Breaking Bread Podcast

Community has become a popular ideal. A reaction, no doubt, to the ill-effect of our increasingly independent lives. Clubs, groups, associations, and fellowships offer much needed connection and identification for people feeling more and more alone. How is the Christian community unique in providing the connection we fundamentally need? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Isaac Funk elevate the community of Jesus.

Community Identifiers

The Christian Community is…

• God's ordained way of extending His love to His own people and with the world.
• The communion of the Holy Spirit living among its participants.
• A place where people are known and loved.

The words we use matter: alcoholic, depressed, narcissist, bipolar - these are all examples of labels we use to describe people. Labels stick - for good or bad. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. helps straighten us out with what sometimes turns into adult name-calling.

There is a difference between using labels "for" or "against" people. When labels are used responsibly, they should reflect reality with the intent to bring understanding and help to people.

Using Labels "for a Person:

• Labels accurately reflect reality and are used to chart a healthy path forward.
• Labels are not the primary identification of a person. Rather, for the Christian, Christ's identity is primary.
• Change and redemption is possible.

Using Labels "against" a Person:

• While some labels may accurately reflect reality, they are used to punish or isolate.
• Labels that do not accurately reflect reality.
• Labels remain as primary identifier of the individual indefinitely.
• Change and redemption is not possible.

Our young people transition into adulthood gradually and with assistance. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel explains the role community plays in this process. She highlights the responsibility that is ours and equips us with the tool set needed to get the job done.

Connect with the young people in your life.

• Know them.
• Listen to them.
• Care for them.
• Challenge them.
• Equip them.
• Give responsibility to them.
• When they fail, receive them.

Forgive, overlook and acknowledge - three verbs that give the embittered a path to freedom. None are easy. In in this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling brings them near and demonstrates the path out from his own life experience.

Show notes

Bitterness has a root:

The root starts with hurt. Hurt that is not properly cared for. This hurt leads to anger. Anger left to seethe and build over time leads to stubbornness. Impenetrable walls are then built to protect. Behind these walls a rebellion settles in.

Bitterness grows:

Minor and major hurtful events stacked one on top of the other over time breeds a canker. The canker travels its way into many areas of our lives.

Bitterness has a fruit:

The fruit tastes of isolation, division and hardness.

Bitterness has a remedy:

The embittered must engage with the hurt in three ways. Applying forgiveness where they have been sinned against. Overlooking misunderstandings and imperfections where they exist in their offender and acknowledging whatever truth that may exist in the hurt for their personal betterment.

Hurt, not properly cared for, can turn to bitterness. Bitterness, not properly cared for, defiles much. In this episode series, Craig Stickling addresses properly caring for hurt and bitterness.

Do we love each other because we agree? Or is our love based on something deeper? Surprisingly, conflict exposes the answer. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Matt Kaufmann and Brian Sutter address the nature of conflict and highlight the role our consciences play.

• God has given everyone a conscience.
• The conscience gives us a sense of right and wrong.
• We should listen to our conscience.
• Our conscience is not perfectly tuned to truth.
• We should be a steward of our conscience.
• Scripture should inform our conscience.
• The Holy Spirit should direct our conscience.
• Relationships should refine our conscience.
• When our consciences differ with others, conflict can result.
• Conflict can help mature our conscience.
• We should honor another person's conscience.

God wants us to know Him. He wants our thoughts towards Him and our feelings about Him to be guided by truth. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. helps us evaluate our God image and provides tips on how to have an increasingly more accurate view of God.

It is important to note:

• There are common inaccurate God images. Below are a few examples:
• • "The God of Impossible Expectations" – God holds us to impossible standards and punishes us when we don't meet them. He is never satisfied.
  • "The Emotionally-Distant God" – God withdraws from us when we go through struggles and difficulties.
  • "The Gotcha God" – God is out to get us. He doesn't like to see us happy. He is always looking for a way to 'pull the rug out' from under us.
  • "The Hiding God" – God has a will for me but He won't tell me what it is and will punish me if I don't find it.

• There are good ways to recapture an accurate God image. Below are a few suggestions:
• • Don't superimpose your experience onto the scriptures. Instead let the scriptures inform your experiences.
  • Surround yourself with people that model grace and truth and point out God image distortions.
  • Be patient. It takes time to bring healthy correction to our long-held God image.
  • Memorize Bible verses. Truth is required.
  • Meditate on Bible truth. Personalize the Scriptures by moving the knowledge you're your head to your heart.
  • Take time to be still. Sit quietly and deliberately imagine God's nurturing care, love and reception of you.

Revealing God the Father to human beings was one of the purposes of Christ's ministry. He wanted His hearers to know God and to view Him accurately. In this episode, Ted Witzig Jr. explains how our God image is formed and the impact that it has on us. While we will never understand God perfectly in this life, we can work to be sure we are not viewing Him through distorted lenses.

It is important to note…

* Everyone has a God concept and a God image.

* How we picture God and believe He feels toward us are very impactful in how we relate to Him.

* Those things we know about God (i.e., 'head-knowledge') make up our God concept.

* Our God concept is formed by information that we learn about Him from the Bible and what others teach us.

* Those things we feel about God, including how we picture Him, feelings we feel toward Him, and how we imagine He feels towards us is called our God image.

* Our God image is formed through life experiences including our relationship with major attachment figures (primarily one's father and mother).

* Positive influences such as love, security, mercy, and relationships with benevolent authority figures lead toward the development of a healthy God image.

* Trauma, mental illness, loss, and wounded trust are all experiences that can have a negative impact on our God image.

Am I okay? What do people think of me? Should I be happy with myself? These self- questions highlight insecurity. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter walks us through the finer points of insecurity and presents to us true security.

Insecurities are common among all ages. While the things we seek security in change over time, the fact remains that security is a common human desire. Insecurity is helpful in this way. It highlights our desire for security and prompts us with a critical question, "What should my security be in?" Is it in my job, finances, relationships or looks? Just like financial securities, some are better than others, the securities we desire are not all equal. Who do we seek approval from? What is required for me to be happy with myself? Just how secure are these securities? Most often, we look to securities that are exterior to us-the affirmation of a group, the achievement of a goal. Wonderfully, God is that exterior security He wants us to be settled in. Because of God's dependability, He is the security that is superior to all others.

Sometimes interactions are charged with emotion. Often, we react to the escalation only to make it worse. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer helps us let the steam out of the charged moment so we can have rational dialogue. The key to doing this is called "validation."

Validation in interpersonal interactions.

What it is.

What it does.

What it looks like.

When do you use it?

What it is not.

Accepting a person's experience.

Deescalates charged emotional interactions.

Being curious about another person's experience.

Heated disagreements.

Not reactive

Joining someone in their experience.

Values another's personhood.

Validating first, correcting second.

When strong negative emotions are present.

Not agreement

Understanding a person's emotional response.

Puts relationship first.

Showing a person that you "see them."

When you are calm enough to listen.

Not avoiding

Builds connection.

Accept their response.

Not argumentative

Legitimatizes other's response.