Out Late With David

Brian Janes - came out after 26 years of marriage, now finding his place in his new community


Listen Later

Summary  

Brian Janes, a successful real estate broker, came out as gay at age 49 after 26 years of marriage. He loved being married and had a strong connection with his wife, but deep down, he had a sexual desire that didn't match up with her. After years of therapy and self-help, his wife eventually told him she wanted a divorce. Brian knew he was gay from a young age but didn't know how to embrace it. He suppressed his true self and lived in fear of being found out. After his divorce, he made the decision to come out and started a podcast for men coming out later in life.  

Keywords:  comingout, marriage, divorce, self-discovery, suppression, fear, loneliness, podcast, outlate, gay, alwaysgay  

Takeaways

Suppressing your true self can lead to frustration and strain in relationships.
Coming out later in life can be a difficult and lonely process.
Embracing your true self can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life.
Sharing your story and being vulnerable can help others going through similar experiences.  

Titles

The Journey of Coming Out Later in Life
Embracing Your True Self and Finding Personal Growth  

Sound Bites
"Don't Let Your Wonder Turn Into Closure"
"Here I Am, a Proud Gay Man"
"You're Not Alone, We're All Out Here"  

Chapters (audio)

00:00 Introduction: Brian James' Journey
01:15 The Love and Connection of Marriage
03:11 The Strain and Separation in Divorce
04:09 Suppressing Identity and Fear of Coming Out
08:27 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery
14:13 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children
18:12 Starting the Podcast: Coming Inside Out
23:09 Loneliness and Struggles After Coming Out
28:14 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance
30:31 Conclusion: Forgiving and Loving Yourself  


Chapters (video)

00:00 Introduction and Background
03:04 Suppressing True Self in a Marriage
07:50 The Decision to Come Out
10:43 The Power of Wonder and Curiosity
13:36 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children
17:23 Exploring the New World
19:17 Regrets and Self-Kindness
21:2 0Loneliness and Self-Discovery
24:19 Starting the Podcast
27:37 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance
29:54 Summary and Closing  

Song Lyric Reflection: Ben Platt's "Older." 
  • Older lyrics:  https://www.google.com/search?q=ben+platt+older+lyrics&oq=ben+platt+older+lyrics&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIKCAEQABiABBiiBDIKCAIQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ2NzdqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
  • Older on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_sADbvPmzE  
Podcast website and resourceshttps://www.OutLateWithDavid.com  

YouTube Edition:    https://youtu.be/n3Iuqhu2K5M 

YouTube Channel:   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg   Certified

Professional Life Coach, David Cottonhttps://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com  

Contact memailto:[email protected]

© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Out Late With DavidBy David Cotton

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

20 ratings


More shows like Out Late With David

View all
Savage Lovecast by Dan Savage

Savage Lovecast

6,142 Listeners

Making Gay History | LGBTQ Oral Histories from the Archive by Eric Marcus

Making Gay History | LGBTQ Oral Histories from the Archive

1,338 Listeners

The Daily by The New York Times

The Daily

112,758 Listeners

Talk About Gay Sex TAGSPODCAST by Steve V. Rodriguez

Talk About Gay Sex TAGSPODCAST

291 Listeners

Gayish Podcast by Gayish Media

Gayish Podcast

1,232 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,870 Listeners

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast by Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast

3,586 Listeners

OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli by Kristin Kalbli

OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli

147 Listeners

Highly Recommended by Michelle Rubin

Highly Recommended

12 Listeners

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. by Rick Clemons

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

84 Listeners

Gay Men Going Deeper by Gay Men's Brotherhood

Gay Men Going Deeper

333 Listeners

The Ezra Klein Show by New York Times Opinion

The Ezra Klein Show

14,859 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Glennon Doyle and Audacy

We Can Do Hard Things

41,033 Listeners

Coming Out Late by Robin Douglass

Coming Out Late

114 Listeners

Letters from an American by Heather Cox Richardson

Letters from an American

4,904 Listeners