This week, we've some discussion of aggressive bidets, the science of clitoral measurements, and why Sydney Sweeney may or may not be fluent in Russian. Mike shares his experience installing a high-end toilet seat that may or may not be waging psychological warfare on his anus. Keith explores the concept of malicious compliance, specifically how a government employee might secretly be helping birth control access by following bad orders too well. Meanwhile, Ally regrets mentioning that airport breastfeeding pods exist because now Mike is brainstorming ways to misuse them.

We also break down the latest entry in the "songs that make Ben Shapiro furious" genre, dissecting the lyrics to Fat, Juicy, and Wet with the kind of forensic rigor normally reserved for congressional hearings. What exactly is "coochie water," and why is it being autographed? Did the songwriter fully grasp the anatomical implications of their rhymes? These are the questions that matter, and we bravely attempt to answer them, only to become more confused in the process.

Later, we examine a listener’s personal crisis, which starts as a question about losing her sex drive and ends in an existential conversation about whether orgasms are like hunger (or, in Ally’s case, an optional theme park trip). Mike is irritated by the fact that women don’t always want sex, Keith makes a sweeping generalization about men, and Ally tries to explain why sometimes the effort of getting naked is just too much. This leads, naturally, to a discussion of the OKCupid age-attraction graph and a thorough analysis of whether men are hopelessly deluded about their chances with 21-year-olds. The answer: yes, but hope springs eternal.

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