Breathing Wind

“Grief cracks you open. It makes us vulnerable… I feel vulnerable.” 

~ Christie Aschwanden

“A creative practice prepared me for grief.”

~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

This month, we’re offering you a feed swap.

Emerging Form, co-hosted by poet Rosemmery Wahtola Trommer and journalist Christie Aschwanden, is a podcast about creative process. These two friends cover everything from the business of creativity, to cultivating openness and pleasure, to meeting failure as part of the process. Whether they’re talking between themselves or inviting other creatives to share some of their journey,  their conversations are always encouraging and insightful.

In this episode from Emerging Form that we’re sharing with you, Rosemerry and Christie sit down with each other mere weeks after Rosemerry’s son, Finn, has died and Christie’s father has suffered a stroke. They explore how profound loss has impacted their relationship to creativity, what they’re noticing in their impulses to write or not write and how their tender, cracked open hearts are taking in what each moment has to offer them.

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

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“[Grief] breaks us open, which we may not expect. There's some allowing that has to happen. I'm going to allow this to break me open, to grow a new heart, to connect with people in a more meaningful way, to live a life that's more authentic. I think the breaking open, while it can be hard and scary, speaks to grief as a generative force and the ways it can deepen and enrich your life.”

- Naila Francis

In this week’s episode, our season finale, we reflect on our conversation with Grammy-nominated jazz vocalist Nnenna Freelon. We look at a moment that landed very differently for each of us during that conversation, sharing our takes on why we thought her candid retelling of her husband’s final days should and shouldn’t have been cut. We have fun recalling some of the signs our dads send us to let us know they’re near, including the songs that bring them closer to us — don’t worry, we spare you the actual singing of them. And appreciating Nnenna’s affirmation of each griever’s unique experience, no matter her own wisdom from walking the path, we talk about what was most helpful to us in the immediate aftermath of our losses. We also unwrap what her phrase “Anger doesn’t store well” means to both of us and the place anger has in the spectrum of grief. And given that this is our season finale, we do look back on the podcast’s evolution and the conversations that have brought greater depth to the season. We hope you agree, and that as usual, you find room for your own story as you listen in.

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

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“It's healthy, I believe, to touch these places. I don't know how you can touch your love place without touching your grief place. They're both there. They're layered on top of each other and your joy place. They're all there, and when we  shut down, we shut down all the good stuff, too.” 

~Nnenna Freelon

In this week’s episode, Grammy-nominated jazz vocalist Nnenna Freelon takes us on a journey through her many realms of grief. As compelling a storyteller as she is a performer, Nnenna candidly reflects on her ongoing evolution as a griever since the deaths of her beloved husband Phil and sister Debbie. She shares how she has turned to creativity, including her music, not only as a grief practice but as a way to stay connected to Phil, why she’s mindful of the words she uses when talking about grief and loss and how embracing grief as a teacher is transforming her dance with this ever-shifting experience. Deeply moving and thought-provoking, this conversation centers grief with so much reverence, wonder and vitality, we hope it inspires you as much as it did us — and invites you to consider what it might mean for you to fall back in love with life while honoring your broken heart.

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

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"Grief, for me, has been about following intuition. It's been about following the feelings. I don’t know what they're saying to me. I wish I knew, but I kind of have given up trying to figure it out. And I'm just letting the grief coexist with me, and that's where we're at.” 

~Sarah Davis

In this week’s episode, we explore grief as it’s surfaced — or hasn’t — in the days leading up to Father’s Day and how challenging it can be to make space for the grief over one parent when caring for another. Inspired by our conversation with Dan Fischer of One Last Wave Project, we also talk about the creative energy in grief and how that can inspire us to connect to others in new ways or channel our experience into outlets that end up serving more than our own individual journeys. As we muse on our mutual love of the ocean, we bring our dads into the conversation, too — and learn some things we never knew about each other. And we reflect on the pets we’ve loved, the dogs and cats, and their moments of death and how we coped with our grief over these everyday companions. Join us for this conversation that’s equal parts lively and tender and always honest, and inspired us to also wonder, what would it be like if our dads had a podcast.

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

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"Something that I didn't have any sense of before...was happiness was up here and grief was down here, where it's really not. It's a universal human experience to lose. If we can recognize that we're all going through similar things and be able to share that, I think it's very healing."

~ Dan Fischer

In this week’s episode, Dan Fischer reflects on his journey of grieving the deaths of his dad and his dog Rudy, his best friend of 15 years. He recalls how a moment of vulnerability unexpectedly created a community of grievers willing to be vulnerable, too, as they find comfort and healing in connection — and in sharing stories of their loved ones who have died with Fischer, who writes their names on specially shaped surfboards he takes out into the ocean to honor their memories. Fischer’s One Last Wave Project is not only a way for him to celebrate his dad and their love of adventure, it also reminds him of the universality of grief and loss, the beauty of intentionally connecting to our loved ones, even when it hurts, and the power of openly admitting when we’re not OK.

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

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“I think with any person's life, there's a lot of joy. There's a lot of beauty, there's a lot of love and hope, but there's also a lot of grief and tragedy and, and sorrow.” 

~ Christina Vo

In this week’s episode, Sarah reflects on many of the conversations she had in Season 1, as well as a few from Seasons 2-3, contributed by guests who reflect on their grief over the death of their moms. As expected with such a significant loss, the grief is layered — touching on identity, memory, connection and the shifting ways we relate to ourselves and our loved one who is no longer with us. Naila and Sarah discuss the nuances in these episodes, as well as the common threads that connect us in our grief and our universal longing for our experiences to be honored and validated. 

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

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“Some people think solitude and loneliness are the same thing, but to me solitude is almost this soulful, nourishing kind of quality that I need, [that] we need, and especially when we're grieving.”

— Naila Francis

In this episode, we reflect on our earlier conversation with Sarah Chaves. We explore why silence and solitude are essential for both of us on our grief journeys and reflect on being the grief-go-to-girl in many of our relationships and how that can be both challenging and gratifying. Naila offers some of the ways she shows up for her grieving friends but we also talk about the necessity of having boundaries when we don't have the capacity to support others. And for "This is Us" fans, we share our thoughts on how the series captured grief. As usual, our conversation is punctuated by laughter and playfulness, but as we look back to past episodes where guests have shared the experience of reaching the age that their parent died, we touch into a tender and candid moment around the milestones we won't share with our dads.

We hope you’ll reflect along with us. Visit Breathing Wind’s Instagram to share what these questions inspire in you.

To find out more about this episode, other resources mentioned, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

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“Grief is ever present. It's not like this little cloud that hangs above my head. That's not it. It's the fact that it is a lens through which I view the world and all my relationships constantly. I cannot take off that lens.” ~ Sarah Chaves

In this week’s episode, author Sarah Chaves brings us a rich and stirringly honest conversation about grieving as a mom, daughter and writer who began crafting her story of loss right after her dad died. She walks us into a deeply cathartic moment on that writing journey, opens up about how grief has affected the dynamics in her family relationships and how she both welcomes and feels burdened by playing the role of gatherer and tender. Sarah also unapologetically speaks to the presence of anger in her life, which came as a big surprise after her son was born. 

 We hope you’ll reflect along with us. Visit Breathing Wind’s Instagram to share what these questions inspire in you.

To find out more about this episode, other resources mentioned, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Want more time with us? Join our Patreon.

“Leaning into love is leaning into grief,”

— Sarah Davis 

In this week’s episode, co-hosts Naila and Sarah muse on our conversation with poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer and all she gifted us with her openness and generosity. Inspired by how she’s being guided by her word of the year — “hello” — we share our own words for 2023. We also talk about our willingness, and protectiveness, when it  comes to publicly inviting others into our own grief journeys. As we continue to encourage listening to these conversations for threads of our own stories and truths, we dive into the questions our time with Rosemerry sparked in us. This led to some truly candid moments about caregiving, processing grief, reconciling relationships after death and supporting grievers. We hope you’ll reflect along with us. Visit Breathing Wind’s Instagram to share what these questions inspire in you.

To find out more about this episode, other resources mentioned, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Want more time with us? Join our Patreon.

“I really trust life itself to rise up and help me meet the things that I cannot control. I trust love to show up and help me meet the things that I cannot control.”

~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

In this week’s episode, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer cries and laughs her way through an expansive and nourishing conversation about grief, creativity and love. We talk with her about poetry as a practice for meeting each moment, her unfolding journey through devastating loss and where those experiences of creativity and grief intersect. She also shares how she’s been carried by an immensity of love since the death of her son Finn, in the same year that her father died, and how grief has deepened her trust in that love while inviting her, over and over again, to say yes to the world. 

To find out more about this episode, other resources mentioned, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Want more time with us? Join our Patreon.