Boundaries & Grace with Taylor Chandler

One of the most common pairs - the Anxious-Avoidant Couple. Here are 8 Points for you to work on if this has been your pattern in dating.

If you are currently in this type of relationship, you will hear things you can your partner can work on together… with a therapist!

03:33 Anxious-Avoidant Pairing

05:03 I Was Anxious, Then Avoidant, Then Secure

07:32 Couple-Work 

09:16 Boundaries

15:21 Attunememt

17:43 Distance

19:19 The End of Negotiations

22:26 Make Believe

23:34 All That Time Wasted

26:27 Trauma Histories

27:17 Cycles

28:12 Halt - Get Help

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

For single people who want to vet better! Ask THESE 5 questions to get a better idea of who you're dealing with and if they're worth your time.

5 Questions you NEED to Ask Before Date 3

05:51 Social Media is a circus

08:18 “I’d Rather Be Single”

18:21 What Are You Looking For?

20:15 Hedging Your Bet

24:52 Do You Want Kids?

31:04 First Class vs. Economy Dating

36:00 “I Want Kids, but Only with the Right Person”

37:36 When Did Your Last Relationship End?

40:51 How Did Your Last Relationship End?

46:11 What Has Your Experience Been of Me So Far?

Pop the Balloon show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USOQid7YJ2s

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1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Can Women and Men *really* be friends? Should you even have opposite-gender friends if you’re in a romantic relationship?

04:37 Will I do paid matchmaking?
07:02 Free Coaching and Free Therapy - Sessions will be made public (https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/pLCXjOMz)
08:46 Can women be friends with men?
17:13 Context, Nuance, and Rigidity
20:13 Context of Male Friendships
24:44 How I Think Women Should Handle Male Friends
33:17 Picking Up New Opposite-Gender Friends
41:23 You Look Like a Mark
42:38 Have a Conversation with Your Significant Other
58:24 “My baby mama hates me and I deserve it. How do I create a better co-parent situation?”
1:01:28 “What dod you do when you acknowledge your bad behaviors and still commit to the relationship, but the victim is not being graceful or is having a hard time forgiving?”

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

The last 5 questions from my Live Q&A

00:38 Communication Skills

06:30 “Should I date someone I’m not physically attracted to?”

10:10 Look Better

15:16 How does Taylor deal with negativity online?

18:38 How to deal with the condescending nature of the question “Who Hurt You?”

21:37 Navigating STI/STD conversations in dating?

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Be sure to follow on Instagram @iamtaylorchandler to participate LIVE and submit questions!

How to stay hopeful and optimistic while dating?
Social Media Detox
Get clear on your Values and what you want
Being a Serious Person when Dating
Physical Appearance - Show up Ready
Serious Communication
Know your Strengths and Weaknesses
“I keep giving grace and they don’t give grace in return”
“How much time to spend before commitment?”
“How do I deal with a breakup?”

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Manage the conflict between wanting a relationship while having fear of becoming too attached, or attached to the wrong person!

At the end of the episode I give you 4 things you may want to consider when determining if the person you’re dating is worth the investment.

04:27 What does it mean to become “Attached”?

06:00 Your Attitude About Attachment

09:00 Fear of Becoming Dependent / Losing Yourself

09:41 Interdependency 

10:57 Willing and Open

13:46 Comment: “Vulnerability and Attachment is seen as weakness”

18:21 “I will stay single forever”

21:10 When Attachment really IS Weak

22:08 Good and Bad Managers

24:00 Do it Anyway and Do it Responsibly 

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Let's Review! Attachment is a Major Key for Better Relationships

Your Attachment Style helps you understand how you relate to others, what your triggers and blindspots are (and why), and gives you a map to what you Need to feel safe and happy.

Everyone has either an Insecure style or a Secure style.

Insecure Attachers struggle with maintaining healthy relationships due to excessive anxiety and/or avoidance.

The goal is to Shift to Secure attachment where you can have solid, lasting relationships. 

First and foremost, your relationship with yourself will improve as you get a better grasp on your emotions and thoughts. Then, you’re able to engage with others in new, healthier ways.

Pioneers of Attachment Theory: Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby

Volume 1 of Bowlby’s Attachment Trilogy: https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Loss-Vol-John-Bowlby/dp/0712674713

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

I see a clear rise in the number of women who say they are abstaining from physical intimacy. This can make dating difficult. I understand this personally!

It makes it even MORE difficult when you’re not really being honest with yourself and/or others about WHY you’re abstaining.

Here are some things to consider if you are dating while abstaining, and hopefully it is also helps men understand what questions to ask, where women are coming from in general, and how to navigate the conversation better

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Most people dating seem to be WAY more concerned with what they’re getting rather than what they can give!

Everyone is in relationships to fulfill some kind of personal goal but it becomes selfish and toxic when you lose sight of how you can support and nourish the one you’re with.

Today we’re talking about GIVING and RECIPROCATION.

I’m highlighting 5 ways YOU can reciprocate in a relationship so you can check how well you’re doing with things you can directly control TODAY.

References:

Obesity data:
https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html

https://minorityhealth.hhs.gov/obesity-and-african-americans#:~:text=How%20Does%20Obesity%20Affect%20African,women%20are%20overweight%20or%20obese.

Infertility: https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/infertility/conditioninfo/common#:~:text=About%209%25%20of%20men%20and,States%20have%20experienced%20fertility%20problems.&text=In%20one%2Dthird%20of%20infertile,problem%20is%20with%20the%20man.

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Manipulation Tactics - How to Spot Them and What to Do About It

What is DARVO?
DENY
ATTACK
REVERSE
Effects of DARVO
Resist DARVO

References:
 https://www.choosingtherapy.com/darvo/

https://bayareacbtcenter.com/reverse-darvo-for-combating-gaslighting-and-emotional-abuse/#:~:text=What%20Is%20DARVO%3F,the%20blame%20onto%20their%20victims.

Thank you for your support!

1-on-1: Interest Form

Cashapp: $taychand

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler