BindTortureKast

Hey gore-whores, and welcome to Episode 105 of BindTortureKast.  For this episode, we are once again cracking open the Unearthed Films vault to bring you our insight (and excrement)-filled reviews of one of their newest, the "Faim de Mort Trilogy".  God.  I don't even know where to begin with this one.  So much sheer depravity.  Just how I like it.  It's like Francios Yagopian crawled inside my brain, took a look around, and said "Sure, I can make all of this into three short films!".  Well, he would've probably said it in French, which would have just sounded nicer, anyway.  Still, be sure to listen into these reviews.  It could go one way or the other, but I would be shocked if Steve or Luke feel "meh" about this nasty piece of filth!  Other than that, it's just a lot of crap.  You can still listen if you want to, but I wouldn't. 

 Music on the episode (in order of appearance);

“Pedafly”-Skinny Puppy

“Comatose”-Frontline Assembly

“Pusher Man”-Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats

Hi there.  Do you like horror? How about anthologies? What about terrible podcasts?  Well damn, man.  You have come to the right place, as your friends over here at BindTortureKast have decided to dedicate their 104th episode to the new Mexican horror anthology, "Mexico Barbaro".  Hopefully this one continues the recent trend of awesome anthologies in the horror world, and hopefully Luke finally stops throwing mole' at my head.  That shit burns my eye-meats.  Anyway, have fun with this one guys- we did!

Music on this episode (in order of appearance);

“La Traicion”-Brujeria

“Brujerizmo”-Brujeria

“Mexico Barbaro”-Transmetal

Hello one and all, and thank you for checking out Episode 103 of BindTortureKast.  For this one, we are reviewing the new creature-feature, "The Hallow".  It had a great one-sheet and a kick ass trailer, but will it break the losing-streak that B/T/K has been on this year, when it comes to good creature flicks?  For fuck's sake, it better! So cuddle up by the fire and enjoy our brand-spanking new reviews of this interesting little film.  I would write more, but I am very tired.  Like, REALLY tired.  I have been getting things together for all of this month's shows, and this tells me two things.  One, I should take a nap.  I like naps.  Two, I have no goddamn life.  Seriously, I should be off somewhere experiencing joy.  Having fun.  Kissing a woman.  Doing SOMETHING that doesn't always involve necrophilia, rape, dismemberment, and other such activities.  I am not sure who leads that kind of life, but I am certain someone does.  Hit me up on Facebook to tell me what it's like.

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance)

“Reverie/Harlequin Forest”-Opeth

“The Path (A New Beginning)”-Gustavo Santaolalla

‘The Last You’ll Know”-Neurosis

Greetings everyone, and welcome to another terrible episode of BindTortureKast.  Our 102nd terrible one, if you're keeping count.  Anyway, now that we have officially turned 100, it's time to show how mature we are and review some films that much of the horror world tends to shit on.  That's right, for this episode, we are each reviewing a film from the 2015 lineup of the After Dark Horror Fest lineup.  Will this year be any better than the previous year's entries?  Well, keep on listening to find out.  Unless you've already seen them all and KNOW you don't like them, in which case maybe you should just skip this episode, entirely.  Or don't.  You know what?  Don't.  If you do, you'll miss Luke and my discussion on the "Inside" remake news.  Two fanboys of foreign horror talking about remakes of a beloved film?  I know, its totally new ground for podcasts, but c'mon; this is "INSIDE"!!!! You KNEW we were gonna run our mouths with this one!  Anyway, enjoy the show kids, and feel free to leave us feedback on iTunes and Stitcher.  It makes Luke beat me less.

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance);

 “Darkness and Light”-Rosetta Stone

“After Dark”-Seraphim Shock

“Bastard”-Devin Townsend

Hello guys and gals, and welcome to BindTortureKast, episode 101!

What?

You thought we were actually hanging it up?

Haven't you learned by now? I like to fuck with people. It's true.

So, we lied.  Kind of.  We never really went away, but we are starting over.  Kind of.  Think of it as BTK 2.0, or whatever makes you feel better about this whole mess.

We are going to be trying a few new things, cutting away some of the dead flesh that made the show less-listenable, and hopefully delivering even better shows for all of you fabulous fuckers! Expect some ongoing changes to the format (until we get it "right"), beginning with this episode.  Speaking of "this episode", HAPPY HALLOWEEN and as a way to get into the spooky mood of our favorite holiday, we are bringing you our reviews of the new VOD film, "Tales Of Halloween".  Its horror, an anthology, and centered around Halloween.  What's not to love (or at the very least, look forward to)?  Also, we decided to try something that we have been wanting to do for quite some time...thats right, we recorded in the same damn room.  Like, together.  Looking at each others faces.  It was horrible.  Anyways, the sound quality may be a little off, but that is because I am a good host and allowed Luke and Steve to sit in front of the mic, while I sat off in the darkness.  What a nice guy.  It is all good though, as nobody wants to hear me anyway.  You come for the fun, but you stay for the LUKE!  Thanks for your support as we once again begin this podcast.  The first steps are always the most awkward, but stagnation is lethal!  Be sure to hit us up on Facebook ("Bind Torture Kast") in the coming weeks, and let us know what you think of the new-ish show!

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance)

“Reborn By The Seed Of Death” Dead Silent Slumber

“October’s Monody”-In Vain

“Tall Tales”-Stolen Babies

When did the birds stop singing?  Was the world always heading for a funeral?  Did we ever look deep within ourselves, in the darkest places that make us cry when we are alone, to find some sliver of truth?  Could we have ever possibly known that the infinite shadow of regret was pursuing us throughout the void.  No.  We were too bind to see, and to dumb to give a shit.  We danced and laughed and shouted.  We were amazing, were special, we were SOMETHING.  But we weren't.  We were none of that.  We were maggot shit, and also, this is probably what the first entry in an Emo kid's diary reads like.  Go cut yourself and get another ironic haircut, you goth culture-co-opting pieces of shit!  The blackest night of my soul, and all of that melodramatic nonsense.  I would like to bathe in your blood, except I fear I may contract whatever it is that you have.  See?  What did I tell you all?  This means NOTHING!

Music On This Episode (in order of appearance)

“This Is Metal”-Zimmers Hole

“Metallic Division”-Fear Factory

“Far Beyond Metal”-Strapping Young Lad

“Closer To The End”-Mortiis

“Poltergeist”-Devin Townsend

Thanks for listening to "Luke and Chris' LAST Awful Mystery Show Of DOOM!!!".  It would be telling to say what we are reviewing, but perhaps the more perceptive among you have already deciphered it.  If not, once you listen to the episode, I am sure you will see how it was staring you in the face the whole time.  Do not feel bad though; I am the uncreative and vague asshole, here.  You, well YOU are the wonderful person who puts up with me every episode.  Thank you for that, and thanks for all of the support over these last few years!  To show my thanks, we are adding yet another review to this Awful Mystery Show Of DOOM show type show.  Out of paralyzing fear of ever being confused with "overachieving", we kept it small, but it exists and you should listen to that too!  Assuming you are reading this BEFORE listening to the show, head on back when you are done, and use this address to watch the second Mystery Meat Movie for free; 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpYqCYi0mbo

...the end.

In honor of tonight's episode, I will be altering the beginning of this story.  This story will change from time to time, will follow no logic, and means absolutely nothing.  Also, it's already begun.  Elijah had once had dreams.  He had wanted to be an actor, but his abhorrence of people had made moving to any of the major cities an impossibility, or at the very least, something to be dreaded.  So, Elijah kept on keeping on, so sure that fate would slather giant gobs of baby oil on its beautiful hand and pluck him out of the millions of unnoticed artists who have oh-so-much to say.  He would be placed upon a mountain, and countless would worship him.  He would be celebrated for his uniqueness, his "fresh out of bed" style would inspire countless clothing designers and fashion shows.  He would be congratulated for his fame and success and looked up to for "keeping it real" by posing for pictures with the starving and dying kids of one of those loser-countries.  He would star in 4 movies a year, attend awards ceremonies, pose on magazine covers, never miss his butthole-bleaching appointments, become the spokesperson for fill-name-in-here green company that puts people before profits (but only after he's gotten his monthly check), and eventually meet/marry a beautiful woman with a name almost as ironic as his own hairstyle.  Yes, it would be a great life.  So, Elijah waited.  And waited.  It was a strange thing, this situation he found himself in.  He could never see himself moving to LA or NY.  Living all up against the throngs of diseased vermin that he loathed, but also he couldnt very well expect his luck to change if he didnt do SOMETHING, and soon.  If only he didnt have such animosity towards his fellow man.  Also, it would help if he had not been born with a Craniopagus Parasiticus.  Apparently, he was one of the illustrious ten documented cases of this happening. Little fucker. Always talking in his ear.  Literally.  Whatever.  Elijah knew that his time would come.  The magazines could Photo Shop little Wendell out of the shot.  He could speak at awards ceremonies about what it's like living with this affliction and everyone would clap, harder and harder.  Maybe Wendell would even smile a little.  Or drool.  That would really bring on the waterworks.  It would be all for him, and he would deserve every bit of it.  Things were changing for Elijah.  He could feel it.  Or was that just Wendell slowly dying?

Ciao, my little blood-soaked bambinos, and welcome to the 96th episode of BindTortureKast.  Over the course of this entire podcast, we have never stopped praising Astron 6.  They are awesome.  It is a fact.  While we've never reviewed one of their feature films (c'mon, do you really need to hear another podcast review "Father's Day"?  Maybe we'll do "A Serbian Film", while we're at it...), our devotion to their special brand of Canadian carnage has been unwavering.  Well, its taken a good long while, but thanks to the mad geniuses over at Scream Factory, the good ol' U.S. of A has finally gotten their giallo-inspired horror omedy, "The Editor".  So be sure to listen to us as we not only review it, but try to act like we know anything about the giallo sub-genre.  Also, pay close attention and see if you can hear me act like I give two shits.  Beyond that...meh...nobody reads these things, I could literally forget all laws of's grammars,,,,,,,!!!!!p-u=nct..uati/?on and spellllnge and just write whatever the fuck I want here, couldnt I?  Hey, here's an idea, rather than spending time every month trying to find new and clever ways to essentially re-word the same shit I already said at the beginning of this stupid fucking show, maybe I can start writing a short story.  Like, a few paragraphs for each episode.  It would be kind of like publishing two different things at once.  Yes, I think I will do that.  It will be utter nonsense, but I will make it fun.  Dont worry, though.  For the two of you who DO actually read these, I will continue to include the usual...

...Music On This Episode (in order of appearance)

“Welcome To Nocturne City”-Perturbator

“Surf Rape Rock”-Father’s Day OST

“Gathering Fingers”-Stolen Babies

“Last Movie”-Akira Yamaoka

“Epitome XII”-Blut Aus Nord