Brave Widow Show

Daniel Kopp is a fee-only fiduciary financial planner and founder of Wise Stewardship financial planning, where he helps young widows and widowers, as well as service members organize their financial lives by aligning their money with their deeply held values. He is an Air Force veteran after almost nine years as an officer on active duty.

On the personal front, Daniel is a widower After his wife Sarah passed away in late 2017 while he was still on active duty. Daniel is now married to his wife, Anna. And lives in the Sarasota, Florida area where they love to explore new places and learn new things, try interesting cuisines and serve in their local church.

We talk about:

-Working with money is not about dollar and cents.

-The financial pyramid

-Identifying goals

-Now, Soon and Later buckets

Quotes:

"The thing that I've found over the years working with people is money is not really about dollars and cents. It's about the hopes, the fears, the dreams that we attach to that, the goals, the values that are lived out. And money is just the tool in our modern society that many of these things come to pass."

"I fully believe that any widow can be empowered to learn about these things and do it on their own, but it sometimes it can be a very steep learning curve out there."

Links:

https://wingsforwidows.org/

https://www.napfa.org/

https://www.xyplanningnetwork.com/

https://financialtherapyassociation.org/

https://www.hhs.k-state.edu/pfp/

https://modernwidowsclub.org/

https://soaringspirits.org/

You can find Daniel at: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WiseStewardshipFP  

Website: https://wisestewardshipfp.com/

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The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

Cindy Lupica has been through so many traumatic events in her life, and yet she still pours into others, wants to give back to others, and is able to share her story here with you today. Cindy is a cancer survivor, advocate and coach, a dancer, teaches ballet and a widow. After losing her late husband, suddenly and unexpectedly, she was left with young children to raise and find her second new normal.

With her faith, she found her way now helping others as she entered into the widows ministry. Cindy is also an author. Her book is entitled, widowed After Cancer and Financial Loss, How One Woman Overcame Her Losses. Which can be found on all major platforms as well as an eBook.

We talk about:

-How to focus on healing and not on the past

-Finding community

-How every child grieves in their own way

Quotes:

"Keep hope there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take each moment at a time, each day at a time. Sometimes it's minute to minute at a time."

"If you stay in your grief and you only focus on your grief, it's only going to drag you down and pull you down more and it's gonna hold you down and you're never going to heal and move forward if you stay in that situation."

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The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube @bravewidow

Have you ever wondered why grief hurts so much? Or why we can feel like we're adapting to the new way of life. We've accepted that our person isn't coming back, but then we find ourselves almost reverting or going back to being in denial and thinking that we have this weird balance of I know they're not coming back, but I think this is just a bad nightmare and I'm having a hard time reconciling that. But wait a minute, I felt like I already settled those feelings. I got to nerd out a little bit and I spent some significant time reading a really cool book that I want to share with you, and I wanted to better understand why our brains work the way they do. Why we have such a hard time battling grief or understanding what's normal, what's not normal, if there is such a thing, and just why our minds and our emotions kind of work the way that they do.

We talk about:

Quotes-

“One of the reasons why grief is painful is just our understanding, or rather lack of understanding what it means to grieve, what to expect when a person that we love so intimately passes on or dies, and what the healing journey looks like. We're really, as a culture, just not educated on that and don't talk about it nearly.”

“One of the biggest points of frustration or fears that several of my widow friends have is that they're reverting and the reality is we can't go backwards. As you're healing and you're moving forward in life, there is no going backwards. The reality of these stages of grief or of these components is that we're just ping ponging all over the place.”

“The challenge is that there is no perfect timeline for grief and for grieving. There is no either or, there's not a well you've grieved and now you're done with that and you're moving on to being completely healed and this new life and this new journey. Congratulations. Here's your graduation certificate. You're now moved away from grief. That is just not the reality of what happens in grieving.”

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube @bravewidow

Teresa is very open, vulnerable, and incredibly brave as she shares about her experience with dating too soon. Being intimate too soon and dealing with this thing that those of us in the industry call Widows Fire. So let me introduce Teresa. Teresa Taylor Williams is a widow, an award-winning newspaper journalist, and a self-proclaimed grief butt kicker first losing her job to downsizing.

Then her husband, Ricky in 2014. She has found the true meaning of resilience. After her home was foreclosed, she lived in subsidized housing while raising her two teenage sons, worked various jobs to make ends meet and engaged in self-sabotaging behaviors in her attempts to cope with life. Without Ricky. Her grief journey has been a rocky one, and Theresa deems herself an expert in how not to grieve.

She found comfort in grief groups and therapy. In 2021, she founded two Become One Grief Support where she hosts a weekly virtual grief support group, as well as a podcast Just a Widow Talk, voices of Spouse and Partner Loss. She is pursuing a master's degree in social work and is currently a diversity director in Higher Education.

She resides in the Kansas heartland. 

We talk about:

Quotes-

“I thought I was strong before, like when he was here, but now, I know that I am so much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.  And that's something that I try to convey to others widows and widowers and partner loss folks, is that, there is good, you gotta look for it, you gotta dig for it.”

“If you had a healthy, intimate life, which we did,  it's like all of a sudden it's not, it's just shut down. And I'm like, I'm still young. I'm human. I have these desires, touch healing. Touch is healing. And it's like, what am I supposed to do?”

“Until we really cope with the loss, and that means sitting in it. And who wants to do that?  We don't wanna do it, but we gotta do it because as you and I know Emily, the only way out is through.”

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube @bravewidow

Jennifer Mullins became a widow in 2012 after her husband's sudden death from an accidental overdose. She was not prepared for the heartache that would follow. She found solace in support groups and other widows and reading stories of others who have traveled this path.

She has gradually learned to live with grief and find joy in life. She believes in paying it forward by being there for others who are experiencing grief. You can visit her and learn more [email protected] for her experience.

We talk about:

Quotes-

“You're gonna hit a wall, it could be eight months, it could be 12 months. But you're gonna feel like, oh my gosh, I'm right back at the beginning again.”

 “First year's hard, second year's harder.”

“It's finding those places where you can find that peace.” 

“It's nice to be able to finally give yourself permission to just go, things have changed. I've gotta do what works best for me. it's being okay with letting things go.”

“And now what I've realized is I can live with the uncertainty of life and still find joy and hope in it and find friendship. And I always say that there's such a difference between joy and happiness. Joy is like that deep feeling that you can have regardless of what is going on in life.”

“Never give up hope because it does get better and you can find joy and purpose and still have them with you, and still have them be a part of who you are.”

“And it does get better. You will not always have that sad heartbreak. You'll always feel those moments and you'll get hit by waves and, but you'll also learn you can survive those waves, that they won't kill you in the beginning. You think this is going to kill you. And then what I've learned over time is, no, it won't.”

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube @bravewidow

Jarrett’s mom was widowed with ten kids, five of which were still at home; their life insurance had expired only a few months before.  As widows, we should know best that life insurance is something we need, yet it’s something we can easily put off or ignore until it’s too late.  Jarrett’s passion for widows, life insurance, and eternal life is evident and contagious!

Making decisions as a widow can be overwhelming.  Today, Jarrett Weiss breaks down the basics of what to consider when purchasing life insurance, why using a broker instead of your current insurance can benefit you, how much coverage you may need, and more.  We even talk about the one kind of insurance greater than life insurance - eternal life insurance!

We talk about:

Quotes-

“He probably thought, well, I'm healthy… but when none of us have a crystal ball, we don't know what's gonna go on in the future.”

“I don't wanna see somebody like my mom have to go through raising five still at home. Without a main breadwinner. She was a stay-at-home mom.”

“...there's one thing more important than life insurance and if you were to pass away today and you don't know 100% for sure, what's gonna happen to you if you, if you were to die with, you're gonna spend eternity in Heaven or Hell that's far more important than any type of financial burden, any type of investment strategy,”

“...that's one of the things that's great about working with certain companies and working with a broker, just having that direct line.”

“...insurance is supposed to transfer risk from you to an insurance company. So with that risk, you need to understand what is at stake. If I were to pass away, what crater, what hole, what void am I leaving with my family?”

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube @bravewidow

Content Warning: miscarriage, suicide, drugs, alcohol, PTSD, and death.

At the age of 26, Janine tragically lost her husband (age 27) to suicide.  She shares her experience navigating the traumatic events and offers advice for young widows.  She was able to find freedom from overwhelm by asking for help, designating a point person to speak with companies, and accepting help from family members.

Janine recommends:

Quotes-

I don't wanna force him to get help if he doesn't want to.

 …the day after he died, I actually found out I was pregnant the next day.

And so I was terrified…what am I gonna do? I have another child on the way, and he's not here.

I didn't want their pity or I didn't want people saying, oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I wish people would've been like, how can I help you? How are you feeling today?

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube @bravewidow

This episode is designed with supporters of widows and the grieving in mind!  Widows, share this with your family, friends, or support group to help them better understand your mindset, how grief has affected you, and how to best support you. 

Learn how being widowed impacts a person, the mindset widows have, sayings (platitudes) to avoid, and what to say instead.  Help support widows in a way that means the most to them.

Today I share:

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com. 

As humans we like to think we have control, even with the timing of a terminal diagnosis.

Renee openly shares her journey of anticipatory grief, control, invalidation, dark humor as an outlet, and so much more.

Renee talks about:

Show quotes:

“Miracles are of God and cancer treatments are of reality.”

“People wanna feel like they have control over their lifestyle and what they can prevent. But I think through all of this, through the four years of caregiving and through this, watching him die, and I realize that… there's no control.”

“You don't realize how much easier it is to walk that tightrope with the safety net of your person underneath you.”

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future. Learn more at bravewidow.com.

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones. I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary. Nathan and I have four beautiful children together. My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him. With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future. I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube @bravewidow

The holidays can be a brutal time for people who are grieving. Even songs like “All I Want for Christmas is You” and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” feel different when you’re missing your person.

Today, our panel of guests discuss tips for surviving the holidays, ways to honor your loved one during the holidays, and alternative ideas for skipping them altogether.

You’ll also hear our take on whether grief gets easier or harder (or something else) after year one.

Our speakers (Bio’s below):
Suzanne Elvidge
https://www.thewidowshandbook.com/
Twitter: @HandbookWidows

Dr. Clark Roush
Twitter: @DrClarkRoush

Keri and Brittany Young - GriefBox
https://grief-box.com/
Instagram: @shopgriefbox
TikTok: @griefbox

Tips for surviving the holidays:
Lean into the pain
Light a candle and tell stories/memories
Find a purpose in the pain
Pain is a non-negotiable
Change the tradition
Announce your holiday intentions early and clearly
Treat yourself to something or make a donation
Give yourself grace

Ways to honor your loved one during the holidays:
Hang their stocking
Listen to a playlist of their favorite songs
Eat their favorite foods
GriefBox place setting - a way to keep your loved one at the table
Write memories in or on Christmas ornaments
Table runner or tablecloth with pictures
Scavenger hunt to find memories hidden around the house

Holiday alternative ideas:
If you want to ignore Christmas completely, you can!
Watch your favorite movies
Binge on box sets
Switch off the radio, tv, and social media
Go for a walk
Do what speaks to you

Tips for going out:
Take something of theirs with you
Have an anchor or touchstone
Arrive early so you’re not walking into a room full of people
Scope out the place and find your path to escape if you need a few minutes to yourself

Notable quotes:

Suzanne Elvidge-
“So you're grieving who you were together, you're grieving who you are now and you're grieving what you would've done together.”

“I'm not the me I was before and I'm happy with who I am.”

“You're allowed to say no to stuff. You're allowed to say yes to stuff and change your mind later. You're allowed to say no to stuff and then go, actually, can I, would you mind if I can…”

Dr. Clark Roush-
“Our journey is different… it is not a competition.”

“Tears know who they can trust.”

Keri - GriefBox
“...we just wanted him there at the table and he was.”

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Guest Bio’s

Suzanne Elvidge
I'm a freelance medical writer, and I also write fiction and the blog The Widow's Handbook. Tim died suddenly in February 2018 from type 2 diabetes complications.

Dr. Clark Roush
Dr. Clark Roush is in his 37th year as conductor of University Singers. He is the endowed chair for the performing arts and chairs the Music Department at York University. He is frequently contracted as a guest conductor and is slated to conduct in Carnegie Hall in March of 2024.

He was married to Sue, a.k.a "The Queen", for 38+ years. She died in January 2020 from pancreatic cancer. They have two sons, both of whom are married, and the youngest has given me two granddaughters, so my proudest claim to fame now is "Papa." I will always be 'minus one' and continue learning to thrive as a single man. I creatively wrote my way through the first 2 years of my grief journey and am currently trying to get them published for whatever benefit they might hold for others.

Keri and Brittany Young - GriefBox
We’re Keri and Brittany, a mother-daughter team dedicated to helping others through their grieving process. When we lost Jacob, our beloved son, and brother, in a tragic motorcycle accident at the age of 22, we found ourselves face-to-face with the ugly reality of grief. We know firsthand how difficult and lonely the grieving process can be. We also know how hard it is for our close friends and family to know what to do or say in an attempt to comfort us. That’s why we created GriefBox care packages.

As the holidays approach, we’re nervous about celebrating our first Thanksgiving without Jacob. This year, we handmade a place setting for Jacob, to honor his memory. We believe that although he may be physically gone, he still deserves a place at the table.

We made a few extra place settings for families with an empty seat at their holiday celebrations this year. They can be found online on our website https://grief-box.com/ and GriefBox Etsy store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/GriefBox?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=1318296244.

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future. Learn more at bravewidow.com.

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary. Nathan and I have four beautiful children together. My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him. With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future. I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:
Twitter @brave_widow
Instagram @brave_widow
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow
YouTube @bravewidow