Are you growing as a person but feeling like you’re growing apart from your partner? In this video, I break down the High-Low Dynamic—what happens when someone with high self-esteem, high energy, and high responsibility (High SER) pairs with someone who is struggling with low self-esteem, low energy, or low responsibility (Low SER).

I’m Taylor Chandler, a licensed marriage and family therapist and personal development coach. Using my SER framework, I’ll explain why this dynamic creates tension in relationships, dating, and marriage—and what you can do about it.

We’ll cover:
-Signs you’re in a High-Low relationship
-How the H-L dynamic starts
-Two paths forward

This advice applies whether you’re dating, in a long-term relationship, or married. My goal is to help you become the best version of yourself and build the best possible relationship.

If you’re ready to do the work—individually or as a couple—use the link below to apply for a consultation.

👉 Work with me: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/jqyMCsr3
👉 More tools + writings: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/

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Responsibility is the “R” in my SER framework — and it’s one of the keys to a better life and higher attraction. In this video, I break down the gigantic miscommunication showing up in almost every couple, tell you the crucial difference between responsibility and accountability, and what makes taking responsibility so hard (especially in relationships). If you want to build better character and a healthier relationship, this one’s for you :)

03:30 Difference between Responsibility and Accountability

05:50 A Couple Problem

10:30 Responsibility and accountability go together

14:54 Who is worth coaching?

15:20 The relationship between responsibility and control

17:04 Which direction am I going?

24:17 Over-burdened with responsibilities

30:17 Enabled, coddled, misinformed 

34:40 America the land of the free

37:45 Human nature to find fault

38:52 Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

45:41 It’s really your fault

55:22 What I’m seeing in session

55:55 Society does not delude men about responsibility

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Higher quality relationships start with your energy. Simple shifts improve your life and attract the RIGHT people. In this episode, I give you 3 Markers & 3 Pathways to Higher Energy. 

08:28 The invisible thing going on all the time

11:57 What do we need to know?

19:45 The minority is interested in Better

17:20 Three markers and three pathways

17:36 Marker #1: Attitude

22:24 The way you move towards partnership

27:12 Handling setbacks, stop being a victim, move on

35:42 Marker #2: Mindset

43:08 Marker #3: Consistency

44:52 Judgment 

46:55 Three Pathways

47:05 Pathway #1: Audit

51:25 Pathway #2: Consumption

54:54 Pathway #3: Pro-social behaviors

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The majority of people who want  relationships say there aren't enough good people to date and marry. I agree. In this episode I talk about what to do about it.

02:00 Scarcity of attractive matches in the dating market
06:55 Biological imperatives ??
09:08 The truth of the minority
011:07 A dangerous move
13:28 Who is pursuing?
15:22  I would never! Who would ever?
19:33 Is this really why you’re single?
20:45 Are you over-inflated? 
23:40 The truth is high energy
28:00 Most people have fundamental issues
28:50 Prenups
33:38 Breakups
37:15 Delusions of thinking you’re a great persons
41:04 Different kinds of relationships
43:20 The competition in dating
46:09 Supply and demand
46:45 Good people and popularity
54:45 How low self-esteem shows up
01:03:00 Irrational emotion

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Welcome to Phase 2! The goal is high level self-development and high level relationships. Most people want it, only a few actually do it. But it's available to EVERYONE.

In this episode I explain the framework we'll be working out of for the foreseeable future.

Timestamps are approximate:

02:30 Regrouping from Phase 1 and years of this work

03:45 From business school to therapist school, shoutout to Dr. Erika Grafsky

08:30 Lunch with Marissa Layton in Atlanta

10:30 The broader relationship conversation

11:50 People who cannot or will not change for the better should be left behind

14:50  Be free from the ones who won't listen and don't care

16:10 The inherent value of every human being

17:50 People who value growth

20:44 A human architect and thought models

22:25 Winner winner

25:35 My definition of an attractive match

27:45 Are you going to do something about it or not?

29:35 Doing 'white people stuff'

31:25 Life-oriented results

32:05 Christianity and God are not synonyms

32:35 Fakers

35:35 Building yourself is a process and the ones who build are the best matches

36:12 Why we are the best matches

36:44 Self-esteem, Energy, Responsibility

37:05 Where do you fall on the spectrum?

40:30 Too easy and dumb to be negative

42:00 Scarcity in the dating market

44:40 'I'm not there yet'

47:30 Be honest and willing

49:00 Most people are not attractive matches

51:00 No one in their right mind would choose certain people

53:20 Becoming attractive

54:15 Wealthy is more than money

55:20 No competition for high energy

57:40 Let's win

01:00:00 My goal

01:01:15 People confusing each other because they have different goals

01:02:45 How to think for great relationships

01:04:00 If you learn what I teach you, you will win

01:07:00 Listening to people who aren't really trying to help you

01:08:10 Working with couples who want to be highly synergistic 

01:09:10 Some couples are just incompatible

01:11:00 Understand how individuals work together, should you cut your losses?

01:11:30 Prepare when you're single so you save time

01:13:45 An attractive match is everybody's type

01:15:15 Everyone wants to marry the same type of person

01:17:10 'How do I become a marry-able person?'

01:18:40 Attractive matches and physical qualities

01:19:50 Attractive matches do tend to look better

01:22:50 My aligned audience and ideal client

01:23:20 Self-actualization and relationship actualization

01:24:40 Minor leagues and major leagues

01:28:15 People whose purpose includes being single

01:29:00 I don't think relationship people are better

01:30:30 The disempowered man and the entitled woman

01:34:50 I do too many disclaimers

01:37:00 New interest form

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The Season 12 Finale! Let's bring everything from these past few months together.

I planned on going over just a few notes to wrap the season, but I was in the zone and we got a lot more out of this. Discussing the importance of bringing humanity and decency back to relationship conversations, while also making clear distinctions between high-value behavior and low-value behavior and the outcomes that come with the respective mindsets.

Few keywords for the episode:

-Two types of people in the world: the responsible and the irresponsible

-Importance of principle-driven behavior and decisions

-Disliking Black People being unequal to calling out “bad behavior”

-Eliminating dead weight from your life

-Intro to my frameworks on individual and relational development (Phase 2)

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We’ve had years of polarizing relationship content and we need to get clear on how to move forward.
In this episode, we dive into the key differences between pro-social and anti-social people, exploring where these traits stem from—specifically the aspects of someone’s upbringing. We discuss the importance of aligning with pro-social individuals to foster positive change in relationships and families. 

References:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/205097/percentage-of-poor-black-married-couple-families-in-the-us/#:~:text=U.S.%20poverty%20rate%20of%20Black%20married%2Dcouple%20families%201990%2D2023&text=In%202023%2C%206.5%20percent%20of,line%20in%20the%20United%20States.

https://blackdemographics.com/

https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2024/10/marriage-and-divorce.html

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Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

We’ve had years of polarizing relationship content and we need to get clear on how to move forward.

In this episode, we dive into the key differences between pro-social and anti-social people, exploring where these traits stem from—specifically the aspects of someone’s upbringing. We discuss the importance of aligning with pro-social individuals to foster positive change in relationships and families. 

References:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/205097/percentage-of-poor-black-married-couple-families-in-the-us/#:~:text=U.S.%20poverty%20rate%20of%20Black%20married%2Dcouple%20families%201990%2D2023&text=In%202023%2C%206.5%20percent%20of,line%20in%20the%20United%20States.

https://blackdemographics.com/

https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2024/10/marriage-and-divorce.html

Thank you for your support!

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Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
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YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Let me check myself, help you check yourself, and try to keep us balanced! In this episode, we're highlighting the issues of Radical Red Pill ideology, which is a response to problematic Radical Feminism ideology.

Let's make an effort to stay sane, stay reasonable, see the value in both sides, and use critical thinking to make responsible decisions for ourselves and our relationships.

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I think the whole episode is more interesting than just the Main Points! Here are the 5 Tips for Moving Forward with the Mission, 5 Markers of the Inferior Man, and everything else in between.

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