I tend to get wrapped up in my own thoughts. A lot. As in, I've gone on solo road trips and not even turned the radio on for hours. I'm very comfortable with silence.

Because of this, I've heard the same kinds of comments from people close to me for my whole life: "You got really quiet all of a sudden. What's going on? Or, "You have to tell me how you're feeling — I can't read your mind!" Or, usually in an argument, "Are you even hearing me? Say something already!"

The strange thing is, anyone who knows me well will tell you that I can be chatty. I used to bring report cards home from school with all A's and a little X-mark that said, "Talks to her friends too much in class."

And if you've ever listened to our podcast, I think it's pretty clear that talking — sometimes ad nauseum — about something I care deeply about is certainly not an issue of mine!

So what's going on? Why is it that I can be so chatty sometimes, and so quiet and pensive other times?

It took me a long time to figure this out (and a lot of seeing similar patterns in people I coach), but it turns out it has everything to do with how I process thoughts, feelings, and information.

Most people in my life — my closest friends, and most of my family members, too — are external processors. Me, on the other hand? I'm an internal processor.

In this week's blog, I'm explaining the difference between internal and external processing, as well as how to figure out your processing style and use it to better communicate with others.

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