Becoming Whole

When we are pursuing sexual integrity, we all experience this mental combat between sexual sin and our desire for sexual integrity. 

It’s not just an experience we have in our thought life alone.

We feel it in our bodies when they become aroused by things we see, the thoughts we have, and by the longings we have.

One of the ways we try to combat and move away from our sexual orientations is by thinking about good things.

And so we take our sexually sinful thoughts, we try to train them out for pure thoughts, good thoughts, thoughts about beauty, thoughts about truth. But I think a lot of us when we do that, we forget that there are good, pure, true thoughts about sex.

And so we go from thinking sexual thoughts that are sinful to thinking about anything else besides sex.

We try to get our thoughts in other places. And that’s good, because sex is not everything in life. But there’s so much good about God’s design for sex, that can actually help us to grow in sexual integrity. And so as we think and allow our minds to be transformed by God’s good, true Holy design, beautiful design for sexuality, you can actually ramp up our journey towards sexual integrity.

But, what do we mean?

Like, what does the sexual relationship between husband and wife in a lifelong loving marriage convey about the image of God?

How does the wife convey God’s image? How does the husband convey God’s image? What can we find about his beauty, his goodness there?

Let’s answer these questions together today in this podcast.

Outline: 

• The battle between sexual sin and desire for sexual integrity.
• There is so much good about god’s design for sex.
• How to define sexual integrity?
• Why did you choose for sex to be like this?
• A picture of god’s heart for us.
• Our bodies tell god’s story.
• The mystery of God’s heart conveyed through sex.

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2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

In today's podcast, I have three simple mental shifts for you. These three simple changes you can make will help you in your journey toward sexual integrity. It is my aim that these small mental adjustments will help you see how you should approach your journey for sexual integrity in a fresh light.

Mental Shifts
1. From this as an opportunity to sin to this as an opportunity to grow.

2. Every time you hear the word I or me in your thoughts, shift to asking the question, “Is it really me talking or the enemy?”

3. Recognize when you're thinking about temptation, that you are really thinking about people.

Outline:

• Simple mental shifts to help with sexual integrity.
• Shifting from opportunity to sin to opportunity to grow. 
• Simple mental shift number 2.
• The malevolent voice in your head. 
• Mental shift number three.
• Mental shifts to overcome temptation. 

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• Support the show.
• Help us improve the show.
• Leave a review.
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2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Have you ever wanted to stop something so badly, yet couldn’t figure out how to stop. Or even why? Have you tried to stop lusting?

In this weeks podcast, just speaks to the importance of learning to love in recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, rather than just focusing on stopping the behavior.

Key takeaways:

1. The goal of recovery should be to learn to love in a self-giving way, rather than just stopping the unwanted behavior.
2. God’s mercy flows to the lowest places, and His grace is for those places. He is there right alongside us in those place. Let Him in.

Counter arguments:

1. It may feel wrong to receive God’s mercy in places where we feel like we know better and keep doing it anyway.
2. It may be difficult to open up those places to another person and ask for their help. When you are able to though, Regeneration is here. 

Resources:

The Definition of Lust

How to Stop Lusting in One Step

Outline:

• The problem with trying to stop certain behaviors.
• A better goal than stopping your lust.
• We need to first be loved by god.
• Consider for yourself how not receiving God’s love works for you.
• Forgiveness cannot be earned.
• How can we experience God’s love in the face of sexual sin?
• Use your imagination open your mind.
• The first step to love like god.

Help the show:

• Support the show.
• Help us improve the show.
• Leave a review.
• Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
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Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Living in a digital age, we are faced with the reality that we have tough competition. That the internet is competing for our attention, our affection, for our questions, and our devotion.

Today we will talk about this competition and what it provides; especially in the area of sexual integrity. 

Whether it's a struggle with pornography, or looking for hookups. So often, we are turning to our devices for things that are really, really good. And our devices offer pretty tough competition. 

So let me just give you five examples.

• The Internet provides all the things your looking for
• The internet never shames you
• The Internet never makes you feel like an outsider
• The Internet rewards curiosity.
• The Internet is always available

But does it really, are these statements true? Join us today as we expose the online god and reveal what it actually does for us and to us.

Discover the truth of what we are really looking for and how to find it.

Resources:

Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for Parents

Outline:

• The tough competition of the internet.
• The internet never shames you. 
• Why the internet is always available.
• The internet never shames but it always shames.
• Has the internet ever invited you to look deeper?
• The internet is always available to you.
• Jesus has everything you're looking for.
• God rewards curiosity and always available. 

Help the show:

• Support the show
• Ask a question by emailing us
• Leave a review
• Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
• Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

To start I want to let you know this podcast will be a little different. One that I hope will be helpful for you.

I am going to talk about the difference between arousal and desire.

The reason that’s so important for us to recognize is that when we feel arousal towards something that we know we don’t want, it can produce an amount of shame for us.

If you’re pursuing sexual integrity, if you’re trying to walk away from unwanted sexual behaviors, the fact that those behaviors are unwanted means you desire something more for yourself, your family and for your life than the sexual sin that’s entangled you.

Today is not going to be very prescriptive in the sense of offering you three steps to this or that. But I'd like to share with you what happened to me recently and how I dealt with it in the hopes that it will be useful for you and help you see things that you might want to do differently.

Outline:

• The difference between arousal and desire. 
• I want people to be free from pornography. 
• Slow down your thinking and not rush. 
• Breathing deep breaths. 
• The importance of picturing Jesus in different scenes. 
• Fleeing sexual temptation.

Help the show:

• Support the show
• Ask a question by emailing us
• Leave a review
• Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
• Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

In today’s podcast, I’m going to be answering a question that was emailed to us. Is it okay for a man to masturbate while fantasizing about his wife?

We encourage you to send us your questions, as I really love to answer some of the things that you all are experiencing and facing.

So the question I got this week was from a guy who's involved in an accountability group. The guys in the group are making good progress.

They're leaving their unwanted sexual behaviors behind, including masturbation and fantasy, but one of the questions that's come up in the group is, “Is it okay for a man to masturbate while fantasizing about his wife?” Is it okay for a man to fantasize or a woman to fantasize?

If the man is fantasizing about his wife, if the woman is fantasizing about her husband?

There's actually a lot in that question.

So I want to address this question by asking two questions:

•     What does scripture say?
•     What is helpful?

Join us today, as I believe this will bring clarity, wisdom and healing on our journey towards sexual integrity.

Outline:

•     Introduction to this episode. 
•     What does scripture say about masturbation? 
•     God’s design for marriage. 
•     Scripture on masturbation and sexual integrity. 
•     It’s not a landing spot. 
•     Are you really being faithful to your spouse? 
•     Lift up your eyes to the greater calling. 

What's next: 

Start Here for Men

Start Here for Women

Help the show:

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• Ask a question by emailing us
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• Follow us on YouTube for behind-the-scenes and more.

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

How free can you be? How free? Can you be?

In some version or another, this is a question that we get a lot, especially for people who are just starting their journey towards sexual integrity.

They've wrestled with their specific attractions and temptations and are wondering, is this going to be a part of my life forever? Can I actually be free? Can real change happen for me?

Can I Really Change!?!

In some ways, they're asking three different questions.

• How much change is possible for me?
• How much change can I expect; specifically? And that's a slightly different question.
• Has God actually promised me change?

So there's three different kinds of versions of the same question of can I ever really be free?

And the answer is yes, yes you can be free!

Join me in this episode as we walk through those three questions as I answer both from my experience in 20 years in this ministry and in God’s Word.

Outline:

• How free can you be in sexual integrity?
• Can I ever really be free?
• All things are possible according to scripture.
• What we can't promise you.
• How to be conformed to the image of Christ.
• Sanctification and salvation happens by God’s grace.
• We all want to get back to Eden.
• Learning to open your desires.
• What is possible in this life?

Help the show:

• Support the show
• Ask a question by emailing us
• Leave a review
• Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
• Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

In Genesis when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and there was a
delight to the eyes, and the tree was to be desired to make one wise she took of its fruit and ate.

What did she see?

The enemy when he tempts us wants us to see something. But the truth is, what he wants us to see is not reality.

She saw something that wasn’t actually there. And the enemy does the same thing to us.

He gets us pointed at pornography, at an extramarital relationship, masturbation, fantasy, a hookup, or a same sex relationship.

And he tells us all that will be there for us and all that it’s going to do for us. And it feels on some level like it will. And it never does.

Join us as we talk about the power of our imagination and how to take hold of it for His glory.

Outline:

• Your imagination is a part of the struggle you have with sexual sin.
• What the enemy wants us to see is not reality.
• Your imagination is important to your journey of obedience to God.
• The enemy wants to hijack the gift of our imagination and use it for his purposes.
• How do we renew our minds? How do we think about the truth?
• What is a tempting thought? How do we take it captive?
• The enemy’s got a hold of my imagination.
• The enemy is using your imagination to draw your attention to a smaller vision.
• What is faith? It’s the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Help the show:

• Support the show
• Ask a question by emailing us
• Leave a review
• Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
• Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

At the core of every sexual integrity problem is relational brokenness.

Because God created sex to be relational, it is relational down to its core. And so if you are dealing with a sexual issue, you are dealing with a relational issue.

What is a partner or group for accountability?

It's a certain kind of connection. As a result, if you have a relational brokenness in your life, you may have similar relational issues.

Could they prevent you from achieving the level of sexual integrity you desire?

Listen in as we identify some of those tendencies and those broken relationship pieces.

Also a few ideas about how you can even beginning today, improve your accountability relationships.

Outline:

•  Do you have an accountability partner? 
•  We are human beings, not human doings. 
•  The tendency to avoid pain. 
•  Don’t focus on behavior and focus on sin. 
•  Let’s bring kindness. 
•  How to be with someone in their pain? 
• What do you want to do differently?

Help the show:

• Support the show
• Ask a question by emailing us
• Leave a review
• Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
• Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

If you are wrestling with unwanted sexual behaviors or recurring sexual behaviors, and want to get free, you have to know the why behind the what? What is the why, behind your specific what?

So for example, if you struggle with pornography, and you're typically looking for a certain kind or genre, types of people, gender, or specific sexual acts in the pornography? What's the why behind those specifics that you're looking for? Or if you're acting out with other people physically, and you're typically doing certain behaviors, or looking for certain types of people, what's the why behind the specific kinds of people or activities you're, you're typically drawn to.

You can't stop the behaviors by just knowing the what. If I know that I'm typically looking at pornography, I can get filters on my computer, I can set up accountability software, I can get rid of my smartphone and have a dumb phone. If I know I'm acting out with people through this app, I can get rid of the app.

There is merit in that, you should do that. But when you get to the why underneath it, you can actually get to the heart issue.

Today we will address  Symbolism and Emotional and mental imprints that cause our sexual actions. As well as answer these questions.

• What triggers sexual desire and attraction?
• How to deal with sexual temptation?
• How can I untwist my emotional and mental imprint?

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer

Help the show:

• Support the show
• Ask a question by emailing us
• Leave a review
• Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
• Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

Talk To US

2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!

Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17th

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)