24. 

Lesley Logan 2:51  

Let's see what the first thing is to come out.

Brad Crowell 2:53  

All right. The 24th. Let's go to the 24th. We're looking at International Strange Music Day or hold on my computer.

Lesley Logan 3:04  

Kobe Bryant Day. He died on my 

Brad Crowell 3:07  

National Cuban Sandwich Day. It's National Coconut Week.

Lesley Logan 3:13  

A whole week for coconuts?

A whole week for coconuts. Oh my god today was the day Pluto was demoted. 

Brad Crowell 3:19  

Demoted? Oh, it's no longer a planet.

Lesley Logan 3:21  

Yeah, but you know what? In astrology that's not true. So I think the scientists got it wrong.

Brad Crowell 3:27  

National Ride the Wind Day.

Lesley Logan 3:29  

And then shout out because it is Ukrainian Independence Day. And at this time, they're still fighting for it. So anyways, wow.

Brad Crowell 3:37  

It's also International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition. (Oh, wow.) I think is a pretty important one. 

Lesley Logan 3:43  

I think that's an important one. Where are you seeing that? That's not on mine. 

Brad Crowell 3:46  

August 24. Nationaltoday.com y'all. (I'm looking at it.) in case you're wondering.

Lesley Logan 3:52  

I just didn't see that one. Well, I'm glad we brought it up. That's great. So we had a lot of holidays. Say today it's a big day in the whole world. It's a big, we didn't even talk about how it's National Danny day, which is like, so strange. So it's a day for Danny. You tell us which day you're celebrating today. We'd love to hear it. Also, we just got back from our West Coast tour.

Brad Crowell 4:14  

Holy cow. What a ride.

Lesley Logan 4:16  

Oh my god, bigger than honestly, like bigger than ever bigger than anything.

Brad Crowell 4:23  

3000 miles, 12 cities 20,000 miles,

No just over 3. Twelve cities, 22 or

Lesley Logan 4:33  

24 classes and workshops

Brad Crowell 4:35  

Yeah. Classes and workshops.

Lesley Logan 4:36  

And hundreds of people, hundreds of hundreds of people

Brad Crowell 4:41  

Tons of decks. Lots of dogs. 

Lesley Logan 4:43  

Big thanks to our big headlining sponsor Balanced Body. We could not have made this tour as big without you. You probably saw our tour van if you are living in the state of California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Utah, and you saw what looks like the funnest van in the world. Hi, that was us.

Brad Crowell 5:02  

Yeah. And if you're wondering what we're talking about, just go to Leslie's Instagram account at Lesley.Logan, you'll see lots of pictures and video of it.

Lesley Logan 5:11  

Yeah. So we're back. 

Brad Crowell 5:12  

It was, it was awesome.

Lesley Logan 5:13  

I'm so excited. We were already in our bed, we sleep in the van, it's our bed, but we have a different bed at home. It's bigger. And I'm so excited for that. I'm also like, I do cold showers in the morning when I'm at home, and I could not do them on the tour. So I'm just grateful for my cold showers to wake me up and the wonderful normal dog walks that we do. It's just kind of nice when you know all the areas that you're doing.

Brad Crowell 5:35  

Good to be on a routine. 

Yeah, but we love the tour. We'll be back out on tour soon. In fact, I'm actually leaving in a few days to go to Poland, the ControlLogix Conference in Poland. (That's right.) So that's really exciting. And then when I come back from that we're actually doing Agency Mini number nine, which is our coaching group's seven-day program, you can actually sign up for it right now at profitablepilates.com/mini. That's profitable pilates dot com slash M-I-N-I. This is like a not to miss you guys. We only run it twice a year, we are tempted to only run it once a year. We don't know when that's going to happen. But I'm threatening you because it's something that's on our mind. We'd like to be transparent. I like to be honest. (Yeah) it is the last time we're running it this year. We probably won't run it again until February I think?

February, March. It's not really figured out yet. So roughly six months. 

Lesley Logan 6:22  

Um, so you want to do that if you are wanting to get any questions answered on your business around your service based business, whether you're running online or brick and mortar, y'all we help people make the money that they want to make. And it doesn't, it's not like we're all about whatever, like just making millions of dollars, we help you make the money you want to make. And one of the my favorite things I got a DM from our agency members been with us for years, she sent me a DM after biome was set. And she just said, I just wanted to reach out to you because I know you went through a lot, I want to let you know that it's because of you that I can provide for my family. I can take vacations when I want to take them with my family. And I can do that without worrying about my business. And I'm making the money I want to make. So that's because she did a mini and she trusted us about this for years. And she's wanted to have a home studio that would allow her to provide for her family and not work when they were off. So we did that for her, which is amazing. Okay, then well.

Brad Crowell 7:16  

And here's the deal. 

Lesley Logan 7:18  

What's the deal? 

Brad Crowell 7:19  

The deal is that this one is going to be one of our coolest ones yet. Each time we make an extra time we run mini we have a recap afterwards. And we just figure out like, how can we make it even better? And this time, we're doing some really cool stuff. And so actually, you can literally sign up today. So yeah, do go to profitablepilates.com/mini

Lesley Logan 7:43  

Yeah. And then, after mini is over, we hang out with our new members and our old members, and we have a lot of fun. And then we go to Cambodia. Yeah. And this is so excited. We're going to be Cambodia for a while, because we have our retreat. And then we have someone renting out our space to rent their retreat. So yeah, that is the coolest.

Brad Crowell 8:03  

Yeah. So you know, the dream when we decided to get our own place, you know, there in 2018. Geez, was that someday, it would just be a full-time retreat space. And obviously, we're not taking retreats every week. But we could open that place up and offer our program and let other people fill in the blanks with their teaching. And we're doing that finally. So this is a dream come true for us. We've been talking about this for a very long time. And basically, I'm just excited that it's beginning. If you've ever wanted to run a retreat, and you're trying to figure out where and how and all the logistics and all the complications. That's exactly what we figured out. So just reach out to us and we can have a conversation, maybe we can figure out how you could take your group to an amazing place that is fun, safe, beautiful. Just like it's a bucket list for everyone that I've ever talked to everyone goes holy cow, I'd love to go there. And you know, that's why we picked that spot. So yeah, anyway, if you're in Southeast Asia, it's like a month away at this point, or I guess it's the end of August. So you know, we're going the beginning of October for our group. And you know, you could still join us, there's still some room. Otherwise, get yourself on the waitlist. And we'll tell you about next year's retreat.

Lesley Logan 9:23  

Yeah. And then, and then we come back and then I go to Chicago and I'm teaching at a club place in Chicago with a request at this point (that's in November) it's in November at this point, you just have to DME if that's what you're interested in, because we don't actually have anything up at the time of this is dropping, but it will be spaced that's limited because we can only have so many people per workshop. It's my first time teaching Chicago in a year, but also my first time teaching in a Chicago studio. Not on a conference in like five years. So excited. And then December go on the winter tour. So everything we just did. We're doing it again in the winter and because Balanced Body is our sponsor, you can best believe it's going to be fucking huge.

Brad Crowell 10:04  

Yeah, it's gonna be a little more spread out just because it's like probably five to 6000 miles instead of three. And, you know, we're going to be doing the loop as y'all know. So, anyway.

Lesley Logan 10:17  

And actually, because our audience question has to do with the winter tour, we can just dive into it. 

Brad Crowell 10:22  

Yeah, let's just do that. 

Lesley Logan 10:23  

I have been getting a ton of DMS. And really this question is because I don't know how to answer it. So the questions I've been getting is people putting in the DMS their city, and then asking how to get their city on the winter tour on a tour. And so we have lots of people in Florida, which y'all you have to understand what that means. You're asking us to do, you're asking us to go from Philly and drive into Florida and do you know how long Florida is so long? We've done it before. But I'm not saying we won't do it. I'm just saying it's a lot. And so where what should people do, babe? If they want their city on a tour? Well, I say the winter tour because like if you could be on the winter tour, but you could be on next year summer tour. So like, where should people like submit their city for a tour? Stop?

Brad Crowell 11:12  

Yeah, I just wanted to say it's a 17-hour drive from Philly to Miami. 

Lesley Logan 11:17  

Yeah, we've done it. I remember I experienced it. 

Brad Crowell 11:20  

So here's, here's what you do. We have an amazing team, who has figured out a whole conversation that has been repeated a few times here. So if you're interested in being a host, you could be in Canada, you could be in United States, we're figuring out these roads, you know what this could look like in the future? Hell, maybe even Mexico? I don't know.

Lesley Logan 11:41  

Oh, my God. Well, I might be talking about that. Yes, I would love 

Brad Crowell 11:45  

Anyway, if you have a studio and you're interested in hosting, just chat to us go to opc.me/chat. And we will start the conversation with you and figure out you know, what makes sense when it might not be now it could be next year? It could be you know, whatever. I don't know, we haven't figured it out yet. But we are just taking note, if you want us to stop by.

Lesley Logan 12:06  

You should do it now because we actually are going to pick our winter tour cities in September. Because we have because we'll be in Cambodia in October. So put those in and and also just know that like you will be the host and you'll be promoting it and we will be helping you. So as much as we want to come to your space. If you also don't like to fill things then maybe submit someone else's space that you'll go to. I'm just being honest. But we're so it's just gonna be a ton of fun. 

It's gonna be amazing.

Brad Crowell 13:00  

Okay, now let's talk about Elle Russ. Bestselling author and renowned authority in thyroid health who's transformed her personal health struggles into a decade-long mission to support and educate others around the world. We are so excited to have brought Elle Russ back to the pod to talk about thyroid health, something that she's incredibly passionate about. 

Lesley Logan 14:31  

Yeah, she is and I when she and I first invited her on the podcast, I thought we could talk about both competence and thyroid health but no, we could not. And so I'm glad we did two separate episodes. And I am I'm actually having a lot of fun because at this point in Episode 254 We keep bringing different people back because there's like more conversations to have with some of those people and I just I love it because I can get deeper into it. Anyways, that was just side by side story. Okay, I actually really loved that she wrote about how thyroid issues are fixable and solvable because I I have met many people on my journey in life. And I even had a doctor who was worried about my thyroid, and they made it seem like that was not a death sentence that's so dramatic, but like, it's a period. Done. It's like a statue.

Brad Crowell 15:14  

It's like congratulations, you have it. And now you have to deal with it forever. 

Yeah. And I really loved that she has been on this mission. And she talked about that it's achievable for every single person's thyroid problem to like, solve this issue. And I think that's really amazing. I wish more doctors knew about that. And she said that there's two reasons you might be suffering. You're either dealing with an uninformed doctor Who doesn't know how to test that yet, or you're uninformed, and you don't know about your disease. And I think like, both of those can come off really strong. But what I what I do know even as a Pilates teacher who teaches Pilates like off like, just even though I'm just teaching Pilates, like there are uninformed teachers out there, and there are people who are uninformed about the movement and capabilities of our bodies, it's the same thing in this situation. And so what we have tried to do on this podcast is bring different people on who talk and advocate about, they promote how you should advocate for yourself. And I think part of being it till we see it is not just like, pushing and procrastinating our health issues, because they keep it keep us from showing up as our best versions of ourselves, and also advocating for a doctor who listens to us. And that those two things, you could actually have both of these things, you could be uninformed and be with the doctors uninformed.

Lesley Logan 16:29  

Yeah, I wanted to I had another comment. You know, I grew up with a dog who had thyroid problems, and I we need to give him medicine for like, every day for the rest of his life.

Brad Crowell 16:40  

From the age of six I just thought that like, once you had a thyroid problem, you were you always had a thyroid problem. That was it. And then my mom. She always had like low iron and stuff. And then later in life, she has hypo and hyperthyroidism. 

Lesley Logan 17:26  

She has both?

Brad Crowell 17:26  

She has both.

Lesley Logan 17:29  

How's that even possible? That's so crazy.

Brad Crowell 17:31  

I couldn't tell you, I don't really understand it. And I think that's exactly the problem, right? And from my perspective, then my mom is just going to have something she's gonna have to deal with this for the rest of her life. And so it's kind of amazing that, you know, she's suggesting that you can, these are solvable problems.

Lesley Logan 17:48  

Yeah. And I obviously like if you don't have a thyroid anymore, of course, you have something to deal with rest of your life. But if you have one, yeah, it can be surgically removed. And if you have one and you are struggling to keep things the way that makes you feel like the best version of yourself. What we are suggesting is that you go and get second opinions, get some help find people who are specialists in this who actually believe that there's another possibility. And I think that's really important. Like we didn't talk about this on Elle Russ podcast, but I remember many, many years ago, I was going through my own health stuff, listen to a couple different doctors. One was like the Plant Paradox. He wrote this book. He's a doctor, and he used food to heal people's heart conditions and things like that. And then the other one is Undoctored. And he wrote, I think he wrote brain, brain, brain, brain, brain brain. Anyways, probably green brain. And he also wrote the book Undoctored and he is a doctor who is like, key actually, the way I understand his story was a he was diagnosed with diabetes. And he's like, that's so crazy. I'm like, eating what the medical school taught me it was like nutrition, and there are 15 hours of nutrition that they taught me. And he had diabetes. And so he actually did some work. And he reversed his diabetes diagnosis, and the doctor's response was, oh, maybe it was a misdiagnosis. The doctor wasn't curious as to how he did it. And so you know.

Brad Crowell 19:13  

I think he wrote Wheat Belly.

Lesley Logan 19:15  

Wheat Belly. Sure. Super close. Great. 

Brad Crowell 19:18  

Super Gut. Wheat Belly. Undoctored.

Lesley Logan 19:20  

Yes, yes. 

Brad Crowell 19:21  

Rich food. Poor food. 

Lesley Logan 19:23  

Yes. 

Brad Crowell 19:23  

Nice. 

Lesley Logan 19:23  

So he, what is interesting about that situation is there in life people, there's every person and there are people in every profession who just like this is that this is the way things are, that's how it goes. And then there are people who are like, hold on, why is it like that. And there's curiosity. And then I like to teach the people who study with me is like to be curious, and I want to be with doctors who are curious. 

Brad Crowell 19:47  

Yeah, I like I had mixed emotions listening to this. You know, because I guess culturally and just in my own life we've been raised to trust our doctors, the doctor says a thing than we do the thing, you know. However, having gone through college with a guy who was studying medicine, and just kind of seeing it from that perspective, it made me realize that it's it's a, it's sometimes a process of elimination. It's sometimes, like, it's almost like its own art form. But you have to be incredibly informed, to be able to, you know, diagnose and certain people focus on different things, right? So there's just so fucking much that a doctor could learn about that if you go to someone who didn't really dig into whatever it is that you need to talk to them about. They may not be the correct person. And so they might just not know. Right? And I think that when you look at it, that way, you'll go find a doctor who specializes in the thing, so that you can talk to someone who is the most informed about it.

Lesley Logan 21:03  

And I just want to say this other thing, because I know that it can sound like I get a little harsh about doctors and, and also compelling elegance, little harsh about doctors. Yeah, I just heard an incredible podcast on New York Times, it was a Sunday read podcast, and it was about like dirty jobs. And like, as they call it, dirty jobs. Anyways, it was about, somebody had a segment where they would like talk about these, like, dangerous jobs that like, people were dying to do them. And somebody was, and he was doing, like, obviously, coal miners, and like, all these different things that like, probably most evil listeners would not sign up for. And someone reached out and said, hey, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but you should probably do a whole thing on doctors. And the author was like, Are you kidding? Who cares about them? They make a ton of money. They're like, they're, like, all the stuff that he's like, No, I think that if you do some research, you're gonna find this out. And the reality is, is that because of the way our especially in the US, so this is, if you're a listener in a different country, you might have a whole different experience when it comes to thyroid and medical stuff. And I would love to hear about that. But especially in the US, because hospitals are for profit, because insurance is for profit, and everybody is going over the bottom line. Doctors don't get the kid's been seven minutes with you. So it's not even that they're uninformed. Yeah, they might be just purely have no time. And then there's, they have all this pressure of going to hospital to do certain things in certain amounts of time. And everybody is stressed out. And really what's happened in the medical industry is like, actually, a lot of doctors have high suicide rate. Yeah, a lot of them have really high amounts of depression, which, you know, you would not think about these things. So listen to that podcast, because it gave me a little bit more of a perspective, like, holy fuck, they might be doing the best they can. And it's never going to be good enough, because the actual system doesn't allow them to have the time for it to be good enough. So a lot of doctors switch into taking no insurance and being paid cash. Yeah. But that's even exhausting, because you have to find people who can afford that. So it's just like, that's, that's if that make you feel happy. So, you know, I think it's like, we're in this system, where everybody is at a thing. And I just want to remind you, it is called a medical practice. And I think that even the medical world has forgotten that. It is a medical practice they're a doctor practicing medicine, just like you practice Pilates, no one is ever going, like, I just want to put that word finished. They're not finished. So

Brad Crowell 23:34  

And they shouldn't be finished. I think that I think that's one of the things that, that, you know, bringing this back to Elle, you know, she was talking about curiosity, and you just mentioned finding a doctor who is constantly staying informed, you know, because of a lack of time, because of the situations that they're in. You know, there's, it's really important that you and, you know, you and your doctor are both really digging into your specific, you know, what is happening in your body. And I think, you know, like, like, you know, just one more comment on this. And I think we can move on. From my perspective, having been around you, Lesley, and seeing the amazing I am, yes, the amazingness that you are and your beautiful hair. When you went to see some of the best doctors in the UCLA system. And they were like, I don't fucking know what's wrong with you. That was shocking to me. Like, what do you mean, you don't know what's wrong with her? How is that even possible? And they're like, maybe you have AIDS, and they sent you to a fucking weird ward. I mean, it was crazy. 

And you know what that doctor said to me? 

Why are you here? 

Lesley Logan 24:41  

She asked me, she said, I have two questions for you. Do you know why your doctor sent you here? And are you happy with that service? She she had a moment where she is a human being and she was like, I don't know why this patient is here and she asked me to stay which is so crazy to me. And I said, I'm not happy with my service. I don't know why I'm here. And she said, there's nothing wrong with you that I can help you with. Right. And that's when I went to a different I went to Chris Talley, who's not even a doctor. And he figured I was wrong me,

Brad Crowell 25:14  

I think he's a doctor. 

Lesley Logan 25:16  

Is he a doctor?

Brad Crowell 25:16  

Definitely a doctor. 

Lesley Logan 25:17  

Sorry, Chris. 

Brad Crowell 25:20  

But anyway, the point is that, you know, when you know, you, I think you shared in the, in the interview, you actually shared about your experience when we moved to Vegas, about a woman who just wrote off the things that you were asking her to do, and didn't acknowledge anything that you are discussing with her. And that sucks. And that's ridiculous. And if you end up finding yourself in a situation like that, this is where you can advocate for yourself, you need to advocate for yourself, and find a different doctor, find someone who will listen to you who can understand the situation, and then, you know, work with you on the thing, because it's a puzzle.

Lesley Logan 25:56  

I mean, you're totally you're, I think you're like leaning into your own favorite parts here, because it is a puzzle. And you have to advocate for yourself.

Brad Crowell 26:04  

And in order for you to do that. Just to finish up your point, you have to understand it yourself, too. Right. So I think that if you've been diagnosed with hyper, or hypo or whatever, thyroid, I don't even know all the things. It's important that you dig in yourself, right? And that's one thing that's so cool, is the reason that Elle Russ is so passionate is because she suffered for years. And she felt herself changed from like, intense athlete to bumping into shit. And she's like, what is happening to me, and then she just wasn't satisfied with the diagnosis. She got just like what, like, this doesn't make sense. And that sent her down this path, right. And now today, she's decided this is her mission is to really help people educate themselves. So she has this really nice course that you can go in the show notes and check it out. But moving into the thing that I love that she said is that it is super important for you as a patient to be proactive about your health, especially in advocating for correct tests. Okay. Now, this is really interesting to me, because I don't, I don't actually I'm not a I don't know this, I don't know anything about these specific tests. But But Elle listed these six tests, if you're, if you are suffering with thyroid issues, she said it says th t sh, a free T three a free T for a reverse T three, those are the main four. And then there was one called a T P O antibiotic antibody, and then a TG antibody. And the balance of the conversation after that was about the struggle to actually get the doctors to run these tests. Because they you know, what, what Elle has experienced with her clients is that they go in, they asked for these tests, and the doctor say I'm gonna run the tests, and then the results come back and they didn't fucking run the tests. 

Lesley Logan 27:49  

Well, because they ran just like one test, or they run a combine, they don't run them separately. And I actually sent her my most recent blood results, because I didn't have all these tests run. I wasn't really aware that a had thyroid thing, but I sent her what I had. And then I had another person look at them, plus my own doctor who I love and trust. And all of them agreed upon the same thing. So like everything is good with my thyroid. But it's, that's what second opinions are for.

Brad Crowell 28:15  

Yeah, so it's important to get a second opinion. And also she even said something that was kind of off the cuff. And it wasn't really discussed. She said, if you're familiar with what a phlebotomist is, a phlebotomist is the person drawing your blood. So she actually said, ask your doctor for these things. And she clearly has a distrust for doctors. So she said, then when before the phlebotomist even sticks the needle in your arm, ask him if these tests are available to be to be run on your blood from this place. And if they say no, then don't even get your blood drawn. And I thought that's interesting, right? Because the phlebotomist is probably more junior, they're newer to the team. They you know, and whatever. So they're not going they also will be able to give you a lot more of their time, to be honest. Yeah. Typically,

Lesley Logan 29:03  

When we work with Chris Talley, the phlebotomist came to my house.

Brad Crowell 29:07  

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I thought that was really interesting, you know, and she said that sometimes the doctors just think that you're, you know, an ignoramus. And they're like, I know better. And I'm not gonna run the test you just asked me to do, she's talking about other times where they actually put it down, but then it just doesn't happen.

Lesley Logan 29:25  

You know, here's the thing, like, remember that going back to the doctor who I asked these tests for, and she was like, just like blew me off was like, hormones change throughout the day. So it's not even going to matter. Like, it's not going to give us anything. Well, my doctor ran my hormones. And then she asked me, what part of your cycle were you on when this was run? And I could tell her what day of my cycle I was on, and she could look at the test, knowing what part of my cycle is on and go and say, okay, these numbers make sense based on that there are doctors out there who can do this. Yeah, it just requires it's exhausting because we have so much to do. And I know because I had like, a member, an agency who like was hoping the lawyer would just do the thing. And she's like, I don't know, I don't know. It's like, everything is a collaboration, whether you're working with your doctor, whether you're working with a pilates instructor, whether with a business coach or even a lawyer. You can't just assume they know best. You know your body best so you have got to advocate for yourself. And then you have to ask them. Can you explain why this is happening? Well, can you explain why we're doing this? Can you answer this? They have, when they're in the room with you, they cannot leave until you're done. If they say do you have any questions, and you ask questions, they can't walk away from you. (Right.) So it is okay. And ladies, especially, especially all of you, you must be okay, asking those questions, because I know I'm not. I know I'm like, I don't want to take up your time. I don't want to waste your time. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to be rude. No, it's your fucking body. Your fucking life.

Brad Crowell 30:50  

I ask all the questions. This fucking guy.

Lesley Logan 30:53  

Yeah, he does. He's in there for half an hour. Anyway. Be like Brad.

Brad Crowell 30:57  

Yeah. All right, be like Brad.

All right. Finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your combo with Elle Russ. She said spread the word. You know, when you heal from something like she has, you know, or you gain some knowledge about something that's impacted you. It's important to actually talk about it and share that with other people. Help someone who's suffering with that same thing. And obviously, you're not, you know, a doctor or someone who has spent years studying the thing. And that's okay, so do your best. Point them in the right direction. And she said you don't have to coach everyone, but you can help people out.

Lesley Logan 31:57  

August agrees that was that shake in the background? What about you? Um, she said perseverance pays. And I couldn't agree more. It means never give up. If there's something wrong with your health, you do not stop until you have felt you have a satisfying answer. Unfortunately, some things take us years to even understand that it's going wrong. 

Brad Crowell 32:15  

I mean, some things are your road has has been more than 10 years now. 

Lesley Logan 32:20  

Yep, yep. And I mean, at least I'm not in pain every day, and at least I'm not forgetting things anymore. And I'm not walking into walls. And but that's amazing. 

Brad Crowell 32:30  

And you're sleeping.

Lesley Logan 32:31  

I am sleeping. I actually sleep more than I sleep six hours a day, I'm trying to get up to seven and a half without waking up in the middle of it. We're working on it. We got to six though, so that's great. But it's whatever glad you hear probably didn't happen overnight. It's probably years of in the making. And so you have to also understand that the fix is probably not gonna be overnight, right? But you should feel like your people on your team are listening to you. And so you keep going until you find people on your team who will listen to you. You owe it to yourself, you owe it to the people who are in your life, you owe it to your family, I don't care if you have no kids and no partner. You owe it to all those people who love you. Because you are the only person to do what you do the way you do it. So anyways, I that's that's her Be It actually, that I love, and I couldn't agree more.

I'm Lesley Logan. 

Brad Crowell 33:21  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 33:22  

Thank you so much for joining us today. I really hope this helps you. I know this is like sometimes people think we only talk about goals here. Nope. Sometimes I talk about health, sometimes a specific part of our health. And it's because I really believe that being it till you see it is the best way to do anything in this life. And you cannot do that if your health is not up to par If your health can't get you there. So let us know how this helped. Send it to a friend. And until next time. Be it till you see it. Bye for now.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help

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 I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear

 it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a

 production of The Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell 34:22  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 34:27  

It is produced, edited by the Epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell 34:31  

Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist

 Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 34:38  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our

 transcriptions.

Brad Crowell 34:43  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell

 for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai