Brave Widow Show by Emily Tanner

September 09, 2025 BW 167: When Grief Days Get Hard: The 3-R Bad Day Protocol (Regulate • Relate • Reengage)

: BW 167: When Grief Days Get Hard: The 3-R Bad Day Protocol (Regulate • Relate • Reengage)

What to do when a hard day (or season) won’t let up — Emily’s 3-R Bad Day Protocol: Regulate, Relate, Reengage.

If you’re tired of feeling like you “went backwards,” this episode gives you a gentle, doable plan for the worst days — plus how to move through a longer season of suffering without burning out.

Key Takeaways

A hard grief day doesn’t mean you’re back at square one; it’s part of the process.

Don’t aim for “happy now.” Aim for grounded, peaceful, purposeful.

On hard days, do less; regulate first, relate second, reengage last.

In extended suffering, use a broader blueprint (help, healing, routine, movement, faith).

Chapters:

0:00 — Announcements: Free Four Seasons of Grief live training (Wed, Sept 10) + Grief Recovery Method group (Tuesdays, 12–2 pm CT, Sept 30–Nov 18; $400 creditable toward Academy or 1:1).

2:30 — Farm-life update: the donkeys! The “messy middle” analogy.

5:00 — Why healing looks worse before it looks better (closet/brush-clearing analogy).

6:30 — When milestones, dates, and “the body remembers” make life heavy.

10:00 — We’re not chasing “happy”; we’re building capacity for multiple emotions + grounded peace.

12:00 — Why many widows get stuck between Isolation (Season 2) and Self-Discovery (Season 3).

14:00 — The 3-R Bad Day Protocol:

Regulate your body (slow down, do less, food/sunlight/rest).

Relate (reach out; be witnessed, not fixed).

Reengage (one tiny thing: shower, pay one bill, sit in the sun).

20:00 — If it’s not a “bad day” but a season of suffering: switch to a fuller framework.

24:00 — The Chaos to Calm Blueprint: help, emotional healing, routine, movement, spiritual connection.

27:00 — A soft place to land + your next brave step.

✨ Work with Emily: Ready to stop just surviving and start rebuilding? Book a free consult at bravewidow.com.

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Ready for more support?

Book a free consult here: https://calendly.com/bravewidow/widow-consult-call

Download the Brave New Widow Starter Kit: A free guide to help you navigate the first steps of widowhood. → https://bravewidow.com/start

Free Training: Four Seasons of Grief — Wed, Sept 10 (replay available).

Grief Recovery Method Group: Tuesdays 12–2 pm CT, Sept 30–Nov 18, $400 (credited toward Brave Widow Academy or 1:1).

Brave Widow Academy: Next cohort starts in November.

I’m Emily Tanner. I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary. Nathan and I have four beautiful children together, and my world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.

Now, I love my life again! I’m able to experience joy, achieve goals and dreams I thought I’d lost, and rediscover this next version of me.

I did the work.

I invested in coaching for myself.

I learned what I needed to do to move forward and took the steps.

I implemented the tools and strategies that I use for my clients in my coaching program.

This is for you, if:

You want a faith-based approach to coaching

You want to move forward after loss, and aren’t sure how

You want to enjoy life without feeling weighed down by guilt, sadness, or regret

You want a guide to help navigate this journey to the next version of you

You want to rediscover who you are

Schedule a consult with Emily: https://calendly.com/bravewidow/widow-consult-call?month=2024-08