What would change in your life if you weren’t afraid to have difficult conversations? 

Getting along with someone in your life when they're not acting as they "should" is one of the most challenging issues we face around the holidays. Then, when we add alienation into the mix, the opportunities for conflict to arise seem to multiply. One of the main byproducts of conflict is negative emotion.

And.... when there’s a lot of negative emotion involved, it's difficult, seemingly impossible to not go into blame, frustration, defensiveness, & justification. But being "right" offers a false sense of power - it costs us intimacy.

In this episode, I share with you:

Its time for the FREE ⁠⁠⁠Holiday Support Group⁠⁠⁠! 🎄 If you're at all interested in attending, come let me know, so I can prep for you! ⁠⁠⁠https://www.beyondthehighroad.com/HolidaySupportGroupSignUp⁠⁠⁠

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In last week's episode I made a mistake. I referred to one of my thought choices as an "old resentment", suggesting that it's somewhat out of my control that I still lug it around with me today. But that's not how it actually is. And Than GOD for that.

If we all had to reckon with the pain from our pasts by continuing to repeat the same old painful and wretched stories to ourselves, life would be absolute AGONY.

The truth is, you can decide how you want to think and feel about anything you want. It's your story to tell.

Its time for the FREE ⁠⁠Holiday Support Group⁠⁠! 🎄 If you're at all interested in attending, come let me know, so I can prep for you! ⁠⁠https://www.beyondthehighroad.com/HolidaySupportGroupSignUp⁠⁠

Join the BTHR Private Facebook Group

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Change is inevitable. Right now, as you read this, the world around you is evolving. YOU are evolving. We all know this from an intellectual standpoint; but emotionally, we fight it tooth & nail.

Change occurs when something makes it impossible for you to remain the same. Just as the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, YOU, as an alienated parent, also go through your own metamorphosis...

....IF you allow for it. But if you fight it, you remain in your chrysalis - hardening and seizing up (which requires you to exert a lot of energy, and amounts to nothing in the end).

Instead, I'm offering that you let it all fall apart, as it wants to do. This is what is required in order for you to emerge from your outer shell (your ego) and become your newest version of you. ♥️

🎄its that time of year again for the ⁠Holiday Support Group⁠! 🎄

If you're at all interested in attending, come let me know, so I can set the day of the week! 

⁠https://www.beyondthehighroad.com/HolidaySupportGroupSignUp⁠

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I think one of my top pet peeves has to be when some person I dont know tells me:"smile! It can't be that bad!" You know what I'm talking about, right? I think the reason it annoys me so much is because that person is implying that a.) they know what's going on in my head and b.) that the absence of smile on my face is actually affecting them so much that they need me to fix myself according to their preferences. And that has never sat well with me.

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As alienated parents, the emotions we experience are INTENSE. Over time, anger can be sewn into -- BAKED into -- the fabric of your being. It can begin to affect how you think, feel, and interact on default... down to your posture, facial expressions, and subconscious interpretations of your world around you.

I used to think that when I had an intense emotion, that I had no control over how I reacted. "If they wouldn't make me mad, then I wouldn't have behaved that way". Cause 👉🏼effect!

But I've since found that I was mistaken. Today I know that I can feel intense anger, and go get a pedicure. I learned how to hold space for the emotion, while also not burying it deep down in my soul.

Over the holidays, emotions run high. I timed this one to help you to manage all the frustration you might be dreading. 😉

Speaking of holidays, its that time of year again!! The Holiday Support Group! 🎄 If you're at all interested in attending, come let me know, so I can prep for you!

https://www.beyondthehighroad.com/HolidaySupportGroupSignUp

Join the BTHR Private Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/HighRoadPrivate⁠⁠⁠⁠

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I was thinking the other day about us (target parents), and about our children, for whom most of us would pledge both arms to have home again.

Then it occurred to me.. "but I wonder how many parents feel ready to have them home?" ... "and I wonder how many of those parents have taken the steps necessary?" ... "or even know the steps to take?"

Because, let me tell you: 3-4 years ago, I sure as heck wouldn't have known what to do. I mean, it's one thing when it's written in a court document, or being thrown at you in condescending SMS msgs, but it's a whole different thing -- and so much more helpful -- when you hear it from another parent who's been down the very road you're on.

Plus, I know for me, the holidays have historically been a time to hide. This way, you have a framework to follow over the next few weeks, months, or however long you decide..

So, this episode contains 4 steps to a.) prep you for reconnecting with your kiddo and/or b.) move you from feeling like 💩 to feeling like 🤩.

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Those of us who've experienced alienation are all pretty well-versed in both pain & suffering. The combination of the two is AGONY. The good news is, only ONE of these is necessary.

IN this episode:

- my thoughts on getting to "happy"

- how we perpetuate our pain

- dirty pain on top of clean pain

- why it's so important to allow your base pain

- 4 ways to eliminate - or at least minimize - your suffering.

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Website: https://www.beyondthehighroad.com 

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This week makes ONE WHOLE YEAR for us! I say "us", because I really feel like you are part my team -- an integral part. This week's episode is dedicated to my top 10 favorite insights and most valuable lessons I've learned on this road to recovery. It's on the lengthier side, but as you'll hear, I had a lot going on for me personally this week. Enjoy.

✨ASK ME ANYTHING!!! THIS SAT OCT 28, 2023 10:30am EDT ⭐️⭐️⭐️ register for the event: ⁠https://www.beyondthehighroad.com/askmeanything⁠

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Social Anxiety... it cripples many target parents of alienation. Throughout the year, I believe we kind of "manage" ourselves around it; however, once the holiday season rolls around, the influx of reminders can cause some of us to feel overwhelmed. The feelings show up in subtle ways at first, causing behaviors such as avoiding eye contact or limiting conversations, so as to protect us from vulnerability. Over time, these little behaviors manifest into a large emotional barrier between us and the rest of society.

Today I share with you a story highlighting the polarity between my pre-alienation ability to thrive in the spotlight amongst hundreds of people and post-alienation social anxiety, which still lingers today.

In this episode:

on at current!)

Free Resources:

⁠5 Actions to Improve Your Mood (in Under 5 Minutes)!⁠

✨ASK ME ANYTHING!!! THIS SAT OCT 7, 2023 11am EDT

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Decisions... they seem so damn difficult to make (after alienation happens). Especially when you're in an active state of worry about what might happen as a result of your choice. Your brain will keep you in a state of paralysis if you've been telling yourself things like:

Thoughts like these will only keep you sitting in idle (or possibly going in reverse). Not only that, but the energy your body expends in avoiding... OOF (trust me, I speak from very recent experience).

What's more? The act of procrastinating/avoiding the impending decision in front of you will actually CAUSE that dreaded outcome to come to fruition.

In this episode:

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