Breaking Bread Podcast

Parenting is hard. Should we scold? Punish? Praise? Or ignore? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian and Alison Sutter walk us through the dense undergrowth of parenting kids. To discern the path, they give us two lenses: grace and truth. Together these lenses will help us parent our children wisely. Yet if we fail to use either one or both, we'll surely lose our way.

Content contained in this episode:

• Good parenting requires a growth mindset. Determine to learn and grow as a parent.
• Jesus was "full" of grace and truth. Healthy parenting is "full" of grace and truth.
• Grace is love that springs from mercy.
• Truth is love that springs from boundaries and regulation.
• Four parenting styles immerge when we vary grace and truth.
• • Low grace and low truth yields a dismissive parenting style.
  • • Characterized by apathy, hesitation and separation
  • Low grace and high truth yields a judging parenting style.
  • • Characterized by rules, authoritarianism and a focus on behavior
  • High grace and low truth yields a permissive parenting style.
  • • Characterized by avoidance of pain and indulgence
  • High grace and high truth yields a "truth and grace" parenting style.
  • • Characterized by a willingness to be influenced while also have clearly communicated expectations
    • Through parenting God intends to shape parents more into His likeness.

Visit our website at https://www.accounseling.org

All of us tend to our physical hygiene. It is important that we do. Little attention, however, is given to mental hygiene. In this episode Ted Witzig Jr. urges the listener to employ four simple mental hygiene tips in the new year.

Some things we see clearly and yet, other things are blind spots to us. Because of this, the generations can clash in their ideals. Commitment, change and freedom are all such ideals that vary widely among the generations. In this episode, a spirit of hearing and learning is cast by participants Amber Miller (Millennial), Tim Funk (Baby-Boomer) and Matt Kaufmann (GenXer) in such a way that each learns and can appreciate each other.

We are not self-made people. We are influenced. We are molded. Each one of us has been born into a generation and that generation has molded us. In this episode of Breaking Bread Tim Funk, Amber Miller and Matt Kaufmann dialogue about different generations and learn from each other.

The best way to be helpful to an unattached child is to direct them back to their parents. In this episode of Breaking Bread Craig Stickling answers some direct questions regarding attachment disorder. His answers are both practical and hopeful.

Critical content contained in this episode:

• Question: How can the believing community be helpful with the unattached child?

Answer: Always direct the unattached child back to their parents.

• Question: Is unattachment unique only to non-biological children such as foster children and adoptive children?

Answer: No. Biological children can undergo attachment trauma in the early months of life also.

• Question: Will early attachment trauma always result in attachment disorder with our children?

Answer: No. Each child is unique. Temperaments play a part. Some children are more disposed to connection and relationship.

• Question: Is there hope for the unattached child to become attached?

Answer: Yes. While healing takes time, positive momentum and difference can be seen in surprisingly short time frames if proper supports are put in place.

• Question: Does God understand attachment disorder?

Answer: Yes. God's call to mankind, to trust Him and to walk in relationship is exactly the attachment issue. He longs for our attachment to Him as we long for our children to be attached to us.

• Question: What encouragement can you give parents who are dealing with attachment disorder?

Answer: You will be seen as trustworthy to your child.

• • You will be able to handle their misbehavior.
  • You will be able to remain calm during stressful encounters.
  • You will be able to protect them.

* You will be an advocate for their healing and growth.

• Question: What resources would you offer those who want to learn more about attachment disorder?

Answer: Nancy Thomas – Families by Design, www.attachment.org

Matthew and Fawn Bradley, www.beatitudehouse.org

Lee Anne Cooper, https://www.unplowedground.org/

Description: Sometimes the struggles while parenting is not rebellion in the child, nor is it poor parenting in the parent. Sometimes the problem lies in the attachment between parents and children. This is a brain problem – with answers. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling teaches us about Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Critical content contained in this episode:

• Attachment is a deep and lasting connection between a child and a caregiver established in the first 36 months of life.
• Attachment is a construct built over time.
• Attachment impacts a person's self worth, emotional management and ability to build relationships.
• Characteristics of poor attachment in a child can manifest itself in the following ways:
• • detached and unresponsive behavior
  • difficulty being comforted
  • defiant behavior
  • poor boundaries with strangers
  • difficulty trusting parents
• While cause and effect is difficult to tease out, Reactive Attachment Disorder rises from early trauma and stresses and should be understood as an infliction of the brain.
• • While trauma and stresses may be present in the early years of a child it puts them at higher risk of Reactive Attachment Disorder but doesn't mean that they necessarily will suffer with attachment issues.
• The road to recovery includes reorienting a child's brain toward their parents. Establishing "mom and dad know best" and can assure safety along with unconditional love is foundational.

Resource: "When love is not enough" by Nancy Thomas

Sometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages.

3 Small Things

Be Purposeful

• Highly happy couples tend to put God at the center of their marriage. They focus on Him, not their spouse, for fulfillment and happiness.

Be Present

• Highly happy couples choose gratefulness for how their spouse realistically meets their needs instead of longing for something which is difficult or impossible for their spouse to meet.

Be Positive -

• When highly happy couples experience hurt, they extend grace and assume their mate's intentions were pure and have a reasonable explanation.

Resource: "The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference" by Shaunti Feldhahn.

Addictions of all kind concern us. Fortunately there is hope. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Roger Gasser walks us through what addiction treatment looks like. Seeing a path through addiction is, in itself, hopeful.

The following questions will be addressed in the podcast:

1. What to do when a family member is addicted but is in denial.
2. What is an Intensive Outpatient Program and when is it needed? When is it recommended?
3. What is Residential Treatment and when is it needed? When is it recommended? What should I look for in choosing one?

What are the pros and cons of 28-day versus 90-day treatment?

Jesus lived in community. Interpersonal, face to face relationships, with people. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amber Miller makes a strong case for community, especially for the single. What is community and how is it done? Turns out community is critical for personal well-being and many times requires intentionality on our part.

Brian Sutter and Craig Stickling provide very practical advice on what to look for and how to engage our children with social anxiety in this episode of Breaking Bread. Be informed. Be equipped. Be encouraged.