Brave Widow Show

Being a widow is lonely.  Isolating.  Brutal.

Today in episode 28 of the Brave Widow show, I’m going to share five reasons why having a community during grief is important and five things to look for to find the community that’s a good fit for you.

We talk about:

~ Grief must be felt

~ We're not taught how to process loss

~ Shared experience of loss

~ Wisdom and insight for decision making

~ A way to give back to others

Quotes:

~ You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. - Jim Rohn

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The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

Today’s episode covers why grief and the new normal is so tough.  We know it’s hard, living this new life without our person, but we don’t always think about all the little things that feed into that.  

Grief is about embracing the concept of AND not OR.  

You now live a life with an evident and strange duality…

The past two weeks have been incredibly challenging for me.  I’ve experienced some real highs and lows, which painfully remind me how much grief changes every little thing about our lives.

As we experience grief, we no longer are naive to the fragility of life.  That everything can be snatched away from us and changed in an instant.  Our hopes, our dreams, our plans… all gone.

We value the little things more, may be less easily offended or annoyed, and focus on the bigger picture of things. 

Challenges with grief and the new normal examples:

Monday, 3/13:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

Saturday/Sunday:

Monday (3/20):

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

In today's episode I get to talk to an amazing young woman by the name of Alosina Wellington, and Alosina is gonna share with us not only her overall story, but also some of her best tips and advice for other young widows. Alosina has been widowed for about seven years now, so she has more perspective on her experience and time for when she was first widowed and actually came across a post that she made in a mutual Facebook group where she shared some of her best tips and pieces of insights for young widows, and I was just really impressed with how beautifully she articulated them and what she shared from her heart that I just randomly reached out to her and asked her to come on the show, and I'm so glad that she agreed. So let me introduce you to Alosina. She is a widowed mother of three, a full-time legal assistant and a God-fearing woman.

We talk about:

~ Memorizing scripture

~ Practising gratitude

~ Feel your feelings

~ Give yourself grace

Quotes:

~ "...memorize Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I remember feeling like every time things got hard. I would just recite that in my head. I would repeat it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I just remember that scripture because it didn't say that you can do one thing or two things. It says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

~ "I remember feeling exactly that way in Psalms 91. At the end of that scripture, it talks about how God saves those who loved him. And I was so angry at God. My pastor at the time, he encouraged me, he said, have it out with God. Share your feelings. Just let it out. Don't keep things bundled in your heart because that's just gonna do the opposite of what you need."

You can connect with Alosina at:

TikTok- @alosina_206

Instagram- @alosinamw206

Facebook- @Alosina Masaniai

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The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

Laura Sinclair (@flourishorganizing) is a professional home organizer and the owner of Flourish Organizing.  She works with clients one-on-one, helping guide them through decluttering their belongings and reorganizing their spaces to maximize their storage and increase efficiency in their homes.  Laura has taught students and adults of all ages and enjoys working with clients individually, as well as in groups, to teach skills for creating spaces in which they can thrive. 

What Laura loves the most about her job is connecting with people.  She is honored to walk alongside her clients as they reflect on their lives, their homes, their memories, and how their belongings can help support their current goals, responsibilities, and desires.  Laura brings the tenants of her Christian faith, such as gratitude and joy, into her work.  In her spare time, Laura volunteers as a prayer minister.  

We talk about:

~ When is it time to go through your spouses belongings

~ How to get started in home organization

~ The importance of finding a home for your belongings

~ Utilizing prayer

Quotes:

~ "Are there items that don't have a home yet? Because they're going to be clutter. If something doesn't have a spot in your house, then it's really hard to put it away because now that item has decisions that go with it as you don't know where it goes. But if everything already has a home, it's pretty easy to run through for example, put the dishes away because everything has a spot."

~ "I would say there is no right answer. It's kind of like the grief process. Everybody is going through that process differently. And so I would always encourage people to give themselves grace, give themselves time not rush into it, wait until they feel like it's the right time to do that."

You can find Laura at:

Website: https://www.flourishorganizing.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flourishorganizing/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/flourishorganizing/

Email: [email protected]

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

In today's episode I share five tips for networking as an introvert and how to actually enjoy it!

And I know what you're probably thinking, especially if you're an introvert, this is not even possible. But I promise you, someone who is a hardcore, introverted preference type like myself. I am at a place where I really enjoy networking and meeting new people, and you can too! This is actually a course that's going to be hosted within the Brave Widow community. So if you're not a member yet, go to brave widow.com and sign up for our membership community, because this is just a taste of the types of courses and education and things that we offer to our members inside of the community.

We talk about:

~ What defines an introvert

~ Why introverts are good at networking

~ How you can enjoy networking as an introvert

~ My view on small talk

Quotes:

~ "Introverts have a lot of strengths when it comes to networking and my recommendation is that if you're an introvert, you really double down on those strengths."

~ "At the end of the day, small talk is really that bridge that helps us get from being strangers or being people who don't really know each other very well, to potentially being a really good friend or connection or relationship in the future."

~ "Be a connector of people where possible in your relationships. You will become more valuable in a lot of your relationships by being willing to do this."

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The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

In today's episode we talk about finance basics. How to get started with finances, how to create a budget, how to start thinking about getting out of debt, when to work with a financial coach and more.

Our guest speaker is financial coach, Seth Connell (@coach_connell) who has been a financial coach since 2018. In his time coaching, he has helped his clients pay off over 2 million dollars of debt. He also earned his law degree completely debt free in 2022. Using the practices and principles he teaches, he is passionate about helping people achieve financial freedom and create the lives they want to have.

We talk about:

~ Learning to be okay with discomfort because that is where growth happens.

~ There's no biological growth into personal financial knowledge.

~ How to see budgeting in a good way.

~ When it would be a good time to talk to financial coach

~ A budget being our way to freedom, not a way of just being restricted in life.

Quotes:

~ "...money and the way that we handle it is a reflection of the disposition of our heart. It shows the things that matter to us. It shows what we value, it shows our priorities, and it can be uncomfortable really taking an honest look at that and saying, well, this is the way I'm handling my money now, and it just isn't that great."

~ "We don't know the things that we were never taught, and there's no financial puberty. We don't just grow into this knowledge. It doesn't just happen to us, like the changes that happens with our minds and our bodies. There's no biological growth into personal financial knowledge."

~ "Ultimately what matters is not where we've come from. It's where we're going to."

You can find Seth at:

Website: https://coachconnell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachConnellPage/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coach_connell/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/87812420/

Things mentioned:

~ Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey

~ The Ramsey show podcast

~ John Deloney podcast

~ Rachel Cruze Show

~ The Clark Howard Podcast

~ Grief Recovery Method book

~ Every Dollar app

~ YNAB app

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

Today we're gonna talk about why it feels like we get stuck in grief. Why time doesn't magically heal all wounds. Why we're ultimately not prepared to handle grief and loss and what you can actually do about it.

We talk about:

~ Power of words.

~ Misconceptions that we have learned about grief and how to process loss.

~ How others are ill prepared to help us navigate grief

~ Who is ultimately responsible

Quotes:

 ~ "..no one else has the ability to influence how you feel, how you feel, and how you respond to something is controlled by you."

~ "Grief is a human response that is normal and natural. There's nothing wrong or defective with you. Loss can cause us to experience all sorts of emotions, sadness, anger, bitterness, denial, frustration, so many different emotions that grief can bring upon us, that is totally normal."

~ "We’re taught how to acquire things; not how to lose them."

Resources Mentioned:

~ How to Talk to a Widow (bravewidow.com) - BW episode 011

~ Four Reasons Why Grief is Hard (bravewidow.com) BW episode 016

~ The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Mary-Frances O'Connor

~ The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman

Resources by John W. James and Russell Friedman can be found at:

https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

https://www.facebook.com/griefrecoverymethod/

Grief Recovery (@GriefRecovery) · Twitter

https://twitter.com/GriefRecovery

https://www.instagram.com/griefrecoverymethod/

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

Have you thought recently:

-Should I get a new puppy?

-I have a new puppy, and I'm so frustrated!

-I've tried training my dog, but it's not working

Puppies are amazing and they bring all kinds of joy and sometimes frustration into our world. But the reality of it is that many times when someone loses a significant other or any loved one, they may get a dog or people may gift them one. And while I don't recommend that you gift anyone the responsibility of a dog, I do think that it's important that if you have a new companion, a new dog, or a new puppy in the house, that you have a really good relationship and are fully trained in order to train and have the best relationship possible with your dog. So let me introduce you to Michele.

Michele Lennon has been in the pet care industry for over 20 years. She started her career in a veterinarian's office as an assistant while learning the ropes of the animal care industry. She started a pet sitting dog daycare business. She was bitten, (not by a dog), by the entrepreneurial bug, and has gone on to own four additional pet businesses since those beginning days at the vets. Michele now offers online education for new puppy owners and their canine companions across the globe.

We talk about:

~ Ways we could be misunderstanding our dog

~ When is it the best time to get a puppy

~ What kind of expectations you should have as a new puppy owner

~ Misinterpreting your dogs body language

Quotes:

~ "...even beyond that first year is sometimes going to feel like a roller coaster. That's what we call it, where things are gonna go well, then it's gonna drop off and things are gonna pick back up again. And this kind of goes along with the growth and development of a puppy..."

~ "Air on the side of caution for sure. And expectations are such a huge part of what we cover in the training process because many new puppy owners have really high expectations that are out of range for the age appropriate activities for the puppy."

You can find Michele at: howtotrainadreamdog.com

She also has a free gift for you. She has a new puppy starter kit, which is for getting started videos and a resource packet for owners trying to navigate potty training and new puppy ownership.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

Grief: Is Year Two Harder than Year One? 

For some people, it seems like the second year of grief is harder. For other people, it seems like the first year of grief is harder, and this is often a question that newly widowed folks really want the answer to, because let's be honest, those first few months and probably that first year, you are in full survival mode and you want to know, am I ever going to get out of feeling lost, of feeling overwhelmed, of feeling like I don't know who I am?

We talk about:

-Everyone processes grief on their own unique timeline

-Complicated grief or trauma impacts the time it takes to heal or return to a normal state of functioning

-Some people choose not to heal or process grief; they deflect/avoid or cling onto the pain refusing to let go

Quotes:

“We don't have to live in pain and suffering in order to remember and show that we love our loved one. But for some people, they really just dig into that pain.” 

“Everyone has unique problems, challenges, and traumas that they go through and processing grief, and so that's one reason why this makes it a very difficult question to answer.”

“If you're on the fence or if you feel like everyone says year two is harder and I'm never gonna be happy and I'm never gonna find a life that I enjoy and I'm always gonna be miserable. If you tell yourself those things over and over and over, you are creating that future for yourself. So if you can't work through some of those things, then find a community that will help you.”

Book mentioned:

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Dr. Mary Frances O'Connor

Podcast mentioned:

Four Reasons Why Grief is Hard (bravewidow.com)

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

Sheyna James is extremely transparent and authentic. She has overcome tragic loss and uses that time of her life to help others who are going through difficult times to discover God's unique purpose and divine destiny as disciples of Jesus. She was a widow and single mom of two boys for 13 years, and recently was blessed to find love again.

She is now married to Anthony James and they are a blended family with six children. Sheyna is a certified coach, speaker and trainer with John Maxwell team and the owner of Top Dots Digital Marketing Agency.

We talk about:

-the fear of loving again

-it's okay to be where you are

-blocking off time for yourself

Quotes:

"Feel the feels, that's the only way you're gonna get out of it."

"You cannot keep filling everybody's cup from empty. You have to take care of yourself.

"It's okay to be where you are. I think so many times people are trying to pull us so quickly out of our grief that we don't have the time to properly grieve so that we can move on.

You can find Sheyna at:

sheynajamesconsulting.com

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow