Breaking Bread Podcast

Both guilt and shame are similar feelings. Both can be triggered for similar reasons. But they each motivate us toward drastically different ends. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. sorts out the distinctions between guilt and shame and how we should respond to each.

Birth is sacred and yet, so is death. For many people they will have the opportunity and responsibility to care for their folks as they age and pass. This responsibility is met with challenges, difficulties, opportunities, and blessings. Roger Gasser and Tim Funk let us in on some of these responsibilities and help prepare us to walk these important days with our aging parents.

• Realize the aging process of giving up control.
  • Give parents control where you can, as control is taken away.
• Realize every situation is difficult.
  • Be careful when comparing your situation to the next. They are not the same.
• Realize communication with the entire family is important.
  • Be patient with family members as understanding comes at different rates and at different times.
• Realize grief management is needed. From physical to emotional, the losses are many.
  • Walk with your loved one through the cycle of grief.
• Realize that guilt on many levels is likely.
  • Use the following stems often: "I love you." "Please forgive me." "I forgive you." "Thank you."

At some level, we all want to be successful. Yet success can have ill-effects. On this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Fred Witzig tackle this topic of success. Approaching the topic from a historical, clinical and biblical perspective helps provide insight into this "success" we all want.

Show Notes:

How healthy is my success?

• Success should promote humility.
• Success should not promote arrogance.
• Success should promote thanksgiving.
• Success should not promote entitlement.
• Success should promote a dependence on God.
• Success should not promote an independence from God.
• Success should promote a healthy mind.
• Success should not promote out of balance.
• Success should promote good relationships.
• Success should not promote negligence.
• Success should promote a healthy view of God.
• Success should not promote misconceptions of God.
• Success should promote a high view of people.
• Success should not promote a condescending view of people.
• Success should promote joy.

Conviction of truth. Compassion for people. Context for our society. And comfort in Christ. These are our goals. Join Ted Witzig Jr. as he speaks to the important topic of gender and sexual identity with grace and truth.

Conviction of truth. Compassion for people. Context for our society. And comfort in Christ. These are our goals. Join Ted Witzig Jr. as he speaks to the important topic of gender and sexual identity with grace and truth.

Conviction of Truth

• Mark 10:6-9
  • Gender is a divine creation.
  • Marriage between a man and a woman is a divine institution.
  • Fidelity is the divine intention.

Compassion for People

• See people as Christ sees them. Love them.
  • We are created in God's image.
  • We are loved by God.
  • We have undying souls.
  • We are in need of salvation.

Context for our Society

• Common Cultural Script
  • I feel attracted to my same sex.
  • Attraction is a central identifier to who I am as a person.
  • Happiness is found in fulfillment of my identity.
  • I must live out my same sex attraction to flourish as a person.
• People do not choose their sexual attraction. Attraction is complex.
• Changing sexual attraction is not simple. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it does not.

Comfort in Christ

• Jesus attracted people who had brokenness.
• The repair that Jesus offers is much deeper than sexual orientation.
• Jesus offers us an alternative script and it is good news for all of us.
  • I feel attracted to my same sex. This is just one example of brokenness in my life.
  • Sexual attraction is not the central identifier of my life. Rather, my identity in Christ is who I am at the core.
  • Happiness is found in fulfillment of my identity in Christ.
  • Human flourishing happens when I am conformed to Christ's likeness. Thus, I do not need to act on sinful sexual urges.
• Jesus offers the good news of conversion to anyone who wants it. A transformation occurs when we were once slaves to our brokenness and become new creatures with new minds set free to live according to Christ's example.

Empathy is a gift we give to others. It is a gift for many reasons, not the least of which, is the selflessness required. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amber Miller flushes out empathy. She helps us walk the fine line of looking within ourselves and accessing the God given skill set to turn outward and connect with another person.

• Empathy is feeling with people.
• Empathy is not fixing people's hurt.
• Empathy is recognizing, acknowledging, and connecting with another person's emotion.
• Empathy is not talking.
• Empathy requires selflessness by not making the interaction about us.
• Empathy does not require a shared experience.
• Empathy requires vulnerability on the part of the giver and the receiver.
• Empathy does not require complete understanding of another person's experience.
• Empathy is built by listening to another's perspective.
• Empathy is eroded by minimizing another's experience.
• Empathy is built by prayer.
• Empathy is eroded by ignorance.
• Empathy flourishes when the hurting person gives the helping person grace to try.
• Empathy withers when the hurting person lords their hurt over another.
• Empathy flourishes when the helping person gives the hurting person grace to share.
• Empathy withers when the helping person lords their perspective over the hurting person.
• Empathy is perfectly exampled in Christ, who experienced humanity fully and is now our advocate before the father.

Connection in marriage is possible. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer shares with us three keys in connecting with our spouse. Accessibility, responsiveness and engagement go a long way in moving us in the right direction - toward each other.

Marriage is far more than a living arrangement. It is a living relationship which meets a core need we each have for connection. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer exposes this core need and coaches us on how to achieve it.

• Connection in marriage models the connection God desires with us - one in which life flows between us. Christ is the vine and we are the branches.
• Every spouse desires connection. Connection answers "yes" to the questions, "Do I matter to you? Are you there for me?"
• Withdrawal is a poor but common response to loss of connection. It in fact drives further disconnection. Withdrawal is when a person pulls away from their spouse in silence and inattention.
• Aggression is a poor but common response to loss of connection. It, in fact, drives further disconnection. Aggression is when a person pursues their spouse with angst and negative accusation.
• Underneath our withdrawal and aggression is hurt. Hurt is the pain that comes from lack of connection. At the surface disagreement between the spouses is apparent, yet spouses actually agree on this one need – connection.
• Self-reflection is key to navigating disconnection. Learning why we respond in certain ways and assuring our spouse that though our reactions are imperfect, connection is desired.
• Sitting with difficult emotions is key to navigating disconnection. Learning how to face unpleasant emotions and make sense of them with our spouses is necessary.

Connection is made by being available, responsive and engaged with your spouse.

Conflict happens. Some conflict can be avoided. All conflict needs resolve. Sometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages.

3 Small Things

Be Purposeful

• Highly happy couples find that when they can't resolve conflict before bedtime, they choose to sleep on it. If anger remains in the morning, they don't let it go unresolved; they deal with it.

Be Present

• Highly happy couples treat one another with intentional kindness; they joke and they challenge, but they try to never do it in ways their mate would perceive as disrespectful or hurtful.

Be Positive

• When highly happy couples inevitably experience hurt feelings and conflict, they eventually reconnect by mutually sharing a private signal that says "We're okay."

Taken from "The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference" by Shaunti Feldhahn

Uncertainty, unpredictability, unreliability, riskiness, chanciness, unsureness, changeability - 2020. It's one thing to have expectations gone unmet. It's another thing to be so uncertain that expectations can't even be set. Those are the days we are in. And yet, there is an advantage these days afford. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller helps us see those advantages.

• We learn flexibility. A lot is out of our control.
• We learn childlikeness. God is our Father.
• We learn dependence. God is our supplier.
• We learn to be responsible in those things we know.
• We learn to shift our trust from those things uncertain to the one who is – God.