Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity

It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then!

We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support community.

To commemorate our 37th wedding anniversary, we are taking a little slower pace for the month of September. So, on today's episode, we are revisiting Johnny's story of how a young boy with hopes and dreams for a wonderful future ends up confessing to his wife of 31 years that he is a sex addict and an adulterer.

His painful story is tragic, but also beautiful because he knows the One who makes a way when there is no way. Jesus can make something beautiful out of the ashes of our lives if we let him. And we know it's true because he's done it for us. He can do it for you too!

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

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RESOURCES:

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Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer

Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me

Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes. 

Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity* fueled by pornography use. And although it was Not Her Fault in any way, she is not perfect and you will hear some of the ways she fell short in her life too. But God is bigger than any failure, heartbreak or trauma. He is the redeemer of the lost and the comforter of the broken-hearted. (*name changed for privacy)

Grab a spiced latte or some other yummy drink and settle in for a deep and personal story of a betrayed wife and the hope she found in Jesus. 

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(*paid affiliate links may be included)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer

Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values

Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

Wives, do you have a desire for your husband to lead you and your family spiritually? Of course!

Husbands, are you at a loss for what that looks like and how you can show up for your wife in this area? Yeah, probably.

Unfortunately, in many Christian marriages, this is often a reality. A wife will take up the responsibility of being the spiritual head of the home because her husband isn’t stepping into that role.

When betrayal and addiction are revealed, reasons for his passivity become clear. After discovery, it may be necessary for a wife to temporarily take the lead until her husband achieves some recovery and healing, giving him the capacity and desire to lead his wife spiritually.

Today we are discussing 4 ways a husband can take up his God-given role to lead his wife in authentic spiritual leadership.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

Ebook - 9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal, for couples who have decided to stay married. Available exclusively on our Patreon page, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner                      

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 64. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)

Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs…(Series) #1 See Her Pain

Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her

Episode 67. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #3 Keep Your Promises

Episode 68. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #4 Emotional Maturity

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

Wives, are you trying to communicate your feelings to your husband and somehow it always ends up being about him. Are just not feeling seen, heard and validated?

Men, is your wife explaining to you how she feels or coming at you with big emotions and you find yourself at a loss of how to respond?

This can happen in any marriage, but when sexual betrayal is a reality, the pain and frustration seem magnified to levels that threaten to break the marriage. But, when she finds her voice and he respond with emotional maturity, the healing can begin.

Today we are going to talk through examples of how a betrayed wife can clearly communicate what she needs and how a recovering husband can respond with emotional maturity.

Grab a cool drink and get ready as we unpack 4 areas where emotional maturity can be cultivated.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 64. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)

Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs…(Series) #1 See Her Pain

Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her

Episode 67. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #3 Keep Your Promises

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

How much do you value keeping your word? And how does it make you feel when someone doesn't keep their word?

For a betrayed wife, it becomes even more important that her recovering husband keep his word. This new display of reliability provides the safety and security that she desperately needs in a time of confusion and broken trust. When he makes the effort to follow through on his promises, he's slowly rebuilding a solid foundation of trustworthiness that she can depend on.

Join us for this important discussion centered around the importance of keeping our word.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 64. 5 Things A Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)

Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) - #1 See Her Pain

Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) - #2 Prioritize Her

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

We all have priorities, whether we make them intentionally or they exist by default. At times our priorities can be misguided and cause pain for ourselves and for others. We also understand that priorities are important and it’s necessary to have them in the right order.

And for a betrayed wife, it’s imperative to know that she is a priority to her husband.

Today as we continue in our series, we will cover a wife’s need to feel she is more important to her husband than anyone or anything else on the planet. We will be outlining 4 ways a recovering husband can make this a reality for his wife.  

So, grab a cool beverage, pop in your ear bud, and join us for this important discussion.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity

Episode 64. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)

Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs…(Series) - #1 See Her Pain

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

Following the revelation of sexual betrayal, a couple must decide whether to stay together or not. Choosing to stay married initiates a complex journey of recovery and healing, filled with challenges and triumphs.

However, the journey may be prolonged due to the betrayer's lack of understanding the needs of the betrayed. Initially, the focus is on the betrayer's recovery and repairing the damage. The betrayed spouse often struggles to feel safe and discern truth.

Today we will be speaking through the lens of a betraying husband and a betrayed wife because that is our story. We want to shed light on the needs a wife has after the devastation of learning her husband has been unfaithful. Needs she may not even realize she has and needs her husband is most likely completely clueless about.

Listen in as we share with you what we have learned on our own journey of healing from sexual betrayal.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?

Episode 54. Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?

 Episode 64. 5 Things A Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

Has the reality of porn-fueled infidelity in your marriage come to light? Have you both decided to stay together and want to do your part to save your marriage?

Husband, have you decided to go all in on making it right? Are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the devastating consequences of your bad decisions, but moving forward in your relationship with your wife seems difficult?

Wife, are you hurt and confused about how this could have possibly happened? Are you grieving the loss of the marriage you thought you had? Do desperately need to see changes in your husband, but can’t find the words to communicate what you need from him?

We understand. At this raw and painful time, husbands likely don’t know what their wives need from them, and wives may not be able to articulate their needs in the aftermath of sexual betrayal.

On today’s show we are going to introduce 5 areas where a willing husband can learn to meet his wife’s deepest needs and how a broken-hearted wife can find her voice.

Listen in as we share with you what we have learned through our own journey of healing from sexual betrayal.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal

Episode 52. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull

Episode 54. Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?

NEXT STEPS:    

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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].  

It wasn’t until I stopped using pornography altogether and the fog lifted that I learned just how much effect it had had on my brain. The further I got away from the porn and the more days of sobriety I achieved, I found that I was able to think more clearly and process the difficult truth of my sex-addiction. Understanding porn’s effect on my brain helped to explain so many of my actions, or lack thereof, before I was finally discovered and came out of the shadows.

Here are just 4 shocking statistics about pornography use around the world:

• 28,258 users are watching pornography every second.

Today on our show, we will talk about the reality of porn-brain and the effect continual use of pornography has on our cognitive abilities, reasoning, and relationships.

So, buckle up, folks! We're pulling back the curtain on the damaging effects of watching porn - the things that many people might not know or just don't want to talk about. So, grab your favorite drink and let's get started!

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Your Brain On Porn (e-book)

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 16. ”It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography

Episode 20. From Porn Queen To Child of God Now On Mission To Help Others Find Freedom with Elizabeth Spraggins

Or Watch Episode 20 on YouTube!

Episode 21. Breaking Free: How To Escape the Grip of Porn Addiction with Emmanuel and Bekah Guarino

Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].

How was your week? Did it go as planned? This week, a verse really hit home for us in a big way...

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

Imagine this - just as we were about to hit the button to record today’s podcast episode, a sudden interruption caught us off guard. Johnny received a private message that sparked a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. It was from a woman Emily didn't know.

Talk about getting triggered!

It turned out to be a false alarm – phew! But, after the dust settled, we decided to share this story with you instead of our originally planned episode on porn-brain, which we will have for you next week.

Life has a funny way of throwing us curveballs that can leave us feeling off balance and disheartened. But even amid chaos, there is always a path forward for those who trust in the Lord. 

So, get comfortable and settle in for a true-life story of an unexpected event that could have ended in disaster - but, God.

We pray this blesses you,

Johnny and Emily

💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe

RESOURCES:

Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)

(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)

RELATED EPISODES:

Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal

Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology

Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity

NEXT STEPS:    

✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!    

✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.

✔️ You can connect with us at [email protected].