Becoming You

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I talk about something that a lot of people—including myself—tend to struggle with: that fear of missing out, and maybe even that twinge of jealousy, we feel whenever we see our friends posting photos of themselves hanging out at some tropical paradise, getting promoted at work, growing their business, or basically winning in life in some way while we’re being “left behind”.

Main Topics Discussed:

• Why the first step to overcoming this fear is to embrace it
• Uncovering deep-seated beliefs of unworthiness and being loved
• How to have difficult conversations to rekindle your close friendships
• Finding a set of friends who accept the true you



Learn more about me and my coaching services:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

If you missed it, check out my FREE 4 day Self Love Mini Course HERE

Sign up for FREE live breathwork sessions here

Set up a free consultation call to work with me privately here

Send me a DM on Instagram HERE

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I share seven unusual pieces of advice that I wish I knew back in university that have totally transformed my life for the better.

#1 It is okay to quit.

I’m not telling you to quit anything as soon as it feels hard.

This lesson highlights the fact that many of us are taught that quitting is a sign of weakness. Because of that, a lot of people stick to things that make their lives miserable just because they were told that quitting should never be an option.

How many of us have stuck to relationships that don’t serve us? How many of us have kept a job we hate just because it pays the bills? How many of us have stuck to reading a book we didn’t enjoy because we thought it would be a waste or a sign of laziness to not finish what we started?

It’s okay to quit, with one caveat: What you are currently doing is not aligned with what you truly desire.

#2 Do not believe every thought you have…

…especially the ones that make you feel terrible.

“This makes me look ugly/fat.”

“I’m never going to get good at this.”

“I’ll never be successful.”

“I’ll never be as good as him/her.”

“I’m never going to find somebody who loves me the way I deserve to be loved.”

These thoughts and more make us feel like absolute shit. I implore you: Don’t believe any of them!

#3 Failure does not mean you are doing it wrong.

We, in our humanness, try to make failure out to be worse than it really is. In fact, failure is neither good nor bad. What counts is how we see it.

If you want to see more growth and success in your life, keep this in mind: Failure is nothing more than an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.

#4 It is not your job to make others feel comfortable.

Most of us are people-pleasers, and we hate feeling that we are the cause of someone’s upset.

This is actually an egotistical trait rather than an unselfish one. This belief is more about making you feel good than making sure others don’t feel bad.

#5 How you breathe is how you do life.

My life has completely changed since I started doing breathwork. It has literally changed me from the inside-out.

Let me tell you that the quality of your breath is reflective of the quality of your life. If life feels overwhelming and constantly stressful, or you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, your breath is most likely often shallow and rapid. You’re not taking in enough oxygen to fuel your life.

On the flip side, if you’re more trusting of life, if you are relaxed and at peace with yourself, and you have let go of past traumas, your breathing is probably deeper. In times of conflict or crisis, your breath will remain steady.

#6 It is not your parents’ or your partner’s job to make you happy.

This is super freeing because you stop waiting for others to save you by waving a magic wand to make you happy.

As adults, how would others, even those closest to us, truly know what will make us happy? Sometimes, even we don’t know what will make us happy!

Don’t wait on anybody. Don’t rely on anybody. The work lies with you and you alone.

What do you need to feel joy in your life? What do you need to feel safe and secure?

#7 It is okay to find things challenging.

Finding something hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or that you’re not good enough or that it’s time to quit.

Challenging means you’re changing.

True fulfillment doesn’t come from the successful result as much as it does from overcoming the challenges that preceded that success.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Join me for my new program Crush Your Inner Critic here

If you missed it, check out my FREE 4 day Self Love Mini Course HERE

Sign up for FREE live breathwork sessions here

Set up a free consultation call to work with me privately here

Send me a DM on Instagram HERE

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss that all-too common feeling of being “stuck” in life.

You know you’re in this state of being if every day feels like Groundhog Day. Even if you’re technically engaged in different activities day by day, you tend to simply go through the motions, and there is no excitement. It’s as if you’re on a hamster wheel.

There is no meaning or substance to any of it. You may be lacking a sense of purpose as you go about life.

Unfortunately, the human brain is not propelled to take action until we hit bottom—and sometimes even then, we struggle to make a change.

Here are six reasons you may be feeling stuck in life and what you can do to escape this vicious cycle.

#1 You do not have a true connection to yourself.

Many of us have been thought to never question authority.

When the option to question the status quo and make decisions for ourselves has been beaten out of us (unfortunately, often literally by our parents or teachers), we lose that vital connection with ourselves as individuals.

Instead, we’ve built an identity that we believe is suitable only in the eyes of others. We are an amalgamation of how others think we ought to be.

#2 You become a people pleaser.

You’ve learned to only present a version of yourself to others that you think they appreciate.

One thing’s true: Whatever that version of you that you present is never who you really are underneath the facade.

While there’s nothing wrong with wanting your parents, spouse, children, friends, boss, and co-workers to like you, you will burn yourself out trying to mold yourself to their differing expectations day after day.

#3 You have been a rule-follower all your life.

You haven’t lived based on choices you made intentionally, but based on other people’s formula for life.

It’s time to rediscover the things that bring us joy, to tap into our natural gifts and talents, to serve ourselves so that we can better serve others.

#4 You continue to swallow your opinions, thoughts, needs, and desires.

Why shouldn’t you be the priority? Why shouldn’t you be loud? Why shouldn’t you be opinionated? Why shouldn’t you dare to be messy?

By trying to be “pleasing” to others constantly, we become less of ourselves every day.

Your self-worth should never be measured according to how pleasing you are to others.

Fulfillment is when your cup is overflowing. Fulfillment is when you are being yourself totally and unashamedly.

#5 You have never given yourself permission to feel your true feelings.

Allow yourself to go to the lowest of lows just as you are willing to go to the highest of highs. Every emotion is valid.

We suppress the heavy emotions because, first of all, we lack the tools to make something positive out of them; but also, we fear upsetting those around us.

Every emotion is a wonderful gift. By shutting ourselves off, we shut out a huge component of what makes life meaningful.

We are feeling beings, not doing beings.

#6 Deep down, you want to stand out, but we don’t let our light shine, nor do we speak our truth.

By lowering your voice, you dim your light.

We’re all here to shine our light, and when you shine your light, you do not diminish the other person’s light.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Join me for my new program Crush Your Inner Critic here

If you missed it, check out my FREE 4 day Self Love Mini Course HERE

Sign up for FREE live breathwork sessions here

Set up a free consultation call to work with me privately here

Send me a DM on Instagram HERE

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss eight ways to determine whether your mind or your soul is speaking to you.

What exactly is your “soul”?

First thing’s first: What is the “soul”?

To me, it is your direct connection to the divine, whether you call it God or the Universe. You can also call it your inner wisdom—the part of us that is always loving, accepting, and nonjudgmental in all its ways.

Here are eight possible reasons why:

#1 You may not even be aware that your soul is speaking to you.

Up until around six years ago, I wasn’t even aware that our own soul can communicate with us.

This is the first step: acknowledging the reality that our soul speaks to us every single day. We simply need to quiet ourselves and sit in silence, and listen intently, and even feel through our bodies the sensation of our soul reaching out to us.

#2 When your soul speaks, it’s a frequency that you’re not tuned into yet.

Like radio, we need to tune into the channel we wish to listen to.

By default, we tune into our monkey mind, our inner critic, our judgmental self. Most of us grow up not knowing how to tune into our soul frequency.

There’s a reason we tend to hear our souls at its loudest when we wake up or are about to fall asleep. That’s because our mind is lucid at these times.

#3 You live in constant fear.

I used to worry all the time about everything. Living in constant fear is very much a human thing.

Almost all of us live through a period where everything in life feels scary, harsh, or lacking. You might be living in constant fear for your financial situation, your marital situation, or your career situation.

#4 You are disconnected from the present moment.

As an extension of point number three, fear traps us either in the past or the future, but never the present. We worry about what was done or what will be, but never what is now.

The soul is always right here, right now, in the present moment.

#5 You spend way too much time doing and not enough time being.

Don’t feel guilty when you’re not being “productive”, slowing down, or resting and relaxing.

In fact, those are the exact moments your soul drops in and tells you exactly what you need to hear.

#6: You don’t act on your soul guidance.

Ever had a friend who asked for your advice, but never follows through on it, yet continually goes back to you complaining about that situation they just can’t seem to resolve?

It gets tiring to counsel them after some time, doesn’t it? Particularly when they just can’t seem to take action on the advice you give them.

#7 You don’t love, accept, nor trust yourself.

Stop looking for external ways to build that love, acceptance, and trust. That is always a futile way to live.

#8 You live life at warp speed.

Slowing down is not for the weak.

In fact, your soul has no concept of time.

When you trust life, and believe that everything you need always comes just in time, all that anxiety about slowing down dissipates.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Join me for my new program Crush Your Inner Critic here

If you missed it, check out my FREE 4 day Self Love Mini Course HERE

Sign up for FREE live breathwork sessions here

Set up a free consultation call to work with me privately here

Send me a DM on Instagram HERE

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss nine important truths about your inner critic so that you can learn to keep it at bay!

#1: Your inner critic is there to protect you.

My inner critic has been a huge part of my life and it continues to be so, because I grew up believing that I had to listen to my inner critic.

#2 The job of the inner critic is to control you.

Most of the pain and heartbreak we experience in our life, especially when we were younger, was out of our control.

Similar to point number one, your inner critic was formed to help you gain control over your life. And as it is with every aspect of your inner critic, this can be a good or a bad thing depending on the situation.

Many times, your inner critic whispers things in your mind:

“Don't hope for that. You can't do that. Who do you think you are? What are people gonna think of you?”

The inner critic is there to control your actions so that you don't put yourself out there at risk of being hurt.

#3 Your inner critic tries to predict the future based on your past.

The inner critic does not like unpredictability. It doesn't like things that have never been tried before.

It says, “I told you so,” when we fail at trying something new. It’s trying to prevent future outcomes based on your past experiences.

#4 Your inner critic masks the truth of who you are.

Our inner critic makes us believe that we are incapable, unworthy, not deserving, lazy, unproductive, and a procrastinator.

Yes, we may very well be struggling to overcome some (or all!) of these flaws, but our inner critic conflates these flaws with our entire identity, pushing our strengths aside into a corner away from our attention. Thus, we focus solely on the negatives.

#5 Your inner critic has a habitual way of thinking.

In every possible way, old habits die hard. Rewiring our minds is one of the most difficult tasks we can do as human beings.

And our inner critic is a large reason for this. Again, it hates predictability.

#6 Your inner critic’s voice is learned.

You were not born into this world with your inner critic’s voice.

It is made up of layers and layers of conditioning that we need to unwind, that we need to unravel. And as you learn to loosen the grip that it has on you—the unconditioned you: the you that has not been trained to berate yourself, to judge yourself, to criticize yourself—then the unconditional version of you starts to shine through.

#7: The inner critic’s voice is not actually your voice at all.

Rather, it is the collective voice of the people that you have heard throughout your life that have pained you in some way. You take what they say and form your own beliefs based on that.

Your inner critic forms the framework for how you “ought” to show up in the world.

#8 Your self-critical thoughts create separation between you and the rest of the world.

How often does your self-talk make you feel like you are broken, that you should be ashamed of yourself, that you ought to like that you're alone, that you're unworthy, that something is seriously wrong with you?

Your inner critic leads you to believe that you are the only one going through hell.

#9 Love heals.

The inner critic was built on the illusion that you are lacking, that you are unworthy, that you are insufficient, that you are inadequate.

Love is the medicine for all that and more.

We need to learn to accept ourselves the way we are. We need to learn to accept that we do have the power to change our situation and our pain.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Join me for my new program Crush Your Inner Critic here

If you missed it, check out my FREE 4 day Self Love Mini Course HERE

Sign up for FREE live breathwork sessions here

Set up a free consultation call to work with me privately here

Send me a DM on Instagram HERE

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss all things routines—when to start one, when to let go of one, and when to change things up with your existing routine.

When I first started on my personal development journey, I thought that having a routine was the end-all, be-all of success. I thought that sticking to the six-step Miracle Morning routine, for example, for half a year would permanently change the trajectory of my life in a positive way, and that was that.

But what I found instead was, I’d start routines and fall off the wagon after a few weeks. Then I’d become overwhelmed with feelings of shame and guilt, telling myself that, “I just can’t stick to my commitments. This is why my life sucks!”

Sound familiar?

Now, routines are wonderful if you’re trying to start a new habit or making small tweaks in your life; but, when you start giving yourself a hard time for failing to stick to your routine perfectly, know that it’s not you that’s broken—that specific routine just isn’t right for you.

Routines, in themselves, don’t hold some sort of secret, magical power to transform your life. They simply facilitate the decision you made to change. It’s a vehicle. In other words, routines help you build belief in yourself: It’s the bridge between lack-of-belief to self-belief.

Also understand that a routine that works for one person won’t necessarily work for you. Just because the routine came from a famous self-help guru who wrote about it in a bestselling book doesn’t mean the routine works universally. None do.

Part of the journey of success involves experimentation and finding that routine (or handful of routines) that fits your personality, lifestyle, and goals.

Don’t choose a routine from a place of fear, that not adhering to it means you are inadequate. Rather, when approaching a new routine, do so with the knowledge that the right routine will bring you closer to your truest self or, simply, make you a better person than you were yesterday.

You know you’ve chosen the right routine if going through it makes you feel productive at the end of the day.

Use routines as vehicles to make life more enjoyable.

I play the piano every day to get better at it. Ultimately, though, I practice everyday because I want to do it and not because I should do it.

Routines should give you a feeling of control and predictability in your life, to the point where you don’t even have to think about doing them—your routines become as much of a no-brainer as taking a bath or brushing your teeth.

Always ask yourself: “Is this routine bringing me closer to my goal? Does it make me happy, productive, and in control?”

If so, you may have just found your perfect routine.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Join me for my new program Crush Your Inner Critic here

If you missed it, check out my FREE 4 day Self Love Mini Course HERE

Sign up for FREE live breathwork sessions here

Set up a free consultation call to work with me privately here

Send me a DM on Instagram HERE

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I share a story about a trip that I recently took on how everything can go wrong… and yet work out exactly as it is meant to, anyway.

My business coach offers a twice-a-year retreat for all her clients. This one happened to be in Asheville, North Carolina. I rented a car in advance which I would use to drive an hour and 45 minutes to this house rented for the retreat. I woke up at 5:00 A.M. on Monday morning, ready for my 8:00 A.M. flight.

 Manifestation at work!

“I can't get you on today,” says the voice on the other side. “All the flights are booked.” And I was like, “I see a flight that's getting into Asheville.” She responds, “Well, if I just get you on that flight, you're just going to get bumped off.”

As you can imagine, this was a nightmare situation. I had to keep realigning myself to center and grounding myself, too, telling myself over and over again:

This is happening. I'm getting to Asheville. This is happening. I don’t know how, but this is happening.

And wouldn’t you know it? The lady on the other end found a seat that opened up for a new flight just as I forced myself to shift from panic to hope. The flight was to leave at 9:30 A.M. that same day. Remember, it’s around 5:45 A.M. at this point.

So, we booked the flight and now we get to another issue: my rental car. It's in a different area. And I don't know how I'm going to make my ride from Asheville airport to the house. And because I was ridesharing, I was supposed to be picking another person from the original airport, Greenville, South Carolina, to go to the retreat.

I felt really selfish booking the ticket to Ashville because this woman was expecting me to get a rental and pick her up. But I trusted. I told myself that this is the only doorway that's open for me right now to make it to this retreat. So I'm going to take it and then I'm going to figure it out.

I promptly called up the car rental company, heard from an actual human being (another miracle!) and changed my name on the rental to that of the lady I was supposed to pick up. Another problem solved!

The rest of the trip was no easier. I experienced delay after delay, including five different gate changes at the airport, a flight attendant who wasn’t showing up, and a call for six volunteers to not board the flight because we were overbooked.

Again, I told myself, at each of these setbacks, that I am going to get to Asheville. Our minds are programmed to focus on the negative—on the worst-case scenario.

We are wired to focus on the danger of things not going right. It’s our job to train our mind to focus on the positive, instead.

All in all, despite all the cancellations and the upheavals of the beginning of my trip, it actually all worked out way better because I was able to connect to these two women that gave me a ride to the retreat.

So, in the end, I benefited more from my adventure than I initially imagined I would.

What’s the key to turning things around—to thrive in spite of all the chaos and adversity around you?

It’s simple. Not easy, but simple: Decide that things get to happen for you. And know that the things that end up happening are neither “good” nor “bad”, but are simply opportunities for growth. Realize that everything that transpires is for the highest good for everybody involved.

It may not work out the way you wanted it to… but it will work out the way it was meant to.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Join me for my new program Crush Your Inner Critic here

If you missed it, check out my FREE 4 day Self Love Mini Course HERE

Sign up for FREE live breathwork sessions here

Set up a free consultation call to work with me privately here

Send me a DM on Instagram HERE

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I list the ten types of people you need in your life!

But before we hop into it, let’s discuss who you don’t need in your life.

It’s pretty simple: If they’re negative Nancys, habitual doubters, perpetual naysayers, and shamelessly judgemental—in other words, if being around these people sucks the energy out of you, it is time to lovingly cut them out of your life.

It goes without saying that the types of people you surround yourself with are so essential to how you live your own life.

With this foundation laid, let’s talk about the ten types of people you need to bring into your life!

#1: Space Holders

This is the type of person with whom you can be totally, unashamedly yourself around when you’re at your lowest points.

They “hold space” for you; that is, they create an environment in which you can express yourself authentically, and they will not want to fix your problem or judge what you’re going through.

#2: Expanders

An expander is someone who inspires you to become a better person than you were yesterday. They show you what is possible.

You’ll probably need different expanders for different facets of your life. You may have one for your health and fitness goals, another for your finances, and yet another for business.

#3: Believers

We’ve all had those moments when we lose belief in ourselves, whether regarding a particular goal, our career, our role as a parent or partner, or even life overall.

Because losing belief in ourselves at one point or another is a universal experience, it’s vital to have someone by your side who continues to believe in you regardless, who sees your strengths even when you don’t in that moment.

#4: Healers

From doctors to psychics to therapists to masseuses to Reiki practitioners, it’s so essential to have a crew of healers.

Ultimately, we are here to do the work of healing. I believe that the human experience is all about learning to love and to heal. That’s it.

#5: Supporters

This is the type of person that cheers you on endlessly and celebrates the heck out of you without any jealousy, comparison, or resentment.

#6: Coaches

A great coach challenges you to go beyond the edge of your perceived limits in whatever they’re coaching you on.

They call you out on your B.S. and they reflect back to you all the ways you play small in life.

#7: Energizers

The polar opposite of Debbie Downers or energy vampires, energizers have that contagious quality about them where you find yourself with a spring in your step after you part ways.

When you hang out with an energizer, you have a lot of fun, they make you laugh, and you simply feel better just because of who they are.

#8: Spiritualists

This is the type of person that expands your beingness by showing you that you are a part of something bigger than this world.

This is someone who believes in the metaphysical and unseen forces of nature. They’re really tapped into the higher consciousness of life.

#9: Adventurers

The adventurer always puts themselves out there to try something new. They’re incredibly spontaneous and courageous.

Like energizers, these are all qualities that rub off and inspire us to become better than we are and to do more of what we desire.

#10: Great Hairstylists

Wouldn’t you agree that there’s nothing like a great haircut to make your day better?

And on that note, I’ll add that it’s worth it to have somebody in your life that inspires you to get out of your comfort zone when it comes to styling.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free coaching call with me: https://calendly.com/visashan/consultation-call-with-visa

Free resource:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I talk about parenting mistakes that you might be making.

Mistake #1: You raise your kids like your parents raised you.

The world we grew up in as children and the world our kids are growing up in are very, very different.

Our parents could shelter us as much as they wanted to from the challenges of the world. Today, with the ease of access everyone has to the internet, no matter how much we try to shelter our children from the harsh realities of the world, we simply will not be able to.

As parents, we need to learn to take cues from our children and engage in dialogue with them instead of simply trying to impose our parental instincts—ingrained in us from our own upbringing—onto them.

Mistake #2: You set extremely high expectations for yourself as a parent, and expect your kids to adhere to those same standards.

You might be like me, and are critical of everything you and others do.

If you’re the perfectionist, overachiever, or doer type, we tend to assume that everyone ought to operate the same way—our kids being no exception.

As with the last point, we need to take note of how our kids are wired and how they regard themselves and the world around them as they grow and mature.

Allow your kids to fall, to fail, and then rise, and learn. This simple process will do more for their personal growth than any expectation approximating perfection ever will.

Mistake #3: You train your kids to suppress their feelings.

One of the worst things we can do as parents is to disregard our children’s feelings or, worst of all, we get angry at them for expressing “unacceptable” feelings, whether it’s anger, disappointment, or shame.

Doing this tells your kids that they are not allowed to feel their big feelings around you—the human beings they trust the most at that point in their lives. This belief stays with them as they age, and it is an incredibly difficult belief to eradicate once it’s set in.

Mistake #4: You tell your kids, ever so subtly, that they need to change who they are.

Many of us have parents that withheld their love for us in very subtle ways if we didn’t behave the way they wanted us to.

The most common way this manifests is through school grades. How many of us were taught to feel worthless by our parents, even if they don’t explicitly mean to do so, whenever we brought home papers marked with less-than-stellar grades?

This communicates to our kids that who they are isn’t good enough and that they aren’t deserving. It plants a seed of insecurity and low self-esteem that, once again, lasts for a lifetime if left unaddressed.

Mistake #5: You believe that your children owe you something.

We don’t own our children, so they don’t owe you anything.

They don’t owe you future wealth or to “uphold the family name”, as great as those things are.

Mistake #6: You tell your kids to “do something useful” whenever they’re at play or rest.

As adults, we are run by time. That’s the unfortunate reality of navigating modern society.

But we should never be the ones to put that burden of being in constant motion, of being endlessly productive, on our own kids.

Mistake #7: You would do anything for your kids save for letting them be themselves.

As parents, we have certain ideas or dreams regarding how we want our kids to turn out.

Career aside, we ultimately want them to be successful, smart, charismatic, and ambitious. And if we don’t see those qualities right off the bat, we start to panic.

Mistake #8: You don’t let your kids fail.

Naturally, it pains us as parents to watch our kids fail and experience those negative emotions.

But as it goes, failure is necessary for growth.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free coaching call with me: https://calendly.com/visashan/consultation-call-with-visa

Free resource:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I share eight hard, yet necessary truths that we all need to embrace in order to live a life by design and not by default.

Truth #1: You’re never going to feel ready.

I always have to remind myself of this. This is especially true when you’re running your own business. You never feel qualified. You never feel worthy.

As painful as it may be to hear, there will be many moments in life where we need to take action before we feel “ready” (and again, we never actually will be).

Truth #2: You will make mistakes.

This is true even if you’re doing things right. In fact, that means you’re on the right track. Any goal worth achieving requires a truckload of mistakes to pop up all along the journey.

Stop worrying about making mistakes, and start focusing on what your mistakes can teach you.

Truth #3: There will always be someone better than you.

This is true in every area of life, whether we’re talking about your job, parenting, or a particular hobby.

And guess what? This is a great thing! See, instead of comparing yourself to others, you can compare your present self to your past self instead, and evaluate whether or not you’ve made progress.

Truth #4: People don’t care about you as much as you think they do.

We spend so much time and energy thinking about how others regard us.

We spend so much time trying to manipulate other people’s impressions of us, whether it’s our boss at work, our co-workers, or those in our peer group.

Here’s the thing: They don’t actually care all that much.

Nobody spends as much time thinking about you than yourself.

We live in our own head, so it makes sense that “everything is about us”.

Let’s always strive to be better while remembering that most people want the best for us, and not the other way around.

Truth #5: Don’t rely on motivation to get you through everything.

Motivation comes and goes.

Instead of relying on something fleeting, rely instead on your ability to stay consistent.

Truth #6: Drop your standards.

This may seem counterintuitive.

You might be an overachiever. You might be harsh on yourself when you underdeliver.

But here’s something to keep in mind:

Your 80% is someone else’s 100%.

Mediocrity for you is mastery to someone else.

Don’t stop showing up because you don’t think you can give it your all. Instead, celebrate yourself for doing the best you can.

Truth #7: The only way to not upset someone is to not speak, not have an opinion, and to not express yourself in any way.

In other words, if you don’t want to offend anyone, go mute.

Once you activate your voice, chances are you will ruffle someone’s feathers. The alternative is to go about life invisible.

Not really a better alternative, if you ask me!

Truth #8: Hard feelings need to be felt before they can be fixed.

It’s natural to want to fix our situation whenever we’re experiencing negative emotions, as if we have no business feeling those bad feelings.

But just as every conflict carries with it a seed of opportunity, we need to learn to sit in those hard feelings. When we insist on carrying that fighting energy, we resist how we feel in the moment, thinking they’ll go away sooner or later.

In truth, we’re only suppressing them for the time being, and when those feelings return, they return with a vengeance.

Surrender to every feeling, good and bad. We’re only human.

Always remember to ask: “What is this feeling teaching me?”

The second we embrace the fact that those tough moments are our most valuable teachers, we learn to lean in, listen closely, and emerge as better people in the end.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free coaching call with me: https://calendly.com/visashan/consultation-call-with-visa

Free resource:

10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

iTunes/Apple

Spotify

Google

Stitcher

Amazon

Tune In

Deezer