A client of mine, Molly, is burnt out.

She's got two jobs that have her working at least 50 hours a week (usually more like 60-65), including night and weekend shifts. Sometimes after working 6 days in a row, her boss will ask if she can fill in for someone on the 7th day … and she usually agrees, even though it means she doesn't get a single day off in a week.

She's also involved in multiple social groups, and she gets roped into helping plan and coordinate events, even when she can't make it to the event (because she's working so much).

I pointed out that this is not a sustainable pace, and she fully acknowledges that. She's constantly sleep-deprived, and her naturally sunny personality is slowly being replaced by a grumpy, snippy, unmotivated person who she barely recognizes.

Molly knows that something's got to give, but whenever she considers backing out of a commitment or saying no or taking something off her very-full plate, she becomes consumed by guilt.

Recently she told me, "I really wanted to tell my boss I couldn't take on another shift this week, but I knew they didn't have anyone else they could turn to, and it felt selfish to say no when I didn't have any other plans that day."

We dug more into what "selfishness" is all about, and she (like most of us) has a warped view of what it means to be "selfish."

I told her, "You're so afraid of being selfish that you've gone to the other extreme and become a martyr. But those aren't your only two choices, you know."

I'm breaking down why so many of us are terrified of being selfish (and yet the alternative can be just as destructive), and how to strike a healthy balance, in this week's brand-new blog.

TIRED OF PUTTING YOURSELF LAST?

If you're feeling burnt out from taking care of everyone else at your own expense, or if you don't even know who you are and what you need/want because you've spent so much energy looking out for other people's needs … that's something we can help with in 1-on-1 coaching.

The whole point of coaching is to help you discover the REAL you — your needs, your wants, your desires, your passions — and then build a life that's right for that person (instead of living your life solely to make other people happy).

If that sounds like exactly what you need, and if you're ready to invest in yourself (maybe for the first time ever), then we should chat about 1-on-1 coaching!

Fill out the quick form on this page and we'll talk it out.

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