Breaking Free

I have been asked a few times, "What is confidence coaching", "How can someone be coached to gain more confidence" ? So.... in this episode I explain how.

Coaching is all about discovering the patterns of behaviour and fears that are holding you back. Once that is done, you will learn how to recognize your triggers and learn how to deal with them better. Your perspective about things will change and you will feel more motivated to take little steps towards the changes or goals that once scared you. Self-confidence comes from a trust in yourself. A trust that you will be able to handle things. We are simply more confident in some areas of our life than others because we are more experienced in that area and have had positive outcomes. The good news is, you can transform negative experiences into more positive ones with the right guidance and support, just like a weak muscle can be slowly trained to become a strong one.

Discussed in this episode:

• Confidence is a skill that we can develop by understanding the reasons behind the fears that have been holding you back (1:00)
• Focusing on the areas you already have confidence in and finding out why (3:20)
• An example of how a bad experience creates a negative belief (4:40)
• People-pleasing could be a reason behind feeling insecure and less confident (6:15)
• Why the fear of success can be just as strong as the fear of failure (7:45)
• Brene Brown's advice on how to ignore critics and trolls (10:20)
• Actress Salma Hayek's take on critique (11:10)
• The changes that happens when you gain more confidence (12:20)
• The negative effects of comparison (13:00)
• The desire for more confidence is actually a desire for less fear and anxiety (14:30)
• The power of visualization (18:00)

Connect with Rania

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References:

Podcast Episode 21 with Elodie Giuge 'True Beauty'

Brene Brown

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Do you have a more masculine achievement impulse brain or a more feminine utopian impulse brain? Neuroscience has discovered how to market differently to each type. Your type effects your decisions and how you feel about the world. Understanding the differences between each is vital when it comes to marketing but it is also super helpful to understand when navigating your personal relationships.

Katie Hart is passionate about providing insight into our brains, and using that knowledge to help people understand themselves better. She has been running her own neuromarketing business for almost 14 years now, working with clients such as Dove, Honda and Lloyds Bank in that time. She has recently completed her MSc in Applied Neuroscience and is a well known speaker, both nationally and internationally, on ways neuroscience can be applied within marketing.

In this episode:

• How Katie completed her MSc (The Master of Science) while homeschooling her 2 daughters during lockdown (1:55)
• Katie discovered her passion for neuromarketing fifteen years ago where she was able to combine her skills in marketing and psychology (4:45)
• Gender difference in marketing and how most campaigns were targeted at the more masculine brain which only served half the market (6:50)
• The masculine achievement impulse brain is more about competition and the feminine utopian impulse brain is about creating what is best for everyone (8:24)
• How attitudes to risk in both brain types differ (17:00)
• Which brain types match best in relationships (19:00)
• The drive behind achievement can sometimes be utopian principles, like in Katie's case (24:00)
• Tips on how to target your marketing effectively (26:00)
• Testing the engagement of the Uk government standard messaging during covid lockdowns with both brain types (32:18)
• Changing the lights on the Tokyo subway reduced suicide by 74% is an example of how our brains are impacted by so many subtle changes (35:40)
• How eyes are structured differently in male and female and why that is. (38:05)

Connect with Katie

https://katiehart.co.uk

https://www.linkedin.com/in/aboutkatiehart/

https://www.instagram.com/neurokatiehart/

https://twitter.com/NeuroKatieHart

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How can writing and poetry increase your confidence? That's what I wanted to find out in this episode of Breaking free by talking to my guest Adukeh.

Adukeh (which means ‘beloved one’) is a London-based poet with Yoruba heritage. She has a passion for the arts, particularly their ability to heal and empower through storytelling and expression. Major themes of her work include beauty, brokenness, stillness, and healing. 

She describes how she found solace in poetry and journalling as a child who was shy and how in later years it helped her cope with the grief of losing her father. Adukeh reads two of her poems and explains where her inspiration comes from as we compare it to a photograph frozen in time.

Her poetry has given her confidence and has become her calling, taking her to many venues, from cookshops and community centres to cathedrals. She has performed at the Highams Park Festival of Culture, Unveiling Arts Festival, and was selected to perform at Theatre Deli’s Sharp Scratches mental health night.

She also devises and runs poetry workshops and events for various organisations including Tower Hamlets and loves to collaborates with other artists for poetry-related events.

Discussed in this episode:

• Discovering poetry in dark times and how it helped Adukeh deal with her struggles as a shy child (1:18)
• Feeling raw after sharing a personal poem for the first time (3:40)
• Inspired by a performance from actress and poet Michaela Coel (5:20)
• Adukeh's poem 'I am not afraid to shine' (7:10)
• Our gifts don't belong to us alone. How Amy Winehouse's death affected Adukeh(10:50)
• How the death of Adukeh's father led to her starting poetry workshops to help herself and others heal from grief (14:18)
• Adukeh recommends reading the book 'The artist's way' which helped motivate her (20:20)
• A personal poem where Adukeh remembers a moment with her late father, 'What it felt like when he made me a cup of tea' (21:10)

References:

The artist's way : https://www.theartistswaybook.com

Actress and poet Michaela Coel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michaela_Coel

Amy Winehouse

Marianne Williamson: https://kingdomgracemedia.com/our-deepest-fear-by-marianne-williamson/

Connect with Adukeh

https://www.instagram.com/adukeh_speaks/

https://about.me/adukeh

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU2owwz31sqOUwyIrlQmizg

Connect with Rania

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Dr Nikki Ramskill, also known as The Female Money Doctor believes that we cannot be truly healthy while a money nightmare is going on in the background; health and wealth is intimately intertwined.

She is a certified money coach, and runs an award winning blog, The Female Money Doctor. She is the only doctor to be featured in the top 25 feedspot list of Personal Finance Blogs in the UK, and has been highlighted in Plum’s Top 5 Personal Finance Blogs for female financial independence.

She now helps women from all over the world to improve their mental health and well-being through getting organized with their finances and building wealth for the future they truly deserve.

And on today's episode she will be sharing some valuable tips, including a description of the eight money type personalities. Which one are you?

Discussed in this episode:

• The reason behind Nikki describing herself as the female money doctor (2:30)
• Nikki started out with a blog about her experiences with debt (4:15)
• The money medicine clinic podcast (8:30)
• Healthy money habits we can teach our kids (11:30)
• Women are taught to budget and save versus men who are told to invest (19:05)
• Money personality types. How to understand your partner's type (22:10)
• The 8 types in more detail with a quiz to find out yours (24:15)
• Nikki shares that she will be part of a new channel 4 youtube show about money (34:00)

Connect with Nikki:

Find out your money personality quiz: https://thefemalemoneydoctor.com/sma-quiz/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyyP40p8xIi8g55z47ZF68w

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-money-medicine-clinic-podcast/id1490147489

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/femalemoneydoc/

Let’s connect !

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Warning: This episode discusses domestic abuse.

My guest Julie Randall juggled a successful career in sales, finance & management as an employee and then a self-employed business owner alongside bringing up three children. But she also survived several toxic relationships, which were physically and mentally abusive during her 30-year career.

Julie gives us an insight into how a strong, capable and intelligent woman like herself couldn't even see that what she was living with was actually domestic abuse. The toxic relationships were disguised as loving and kind at first but then developed into what sounds like living an intense psychological thriller movie for years on end. She was left feeling confused, depressed, suicidal and unable to trust herself to make decisions but eventually gained the confidence to secretly question what she was being told by her perpetrator, break the pattern and ask the police for help.

Her experiences led to a change in her career and she now works as a female leadership & empowerment coach/mentor. Helping women to let go of toxic relationships, move on after domestic abuse, overcome uncertainty, gain confidence, set boundaries, take back control and move forward empowered to live life on their terms.

Discussed in this episode:

• How being in a toxic relationship isn't always something you can notice straight away (1:45)
• Red flags get mixed up with the nice gestures that also happen which left Julie confused and blaming herself (3:34)
• Julie's first experience of a toxic relationship started when she married at the age of nineteen after three years together (6:50)
• She describes the systematic and constant manipulation she endured for eight years with a partner she had a business with (8:23)
• How the information she shared was then used against her (10:45)
• Why women tend to justify bad and abusive behavior (11:55)
• Living in fear silently (13:00)
• Noticing a pattern in the abuse was the first step towards Julie questioning it (17:35)
• The danger of teaching little girls to always be nice and people please (21:45)
• She didn't take instant action but started to plot her escape (24:00)
• The turning point was when Julie's perpetrator threatened her friend (26:35)
• Moving on without all the answers is possible. How Julie broke free in stages (27:00)
• Finding out who she was again and deciding to help other women (30:00)
• Julie's recent experience being called to jury service on a domestic abuse case (33:20)

Connect with Julie :

https://www.enlivened.co.uk

https://www.linkedin.com/in/julieprandall/?originalSubdomain=uk

https://www.facebook.com/EnlivenedWomen

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If you feel stuck and unfulfilled doing what you are doing and wondering how you can make a fresh new start; do listen to this fun and inspirational chat with my guest Rania Khoury.

She found the confidence to leave a successful corporate career after two decades, when she took a (values in action) VIA test and discovered that her true strength lay in her skill to be playful. Her love for learning and exploring new possibilities and challenges, helped her discover so much more about herself and led her to finding her true passion as a laughter wellness leader and a medical clown with the Red Noses NGO in Jordan.

Discussed in this episode:

Rania begins to make different choices as she gains more awareness about herself and what she values most (3:30)

Always wanting to improve herself, she changed her old school directive management style, through taking a life coaching certification and discovered a new passion (4:40)

Taking the' values in action' test VIA, was a key moment in discovering Rania's number one strength which was playfulness and humor (5:30)

Discovering laughter yoga (7:40)

The difference between laughter and being silly. We experiment laughing together (10:45)

Rania joins Red Noses to help people in need in Jordan by becoming a medical clown (15:20)

How corporate work focuses on the areas that need improvement instead of capitalizing on your strengths (22:10)

Swimming the Bosphorus sea in Turkey from the Asian side to the European side, broke another limiting belief (23:30)

How the glamour of uniforms swayed Rania initially towards a corporate career that seemed to portray confidence, only to find her true confidence grew wearing her uniform as a medical clown (28:40)

Three valuable tips that can help you create your own authentic path (32:30)

Connect with Rania:

https://www.instagram.com/raynia_r/

References:

https://www.rednoses.jo

https://laughteryoga.org

Let’s connect!

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My guest is Suad Bushnaq, an incredible Jordanian-Canadian composer of Bosnian, Syrian, & Palestinian roots.

She speaks Arabic, English, French, Spanish, is fluent in both Western & Middle Eastern music & is active in both the film & concert world. 

Her music, described by the BBC as 'reflective & touching', tackles themes of identity, loss, war, peace, & coexistence. 

She has scored award­-winning feature films & shorts that have screened at festivals around the world. The latest of which is the feature film SALMA's HOME which I am proud to have played the role of Lamia in. In this episode, we discuss some of the challenges and painful times that Suad faced in her life that changed her career path, as well as the beautiful moments that helped shape the woman she has become today. I hope you find her unshakeable confidence and passion about her work as inspiring as I did.

Discussed in this episode:

The beautiful discovery, that I was unknowingly an artistic influence early on in Suad's life before being part of the film (SALMA'S HOME) together (3:15)

The reason Suad was encouraged and supported by her parents to become a composer, who also instilled in her the confidence needed to follow her dreams (4:00)

How the sudden loss of Suad's mother changed her life path for ten years (6:15)

A degree in maths and teaching came naturally as Suad enjoyed the math and architecture in Johann Sebastian Bach's music (9:50)

The artist reawakens in Suad as the film industry starts to bubble in the Arab world (11:00)

Suad describes herself as a workaholic and composes soundtracks for forty films in just seven years (15:00)

Motherhood was another major shifting moment for Suad and how she found reading 'Bringing up Bebe' helped. (16:00)

'The borrowed dress' score was about losing family members as Suad grieved her own father and unborn child (24:30)

How Suad has an unshakeable confidence in her ability as a composer (29:15)

Connect with Suad:

https://www.suadbushnaq.com

https://www.instagram.com/musicbysuada/

https://open.spotify.com/artist/30k85HCLHOFmPzKQCC5uKZ

https://www.youtube.com/user/SuadBushnaq

Tickets for MAY 7th 2022 at Coventry Cathedral, UK

https://www.bpso.org.uk/coventry/

References:

Free PDF download of book, Bringing up Bebe

https://www.seecoalharbour.com/bringing-up-bebe/

McGill University

Malcolm Gladwell's book 'Outliers'

Johann Sebastian Bach

Let’s connect!

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Do you remember struggling with confidence as a teenager? Do you have a teen who avoids all interactions with adults or trying new things? The truth is, they have a lot to deal with and peer pressure peaks around age fifteen. So in order to get an insight into what it feels like to be confident at this age I found the perfect guest, my daughter's best friend Sophie, to answer all my questions about how she feels about life, school, politics, lockdown and lots more.

Topics discussed in this episode:

How people on TikTok sharing their views and opinions can inspire you to do the same (7:50)

Social media can be negative and positive (10:05)

Career aspirations and inspirational teachers (11:50)

Sophie's role models online (14:10)

Can money buy happiness? (15:25)

The importance of being your authentic self (17:05)

Sophie's bravest moment was trying out something new (18:05)

Difficulty trusting your own gut (21:00)

Teenage opinions matter and need to be included in politics (21:50)

Sophie describes herself in three words (24:30)

How Sophie's healthy mindset helped her cope with lockdown (26:15)

References mentioned:

Anastasia Kingsnorth: https://www.youtube.com/c/FloralPrincessChannel

Olivia Rodrigo: https://www.youtube.com/c/OliviaRodrigomusic/videos

Let’s connect!

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How would you describe your ideal partner? A strong man who has the ability to be sensitive and communicate his feelings ? A woman who is both confident and vulnerable and caring?

Well those are a combination of male and female energies that are in balance in one person. (Strong and confident) is a male energy while (sensitive, communicative, vulnerable and caring) is a female energy. Having a balance of both makes you a great person to work with or be in a relationship with.The energies complement one another. Having a more masculine or feminine energy doesn't always have to relate to your actual gender.

In today's episode which coincides with international women's day, I will ask some questions and share tips that will really help you notice where you might need help in boosting your less dominant energy and in turn...start to ooze more confidence.

You will also learn about the power of poses and how standing or sitting a certain way can actually increase your testosterone and lower your cortisol levels ! It only takes a few minutes and can help you feel more confident before a meeting, interview or that special first date.

As women living in a very masculine world that is all about doing and achieving, It has become harder to feel our feminine power. We may have given value to more male qualities and forgotten how powerful the feminine energy is within us. Men have not be allowed either to show or express their feminine energies which has led to rigidity and an increase in male suicide.

Discussed In this episode:

• How to increase your confidence by balancing the feminine and masculine energies within you (0.50)
• Why we lose our spark early on in our childhood (1:50)
• What happens when you repress one of the energies (3:10)
• 3 helpful questions for thought and reflection(4:10)
• Why somme relationships and partnerships are difficult (5:25)
• Ideal partner traits (6:05)
• Masculine energy traits (7:03)
• Feminine energy traits (7:25)
• Things you can do to increase your feminine energies (7:44)
• Things you can do to increase your masculine energies (8:37)
• Power poses that increase your testosterone and lower your cortisol levels in minutes (9:44)
• A gender fluid female KING (11:16)
• How finding your big YES will help you say No to less important things (12:00)
• Things to say YES to (12:44)
• How you can awaken the powerful wild energies that are within you (13:05)
• 'Your a goddamn Cheetah!' (13:55)

References mentioned:

'Untamed' by Glennon Doyle

'Presence' by Amy Cuddy

Hatshepsut the female King.

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We are all confident in some areas of our lives more than we are in others, but sexual confidence is rarely felt or talked about. Feeling confident in your body and knowing what pleasures you, gives you confidence in the way that you carry yourself and interact with others. Our sexuality is an important and integral part of being human, so why do we shy away from exploring it more openly? Why do parents find it difficult to discuss sexuality and body autonomy with their children? Why is shame tied to sexual pleasure in so many cultures?

My guest in today's episode of Breaking Free is sex educator Zina Malas. Born in the UK and raised in the UAE, Zina is a third culture kid who’s lived in Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Jordan and the UK. She started out her career in media and research and made the shift to sexual health after becoming a mother to two young girls and noticed a lack of sexual education and knowledge in the Middle East.

Discussed in this episode:

• Why Zina chose to train as a sexuality educator in a region that regards sex as taboo (1:16)
• How feeling comfortable with our sexuality can increase our confidence (3:52)
• How Zina starting to educate her girls early about sex in order to give them body autonomy, surprised the school (7:40)
• Sexual shame is a feeling, not a fact! (13:11)
• How when women are mostly raised as dutiful caretakers, it becomes hard to be vocal about what they want (15:27)
• How we can give our kids an age appropriate sex talk (17:05)
• Deciding on the Values, beliefs and messages you want to pass down to your children instead of passing on generational ideas that have never been questioned (21:20)
• The danger of kids turning to porn for answers when they don't feel comfortable asking their parents (22:30)
• Typical gender roles can harm relationships (24:00)

Connect with Zina:

https://www.instagram.com/sexualhealth_jo/

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