Bisexual Killjoy

S4E1: Bisexual Killjoys Lost in History

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! Season 4 opens with a reckoning: what happens when your history keeps getting erased? Bailey and Jace reflect on how far the podcast has come, why bi+ history matters, and what it means to build legacy in a world that constantly pushes us to the margins. From Stonewall to the AIDS crisis, from forgotten activists to speculative bisexual icons, we’re taking a messy, curious, and determined dive into the cracks where our stories have been buried.

In this episode, we talk about how bi+ erasure shows up in history books, archives, and movements that claim to be “for all queers,” but consistently leave us out. We trace six generations of bi+ activism, dig into the blessing and curse of being a decentralized community, and wrestle with what legacy-building actually means. Spoiler: it’s hard, it’s frustrating, and it’s essential. 

This season is all about history, erasure, and resilience. Our goal isn’t to create a perfect archive but to give bi+ listeners a sense of place, belonging, and possibility. Allies, you’ll hear concrete ways to show up beyond rainbow reposts. Bi+ folks, this one’s for you: your history is here, your community is here, and you deserve to see yourself in it.

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram.

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week (or since we saw you last)? We want to hear from you! Chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! Here we are at the end of another season, and boy, are our arms tired. We ran the gamut from mental health, from race to economics, spirituality, class, parenthood, and neurodiversity. And by talking about these big topics, we were able to learn more about ourselves and each other. In this episode, we recap the season, meditate on community, and make predictions on Pride.

We’re off for the summer but are already planning for season 4. Until we meet again, keep being a Bisexual Killjoy. Stay bisexual, and stay strong.  

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! What does it mean to survive as a bi+ person in a world structured by class? In one of our most expansive and layered conversations to date, Bailey and Jace are joined by educator, activist, and musician Alicia Ortiz to unpack the taboo of talking about class, especially in queer spaces. Together, we explore how class functions as a sticky object in our lives, how bi+ people uniquely navigate systems of poverty and power, and why the myth of meritocracy doesn’t hold up under scrutiny.

From identity politics and the legacy of the Combahee River Collective to Olúfẹ́mi Táíwò’s Elite Capture, we examine how movements are co-opted, how queerness is commodified, and how bi+ people are often excluded from both straight and gay narratives of respectability. We also dig into how upward mobility—whether through the military, education, or sex work—is often pathologized, and why coalition-building is essential for a liberated future.

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Where to find Alicia Ortiz

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! What does it mean to become a bi+ woman in a world that says you’re either too much or not enough? In this episode, we dive deep into the messiness of womanhood, gender socialization, and bi+ identity. Grounded in Simone de Beauvoir’s iconic quote, “One is not born, but rather becomes, woman,” we unpack the violence of gender norms, internalized misogyny, femmephobia, and the social construction of sex itself.

We talk about the personal and political stakes of being bi+ and femme in a world that demands your compliance—and punishes your refusal. From the erasure of bi+ women in relationships to survival strategies shaped by patriarchy, this conversation is a powerful reminder that womanhood isn’t a fixed truth; it’s a battlefield of expectations, agency, and becoming.

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! In this episode, “Sacred Spaces, Queer Faces,” we sit down with Dr. Samantha Costa to explore the fraught and fascinating relationship between bi+ identity and faith. From the lingering trauma of “pray the gay away” ideologies to the quieter pressures to suppress bi+ness in religious spaces, we unpack how bi+ people navigate spiritual lives in the face of erasure and exclusion. Together, we ask: Is it possible to hold onto faith without organized religion? Can bi+ people build spiritual practices that reflect their whole selves? And what might a theology of in-betweenness look like in a world that demands certainty? This conversation honors the sacred in the liminal and invites listeners to imagine new forms of queer belonging, both spiritual and communal.

Samantha Costa is a queer non-binary scholar, survivor, and storyteller exploring the sacred in the wake of religious trauma. A professor and social researcher, their work focuses on LGBTQIA+ mental health, gender identity, and spiritual reclamation. Raised Catholic in an Irish-Italian family and later disowned alongside their transgender parent, Dr. Costa, now helps others navigate the long road from exile to integration. They earned their PhD in Philosophy and Religion from CIIS and developed the “Seven Freedom Milestones” to map queer journeys toward spiritual wholeness.

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Where to find Samantha Costa

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! In this episode, we explore the intersection of bi+ identity and parenting, a topic many of our listeners have been eager for us to dig into. To help us navigate this conversation, Dr. Ellen Davenport-Pleasance, a leading researcher on bi+ parenting and director of the Bisexual Research Group, joins us. Together, we unpack how bi+ parents experience minority stress, family dynamics, and cultural socialization, and why bi+ people are both more likely to be parents and yet remain underrepresented in queer narratives. We also talk about how bi+ parents can foster affirming environments for their kids, the role community plays as a protective factor, and what bi+ parents should keep in mind when building supportive networks. Whether you're a bi+ parent, thinking about parenthood, or just curious about the unique intersections of bi+ identity and family life, this episode is for you.

Ellen Davenport-Pleasance is a bisexual researcher who recently finished her PhD at University College London. Her PhD focused on families with bisexual+ mothers, and explored minority stress, mental health, and family functioning, using a mixture of qualitative and quantitative methods. Prior to her PhD, she completed an MPhil in Psychology at the University of Cambridge, during which she conducted a qualitative study of bisexual+ mothers, focusing on how they came out to their children and their queer socialization practices. As well as conducting research, Ellen has taught social science/ psychology at four universities in the UK and is the director of the Bisexual Research Group.

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Where to find Ellen Davenport-Pleasance

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! In this episode, we’re diving into a conversation many of you have asked us to cover: what it means to be both neurodiverse and bi+. As bi+ folks with ADHD, we’re not just talking theory; we’re sharing our lived experiences, the lack of affirming research at this intersection, and the powerful stories you’ve shared.

We’re exploring how neurodivergence and bi+ness co-exist, how pathologizing narratives have failed us, and why we need more affirming, participant-driven research. We ground our conversation in two of Alex Toft’s articles and use them as a jumping-off point to discuss invisibility, identity stacking, hypersexualization, and the nonconforming ways neurodiverse bi+ folks show up in the world.

We also asked our listeners to share what it’s like navigating this intersection, and as always, y’all delivered. From grappling with identity labels to dealing with social norms that don’t quite fit, this episode is about claiming space, rejecting deficit-based thinking, and embracing the fullness of neurodiverse bi+ identity.

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! In this episode, we explore the intersection of bi+ identity and race, unpacking how structural oppression, racial stereotypes, and exclusion from mainstream queer spaces affect bi+ people of color. To guide us through this conversation, we’re joined by the amazing Dr. Zori Paul. We’re zeroing in on how bi+ oppression intersects with racial oppression, the impact of colorblindness in queer spaces, and the importance of creating affirming, community-driven spaces for queer people of color. We’re also talking about resilience through affirmation and coalition-building and how bi+ people of color can find and cultivate spaces that fully recognize and support their identities.

Zori Paul is a Licensed Professional Counselor, counselor educator, and researcher. Her work focuses on intersecting marginalized identities, particularly bisexual+/queer people of color. Her recent research focuses on exploring the impacts of microaffirmations with bisexual+ women of color and queer people of color. She also co-hosts Therapy on a Tangent, a podcast where two therapists nerd out about their geeky passions and mental health. 

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Follow us on @bisexualkilljoy on Instagram or email us at [email protected]. 

Resources

Where to find Zori Paul

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! This week, we’re diving into bi+ mental health with a very special guest: Dr. Mimi Hoang. In honor of Bi+ Health Awareness Month, we discuss the mental health disparities bi+ folks face, the lack of research on bi+ BIPOC communities, and why it’s critical to have bi+ affirming mental health professionals. We also explore the role of community as a protective factor, how bi+ activism has shaped national advocacy efforts, and practical steps bi+ folks can take to access care and support.

Dr. Mimi Hoang is an internationally recognized psychologist, life coach, public speaker, and community organizer specializing in the LGBTQ+ and Asian American and Pacific Islander communities. Since the 1990s, she has co-founded three organizations for bisexual, pansexual, and fluid ("bi+" if you’re nasty) individuals - the Los Angeles Bi+ Task Force (LABTF), amBi Los Angeles, and Fluid at UCLA. Dr. Mimi has authored multiple publications and earned a seat at the landmark 2013 White House Bisexual Community Roundtable, which sparked her focus on bi+ affirmative counseling and mental health. Her steadfast leadership has earned her multiple awards and recognitions, including being one of Go Magazine's "100 Women We Love" and being named “One of the Most Significant Women in the Bisexual Movement.” 

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Where to find Mimi Hoang

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! We’re kicking off Season 3 with a deep dive into intersectionality—what it actually means, how it’s been co-opted, and why it’s essential for bi+ folks navigating multiple forms of marginalization. Originally coined by legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw, intersectionality is not just about personal identity—it’s a framework that reveals systemic gaps where people are most vulnerable. In this episode, Bailey and Jace break down how overlapping systems of oppression impact bi+ people and why single-issue solutions will never be enough.

This season is all about resistance. As political attacks on queer and trans rights escalate, we need tools to fight back. We discuss why bi+ folks have always existed in the margins, how systemic failures disproportionately harm those at multiple intersections, and what we can do to build a stronger, community-driven movement. From staying informed to supporting bi+ activists and creating sustainable activism, we’re focused on real actions, not just talking points.

Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. 

Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Send us a message, chat with us on our Discord server, or email us at [email protected]  

Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here.

Resources

Find a mutual aid network near you: https://www.mutualaidhub.org/