How Trauma and Grief Shape Decisions for Alienated Parents

In this episode of The Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford discusses the profound impact of trauma and grief on personal responses and decisions. She highlights a listener review, thanks Alexandra Unshakable for her feedback, and encourages listeners to leave reviews. Shelby shares personal stories and insights into how unprocessed trauma and grief manifest in daily life, affecting decisions, especially in parenting. She uses a comparison from Grey’s Anatomy to illustrate how trauma, irrespective of its source, can lead to similar responses in different people. Shelby emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and understanding one’s responses to past trauma, recognizing that these reactions are often driven by the nervous system’s need for safety and security. She provides examples from her own life, describing her struggles and the lingering effects of grief, and offers advice on shifting perspectives to alleviate self-blame and shame. Shelby concludes by urging listeners to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts to support other parents in similar situations.

00:00 Introduction and Listener Review

01:27 Today's Topic: Trauma and Grief

02:00 Personal Flashbacks and Reflections

04:42 Understanding Past Decisions

06:34 Shifting Narratives and Self-Blame

13:48 Relating to Fictional Characters

24:09 Grief and Its Impact

32:17 Conclusion and Call to Action

Addressing complex emotions surrounding Mother's Day for alienated parents. Shelby shares a poignant story about a mother dealing with the tragic loss of her child, providing insights into how such experiences can shape one’s journey through grief. The episode delves into the various thought patterns that contribute to prolonged grief disorder, such as rumination, self-blame, and avoidance. Shelby emphasizes the importance of processing grief in a healthy manner and provides practical advice for self-reflection and healing. She encourages listeners to acknowledge and adapt to their emotions, giving themselves the grace to move forward. This episode is a supportive guide for navigating sensitive days like Mother's Day, filled with personal anecdotes and expert insights aimed at helping listeners find peace and direction amidst their grief

YouTube Vid I Referenced: Navigating Grief, Mother's Day ,& Healing After Child Loss w/ Dr Marcy Larson

.00:00 Introduction and Episode Teaser

00:13 Mother's Day Inspiration and Emotional Story

05:13 Understanding Grief and Its Impact

10:41 Coping Mechanisms and Thought Patterns

18:02 Navigating Special Days and Self-Care

33:02 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Why Avoiding Your Feelings is Sometimes the Best Choice For Alienated Parents

In episode 135 of The Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford discusses the concept of intentional avoidance and its benefits for maintaining emotional balance and peace in the chaos of parental alienation. She shares her personal experiences and challenges with avoidance, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and societal beliefs about emotions. Shelby delves into the Dual Process Model of Bereavement developed by Strobe and Schut, which proposes a dynamic approach to grief management through oscillation between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented tasks. This model encourages a balanced, individualized, and compassionate approach to processing grief and rebuilding life. Shelby emphasizes the importance of taking breaks from intense emotions and intentionally shifting focus to practical life activities and new goals, thus promoting resilience and adaptation for alienated parents.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:00 Personal History with Avoidance

01:51 Conflicting Beliefs About Emotions

03:22 Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact on Alienation

08:33 Introduction to the Dual Process Model

18:14 Loss-Oriented Tasks in Grief for Alienated Parents

23:16 Restoration-Oriented Tasks in Grief

25:10 Balancing Loss and Restoration As Alienated Parents

29:01 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Understanding and Coping with Betrayal in Parental Alienation

In episode 134 of the Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford delves into the complex subject of betrayal, particularly within the context of parental alienation. Shelby explores whether betrayal is an emotion or a perception, drawing analogies with grief and emphasizing that betrayal stems from a perceived breach of trust. The discussion is sparked by a recent experience Shelby had with misleading AI-generated videos of Brene Brown discussing betrayal. Shelby shares personal stories of betrayal by trusted friends and family during her own struggles with parental alienation, highlighting how these experiences can exacerbate feelings of isolation and mistrust. She offers insights on the emotional responses to betrayal and emphasizes the importance of self-respect and self-worth in overcoming these challenges. Shelby also provides practical advice on naming and processing the emotions associated with betrayal to foster personal growth and resilience.

00:00 Introduction & Episode Overview

00:31 Defining Betrayal: Emotion or Emotional Experience Based on Perception?

01:40 Personal Anecdote: The REAL Brene Brown or Dupe?

07:41 Exploring the Concept of Betrayal in Parental Alienation

22:16 Self-Betrayal & How It Began

29:59 Empowerment & Moving Forward

38:15 Conclusion & Final Thoughts

#parentalalienationrecovery #alienatedmom #podcastforalienatedparents #parentalalienation

Discussing the common communication pitfall of using the phrase 'I feel like' and how it can hinder emotional clarity and empowerment, especially for alienated parents. Shelby encourages listeners to focus on identifying and articulating actual emotions to reduce misinterpretations and overcome poor communication habits. By sharing personal experiences and insights from her counseling journey, Shelby aims to help parents take their power back and communicate more effectively. She also invites listeners to consider her coaching programs for deeper transformation and to leave reviews to help more parents find support through the show.

00:00 Introduction and Announcements

00:59 The Power of Coaching

03:20 The Impact of 'I Feel Like' Statements

05:00 Personal Breakthroughs and Counseling

09:15 Taking Ownership of Emotions

10:53 Practical Examples and Exercises

16:11 Avoiding Cognitive Distortions

29:58 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

#parentalalienationrecovery #alienatedmom #parentalalienation

Coping with Feelings of Inadequacy as an Alienated Parent

In episode 132 of the Beyond The High Road Podcast, host Shelby Milford delves into the common feelings of inadequacy that many alienated parents experience. She opens up about her own struggles with avoiding social media checks on her daughter and the internal conflict about not feeling 'enough' due to her current situation. Shelby emphasizes the importance of recognizing that emotional presence, support, and love outweigh material offerings. She also provides strategies for self-affirmation and suggests exercises to help parents build self-worth and readiness for potential reunification with their children. This episode offers insightful guidance for alienated parents coping with feelings of rejection and inadequacy.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:26 Struggles with Social Media and Avoidance

02:42 Facing Fears and Emotional Challenges

05:09 Comparing Yourself "How THEY Do It"

09:26 Tips for Overcoming Inadequacy

20:13 The Importance of Self-Love and Acceptance

26:34 Practical Exercise for Building Self-Worth

30:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

#parentalalienationrecovery #parentalalienation #alienatedparent #podcastforalienatedparents

Navigating Nostalgia, Remorse, & Uncertainty

In episode 131 Shelby Milford delves into the mixed emotions that arise with springtime nostalgia. She shares her personal reflections on regret and remorse, prompted by some treasured memories with her daughter before alienation. Shelby emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between regret and shame, encouraging listeners to embrace their growth journey. She explores how changing the narratives we tell ourselves about our past can foster healing and growth. With a poignant example of an Instagram post (thanks to Max Stossel), Shelby inspires parents to stay hopeful and believe in a brighter future despite current hardships. She concludes by underscoring the unbreakable bonds between parents and children, offering encouragement and support to all alienated parents.00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:36 Springtime Nostalgia and Memories03:27 Reflections on Regret and Remorse05:29 Understanding and Overcoming Shame10:35 The Power of Perspective and Storytelling30:16 The Unbreakable Parent-Child Bond32:17 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Dive into cultivating a sense of safety and peace amidst the chaos of parental alienation. Shelby begins by sharing a touching review from a listener, highlighting the transformative impact of her coaching. She then addresses the common feeling of instability and unpredictability faced by alienated parents, emphasizing the importance of bringing focus back to oneself. Through strategies like building emotional resilience, establishing predictability in daily routines, managing stress responses, and choosing a strong support team, Shelby offers actionable steps to help parents regain control and inner peace. This episode also encourages listeners to practice consistency and implement daily routines as a foundational approach to overcome the ongoing challenges they face. Shelby also stresses the need to evaluate and adjust the kind of media content one consumes and the importance of creating a supportive and mindful living environment.

Move Past the Pain Of Alienation By Allowing Your Emotions

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4l2U2h48NBSMNt6F9inUX1?si=H-iJdIdOTxGRkc2SFt1sAg

00:00 Introduction and Listener Review

01:49 The Graduate Program and Client Experiences

03:24 Navigating Alienation and Creating Safety

06:51 Building Emotional Resilience

17:59 Establishing Predictability and Managing Stress

25:57 Choosing the Your Support Team(s)

37:11 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

#parentalalienationrecovery #alienatedparent #podcastforalienatedparents

In episode 129 of 'Beyond the High Road' podcast, Shelby discusses the emotional challenges faced by alienated parents and those experiencing grief. She reflects on the importance of engaging in hobbies like plant care that cultivate patience and dedication. She emphasizes the power of shifting one's mindset from merely surviving to thriving, even during the grief of alienation. Drawing from personal anecdotes and client experiences, Shelby encourages listeners to actively shape a fulfilling future rather than settling for mediocrity or avoiding pain. She argues that embracing growth and finding deeper meaning in life can ultimately lead to post-traumatic growth and a more enriched life experience. The episode also touches on the biological implications of prolonged isolation and the importance of loving oneself to break out of negative emotional cycles. Shelby concludes with a call to embrace opportunities for joy and not resign to a life of low-grade suffering.

00:00 Introduction and Greetings

00:35 Plant Talk and Personal Reflections

02:48 The Sneaky Mindset of Resignation

07:34 Challenging Limiting Beliefs & Avoiding Pain

09:05 Client Story and Life Lessons

11:57 Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth

16:24 Did Alienation Lead Us To A Deeper Well?

19:37 The Importance of Self-Care

21:33 Negative Feedback Loops & Emotional Unavailibility

33:26 Conclusion and Call to Action

#parentalalienation #podcastforalienatedparents #grief

Trust Your Compass: A Journey to Restore Your Bond For Alienated ParentsIn episode #128 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, Shelby Milford shares a recorded Facebook Live session addressing alienated parents seeking to reconnect with their children. Shelby discusses the challenges parents face in reunification and the importance of trusting their instincts amidst professional and societal pressures. Through a case study of a past client, Shelby highlights the struggle with feelings of marginalization, self-doubt, and maintaining a parental role. She offers practical advice on how to engage with children, emphasizing the necessity of maintaining authority while fostering a loving relationship. The episode aims to empower parents by encouraging them to value their role and trust their inner compass during the reunification process.00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview01:44 Reconnecting with Your Child: A Client Story03:18 Challenges in Reunification05:10 Parental Authority, Self-Doubt, and Inner Compass08:55 Effective Communication Strategies17:55 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

#parentalalienation #alienatedmom #parentalalienationrecovery #podcastforalienatedparents