Breaking Bread Podcast

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting.

Six Signposts:

1. Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set.
2. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse.
3. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important.
4. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand the nature of addiction. Such understanding will help them understand the betraying spouse and why they do the things they do.
5. Healthy boundaries: Boundaries protect. Spouses help protect the other by establishing boundaries. By way of boundaries, both safety and trust is built.
6. Forgiveness: Following Christ's example, couples extend the grace each needs to move forward.

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting.

Six Signposts:

1. 1. Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set.
   2. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse.
   3. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important.
   4. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand the nature of addiction. Such understanding will help them understand the betraying spouse and why they do the things they do.
   5. Healthy boundaries: Boundaries protect. Spouses help protect the other by establishing boundaries. By way of boundaries, both safety and trust is built.
   6. Forgiveness: Following Christ's example, couples extend the grace each needs to move forward.

Believers care about calling. Is God calling me to this assignment? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amber Miller (Missionary Care Director) helps us see calling as more than the assignment. She gives 5 suggestions for understanding what it means to be called.

Five important perspectives on following God's call:

1. There is purpose in the process of working out one's calling.

God is not only interested in the final assignment. He wants to use the process of discernment to grow us.

1. We are sent after the pattern of Christ's sending.

"As my Father hath sent me, even so send I you." John 20:21

1. Calling has much to do with who we are.

We are called into being. Be a royal priesthood the Scriptures say.

1. Calling is more than an assignment.

Calling should not be compartmentalized. Instead, our work, home and church lives flow out of one calling.

1. Calling is confirmed in community.

Fellow believers help us determine if God is calling us to certain assignments.

[email protected]

Learn and Discern Groups: www.harvestcall.org/learn-discern

Meditation is in vogue. Mindfulness is in fashion. yet, the Scriptures have spoken to this discipline for several millennia. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter walks us through the what, why and how of meditation.

Show notes:

Behind our vices is often a lie we believe. Reversing the lie goes a long way in reversing the vice. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan and Matt speak to the health that comes by way of truth. As truth embodied, Christ wants to upset our lies.

We live in a broken world and wounds happen. Furthermore, wounds compound and compact on top of each other. They build up over time. While some wounds are huge (abuse, etc) wounds don't have to be huge to be impactful. In fact, often, the subtle unnoticed hurts pack the biggest punch because they go without our notice and their effect is assumed negligible.

Wounds give way to lies and lies give way to vice.

A healthy life skill is being able to heal from the wounding we are bound to get.

1. Identify the lie you believe.
2. Replace it with truth.
3. Support the truth with repetition.

Truth will have a living effect on our lives. We will begin to live according to the truth.

Example:

• WOUND: When Jill was young, she was told by a teacher she wished she was smart like her older sister.
• LIE: Jill believed that she would never be "good enough".
• VICE: Jill began to long for approval. She would seek for it in all the wrong places.
• REPAIR: Jill came to understand the favor God has for her.
• EFFECT: Jill is settled in God's approval and does not seek for it in unhealthy places.

There is a path through grief. Helping our grieving teens make progress along that path is so important. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Craig Stickling give us practical tips on doing just that.

Things to remember as you walk with a grieving teen:

• Acknowledge the difficulty.
• Listen to their thoughts and feelings.
• Ask for permission.
• Remember anniversaries.
• Remember the intensity of grief will over time subside.
• Healing comes by moving though the grief cycle. https://www.accounseling.org/phases-of-grief/
• Healing comes by processing the loss.
• Healing comes by connecting with Christ.
• Healing comes by acceptance.
• Healing comes by doing.
• Healing is possible.

Grief is always hard no matter the age. Yet, our teens experience a unique challenge when it comes to working through loss. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Craig Stickling walk us through the complexities of grief on the maturing heart and mind.

Grief and loss can be troubling to teens...

• Their knowledge is outpacing their experience.
• Their notion of a safe world is challenged.
• While they are learning to take control of various aspects of their lives, they learn that they don't have control.
• Grief can be unsettling during a time when they are forming their identity.

While a teen's grieving experience varies dramatically, it will likely include...

• Shock
• Denial
• Depression
• Anger
• Sometimes confusing competing emotions https://www.accounseling.org/grief-and-emotions/

The cigarette is falling out of favor with the general public. Stepping into its place and gaining favor is the modernized e-cigarette. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Dr. Aaron Plattner helps us understand the growing appeal of vaping.

Sometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages.

3 Small Things

Be Purposeful

• Highly happy couples generously focus on what their mate is giving to them. The spouse, in turn, deliberately tries to give back.

Be Present

• Highly happy couples fully invest emotionally in their marriage by risking vulnerability; this leads to a dramatically increased security and happiness in the relationship.

Be Positive

• Highly happy couples give their spouse most of the credit for their relationship success – and they live in regular, conscious gratitude as a result.

Taken from "The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference" by Shaunti Feldhahn

Like a faulty check engine light that comes on prematurely, some consciences trigger signals of guilt when they shouldn't be triggered. This is called false guilt. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr explains the difference and how to detect if that check engine light is real or not.

• True guilt is grounded in truth.
• False guilt is grounded in feelings.
• True guilt motivates us to deal with sin and move forward.
• False guilt causes us to stall and spin in confession.
• True guilt listens to scriptural objectivity.
• False guilt listens to anxiety and depression.

How to deal with false guilt: A person dealing with false guilt typically hold themselves to standards they would not impose on others. They may benefit from getting perspective and counsel from other people. They should focus on moving forward and will need to elevate Christ's promises to them and not allow their feelings to undermine the truth.