Has anyone else noticed that way too many stepparenting resources act like stepparents are child-hating morons who have never interacted with a single kid in our lives? I remember reading books that seriously said shit like "Listen, you're dating someone with a kid, so you might have to get used to Friday night soccer games instead of candlelit dinners." And I was like... ummm YES OBVIOUSLY. 🤦🏻‍♀️

There seems to be some unspoken assumption that if a stepparent & stepkid don't get along or if we think stepparenting is hard, it's gotta be because the stepparent doesn't get kids, isn't used to kids, or doesn't like kids. Turns out those aren’t necessarily related. Like… at all.

Speaking as a total kid person, I can tell you that even when you're a total kid person, stepparenting can be really really really challenging, for MANY reasons. If you like kids, then yes, you have one less hurdle to overcome. But one less hurdle out of a bajillion or so isn't a huge head start.

You and your stepkids learning to like each other is a years-long process, and there are no shortcuts to make it happen faster... not even when you're already a kid person. You just gotta hang in there and put in the time. If you need some help along the way, go read my stepparenting survival guide for a little cheat sheet, or come join our support community in Substack. xo

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🧡 Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo

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